这篇诙谐的打动人心的毕业典礼演讲稿到
这篇诙谐的打动人心的毕业典礼演讲稿到目前为止是我最喜欢的读物之一。当我即将大学毕业之时，我与它产生了强烈的共鸣。我想和你们共同分享它，同时希望不仅是大一新生，其他所有人也能从中受益。
我必须感谢Wee Kim Wee学校的全体教工和工作人员邀请我在交流与信息会上发言。没有任何对矛盾、诽谤和报复的恐惧站在这里演讲10分钟对我来说，是一项极大的荣誉和特权。我以一个或者更多新加坡人及一个丈夫的名义发言。
我的夫人是一个了不起的人，她在每个方面都很完美，除了一点。她是一个杂志的编辑，她以纠正人们作为生计。她用了25年磨炼她的专业技能，而大部分是通过我和她之间在家里的对话来训练的。
另一方面，我是一名诉讼律师，而本质上，我的工作就是要告诉人们他们错在哪里，我以让自己变得让人厌恶为生。
然而，我的婚姻家庭却十分和谐。那是因为当一个编辑和律师产生争论时，赢的永远是我妻子。
所以，我想以给男人们一条忠告来开始我今天的演讲：当你已经赢得她的心，你就不需要再去赢得每一场争论。
婚姻被认为是人生的一个里程碑。你们有些人可能已经结婚，有的可能永远也不会结婚，也有马上要结婚的。有些人会非常享受这段经历，你会结很多很多次婚，上帝保佑你。
在你的一生中另一个大的里程碑则是今天：你的毕业典礼，受教育的终止，你已经完成了学业。
你可能一直在接收一个巨大的谎言“学无止境”，因此你会继续学业，来取得硕士、博士学位或者做到教授级别。你知道是哪一类人告诉你这些的吗？是老师。难道你不觉得这里存在一些利益冲突吗？毕竟他们以教书为生，如果没有你们，他们该怎么办？他们需要你们去做那些重复的消费者。
好消息是他们错了，坏消息则是你不需要再深造了，因为你整个人生都已经结束，一切都已尘埃落定。对你们有些人来说，这可能是一个惊吓。你现在正是青少年或者20岁左右，人们可能会告诉你，你会活到70、80、90岁，这就是你的平均寿命。
我喜欢这个术语：平均寿命。我们都理解这个术语的意思，即一群人的平均寿命。但是在这里，我想讨论一个更大的观点：你对你的人生怀揣着什么希望。
了解到新加坡人的平均寿命很高，在全世界排名第三，你会很高兴。我们排在安道尔共和国和日本之后，和圣马力诺排名一致。这看似非常清楚，为什么这些国家以及我们国家的人们寿命如此之长。我们都有一个共同点：我们的足球队都让人非常失望。我们中的任何一个市民在观看世界杯比赛时脉搏不会加快，所以危险很小。观看者们更容易变得安静，打一个温柔安静的小盹。新加坡人的平均寿命是81.8岁，其中男性的平均寿命为79.21岁，与此同时，新加坡的女性则会多活五年，可能是因为要用这五年抵消在卫生间里度过的额外时间。
所以在你20岁时，你会想我还有四十年的活头，有四个十年让我活得长，变得强盛。
坏消息是，请你看看报纸，有很多人在50、40、30岁时意外身亡，或者可能刚刚完成他们的毕业典礼，他们并没有活到平均寿命，这让他们很失望。在这，我想告诉你们，忘记那些平均寿命，毕竟它只是计算出来的平均值，而且你永远都不会期望自己变成那个平均值。
重新审视那些期望，你可能希望自己去工作、坠入爱河、结婚、供养家庭。你被告知，作为一个毕业生，你应该努力去找一个高薪的工作，因为你的时间如此之多，你肩负着怎样艰巨的责任，这就是别人期待的你，如果你为此而活，你的人生将是一个彻底的悲剧。
如果你期待那样，你就会将自己限制其中，你就会依靠那些由平庸的人所设定的规则来生活，我不是反对那些生活在“平均线上的”人们，但是人们不应该渴望成为他们，而且你不需要让自己最好的心灵在新加坡通过多年的教育变成那个平均值。
你应该为突破困境而做准备，人生就是一场困境，你没有资格期望从中得到什么，生命是不公平的，所有的事到最终都不会平衡。生命发生过，但是你没有掌控它的能力，好事坏事都发生在你身上，每天每小时每一瞬间，在对抗命运时，你的学位只是一个薄弱的盔甲。
不要期待任何事，抹掉生命中所有的期望，只是去活着。自今天起，你的人生已经结束，生命到了这一刻，你已经长到了你能达到的最高高度，在生理上你已经达到整个人生的最佳状态，而且这也有可能是你最好看的时候，这一刻你的生命好到无以复加，此刻以后，你的人生走下坡路还是上坡路，没有人知道。
这对你来说意味着什么呢？你的生命已经结束这是一件好事，因为你的人生已经终结，你自由了。让我来告诉你，当你获得自由之后，你可以做的很多美妙的事情。
不要工作
最重要的是:不要工作。工作即那些你被迫去做的事情，因为工作本身的性质你会觉得很痛苦。因工作劳累而死，在日本有一个术语“Karoshi”，即因工作过度劳累而死，工作如何能置人于死地，这是最戏剧化的部分，但是它也可以以更微妙的方式杀死你。如果你没日没夜、每分每秒都在工作，你的灵魂将会干涸，变得不完整，直到它被彻底瓦解。就像一块石头最终被粉碎成沙砾和尘埃。
这里有一个很普遍、错误的观点，那就是工作是必须的，你会看到人们在干一份很痛苦的工作，他们告诉你，他们在“谋生”，不，他们不是，他们在死去，在一点点得浪费他们稍纵即逝的生命，这样的行为说好听的是没有意义的，往坏处说是有害的。
人们会告诉你，工作使人高贵，工作将带给你足够的尊严，工作使你自由。有一个标语“劳动带来自由”被贴在很多纳粹集中营的路口处，这完全是胡说八道。
不要浪费你生命中绝大部分时间，去做那些让你感到厌恶的事情，以至于你能留给自己稍微舒服的时间只有一丁点，而你将可能永远都不会触摸到那一点点的舒适感。
抵制住得到一份工作的诱惑，相反，去玩吧，去找一些你喜欢做的事情，去做，不停地做，反复地做。由于以下两个原因，你会成为这个领域的佼佼者：你喜欢它，而且你经常去做这件事，不久，这件事本身的价值就会体现出来。
我喜欢争论，我热爱语言，所以我成为了一名诉讼律师。我享受它，我愿意免费做这件事情，如果我不做这份工作，我将仍然投身于与写作相关的那一类工作中——可能是一名体育记者。
所以，你应该做什么？你将会找到属于你的那份工作，在这份工作中，我能想象得出你将不需要看上去那么拼命，在你人生当中的这段时间，你将非常清楚你要干什么，并且知道要怎么干。
事实上，更进一步的说，理想的情况会是你将不会阻止自己去追求激情，这一次你应该知道你的困扰是什么，如果你很享受展示你的知识及被尊重的感觉，你可以成为一名老师。
找到那个激励你、消耗你的追求，否则它就会变成一个困扰。你必须每天让自己充满激情，精力旺盛，如果不这样，你就是在工作。
你们中的大多数人都会死在涉及交流的活动中，对于这些人，我给你们第二条忠告：面对真相，请保持谨慎。我没有要求你们把它讲出来，或者写下来，因为有时做这些事情是很危险的或者是不可能的。真相具有冒犯和伤害的强大能力，而且你会发现，你距离某人越近，你越需要伪装自己甚至隐藏真相。往往，逃避某事或者模棱两可都会给自己带来很大的好处，这需要很高超的技巧，任何小孩都可以不假思索地说出真相，不考虑任何后果，只有相当成熟的人才会领会到沉默的价值。
为了对真相保持谨慎的态度，你必须第一个知道真相是什么，这就要求你要对自己非常坦诚，永远不要愚弄镜子里面的那个人。
我已经告诉你，你的人生已经终止，你不应该去工作，而且你应该避免说实话，现在我要告诉你：做一个让别人憎恨的人。
成为一个让别人憎恨的人
它并没有听上去那么简单，你知道有谁憎恨你吗？到目前为止，每一个对人类发展做出贡献的大人物都被憎恨过，不仅仅是被一个人憎恨，往往遭到很多人的厌恶。这种憎恨是如此强大，以至于它造成很多大人物躲避人世、被虐待、被谋杀，有一个著名的案例是，他被钉子钉入十字架。
你不用让自己变得邪恶来让别人憎恨，事实上，恰恰是当一个人尝试坚持自己的信念去做正确的事时，往往更容易被人憎恨。被别人喜欢简直太容易做到，这种人只是在适应，而且没有自己坚持的强大信念，他就会受引力作用靠近中心然后慢慢落入平均值，那不是你的使命。这个世界上有很多坏人，如果你无法和他们对立，你自己便会成为坏人。受欢迎是一个非常明确的信号说明你正在做错的事情。
爱别人
这句话的对立意思是：坠入爱河。
我的意思不是“被爱”，那需要太多的妥协。如果一个人改变他的相貌、个性和价值观，这个人会被任何人爱。
当然了，我劝告你去爱别人，由我来告诉你这件事似乎很奇怪，你可能期望这件事能顺其自然地发生，不需要任何深思熟虑，那是假的。现代社会是抵制爱的，我们都带着显微镜去观察每个人的瑕疵和缺点。相对而言，找到一个原因不爱别人就会变得特别容易，拒绝这种情况发生只需要一个理由，爱需要完全的接受，这是一项艰难的工作——我发现的唯一让人愉快的工作。
爱别人有很多好处，其中有赞美、学问、魅力和一些能让我们变得更好的东西，我们叫它幸福。爱别人的同时，在各个方面我们会被激发成为更好的自己。我们了解物质的渺小，我们庆幸自己是人类，爱对于灵魂来说是一件好事。
因此，爱别人是非常重要的，选择一个正确的人去爱也很重要。尽管根据通俗文化，在一个拥挤的舞池里，乍一看，爱不会偶然发生。爱缓慢地生长着，在抽枝和开花之前，它会先扎根。爱不是愚蠢的杂草，而是能抵御每一场风暴的健壮大树。
你将会发现，当你有了可以爱的人，他的头脑比脸蛋显得更为重要，同时，心灵比身体更为重要。
你还会发现，如果你的爱没有回应，也不是什么大不了的事，你不是为了被爱而去爱别人，爱的价值在于唤醒你自己。
最终，你会发现，当你在爱别人的时候，不会存在权宜之计，你要么不去爱，要么完整地、彻底地用你身体每一个细胞去爱，毫无保留甚至毫无悔恨。它会消耗你，而你会得到重生，并且因此会成为最好的自己。
不要工作，避免讲实话，成为让别人憎恨的人，爱别人。
be hated and love someone
赤束花
Don’t work. Be hated. Love someone.
This witty yet piercing commencement speech is one of my favorite reads. It resonates deeply with me as I am about to graduate from college. I'd like to share it with you guys as I hope that not only new grads, but everyone else can benefit from it, too.
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
Don't Work
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
Be Hated
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
Love Another Humanbeing
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
我必须感谢Wee Kim Wee学校的全体教工和工作人员邀请我在交流与信息会上发言。没有任何对矛盾、诽谤和报复的恐惧站在这里演讲10分钟对我来说，是一项极大的荣誉和特权。我以一个或者更多新加坡人及一个丈夫的名义发言。
我的夫人是一个了不起的人，她在每个方面都很完美，除了一点。她是一个杂志的编辑，她以纠正人们作为生计。她用了25年磨炼她的专业技能，而大部分是通过我和她之间在家里的对话来训练的。
另一方面，我是一名诉讼律师，而本质上，我的工作就是要告诉人们他们错在哪里，我以让自己变得让人厌恶为生。
然而，我的婚姻家庭却十分和谐。那是因为当一个编辑和律师产生争论时，赢的永远是我妻子。
所以，我想以给男人们一条忠告来开始我今天的演讲：当你已经赢得她的心，你就不需要再去赢得每一场争论。
婚姻被认为是人生的一个里程碑。你们有些人可能已经结婚，有的可能永远也不会结婚，也有马上要结婚的。有些人会非常享受这段经历，你会结很多很多次婚，上帝保佑你。
在你的一生中另一个大的里程碑则是今天：你的毕业典礼，受教育的终止，你已经完成了学业。
你可能一直在接收一个巨大的谎言“学无止境”，因此你会继续学业，来取得硕士、博士学位或者做到教授级别。你知道是哪一类人告诉你这些的吗？是老师。难道你不觉得这里存在一些利益冲突吗？毕竟他们以教书为生，如果没有你们，他们该怎么办？他们需要你们去做那些重复的消费者。
好消息是他们错了，坏消息则是你不需要再深造了，因为你整个人生都已经结束，一切都已尘埃落定。对你们有些人来说，这可能是一个惊吓。你现在正是青少年或者20岁左右，人们可能会告诉你，你会活到70、80、90岁，这就是你的平均寿命。
我喜欢这个术语：平均寿命。我们都理解这个术语的意思，即一群人的平均寿命。但是在这里，我想讨论一个更大的观点：你对你的人生怀揣着什么希望。
了解到新加坡人的平均寿命很高，在全世界排名第三，你会很高兴。我们排在安道尔共和国和日本之后，和圣马力诺排名一致。这看似非常清楚，为什么这些国家以及我们国家的人们寿命如此之长。我们都有一个共同点：我们的足球队都让人非常失望。我们中的任何一个市民在观看世界杯比赛时脉搏不会加快，所以危险很小。观看者们更容易变得安静，打一个温柔安静的小盹。新加坡人的平均寿命是81.8岁，其中男性的平均寿命为79.21岁，与此同时，新加坡的女性则会多活五年，可能是因为要用这五年抵消在卫生间里度过的额外时间。
所以在你20岁时，你会想我还有四十年的活头，有四个十年让我活得长，变得强盛。
坏消息是，请你看看报纸，有很多人在50、40、30岁时意外身亡，或者可能刚刚完成他们的毕业典礼，他们并没有活到平均寿命，这让他们很失望。在这，我想告诉你们，忘记那些平均寿命，毕竟它只是计算出来的平均值，而且你永远都不会期望自己变成那个平均值。
重新审视那些期望，你可能希望自己去工作、坠入爱河、结婚、供养家庭。你被告知，作为一个毕业生，你应该努力去找一个高薪的工作，因为你的时间如此之多，你肩负着怎样艰巨的责任，这就是别人期待的你，如果你为此而活，你的人生将是一个彻底的悲剧。
如果你期待那样，你就会将自己限制其中，你就会依靠那些由平庸的人所设定的规则来生活，我不是反对那些生活在“平均线上的”人们，但是人们不应该渴望成为他们，而且你不需要让自己最好的心灵在新加坡通过多年的教育变成那个平均值。
你应该为突破困境而做准备，人生就是一场困境，你没有资格期望从中得到什么，生命是不公平的，所有的事到最终都不会平衡。生命发生过，但是你没有掌控它的能力，好事坏事都发生在你身上，每天每小时每一瞬间，在对抗命运时，你的学位只是一个薄弱的盔甲。
不要期待任何事，抹掉生命中所有的期望，只是去活着。自今天起，你的人生已经结束，生命到了这一刻，你已经长到了你能达到的最高高度，在生理上你已经达到整个人生的最佳状态，而且这也有可能是你最好看的时候，这一刻你的生命好到无以复加，此刻以后，你的人生走下坡路还是上坡路，没有人知道。
这对你来说意味着什么呢？你的生命已经结束这是一件好事，因为你的人生已经终结，你自由了。让我来告诉你，当你获得自由之后，你可以做的很多美妙的事情。
不要工作
最重要的是:不要工作。工作即那些你被迫去做的事情，因为工作本身的性质你会觉得很痛苦。因工作劳累而死，在日本有一个术语“Karoshi”，即因工作过度劳累而死，工作如何能置人于死地，这是最戏剧化的部分，但是它也可以以更微妙的方式杀死你。如果你没日没夜、每分每秒都在工作，你的灵魂将会干涸，变得不完整，直到它被彻底瓦解。就像一块石头最终被粉碎成沙砾和尘埃。
这里有一个很普遍、错误的观点，那就是工作是必须的，你会看到人们在干一份很痛苦的工作，他们告诉你，他们在“谋生”，不，他们不是，他们在死去，在一点点得浪费他们稍纵即逝的生命，这样的行为说好听的是没有意义的，往坏处说是有害的。
人们会告诉你，工作使人高贵，工作将带给你足够的尊严，工作使你自由。有一个标语“劳动带来自由”被贴在很多纳粹集中营的路口处，这完全是胡说八道。
不要浪费你生命中绝大部分时间，去做那些让你感到厌恶的事情，以至于你能留给自己稍微舒服的时间只有一丁点，而你将可能永远都不会触摸到那一点点的舒适感。
抵制住得到一份工作的诱惑，相反，去玩吧，去找一些你喜欢做的事情，去做，不停地做，反复地做。由于以下两个原因，你会成为这个领域的佼佼者：你喜欢它，而且你经常去做这件事，不久，这件事本身的价值就会体现出来。
我喜欢争论，我热爱语言，所以我成为了一名诉讼律师。我享受它，我愿意免费做这件事情，如果我不做这份工作，我将仍然投身于与写作相关的那一类工作中——可能是一名体育记者。
所以，你应该做什么？你将会找到属于你的那份工作，在这份工作中，我能想象得出你将不需要看上去那么拼命，在你人生当中的这段时间，你将非常清楚你要干什么，并且知道要怎么干。
事实上，更进一步的说，理想的情况会是你将不会阻止自己去追求激情，这一次你应该知道你的困扰是什么，如果你很享受展示你的知识及被尊重的感觉，你可以成为一名老师。
找到那个激励你、消耗你的追求，否则它就会变成一个困扰。你必须每天让自己充满激情，精力旺盛，如果不这样，你就是在工作。
你们中的大多数人都会死在涉及交流的活动中，对于这些人，我给你们第二条忠告：面对真相，请保持谨慎。我没有要求你们把它讲出来，或者写下来，因为有时做这些事情是很危险的或者是不可能的。真相具有冒犯和伤害的强大能力，而且你会发现，你距离某人越近，你越需要伪装自己甚至隐藏真相。往往，逃避某事或者模棱两可都会给自己带来很大的好处，这需要很高超的技巧，任何小孩都可以不假思索地说出真相，不考虑任何后果，只有相当成熟的人才会领会到沉默的价值。
为了对真相保持谨慎的态度，你必须第一个知道真相是什么，这就要求你要对自己非常坦诚，永远不要愚弄镜子里面的那个人。
我已经告诉你，你的人生已经终止，你不应该去工作，而且你应该避免说实话，现在我要告诉你：做一个让别人憎恨的人。
成为一个让别人憎恨的人
它并没有听上去那么简单，你知道有谁憎恨你吗？到目前为止，每一个对人类发展做出贡献的大人物都被憎恨过，不仅仅是被一个人憎恨，往往遭到很多人的厌恶。这种憎恨是如此强大，以至于它造成很多大人物躲避人世、被虐待、被谋杀，有一个著名的案例是，他被钉子钉入十字架。
你不用让自己变得邪恶来让别人憎恨，事实上，恰恰是当一个人尝试坚持自己的信念去做正确的事时，往往更容易被人憎恨。被别人喜欢简直太容易做到，这种人只是在适应，而且没有自己坚持的强大信念，他就会受引力作用靠近中心然后慢慢落入平均值，那不是你的使命。这个世界上有很多坏人，如果你无法和他们对立，你自己便会成为坏人。受欢迎是一个非常明确的信号说明你正在做错的事情。
爱别人
这句话的对立意思是：坠入爱河。
我的意思不是“被爱”，那需要太多的妥协。如果一个人改变他的相貌、个性和价值观，这个人会被任何人爱。
当然了，我劝告你去爱别人，由我来告诉你这件事似乎很奇怪，你可能期望这件事能顺其自然地发生，不需要任何深思熟虑，那是假的。现代社会是抵制爱的，我们都带着显微镜去观察每个人的瑕疵和缺点。相对而言，找到一个原因不爱别人就会变得特别容易，拒绝这种情况发生只需要一个理由，爱需要完全的接受，这是一项艰难的工作——我发现的唯一让人愉快的工作。
爱别人有很多好处，其中有赞美、学问、魅力和一些能让我们变得更好的东西，我们叫它幸福。爱别人的同时，在各个方面我们会被激发成为更好的自己。我们了解物质的渺小，我们庆幸自己是人类，爱对于灵魂来说是一件好事。
因此，爱别人是非常重要的，选择一个正确的人去爱也很重要。尽管根据通俗文化，在一个拥挤的舞池里，乍一看，爱不会偶然发生。爱缓慢地生长着，在抽枝和开花之前，它会先扎根。爱不是愚蠢的杂草，而是能抵御每一场风暴的健壮大树。
你将会发现，当你有了可以爱的人，他的头脑比脸蛋显得更为重要，同时，心灵比身体更为重要。
你还会发现，如果你的爱没有回应，也不是什么大不了的事，你不是为了被爱而去爱别人，爱的价值在于唤醒你自己。
最终，你会发现，当你在爱别人的时候，不会存在权宜之计，你要么不去爱，要么完整地、彻底地用你身体每一个细胞去爱，毫无保留甚至毫无悔恨。它会消耗你，而你会得到重生，并且因此会成为最好的自己。
不要工作，避免讲实话，成为让别人憎恨的人，爱别人。
be hated and love someone
赤束花
Don’t work. Be hated. Love someone.
This witty yet piercing commencement speech is one of my favorite reads. It resonates deeply with me as I am about to graduate from college. I'd like to share it with you guys as I hope that not only new grads, but everyone else can benefit from it, too.
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
Don't Work
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
Be Hated
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
Love Another Humanbeing
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
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