婚姻制度是一种“自愿奴役”的形式，誓言赋予其神圣性

that’s actually why people get married you know just so you know because this is built into marital vows i’m not leaving ever no matter what it’s like okay well,that definitely puts a boundary around our arguments right. bucause I can’t say every time you manifest one of your flaws which you’re likely to do just as often as me well well enough of this that’s horrible Man,if your whole life is well every time you get out of line I’m out of here it's like how the hell are you first of all you’re not gonna admit to ever doing anything wrong second you’re gonna be on your your like like a scared cat on relationship because well who knows it could just come to an end at any moment it's like you know people say well if you’re if the possibility of divorce is open it makes you free it’s like yeah that's what you want you want to be free Eh,really?Really? so you can’t predict anything,that’s what you’re after it's a vow and it says,look I know that you’re trouble.Me too. so we won’t leave no matter what happens well that’s a hell of a vow but that’s why it’s vow right that’s why you take it in front of a bunch of people that’s why it’s supposed to be a sacred act it’s like what’s the alternative what’s the alternative everything is mutable and changeable at any moment well go ahead you live your life like that and see what you’re like when you’re 50 Jesus it’s dismal two or three divorces your family’s fragmented you’ve got no continuity of narrative it’s not good for the kids not by any stretch of the imagination and so it’s a form of voluntary enslavement I suppose but it’s also equivalent to the adoption of a responsibility and there’s more to it than that if you can’t run away then you can solve your problems because it might be okay well I’m stuck with you so how about we fix things because the alternative is we’re going to be in a boxing match for the next 40 years that’s the alternative you think you’re gonna fix problems without something like that hanging over your head there isn’t a chance,you’ll just avoid them because that’s what people do it's really hard to solve problems especially in a relationship we’re having a fight and I find out that because you’re you you were abused by your uncle when you were five or some goddamn thing it's like it’s very frequent that that sort of thing happens your partner’s you know manifesting some weird anomalous behavior you just can’t make heads or tails of it it doesn’t seem related to what you’re doing at all they don’t want to talk about it and so as soon as you bring it up they get mad and then you bring it up again they even get madder and they tell you that you’re not gonna talk about that or they’re gonna leave and so maybe you’re really really persistent because you’re kind of a son of a bitch then they break down and cry and then they have this horrible memory that comes flooding forward that's completely you don’t know what to do with it and then you have to sort it out so you think you’re gonna do that unless unless there’s good reason you have to know we better sort this out or we’re gonna be carrying it around for the next forty years that maybe is enough motivation so you’ll actually try hard to solve a problem that’s a lot easier to say well sorry we’re not going there but then good you’ll have it everday every day every goddamn day for the rest of your life