excerpt of The Joy of Gay Sex

Considered Completely Safe
Mutual masturbation
Hugging
Body rubbing
Massage
Dry kissing
S/M if without bleeding or bruising
Sex toys used only on self
Considered Possibly Safe
Anal intercourse with a condom
Wet kissing
Sucking, but stopping before climax
External water sports (no swallowing)
Fisting (with latex gloves)
Considered Unsafe
Swallowing semen
Anal intercourse without a condom
Water sports in mouth or on skin with sores
Sharing IV needles
Sharing enema equipment or sex toys
Rimming
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   Bacterial STDs
   Bacteria are everywhere in the world around us and are believed to live in the most hostile environments—beneath the sea at the Mid-Altantic Ridge, where hot lava geysers out of the earth at boiling temperatures, under antarctic ice, within dust molecules in the upper atmosphere, and even inside rock miles deep beneath the earth.Some biologists believe that bacteria constitute the largest and oldest body of life on earth. It’s impossible to avoid bacteria in daily life, and some bacteria are needed by the body to function, in your digestive tract for example, where they help digest food.Bacteria reproduce by themselves and only a relatively few (given their enormous number) are harmful to humans. Your blood generally produces white blood cells to fight off hostile bacterial invaders. Some potent ones, however, gang up and get the
upper hand; that’s when you get sick. Among the most common sexually transmitted
bacteria are:
   Gonorrhea. Commonly called the clap, after Mother Clap, who ran a bawdy
house for homosexual men in Holborn, a section of London. Thirty to forty men anight were entertained there until one day in 1726, she was charged with keeping a “sodomitical house.” (The term homosexual wasn’t coined until 1869.) The poor lady was fined, pilloried, and sentenced to two years of hard labor. We don’t know if she survived.
   Clap is a major health problem in gay men. About 15 percent of men who get gonorrhea in the penis do not develop symptoms, and even those who do may not see them for two weeks. That makes detection difficult. Carriers without symptoms can transmit the disease without knowing it. Therefore, men who practice unsafe sex should have a routine STD checkup every six months (every three months if you’re still being a slut), which means an anal, penile, and throat smear, and a urinalysis for clap (and a blood test for syphilis while you’re at it). A blood test alone will not diagnose gonorrhea. Even if you have regular checkups, you can unwittingly infect an awful lot of people before you discover you have the clap. Called Neisseria gonorrhoeae (a gram-negative diplococcus, for those who care), the bacteria prefer a warm, moist environment like your cock, rectum, and throat.
   You can get clap in the cock by getting a blow job from someone whose mouth is infected—or you can get it in the mouth or throat by sucking someone with an infected dick. Symptoms normally appear between twenty-four hours and five days after exposure. The chief symptoms are a discharge of thick, creamy pus and burning during urination. The pus is produced when bacteria invade the cells that line the urethra (the canal that carries urine). By milking down your cock, you can see the earliest signs of pus. You should also check your underwear; the dried pus will make the pouch of your underwear stiff. Some sexually active gay men never undress with a trick with the lights off. They quietly take down the trick’s underwear in the light (in a sexy way) and check his dick for a discharge. If they find it, the trick goes packing. He shouldn’t be having sex while he’s infectious. This procedure needn’t be clinical—use your imagination! If,however, you delay treatment, the infection will spread up the urethra and into your prostate—which will really fuck you up.
   You can develop the clap in the ass if someone with gonorrhea fucks you without a condom. Symptoms are usually slower to show up in the rectum (if they develop at all), and detection is certain only if your doctor looks at a smear under a microscope or cultures the bacteria in a laboratory. The symptoms you might notice are rectal fullness (feeling as if you have to crap), pain, frequent farting, rectal bleeding, hemorrhoids, pus or blood in the stool, diarrhea,constipation, and sometimes an inability to piss. This urinary retention is brought about when bladder nerves are infected by gonorrhea. (The symptoms don’t necessarily mean you have gonorrhea. Only a test can determine this.) But be forewarned: You may not have symptoms at all, or you can have clap in both your cock and your ass, but because you can feel the symptoms in your cock more clearly, you might not notice what’s happening in your butt.
   If your doctor is heterosexual or unfamiliar with gay health problems, get over your shyness and tell him that you need to be regularly tested in the rectum. Don’t be ret-icent about asking for an anal smear. Some straight physicians are embarrassed about asking. If your doctor refuses to do an anal smear, walk out, don’t pay the bill, and get a new doctor.
   Gay men also contract gonorrhea in the throat. Symptoms are often absent, but when present are a sore throat, a cough, respiratory congestion, and other coldlike disturbances. Sometimes the glands under the jaw swell. Clap in the throat is less frequent than clap in the penis and anus, but then again it depends upon your sexual behavior—what you do and with whom.
   Gonorrhea should be treated immediately. If it is not treated, the acute symptoms will go away after about six months, but the disease may lead to arthritis, pericarditis (inflammation of the sac around the heart), or emphysema. Medical authorities have also learned that men with clap are at an increased risk for getting infected (and infecting others) with HIV.
   Your physician, of course, must confirm all these suggestions. He alone can prescribe treatment, though you should insist that he take a “cure culture” after treatment. That means testing you again for the disease to be certain that you are cured.
   Don’t even think about telling your lover (should you infect him) that you picked up the clap (or any of the following STDs) from kissing an “old flame,” sitting on a toilet seat at work, using a “dirty” towel at the gym, or drinking from a “greasy” water cup. This kind of bacteria needs a constant supply of carbon dioxide and die seconds after exposure to air. In any event, your boyfriend won’t believe your bullshit and you’ll be correctly accused of both tricking and lying. This will cost you at least ten sessions of couple therapy, lectures about double betrayal, and a bill of particulars about your tawdry behavior going back to childhood. Pony up to your infidelity, take your punishment, and don’t lie.
   Syphilis.The first recorded outbreak of the disease appeared in 1494 among French soldiers stationed in Naples. At that time the mortality rate was virtually 100 percent. Everyone in Europe blamed it on everyone else. The Italians called it the French disease, while the French called it the Neapolitan disease. When it arrived in Turkey, the Turks called it the Christian disease. And the Chinese called it the Portuguese disease. Everyone finally agreed to blame it on Columbus, whose men, it is said, brought it from the New World after being contaminated by the Carib Indians. There’s some recent historical evidence that suggests that Columbus and his men got
a bad rap. Syphilis may already have been in the Old World.
   Treponema pallidum is the name of a corkscrew-shaped bacteria called a spirochete that literally burrows through your skin and into the bloodstream. It is most usually transmitted through anal sex, although a much smaller percentage has been known to get it through oral sex. The first symptom of syphilis is a red sore called a chancre (about the size of a pea), though this sore does not always appear. The skin breaks open to reveal the chancre, which may soon be covered by a yellow or gray scab. It is painless and does not easily bleed, although it may be painful in the butt.Syphilis is highly contagious at this stage. Left untreated, the chancre heals by itself in a few weeks; unfortunately, the disease continues to develop. This is the time to get to the doctor because, while syphilis is less common than gonorrhea, it’s more serious.
   The sore, if it appears, can show up as early as ten days after sexual contact but ordinarily occurs about three weeks after infection. Aside from it there are no symptoms, except that lymph nodes often become tender, inflamed, and enlarged to the size of grapes.
   Secondary syphilis starts about four to six weeks after the initial infection. A rash, which does not necessarily itch, breaks out (usually all over the body); it can even appear on the palms and the soles of your feet. The patient has a general feeling of ill health—headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, and fever. Hair sometimes falls out. (Luckily it grows back.) The person is highly contagious; he can transmit syphilis through all the mucous membranes, including those of the mouth and anus. The second set of symptoms will also disappear within a few weeks, but then the illness enters a third, more dangerous stage.
   For several years the untreated disease will be latent in the body. There will probably not be symptoms, though a sore may appear at the site of the original infection after a year or two. Once a year has passed, the patient is no longer infectious. Some advanced cases will move on to tertiary syphilis. There are three kinds: One, benign, is characterized by the development of large lesions in and on the body; the second, cardiovascular syphilis, often ends in death from heart failure. The third kind, general paresis, leads to the deterioration of the central nervous system and psychosis. This stage is usually reached ten to twenty years after the initial infection. Fortunately, with the discovery of penicillin in 1943, there are few cases of tertiary syphilis.
   Although syphilis can be cured easily if it’s caught in its early stages, probably more than fifty thousand gay men contract syphilis each year. A blood test for syphilis is usually negative during the first four or five weeks of the infection, but it then turns positive. Blood tests are not always reliable for early syphilis infection, so if you have disturbing symptoms, have a second test even if the results of the first were negative.The treatment for early syphilis is a large dose of penicillin, though other antibiotics are used for people allergic to this drug. And don’t forget follow-up blood tests. The presence of the HIV usually complicates the treatment of syphilis (see HIV Disease).
   Prostatitis and Urethritis Prostatitis is a bacterial infection of the prostate gland that may result in its becoming enlarged or inflamed. The prostate is a gland lying next to the urethra. It squirts a fluid into the urethra when you come that mixes with sperm traveling up from your balls (see Male Sexual Response). Strictly speaking, prostatitis is not a problem that is sexually transmitted, but sometimes bacteria that enter the urethral canal during anal sex can work their way into the prostate and cause infection. Symptoms of prostatitis are burning in the urethra during urinationand more frequent urination than usual. An erection is not painful, but sometimes ejaculation hurts. Pain is occasionally felt in or behind the balls, and once in a while specks of blood show up in the semen or urine. Inflammation of the prostate gland can also be a side effect of penile gonorrhea. A more frequent cause, however, is occasional bursts of sexual activity followed by regular periods of inactivity. Yet another cause is delayed ejaculation (“blue balls”). If you have an enlarged prostate, your doctor may recommend that you not get fucked until the swelling is reduced. To compensate for avoiding sex, he may suggest that you jerk off frequently, which may help your prostate condition.
   The major cause of nongonococcal urethritis (an inflammation not caused by gonorrhea of the cells that line the urethra) is chlamydia. Chlamydia is the number one STD among heterosexuals, and so it can be spread to those gays who have sex with straight men. It’s far less common in the gay community. About 60 percent of all the cases of an inflamed urethral canal are called nonspecific urethritis (NSU), which merely means that doctors don’t know what the hell is causing it. It may be caused by chlamydia. The incubation period is one to five weeks. Chlamydia is hard to culture, so most doctors will treat it if they find white blood cells in your discharge. The primary symptoms of this very contagious disease are burning of the urethra during urination, and a discharge (usually clear). Vigorous sexual activity (such as fucking a trick like there’s no tomorrow) can also cause abrasion of the penis that may lead to urethritis. Perfumed soaps and bubble baths can also cause urethral irritations. If you have a discharge of any sort, see your doctor and alert your partner.
   Epididymitis The epididymis is a set of coiled tubes toward the back of and above each of your balls that store sperm. You can feel them easily with your hands. Urethritis, if not treated, may spread down to the epididymides and infect them. They become tender and swollen. If still not treated, the infection will redden your scrotum and infect your balls. You will have frequent discharges, painful pissing, and your balls will swell and hurt like hell.
   Viral STDs
   Unlike bacteria, a virus cannot reproduce by itself; it must invade a living cell to multiply. When a virus enters your body, generally through a break or pore opening in your skin, it moves in quickly. Your immune system creates T cells to attack it, but men with compromised immune systems may not be able to produce enough T cells to kill the virus. Therefore, AIDS patients may be either more susceptible to viral infections and/or suffer a more serious illness.
   Hepatitis. This serious liver disease is widespread in the gay community. It iscommunicated in many ways—by kissing, by contact with any of the mucous mem-branes, by eating infected shellfish, by rimming (fecal/oral transmission), by infected semen (introduced orally or anally), and through transfusions of infected blood. There are several types of hepatitis: infectious (now called Type A); serum (Type B); and Type C, which is similar to Type B. Symptomatically they are all similar. Type B is the one that is spread sexually, but they are all highly contagious.
   If you have hepatitis, you must be careful not to infect other household members. No kissing—of any kind. Keep separate dishes and wash them thoroughly. Since hepatitis is transmitted by feces (shit), you should wash your hands after every bowel movement.
   The virus infects the liver. The early symptoms resemble the flu—severe muscle aches and pains, fatigue, fever, nausea, and at times vomiting. Sometimes a rash breaks out as well. Soon these symptoms disappear and you become extremely fatigued. Your urine turns mahogany brown and your shit becomes gray-white. Smokers lose their taste for cigarettes. Nausea and nearly complete loss of appetite occur; then your eyeballs and skin turn yellow (this is called jaundice). By this time, the worst is over, although you certainly won’t look or feel your best. You may even have trouble getting out of bed.
   Hepatitis A is generally spread by feces that enter your mouth either through rimming someone or through food you eat if a food preparer hasn’t washed his hands properly after crapping. Shellfish can pick up the virus in contaminated water. Salads are a common transmitter if washed in contaminated water. The incubation period is two to six weeks, and during this time you are infectious. The disease runs its course by two months, and your liver generally recovers completely. But alcoholics, whose liver may already be damaged, may have a more difficult time with the disease; cirrhosis may occur.
   Hepatitis Types B and C are similar. Type B is often called the gay hepatitis because it is often contracted while tricking, particularly in gay men who are fond of rimming. The incubation period for Types B and C is three weeks to ninety days. Hepatitis B and C can be lethal in HIV patients. Statistics also show that 90 percent of AIDS patients who contract hepatitis will become chronic sufferers.
   There is no cure for hepatitis, just supportive treatment. You must seek a doctor’s care, and he will probably suggest plenty of rest, eating a bland diet rich in vitamins, and during the acute stage, eliminating all fats (otherwise you’ll become nauseated). He may also want to give you a shot of gamma globulin as a booster. Cut out liquor and recreational drugs for at least six months after you regain your health or you’ll have a relapse, which may be worse than the original disease. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you are cured of the disease when your eye color returns to normal. Take a multiple vitamin daily. In the past, complete bed rest was recommended during the acute stage, but evidence now suggests that moderate exercise is preferable. Discuss this with your physician first. Don’t go to the gym without his permission. You will not be able to work for weeks, and during this period you will sleep more hours than you’re awake. Only in exceptionally severe cases is there reason to be hospitalized; home care is normally adequate. Your lover, roommate, or friends will have to run errands for you. Don’t be a hero; ask for help.
   There is now an effective vaccine for hepatitis A and B, but not for C. If you are sexually active, get the vaccination. Don’t put it off. You can get hepatitis more than once, and a relapse is possible. It is a very serious disease.
   Herpes. Herpes infections are caused by the same virus that causes cold sores. Its source is the herpes zoster virus, which causes the childhood disease chicken pox and the adult disease known as shingles. In sexually active gay men, herpes generally appears in the form of small, clear sores usually seen on the penis, especially just under the foreskin, though they may show up anywhere on the body, including the face.
   Herpes simplex can be transmitted only during sex. Blow jobs, rimming, or merely rubbing your cock against a trick’s ass can transmit it. The incubation period is from two to twenty days, although some cases are asymptomatic for as long as four years. The herpes virus invades the skin, and a burning sensation occurs within a week. A couple of days later, you’ll notice a cluster of small blisters. You are highly contagious at this point. If you touch the blisters, wash your hands, because you can spread it to other parts of your body.
   Afterward the virus enters a “latent phase,” in which it goes into hiding, remaining dormant until it is triggered again. Once herpes goes away, it can come back again suddenly. Subsequent outbreaks are completely unpredictable.
   There is no cure for herpes. There are treatments, based on the drug Zovirax, that can reduce its effect or shorten the time of the outbreak. Don’t have sex while you have these sores, even with a condom, because the condom may not cover all of the sores. You may not be inclined to have sex anyway because the sores often make fucking painful.
   AIDS makes herpes a more serious disease. Kaposi’s sarcoma (KS) may be caused
by a herpes virus called HHV8.
   Venereal Warts. Venereal warts are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), transmitted during sex. It’s as common as herpes and, like it, can recur. It’s estimated that half of HIV-negative men and almost all HIV-positive men carry it. A partner fucking you without a condom or simply rubbing his cock against your ass can transmit it. Dildos and other sex toys can also carry the virus. You can develop a venereal wart on your asshole, ass cheeks, penis, and scrotum—the whole pubic area. Your hands are likely to carry the virus from one part of your body to another, although you will not develop symptoms on your hands themselves.
    Warts are not usually painful, but they can become irritated and make fucking uncomfortable. Appearing as clusters of small, rough granules, they can easily be seen and felt, especially on your asshole or perineum (the skin between your asshole and your balls). They are clusters of small, rough growths. If they are inside your ass, you’ll feel pain, itching, and bleeding after crapping or getting fucked. The incubation period for venereal warts varies from one month to many months.
    If you and a regular lover or partner both have warts, do not resume sex until you both have been cured, or the contagious nature of the warts will lead to continued reinfecting. Lasers are now used to treat warts.
   Larger Critters
   Crabs. These little devils (Pediculosis pubis) are lice that are picked up during sex, either by contact with an infected man’s pubic hair or by using infected sheets and towels. Frottage (pussy bumping) is enough to spread them (see Frottage). They are relatively harmless, though they itch like hell, especially at night. They grow chiefly in the pubic hair, but they have also been found under the arms, around the chest, around the crotch, and between the cheeks of your ass. If ignored, over time they have even been known to go exploring southward from hair to hair on the legs all the way down to the knees. Some idiotic gay men wait until they settle down in their eyebrows or beard. Crabs are different from head lice that nest only on the scalp. (How crabs and head lice know in which direction to march is a mystery.)
   You can see crabs if you look hard enough. They are dark in color and usually live at the base of the hair follicle. You may catch some if you run a fine comb through your pubic hair—they mostly hang upon hair follicles and clutch dead skin—but they’re not gorgeous to look at. You may also notice little blood spots on your underwear.
   The best treatments are liquid preparations called A-200 and Rid, which can be bought in drugstores without a prescription. Your physician, however, may want to prescribe a more powerful treatment called Kwell. All medications come with careful instructions regarding their use. Wash your clothing (including the clothing you wore for the past couple of days), towels, sheets, and underwear in very hot water. Be sure to tell your sex partners to treat themselves for crabs, or you’ll be reinfecting one another for months. Fortunately, crabs do not carry disease.
   
   Parasites. The gay community has been heavily hit by sexually transmitted parasites, which cause gastrointestinal health problems. Doctors should check gay patients routinely for parasites, especially if the patients have bowel complaints.
   Two kinds of parasites have become common among gays (and in many straights): Entamoeba histolytica and Giardia lamblia. Many people who travel to foreign destinations return home with these pests, which entered their bodies through contaminated food and water. Both varieties produce similar symptoms, which can range from no outward signs at all to violent dysentery. In between these extremes are such symptoms as soft stools, abdominal cramps, unusually smelly stools, gas, fatigue, fever and chills, loss of appetite, nausea, occasional vomiting, and a feeling of general malaise.
   Parasites are one of the hazards of rimming, but there are many other intermediate and hard-to-discern methods of transmission (see Rimming). For instance, parasites can be transmitted by sucking someone’s cock during anonymous sex: Your partner may have been fucking someone with parasites just before he met you. Hands are frequent carriers of parasites, particularly when they haven’t been properly washed after shitting.
   Diagnosis is difficult unless you go to a trained parasitologist or your doctor works with a lab technician who knows what to look for. Tropical disease centers are particularly knowledgeable about parasites. Usually a test is made upon a bit of fecal matter. The parasitologist can simply extract a bit of feces from the anus with a Q-tip, put it on a slide, and examine it under the microscope. A wet-stool test, however, is sometimes necessary in hard-to-detect cases. There are effective medications to rid the body of parasites. Treatment lasts from a couple of weeks to a few months. Don’t have sex until your doctor okays it.
   Scabies. Scabies are common among gay men. They are tiny parasites (actually mites called Sarcoptes scabiei) that live just below the surface of the skin, usually around the wrists, but often on the ankles, near the groin, and under the arms. They are itchy, especially at night. They are transmitted by skin contact, but can also be picked up from sheets and towels. If not treated, they will not produce dangerous symptoms, but they will drive you crazy. The preferred treatment is Kwell lotion, which must be prescribed by your doctor. Scabies are highly contagious.
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List of Entries
Anus 1
Barebacking 1
Bars 3
Baths 4
Bears 5
Bisexuality 8
Blow Job 10
Body Decoration 12
Body Fluids and Disease 14
Body Image 15
Bondage and Discipline 17
Booze and Highs 19
Bottom 22
Buns 26
Camping 27
Celibacy 29
Chat Rooms 30
Civil Rights 31
Clubs 34
Cock Size 36
Coming Out 38
Compulsive Sex 42
Condoms 45
Cosmetic (Plastic) Surgery 48
Couples 50
Cruising 55
Daddy/Son Fantasies 58
Dangerous Sex 60
Depression 62
Dirty Talk 65
Domestic Partnerships 67
Domestic Violence 68
Drug Abuse 69
Drugs and Sex 75
Early Abuse 77
Effeminacy 78
Etiquette 79
Exhibitionism and Voyeurism 81
Face-to-Face 82
Feet 85
Fetish 86
Fidelity and Monogamy 88
Finding a Physician 90
First Time 91
Fisting 95
Foreskin 98
Friendship 100
Frottage 101
Fuck Buddies 103
Gay Families 105
Gay Liberation 107
Gay Politics 111
Growing Older 113
Guilt 117
Gyms 118
Hair 120
Hands 121
HIV Disease 122
Homophobia 130
Hustlers 132
Impotence 134
Insurance 137
Jealousy, Envy, and Possessiveness 140
J.O. Buddies 142
J.O. Clubs 142
J.O. Machines 144
Kinky Sex 145
Kissing 147
Letting Go 149
Licking 151
Living Wills 152
Loneliness 153
Lubricants 154
Male Sexual Response 155
Married Men 160
Massage 163
Masturbation and Fantasy 166
Mirrors 170
Mixed HIV Couples 171
Mutual Masturbation 174
Mythic Beginnings 176
Nibbling and Biting 178
Nipples 180
Noisemaking 181
On-line Cruising 182
Open Relationships 185
Out on the Job 186
Parents 190
Phone Sex 193
Pleasure Trap 197
Pornography 198
Problems of Ejaculation 199
Profiles 202
Promiscuity 204
Racism 205
Rape 206
Rear Entry 208
Rejection 210
Relaxation 211
Rimming and Felching 212
Role Playing 214
Sadomasochism 215
Safe Sex 218
Saying No 223
Scat 223
Seduction 224
Sex Ads 225
Sex Clubs 227
Sex Parties 228
Sex Phobia (or Puritanism) 233
Sex Toys 235
Sexual Harassment 238
Sexually Transmitted Diseases 242
Sex with Animals 250
Sex with Straight Men 252
Shaving 253
Side by Side 256
Sit on My Face 256
Sitting on It 260
Sixty-Nining 264
Sleazy Sex 265
Spanking 266
Spirituality 268
Suicide 269
Tearooms and Back Rooms 271
Teenagers 273
Tenderness 278
Three-Ways 279
Top 282
Touching and Holding 284
Trade 287
Transgender 288
Travel 292
Tricking 294
Types 296
Uniforms 297
Vanilla Sex 300
Versatility 301
Water Sports 302
Webcams 304
Web Site 306
Wills 307
Wrestling 310
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