Reading Notes 12 | The Surprising Power of Questions
From: Harvard Business Review May-June 2018
Title: The Surprising Power of Questions
Abstract
In this article, we draw on insights from behavioral science research to explore how the way we frame questions and choose to answer our counterparts can influence the outcome of conversations. We offer guidance for choosing the best type, tone, sequence, and framing of questions and for deciding what and how much information to share to reap the most benefit from our interactions, not just for ourselves but for our organizations.
DON’T ASK, DON’T GET
People don’t ask enough questions because that most people just don’t understand how beneficial good questioning can be. Recent research shows that asking questions achieves both information exchange(learning) and impression management(liking).
Questions are such powerful tools that they can be beneficial—perhaps particularly so—in circumstances when question asking goes against social norms. For example, during an interview, job candidates are expected to answer questions. In fact, if they ask more questions, they’ll learn more about the interviewer, the organization, the work, which can signal competence, build rapport, and unlock key pieces of information about the position.But most people don’t grasp that asking a lot of questions unlocks learning and improves interpersonal bonding.
THE NEW SOCRATIC METHOD
Besides the sheer number of questions, the type, tone, sequence, and framing also matter the quality of a conversation.
Favor follow-up questions.
Questions can be classified into four types: introductory questions (“How are you?”), mirror questions (“I’m fine. How are you?”), full-switch questions (ones that change the topic entirely), and follow-up questions (ones that solicit more information).
Follow-up questions signal to your conversation partner that you are listening, care, and want to know more. Also they don’t require much thought or preparation—indeed, they seem to come naturally to interlocutors.
Know when to keep questions open-ended.
No one likes to feel interrogated—and some types of questions can force answerers into a yes-or-no corner. Narrowing respondents’ options is dangerous to a conversation.
Open-ended questions aren’t always optimal, such as in a tense negotiation or dealing with someone who tend to keep their cards close to their chest.
People are more forthcoming when requests for sensitive information were couched within another task. Although this tactic may sometimes prove useful at an organizational level, we counsel restraint in using it because it may lead to trust lost between social connection.
Get the sequence right.
The optimal order of your questions depends on the circumstances. During tense encounters, asking tough questions first, even if it feels socially awkward to do so, can make your conversational partner more willing to open up. If the goal is to build relationships, the opposite approach—opening with less sensitive questions and escalating slowly—seems to be most effective. Good interlocutors also understand that questions asked previously in a conversation can influence future queries.
Use the right tone.
People are more forthcoming when you ask questions in a casual way, rather than in a buttoned-up, official tone. People also tend to be more forthcoming when given an escape hatch or “out” in a conversation and that’s why brainstorming is so productive.
Pay attention to group dynamics.
Conversational dynamics can change profoundly depending on whether you’re chatting one-on-one with someone or talking in a group. Not only is the willingness to answer questions affected simply by the presence of others, but members of a group tend to follow one another’s lead. As soon as one person starts to open up, the rest of the group is likely to follow suit.
Group dynamics can also affect how a question asker is perceived. While participants in a conversation enjoy being asked questions and tend to like the people asking questions more than those who answer them, third-party observers prefer the person who answers questions. Because those answering seem more fascinating, present, or memorable.
THE BEST RESPONSE
The way we answer questions can facilitate trust and the sharing of information. Answering questions requires making a choice about where to fall on a continuum between privacy and transparency. Each end of the spectrum—fully opaque and fully transparent—has benefits and pitfalls.
Transparency is an essential part of forging meaningful connections and keeping secrets has costs. Concealing secrets during social interactions leads to the intrusive recurrence of secret thoughts and depletes us cognitively, interferes with our ability to concentrate and remember things, and even harms long-term health and well-being.
In an organizational context, people too often err on the side of privacy—and underappreciate the benefits of transparency. To maximize the benefits of answering questions—and minimize the risks—it’s important to decide before a conversation begins what information you want to share and what you want to keep private
Deciding what to share.
There is no rule of thumb for how much—or what type—of information you should disclose. Transparency is such a powerful bonding agent that sometimes it doesn’t matter what is revealed even information that reflects poorly on us can draw our conversational partners closer.
Deciding what to keep private.
Dodging, or answering a question you wish you had been asked, can be effective not only in helping you protect information you’d rather keep private but also in building a good rapport with your conversational partner, especially if you speak eloquently. Another effective strategy is deflecting, or answering a probing question with another question or a joke and lead the conversation in a different direction.
“QUESTION EVERYTHING”
The magic of a conversation will produce a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. Sustained personal engagement and motivation—in our lives as well as our work—require that we are always mindful of the transformative joy of asking and answering questions.
CONVERSATIONAL GOALS MATTER
