欧洲人是这样互相鄙视的 ^ ^ - 转

看到一篇趣闻，内容如题。感谢译者：未木本末 本文为中英双版，后接英文原版。 原文来源：http://dailycandor.com/what-europeans-think-of-each-other/ …………………………………………………………………………………………………… 很多美国人认为欧洲人整天无所事事，就知道鄙视美国人，那么这篇文章就是给这些美国人的一份报告。不要误解我——欧洲人确实喜欢鄙视美国人。但是他们同时也喜欢相互鄙视,尤其是邻国之间，彼此会画些漫画讽刺对方，局外人会觉得他们其实是半斤八两。我在欧洲生活了4年，以下调查结果就是基于我与欧洲人的频繁交际所得。 法国人——部分西班牙人（尤其是加泰罗尼亚人）不喜欢法国人，他们觉得法国人太傲慢。一个来自巴塞罗纳的女人告诉我：“拜托！谁喜欢法国人啊？没人！”瑞士人也不喜欢法国人，他们鄙视法国当局和法国人的懒惰。至于英国人嘛，他们对法国人的感觉最为复杂，一半讨厌法国人，另一半则喜欢法国人。那些讨厌法国人的英国人倾向于喜欢美国人，反之亦然。在英国人的眼里，法国人臭、没礼貌（他们从不排队）；而且纳粹进军的时候，法国人并没有奋起反抗，所以英国人认为法国人很懦弱。法国人同时也不喜欢英国人；法国人看不起比利时人，觉得他们很傻B；从我的经验来看，法国人对西班牙人和德国人也没有好印象。 意大利人——欧洲其他国家的人对意大利人的评论大部分是正面的，但是主要还是因为意大利的美食。北欧人认为意大利人懒惰、古里古怪，而且可能国家管理不当（主要是因为，自二战以来，意大利政府已更迭50余次）。我的一个荷兰教授解雇了一个意大利人，他是这么说的，“所有的意大利人都只关心意大利面和妈妈。”反过来，意大利人对欧洲其他国家的人也没什么好感。而且在意大利内部，南北分裂非常严重。北方人抱怨南方人的懒惰、不思进取，而南方人则抱怨北方人没文化且不懂得享受生活。 德国人——欧洲其他国家人认为德国人勤奋、严谨、缺乏幽默感。二战是德国最大的污点，欧洲其他国家人也因此无情地戏弄和嘲笑德国人。尽管德国是一个经济强国，但是欧洲其他大部分国家的人都不想学德语，也不想在德国留学（或者也不愿意把自己的孩子送到德国留学）。德国的食物也不受待见，只有柏林的一些有活力的地下俱乐部对年轻的欧洲人有一点吸引力。最反感德国要数荷兰人和丹麦人了，因为德国曾频繁侵略这两个国家。当德国人在荷兰问路时，荷兰人通常会告诉他最短的离开荷兰的路线，或者直接说“把我们的自行车还给我们！”,因为二战的时候德国曾经没收过荷兰的自行车。丹麦人不喜欢你把他们的首都名念成“ko-pen-HAH-gen”，因为这是德语发音。你既可以用英式发音（用“HAY”代替“HAH”），也可以用丹麦式发音（在此无法表示）。德国人对他们西边邻国的喜爱远大于其邻国居民对他们的喜爱，但是他们瞧不起东方邻国，尤其是波兰。但是有一点很奇怪，对于曾经强烈抵制他们侵略的捷克人，他们倒是怀有一丝敬意。 斯堪的纳维亚人（北欧人）——他们受到大多数欧洲人的尊重，因为他们的高质量生活标准……还有他们金发碧眼的外表。但是，在斯堪的纳维亚内部，他们对彼此有些固执的看法。挪威人、丹麦人和荷兰人都认为瑞典人愚蠢又严肃。挪威人被认为是有种族歧视的。丹麦人比其他欧洲国家的人更直率，脾气性格也有点古怪。北欧人比较内向，但即使以北欧的标准来看，芬兰人也还是非常内向的。除了讨厌德国的丹麦人和讨厌俄罗斯的芬兰人以外，北欧人对其他欧洲国家的人并不反感。 比利时人——荷兰人和法国人都认为比利时人是傻B。反过来，比利时人认为荷兰人是一群脾气暴躁的怪B，法国人是一帮傲慢无礼的二B。 荷兰人——如北欧一样，荷兰因其繁荣的经济和良好的社会秩序让南欧人羡慕嫉妒恨。但是，他们自以为是，自以为无所不知的声誉也响彻欧洲，他们的固执和刻板也和他们的德国表亲有得一比。但是他们不喜欢别人把他们和德国人做比较。如果你提醒他们，说他们的国歌里有一句“van Duitse bloed（来自德国人的血）”,那你就遇到如同死寂的沉默。大家不喜欢荷兰人，还因为荷兰人是欧洲最著名的守财奴。因为这一点，无论他们去哪旅行，都不受待见。他们去法国南部露营时，甚至会囤好水，把所有物资准备好。在被众人鄙视的时候，荷兰人也鄙视所有人。是的，他们的自以为是并非空穴来风。 瑞士人——即使是德国人，也认为瑞士人极度的严谨死板。瑞士人与“友好的”和“热情的”这两个词完全没有关系，直白地讲，他们是粗鲁无礼的。要注意的是，讲法语的瑞士人和讲德语的瑞士人是有很大的文化差异的。讲法语的瑞士人就是再版法国人，不过瑞士的食物没有法国那么乏味，对当局的态度也没有法国那么随便；讲德语的瑞士人跟德国人比是青出于蓝，他们比德国人理严肃、死板而古里古怪。但是，所有人都知道瑞士的好，所以有一点很明朗，外籍人口（大部分来自欧盟国家）占瑞士全国总人口的百分之二十。要注意的是，瑞士人的德语是变体的德语，如果你只接触过标准的德语，那你会觉得瑞士人的德语非常奇怪。 西班牙人——说实话，对于和来自西班牙的负面评论都很少。没人真正讨厌西班牙人，而且西班牙人基本上也不讨厌任何其他国家的人。（是的，与法国相邻的部分西班牙人不怎么喜欢法国人）具体原因不明。但是，千万别讲一口拉丁美洲口音的西班牙语，不然上帝都不会原谅你的，因为仍然有很多西班牙人非常鄙视拉丁美洲人。西班牙人自认为是白种欧洲人，如果你把他们和拉丁美洲人扯上一丁点儿关系，他们会感觉倍受污辱。 希腊人——对其他欧洲国家而言，希腊人只是名义上的欧洲人，但是希腊人坚称自己是欧洲人。自然而然，如果说希腊人不是欧洲人，是对他们的强烈刺激。 波兰人——除了安静以外，波兰和波兰人也没有什么特别的了。波兰算是一个大国，有四千万人口。在2005年，当以波兰为主的一批东欧国家加入欧盟时，大家曾担心东欧人在欧盟的泛滥。德国人非常不喜欢波兰人，在德国的九个邻国中，波兰是最不受德国人待见的。在德国人眼里，波兰人就是一群偷车贼。确实如此，德国和波兰的关系就像美国和墨西哥的关系一样，造成这种局面的原因也差不多（收入差距、战争历史、语言障碍等等）。波兰人则把他们的憎恨转移给了他们东边和南边的邻居们，虽然他们不喜欢捷克人、斯洛伐克人和立陶宛人，但他们更讨厌俄罗斯人和乌克兰人。奇怪的是，他们对德国人并没有特别的情绪，也许是因为他们仍然害怕德国吧——所以你在波兰永远也听不到关于德国人的笑话。 捷克人——对西欧人来说，捷克算是东欧一个不错的亮点，但是我认为，这主要是因为布拉格是一座漂亮的城市和旅游胜地吧。捷克人和德国人有点儿像——有些粗鲁、直白和冷酷。波兰人不喜欢捷克人。 奥地利人——综合了德国人和巴尔干人的最好和最差的特质，奥地利人虽然懒散，但是他们的爱国主义和种族主义值得一提。据说奥地利是希特勒的出生地，但是从来没有像德国一样为大屠杀道歉过。除德国人以外，大多数西欧国家的人对奥地利是中立态度。德国人认为奥地利人不思进取，不能代表德语国家的良好形象。但出于对哈普斯堡王朝的怀念，东欧国家的人对奥地利是敬仰的态度。 英国人——如果你把英国人称之为欧洲人，大约一半的英国人会生气，那么相信你开始了解英国了。英国就是美国的乖乖狗，与欧洲对抗也是美国要英国这么做的。英国人有礼貌，但是有点儿墙头草（所以被称为Janus Britain两面神），还有点儿势利。苏格兰人和威尔士人都不错，主要是英国之外的人对他们并不了解。直面欧洲其他国家对英国的负面情绪的，当然首当其冲是英格兰了。毕竟，伦敦就在英格兰嘛。 英格兰还因其居民敲诈游客而臭名昭著，比如阿姆斯特丹和伊比萨，那里的居民噪门大而且酒品差。 反过来，英格兰人对其他所有人也看不顺眼。这就是为什么很难找到一个对欧洲其他国家（或者对美国，或者对其他洲的国家）不持负面想法的英国人了。欧洲到处都住着英国人，而且他们在一个国家住得越久，他们就越讨厌那个国家，但是他们又不愿意回自己的国家。 爱尔兰人——虽然夸大了他们在美国人心里的重要性，但是爱尔兰其实只是一个非常小的国家。爱尔兰人礼貌而谦虚。爱尔兰人名义上讨厌英国人，但是我没见哪个爱尔兰人真正讨厌英国人。总体来说，来自和对于爱尔兰人的情绪似乎都是积极正面的。 我个人对葡萄牙人、匈牙利人、罗马尼亚人、保加利亚人和其他国家人的感知和被感知并不是很了解。但是，如果你还有其他内容要添加，请在下面评论。几年前，我在意大利见过一张海报，多少可以总结一些方面： 在天堂…… 工程师是德国人 厨师是法国人 警察是英国人 情人是意大利人 一切由瑞士人统领 在地狱…… 工程师是法国人 警察是德国人 厨师是英国人 情人是瑞士人 一切由意大利人统领 This is a basic backgrounder for Americans, primarily, who might think Europeans do nothing all day but bitch about Americans. Don’t get me wrong—they do love bitching about Americans. But they also like bitching about each other, as well. Bordering countries, especially, have complex caricatures of each other, even when an outsider might think they’re more or less the same. The following is based on my numerous interactions with Europeans, having lived there for 4 years. Here’s a run down: The French — Disliked by some Spanish (particularly the Catalonians), for being arrogant. One woman from Barcelona told me, “Come on¦who really likes the French? Nobody!” The Swiss don’t like the fact that they have contempt for authority and are lazy. The Brits, of course, have the most mixed feelings about the French, though. One half the country hates them, the other half loves them. Those that hate the French tend to like the Americans, and vice versa. In the UK, they’re considered stinky, rude (they never line/queue up like decent people), and a bit yellow, based on their tendency to not fend off invaders like the Nazis.The French, in turn, dislike the British, look down on Belgians for being stupid, and don’t have much to say, in my experience, about Spaniards or Germans (oddly). The Italians — Most of the stereotypes are positive, but mostly because of the food. Northern Europeans consider them lazy and flaky, and maybe incapable of managing anything right (mostly because of the 50+ governments they’ve had since WW2). One Dutch professor I had dismissed another Italian one, saying, “All the Italians care about are pasta and mamma.”Italians, in turn, don’t have strong feelings about other Europeans, but within Italy, the north-south divide is pretty strong. Northern Italians continuously complain that Southerners are lazy and unproductive, while Southerners complain that Northerners are devoid of culture or joie de vivre. The Germans — Germans are considered industrious but uptight and humorless, by just about all the other Europeans. They know WW2 is a sore spot for them, so other Europeans will often mercilessly tease them about it. As much as Germany is considered an economic powerhouse, the vast majority of Europeans don’t really want to learn German or study there (or send their kids there to study). The food is considered uninspired, too, and only Berlin has some cachet among younger Europeans for its vibrant underground club scene. The most anti-German sentiments are among the Dutch and Danish, who just hate them from invading their countries too often. When German ask for directions in Holland, they’re usually given directions to the shortest way out of the country, or told “Give us back our bikes!”, a reference to the fact that Germans confiscated Dutch bicycles during WW2.Danes hate it when you pronounce their capital as “ko-pen-HAH-gen”, because this is the German pronunciation. Either pronounce it the English way (with “HAY” instead), or the Danish way, which is literally impossible to put down here.Germans tend to like their Western neighbors far more than they are liked by them, but they look down on their Eastern neighbors, particularly Poles. They, oddly, have some mixed respect for the Czechs, who have resisted German aggression. The Scandinavians — Widely respected by most other Europeans, because of their high standard of living …and blond hair and blue eyes. However, within Scandinavia there are some persistent stereotypes. The Norwegians, Danes and Finns all think the Swedes are stupid and uptight. Norwegians are considered racist. Danes are considered more blunt than the others, maybe a bit more cranky, and the Finns are oddly introverted, even by Scandinavian standards. Except for the Danes really disliking Germans, and Finns really disliking Russians, they don’t really have anything against other Europeans. The Belgians — Considered idiots by both the Dutch and the French. Belgians, in turn, consider the Dutch to be a bunch of cranky assholes, and French stuck-up. The Dutch — The Dutch, like the Scandinavians, have an enviable economy and social order that’s admired by southern European countries. However, they do have a reputation of being self-righteous “know-it-alls” and very similar to their German cousins in terms of their rigidity. But they do not like any comparisons to Germans, and if you remind them that the Dutch national anthem makes a reference to the Dutch being “van Duitse bloed” (from German blood), you might quickly get the silent treatment. The Dutch are also disliked for being the biggest misers in Europe, and because of this they incur the wrath of the tourist industry wherever they travel. The Dutch have been known to stock up on water before they take their campers down to the south of France.The Dutch, in turn, kind of look down on just about everyone. Yes, there’s a bit of a reason for the “know-it-all” smart-ass reputation they have. The Swiss — Considered extremely rigid, even by the Germans. Blunt to the point of being rude, the Swiss probably have the least likely reputation for being characterized as “friendly” or “warm”. Note that there is a big cultural divide between French-speaking Swiss, and the German-speaking Swiss. The former are almost exactly like the French, except having a blander cuisine and more respect for authority, the latter being more like the Germans except even more stiff, rigid and cranky. However, everyone knows Switzerland “works” so the fact that foreigners comprise 20% of the population (mostly from EU member states) should make this clear.Note that the German-speaking Swiss also speak their own variant of German, which sounds very strange if you’ve only been exposed to standard “hoch-Deutsch”. The Spaniards — Honestly, very little antagonism against the Spanish or by the Spanish. No one really seems to dislike them, and they don’t seem to really dislike anyone else. (Yes, some Spaniards near the border to France don’t like the French very much) Not entirely sure why. However, God forbid you speak Spanish with a Latin American accent — there is still a lot of snobbery among Spaniards towards Latin Americans. Spaniards consider themselves white and European, and would be deeply insulted if you suggested they were Latin American of any kind. The Greeks — Only nominally considered European by other Europeans, but the Greeks fiercely identify as European. Naturally, this is a huge irritant to Greeks. The Poles — Not much seems to register about Poland and the Poles except that they’re quiet. They are a relatively big country (40 million people) so the supposed scare of being overrun by Eastern Europeans when a bunch of Eastern European countries joined the EU in 2005 focused in on the Poles. The Germans really don’t like Poles, and among Germany’s 9 neighbors, are disliked the most. Poland is considered a country of car thieves by the Germans. Really, the relationship between Germany and Poland is similar to that of the United States and Mexico, and often for many of the same reasons (differences in income, history of war, different languages, etc.).Poles really shore up their hatred for their eastern & southern neighbors, primarily Russia and Ukraine, although they don’t like Czechs, Slovaks or Lithuanians either. Oddly, they don’t really mind the Germans, and probably still fear them a bit — you never, ever hear jokes about Germans in Poland. The Czechs — Considered a relatively bright spot of Eastern Europe by Western Europeans, but I think primarily because Prague is such a gorgeous city and a popular tourist destination. Czechs are a bit like Germans, though — a bit rude, blunt, and cold. Poles don’t have much good to say about them. The Austrians — Considered a mix of the best & worst aspects of Germany and the Balkans, Austrians are considered laid-back but very nationalistic and racist. They’re said to be the birthplace of Hitler, but never came around to being fully apologetic about the Holocaust (unlike Germany). Neutral feelings from most ofWestern Europe, negative feelings from Germans (who consider them backwards, and not always the representing the best image of German-speaking people) and admired by Eastern Europeans (a throwback to the Hapsburgs). The British – About half of the British would be really angry at being called European, so that should provide an apt starting point. The main beef with the Brits is that they’re considered the lapdog of the U.S., and are anti-European because the U.S. tells them to be so. They are considered polite, but maybe a bit two-faced (hence “Janus Britain”) and snobby. The Scots and Welsh are tolerated and liked, inasmuch as that no one really knows too much about them outside the UK, but the English are those that bear the brunt of negative sentiments among other Europeans. After all, London is in England. The English also have a poor reputation in tourist traps, such as Amsterdam and Ibiza, for being loud-mouthed, obnoxious drunks. The English, in turn, really seem to hate everyone. This is because it’s pretty hard to find an Englishman that has even, at best, neutral opinions about other Europeans (or Americans, or other nationalities). Europe is full of English expats, and the longer they live abroad, the more they seem to hate their host country. And yet they never seem to want to move home. The Irish — A very small country, despite its exaggerated importance in Americans’ minds (just over 3 million) but considered polite and humble. They nominally dislike the English, but I have yet to meet an Irishman who really loathes the English. The sentiments towards the Irish and by the Irish seem to be positive, overall. I personally don’t know much about how the Portuguese, Hungarians, Romanians, Bulgarians, and others are perceived, or how they perceive others, but if you have something to add, please do so in the comments below. I’ll leave you with this poster I saw in an Italian office years ago, that helps sum it up in some ways: In Heaven… the mechanics are German the chefs are French the police are British the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. In Hell… the mechanics are French the police are German the chefs are British the lovers are Swiss and everything is organized by the Italians.