Grimm's Story - A Boy Learns What Fear Is - Light
A post-adolescent boy who doesn’t know what fear is may be presumed uniformed of other basic emotions. He may be, in short, a dunce and not worth our notice. But here’s an account of such ignorance that makes the boy out to be interesting and nearly clever – if lazy.
Boy, “Father, I’ve heard some talk of fear. Fear of God, of disease, and of death. Fear of the dark; a schoolmate said he was afraid of girls. What is this fear?”
Father, “The smithy is so tranquil and secure, I don’t know myself. You’ll have to leave home to learn what fear is. Some criminals are being hung at the gallows; you might learn about fear from them.”
We can’t be surprised at the boy’s loopy innocence, as the father seems less than a bright light.
Criminal A, “It’s so unfair. Sure, we roughed up a priest – who deserved it – insulted some nuns banged a few heads for fun; but we never stole that stupid bell. It’s worthless, and we’re not morons – are we?”
Boy, “So you were unjustly convicted of theft? Is that fear?”
Criminal B, “No, that’s wrong. Now we’ll die for something we didn’t do.”
Boy, “Are you afraid of dying?”
Criminal A, “Don’t know yet. Being half – dead isn’t half bad.”
The boy gets no help from these mopes. He might as well have interviewed drying laundry.
The boy stops by a schoolyard where he helps solve the crime.
Girl A, “Look, here’s the bell. It wasn’t stolen after all. Those men were innocent.”
Man, “Never! They were certainly guilty of something and have met their just reward. As for the bell, it was purloined from my office and concealed in a sandbox to be retrieved at a later date with the intention of removing it from school premises for illicit purposes or profit or both. The malefactor must be punished.”
Girl B, “Who would steal a stupid bell?”
Man, “A mischievous, evil, unredeemable, dirty-minded pupil like you, that’s who. And as I’m certain you won’t confess, all students will share the blame. Get in line for a whipping.”
Boy, “That’s not fair. Besides, it’s clear who touched the bell last. Him!”
Man, “That man is an adult, a teacher. You lying little savage! Get in line for a whipping!”
Boy, “Look! The brass bell is tarnished and the green stuff has rubbed off on the teacher’s hands.”
Teacher, “I confess. I’ve always wanted a big brass bell of my very own, to love and protect and fondle… I don’t know why. I’m sorry.”
So the search continues. His ignorance is unimproved. Can no-one and nothing teach this boy what fear is? He takes a peculiar job with the local royal.
King, “If you can spend the entire night among these dreadful, ugly ghouls and ghosts; they will leave my castle and family forever. Many others have tried and failed, fearing for their lives. Stay the course, and you can marry my daughter.”
Boy, “Will I learn what fear is?”
King, “Guaranteed.”
Oh no, king. Even you, in you majestic wisdom can err. I think we know where this is heading. Nothing frightens the boy. Or not so he’ll admit it.
Ah, another happy wedding.
Boy, “Now, I think I know what fear is.”
A deafening sudden noise is shocking, certainly. And when one evacuates one’s bowels on being shocked, he may mistake the cause as fear.
So the boy, to my mind, never did learn what fear was. Title’s kind of misnomer. But it has a more sensible outcome than the Brothers’ tale where the lad supposedly learns about fear by learning to shudder. His wife dumps cold water down his pants while he’s sleeping. Where’s the fun in that? Want to learn more about real fear? Play on.
Boy, “Father, I’ve heard some talk of fear. Fear of God, of disease, and of death. Fear of the dark; a schoolmate said he was afraid of girls. What is this fear?”
Father, “The smithy is so tranquil and secure, I don’t know myself. You’ll have to leave home to learn what fear is. Some criminals are being hung at the gallows; you might learn about fear from them.”
We can’t be surprised at the boy’s loopy innocence, as the father seems less than a bright light.
Criminal A, “It’s so unfair. Sure, we roughed up a priest – who deserved it – insulted some nuns banged a few heads for fun; but we never stole that stupid bell. It’s worthless, and we’re not morons – are we?”
Boy, “So you were unjustly convicted of theft? Is that fear?”
Criminal B, “No, that’s wrong. Now we’ll die for something we didn’t do.”
Boy, “Are you afraid of dying?”
Criminal A, “Don’t know yet. Being half – dead isn’t half bad.”
The boy gets no help from these mopes. He might as well have interviewed drying laundry.
The boy stops by a schoolyard where he helps solve the crime.
Girl A, “Look, here’s the bell. It wasn’t stolen after all. Those men were innocent.”
Man, “Never! They were certainly guilty of something and have met their just reward. As for the bell, it was purloined from my office and concealed in a sandbox to be retrieved at a later date with the intention of removing it from school premises for illicit purposes or profit or both. The malefactor must be punished.”
Girl B, “Who would steal a stupid bell?”
Man, “A mischievous, evil, unredeemable, dirty-minded pupil like you, that’s who. And as I’m certain you won’t confess, all students will share the blame. Get in line for a whipping.”
Boy, “That’s not fair. Besides, it’s clear who touched the bell last. Him!”
Man, “That man is an adult, a teacher. You lying little savage! Get in line for a whipping!”
Boy, “Look! The brass bell is tarnished and the green stuff has rubbed off on the teacher’s hands.”
Teacher, “I confess. I’ve always wanted a big brass bell of my very own, to love and protect and fondle… I don’t know why. I’m sorry.”
So the search continues. His ignorance is unimproved. Can no-one and nothing teach this boy what fear is? He takes a peculiar job with the local royal.
King, “If you can spend the entire night among these dreadful, ugly ghouls and ghosts; they will leave my castle and family forever. Many others have tried and failed, fearing for their lives. Stay the course, and you can marry my daughter.”
Boy, “Will I learn what fear is?”
King, “Guaranteed.”
Oh no, king. Even you, in you majestic wisdom can err. I think we know where this is heading. Nothing frightens the boy. Or not so he’ll admit it.
Ah, another happy wedding.
Boy, “Now, I think I know what fear is.”
A deafening sudden noise is shocking, certainly. And when one evacuates one’s bowels on being shocked, he may mistake the cause as fear.
So the boy, to my mind, never did learn what fear was. Title’s kind of misnomer. But it has a more sensible outcome than the Brothers’ tale where the lad supposedly learns about fear by learning to shudder. His wife dumps cold water down his pants while he’s sleeping. Where’s the fun in that? Want to learn more about real fear? Play on.
