#letter from an unknown woman #Day 5 recording #《一個陌生女人的來信》 #第5天 記錄
Her boy, also his boy, the child of one of those 3 nights. Again, she chose to guard silence throughout the long years. The boy's dark eyes that were his eyes, all the boy's lightheartedness and mobile imagination were his likewise---in the form in which these qualities can show themselves in a child. Now the boy was not alive anymore, not until this time did she disclose the secret to him and she owned it as the pain in her forced her to do so.
10 years after those 3 glorious nights, he took her in his arms, once more, they went up the well-known stairs together. It was that night, the last night in the woman's life with him, over and over again, all she wished, all she craved was nothing but he could recognize her! Alas, he didn't, he'd totally forgotten this pretty being already. Instead, he paid her for the night and took it for granted; he announced himself was about to the new journey and went on his way unheeding.
I, as a reader, hold the opinion that the reason why the woman didn't tell their son's existence to R is that she had her own self-esteem. Those time when she was still a thin and frail girl, patiently and passionately, she waited his love. However, when she realized perhaps he'd just regarded her as a common girl the other 3 nights, her self-esteem stop her steps to find him, to beg his love. Her longing for him had become less overpowering and she gradually turned her full love to the other him---their son.
她的孩子，也是他的孩子，在那三晚其中一夜悄然孕育。再一次，在長久的歲月中她選擇緘口不言。孩子深色的瞳眸是他的瞳眸，孩子無拘無束，任天性自由想像，輕佻卻不失靈敏而活躍的想像力，正如他的復刻---他身上所特有的嚴肅認真的脾氣，他遊戲人間秉性，在孩子身上都得到了體現。若非孩子已不在人世了，她絕不對他袒露心底秘密，按她的話，這是切身的喪子之痛使她不得為之。
三个迷離閃爍的夜晚過去，已是十年後，他將她挽在手腕裡，再一次，他們一起登上那樓梯，往事歷歷在目。正是那一晚，女人生命中最後與他共度的一晚，一次又一次，一次又一次地，她心中別無非分之想，所希冀的、所渴望的衹是他能認出她！哎，他並沒有！他大抵忘記，尋思眼前這個漂亮女人和其她風塵女子並無二致，他理所當然的認為這是一晚用金錢買來的豔遇。他説，他即將出遠門了，繼續他浪子的征途。
作為讀者，我覺得她沒有告訴R孩子的存在是因為她的自尊心。那些日子裡，孱弱的女孩總是耐心地、充滿熱情地等待他的愛。但是當她意識到那三晚裡他可能祇把她當作尋常賣笑女，她的自尊令她停下找他、乞求他愛的腳步了。她沒有那麼渴望、不顧一切地得到他了；漸漸地，她將她全部的愛轉移到另外一個他---孩子身上了。
