求助！遇到了一首触动我的诗，但却翻译不出它的感觉😭

诗是来自Alix Olson的 “Finally, Love Poem”，我是在一个视频中偶然听到的一个段落，很触动我就去找了整首来看，作者也有配音乐的朗读版，和诗同名，Spotify和网易云我看到都有。

网上对于这首诗的资料很少，但美剧拉字至上Q时代引用过部分，我便结合了ifun和爱美剧的一些翻译大致整理了一下，自己本身文学功底不好，找了朋友帮忙修改了，但我们都还是感觉翻译不出读原文的那种触动。

想问问大家能不能帮我一起看一看，怎么样会翻译得更好～感谢大家，也希望这首诗能带给你一些感动！（下面是全诗，段落是我自己分的，按段落翻译的，为方便大家评论我简单标段一下）

#1

Living may have learned can be both sloppy and precise

And so you chose your careful witness to your silly little life

如我们所知，生活可以马虎而又精细

所以你选择了一位细心的人

来见证你愚蠢而又短暂的一生

#2

You begin to trace each other’s journeys

You begin to chart each other‘s pace

You start to notice all the sweetness in the details of their ways

Because loving their learning seeks a language of solace

It speaks volumes about tomorrow when you’re fluent in forgiveness

你们开始追溯彼此的过往

开始调整彼此的步调

你开始注意到一举一动的小甜蜜

因为相爱是寻求慰藉的语言

当你怀有一颗宽容的心，爱的未来才有意义

#3

And sometimes, only sometimes,

they begin to wonder what their ten-year old selves might have said to one another

Maybe something like

I’m sorry

I won’t be with you through this sadness

有时候，你会好奇10岁时的人们会对彼此说些什么

也许是：“抱歉，我没办法陪你度过这样的悲痛“

#4

Like if I could be your axis, I would spin you past the madness

Like i wish i had the wing span to just soar you to what’s after

Like i wish i could just swoop you up and wrap you in my laughter

Like i wish i could return you to this earth with just my palm

Like my palm could be your satellite, your job to just hold on

如果我能成为你的轴线，我会带你摆脱疯狂

我希望我有一双翅膀，能带你翱翔彼方

我希望我抱起你，把你包裹在我的笑声中

我希望我能手托起你，送回到你的世界

让我用双手为你导航，你只需要紧紧抓住我

#5

But your survival will be grace making

Yes, your arrival will be breath taking

And I will be here when you beat fear

When you reach here

When you find me.

你的存在是我的恩典

没错，你的降临让我屏息

我就在这里

等你战胜恐惧之时

等你到达此地之时

等你寻见我之时

#6

Because,

sometimes there‘s a you on a skateboard

Sometimes there’s a me on a sloped curve

因为有时你在滑板上

而我却在倾斜的坡道上

#7

Sometimes familiar becomes magic

Sometimes magic needs distance

Sometimes space is what shapes it

And the shape is not instant

有时熟悉会变成魅力

有时魅力也需要距离

有时空间就来自塑造它的事物本身

而这种塑造不会一蹴而就

#8

Sometimes the horizon’s surprising

And the view is worth risking

And the risk is a long wait but this girl is persistent

有时候地平线会给人惊喜

那里的风景就算冒险也值得

而冒险是漫长的等待

但这个姑娘很执着

#9

Sometimes the future just means that each day is worth finding

And this day is a presence

And this moment is shining

Sometimes her prayers are just soothing

Sometimes her face is just lovely

有时候未来意味着每一天都值得去找寻

而这一天已经到来

这一刻闪烁着光亮

有时候她的祷告抚愈人心

有时候她的脸盘娇柔可爱

#10

Years, years spent searching

Sometimes people get lucky

年复一年的找寻

有时候就是这么幸运