Start from Where It Ends (2011-06-10 20:35:59)

Sorry about that but, it's all my capacity.
Well, I know I shouldn't say so, cuz' if I were who I was ten months ago, I wouldn't even give any thought to this idea. However, it's twelve months later, and it's after the college entrance examination, which deeply inclined me to say sorry, at least for myself.
Twelve months ago, after graduated from my former senior high, I made a fairly burdensome decision, which resulted from the failure of my first attempt to go to college, that is, to restart my third year of high school, and what's more, it was in a new place. Resembling most of my friendlies I was determined and filled with resolution when entered into the repeating school, and most importantly, I decided not to even care a little about anyone surrounding me, not to let them know me. This was what truly lying in my mind.
There are words like "some birds are not to be caged, for their feathers are just too bright." in Shawshank Redemption by Steven King. Definitely I thought I was right that shinning bird, longing for freedom and beautiful future, which was also what I deserved. Dramatically, I chose to go in another even more closed cage fighting for the things which symbolized a totally different meaning. And the final upshot was just as dispointing as I had never expected, which clapped me right in the face. Not every effort will get its good payoff, ha, I should have known it right from the start.
For a thousand times I got the chance to ask, why do I need to learn those fucking things like Physics、Chemistry, etc？ They are of very little use for me and they are not my advantages! In actuality, those are my shortcomings！ Well, anyway, I have studied them for 4 years even I knew from the very beginning that it would be a really hard way to go.
"You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went, you can swear and curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go." the captain told Benjamin Button as he was dying when shot out too many holes in the body by a Japanese submarine. The first time I heard these words I was deeply touched, glut of anger, helplessness, and sadness. But, should I be so pessimistic?
Sometimes we live in the orbit of an imminent collision, the unaware, whether it is accident or a premeditated manner to which we are powerless.
Start from where it ends. that's all I wished to do. In the final analysis, it was nothing more than an exam, and there's no exam in this world can determine your life permanently, it is your attitude towards life, which determines your life permanently, and for that, I think it has been too early to say sorry. It's just a beginning, kid. It's just the beginning of my road of life to gain knowledge and experience.
I'll never be sad and pessimistic, this is what I swore to be. Even though I once had been lovelorn, I once had my will fallen, I am still myself, and maybe a better "myself". Pains are also the knowledge I have to get before I find what truly matters in the end. It's just a simple choice, let's start from where it ends:)
For what it's worth, it's never too late, or in my case, too early, to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same.
There's no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it.
I hope you make the best of it.
I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of.
If you find that you are not,
I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
Start from where it ends.
That's pretty much it, I think:)
 
PS: now I'm starting to learn French by myself, I really love that language. and I hope that one year later, I can really go to École Polytechnique, that would be another transformation to me. May God bless me:~D