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“What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger…”
Now it’s in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. It’s been an annoying habit of staying up all night long and then missing out the whole morning.
I know it’s not healthy in any possible sense but I just couldn’t stop it. Thanks for this, I don’t even dare to look into the mirror, ‘cause what I can see from the reflection must be a purely ghostlike figure. I know I’ve grown ugly especially when my relatives remind me of—“well, she used to be a cute little girl, but now…” and my mom just couldn’t help nodding “you know, people change especially in their looks”—how much I want to cut those stupid conversations!
Despite all the facts of my failing health and that “appearance problem,” I’ve been constantly investing on something that simply means a waste of time. So many attempts just failed in the end of the stories. My hopeful wishes are always going to be unfulfilled. Maybe they are partially due to my lack of perseverance and skills and intelligence or just a combination of all of those ingredients. Or maybe I just lack a chance of, of something…I don’t know. I’ve been questioning myself a lot recently going through lots of pressure, pressure from god knows where. (There have been nights I cried in the middle of my dreams. The next day, I could clearly find the tear marks…) If I take this period of time as an obstacle in life, then I have to do much more and better to go through it. “What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger…”—and the premise is “it almost kills you.” Better get prepared for that…
Still, I’m not saying anything, am I? It’s just sort of cleansing my thoughts…
Now it’s in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. It’s been an annoying habit of staying up all night long and then missing out the whole morning.
I know it’s not healthy in any possible sense but I just couldn’t stop it. Thanks for this, I don’t even dare to look into the mirror, ‘cause what I can see from the reflection must be a purely ghostlike figure. I know I’ve grown ugly especially when my relatives remind me of—“well, she used to be a cute little girl, but now…” and my mom just couldn’t help nodding “you know, people change especially in their looks”—how much I want to cut those stupid conversations!
Despite all the facts of my failing health and that “appearance problem,” I’ve been constantly investing on something that simply means a waste of time. So many attempts just failed in the end of the stories. My hopeful wishes are always going to be unfulfilled. Maybe they are partially due to my lack of perseverance and skills and intelligence or just a combination of all of those ingredients. Or maybe I just lack a chance of, of something…I don’t know. I’ve been questioning myself a lot recently going through lots of pressure, pressure from god knows where. (There have been nights I cried in the middle of my dreams. The next day, I could clearly find the tear marks…) If I take this period of time as an obstacle in life, then I have to do much more and better to go through it. “What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger…”—and the premise is “it almost kills you.” Better get prepared for that…
Still, I’m not saying anything, am I? It’s just sort of cleansing my thoughts…
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