The Reason For Love Frank Ocean

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I’m beginning to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or 3 I’ve screamed at my creator. Screamed at clouds in the sky. For some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like manna somehow. 4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence … until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping, no negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life. Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager … the ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not yet speak. I realized too much, too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in. I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best, but he wouldn’t admit the same. He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another 3 years. I felt like I’d only imagined reciprocity for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff, I was still in my car telling myself it was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions. I wasn’t always successful.
The dance went on … I kept the rhythm for several summers after. It’s winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a windowseat. It’s December 27, 2011. By now I’ve written two albums, this being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me. Before writing this I’d told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive, kept me save … sincerely, these are the folks I wanna thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are … great humans, probably angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alrite. I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it … as much as I still do sometimes. I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks. To my first love. I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are … and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the summer. I’ll remember who I was when I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now. Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks. To my mother, you raised me strong. I know I’m only braved because you were first … so thank you. All of you. For everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely … I can hear the sky falling too.
-Frank
不管你是谁 无论你在哪 我开始觉得我们很相似
人类徘徊于黑暗中
渴望被看到被触碰被听到被注意到
我所爱之人就是我的所有
过去三年来 我向上苍呐喊请求他给我一些指示 给点怜悯
我的心像喷泉一样狂泄不止
四年前的夏天 我遇到了一个人 当时我们都19岁
我们整个夏季腻在一起 几乎每天黏在一起
相处的时光快速飞逝 将近每天看到他的笑容 听到他的谈笑 听到他的沉默直到睡着
我们常常一起进入梦乡
当我知道我坠入爱河的时候 我厌恶自己 甚至彷徨无助
我没办法跟我自以为深爱的女人解释
我想起了年轻时深受感动的曲子 跟过往女友谈快餐爱情时总是播放着
想象从飞机上被丢下来 虽然实际上我人不在飞机上
我人在爱车上 打包好了行李开往洛杉矶
我坐着跟朋友谈起我的感受 讲着讲着眼泪掉了下来 莫名悲伤
说出去的话收不回来 他拍拍我的背 跟我讲些安慰的话
他尽力安抚我 却无法全然苟同我
他得马上回去屋子里 很晚了 他的女友还在楼上等他
接下来的三年他始终没有对我坦然于心
现在想象自己从悬崖上被丢下去 不 我没站在悬崖上
我在车里深呼吸告诉自己会没事的 然后继续过我的人生
我跟他持续保持友谊关系 因为我无法想象失去他的生活
我没办法控制自己的情感 人非圣贤
人生之舞继续跳下去 冬天了 我在返回洛杉矶的班机上打了这篇文章
飞回家打算过圣诞假期 我坐在靠窗的位子 今天是2011年12月27日
迄今我作了两张专辑 这是第二张 为了保持忙碌状态我写了这些
我想创造一个比我所在的地方更缤纷的世界
我试着调适自己过满的情感 我很讶异它经然控制我到这种地步
在动笔之前我已经跟某些人讲过我的故事
这些人让我有安全感让我感觉到活着
我打从心底诚挚地感谢这些人 或许是天使
现在怎样 我不知道 但我再也没有什么秘密可言
或许还是有些无关紧要的小秘密 你懂的
我并不孤单 几近好像有这种感觉 有时候还是会被孤独笼罩 但我真的并不孤单
致我的初恋 我由衷感谢你 虽然这段恋情并非往我所希望的发展
虽然不够满足 真的不够 但有些事永远都无法满足 我们就是
我不会忘记你 我不会忘记那个夏天
我会记得当时相遇的我和你 我会记得我们一起相伴的时光
我从没像现在这样尊敬我的人生
也许需要体会过绝望才能感觉到活着 感谢
给母亲 你把我抚育得很健全 我知道我之所以坚强就是因为将你当典范
谢谢你 妈妈 谢谢大家 谢谢一切的美好
我现在感到很自由
如果我专心倾听 也可以听到天空坠落的声音
-Frank