Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Nathaniel Branden was a psychotherapist (he died in 2014) who studied the psychology of self-esteem. He wrote books about the importance of it, including his 6 pillars of self-esteemthat would explain how individuals could nurture their confidence and relationships.

More About Nathaniel Branden

Although not directly tied into his work with self-esteem, it is still interesting to note that Branden was a supporter of the philosophy of Objectivism, which was started by Ayn Rand (whom Branden had a personal and business relationship with).

He spent most of his time (before, during, and after his relationship with Rand), however, developing psychological theories and working on therapies.

He was also into politics, mainly backing Libertarianism and having a prominent role in this political movement.

What are the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem?

Branden believed that healthy self-esteem was a cornerstone to happiness. He believed that if your self-esteem needs were not being met, it could cause psychological issues, like depression and anxiety. He also thought could affect relationships and more.

To him, having self-esteem was having to competency needed to function in life and be happy. He understood that well others can nurture your self-esteem, it is mostly an internally generated feeling that one needs to focus on for themselves.

To help people focus on themselves and develop self-esteem, Branden came up with the six pillars of self-esteem. It was meant as a framework to guide people on the path to happiness.

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem are:

1. Living Consciously – Being aware of your thoughts and actions is an important component of healthy self-esteem. Branden believed in living mindfully as a tool for happiness. Many people in the fields of therapy, metaphysics, and psychiatry would agree.

2. Accepting Yourself – Self-acceptance is an important tool in your self-confidence arsenal. You are who you are, and until you accept it you can't do anything about it. It's important to accept yourself, flaws and all.

3. Personal Responsibility – You are responsible for who you are. While your past shapes you, you need to take responsibility for who you've become. Your actions are your own, no one else forces you to do things (in normal cases, anyway). When you actually take responsibility for who you are you can learn to work toward who you want to be.

4. Being Assertive – Do you stand up for yourself and your needs, or do you feel like a doormat to someone else? This is where assertiveness comes in – it is not a bad thing. Being assertive is simply expressing your needs, just make sure you do it appropriately, and without rudeness.

5. Living Purposefully – Everyone has a purpose, but not everyone strives to meet that purpose. In fact, many people don't even know what their purpose is or how to find out what it is. Being mindful of who you are and the things that interest you will help you determine your life purpose.

6. Integrity – Being whole and sticking with your moral principles is important when it comes to developing healthy self-esteem. In the six pillars, Branden meant this to be a point where people matched their behaviors and their convictions.

These 6 pillars of self-esteem, when followed, are meant to help you have high self-esteem. This is the healthy high self-esteem, not selfishness. In the book, they are listed as “practices,” because they are something you need to consciously be doing on a daily basis in order to make them a normal part of your life.

Other Beliefs Held by Nathanial Branden

Branden, in his studies, would encourage people to build both their self-worth and self-confidence through the building of their self-esteem. He also believed in individualism as an essential part of human freedom.

To be free and find happiness, Branden also believed that people need personal autonomy.

That means being able to make your own choices and pursue your own passions. For people that have started their own businesses or done work in a field that they are passionate about, this dream of personal autonomy has been realized. People that are forced into the family business or to go to a college that is not of their own choosing are robbed of personal autonomy.

The Self-Esteem Movement

Because he included an emphasis on internal practices, instead of relying on others to help boost self-esteem, his form of bettering self-confidence was seen as different from other people in the same field.

His beliefs started what some people referred to as the “self-esteem movement,” something we need more of right now.

This is a summary of The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. If you like what you read here, click here to purchase. Cheers!

elf-esteem is not just important in order to become successful in the business world or to impress women. Self-esteem is one of the most important parts of living a fulfilled and happy life.

If your goal is to become a person, who is happy and independent of external circumstances, self-esteem is the key.

This is why many books, articles and podcasts deal with the topic of self-esteem, and much of today’s material is based on the works of Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.”

ABOUT NATHANIEL BRANDEN

Nathaniel Branden was a psychotherapist and one of the most established writers on the topic of self-esteem. As a pioneer on the field of self-esteem research, he developed his own psychological theories and forms of therapy.

Besides “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem”, he wrote “The Art of Living Consciously”, “The Art of Self Discovery” and “Self-Esteem at Work.” His books were translated into 18 languages and printed millions of times.

BOOK SUMMARY: THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF ESTEEM

Even though they might seem to be the same at first sight, arrogance and self-esteem are very different from one another. In fact, what you will discover is that arrogance is in fact the polar opposite of true self esteem.

Unlike arrogance, which is comparison-based and in fact a sign for rather low self-esteem, healthy self-esteem is best described as: taking joy in being who you are without the need of comparing yourself to another person.

With real self-esteem, you don’t any longer try to proof yourself to others. In this book, Nathaniel Branden presents what he considers the most important aspects that will help you increase your self-esteem.

He refers to them as the six pillars on which healthy self-esteem is based and while it would be possible to only focus on some of the pillars, it is highly recommended to make all of the six pillars a part of your life.

1) LIVE CONSCIOUSLY

The first pillar should not come as a surprise. In order to improve ourselves in any area of life, we first have to become aware of what’s going on. There can be no change and no development without first becoming aware of our behaviors, tendencies and usual responses to certain events.

Distinguish between a fact and your emotional response.

Once we practice awareness in our daily life, we will find ourselves in a lot of situations where we allow our emotions to take over and react very poorly. This has been our “natural” response to these situations for many years and we never questioned our behaviors.

As we start to become aware of our thoughts and behaviors, we can assess our actions. It is important, because our natural response is not necessarily the most beneficial response.

This is often especially true for situations where we get emotionally attached. There are many examples for such situations: Meetings where you don’t dare to speak up, arguments with your partner which end up in huge fights or conversations with friends. We should use such situations to learn more about our natural tendencies.

Correct your behavior if necessary.

Awareness is always the first step, but in order to improve ourselves, we need to correct our behaviors if necessary. There will be cases where it is pretty obvious that our natural response to a situation is not the best solution, like using accusations in a fight with our partner.

But what to do in situations where we know our behavior is not beneficial, but we also don’t know how the best solution would look like? For such cases, I personally recommend the concept of “living by values”. Sean and Daniel Munro talk about it in the first part of the “Endless Confidence” program and you can listen to this particular conversation even if you are not yet a member of the Academy.

2) SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Nathaniel Branden talks about the power of self-acceptance.

We experience self-esteem, but self-acceptance is something we do.

It is very likely that all of us have been in situations where we felt full of self-esteem. This often happens in when we are in our comfort zone or doing some activity that puts us into our element. A professional football athlete is likely to feel full of self-esteem on the field, but might not feel very confident in a sales negotiation.

The lack of experience has a lot of influence on the level of self-esteem we experience. But while we might not be able to “choose” to be self-confident in certain situations, we can always choose to accept ourselves. We can always choose to value ourselves and to treat ourselves with respect.

Accept that you think what you think, that you desire what you desire and that you are who you are.

Accepting is not judging and not liking or disliking. Accepting does not mean we are stuck in this situation. We can still develop ourselves and we are not our thoughts or emotions.

Still acceptance is important in order to create a safe space for ourselves. If we allow ourselves to really be who we are, we no longer seek the approval of other people. In this moment, it is okay to be exactly who we are.

This also includes the acceptance of our resistance to the act of accepting facts we don’t want to accept. Just remember: Everything is okay in this moment and can be changed in the future once we decided to work on it.

Acceptance is the precondition of change.

3) SELF-RESPONSIBILITY

If we want to gain self-esteem, we have to stop seeing ourselves as victims. Being a victim means not being in control and depending on others. If our personal fulfillment lies in the hands of other people, we don’t have a chance to gain self-esteem.

Take responsibility for your life, self-fulfillment and well-being.

Taking responsibility is regaining the control over our lives. Nobody else will help us with becoming self-fulfilled, and nobody else can help us.

We have to stop relying on other people and start relying on ourselves and our own power and abilities. We, and only we, are responsible for our own well-being and once we fully live by this principle, nobody else can prevent us from living a fulfilled life. Other people only have as much control over us as we give them.

Concentrate on what is your circle of influence and neglect what lies outside of it.

We are only responsible for the things we can control. And we should also only focus on those aspects. Otherwise we risk wasting time and energy on things we couldn’t control in the first place.

Things inside of your circle of influence include your response to situations, the way we take care of ourselves, the way we try to improve our lives. This includes exercises, education, meditation, self-love and much more.

And for all the people who believe they need a partner before they can really be happy and live a fulfilled life:

No one is coming to change your life.

It is up to us. So instead of waiting for rescue, we should start taking responsibility of our own lives.

4) SELF-ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is a term often associated with negotiations and gaining something. It can be described of getting what we want. Self-assertiveness is a little bit different. It is more about owing who we are.

Honor your needs and wants. Live and express your values.

First we became aware of our behaviors, thoughts and emotions, then we learned to accept who we are and started to take responsibility for living a fulfilled life.

Now it is about honoring our need and expressing our values. Nowadays people often call this “being authentic”. It is not only about being honest to ourselves about what we want and need, it is also about communicating it when interacting with other people. This includes the ideas and values that might not be so popular with other people. It might also mean to face aversion.

Don’t live to fulfill the expectations of other people.

This is easier said then done. In fact, for most people, self-sacrifice and self-surrender is easier than self-assertiveness and standing up for ones needs.

5) LIVING PURPOSEFULLY

The importance to have a goal in life cannot be stressed enough. Having a goal will give our life a direction. We won’t waste our time with being unproductive but rather become a high-achiever. This in itself will led to an increase of self-esteem.

The goal we choose should be important to ourselves and independent of other people’s opinions or societal standards. Furthermore, it is important to choose a specific goal and not just “I will do my best”.

Give it numbers and a finishing date. It is important to be able to measure progress. Only by making the progress measurable will make it possible for us to tracks results and adjust our actions.

Self-discipline is very important. We have to constantly monitor our behaviors and see if those are in line with our goal. Having a goal and working towards it is a great way to proof to ourselves how we can rely on ourselves.

This is why it is important to really stick to our goal once we decided on it and came up with an action plan. We don’t have to proof anything to anybody else, we only have to proof something to ourselves.

6) PERSONAL INTEGRITY

Having a goal and sticking to it will ensure us that we can rely on ourselves. And in fact, we should make this our daily practice.

Always make sure that your behaviors are congruent to your values.

When our behavior is constantly in line with our values, we gain more self-esteem as we can rely on ourselves to take care of our needs and wants. Again, this might lead to situations where we will have to face the aversion of other people and we might not “fit in”. But these are also the situations of potential growth.

Be honest, as everything else is disrespectful to yourself.

Lying in order to gain somebody’s approval might feel good in the moment, as we feel accepted by somebody else, but it also includes rejecting ourselves. Every time we lie, we tell ourselves “We are not good enough”. Being honest is huge. We have to do it, even when it feels uncomfortable. In fact, we should especially do it when it feels uncomfortable. Remember: Only our own judgment counts!

Ask yourself: What stands in your way of living a life of integrity?

We have to identify the major obstacles and keep on working on them until we live a fully integrated life.

MORE KNOWLEDGE

Nathaniel Branden explains how there are two parts of self-esteem. First we have self-efficacy, which describes the basic confidence when facing a challenge. It is knowing that we can handle certain situations. The second part of self-esteem is self-respect. This is a sense of being worthy of happiness and joy.

Generally, we shouldn’t be confident in our knowledge, but rather in our skill to learn and to handle situations. High self-esteem has nothing to do with being perfect. It is more about accepting who we are in any given situation.

At the end, Nathaniel Branden give us one last tip: In order to grow, we have to seek discomfort. It’s not enough to face discomfort once we find ourselves in such a situation, it is about actively seeking it. The reward will be self-esteem.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND PUTTING KNOWLEDGE INTO PRACTICE

There are many books and programs on self-esteem. Unfortunately, many focus on external behaviors. You learn how to pretend to be self-confident and other people will perceive you as self- confident, but you never focus on the internal aspects.

To me, Nathaniel Branden’s approach of solely focusing on internal aspects that all lie in our circle of influence was very beneficial. Using Nathaniel Branden’s model gave my approach of increasing my self-esteem a clear structure. To me, the six pillars truly are the foundation of self-esteem.

Self-acceptance and being honest even when it feels uncomfortable were game changers for me. Now I will do my very best to seek discomfort even more than I already do, because stepping out of our comfort zone equals growth.

I believe, if you never read another book on self-esteem and truly stick to Nathaniel Branden’s model, you can reach a very high level of self-esteem. As usual, it won’t be easy, but totally worth it.

To purchase The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden on Amazon, click here.

The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field

“The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” paves the path to a better life, filled with better choices.

Who Should Read “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” and Why?

We could all use a self-esteem boost.

That is why we recommend the comprehensive guide to maintaining and boosting your self-esteem – “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” to all readers who are interested in the topic, and who would like to understand how they can build a culture that supports self-esteem.

About Nathaniel Branden

Nathaniel Branden is an American writer and psychotherapist, who has published many books on the topic of self-esteem.

“The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem PDF Summary”

It seems that nowadays everyone talks about self-esteem.

There are tons of books and lectures on elevating your self-esteem, but other than those quick fixes, have you ever wondered what do you actually know about this psychological concept?

Let’s start by defining it.

Self-esteem is a person’s source of resistance, strength, and ability to regenerate. It is the immune system of your mind, and just like your body’s immune system, it is innate.

Self-esteem is crucial in handling life’s challenges and difficulties.

It is also vital for the development of a healthy psyche.

No, no one died because of lack of self-esteem, but no one can live a proper and fulfilled life without it as well.

Why does self-esteem have such a significant impact on the quality of your life, you ask?

Well, the answer to this question is connected to the ways self-esteem functions.

We continuously create certain expectations about our capabilities, based on the beliefs that we have.

However, these expectations are not just imaginary – the affect our behaviors and turn themselves into reality.

So, the beliefs you have about yourself become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That is great if your beliefs are positive.

However, if they are negative, you will be stuck in a loop of disappointment.

If we try to simplify self-esteem, we will comprehend that its essence is something quite simple: the right to be happy.

We all have that right, but the levels of self-esteem a person has determined whether one perceives this right or not.

Low self-esteem manifests in our choices. People who have low self-esteem make decisions that just fuel their negative beliefs and turn them into reality.

People with high self-esteem, on the other hand, do not only steer away from problems but also are not afraid to face and resolve their difficulties.

Okay, having high self-esteem is clearly beneficial, but what can you do to build it?

Do not worry; the process is not complicated and abstract. In fact, there are six pillars of self-esteem that can show you the way.

First Pillar: The Practice of Living Consciously

First, you have to shift your mindset. In other words, you need to begin living consciously.

No, we are not talking about meditations and spirituality, we are talking about the willingness to become aware of three distinct facets of perception: emotion, interpretation, and facts.

Most of the time, when you see something, you interpret it in a certain way, and then you feel an emotion connected to this experience.

The problem arises when people misinterpret things, which happens frequently.

Becoming aware that it is possible to misinterpret the things you see, will allow you to assess them from a distance, and disempower them in affecting your emotions completely.

Second Pillar: The Practice of Self-Acceptance

The second pillar of self-esteem is self-acceptance, which actually is a result of choosing to value ourselves.

Self-acceptance does not mean that you like your negative behaviors and actions. It means that you are willing to accept your reactions and search for their roots.

Accepting your behavior in the present moment will lead to reducing the likelihood of such behavior in the future.

Third Pillar: The Practice of Self-Responsibility

Self-acceptance is connected to the third pillar of self-esteem: self-responsibility.

This pillar explains the need to take control of your happiness and your existence.

Many of us continuously blame external factors for the things that happen. However, the blame will not get you anywhere.

Instead, you have to adopt a solution-oriented mindset.

Fourth Pillar: The Practice of Self-Assertiveness

The next pillar of self-esteem is self-assertiveness, which means that you show the world and yourself your true nature.

To practice it you need to realize that your beliefs are significant.

Each time you express them, you strengthen your self-esteem.

Fifth Pillar: The Practice of Living Purposefully

The purpose is your sense of direction and reason. Living purposefully means that you know where to go and what you want.

Even if you feel that you already are living purposefully, you have to continually monitor your progress, in order to be sure that in every moment your actions match your goals.

Sixth Pillar: The Practice of Personal Integrity

However, the match between actions and goals is just as important as the one between your actions and behaviors and words.

This explains the importance of personal integrity, which manifests itself into a number of everyday, seemingly unimportant things.

At times, integrity seems to be the hardest pillar to lean upon, since we live in a society that promotes hypocrisy and dishonesty.

Key Lessons from “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem PDF”

\1. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem \2. Same Prefix, Different Meaning3. External Factors to Self-Esteem

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

Same Prefix, Different Meaning

Self-responsibility, self-acceptance, and self-esteem are three concepts that people have a hard time differentiating.

The difference is that self-esteem is a result of self-acceptance and self-responsibility, which are the actions we take and the choices we make in life.

External Factors to Self-Esteem

As we already discussed there are internal mindsets and actions that are completely in our power on the path to building self-esteem.

However, there are also external factors that are crucial to building a healthy individual, among which the most important ones are the people that are with us since the very beginning: our parents.

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“The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Quotes”

The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.CLICK TO TWEET

Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.CLICK TO TWEET

We must become what we wish to teach.CLICK TO TWEET

If my aim is to prove I am enough, the project goes on to infinity—because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.CLICK TO TWEET

What is required for many of us, paradoxical though it may sound, is the courage to tolerate happiness without self-sabotage.CLICK TO TWEET

Our Critical Review

“The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” is a well-researched book that the author based on a lifetime of clinical practice.

The book offers a comprehensive definition of the term and outlines six practices that anyone can take to improve the quality of life by building his or her self-esteem.

To be confident doesn’t mean you need to become an asshole or douchebag, only that you’d follow the six pillars of self-esteem. These are the internal sources of Self-esteem:

• The practice of living consciously
• Self-acceptance
• Self-responsibility
• Self-assertiveness
• Living purposefully
• Personal Integrity

Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definition of Self-Esteem

In the first section of the book, Nathaniel Branden defines self-esteem. Our self-esteem determines how we act, and how we act determines our self-esteem. Thus everything we do, and every choice we make, put us either on an upward or downward spiral.

He mentions that self-esteem leads to honest and open communication. High self-esteem also helps you to form nourishing relationships, because like attracts like. You have to accept yourself and feel lovable for others to love you. External love can never fill you up. It’ll create a void within that needs to be filled with self-love first. However, this doesn’t refer to narcissistic or toxic self-love. If you’re indulging in hard drugs, crime or alcoholism you can be assured this is toxic self-love. High self-esteem helps you both to avoid these negative behaviors, as well as being more resilient.

Moreover, Branden points out how we always tend to project happiness into the future. We have to be happy first with what we have right now.

Branden explains how the classical seduction idea of “being enough” is not negotiable in self-esteem building. It is not for you to ever prove you are enough. Accept that you are enough already. With self-esteem, we can be propelled forward with joy, instead of living in fear that we are inadequate or not enough.

Branden emphasizes the importance of morality, responsibility, and consciousness in self-esteem building. Self-esteem is not only about “Feeling good”. If we live our lives by high standards of responsibility (to yourself and others), we can expect friendship, love and happiness as something natural in our path. Part of self-esteem is relaxation. If you live by the codes of respect and ethics, you can embrace relaxation instead of the anxiety of “not being enough”.

Success is worthless without being accompanied by high self-esteem – otherwise, it will not satisfy you internally. Building self-esteem is like going to the gym. In the beginning, motivation is the most difficult. As you gain strength and positive habits, it becomes easier to motivate yourself. Until finally, it is more difficult and frustrating to miss out on a workout, than it is to attend a workout.

The practice of living consciously

This first pillar of self-esteem includes being present to the moment. Instead of shutting off pain, anxiety or fear, try to face it instead with the help of e.g. meditation. Otherwise, our lives are continuous escapism from the present moment chasing external symbols of status and wealth to compromise for feeling bad or inadequate on the inside. Branden encourages perseverance in the face of difficulties and being active in the search for solutions. As Winston Churchill would say “never give up”, even if you’re up against the Nazi’s.

Don’t rationalize your emotions. Feel them fully. Don’t suppress what you feel, let it come up and deal with it. It’s tough but once again, alcoholism, hard drugs and criminal behavior are the dark side of life. Embracing who you are, accepting yourself, and living with high self-esteem and a moral code, is the lighter side of life and the only sustainable way of living.

We have to shed awareness on the problem areas of our lives by asking the right questions. For example, if you are stuck then ask yourself, what keeps you stuck? Is it clinging to material possessions that you barely use, unwillingness to try different paths in life, reading the same trash every day, having exactly the same routine daily, never meeting anybody new, or perhaps never applying a new mode of communication? We have to shed awareness on our lives in order to live consciously.

The Practice of Self-Acceptance

This means valuing yourself and respecting yourself. Also accepting and acknowledging your feelings, instead of suppressing or running away from what you feel. For example, maybe you don’t feel like doing something, like going to the gym. Still, you can accept these feelings, feel it fully, and then go work-out anyway.

While normally we avoid bad feelings, Branden points out that experiencing our feelings can help us heal. You have to repeat to yourself what feelings you are experiencing, and then affirm that you accept it fully. Fighting your mental blocks will make it stronger, but “acknowledging, experiencing and accepting” can dissolve your blocks. If you refuse to accept something, then simply accept that you refuse to accept it. Accept your resistance to change. Accept your conflicts, or you won’t resolve it. Also, accept your excitement, or you’ll mentally block yourself from feeling good. If you run from your feelings, your feelings and emotions will always come back to haunt you.

The Practice of Self-Responsibility

Branden begins this chapter by listing everything we are responsible for – our dreams, our desires, our self-esteem, values and so on. Self-responsibility means actively pursuing your dreams, instead of passively hoping someday everything you want will fall into your lap. No one else will help us achieve our goals if we ourselves don’t do what we can to achieve it first. Make it a daily challenge to accept responsibility for whatever you want out of your day.

The Practice of Self-Assertiveness

Branden describes this as being willing to stand up for yourself and to be who you are openly, while treating yourself with respect in all human encounters. Thus you live authentically, you speak and act from your deep inner convictions and feelings. Of course, everything depends on what is appropriate and ethical in a certain context. As always, respect other people’s boundaries.

The Practice of Living Purposefully

This entails consciously formulating goals. Secondly, identifying actions to reach your goals. Thirdly, regularly check that you are in alignment with your goals. Lastly, pay attention to the outcomes of your actions, to know whether they are leading you where you really want to go or not.

Once again, passivity is addressed. If you don’t do something to reach your goals, nothing will change. Also, doing more of what doesn’t work, won’t get you better results. So look at the problems in your life, e.g. wanna improve your social life – go out more instead of spending time playing video games. Or wanna meet more women, then be outside more. Wanna conquer entrepreneurship? Push yourself past your comfort zone, embrace what being an entrepreneur is about, and go for your goals – while keeping ethical boundaries in mind.

The Practice of Personal Integrity

Branden writes how having integrity includes a lot of different things. For example, you’d be honest enough to tell a cute girl you find her attractive. You’d also be an honest salesman or businessman. Along with the customer, you find ethical solutions together for the problem. You don’t steal. You make amends. You give credit where its due. You don’t laugh at stupid jokes at the expense of others. You don’t betray your own values to fit in (peer pressure). Don’t pretend you’re in agreement with someone if you disagree on the details. Once again, Branden emphasizes respecting the boundaries of other people, in pursuit of living a life of integrity with yourself.

Branden writes about keeping your integrity in a corrupt world. The corrupt world is the obstacle. Doing the right thing can be a lonely path (at least initially), but for the sake of high self-esteem, it’s the only path. A corrupt world is equally devoid of high self-esteem as it is of morality. Which brings the reward of high self-esteem to those who embrace the obstacle of corruption as an opportunity to distinguish themselves from the low self-esteem segment of society devoid of ethics.

Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The External Influences

In the second part of the book, Branden considers the external influences of self-esteem. It’s my least favorite part of the book. Not because the information isn’t valid and true, but its simply less interesting. Instead of dealing with the self-esteem of the individual, its more about how to relate to others in different environments, e.g. work, school and psychotherapists. If you don’t find yourself in that particular situation, for example, if you’re not a psychotherapist, it won’t be as interesting to read how to treat your patients better.

Branden warns companies who always want “team players” to not neglect also having hardworking individualists who set the standard and example for everyone else. It does depend on how you define a team-player. Is this the guy who would shut up about corruption when his bosses are engaging in unethical activities? Or does this simply refer to somebody who is considerate towards others, can work effectively in a group, and keeps to a high standard of company ethics.

Conclusion: Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

As Nathaniel Branden would say, if you treat others with respect, then you feel better about yourself as well. How does this relate to picking up girls? When you feel good about yourself, you feel less approach anxiety. Plus, women pick up on your healthy self-esteem.

The Six Pillars of Self-esteem is a worthy read for anyone wanting to cultivate high self-esteem. It’s not only a theoretical masterpiece of psychology, but also a practical guide towards increasing your self-esteem daily by asking yourself the right questions. For example: “If I could raise my self-esteem by 5% today, then I would do ___ (x,y & z)”. You are then encouraged to fill in the blanks with your own answers. If you buy the book with this Amazon link, you’ll be doing your part to raise your self-esteem by at least 5% in the next day or two.