Warhorses of letters 战马的情书 S1E1

Season 1 Episode 1 NARRATOR: A few months ago, a team of historians cataloguing an extraordinary collection of ephemera discovered in the British Museum’s Fort William Warehouse Complex, in a neglected room with the yellowing label, ‘Tat We Shouldn’t Have Bought and Are Now Legally Unable to Get Rid Of’, made an extraordinary find – a packet of letters which casts an extraordinary new light on one of the most extraordinary chapters in our island race’s extraordinary story. We will let these extraordinary epistles speak for themselves. The year is February 1810. 旁白： 几个月前，在大英博物馆的库房的一间被遗忘的打上了黄色标签“当初就不该买如今不能合法处理掉的”房间里，一队历史学家正在对新发现的一套奇特的短期出版物合集做分类登记。他们有了一个卓越的发现——一捆书信，这些信件给予了我们岛国民族卓越历史中的卓越人物们一个卓越的新视角。我们就让这些卓越的篇章自身来证明吧。那一年是1810年二月。 Dear Marengo brackets Napoleon's horse close brackets, 亲爱的马伦戈（拿破仑的马）， I've never written a letter like this before. You probably get hundreds of them and this one might never arrive anyway, because of the wars smiley face, but I would never forgive myself if I didn't send it and so here it is. I have seen pictures of you. You are literally an oil painting. I don't know how you could look so amazing with that dumpy Napoleon on your back. 我之前从来没有写过这样的信。你也许会收到几百封这种信，而这一封说不定根本到不了你那里，因为战火连绵（笑脸），不过我如果不寄出这封信是永远不会原谅自己的，所以就是这样。我看过你的画像【注1】。你就好像一幅油画，说真的。我不知道，驼着那个矮小的拿破仑，你是如何依然看起来如此光彩照人的。 My name is Copenhagen because I am out of Lady Catherine who was in foal with me at the Battle of Copenhagen, which is ironic because I am not a warhorse but you are. I am dark brown and I am by John Bull, out of a mare by the Rutland Arabian, and also by Meteor, who was the son of the mighty Eclipse. You are an Arabian too, aren't you? Maybe we are distant cousins even! That doesn't matter for horses of course. I am only two and you are at least twelve, but that also doesn't matter for horses, as you know. Anyway, people tell me I look older than two. 我的名字是哥本哈根，因为我的母亲凯瑟琳夫人是在哥本哈根战役中生下的我。这很讽刺，因为我并不是一匹战马，而你是。我有着深棕色的皮毛，我母亲的父亲是John Bull,她的母亲则是拉特兰郡阿拉伯马的后代。我的父亲是Meteor，而Meteor是伟大的Eclipse的儿子【注2】。你也是阿拉伯马，对不对？说不定我们还是远亲呢！当然啦，对马来说这无关紧要。我只有两岁而你至少12岁了，不过这依然无所谓，你知道。不管怎样，人们说我看起来比两岁要大一些。 I am a racehorse. It is so lucky that I didn't become a warhorse, or we'd have been mortal enemies, and that would be a nightmare. The word nightmare always makes me think of lady horses that want to seduce me. Lady horses, or mares, are always trying to seduce me. They don't get very far. Maybe you are only interested in lady horses brackets mares close brackets, but when I saw the pictures, my equine gaydar pointed due south wink. 我是一匹赛马。很幸运，我没有成为战马，不然我们就会成为死敌，那简直是噩梦。噩梦这个词让我想起想要引诱我的那些女士们。女士，或者母马们，总是试图引诱我。她们占不到什么便宜。 也许你只对女士（母马）有兴趣，不过当我看到你的画像时，我的同性雷达直指正南（眨眼）。 I hope you reply. 希望你回信。 Love, 爱你 Copenhagen, kiss kiss hoofprint 哥本哈根，亲亲马蹄印 ***** 注1：

Napoleon on Marengo

注2：Copenhagen的血统谱系见维基 ***** Dear Copenhagen, What a rare pleasure to receive a letter from a frisky young thing such as yourself. You are quite mistaken to believe that I am the recipient of many such overtures. The pasture of fame is a lonely one, as very few have the courage to approach an animal of my standing. It is one of the great sadnesses of my position, and I am moved that you have written to break my isolation, and with such rare enthusiasm. I must, however, correct you on a few misapprehensions. 亲爱的哥本哈根， 能够收到像你这样活泼的年轻小家伙的信，这是多么罕有的欢乐啊。你以为我会收到很多这样的表白信，其实是相当大的误解。名利的牧场是冷清孤寂的，因为对处于我这样地位的动物来说，能鼓起勇气前来结识的实在寥寥。这正是我的位置所伴随的一大悲哀。你的来信打破了我的孤独，对于如此罕见的热诚，我深表感动。 尽管如此，我还是需要修正你的几处看法。 You speak with generosity of my appearance, but the pictures do flatter. Most importantly, I am not, in fact, a horse. At 14 hands 1 inch only, I am technically a pony, though I am taller with my mane fluffed up. This has put off suitors in the past and I will understand if you are amongst them. Equally, it is with some pain that I note your reference to my dear Napoleon as "dumpy". He and I are perfectly to scale. Napoleon, I am sure, does not have a fair reputation on the racecourses of Britain — because of the war — but my affection for him could not be greater, indeed I am proudly branded with his initial, and a crown, just above my gaskin. Know that if we are to pursue this correspondence I will never renounce Mr. Napoleon. He has too much need of me. 你对于我的外貌的评价慷慨大方，不过画像确有美化之嫌。最重要的一点是，我事实上并不算是一匹马。我只有14手1尺高，严格意义上说是一匹矮种马，尽管我在鬃毛扬起时显得高一些。这一点在过去曾阻退过追求者，如果你也是如此，我表示理解。 同样地，对于你称我亲爱的拿破仑为”矮小“，我心中也是有所不适。他和我是完美比例的搭配。我确信，因为交战的缘故，拿破仑在不列颠的赛场上名声并不好，然而我对他的爱戴是没有尽头的。事实上，就在我的后小腿上方，烙印着他的首字母和一顶皇冠，让我非常自豪。请记住如果我们的通信要继续下去，我永远不会贬低拿破仑先生。他非常需要我。【注1】 I must admit I am concerned about my master. He should be brimming with happiness and pride. He is the greatest military leader the world has ever seen! But ever since he was excommunicated, he has been moping. He and the Pope were involved in a dispute over who owns Rome. Napoleon told the Pope to go to Paris and the Pope told Napoleon to go to Hell. I do not think that Napoleon would mind Hell so very much, he is the bravest of men, but he needed the Pope to divorce him from that buck-toothed putain Josephine. So he kidnapped the Pope, and the church had a mysterious change of heart and granted the divorce, but now Mr Napoleon does not know what to do with him. It is all a little embarrassing. 我必须承认我为我的主人感到忧虑。他应该洋溢着欢乐和骄傲，他是这世界自古以来最伟大的军事领导家！可是自从被开除教籍以来，他一直闷闷不乐。他和教皇为谁拥有罗马而争论不休。拿破仑让教皇去巴黎，教皇让拿破仑去地狱。我不认为拿破仑会害怕地狱，他是最勇敢的人。不过他需要教皇来批准他和那个烂牙荡妇约瑟芬的离婚。于是他绑架了教皇，教堂进行了某种神秘的意见交换后批准了离婚。可是现在拿破仑先生不知道该拿教皇怎么办好啦。这可有些尴尬。【注2】 Now now, this is all terribly serious, and you a mere lad of two. I do apologise. My dear Copenhagen, I very much hope that none of this causes you to reconsider your regard. I confess I was quite delighted with your letter, and the sentiments within. Your lively manner appeals to me greatly, I cannot say how greatly. And it is with some relief that I note you are a racehorse, as it would be much to my distress were we to meet on opposing sides on the battlefields of Europe. 好啦好啦，这些事真是严肃得可怕，而你又仅仅是一个两岁的小伙子。我表示道歉。我亲爱的哥本哈根，我殷切希望这些不会致使你改变原先的想法。我坦承看到你的信和表达的感情时非常高兴。你活泼的态度极大地取悦了我，其程度我也无法表述。还有，看到你是一匹赛马的确让我有所宽慰，因为若我们会在欧洲战场上敌对的阵营相见的话，我的压力可就大得多了。 With warmth and hope, 致以温暖和希望 Marengo 马伦戈 ***** 注1：

Marengo's brand

注2：教皇庇护七世一直被拿破仑整的很憋屈，所以开除了拿破仑的教籍。拿破仑为了能与约瑟芬离婚也与教皇纠缠许久。教皇一直被软禁。（“被拿破仑欺负的教皇”：http://wtfm.exblog.jp/11710743/） 1810年1月10日 拿破仑离婚。至于约瑟芬的牙齿问题，有说法是她牙齿不齐，再加上大概是当时的卫生条件不好，所以不够美观。putain是法语荡妇的意思，约瑟芬和拿破仑当时已经互相出轨了= =。 这段时间之前拿破仑从半岛战争中脱身出来去奥地利稳定局面，在奥地利遇刺所以想要后代，于是决定和约瑟芬离婚，并开始甄选新的妻子。最后选定了奥地利公主玛丽。 相关背景知识可见维基“半岛战争”，“拿破仑与天主教的关系” ***** Dear Marengo, When I got your letter I was like oh my horsey god. You are amazing with words, I had to use a dictionary for excommunicated. Don’t worry I am not stupid, it’s just I have always had to put book learning second place to my athletic career. Racing is bloody amazing, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, but is a difficult environment to be a gay horse in it is testosterone everywhere you look. Presumably it’s even worse for warhorses. Thank the horsey god, again, that I am not one. 亲爱的马伦戈， 当我收到你的信的时候我不禁要说哦我的马神啊。 你运用词句是如此精美，我需要用字典来查开除教籍这个词。别担心我并不笨，我只是需要把体育事业放在第一位，书本学习放在第二位。比赛超级棒，是我从来想做的事情，不过这个环境对同性恋马来说有点难熬，因为你环顾四周看到的都是雄性激素。我猜对于战马来说情况更甚吧。再一次谢天谢地，我不是战马。 Also, don’t worry, I am not a size queen, smiley face. In fact my first was a pony, he was called Twinkle. He told me that I have a very strong tail which is something gay horses use to do something it would be impossible to describe how nice it is to humans. Horse heaven only knows what tricks you have learnt in all your years of experience, it makes me excited just to think about it. Anyway, you were so honest about your size so I must be totally honest too. However hard I train, which is bloody hard quite frankly, I do not have a great turn of speed. Yesterday, I ran the quarter mile in 30 seconds, like some kind of donkey. All the other horses laughed at me. I’m really stressed about it. 另外，别担心，我才不是只看大小的娘炮，笑脸。 事实上我第一次就是和一匹矮种马，他名叫Twinkle. 他说我有一条强劲有力的尾巴，这话儿对同性恋马儿们的用处可是妙不可言，无法对人类解释清楚。天马才知道你这些年的经验让你学会了什么把戏。我只要想想就会兴奋起来。 不管怎么说，你对于你的体型很坦诚，那么我也要做到诚实以待。不管我多么努力训练，坦白说已经相当苦逼了，我的速度就是无法大幅提升。昨天我跑四分之一英里用了30秒，和驴子差不多。所有其他的马都笑话我。我压力真的很大。 I am a stayer though brackets not just in races wink close brackets and I hope that I will break into longer races after this year when I am officially three, even though I am a young three, because you have to remember that all horses get arbitrarily given the same birthday which is January the first. Oh, wait, you don’t have to remember because you are also a horse. I will not be horrible about Napoleon again. It is not being horrible to him to say that in the pictures of you, he is not the one that makes me have to lie down on cold wet grass or I would have an accident.I hope he is feeling better but I worry that if he is you will have to go to war in the Peninsular. Our top guy there is called Viscount Wellington. My stablemate Thunderclap out of Stormfront by Death to the French -I’m sorry but that’s his name -is obsessed with wars. He’s totally jealous I am called after a battle, actually. He says it is an insult to the memory of the fallen that I am not more patriotic. 不过我耐力很好（不仅仅在跑步中哦眨眼）我希望今年过后，等我三岁了我能够在长途赛跑中有所突破。尽管我是一个年轻的三岁，因为要记住所有的马都被简单粗暴地定在1月1日生日了。哦，你不用记住，因为你也是一匹马。 我不会再说拿破仑的刻薄话了。其实在你的画像里对他说那些也不算刻薄，他又不是让我不得不躺在湿冷的草上冷静一下不然就会发生状况的那个。我希望他心情好起来，不过我担心如果他好起来了你们大概就要去盘尼西林打仗了。我们这儿的头儿叫做威灵顿子爵【1】。我的舍友霹雳风暴前线法国佬去死——对不起他的名字就是这样——是个军事迷。我以一场战役命名大概让他非常嫉妒我。他说我没有更加爱国，这是对牺牲的战士们的侮辱。 Anyway, I used to think Thunderclap was cool because he’s by far the beta horse in our stable, and, as you know, the horse alphabet starts with beta. Thunderclap came second in the 1000 Guineas last year. He finished moments after his half-brother Lightning out of Storm Front by You Canna Change The Laws of Physics, but all he ever does is tease me for being slow. He’s not cool, he’s a bully. The thing is, it is hard to ignore him because he is so bloody beta all the time. He says Wellington is amazing and all the French will be inevitably crushed. I’m scared that you will be hurt. That makes me sound silly, doesn’t it? I bet it does. I’m sorry. Anyway, it was amazing to hear from you, and I am literally pawing the ground with impatience dreaming of your reply. 不管如何，我以前觉得霹雳很酷因为他是我们马厩一直以来的beta，而beta你知道的就是马匹排序的第一位。霹雳去年在1000几尼大赛【2】上获得了第二名。他仅以几分钟之差落后于他的同母兄弟，”闪电风暴前沿你不能改变物理定律“。可是他却总是嘲笑我跑得慢。他不酷，他是个坏蛋。事实是，因为他这么讨人厌地趾高气扬，连无视他都很难。他说威灵顿很出色，所有的法国军队都会无可避免地被击溃。我很害怕你会受伤。我说这话就像个傻瓜，是不是？ 我打赌是的。很抱歉。不管怎样，能收到你的消息真是太好了。我这会儿正没耐心地刨着地面梦想着你的回信。 Love, 爱你， Copenhagen kiss hoofprint kiss kiss 哥本哈根 亲马蹄印亲亲

kiss kiss hoofprint

***** 注1：伊比利亚半岛战役，威灵顿当时率领英军在西班牙联合抗法。当时他还是子爵。 注2：1000几尼大赛，英国传统的大型赛马比赛。名字来源于最早期的奖金。几尼是当时的货币。 ***** Dear Copenhagen, My heart leapt like a foal in springtime when I received your latest. I confess I was filled with apprehension lest news of my, shall we say, vertical limitations, were to prove insurmountable to you, but it would seem you find them quite mountable indeed, so to speak. I blush to write such a thing. It is not my custom to be so forward, but dare I say that you inspire me? 亲爱的哥本哈根， 收到你最近的来信，我的心如同春天的马驹一样欣喜地跃动。我承认我内心一直充满忧惧，唯恐我所袒露的，怎么说呢，受限的高度，将造成你不可跨越的障碍。然而看起来你倒是觉得这高度很适合“跨”上去呢。写这样的话让我脸红。如此直白并不是我的风格，不过我可以说是你激励了我吗？ Thank you for your kind concern regarding Mr Napoleon. I am glad to say that he is in much higher spirits. I am certain that it is because he is spending more time in the saddle. I am working hard to improve Napoleon’s riding. He has an almost total lack of -we call it -“elegance”. I think it is because his centre of gravity is unusually low. But I would rather be poorly ridden and well understood. Of course best of all is to be well-understood and well-ridden, and thus my thoughts turn to your youthful vigour, dear Copenhagen. I expect us to join the peninsular war at any moment. I am taking Spanish lessons in anticipation. Do not worry that I will get hurt; it is the risk, and the glory, of combat. Also I have heard of some excellent bio-oils for reducing the appearance of scar tissue. I would not usually believe in such remedies, but these oils are extracted from snakes. 感谢你对于拿破仑先生的亲切关怀。很高兴他现在情绪好多了。我肯定这是因为他花了更多时间在马鞍上。我在努力提高拿破仑的骑术。他几乎完全没有一点——我们所谓的——“优雅”。我认为原因在于他的重心通常比较低。不过我情愿如此，骑术虽差但是心灵相通。当然了，如果骑术和心灵都能契合那才是最好的。于是我的思绪飘向了青春正盛的你，亲爱的哥本哈根。 我们将随时启程加入半岛战役。我正在学习西班牙语，以作准备。不要担心我会受伤；这是战争的风险，也是战士的荣耀。另外，我听说了一些很好用的生物油，可以减轻疤痕。我通常并不迷信这些偏方，不过这种油是从蛇类提取的。 Napoleon is filled with energy, his compact little body leaping about all over the place. Also, he is more constipated than usual, a sure sign that we will soon be going into battle. Thunderclap out of Stormfront by Death to the French sounds as stupid as his name. In war, there is no prize for coming second. And he is extraordinarily poorly informed. Your British army holds no fears for my Napoleon, who refers to Wellington as “that terrified leopard”. We will push the leopard out from the catflap of Spain! 拿破仑已经精神焕发，他敦实的身影到处跃动闪现。他的便秘比平常也严重了些，这也是一个我们将要上战场的确切信号。 霹雳风暴前线法国佬去死听起来和他的名字一样愚蠢。在战场上，得到第二可没有什么奖。而且他的信息也不确切到了可怜的地步。我的拿破仑毫不惧怕你们英国军队，他称威灵顿为“吓坏了的豹子”。我们会把这小豹子从西班牙的猫洞里赶出去！ But enough war talk. Do not be concerned about your lack of velocity. Such things mean nothing to me. You describe yourself as a ‘stayer’ clearly you are a horse of valour -on the battlefield this would make you a prize indeed. But you are not a warhorse and I can barely imagine the life that you lead, one of sport and play and healthy competition. Pray tell me more of the racecourses of England. To picture your lithe young fetlocks pounding the turf causes me quite the distraction. 战事就不多说了。不要太过于烦恼你速度上的不足，这种事对我无关紧要。你说你自己耐力很好，很显然你是匹勇猛的马——这在战场上倒可能为你赢来奖章。不过你不是一匹战马，而你所经历的生活，那属于体育、竞技和积极向上的拼搏，我也只能想象。请多给我讲讲英格兰的赛场吧。在脑海中构思你柔软的球节踏在草皮上的情景让我很是意乱情迷。 Yours, very distracted indeed, 你的，相当心神不宁、没错、心神不宁的* Marengo 马伦戈 ***** *注：心神不宁当然采用的是高也的词义:) ***** Dear M, The racecourses of England are muddy and wet, and the racehorses of England are shits. I returned to my stable yesterday to find that Thunderclap out of Stormfront by Death to the French had pinned a picture of you covering (the horse word for having sex with) Napoleon and him smiling. I would have been smiling if it was me but I know that’s different. Thunderclap out of Stormfront by Death to the French says that Napoleon is not fighting in the Peninsular War because he is scared. He says that Napoleon is a show pony, and does not have any bottom, the contemporary word for courage and durability. 亲爱的M， 英格兰的赛场湿乎乎的全是泥，英格兰的赛马都是混蛋。昨天我回到马厩，发现霹雳风暴前线法国佬去死在墙上钉了一张漫画，画的是你骑着拿破仑（就是马做爱的那种）而他还在笑。如果那是我，我会笑的，不过我知道这是不一样的。 霹雳说拿破仑不会去打半岛战争的，因为他害怕。他说拿破仑只是匹爱炫耀，没屁股的马——屁股是指勇气和毅力的流行词。 My trainer is still disappointed with me, but I am determined that this will change. The other horses like Thunderclap out of etc. think the kind of horse we are – ie gay -is all flash and no bottom, but I am a stayer not a sprinter. I will show them all my bottom in the end ha ha. I wonder how we will ever meet since I am a race horse and you are a warhorse? Thank god I am not a warhorse though. I can’t repeat that often enough. 我的训练师还是对我很失望，不过我已经下定决心要改变现状了。其他的马像是霹雳什么什么，觉得我们这种马——就是gay——浅薄、爱现又没有屁股（没种）。不过我不是短跑型的，我是长途马！我最终会让他们看到老子的屁股的，哈-哈！ 我在想既然你是战马而我是赛马，我们到底是否有可能相遇？还是要感谢老天我不是战马。说了很多次了，但我依然要强调。 Impatiently, 急不可耐 Copenhagen 哥本哈根 ***** Dear Copenhagen, So it turns out that those Spanish lessons were a complete waste of time. We are not going to the peninsula. I have written to Castanet, Don Miguel Ricardo de Alvara y Esquivel’s reserve saddle horse, cancelling the rest of our sessions. Ay carumba! Which is Spanish for zut alors! I doubt I will ever leave the Tuileries again. Napoleon has sent Andre Massena to fight the war in Spain in his place. He said “keep an eye on things for me” which annoyed Massena greatly, because he only has one eye: Napoleon shot the other one out by mistake. As for Napoleon, on those rare occasions that he gets out of the bath, he comes to my stable and scratches me behind the ears, saying I am a good old boy. Old! I am not ready for dog meat yet. But I suppose you racehorses know all about premature decrepitude. Perhaps you even have certain secret techniques or remedies to extend your vitality. These would be of no relevance to me, of course, but the subject interests me. On an academic level. 亲爱的哥本哈根， 到头来，那些西班牙语课程全是在浪费时间。我们不会去半岛了。我已写信给唐•米格尔•里卡多•阿拉瓦［1］的备用战马卡斯特，取消剩余的课程。Ay Carumba! 这是西班牙语，就是zut alors（法语）见鬼！我怀疑自己是否还能离开杜伊勒里宫［2］。拿破仑派遣安德烈•马塞纳［3］去西班牙替他作战。他说“替我看着点”，这让马塞纳相当不爽，因为他只有一只眼睛了：拿破仑以前不小心射中了另一只。至于拿破仑，在某些很难得的时刻，洗完澡的他来到我的马厩，搔着我的耳后，说着我是个好老伙计。老！我还没准备变成狗食呢。不过我猜你们赛马对于过早衰老这回事肯定很了解。也许你们还有一些特别的秘方来延长生命力吧。这些当然和我没有什么关系，我只是对这个课题感兴趣，学术层面的。 You and your bottom should not give Thunderclap another thought. With his doctored pictures and his jibes he is certainly paying you plenty of attention. I believe that he is envious of our correspondence – a sentiment I abhor. What does he look like? 你和你的屁股都不应该再理会霹雳一分一毫。他很显然是在用低劣的图片和嘲讽来表现对你的关注。我相信他是在嫉妒我们之间的交往——这种情感令我厌恶。他长什么样子？ Vigorously, 健壮的 Marengo 马伦戈 ***** 注1 西班牙海军副官，作为西班牙代表跟随威灵顿的军队在半岛对法军作战。 注2 当时拿破仑在法国巴黎居住的皇宫。凡尔赛宫在大革命后已经失修，卢浮宫作为博物馆（不过拿破仑的婚礼的确在卢浮宫举行） 注3 拿破仑麾下能将之一，帝国元帅。 ***** Dear M, I thought that your letter was really open, and I was honoured you were able to confide your insecurities in me. I think it is an important moment in our relationship. My insecurities are about racing. I ran yesterday, for the tenth time this year, and came third from last. If I keep this up, I’ll be turned into glue. Thunderclap said it’s as if my hooves are made of glue already. Sometimes I feel like he’s right. Thunderclap told me I would stay young if I ate rotten turnips, which are the most disgusting taste possible for horses, but it turned out he was joking. Luckily, you are grey, so no one will ever notice that you are old. Love, C PS Thunderclap is exactly my height, and he is midnight black with a quiff in his mane which he doesn’t have to do anything to to keep curly. It’s wasted on him. 亲爱的M， 我认为你上一封信很是坦诚，你能够向我诉说你的不安全感，我真是荣幸。我认为我们的关系已经到了一个关键的阶段。 我的不安全感来自比赛。我昨天跑了今年的第十次，结果是倒数第三。如果我再这样下去，我会被做成胶水。霹雳说看我跑的样子我的蹄子已经是胶水了。有时我觉得他说的对。霹雳告诉我，想要保持年轻就去吃烂萝卜，虽然那个味道对马来说超级恶心。结果他只是在开玩笑。 幸运的是，你是灰色的，所以不会有谁注意到你变老的。 爱你， C 又：霹雳就和我一样高，皮毛深黑色，鬃毛上有一绺卷毛不用打理就能一直卷在那儿。在他身上真是浪费。 ***** Esteemed Copenhagen, I was a little confused by your letter as I don’t have any insecurities. But I am glad that you feel you can share all of yours with me. Do not listen to Thunderclap. In fact I think it would be better if you never spoke to him again, or looked at him. I dreamed of you last night. We were racing together -clearly in my dream I flattered myself with unrealistic fleetness of foot -and I knew we were on an English racecourse because of the rain and pervasive smell of haddock. You were just ahead of me. There was, incidentally, no sign of Thunderclap. Your ripe muscles were pulling taut the skin of your hindquarters, your lush tail was swishing, and oh, the movement of your strong, provocative legs… But, at that moment, I awoke, and the sound of your hooves drumming the grass was just the distant drum of drumming. I have not had such a dream since I was a heady colt. It must be because I had rotten turnips just before going to sleep. 尊敬的哥本哈根， 你的信使我迷惑不解，因为我并没有什么不安全感。不过我很高兴你愿意将你的心事分享给我。不要听霹雳的话。事实上我认为你最好再也不要和他说话，或者看向他。 我昨晚梦见了你。我们一起奔跑着——显然我在梦里修饰了自己，拥有了超现实的速度——而且从雨和弥漫着的鳕鱼味道里，我知道我们身处英国的赛场。你就在我前方跑着。顺便说一句，霹雳不在。你成熟的肌肉将后半身的皮肤绷紧，你浓密的尾巴飒爽地挥动着，还有哦，你强壮的四腿每一个动作都充满刺激性……可是，就在那时，我醒了，你的蹄子敲击草地的声音，其实是远方的战鼓在擂响。我从来没做过这样的梦，哪怕在我还是头莽撞的小马驹的时候。一定是因为我睡前食用了太多烂萝卜。 In any case it was a rude awakening, although not as rude as I would have liked. Copenhagen, I have the worst possible news. Napoleon has a new mare to ride. I speak figuratively. Napoleon would never ride any horse other than me, aside from his other saddle horses, but I am his favourite. What I mean is that Napoleon is married. We have not gone to war because he was too busy thinking about flower arrangements and colour schemes and party favours for the bridesmaids. His new wife is a Hapsburg, an 18-year-old filly called Marie Louise who can speak six languages but is too frightened to walk behind a horse in case it kicks. She tried to annex my affections with sugarlumps, but I am not so easily bought. 怎么看这都是太猛然的惊醒，尽管不是我想要的那种猛法。哥本哈根，我要说的消息不能更糟了。拿破仑将骑上一匹新的母马。我用了比喻的说法。拿破仑永远不会抛下我去骑别的马，尽管还有其他的战马，我也是他最爱的一匹。 我的意思是拿破仑结婚了。我们没有去打仗，因为他忙于考虑鲜花排布、色彩调配和新娘喜欢的宴会类型。他的新妻子是哈布斯堡王族［1］，一个叫玛丽•路易斯的18岁姑娘，能说六种语言，却不敢走到一匹马的后方，怕被踢到。她想用方糖来赢得我的喜爱，不过我可不是这么容易被收买的。 Be glad that you are a racehorse, you with your most excellent bottom. For as long as races are run, you will be gainfully employed. Do not fear the glue factory. Although we are in different countries and I have never met you and am not entirely clear where you live, I will protect you, I promise it. For my part, I fear this marriage means that I will be retired to give pony rides to squealing brats on the shingles of Nice. Nice is not nice. Actually it is quite nice but I thought that was funny. You will now be wondering why I did not do the joke “Nice is nice”. I am wondering this myself. 幸好你是赛马，你有着你那卓绝的气概。只要比赛还在继续，你就有着薪酬回报。不要害怕胶水工厂。尽管我们身处异地，从未谋面，我也完全不知道你住在哪儿，但我承诺，我一定会保护你。 至于我这边，我担心这场婚姻意味着我会退休，然后在尼斯［2］的海滩上充当尖叫的熊孩子的骑马玩具。尼斯没什么意思［3］。事实上那地方挺有意思的，不过我觉得这样讲很好玩。你现在会疑惑我怎么没有开“尼斯有意思”这样的玩笑吧，我自己也在琢磨呢。 Yearningly, yes, yearningly, 渴望的，没错，渴望着你的 Marengo 马伦戈 ***** 注1 拿破仑的第二任妻子，奥地利哈布斯堡王朝的公主，奥地利国王弗朗茨的女儿。婚礼在1810年3月11日法国巴黎卢浮宫举行。 注2 尼斯，法国南部海滨城市，旅游胜地 注3 原文中Nice和nice的同形文字游戏。这里转化为谐音。 ***** Dear Marengo, The Viscount Wellington has bought me. I am to be a warhorse. I will never race again and I will have to go to war, and it’s the Napoleonic Wars, basically, and our owners are, well, you know, and oh my horsey God, do we have to be archenemies now? Is this the end? I wish— 亲爱的马伦戈， 威灵顿子爵买下了我［1］。我要成为一匹战马了。我再也不能赛跑了，我会上战场，而且还是与拿破仑军的战斗，而我们的主人分别是，呃，你知道的！啊我的马神啊，我们以后会变成死敌吗？这就是结局吗？我但愿—— NARRATOR: And there the letters abruptly end. We have heard, however, that there might be a further packet in the National Gallery miscatalogued as ‘Virginia Woolf: Racist Political Cartoons and Other Juvenilia’. Here’s hoping. 旁白： 然后信件突兀地中止了。尽管如此，我们听说，似乎有后续的一叠信，被误标记为“维吉尼亚•伍尔夫：种族主义和政治卡通及其他早期作品”，存放在国家美术馆里。让我们心存期待。 ***** 注1：Copenhagen于1812年被卖给威灵顿子爵。 *****

Warhorses of letters

下一集： Warhorses of letters 战马的情书 S1E2

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