爱很美味-刘净

When I watched the first few episodes of Delicious Romance, I liked the main character Jing Liu a lot. She looked like a quiet average girl in the school. But she is knowledgeable and low-key. She never volunteered answers in classes, but she can read the English textbook nicely when asked. She didn't care too much about other people's opinions. She liked cooking and used to read recipes in the classroom. She was perfectly weird. However, I didn't like the character that much when she is an adult. She is not as successful as I expect her to be. She lost her job just after pandamic and failed to find a new job. Her failure in the career is due to two reasons. One is discrimination against thirty-ish-year-old female candidates in the job market. The other is her previous job is IT operation, while jobs for people with her tenure are usually software development. She didn't develop enough technical expertise in her previous job.

我一开始的时候很喜欢刘净这个角色，觉得非常有代入感。刘净小时候是个有些不合群的普通女生。长得一般，上课从来不举手发言，下课自己默默看菜谱。她不说话但是她一直默默做事，老师叫她起来读英文课文，她读的非常流利，同学在操场上摔倒了，是她第一个想起去拿急救箱。长大后她选择了计算机专业，毕业后进入银行做IT部门。我觉得这就是另一个我自己，因为我小的时候也不合群，也喜欢别人不喜欢的东西，后来做了一个程序员。

但是到后来，我对她逐渐失望。首先是她被银行裁员后无法找到新工作。除了因为性别歧视和年龄歧视而不容易找工作之外，她之前的工作清闲却不够技术积累，导致她彻底失去了竞争优势。之后她放弃找工作开始计划开餐馆。但是她从来没有在餐饮业的工作经验，也没有做详尽的计划和准备就开始找场地筹集资金，令人觉得她不够努力。

所以为什么年少时候的刘净让我如此喜欢，成年后的她又让我不舒服呢？

我代入到年少刘净的是年少时的我。我以为刘净虽然长相普通，性格不讨喜但是学习一直很好，至少比方欣好。觉得她会第一个去拿急救箱是因为她处事周全做的多，说的少，但是电视剧里从来没有说过这些。编剧想体现的可能只是她不争不抢，关心她人。然而我小时候，从来不是不争不抢，只是只争抢我觉得重要的（不是我喜欢的）。我也没有很关心他人，如果有的话也只是为了装样子给别人看。

我不想代入到现在的刘净的是现在的我。她做一份不喜欢的工作五六年，在被开除之前没有努力做出过改变。不喜欢妈妈天天催婚却和父母住在一起不搬走。一边担心父母不同意自己开餐馆一边提出希望父母出钱帮助。

我知道我没有在做自己完全不喜欢的工作（不一定是最喜欢但是还是喜欢的），我争取做我喜欢做的方向。我在地理位置上完全远离了父母。我自己攒钱。可是我觉得自己还是不够努力。