HOUSE
House: What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better?I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.
哪种医生你比较喜欢-在你临死时会陪在你身边的医生或者是当你病情好转后不再搭理你的医生?我猜你最讨厌的是当你快死的时候不再搭理你的医生.
House: I went to see the patients.
我去看病人了。
Wilson:You? never went to see the patient!
你？你从来不去见病人的。
House: Of course I do！ Just before they have teeth.
谁说我不去的！我只是在他们没长牙之前去。（这次的病人是baby...）
Dan's Mother: How can you just sit there?my son is going to die
你怎么能就这么坐在那边?我儿子就要死了
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
如果我站着吃东西,就会洒出来.
Luke: Is this a good hospital?
这家医院好吗?
House: Depends on what you mean by "good". I like the chairs.
这得看你对好医院的定义了,我喜欢这里的椅子.
Dr. Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
医治病人难道不是我们成为医生的原因吗?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
不,医治疾病才是我们做医生的原因,医治病人则是医生痛苦的根源.
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
我爱我老婆
House: You certainly love saying it.
当然，你爱这样说。
患者说他可以和上帝对话,然后house说他的问题应该在他的脑袋上.
chase说,这只是宗教信仰
house:you talk to God,you're religious.God talks to you,you're psychotic.
你和上帝说话,是信仰,上帝和你说话,是精神病。
House: But I have a theory. There is one chemical that, if ingested, it causes a person's estrogen level to increase dramatically.
我有个理论,有一种药品被服用后会导致病人体内的雌激素水平大幅上升.
Bill: What is it?
那是什么?
House: It's called...estrogen.
我们把它称作...雌激素
Dr. Forman: Ten-year olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake.
10岁的孩子不会得心脏病,肯定有什么地方错了
House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on.
没错,最简单的答案就是她谎报了年纪,她其实已经四十岁了.也许她是个女演员.
有一患者是一个志向远大的黑人议员
House: You're not going to be President either way - they don't call it the White House because of the paint job
你无论如何都成不了总统的,白宫之所以叫白宫可不只是因为它是给漆成白色的.
House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
人们不喜欢生病的医生.
Dr. Wilson: That’s fair enough, I don’t like healthy patients.
那很公平,我也不喜欢健康的病人.
Dr. Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Cameron,你有空吗?
Dr. Cameron: What’s up?
什么事?
Dr. Foreman: When you break into a house, its always better to have a white chick with you.
破门而入的时候,有个白人女性陪着比较保险.
House: Another reason I don’t like meeting patients. If they don’t know what you look like, they can’t yell at you.
我不喜欢见病人的另一个原因就是,如果他们不知道你的样子,他们就没法冲你大吼大叫.
Dr. Wilson: You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you’re incapable of kissing a little ass?
你为了得到你要的结果可以坑蒙拐骗,无所不用,怎么就不能稍稍拍拍马屁呢?
House: Well, we all have our limitations.
恩，人总是有缺点的.
House: No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20’ between love and hate.
爱与恨并非只有一线之隔,爱与恨之间隔着一道十步一岗,五步一哨的中国长城.
House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
抬起你的手臂,你体内有个寄生虫.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
你是说象绦虫一类的东西?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.You can put your arms down.
撩起你的毛衣,躺下,把手放下来
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
你能除掉它吗?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
在大多数洲里,除掉超过一个月大的这种寄生虫是非法的.
Jill: Illegal?
非法的?
House: Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
别担心,很多女人都会喜欢她们的寄生虫,给它起名字,穿衣服,还让它和其他的寄生虫一起玩.
Jill: Playdates…
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.
它的眼睛很象你(这位女士怀孕了)
Dr. House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You’re off to a great start.
成功的婚姻都是谎言的基础上建立起来的,你已经开了个好头.
Dr. Wilson: I’m still amazed you’re in the same room as a patient
真令我惊讶,你居然还和患者呆在一间屋子里.
House: People don’t bother me until they get teeth.
没长牙的小家伙我倒不怕.
House: It turns out your best judgment is not good enough. Here’s an idea - next time, use mine
事实证明你最有把握的诊断还是不够好,不如这样吧,下次试试我的主意.
House: As long as you’re trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
只要你尽力了,就表示你可以做任何你想做的事情
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you’re not trying, you can say whatever you want.
只要你不去尽力,你就可以说任何你想说的话.
House: So between us, we can do whatever we want. We can rule the world!
那么说我们两个人加起来就做任何事,说任何话了，我们可以一起统治世界了！
House: You told me you had not changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
你告诉我你没改变你的日常饮食规律，是不是说谎了？
Samantha: Lying?
说谎？
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
你丈夫是不是有高血压？
Samantha: My husband?
我丈夫？
House: Yeah, see, if you’re going to repeat everything I say, this conversation’s going to take twice as long.
恩，你看，如果你重复我说的每一句话，这次谈话就要花两倍的时间了.
House: So what’s her name and when do I get to meet her?
她的名字叫什么,我什么时候能见到她?(盘问Wilson的约会对象)
Dr. Wilson: There’s nobody! Give it up!
别瞎猜了,根本没这回事
House: Your lips say no, but your shoes say yes.
你嘴上说不,可你的鞋子泄露了真相(WILSON换了双漂亮的新鞋)
Dr. Wilson: They’re French. You can’t trust a word they say.
它们是法国货,法国人的话一句都不能信.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you riding on me?
你为什么对我这么刻薄?
House: It’s what I do. Has it gotten worse lately?
我一直这样子,最近我变得更厉害了吗?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. Seems to me.
对我来说是的.
House: Really? Well, that rules out the race thing. You were just as black last week.
真的吗?那么肯定不是种族歧视的原因了,你还和上周一样的黑.
Dr. Cameron: I’ll check into it.
我去查查这个
Dr. Foreman: I’ll make the call.
我去打电话
Dr. Chase: I’ll keep the kid alive. For a while at least.
我去保持那孩子活着.至少能维持一会儿.
House: I’ll have lunch.
我去吃午饭...... (加菲猫精神)
Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
这个孩子在微积分考试当中突然感到恶心眩晕.
House: That’s the way calculus presents.
当然这是微积分的作用啦
House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"?
我认为你说的"有可能"就是"根本没指望了"的英国表达方式.
Dr. Chase: I’m Australian.
我是澳大利亚人
House: You put the Queen on your money. You’re British.
你们把女王的头像印在钱币上,你们就是英国人.
Julia: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories?
我认为你应该听我们讲解病史
House: No, I’m supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening to you, more power to me.
不,我应该教导你们诊断病例,如果我不用听你们讲解就能诊断出来,那我就更加NB了.
Dr. Cameron: Yeah, I I trusted you.
没错，我相信你
House: You always trust me. That’s a big mistake.
你总是相信我，这是个大错误
House: I take risks - sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die. So I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.
我承担风险,有时病人会死,但如果我不冒风险,更多的病人会死,所以我最大的问题就是我已经学会了算术.
Dr. Cuddy: Answer me.
回答我
House: Nothing I could say is going to change how you feel, and nothing could come out of your reaction that is going to change what I plan to do. So I prefer to say nothing.
不管我说什么都不会改变你的想法,不管你说什么都不会改变我的做法,所以我宁可什么也不说.
Dr. Foreman: You know, House shouldn’t even be here!
你知道的，豪斯甚至不应该在这！
Dr. Chase: Because he said something inappropriate? If we sent him home every time he did that, he’d never be here. We wouldn’t even need his office.
因为他说了一些不合适的话？如果他每次说那些我们都把他送走，那他永远也不会出现在这了，我们甚至不需要这间办公室了.
Dr. Cameron: I was the first person (House) ran into. He just asked me.
我是他碰到的第一个人，所以他约了我.
Dr. Chase: Yeah, like a date.
对,就象是个约会
Dr. Cameron: Exactly. Except for the “date” part.
没错,除了“约会”那一部分
House: But I had three reasons.
我有三个理由
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
够合理吗?
House: Well, lets see in a minute - I’m just making them up now.
恩,等一会,我正在编呢.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.....(CUDDY没买帐)
House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
我还有第四个理由.
Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
你说过只有三个理由
House: I thought you’d buy one of them.
我以为你会相信其中的一个
Dr. Wilson: Who?
谁
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Kevin
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
OK，首先，他的名字是Carl
House: I call him Kevin. It’s his secret friendship club name.
我管它叫Kevin，这是他在私密关系俱乐部的名字. (HOUSE根本就记不住医院里面超过5个人的名字。。。)
Dr. Wilson: How do you know she needs a heart transplant?
你怎么知道她需要心脏移植?
House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.
我看了占卜书,上面说今天有个人会心碎.
Dr. Wilson: You lied, didn’t you?
你说谎了，是不是？
House: I never lie.
我从不说谎
Dr. Wilson: Big mistake.
超级错
Lola: You have a big "keep out’ sign stapled on your forehead.
你满脸的不乐意,就差在你头上贴块"别理我"的牌子了.
House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door.
没错,我早就告诉他们把牌子挂在门口了
Dr. Cameron: I don’t have the right to show interest in someone?
难道我没有对某人感兴趣的权利吗?
Dr. Forman: You absolutely do. And I absolutely have the right to humiliate you for it.
你当然有,而我也当然有对此取乐的权利.
House: You were pregnant. Based on your hormone levels, you had a miscarriage.
你怀孕了,从你的激素水平看,你刚刚自然流产了.
Sarah: I haven’t even been on a date.
我没有和人约会过.
House: Right, since it’s physically impossible to have sex without someone buying you dinner.
好吧,显然没人请你吃饭的话你是无法和人做爱的.
Sarah: I haven’t had sex since I split up with my husband.That was almost a year ago.
自从我和丈夫分手后就没做过爱了,那都快有一年了.
House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception.
好吧,你是第二个圣母玛利亚
Sarah: Um, what do I do?
我该怎么做?
House: Well, it’s obvious. Start a religion
恩,很显然,你该开创个宗教.
House: Someday there will be a black president. Someday there will be a gay president. Maybe there’ll even be a gay black president. But one combination I do not see is gay, black, and dead.
有一天我们会有一位黑人总统,有一天我们会有一位同性恋总统,也许有一天我们会有一位黑人同性恋总统,但是肯定不会有个既是同性恋,又是黑人,还是死人的总统.
House: Take these, go home, talk to your daughter.
吃了这药,回家和你女儿谈谈
Female Patient: What?
为什么?
House: Your pants, your blouse, your scarf are all freshly dry cleaned. Everything except your jacket, it’s got a smudge on it. Probably two days old. Which means you didn’t know the jacket had been worn. So either your husband is a crossdresser or your daughter has been borrowing your clothes without telling you. Probably wants to look older to get into bars.
你的裤子,衬衫,围巾都是刚刚干洗过的,只有你的外套上面有块污迹,也许有两天了.这说明你没发现它被人穿过,所以要么是你丈夫有变装癖,要么就是你女儿偷偷穿了你衣服出去,好装扮得成熟点去混进酒吧.
Female Patient: I don’t have a daughter.
我没有女儿...
House: We’re missing something.
我们漏掉了一些东西
Dr. Chase: What?
什么
House: If I knew that it wouldn’t be missing.
如果我知道是什么它就不是“漏掉”的了
House: You Jewish?
你是犹太人?
Dr. Gilmar: Yeah.
是的
House: Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?
那他们说的犹太人的前戏是真的吗?
Dr. Gilmar: Two hours of begging?
你是说两个小时的前戏吗?
House: I heard four.
我听说是四个小时
Dr. Gilmar: Well actually I’m only half-Jewish.
其实我只有一半的犹太血统.
House: (about a lecture) I’m not doing it. (leaves, then stops) You’re supposed to stop me. Renegotiate.
我不会去的. 你应该叫住我,重新谈条件的.
Dr. Cuddy: Hmm, and you were supposed to keep on walking. Sorry, I guess we both screwed up. Go on, do it again.
恩,你应该继续向前走不回头的,看来我两都搞砸了,再来一遍吧.
House: (walking away from the class) Can you still hear me?
还能听见我说话么？
Rebellious Student: No.
不能
Caring Student: A little.
一点点
Keen Student: Not really.
基本听不见
House: If you can’t hear me, how do you know what I asked?
如果你们听不见我，怎么知道我问得什么
Dr. Cameron: Who (thinks he’s sick)?
谁？
House: His wife.
他妻子
Dr. Cameron: The woman you used to live with.
那个以前跟你生活的女人？
House: That’s her Indian name. On her driver’s license it’s "Stacy."
那时她的印第安名字，她驾照上的名字是“Stacy”.
Dr. Cameron: Black defendants are ten times more likely to get a death sentence then white.
黑人罪犯被判死刑的比率是白人的十倍.
Dr. Foreman: Doesn’t mean we need to get rid of the death penalty – we just need to kill more white people.
那不意味着我们需要禁止死刑-我们只要杀掉更多的白人就行了.
Dr. Chase: If she’s never kissed a boy, it’s a fair bet she’s never had sex.
如果她从来没有接过吻,那她就应该没有做过爱
House: Tell that to all the hookers who won’t kiss me on the mouth.
和那些不愿和我接吻的妓女说这话吧.
Dr. Chase: She’s had one hallucination. Why are we operating on her? Why are we risking her life?
她只是有幻觉症状,为什么我们冒生命的危险要给她动手术
House: Because Wilson thinks it would be nice to give the girl a year to say goodbye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something.
因为WILSON希望能多给她一年时间,好让她和她母亲说再见,我估计她有口吃的毛病.
House: I should have been out of here 20 minutes ago.
我20分钟前就应该离开这了
Nurse Brenda: You got here 20 minutes ago.
你到这刚20分钟
Dr. Foreman: You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.
你没有证据下中毒的诊断
House: Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.
这就是为什么当最后证明我是对的的时候会非常酷.
Dr. Cameron: Why would you need $5,000?
为什么你需要5000＄？
Dr. Chase: Bad night at poker or great night with a hooker.
糟糕的扑克之夜，或者美好的妓女之夜
House: Thank you for saving me the trouble of deflecting that personal question with a joke.
感谢你用笑话把我从个人隐私问题里拯救出来
Dr. Wilson: If you have the money then why did you need the loan?
如果你有钱的话为什么还要向我借?
House: I didn’t. I just wanted to see if you’d give it to me. I’ve been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me $40 a year ago. Ummm, a little experiment to see where you’d draw the line.
我就想看看你会不会借给我,自从一年前我找你借过40元后,我每次都增加借钱的数量,就想实验一下你的底线在哪里
Dr. Wilson: You’re…you’re trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship.
你...你用钱来衡量我们的友谊?
House: It’s five grand – you got nothing to be ashamed of.
5千块啊,你没什么好羞耻的.
Dr. Wilson: Now, be a grown-up and either tell Mommy and Daddy you don’t want to see them, or I’m picking you up at seven for dinner.
你要么成熟点自己去告诉你爸妈你不想见他们,要么我就7点来接你吃晚饭.
House: What do you mean? You just said…?
什么意思？你刚才不是说...
Dr. Wilson: I lied. I’ve been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you looked good unshaved a year ago. It’s a little experiment, you know, to see where you’d draw the line.
我撒谎了,自从一年前我告诉你不刮胡子也很帅以后我也在逐渐增加对你说谎的程度,就想实验一下你的底线在哪里
House: How’s your recovery going? Got around to the small muscles yet?
你的恢复怎么样了？长出一圈小肌肉了么？
Mark Warner: It’s not the size of the muscle – it’s where you get to put it.(成人级笑话,看不懂的也别去问了)
不但有肌肉，还经常去它该去的地方
Stacy: My goodness, it’s like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade.
天哪，我好像是在剧院里看两个小丑
Stacy: You have been hiding things and lying to me all day.
你一整天都在对我隐瞒事实和骗我
House: I didn’t lie to you about anything…except the things I admitted to you I was lying about.
我什么事情都不对你说谎，除了那些我承认我对你撒谎的.
Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone’s dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?
你知不知道你手机关机了？你从来不给电池充电？
House: They recharge? I just buy new phones.
这玩意还能充电？我都直接买新的.
Dr. Cameron: Maybe House is wrong.
可能豪斯错了
House: (pause) I hope that’s not the end of the thought.
我希望这不是思考的终点.
House: See that? They all assume I’m a patient because of this cane.
看吧，就因为我这个拐棍 他们都觉得我是个病人。
Wilson: So put on a white coat like the rest of us.
那你就去找件白褂子穿的和我们一样。
House: I don’t want them to think I’m a doctor.
我不像让别人以为我是个医生
Wilson: You see where the administration might have a problem with that attitude.
看吧，这个就是为什么管理层对你的态度有意见。
House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
这儿不需要一个病了的医生。
Wilson: Fair enough. I don’t like healthy patients
这儿也不需要像你这样健康的病人
Foreman: Shouldn’t we be speaking to the patient before we start diagnosing?
我们难道不应该在诊断之前和病人交流一下吗？
House: Is she a doctor?
她是医生？
Foreman: No, but…
不是...但是...
House: Everybody lies.
人人都说谎
Cameron: Dr. House doesn’t like dealing with patients.
豪斯医生不擅长和病人打交道
Foreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors?
如果不和病人打交道，那我们怎么成为医生？
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
错，我们成为医生的理由是治病，而治人使得大多数的医生痛苦万分。
Foreman: So you’re trying to eliminate the humanity from the practice of medicine.
所以你决定把人性从医生的使命中排除掉。
House: If you don’t talk to them they can’t lie to us, and we can’t lie to them. Humanity is overrated.
如果我们不同病人交流，他们就骗不了我们，当然我们也骗不了他们，谈人性在这里太过了。
HOUSE在医院被枪击了,醒来后第一句
House: I always say if you’re going to get shot, do it in a hospital.
我总是说如果你要挨枪子的话，最好的地方还得是在医院里。
House: Here’s how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you
get to shoot people. Not both
我的哲学是：你要么要求别人道歉，要么射他两枪，不能两样都要。
House: Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks. Give me something new and
shiny.
主意可不象汽水罐一样可以循环利用，给我点新鲜的。
Dr. Foreman: (about his father) He’s not proud of me, he’s proud of Jesus.
Everything I do right is God’s work, everything I do wrong is my own damn
fault.
他才不会为我感到骄傲，他是为耶酥而骄傲，我做对的每件事都是上帝的功
劳，我做错的每件事都TMD是我自己的错。
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) I can’t even imagine the backward logic you used to
rationalize shooting a corpse.
我都无法想象你怎么跟我“合理”的解释射击一具尸体这件事。
House: Well if I shot a live person there’s a lot more paperwork.
恩，如果我开枪射个活人的话会有更多的文件要处理。
Dr. Chase: You’re going to talk to a patient?
你打算和这个病人谈话？
House: God talks to him. It’d be arrogant of me to assume I’m better than
God.
连上帝都和他谈话，我还没有傲慢到认为自己比上帝还强的地步。
(House stops Foreman from writing on the whiteboard)
House: Sorry, there’s a reason they call it the whiteboard. It’s not my
rule.
（阻止FOREMAN往白板上写字）对不起，人们管这个叫“白”板是有原因的，不是我定的规矩。（Foreman是黑人）
Foreman:Would you mind give me that black pen?
你介意把那根“黑”笔给我么？
Ronald: I assume House is a great doctor?
我猜HOUSE是个名医。
Dr. Chase: Why would you assume that?
为什么你会这么想？
Ronald: Because if you’re that big a jerk you’re either great or
unemployed.
因为象他那么混的人如果不是特别有本事的话肯定找不到饭碗的
House: (discussing Alex’s breasts) Two clinic hours says that those love
apples are handcrafted by God.
这两个小时的诊断我确定了一件事，她的乳房是上帝的杰作。
Dr. Foreman: I thought you didn’t believe in God.
我以为你不信上帝的。
House: I do now.
现在我信了。
Dr. Foreman: House! You can’t do this!
HOUSE，你不能这么做。
House: Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that.
哦，如果每次我听到这话能得到一角钱的话，我早成百万富翁了。
Stella: What’s wrong with your foot?
你的脚怎么了？
House: War wound.
战争受的伤。
Stella: Does it hurt?
它疼吗？
House: Every day.
每天都疼
Stella: Is that why you’re so sad?
所以你看起来才这么忧伤吗？
House: Oh aren’t you adorable. I’m not sad, I’m complicated - chicks dig
that. One day you’ll understand.
哦！你真可爱，这不叫忧伤，这叫做深沉，女孩子就喜欢深沉的男人，等你长大了就
明白了。
Dr. Chase:We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman
could get the machine
我们的MRI排在二十分钟以后，这已经是FOREMAN的最大努力了。
House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal, and as soon as my back is
turned you wait in line?
我教了你们那么多的坑蒙拐骗，我刚一走开你们就去老老实实的排队？
Dr. Chase: Gambling doesn’t take away (House’s) pain.
赌博并不能消除你的病痛。
House: It does when I win.
我赢的话就可以。
Willson:Trouble will not just go away.
麻烦不会自己走的
House:Ye,maybe you will.
没错，没准你会
Foreman:Drugs?
毒品引起的？
Chase:He is a cap.
他是警察
Foreman:Huh...good point,how about...drugs!?
哈...说的好，要不然是...毒品！？
WISON：把Stacy送走太明智了，对你来讲真是再好不过的结果（WISON认为HOUSE的腿疼是心理疼，与Stacy的离开有关系）
HOUSE：听着，这事和Stacy一点关系都没有！
WISON：对，自从她离开，你的生活完全脱轨，是好大一个巧合啊，包括偏头痛，腿痛加剧......
(WISON还没说完，HOUSE用拐杖狠狠地打了WISON的腿一下，WISON惨叫)
HOUSE：啊？哦？你也想念Stacy吗？
Foreman：（看着House，严肃地) 你把一个病人吓中风了？
Wilson：（看着Foreman，严肃地）你觉得很奇怪？
哪种医生你比较喜欢-在你临死时会陪在你身边的医生或者是当你病情好转后不再搭理你的医生?我猜你最讨厌的是当你快死的时候不再搭理你的医生.
House: I went to see the patients.
我去看病人了。
Wilson:You? never went to see the patient!
你？你从来不去见病人的。
House: Of course I do！ Just before they have teeth.
谁说我不去的！我只是在他们没长牙之前去。（这次的病人是baby...）
Dan's Mother: How can you just sit there?my son is going to die
你怎么能就这么坐在那边?我儿子就要死了
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
如果我站着吃东西,就会洒出来.
Luke: Is this a good hospital?
这家医院好吗?
House: Depends on what you mean by "good". I like the chairs.
这得看你对好医院的定义了,我喜欢这里的椅子.
Dr. Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
医治病人难道不是我们成为医生的原因吗?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
不,医治疾病才是我们做医生的原因,医治病人则是医生痛苦的根源.
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
我爱我老婆
House: You certainly love saying it.
当然，你爱这样说。
患者说他可以和上帝对话,然后house说他的问题应该在他的脑袋上.
chase说,这只是宗教信仰
house:you talk to God,you're religious.God talks to you,you're psychotic.
你和上帝说话,是信仰,上帝和你说话,是精神病。
House: But I have a theory. There is one chemical that, if ingested, it causes a person's estrogen level to increase dramatically.
我有个理论,有一种药品被服用后会导致病人体内的雌激素水平大幅上升.
Bill: What is it?
那是什么?
House: It's called...estrogen.
我们把它称作...雌激素
Dr. Forman: Ten-year olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake.
10岁的孩子不会得心脏病,肯定有什么地方错了
House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on.
没错,最简单的答案就是她谎报了年纪,她其实已经四十岁了.也许她是个女演员.
有一患者是一个志向远大的黑人议员
House: You're not going to be President either way - they don't call it the White House because of the paint job
你无论如何都成不了总统的,白宫之所以叫白宫可不只是因为它是给漆成白色的.
House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
人们不喜欢生病的医生.
Dr. Wilson: That’s fair enough, I don’t like healthy patients.
那很公平,我也不喜欢健康的病人.
Dr. Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Cameron,你有空吗?
Dr. Cameron: What’s up?
什么事?
Dr. Foreman: When you break into a house, its always better to have a white chick with you.
破门而入的时候,有个白人女性陪着比较保险.
House: Another reason I don’t like meeting patients. If they don’t know what you look like, they can’t yell at you.
我不喜欢见病人的另一个原因就是,如果他们不知道你的样子,他们就没法冲你大吼大叫.
Dr. Wilson: You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you’re incapable of kissing a little ass?
你为了得到你要的结果可以坑蒙拐骗,无所不用,怎么就不能稍稍拍拍马屁呢?
House: Well, we all have our limitations.
恩，人总是有缺点的.
House: No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20’ between love and hate.
爱与恨并非只有一线之隔,爱与恨之间隔着一道十步一岗,五步一哨的中国长城.
House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
抬起你的手臂,你体内有个寄生虫.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
你是说象绦虫一类的东西?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.You can put your arms down.
撩起你的毛衣,躺下,把手放下来
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
你能除掉它吗?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
在大多数洲里,除掉超过一个月大的这种寄生虫是非法的.
Jill: Illegal?
非法的?
House: Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
别担心,很多女人都会喜欢她们的寄生虫,给它起名字,穿衣服,还让它和其他的寄生虫一起玩.
Jill: Playdates…
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.
它的眼睛很象你(这位女士怀孕了)
Dr. House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You’re off to a great start.
成功的婚姻都是谎言的基础上建立起来的,你已经开了个好头.
Dr. Wilson: I’m still amazed you’re in the same room as a patient
真令我惊讶,你居然还和患者呆在一间屋子里.
House: People don’t bother me until they get teeth.
没长牙的小家伙我倒不怕.
House: It turns out your best judgment is not good enough. Here’s an idea - next time, use mine
事实证明你最有把握的诊断还是不够好,不如这样吧,下次试试我的主意.
House: As long as you’re trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
只要你尽力了,就表示你可以做任何你想做的事情
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you’re not trying, you can say whatever you want.
只要你不去尽力,你就可以说任何你想说的话.
House: So between us, we can do whatever we want. We can rule the world!
那么说我们两个人加起来就做任何事,说任何话了，我们可以一起统治世界了！
House: You told me you had not changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
你告诉我你没改变你的日常饮食规律，是不是说谎了？
Samantha: Lying?
说谎？
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
你丈夫是不是有高血压？
Samantha: My husband?
我丈夫？
House: Yeah, see, if you’re going to repeat everything I say, this conversation’s going to take twice as long.
恩，你看，如果你重复我说的每一句话，这次谈话就要花两倍的时间了.
House: So what’s her name and when do I get to meet her?
她的名字叫什么,我什么时候能见到她?(盘问Wilson的约会对象)
Dr. Wilson: There’s nobody! Give it up!
别瞎猜了,根本没这回事
House: Your lips say no, but your shoes say yes.
你嘴上说不,可你的鞋子泄露了真相(WILSON换了双漂亮的新鞋)
Dr. Wilson: They’re French. You can’t trust a word they say.
它们是法国货,法国人的话一句都不能信.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you riding on me?
你为什么对我这么刻薄?
House: It’s what I do. Has it gotten worse lately?
我一直这样子,最近我变得更厉害了吗?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. Seems to me.
对我来说是的.
House: Really? Well, that rules out the race thing. You were just as black last week.
真的吗?那么肯定不是种族歧视的原因了,你还和上周一样的黑.
Dr. Cameron: I’ll check into it.
我去查查这个
Dr. Foreman: I’ll make the call.
我去打电话
Dr. Chase: I’ll keep the kid alive. For a while at least.
我去保持那孩子活着.至少能维持一会儿.
House: I’ll have lunch.
我去吃午饭...... (加菲猫精神)
Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
这个孩子在微积分考试当中突然感到恶心眩晕.
House: That’s the way calculus presents.
当然这是微积分的作用啦
House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"?
我认为你说的"有可能"就是"根本没指望了"的英国表达方式.
Dr. Chase: I’m Australian.
我是澳大利亚人
House: You put the Queen on your money. You’re British.
你们把女王的头像印在钱币上,你们就是英国人.
Julia: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories?
我认为你应该听我们讲解病史
House: No, I’m supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening to you, more power to me.
不,我应该教导你们诊断病例,如果我不用听你们讲解就能诊断出来,那我就更加NB了.
Dr. Cameron: Yeah, I I trusted you.
没错，我相信你
House: You always trust me. That’s a big mistake.
你总是相信我，这是个大错误
House: I take risks - sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die. So I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.
我承担风险,有时病人会死,但如果我不冒风险,更多的病人会死,所以我最大的问题就是我已经学会了算术.
Dr. Cuddy: Answer me.
回答我
House: Nothing I could say is going to change how you feel, and nothing could come out of your reaction that is going to change what I plan to do. So I prefer to say nothing.
不管我说什么都不会改变你的想法,不管你说什么都不会改变我的做法,所以我宁可什么也不说.
Dr. Foreman: You know, House shouldn’t even be here!
你知道的，豪斯甚至不应该在这！
Dr. Chase: Because he said something inappropriate? If we sent him home every time he did that, he’d never be here. We wouldn’t even need his office.
因为他说了一些不合适的话？如果他每次说那些我们都把他送走，那他永远也不会出现在这了，我们甚至不需要这间办公室了.
Dr. Cameron: I was the first person (House) ran into. He just asked me.
我是他碰到的第一个人，所以他约了我.
Dr. Chase: Yeah, like a date.
对,就象是个约会
Dr. Cameron: Exactly. Except for the “date” part.
没错,除了“约会”那一部分
House: But I had three reasons.
我有三个理由
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
够合理吗?
House: Well, lets see in a minute - I’m just making them up now.
恩,等一会,我正在编呢.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.....(CUDDY没买帐)
House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
我还有第四个理由.
Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
你说过只有三个理由
House: I thought you’d buy one of them.
我以为你会相信其中的一个
Dr. Wilson: Who?
谁
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Kevin
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
OK，首先，他的名字是Carl
House: I call him Kevin. It’s his secret friendship club name.
我管它叫Kevin，这是他在私密关系俱乐部的名字. (HOUSE根本就记不住医院里面超过5个人的名字。。。)
Dr. Wilson: How do you know she needs a heart transplant?
你怎么知道她需要心脏移植?
House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.
我看了占卜书,上面说今天有个人会心碎.
Dr. Wilson: You lied, didn’t you?
你说谎了，是不是？
House: I never lie.
我从不说谎
Dr. Wilson: Big mistake.
超级错
Lola: You have a big "keep out’ sign stapled on your forehead.
你满脸的不乐意,就差在你头上贴块"别理我"的牌子了.
House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door.
没错,我早就告诉他们把牌子挂在门口了
Dr. Cameron: I don’t have the right to show interest in someone?
难道我没有对某人感兴趣的权利吗?
Dr. Forman: You absolutely do. And I absolutely have the right to humiliate you for it.
你当然有,而我也当然有对此取乐的权利.
House: You were pregnant. Based on your hormone levels, you had a miscarriage.
你怀孕了,从你的激素水平看,你刚刚自然流产了.
Sarah: I haven’t even been on a date.
我没有和人约会过.
House: Right, since it’s physically impossible to have sex without someone buying you dinner.
好吧,显然没人请你吃饭的话你是无法和人做爱的.
Sarah: I haven’t had sex since I split up with my husband.That was almost a year ago.
自从我和丈夫分手后就没做过爱了,那都快有一年了.
House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception.
好吧,你是第二个圣母玛利亚
Sarah: Um, what do I do?
我该怎么做?
House: Well, it’s obvious. Start a religion
恩,很显然,你该开创个宗教.
House: Someday there will be a black president. Someday there will be a gay president. Maybe there’ll even be a gay black president. But one combination I do not see is gay, black, and dead.
有一天我们会有一位黑人总统,有一天我们会有一位同性恋总统,也许有一天我们会有一位黑人同性恋总统,但是肯定不会有个既是同性恋,又是黑人,还是死人的总统.
House: Take these, go home, talk to your daughter.
吃了这药,回家和你女儿谈谈
Female Patient: What?
为什么?
House: Your pants, your blouse, your scarf are all freshly dry cleaned. Everything except your jacket, it’s got a smudge on it. Probably two days old. Which means you didn’t know the jacket had been worn. So either your husband is a crossdresser or your daughter has been borrowing your clothes without telling you. Probably wants to look older to get into bars.
你的裤子,衬衫,围巾都是刚刚干洗过的,只有你的外套上面有块污迹,也许有两天了.这说明你没发现它被人穿过,所以要么是你丈夫有变装癖,要么就是你女儿偷偷穿了你衣服出去,好装扮得成熟点去混进酒吧.
Female Patient: I don’t have a daughter.
我没有女儿...
House: We’re missing something.
我们漏掉了一些东西
Dr. Chase: What?
什么
House: If I knew that it wouldn’t be missing.
如果我知道是什么它就不是“漏掉”的了
House: You Jewish?
你是犹太人?
Dr. Gilmar: Yeah.
是的
House: Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?
那他们说的犹太人的前戏是真的吗?
Dr. Gilmar: Two hours of begging?
你是说两个小时的前戏吗?
House: I heard four.
我听说是四个小时
Dr. Gilmar: Well actually I’m only half-Jewish.
其实我只有一半的犹太血统.
House: (about a lecture) I’m not doing it. (leaves, then stops) You’re supposed to stop me. Renegotiate.
我不会去的. 你应该叫住我,重新谈条件的.
Dr. Cuddy: Hmm, and you were supposed to keep on walking. Sorry, I guess we both screwed up. Go on, do it again.
恩,你应该继续向前走不回头的,看来我两都搞砸了,再来一遍吧.
House: (walking away from the class) Can you still hear me?
还能听见我说话么？
Rebellious Student: No.
不能
Caring Student: A little.
一点点
Keen Student: Not really.
基本听不见
House: If you can’t hear me, how do you know what I asked?
如果你们听不见我，怎么知道我问得什么
Dr. Cameron: Who (thinks he’s sick)?
谁？
House: His wife.
他妻子
Dr. Cameron: The woman you used to live with.
那个以前跟你生活的女人？
House: That’s her Indian name. On her driver’s license it’s "Stacy."
那时她的印第安名字，她驾照上的名字是“Stacy”.
Dr. Cameron: Black defendants are ten times more likely to get a death sentence then white.
黑人罪犯被判死刑的比率是白人的十倍.
Dr. Foreman: Doesn’t mean we need to get rid of the death penalty – we just need to kill more white people.
那不意味着我们需要禁止死刑-我们只要杀掉更多的白人就行了.
Dr. Chase: If she’s never kissed a boy, it’s a fair bet she’s never had sex.
如果她从来没有接过吻,那她就应该没有做过爱
House: Tell that to all the hookers who won’t kiss me on the mouth.
和那些不愿和我接吻的妓女说这话吧.
Dr. Chase: She’s had one hallucination. Why are we operating on her? Why are we risking her life?
她只是有幻觉症状,为什么我们冒生命的危险要给她动手术
House: Because Wilson thinks it would be nice to give the girl a year to say goodbye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something.
因为WILSON希望能多给她一年时间,好让她和她母亲说再见,我估计她有口吃的毛病.
House: I should have been out of here 20 minutes ago.
我20分钟前就应该离开这了
Nurse Brenda: You got here 20 minutes ago.
你到这刚20分钟
Dr. Foreman: You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.
你没有证据下中毒的诊断
House: Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.
这就是为什么当最后证明我是对的的时候会非常酷.
Dr. Cameron: Why would you need $5,000?
为什么你需要5000＄？
Dr. Chase: Bad night at poker or great night with a hooker.
糟糕的扑克之夜，或者美好的妓女之夜
House: Thank you for saving me the trouble of deflecting that personal question with a joke.
感谢你用笑话把我从个人隐私问题里拯救出来
Dr. Wilson: If you have the money then why did you need the loan?
如果你有钱的话为什么还要向我借?
House: I didn’t. I just wanted to see if you’d give it to me. I’ve been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me $40 a year ago. Ummm, a little experiment to see where you’d draw the line.
我就想看看你会不会借给我,自从一年前我找你借过40元后,我每次都增加借钱的数量,就想实验一下你的底线在哪里
Dr. Wilson: You’re…you’re trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship.
你...你用钱来衡量我们的友谊?
House: It’s five grand – you got nothing to be ashamed of.
5千块啊,你没什么好羞耻的.
Dr. Wilson: Now, be a grown-up and either tell Mommy and Daddy you don’t want to see them, or I’m picking you up at seven for dinner.
你要么成熟点自己去告诉你爸妈你不想见他们,要么我就7点来接你吃晚饭.
House: What do you mean? You just said…?
什么意思？你刚才不是说...
Dr. Wilson: I lied. I’ve been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you looked good unshaved a year ago. It’s a little experiment, you know, to see where you’d draw the line.
我撒谎了,自从一年前我告诉你不刮胡子也很帅以后我也在逐渐增加对你说谎的程度,就想实验一下你的底线在哪里
House: How’s your recovery going? Got around to the small muscles yet?
你的恢复怎么样了？长出一圈小肌肉了么？
Mark Warner: It’s not the size of the muscle – it’s where you get to put it.(成人级笑话,看不懂的也别去问了)
不但有肌肉，还经常去它该去的地方
Stacy: My goodness, it’s like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade.
天哪，我好像是在剧院里看两个小丑
Stacy: You have been hiding things and lying to me all day.
你一整天都在对我隐瞒事实和骗我
House: I didn’t lie to you about anything…except the things I admitted to you I was lying about.
我什么事情都不对你说谎，除了那些我承认我对你撒谎的.
Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone’s dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?
你知不知道你手机关机了？你从来不给电池充电？
House: They recharge? I just buy new phones.
这玩意还能充电？我都直接买新的.
Dr. Cameron: Maybe House is wrong.
可能豪斯错了
House: (pause) I hope that’s not the end of the thought.
我希望这不是思考的终点.
House: See that? They all assume I’m a patient because of this cane.
看吧，就因为我这个拐棍 他们都觉得我是个病人。
Wilson: So put on a white coat like the rest of us.
那你就去找件白褂子穿的和我们一样。
House: I don’t want them to think I’m a doctor.
我不像让别人以为我是个医生
Wilson: You see where the administration might have a problem with that attitude.
看吧，这个就是为什么管理层对你的态度有意见。
House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
这儿不需要一个病了的医生。
Wilson: Fair enough. I don’t like healthy patients
这儿也不需要像你这样健康的病人
Foreman: Shouldn’t we be speaking to the patient before we start diagnosing?
我们难道不应该在诊断之前和病人交流一下吗？
House: Is she a doctor?
她是医生？
Foreman: No, but…
不是...但是...
House: Everybody lies.
人人都说谎
Cameron: Dr. House doesn’t like dealing with patients.
豪斯医生不擅长和病人打交道
Foreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors?
如果不和病人打交道，那我们怎么成为医生？
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
错，我们成为医生的理由是治病，而治人使得大多数的医生痛苦万分。
Foreman: So you’re trying to eliminate the humanity from the practice of medicine.
所以你决定把人性从医生的使命中排除掉。
House: If you don’t talk to them they can’t lie to us, and we can’t lie to them. Humanity is overrated.
如果我们不同病人交流，他们就骗不了我们，当然我们也骗不了他们，谈人性在这里太过了。
HOUSE在医院被枪击了,醒来后第一句
House: I always say if you’re going to get shot, do it in a hospital.
我总是说如果你要挨枪子的话，最好的地方还得是在医院里。
House: Here’s how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you
get to shoot people. Not both
我的哲学是：你要么要求别人道歉，要么射他两枪，不能两样都要。
House: Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks. Give me something new and
shiny.
主意可不象汽水罐一样可以循环利用，给我点新鲜的。
Dr. Foreman: (about his father) He’s not proud of me, he’s proud of Jesus.
Everything I do right is God’s work, everything I do wrong is my own damn
fault.
他才不会为我感到骄傲，他是为耶酥而骄傲，我做对的每件事都是上帝的功
劳，我做错的每件事都TMD是我自己的错。
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) I can’t even imagine the backward logic you used to
rationalize shooting a corpse.
我都无法想象你怎么跟我“合理”的解释射击一具尸体这件事。
House: Well if I shot a live person there’s a lot more paperwork.
恩，如果我开枪射个活人的话会有更多的文件要处理。
Dr. Chase: You’re going to talk to a patient?
你打算和这个病人谈话？
House: God talks to him. It’d be arrogant of me to assume I’m better than
God.
连上帝都和他谈话，我还没有傲慢到认为自己比上帝还强的地步。
(House stops Foreman from writing on the whiteboard)
House: Sorry, there’s a reason they call it the whiteboard. It’s not my
rule.
（阻止FOREMAN往白板上写字）对不起，人们管这个叫“白”板是有原因的，不是我定的规矩。（Foreman是黑人）
Foreman:Would you mind give me that black pen?
你介意把那根“黑”笔给我么？
Ronald: I assume House is a great doctor?
我猜HOUSE是个名医。
Dr. Chase: Why would you assume that?
为什么你会这么想？
Ronald: Because if you’re that big a jerk you’re either great or
unemployed.
因为象他那么混的人如果不是特别有本事的话肯定找不到饭碗的
House: (discussing Alex’s breasts) Two clinic hours says that those love
apples are handcrafted by God.
这两个小时的诊断我确定了一件事，她的乳房是上帝的杰作。
Dr. Foreman: I thought you didn’t believe in God.
我以为你不信上帝的。
House: I do now.
现在我信了。
Dr. Foreman: House! You can’t do this!
HOUSE，你不能这么做。
House: Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that.
哦，如果每次我听到这话能得到一角钱的话，我早成百万富翁了。
Stella: What’s wrong with your foot?
你的脚怎么了？
House: War wound.
战争受的伤。
Stella: Does it hurt?
它疼吗？
House: Every day.
每天都疼
Stella: Is that why you’re so sad?
所以你看起来才这么忧伤吗？
House: Oh aren’t you adorable. I’m not sad, I’m complicated - chicks dig
that. One day you’ll understand.
哦！你真可爱，这不叫忧伤，这叫做深沉，女孩子就喜欢深沉的男人，等你长大了就
明白了。
Dr. Chase:We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman
could get the machine
我们的MRI排在二十分钟以后，这已经是FOREMAN的最大努力了。
House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal, and as soon as my back is
turned you wait in line?
我教了你们那么多的坑蒙拐骗，我刚一走开你们就去老老实实的排队？
Dr. Chase: Gambling doesn’t take away (House’s) pain.
赌博并不能消除你的病痛。
House: It does when I win.
我赢的话就可以。
Willson:Trouble will not just go away.
麻烦不会自己走的
House:Ye,maybe you will.
没错，没准你会
Foreman:Drugs?
毒品引起的？
Chase:He is a cap.
他是警察
Foreman:Huh...good point,how about...drugs!?
哈...说的好，要不然是...毒品！？
WISON：把Stacy送走太明智了，对你来讲真是再好不过的结果（WISON认为HOUSE的腿疼是心理疼，与Stacy的离开有关系）
HOUSE：听着，这事和Stacy一点关系都没有！
WISON：对，自从她离开，你的生活完全脱轨，是好大一个巧合啊，包括偏头痛，腿痛加剧......
(WISON还没说完，HOUSE用拐杖狠狠地打了WISON的腿一下，WISON惨叫)
HOUSE：啊？哦？你也想念Stacy吗？
Foreman：（看着House，严肃地) 你把一个病人吓中风了？
Wilson：（看着Foreman，严肃地）你觉得很奇怪？
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