IELTS Writing Task1 - Graphs （5） - Elderly Leisure Activities

written by myself:

The line chart illustrated the activities of the elderly do in their freetime in the USA from 1980 till the present. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of people who hiking, reading and surfing the internet increased, while the count of who went to the theatre and watched tv doesn't change a lot in the given period.

The figure of the elderly who went hiking grows sharply from 20%(1980s) to reach the peak at 80%(2010s). Followed the same pattern, the percentage of surfing the internet marginally rise from 5%(1980s) , which is the least percentage of the given time, to 15%(2000s), and quickly climb up to 50% in the last 10 years. The figure of reading showed a considerable fluctuation, inclined from 30%(1980s) to 40%(1990s), then dropped to 20%(2000s), and finally reached at 60%(2010s) .

On the other hand, the proportion of old people who went to theatre witnessed a minor fluctuation from 50%(1980s) to 30%(1990s), and slowly move up to 45%(2010s) in the remaining time frame. In contrast , the figure of watching tv saw a 10 percentage growth in the begining 20 years, but fell slightly from 70%(2000s) to 65%(2010s).

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After grammarly checking and proofing this article:

The line chart illustrates the activities that elderly people do in their free time in the USA from 1980 to the present. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of people who hike, read, and surf the internet has increased, while the number of people who go to the theater and watch TV has not changed significantly over the given period.

The percentage of elderly people who went hiking increased sharply from 20% in the 1980s to reach its peak at 80% in the 2010s. Similarly, the percentage of those who surfed the internet marginally rose from 5% in the 1980s, which was the least percentage of the given time, to 15% in the 2000s and quickly climbed up to 50% in the last 10 years. The figure for reading showed considerable fluctuation, increasing from 30% in the 1980s to 40% in the 1990s, then dropping to 20% in the 2000s, and finally reaching 60% in the 2010s.

On the other hand, the proportion of elderly people who went to the theater witnessed minor fluctuation from 50% in the 1980s to 30% in the 1990s, and slowly moved up to 45% in the 2010s. In contrast, the figure for watching TV saw a 10 percentage point growth in the first 20 years but fell slightly from 70% in the 2000s to 65% in the 2010s.

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model essay:

This graph shows the kinds of activities done by old people in their spare time, covering a period from the 1980s to now in the United States. We can see that generally the activities listed have been increasing in popularity amongst the elderly, with hiking increasing steadily throughout the years, and watching TV being the most popular overall.

In the 1980s, nearly all activities were growing in popularity. The only activity which was becoming less popular over these years was going to the theatre. Going to the theatre declined steeply from 50% to 30%.

This changed in the 1990s, and going to the theatre became more popular, whereas reading saw a dramatic drop in popularity. The number of people doing all other activities increased.

This century, hiking, reading, going to the theatre and surfing the Internet have all been increasing in popularity. However, watching TV has been decreasing in popularity. Despite this, watching TV is still the second most popular activity nowadays amongst this group. Most elderly people are hiking nowadays in their spare time.

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summary:

words:

1. the figure for - the proportion of - the percentage of

2. a 10 percent point growth

3. over the period - during the period - over the given time frame- over the given 12 year period - in the given year - throughout the given period

grammar:

1. the activities that elderly people do , not "the activities of the elderly do"

2. then dropping to, not "then dropped to"

3. witnessed minor fluctuation, not "witnessed a minor fluctuation"

4.has not changed significantly over the given period , not "doesn't change a lot in the given period"

stucture:

1. Writing in chronological order/chronologically/ in time sequence to make the logic clear. （due to the line number： above 2）

2. Pay attention to time tense , especially when using Present perfect （has done).