天上的星星

自从家属有惊无险地熬过一场（两场？）病之后，再看到网友的励志故事，就自动跳过情节直接看位置、大小、类型、分化，然后在心里默默估计还能看到作者的多少后续。

即使作为年轻人和幸运者，我们仍然默契地不提它的名字。我们无法跟彼此聊起那段时间到底经历了什么，只能找第三方去承受倾诉：那些个在学校的大水池面前看着灯发呆的夜晚，变得支离破碎的睡眠，整天整天地查资料读论文，在无亲无故的城市托关系找医疗资源，扎在身体里的针，轰鸣的检验设备，以及最终拿到“没有恶变”的报告单时的一瞬间晕眩……

这让我更加敬佩比这承受得要多得多的人，也让我后悔没有早点告诉他，他是我熬过那段时间的精神支柱之一。

你现在是天上的一颗星星了吗？当我看向星空的时候，还能像之前一样受到鼓舞去直面死亡和忍耐生活吗？

最后送上我很喜欢的一首诗。

二月 February

-- 斯坦利·摩斯 Stanley Moss

(to Arnold Cooper)

A week ago my friend, a physician, phoned

to say he has lung cancer, "not much time

so come on over." I brought him some borscht

I cooked and about a tablespoon of good cheer.

We kissed goodbye as usual.

Then it was as if

we walked out in deep snow.

He was still in bedroom slippers.

March was a long way off, the snow

much too deep for crocuses to push through.

Then it was as if he laughed,

"I lost a slipper. Poor snow."

I put his bare foot in my woolen hat.

We talked about February and books

as if it were a summer day. I thought,

"No better mirror than an old friend."

He said, "In my work I've done what I wanted to do."

A branch broke off a sycamore, fell

into the snow for no reason.

The buildings of New York's skyline seemed empty

of human beings, gigantic glass and steel gravestones.

These words are obsolete.

We had an early summer. He died the ninth of June,

Directed toward eternity like a swan in flight,

Katherine and Melissa at either wing.

Surrounded by love, he landed in his garden--ashes now.

Hibiscus, roses, day lilies: hold firm!