诗经版翻译 Under the Iron Sky

刚看完 Iron Sky ，觉得主题歌特别好听，非常有末日的苍凉感，试译一下自己的版本。
##Under the Iron Sky
>Kaiti Kink*(Finland)*
Now that you have gone away
>木叶萧下，君身远矣，
I feel so cold, why did I stay?
>寒冰锥心，吾身何留？
Remember, I'll remember your face so pale
>君面如帛，定当铭记，
When you left me on that gloomy day.
>天霭蔽日，是时见弃。
Time goes by, memories are mine
>白驹过隙，唯留吾忆，
Still waiting for the moment I'll see you again.
>彼时可待，再与君会，
Times are changing, memories are fading
>乌飞兔走，难留吾忆，
I'm waiting for another chance
>此去经年，但等君会，
To tell you belong to me.
>千言万语，海誓山盟。
One day
>白昼朗朗，暮夜沉沉，
I know we'll meet again
>花落燕归，待到相见，
Under the Iron Sky.
>仰止瞻望，钢铁苍穹。
*纯粹是抛砖引玉，欢迎斧正。*
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上面的不太能跟着原曲唱，再来一个能唱的。
Now that you have gone away
>叹，君身远矣怎奈，
I feel so cold, why did I stay?
>寒冰锥心，吾身仍在？
Remember, I'll remember your face so pale
>长相忆，君面如帛，定当铭记，
When you left me on that gloomy day.
>君离霭遮日，遗吾待。
Time goes by, memories are mine
>光阴逝，追忆应犹在，
Still waiting for the moment I'll see you again.
>守相思，彼时当近临，与君见。
Times are changing, memories are fading
>白驹过隙，难追忆，如霜退，
I'm waiting for another chance
>此去经年，但等君现，
To tell you belong to me.
>当亲诉，山盟海誓。
One day
>可待，
I know we'll meet again
>磐无移，再相见，
Under the Iron Sky.
>钢铁苍穹之下。