如意令

sometimes i could not, absolutely could not help being so mean, i almost wanted to give up, but God has been so patient and kind and merciful to me, i should never give up, i should continue to fight against Satan and the sinful self every moment, i hope God will continue to help me, and that Sie could continue to pray for me, Danke, my darling.
God is so forgiving to me, and I ought to be forgiving as well.
if i improve myself and become a better me, would God take me home then?
i am guilty. i feel extremely sorry to my parents.
i see no hope, i have no future, i just want to go home. do Sie know my anxiety? i am unable to make money, could not bring honor to my parents, could not restore my dignity, could not buy gifts for my benefactors. what may i do now???
Satan always interrupts my singing, Sie already know this, sigh...
if Sie add heavy cream to the hot chocolate, it'll be tastier, do Sie want to try it now, or Sie will wait for me to make it for Sie?
it is horrible, this exercise is horrible, 搏命, exactly.