【翻译】幻想（1）
Phantasy
Julia Segal
Introduction导读
Why do we do what we do? Some people insist that they know the answer to this question, that everything they do is rational and sensible. These people never find themselves thinking, ‘Whatever got into me?’ or ‘I know I shouldn’t do that; why did I do it again?’ – whether ‘that’ is drinking too much, getting involved with the wrong sort of partner, or letting their mothers upset them. Such people may not be very inter- ested in this book. Neither will those who prefer to put things to the back of their minds for fear of opening cans of worms. However, many people find themselves doing things which take them by surprise, or which they thought they did not want to do. Some wonder what exactly the worms in those cans look like. These people may also find themselves wondering at the behaviour of others. The concept of phantasy is a tool which allows for quite subtle and complex understanding of behaviour and feelings, even though many of its ideas might initially seem ridiculous. It is only when these ideas have been observed in action that they begin to seem convincing.
为什么我们做自己所做的？很多人坚信他们知道这个问题的答案，坚信他们做的一切都是理性的以及合理的。这些人从来不会发现自己正在思考，“究竟是什么进入了我的脑海里？”或者“我知道不该做那个，为什么我又做了呢？”不管“那个”指的是喝多了，是给不靠谱的合伙人缠住，或者是让母亲烦自己。这样的人可能不会对这本书感兴趣。那些因为害怕麻烦而更喜欢把事情抛诸脑后的人也不会对此书感兴趣。然而，很多人发现自个正在做些让自己吃惊的事，或者做些他们原以为自己不想做的事。一些人疑惑那些罐子里的虫子看起来到底像什么。这些人可能也发现他们自己疑惑其他人的行为。幻想这个概念是一个工具，帮助我们对行为和感受作出相当细微和复杂的理解。即使这其中很多观点可能初看起来很荒谬。这只有在当这些观点已经在行为中被观察到了的时候，他们才开始像是信服了。
The Basic Idea: Daydreams 基本概念：白日梦
Our perceptions of other people depend not only on their real characteristics, but also on what we bring to the relationship. For example, after we quarrel with someone, in our heads the quarrel goes on. Things are said on both sides, and our picture of the other person changes. When next we meet, we greet that person with the memory not only of what both of us actually said, but also with our interpretation of those things, as well as with the memory of the imaginary post-quarrel conversation. Our mood and that of the other will not be quite what they were when we parted; we have to find out where we stand now. Similarly, shortly after leaving home for the first time, we may start a telephone conversation with our mother, expecting her to be interested in us, our achievements, our worries – only to find that she is more interested in the neighbours, our siblings, or whatever she is doing; and in turn, she expects us to be interested in those things, too. We carry in our minds more than one picture of her. We know what she is actually like; at the same time we have a picture of the mother we would like her to be and which we somehow hope she will be.
我们对其他人的感知不仅取决于他们的实际特征，还有我们在这段关系中投入了什么。例如，当我们和某人争吵过后，在我们的头脑中争吵仍然在继续。事情是从关系的两方来说的，我们对另一个人的意象会变。当我们下次遇到时，我们和那个人打招呼，不仅带着我们实际上说过什么记忆，还有我们对此的理解，以及想象的争吵后的谈话。我们的以及另一个人的心情在分别时将是很不同的。我们得发现自己所处的位置。类似地，第一次离家不久，我们可能会打电话给妈妈，期待她会关心我们，关心我们的成就以及我们的担忧。却只发现她更感兴趣的是邻居、我们的兄弟姐妹或者任何她正在做的事。反过来，她期望我们也对那些事情感兴趣。我们记着她的不止一个样子，我们知道她实际上的样子，同时也有个我们想要她成为的样子，以及我们不知怎么的希望她将会成为的样子。
In our heads we not only talk to people, but we also do things to and with them. In our heads we may send a bunch of flowers or a birthday card – only to be surprised when they do not actually arrive. Daydreams of friendly encounters with a pop star, perhaps, or the boy next door, merge into daydreams of sexual encounters. The other person may or may not know of these daydreams. We may be clear about what actually happened, but sometimes we become confused between reality and imagination. Do we remember going to the seaside that year, or is it just the photograph we remember? Did our friend’s father actually throw her out of the house, or just threaten to? Brothers and sisters may have quite different memories of an event, and may be angry at the construction we put on the behaviour we remember. In their heads they have worked it over differently. They may even have heard different things, since not only memory but also perception can distort. When a man says, ‘You didn’t tell me we were going out next weekend’, he may be right; he may only have been told such a thing in his partner’s fantasy. Or he may not have actually heard his partner.
在我们的脑海中，我们不仅和人们交谈，也对他们以及和他们一起做事。同样的，我们可能送一束花或者生日卡片，只是在他们并未送到手时感到惊讶。和一个明星或隔壁男孩友好的偶遇的白日梦，可能糅合了有性行为的白日梦。另一个人可能会或者不会想到这些白日梦。我们也许很清楚实际上发生了什么，但有时在现实和幻想之间我们变的困惑了。我记得那年去过那个海滩吗？或者这只是我记住的一个照片而已？我们的朋友的父亲真的把她赶出过家吗，还是只威胁要这样做而已？兄弟姐妹们对一件事可能有完全不同的记忆，他们可能对我们对自己记得的行为的构想感到生气。在他们的脑海中，他们已经以很不一样的方式做过了。他们也许甚至听说过不同的事情，因为不止是记忆，知觉也能变样。当一个人说，“你没有告诉我下个周末我们要出去”，他可能是对的；他也许只在他的伙伴的幻想中才被告知过这样一件事。或者他根本就没听他的伙伴讲过。
These fantasies which we continually weave around our memories and experiences affect our relationship not only with the person we dream about, but also with other aspects of the world. Actually meeting someone you have fantasised about is an embarrassing idea. Anger with a friend may fade over time, or it may remain as sharp as ever. Thirty years after a bruising encounter with a life insurance salesman, a woman wrote to the Managing Director of the company concerned, saying she still felt furious with them every time their advertising literature came through the door, and would they please stop sending it? A woman who had been in a crash while in the back seat of a car could not get into another back seat for fifteen years. Being given strawberries and ice cream after tonsillitis put a child off both for twenty years.
这些幻想，我们一直在自己的记忆和经验中所编织的幻想，影响我们的关系，不仅是和我们梦到过的人的，也和世界的其他方面的关系。真正的和某个你已经幻想过的人相遇是个很尴尬的想法。对一个朋友的怨气会随着时间消逝，或者会越来越深。在和人寿保险销售员的讨厌的相遇的三十年后，一个女人写信给那个公司的主管，说每当他们的广告从门缝里塞进来时，她对他们仍然感到怒气冲天，并问他们能不能停止给她发广告？一个曾经坐在汽车后座时遭遇车祸的女人，50年来都不能坐到另一个后座上去。给一个得了扁桃体炎的孩子吃草莓或者冰欺凌，会让这个孩子20年都不碰它们。
Daydreams with Long-term Effects 有长期影响的白日梦
Which memories or fantasies leave long-term traces and continue to annoy or distress us depends on their significance. The woman who had problems with sitting in the back seat might also have had other reasons for not wanting to ‘take a back seat’ metaphorically. The woman’s encounter with the insurance salesman happened in the aftermath of dealing with her father’s estate; powerful feelings displaced from members of her family may have played a part in elevating an ordinary instance of rudeness to a constant irritation. Strawberries and ice cream reminded the child of being miserable and alone upstairs while the family laughed below. The concept of unconscious phantasy allows us to understand how these things might happen; how we add powerfully emotive elements belonging elsewhere to a memory, and so translate it into something else: a reluctance to get into the back seat of a car; a fury at the appearance of a particular piece of advertising; a distaste for certain foods. These ‘symptoms’ encapsulate upsetting feelings without leading to their resolution.
哪些记忆或幻想留下长期的痕迹，并且持续的使我们烦恼和悲伤，取决于它们的重要性。那个不能坐到汽车后座的女人，可能也已经有了其他的理由不想“坐后座”。那个女人与人寿保险销售员的相遇，发生在处理她父亲的遗产带来的创伤时。从她的家庭成员身上转移出来的强烈感受，可能已经在将一个普通的粗鲁提升到一个持续的愤怒上起着作用。草莓和冰淇淋让那个孩子想到自己正在忍受的痛苦，想到自己正独自在楼上而家人在下面大笑。无意识幻想这个概念允许我们理解这些事情是怎么可能发生的；我们是如何将来自于其它地方的强烈地感情的元素加诸在一段记忆中的，又是如何把它理解为另一种东西的：坐到汽车后座上的阻抗；对一张特别的广告的出现的狂怒；对某类食物的厌恶。这些“症状”压缩了令人不快的感受，而不用导向解脱。
Disguises伪装物
Daydreams are conscious and we can probably choose to have them or not. But less conscious fantasies go on without our awareness. We can pick these up in various ways.
白日梦是有意识的，我们大概能够选择是否做白日梦。但是更少意识到的幻想正在我们的觉察之外进行着。我们能从不同的方面将它们拿到意识上来。
A song may come into our heads for no apparent reason. With thought, we may discover the phantasies behind it. Looking out at the rain, a writer friend told me he found himself singing ‘ Uh oh, oh no, don’t let the rain come down ’. He was puzzled, as he found it easier to write when it rains. It was only when I asked him how the song went on and he said ‘ My roof ’s got a hole in it and I might drown ’, that he remembered a roofer had told him he should do something about the state of his roof and it was worrying him. Some time later he reminded me that his mother had recently had a stroke, which he visualised as holes in her brain. I wondered if he thought he would drown in tears if she died. The ‘oh no’ made sense here. Tracing back from a simple snatch of song we can find anxieties which are just below the surface, expressed in concrete images. Below those, there are others. The song functioned to keep at bay both his own anxieties and (magically) his mother’s death while disguising them sufficiently to allow him to work.
一首歌可能毫无理由的就进入我们的脑海。经过思考，我们也许会发现这背后的幻想。看着外面的雨，一个作家朋友告诉我他发现自己正在唱“哦不，哦不，不要让雨下下来”。当他发现下雨时很容易写东西时，他困惑了。只有当我问他那首歌是怎么继续下去的，且他说是“‘我的屋顶’有个洞，我可能会淹死”时，他想起一个屋顶工告诉过他，他应该对自己的屋顶的状况做点什么，这让他很担心。后来他让我想到他的母亲已经在最近中风了，他把那看作头上的洞。有时在她的脑海中，我怀疑如果她死了的话，他是否认为自己会淹死在泪水中。“哦不”在这儿说得通了。从一首歌的简单片段回溯，我们能够发现表面之下的焦虑，在一个具体的意象中被表达出来。在那些表面之下，还有其它的东西。那首歌的作用是使他远离自己的焦虑，（神奇地）远离他的妈妈的死亡，充分的伪装它们以便他能工作。
The concrete images are phantasies, woven together to represent and express anxieties and needs (his anxieties about his mother; his need to work). They use his experience of the present (his recent encounter with the roofer) and the past (the song itself; the belief in magic); metaphors (the ‘holes’ in his mother’s brain); unconscious magical thinking (‘I can stop my mother dying by saying “oh no”’). Phantasies in this sense are actions (a piece of magic) as well as causing actions (the refrain going through his head).
那具体的意象正是幻想，融合在一起来呈现和表达焦虑与需要（他的有关母亲的焦虑，他对工作的需要）。它们使用他的目前的（他最近和屋顶工的偶遇）以及过去的（那首歌本身；对魔力的信念）经验；隐喻（他母亲头上的“洞”）；潜意识的有魔力的思想（“我能通过说‘哦不’来阻止我母亲的死亡”）。在这种程度上，幻想是行动（一个魔法）也导致行动（出现在脑海里的歌词）。
Sometimes we are aware of no more than a vague irritability in ourselves or someone else. With a bit of thought, we may be able to diagnose its cause quite easily; but we have to take that thought and there may be good reason not to. Another person may be able to see more clearly than we can.
有时我们在自己身上和其他人那里，意识到的不过是一个模糊的刺激而已。只需花点心思，我们就可能非常容易地就判断出其原因了。但是我们得考虑，可能有很好的理由不去那样做。另外一个人也许能比我们看的更清楚。
In counselling, a woman with multiple sclerosis talked about herself and her family. I began to get a sense that she did not expect to live much longer. I asked her about this and, rather surprised, she agreed this was the case. I asked her why this might be, since my expectation would be that she would live for many more years. She did not know. I asked if her parents were still alive – puzzled, she said her father had died when he was 52; she was now 48. Suddenly she became aware that she had always thought that she was like him, and she was sure she would die at the age he had. She realised she had been unconsciously preparing for her own death for several years, and that this had affected her whole attitude towards her children and her husband. In unconscious phantasy, we can say, she was identifying with her father, and her own imminent death was a certain fact.
在咨询中，一个有多硬化症的女人谈论她自己和她的家人。我开始有种感觉，她并不期待自己活的久一点。我向她询问这一点，毫不意外的，她同意就是这么个情况。我问她为什么可能是这样的，因为我的期待是她将活很多年。她说不知道。我问到，她的父母是否还活着——这让她有些困惑，她说她的父亲52岁的就已经死了。她现在48岁。她突然意识到，她一直以来都想过自己像父亲，很确信自己将死于父亲去世的那个年纪。他意识到自己无意识地准备着自己的死亡已经好几年了，这已经影响到了她对孩子和丈夫的全部态度。在无意识幻想中，我们可以说，她认同自己的父亲，以及她自己的即将到来的死亡是肯定的事实。
Fantasies which go on in our heads without our being completely aware of them can come out in other ways too. The author Martin Amis in his autobiography describes how in 1977 an ex-lover showed him a photograph of a small girl, saying it was his daughter. He gave the photo to his mother. Later he met the girl amid some publicity. Amis describes the shock which made him ‘jump out of his boots’ when Maureen Freely, reviewing his work, ‘noted the punctual arrival – just in time for my third novel, Success (1978), of a stream of lost or wandering daughters and putative or fugitive fathers, and that these figures recurred, with variations, in every subsequent book’.
我们完全意识不到的幻想也会以其他的方式产生。作者Martin Amis在他的自传中描述，在1977年一个前女友是如何给他看一个小女孩的照片，并说这是他的女儿。他把照片给了他母亲。不久后他在一堆宣传材料中遇到了那个女孩。Amis描述那种让他魂不附体的震惊，当正在审阅他的作品的Maureen Freely，“记下一群走失的或者正在流浪的女儿们和指定的或逃亡的父亲们准时的到达时间，正好赶上我的第三本小说《成功》（1987） ，这些人物的变体在后来的每一本书中重复的出现”
Amis continues:
There was nothing I could do about this diagnosis. It chimed with something Patrick had said during our first talk on the telephone: ‘I expect it’s been in the back of your mind’. Yes, exactly: in the back of my mind. Your writing comes from the back of your mind, where thoughts are unformulated and anxiety is silent. I felt there was something almost embarrassing about the neatness and obviousness of the Freely interpretation. But it also sharply consoled me, because it meant that I had been with Delilah in spirit far more than I knew . 1
Amis继续描述道：
对这种鉴定我什么也做不了。机械地重复着Patrick在我们首次电话交流中已经说过的话，“我期待这已经在你的心灵深处了”。是的，正是在我的心灵深处。你的写作来自于你的心灵深处。那是思想未被系统化和焦虑是沉默的地方。对Freely解释的简洁和明显，我感到有某种几乎是令人为难的东西。但是它也很明显地安慰了我，因为这意味着，我已经在心灵上和Delilah在一起了，远超过我所知道的。
Once Amis knew about the existence of his daughter, she turned up again and again in his mind – but in a disguised form. She existed in his mind in unconscious phantasy only, determin- ing his writing without his recognising it. I think he was wrong about anxiety being silent at the back of the mind, however. We cannot silence anxieties by pushing them to the back of our minds in phantasy; we have to work them through. Until we do, they seek expression in the song which catches us unawares; in a fight we did not really mean to have; in an inhibition; in a piece of writing which others can interpret and understand.
一旦Amis知道了女儿的存在，她不停的在他的脑海里出现，却是以一种伪装的形式。她只是存在于他脑海中，他的无意识幻想中。这决定了他的写作而不需要认出它。然而，我认为关于心灵深处沉默的焦虑，他是错的。我们不能通过在幻想中把焦虑推往心灵深处而让它们静下来；我们不得不修通它们。直到我们做到了，它们在那首不知不觉抓住了我们的歌中寻求表达；在一种我们并不认为真的有的斗争中；在这一种抑制中；在一部别人能够解释和理解的作品中寻求表达。
Julia Segal
Introduction导读
Why do we do what we do? Some people insist that they know the answer to this question, that everything they do is rational and sensible. These people never find themselves thinking, ‘Whatever got into me?’ or ‘I know I shouldn’t do that; why did I do it again?’ – whether ‘that’ is drinking too much, getting involved with the wrong sort of partner, or letting their mothers upset them. Such people may not be very inter- ested in this book. Neither will those who prefer to put things to the back of their minds for fear of opening cans of worms. However, many people find themselves doing things which take them by surprise, or which they thought they did not want to do. Some wonder what exactly the worms in those cans look like. These people may also find themselves wondering at the behaviour of others. The concept of phantasy is a tool which allows for quite subtle and complex understanding of behaviour and feelings, even though many of its ideas might initially seem ridiculous. It is only when these ideas have been observed in action that they begin to seem convincing.
为什么我们做自己所做的？很多人坚信他们知道这个问题的答案，坚信他们做的一切都是理性的以及合理的。这些人从来不会发现自己正在思考，“究竟是什么进入了我的脑海里？”或者“我知道不该做那个，为什么我又做了呢？”不管“那个”指的是喝多了，是给不靠谱的合伙人缠住，或者是让母亲烦自己。这样的人可能不会对这本书感兴趣。那些因为害怕麻烦而更喜欢把事情抛诸脑后的人也不会对此书感兴趣。然而，很多人发现自个正在做些让自己吃惊的事，或者做些他们原以为自己不想做的事。一些人疑惑那些罐子里的虫子看起来到底像什么。这些人可能也发现他们自己疑惑其他人的行为。幻想这个概念是一个工具，帮助我们对行为和感受作出相当细微和复杂的理解。即使这其中很多观点可能初看起来很荒谬。这只有在当这些观点已经在行为中被观察到了的时候，他们才开始像是信服了。
The Basic Idea: Daydreams 基本概念：白日梦
Our perceptions of other people depend not only on their real characteristics, but also on what we bring to the relationship. For example, after we quarrel with someone, in our heads the quarrel goes on. Things are said on both sides, and our picture of the other person changes. When next we meet, we greet that person with the memory not only of what both of us actually said, but also with our interpretation of those things, as well as with the memory of the imaginary post-quarrel conversation. Our mood and that of the other will not be quite what they were when we parted; we have to find out where we stand now. Similarly, shortly after leaving home for the first time, we may start a telephone conversation with our mother, expecting her to be interested in us, our achievements, our worries – only to find that she is more interested in the neighbours, our siblings, or whatever she is doing; and in turn, she expects us to be interested in those things, too. We carry in our minds more than one picture of her. We know what she is actually like; at the same time we have a picture of the mother we would like her to be and which we somehow hope she will be.
我们对其他人的感知不仅取决于他们的实际特征，还有我们在这段关系中投入了什么。例如，当我们和某人争吵过后，在我们的头脑中争吵仍然在继续。事情是从关系的两方来说的，我们对另一个人的意象会变。当我们下次遇到时，我们和那个人打招呼，不仅带着我们实际上说过什么记忆，还有我们对此的理解，以及想象的争吵后的谈话。我们的以及另一个人的心情在分别时将是很不同的。我们得发现自己所处的位置。类似地，第一次离家不久，我们可能会打电话给妈妈，期待她会关心我们，关心我们的成就以及我们的担忧。却只发现她更感兴趣的是邻居、我们的兄弟姐妹或者任何她正在做的事。反过来，她期望我们也对那些事情感兴趣。我们记着她的不止一个样子，我们知道她实际上的样子，同时也有个我们想要她成为的样子，以及我们不知怎么的希望她将会成为的样子。
In our heads we not only talk to people, but we also do things to and with them. In our heads we may send a bunch of flowers or a birthday card – only to be surprised when they do not actually arrive. Daydreams of friendly encounters with a pop star, perhaps, or the boy next door, merge into daydreams of sexual encounters. The other person may or may not know of these daydreams. We may be clear about what actually happened, but sometimes we become confused between reality and imagination. Do we remember going to the seaside that year, or is it just the photograph we remember? Did our friend’s father actually throw her out of the house, or just threaten to? Brothers and sisters may have quite different memories of an event, and may be angry at the construction we put on the behaviour we remember. In their heads they have worked it over differently. They may even have heard different things, since not only memory but also perception can distort. When a man says, ‘You didn’t tell me we were going out next weekend’, he may be right; he may only have been told such a thing in his partner’s fantasy. Or he may not have actually heard his partner.
在我们的脑海中，我们不仅和人们交谈，也对他们以及和他们一起做事。同样的，我们可能送一束花或者生日卡片，只是在他们并未送到手时感到惊讶。和一个明星或隔壁男孩友好的偶遇的白日梦，可能糅合了有性行为的白日梦。另一个人可能会或者不会想到这些白日梦。我们也许很清楚实际上发生了什么，但有时在现实和幻想之间我们变的困惑了。我记得那年去过那个海滩吗？或者这只是我记住的一个照片而已？我们的朋友的父亲真的把她赶出过家吗，还是只威胁要这样做而已？兄弟姐妹们对一件事可能有完全不同的记忆，他们可能对我们对自己记得的行为的构想感到生气。在他们的脑海中，他们已经以很不一样的方式做过了。他们也许甚至听说过不同的事情，因为不止是记忆，知觉也能变样。当一个人说，“你没有告诉我下个周末我们要出去”，他可能是对的；他也许只在他的伙伴的幻想中才被告知过这样一件事。或者他根本就没听他的伙伴讲过。
These fantasies which we continually weave around our memories and experiences affect our relationship not only with the person we dream about, but also with other aspects of the world. Actually meeting someone you have fantasised about is an embarrassing idea. Anger with a friend may fade over time, or it may remain as sharp as ever. Thirty years after a bruising encounter with a life insurance salesman, a woman wrote to the Managing Director of the company concerned, saying she still felt furious with them every time their advertising literature came through the door, and would they please stop sending it? A woman who had been in a crash while in the back seat of a car could not get into another back seat for fifteen years. Being given strawberries and ice cream after tonsillitis put a child off both for twenty years.
这些幻想，我们一直在自己的记忆和经验中所编织的幻想，影响我们的关系，不仅是和我们梦到过的人的，也和世界的其他方面的关系。真正的和某个你已经幻想过的人相遇是个很尴尬的想法。对一个朋友的怨气会随着时间消逝，或者会越来越深。在和人寿保险销售员的讨厌的相遇的三十年后，一个女人写信给那个公司的主管，说每当他们的广告从门缝里塞进来时，她对他们仍然感到怒气冲天，并问他们能不能停止给她发广告？一个曾经坐在汽车后座时遭遇车祸的女人，50年来都不能坐到另一个后座上去。给一个得了扁桃体炎的孩子吃草莓或者冰欺凌，会让这个孩子20年都不碰它们。
Daydreams with Long-term Effects 有长期影响的白日梦
Which memories or fantasies leave long-term traces and continue to annoy or distress us depends on their significance. The woman who had problems with sitting in the back seat might also have had other reasons for not wanting to ‘take a back seat’ metaphorically. The woman’s encounter with the insurance salesman happened in the aftermath of dealing with her father’s estate; powerful feelings displaced from members of her family may have played a part in elevating an ordinary instance of rudeness to a constant irritation. Strawberries and ice cream reminded the child of being miserable and alone upstairs while the family laughed below. The concept of unconscious phantasy allows us to understand how these things might happen; how we add powerfully emotive elements belonging elsewhere to a memory, and so translate it into something else: a reluctance to get into the back seat of a car; a fury at the appearance of a particular piece of advertising; a distaste for certain foods. These ‘symptoms’ encapsulate upsetting feelings without leading to their resolution.
哪些记忆或幻想留下长期的痕迹，并且持续的使我们烦恼和悲伤，取决于它们的重要性。那个不能坐到汽车后座的女人，可能也已经有了其他的理由不想“坐后座”。那个女人与人寿保险销售员的相遇，发生在处理她父亲的遗产带来的创伤时。从她的家庭成员身上转移出来的强烈感受，可能已经在将一个普通的粗鲁提升到一个持续的愤怒上起着作用。草莓和冰淇淋让那个孩子想到自己正在忍受的痛苦，想到自己正独自在楼上而家人在下面大笑。无意识幻想这个概念允许我们理解这些事情是怎么可能发生的；我们是如何将来自于其它地方的强烈地感情的元素加诸在一段记忆中的，又是如何把它理解为另一种东西的：坐到汽车后座上的阻抗；对一张特别的广告的出现的狂怒；对某类食物的厌恶。这些“症状”压缩了令人不快的感受，而不用导向解脱。
Disguises伪装物
Daydreams are conscious and we can probably choose to have them or not. But less conscious fantasies go on without our awareness. We can pick these up in various ways.
白日梦是有意识的，我们大概能够选择是否做白日梦。但是更少意识到的幻想正在我们的觉察之外进行着。我们能从不同的方面将它们拿到意识上来。
A song may come into our heads for no apparent reason. With thought, we may discover the phantasies behind it. Looking out at the rain, a writer friend told me he found himself singing ‘ Uh oh, oh no, don’t let the rain come down ’. He was puzzled, as he found it easier to write when it rains. It was only when I asked him how the song went on and he said ‘ My roof ’s got a hole in it and I might drown ’, that he remembered a roofer had told him he should do something about the state of his roof and it was worrying him. Some time later he reminded me that his mother had recently had a stroke, which he visualised as holes in her brain. I wondered if he thought he would drown in tears if she died. The ‘oh no’ made sense here. Tracing back from a simple snatch of song we can find anxieties which are just below the surface, expressed in concrete images. Below those, there are others. The song functioned to keep at bay both his own anxieties and (magically) his mother’s death while disguising them sufficiently to allow him to work.
一首歌可能毫无理由的就进入我们的脑海。经过思考，我们也许会发现这背后的幻想。看着外面的雨，一个作家朋友告诉我他发现自己正在唱“哦不，哦不，不要让雨下下来”。当他发现下雨时很容易写东西时，他困惑了。只有当我问他那首歌是怎么继续下去的，且他说是“‘我的屋顶’有个洞，我可能会淹死”时，他想起一个屋顶工告诉过他，他应该对自己的屋顶的状况做点什么，这让他很担心。后来他让我想到他的母亲已经在最近中风了，他把那看作头上的洞。有时在她的脑海中，我怀疑如果她死了的话，他是否认为自己会淹死在泪水中。“哦不”在这儿说得通了。从一首歌的简单片段回溯，我们能够发现表面之下的焦虑，在一个具体的意象中被表达出来。在那些表面之下，还有其它的东西。那首歌的作用是使他远离自己的焦虑，（神奇地）远离他的妈妈的死亡，充分的伪装它们以便他能工作。
The concrete images are phantasies, woven together to represent and express anxieties and needs (his anxieties about his mother; his need to work). They use his experience of the present (his recent encounter with the roofer) and the past (the song itself; the belief in magic); metaphors (the ‘holes’ in his mother’s brain); unconscious magical thinking (‘I can stop my mother dying by saying “oh no”’). Phantasies in this sense are actions (a piece of magic) as well as causing actions (the refrain going through his head).
那具体的意象正是幻想，融合在一起来呈现和表达焦虑与需要（他的有关母亲的焦虑，他对工作的需要）。它们使用他的目前的（他最近和屋顶工的偶遇）以及过去的（那首歌本身；对魔力的信念）经验；隐喻（他母亲头上的“洞”）；潜意识的有魔力的思想（“我能通过说‘哦不’来阻止我母亲的死亡”）。在这种程度上，幻想是行动（一个魔法）也导致行动（出现在脑海里的歌词）。
Sometimes we are aware of no more than a vague irritability in ourselves or someone else. With a bit of thought, we may be able to diagnose its cause quite easily; but we have to take that thought and there may be good reason not to. Another person may be able to see more clearly than we can.
有时我们在自己身上和其他人那里，意识到的不过是一个模糊的刺激而已。只需花点心思，我们就可能非常容易地就判断出其原因了。但是我们得考虑，可能有很好的理由不去那样做。另外一个人也许能比我们看的更清楚。
In counselling, a woman with multiple sclerosis talked about herself and her family. I began to get a sense that she did not expect to live much longer. I asked her about this and, rather surprised, she agreed this was the case. I asked her why this might be, since my expectation would be that she would live for many more years. She did not know. I asked if her parents were still alive – puzzled, she said her father had died when he was 52; she was now 48. Suddenly she became aware that she had always thought that she was like him, and she was sure she would die at the age he had. She realised she had been unconsciously preparing for her own death for several years, and that this had affected her whole attitude towards her children and her husband. In unconscious phantasy, we can say, she was identifying with her father, and her own imminent death was a certain fact.
在咨询中，一个有多硬化症的女人谈论她自己和她的家人。我开始有种感觉，她并不期待自己活的久一点。我向她询问这一点，毫不意外的，她同意就是这么个情况。我问她为什么可能是这样的，因为我的期待是她将活很多年。她说不知道。我问到，她的父母是否还活着——这让她有些困惑，她说她的父亲52岁的就已经死了。她现在48岁。她突然意识到，她一直以来都想过自己像父亲，很确信自己将死于父亲去世的那个年纪。他意识到自己无意识地准备着自己的死亡已经好几年了，这已经影响到了她对孩子和丈夫的全部态度。在无意识幻想中，我们可以说，她认同自己的父亲，以及她自己的即将到来的死亡是肯定的事实。
Fantasies which go on in our heads without our being completely aware of them can come out in other ways too. The author Martin Amis in his autobiography describes how in 1977 an ex-lover showed him a photograph of a small girl, saying it was his daughter. He gave the photo to his mother. Later he met the girl amid some publicity. Amis describes the shock which made him ‘jump out of his boots’ when Maureen Freely, reviewing his work, ‘noted the punctual arrival – just in time for my third novel, Success (1978), of a stream of lost or wandering daughters and putative or fugitive fathers, and that these figures recurred, with variations, in every subsequent book’.
我们完全意识不到的幻想也会以其他的方式产生。作者Martin Amis在他的自传中描述，在1977年一个前女友是如何给他看一个小女孩的照片，并说这是他的女儿。他把照片给了他母亲。不久后他在一堆宣传材料中遇到了那个女孩。Amis描述那种让他魂不附体的震惊，当正在审阅他的作品的Maureen Freely，“记下一群走失的或者正在流浪的女儿们和指定的或逃亡的父亲们准时的到达时间，正好赶上我的第三本小说《成功》（1987） ，这些人物的变体在后来的每一本书中重复的出现”
Amis continues:
There was nothing I could do about this diagnosis. It chimed with something Patrick had said during our first talk on the telephone: ‘I expect it’s been in the back of your mind’. Yes, exactly: in the back of my mind. Your writing comes from the back of your mind, where thoughts are unformulated and anxiety is silent. I felt there was something almost embarrassing about the neatness and obviousness of the Freely interpretation. But it also sharply consoled me, because it meant that I had been with Delilah in spirit far more than I knew . 1
Amis继续描述道：
对这种鉴定我什么也做不了。机械地重复着Patrick在我们首次电话交流中已经说过的话，“我期待这已经在你的心灵深处了”。是的，正是在我的心灵深处。你的写作来自于你的心灵深处。那是思想未被系统化和焦虑是沉默的地方。对Freely解释的简洁和明显，我感到有某种几乎是令人为难的东西。但是它也很明显地安慰了我，因为这意味着，我已经在心灵上和Delilah在一起了，远超过我所知道的。
Once Amis knew about the existence of his daughter, she turned up again and again in his mind – but in a disguised form. She existed in his mind in unconscious phantasy only, determin- ing his writing without his recognising it. I think he was wrong about anxiety being silent at the back of the mind, however. We cannot silence anxieties by pushing them to the back of our minds in phantasy; we have to work them through. Until we do, they seek expression in the song which catches us unawares; in a fight we did not really mean to have; in an inhibition; in a piece of writing which others can interpret and understand.
一旦Amis知道了女儿的存在，她不停的在他的脑海里出现，却是以一种伪装的形式。她只是存在于他脑海中，他的无意识幻想中。这决定了他的写作而不需要认出它。然而，我认为关于心灵深处沉默的焦虑，他是错的。我们不能通过在幻想中把焦虑推往心灵深处而让它们静下来；我们不得不修通它们。直到我们做到了，它们在那首不知不觉抓住了我们的歌中寻求表达；在一种我们并不认为真的有的斗争中；在这一种抑制中；在一部别人能够解释和理解的作品中寻求表达。
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老垓蕤 转发了这篇日记 2016-08-05 17:49:38
