沉默的晚安

                
                
晚安，简单的两个字，饱含着不为人知的情感。
有点像省略号，是沉默中的另有深意。
这是儿时睡觉前长辈在我耳边轻轻说的话，这话有时候会是英语的，一句中文式发音的goodnight，我始终相信这是家中长者所会的为数不多的几个单词之一。这不标准的发音，听来，却总是让人倍感安心。
那玩笑似的相互问答，“睡着了吗？”“——睡着了。”又让听厌了故事的人睡前的心情变的愉快。夏季，那曾在枕边为我轻摇扇子的人，也已减慢了呼吸，不知去向，可那同我安睡的微笑面庞，依然岁月常新。让人难以忘记。
后来，开始学着自己睡觉，独立的房间，一张单人床，一个人走进来和我道声晚安，我立刻准备好与黑暗共存，等那道晚安的人走远了，回去忙自己的事情，我适应了黑暗的眼睛就会盯住那扇敞开的门，从那里射入的外面房间的光亮，减轻了我的不安。耳边还能听见被调小的电视机声，低声交谈的分贝。合上双眼，我就会自己进入梦乡。
晚安，说给最亲近的人，代表一种关心，也是一种古老的礼貌，真诚的祝福。
有句话写道“对你说的晚安，是梦里相见的暗号”，且不说是否能有梦境，如此甜美动人的文字，流露出的是作者于世间希望的温暖。说一句晚安，用最朴实无华的话语代表“我”还在，这个时间，这个空间，相同维度里，距离可近可远，至少情感尚存。
长大后，家中已不再有人向我问候一句晚安，我也学着慢慢习惯。印象中，唯有母亲大人偶尔在帮忙关灯时说上这样一句，可惜当时已是睡眼朦胧，总是没有作声就在床上慢慢睡着。从小到大，床铺还是从前的那张，只是其上的人已经不再是从前的孩童。灯光、日光轮流洒落在床沿，读书、游戏、音乐、谈论⋯⋯种种过往，最终都凝聚于时光。
打字时不要打“晚安”，要打“wan an”，这就不仅是晚安了。
夜深了，拉开窗帘，打开窗户，感受夏风随之而入，看看这城市街道旁、楼宇中忽明忽暗的灯火，听听远方的汽车轰鸣而过的声响。换一个世纪与图景，换一种方式的语言与晚安。抬头望着无际的夜空。漆黑中，一切都在，宇宙的奥秘，未知的幻象。
晚——太阳落了的时候。安——平静、稳定。
谁去体会那文字的分量，和描写景物的诗词一起变成倒映在心底的半个月亮。
幻化成那一句无声的、沉默的晚安。
附：
I SAID MY PAJAMAS (AND PUT ON MY PRAY'RS)
(Eddie Pola / George Wyle)
Doris Day - 1950
Tony Martin & Fran Warren - 1950
My ba-by kissed me good-night, and I am glad to relate
that by the time I got home, I was feeling great
I climbed up the door and o-pened the stairs.
I said my pajamas and put on my pray'rs.
I turned off the bed and crawled into the light.
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
Next morning, I woke and scrambled my shoes.
I shined up an egg, then I toasted the news,
I buttered my tie and took another bite.
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
By evening I felt normal, so we went out again.
You said, "Goodnight," and kissed me.
I hurried home and then,
I climbed up the door and opened the stairs.
I said my pajamas and put on my prayr's.
I turned off the bed and crawled into the light,
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
I powdered my hair and pinned up my nose.
I hung up the bath and I turned on my clothes.
I put out the clock and wound the cat up tight,
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
I ran up the shade and pulled down the stair.
I curled up the rug and I vacuumed my hair.
I just couldn't tell my left foot from my right,
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
By evening I felt normal, so we went out again.
You said, "Goodnight," and kissed me.
I hurried home and then,
I lifted the preach'r and called up the phone.
I spoke to the dog and I threw your Ma a bone.
'Twas mid-night and yet, the sun was shining bright.
and all because you kissed me (Kiss) goodnight.
(Contributed by Bette Carl - February 2003)
(Additional info by Bruce R. Gilson - November 2004)
在幻想中沉睡，在梦境中体会所有的一去不返。