Get it off my chest

done with Peter, knew this day will come but its sooner than I expected.

i feel a bit of pain in my chest, its the same feeling when Nessie broke up with me, its the twisted upset feeling after knowing that im not being loved anymore.

so im gonna sort this out in my head

1. I didn’t mean to be a girlfriend from the beginning(hid some of irrelevant personal info)

2. we’re not compatible in many ways (way of living/future plan/background etc) hormone,appearance and single-side admiration are not enough to make it work

3. he’s eventually gonna go back to us while im for sure staying

4. last but not least, he doesn’t like me AT ALL! we became fuck buddy way too soon. its wrong from the beginning and sadly theres no fix.

but i did learned a lot from him. like im starting to love what im doing(coding), went back to outdoor exercise, challenged myself with a bike tour, started studying the map and the universe. Hes indeed inspiring.

the only pity is that this didn’t end the way I expected, thought hes the next Jaydn, turned out no one compared to him. everyone is unique, every experience is unique.

breakup is painful until you find the substitute. but I can’t continue doing this its literally turning me into a slut and ruining my life. gotta steer clear of any headache to start.

Moz told me life is just gambling, gotta be bold and dare to risk it all.