我或许曾经喜欢过她

她指的是我高中女同桌，这里的喜欢指的也是梦里的喜欢，也就是部分喜欢。

没分到同一个班之前，我就留意她，一头卷毛，加独特的气质。

later on, we actually were in the same class. and we even were group members. and we were deskmates. i think i like her for her humor and part of her personaity, melecany but reasonable. and another important point winning me was she literally enjoying books.

i dreamed of her yesterday, we sitted on a bench and i leaned toward her. she was tender like a night such that i didn't wanna leave my dream.

yet in real life, i would not be with her. cause i know she doesn't fit me. and im not her type

but i love the moment with her.

and in effect, i dare not have a relationship with anybody. what i can do is have a secret crush on someone in that i have so much insecruity with my future and prepare a better version of myself for it. But how?

Look better. To start, in a good body shape. Then, have a good taste on outfits. After that have a proper makeup and know how to take a picture of myself and organize my insta and tiktok.

GPA better. really wanna take everything back.

Intern Better. prepare a good cv and practice to be ready for the interview.

so much so far.

i actually wanna do a 2023 end video on my youtube. HMMM. I WILL DO TAHT