玩笑

A JOKE

Stan/Kyle

Chapter 1 It was a bright winter midday… There was a sharp snapping frost and the curls on Kyle's temples and the down on his upper lip were covered with silvery frost. Kyle couldn't remember why he had agreed on Stan's sudden idea of going to Aspen, where they've once been to and rarely returned because since 8 years old they've all considered skiing as a dumb sport. Stan was standing on the top of the slope, somehow far away from Kyle, from where there stretched a smooth sloping descent in which the sun was reflected as in a looking-glass. He felt so untouchable, Kyle thought to himself. They grew up, and they grew apart. Something must've gone wrong during those repetitive high school days. Kyle paid more attention to his own academic performance and extracurricular activities than to his best friend's band rehearsals and football matches, the choice went along with the decisive ambition to leave their rundown town and drifted Kyle away from his childhood friends and acquaintance, including Stan. They still kept their routine schedule of being together with best friend, though both of them sensed the distance growing between. Stan of all people understood how eagerly Kyle needed to leave South Park and commence his own new life beginning with Ivy League schools and Law schools acceptance, he knew him too well to protest or to win back his attention. All kept by default, at the bottom of heart. When Stan showed up in front of Broflovskis' house, Kyle hadn't received any messages, and he's confused at first. "Go to Aspen?" "Yeah, the Christmas time, your family has got the best timeshare of our common condo, remember that?" Stan said as if it's their basic routine to go skiing around Christmas. Kyle wanted to say, dude, we've ignored that place as much as we've ignored our childhood history, instead of which, he just answered plainly, yes. Exactly the kind of compromise settled between them after all these past years, Kyle never felt so hard to refuse someone's proposal, except Stan's. They informed their parents and fortunately, none of the parents wanted to come along, because of their wrong real estate investment trauma, Kyle supposed, and they packed up more clothing and gears for skiing and set off right away the next day. Grown up in snow-covered mountains, as if both of them weren't familiar enough with coldness and snowy winter sports. They didn't really speak much on the road. Kyle could remember so vividly their first trip to Aspen, and he wondered how his family rarely went back to the skiing destination, twice maybe, at most three times he'd recalled, and each time he went without Stan though he's still in elementary school, the memory blurring in his brain. He's never been good at skiing, unlike Stan, who managed to perform well for the first time and raced twice the best skier in Aspen and defeated him finally on the K-13 route. Kyle couldn't help smiling, his shoulders shaking slightly behind the safety belts and he's in the passenger seat, Stan noticed. "What? What are you laughing for?" He asked. "The first time we've been there, and how we skied all day without our parents, haven't you ever found it a bit weird?" "Weird for our childhood?" "Weird how some stranger skier picked on you." "Guess that happens to every child." No, Kyle thought, that only happens to us. Stan was driving on the road of the suburban area leading right to the Aspen mountain at the foot of which seated the Condo building along with other real estate built these years. According to Randy's information, their sharing condo's value had actually grown a considerable part compared to the original price and he's been discussing with Gerald about selling it. Stan told the whole story to Kyle, "I say, we should take the opportunity of our last chance of using the condo." "That's what you thought, Stan, really?" "And to check if the youth center still exists." Stan said without facial expression, but his voice was lighthearted and amusing. Kyle loves when Stan acts like this, he still felt comfortable with Stan being around under no matter what situation. Especially a ski trip on a whim. For a ski destination, things usually don't change a lot. Even so, the accommodations and entertaining equipment had updated clearly to catch up with the smart control system by putting up lots of LED screens and lights, monitors connected with computers, and so on. When they arrived at the parking lot and shifted their luggage into the reception hall of the building, the impression shocked them for its unchangeable appearance after about ten years. They entered the apartment and saw the small whiteboard with a chart on it planning the schedule of time-sharing. The predecessor should be Butter's parents and considering the dustproof plastic bag-covered furniture, they haven't come to enjoy the ski vacation, either. Kyle dropped his luggage in the living room and exhaled a little sigh. Stan looked at him and grinned, "Maybe they're selling it because they're not using it." "Did you see Butters at our graduation party?" Stan has already put aside their luggage next to the hallway's door and lifted the plastic bag away, waving to Kyle to sit down. He's the one more organized with Kyle, he tends to take care of everyone around him for the responsibility he's developed during adolescence. "If we didn't even hang out with Butters anymore, why would the parents have a connection?" Kyle leaned on the other side of the couch and shrugged, "that's why they're selling it, Stan." "Notice how this place hasn't changed at all?" "I bet the diner room is now exactly the same as when we were kids." "May find Ike's scarf there." Kyle opened wide his eyes and smiled, "Oh you still remember that, Ike lost his scarf." "He's been crying all the way back." Ike had cried for a while, Kyle wrapped him up with his own scarf and that didn’t work, it was Stan who soothed him after all by singing a blizzard-related song. "We're getting sucked into it." "Into what?" Stan stared back, said in a calm voice, he's been too emotionally stable for a trip, which even cooled down Kyle's excitement and he decided to hide it until Stan gets more motivated although he's the initial one to ask to go to Aspen. "Sucked into our loop of childhood memory." Chapter 2 Notes: this chapter is basically a rewriting of Chekhov's story I really want to convey some nuance in English about their relationship but couldn't make it anyway hope you still find this story interesting

By the sunset, seeing through the windows of the condo, the light reflected on the tip of the snow-covered hills, bringing a touch of soft pink aura that was almost tangible. Kyle sat alone by the window, wondering when Stan would come back. In spite of the tiredness of driving, Stan didn't wait for tomorrow to explore their surroundings in Aspen, he settled down all their luggage and seemed urgent to go out. Kyle was not pleased to be left alone, and he asked more indirectly, "You wanna go skiing right now?" "It's afternoon, we've got plenty of time." "I mean, eh, you've been driving for hours, you can use some rest." "Thanks, Kyle, but I'm okay." Stan's already put on the coat and the gloves, he's picking up the skis and goggles, eyes focusing on the gear bag. "Wow, you are that desperate to see our instructor, huh?" Kyle said with an intonation to distract him. "What's his name again?" "Dude." "I can't remember, that was years ago." "You were the one who spent a good time training with some hot redheaded girl and the goofy instructor." "Yeah, and you're the one who waited for the prince to triumph." "Well, since you mentioned it, I was not willing to do so." Kyle enjoyed making these small conversations with Stan, not minding if their rips-of cycle went around all over again, but Stan put an end to it by raising his head and saying goodbye. "Should I wait for you for dinner?"

"Don't think so, I'll tell you what happens when I come back." Stan left and shut the door. Kyle spent the afternoon doing a little tour in their condo and the whole building, around nightfall his impatience and anxiety were growing and he went down to the diner room and ordered some generic vacation hotel food. He's tried to go out and look for Stan, yet about the second step into the thick snow blocking the way to the youth center or the Bunny Slope, he regretted and turned back with a glimpse of four kids running around and laughing, like the impersonation of his old clique, himself, Stan, Cartman, and Butters. Stan kinda barged into the apartment, he was panting and exhaled white, whirring breaths due to the indoor temperature. There still left some snow on his shoulders. "It's so warm inside." Kyle approached and helped to pat the snow off his coat, "You did go skiing, didn't you?" Stan's eyes were light up by the heat, or by the sight of Kyle, his face was still blushing because of physical exercise. Kyle could almost see a thin slick of sweats on his front, mixing with the cold frost, he was hypnotized for a second with the combination of Stan's boyish fever and the cooling frost. "I saw Thumper, our instructor." "He's still training kids?" "He's training adults now," Stan said with a smirk, Thumper was already too dorky for kids to cope with his little prep talk, Kyle just couldn't imagine what it would be like for the adults. "The adults are supportive," Stan replied, "It's all about having a good time." "Not that again." Stan wouldn't've spent that much time with their old instructor, Kyle oppressed his urge to ask more questions, such as, did you go to the youth center? It's still the same location? You met some hot girl who voluntarily offered to be your girlfriend during the trip? Teen skier picked on you like we're in an 80s teen movie? "you'll always be the protagonist of any kind of sports movie." Stan was holding a cup of hot tea, made by Kyle. "what was that supposed to mean?" "Be good at sports, and the star QB for the college team." "Kyle, I'd like to teach you to ski anytime you want." Kyle snorted, "How about tomorrow? My own private skiing instructor, full time, no rest break." "For sure." The silence fell between them again. Stan told about his encounter with some staff in the youth center, but mostly about finding a great slope for them(for Kyle) to practice skiing and a special hidden angle someone recommended to him on the K-13 run for a sleigh ride. The next day they got up in the morning and went to another cable lift to ski down a smooth descending slope. There weren't as many tourists and skiers as Kyle had expected. They didn’t wait for long, and the ski run was pretty much empty the whole morning, Kyle was glad he's spared with the embarrassment of people watching him learning how to ski. The same feeling as a kid, when he bent down his knees only feeling clumsy and annoying of himself, repeating the two primary feet positions, the pizza, and the French fries. Stan was smiling all the time with his graceful patience and tenderness, consoling Kyle who's on his point of the emotional break. After the lunch, as he's planned in advance, Stan proposed, "C'mon, let's go to the K-13 run." Kyle had it enough with skiing, Stan promised him this time would be totally different with a sleigh ride, much more like the rollercoaster. The way climbing up onto the K-13 run was tiresome, but not actually dangerous or fatal as Kyle had thought when he's a kid, crying out in his heart trying to snatch his best friend from the stupid race. "Stan, why did you race that kid?" Kyle asked all of sudden. "'Cause I was the protagonist of the sports movie." "Never use my words against me." Stan laughed and gripped Kyle by the wrist, "I thought about it last night, maybe what Kyle Broflovski says would always make sense and make a point." "haha, thanks a lot." "I mean it, Kyle, or else we wouldn't be here right now if I had never asked you out." Stan was dragging the sledge in which they're supposed to take a ride, it was a little sleigh with red velvet cloth on both sides. The red was so obvious on the snow that it almost blinked the eyes. "Let us go down." Stan said in a low voice. At the top of the run, they had a panoramic view of the whole Aspen skiing section. It was bright winter midday, one didn’t need to search for the sunshine because the whole mountain and hills were reflecting the sharply white, dizzy light. Kyle was afraid. The slope from his boots to the bottom of the ice hill seemed to him a terrible, immensely deep abyss. The same abyss where he's convinced to lose again his best friend. He'd never probe into Stan's mind to ask him, why have you chosen the risk of losing your life over me. Kyle held his breath when he looked down into the precipice, he's almost fainted. "Kyle, let's go down." "We would fly into the abyss like a train running out of rail." Stan stepped next to his right, "I've tried sleigh riding before, and it's perfectly safe." Kyle looked into Stan's eyes, his own filled with confusion and deeply hidden terror. "I didn't mean to spoil this trip or something, Stan, it's just…why would you always choose to, take the risk?" Stan responded by holding tight Kyle's hand as if he's afraid that Kyle would turn away and never come back. "Are we trying to prove something important?" "I assure you everything will be all right." Stan said to him as if he's making a promise. Kyle sighed and finally nodded. Kyle was pale and his hands trembled a bit when he gripped tight onto the sleigh's red cloth. Stan sat behind him, wrapped his arms around Kyle's waist without thinking, backing him up with his own chest. The sledge flew like a bullet. The air cleft by the flight beat in their faces, roared, whistled in the ears. The wind tore at them and tried to tear their hands off the sledge. Kyle even lost the strength to breathe from the pressure of the wind, it seemed as though the devil had caught him and was dragging him down to hell, and the cage of Stan's arms was the single protection keeping him from harm. Another moment the sledge plummeted and the screaming voice in Kyle's mind was he would die. "I love you, Kyle!" The sledge began to slow down, the wind was no longer roaring and tame down. Kyle's started to breathe again without noticing it. Soon they landed at the bottom. Kyle's lips pale and parted, his whole body was stiff in Stan's embrace, the red curls shaking with his each exhales. Stan helped him to get up. "I'll never try again," Kyle's back to life slowly, "Nothing in the whole world can make me do that again." Stan smiled and his right hand stroked Kyle's back all the way till the redhead was acting normal again. They then took a long walk down the K-13 run without talking, but Kyle's holding hands with Stan, and both of them found it natural and comfortable. Kyle broke the silence first as if something disturbed him deeply, "Have you heard anything during the ride?" "The wind was screaming." "Anything else?" "No," Stan stared into Kyle's eyes, "I didn't hear anything."

Chap 3

They spent their night hanging around in the youth center. The main wall they saw as they marched in was where hanging the photo and a little honorable tablet of Stan Marsh, the kid who miraculously won the K-13 race and saved the center. Kyle almost burst into laughter when he saw it, since the photo also captured a very happy Kyle and a confused Stan, even Cartman and Butters were in it. "They didn't get the best shot for you." "C'mon, I've tried to talk them into removing that stuff." "But why? It's cute, Stan, we were cute." Kyle was recovering slowly from the aftermath of the sleigh ride and seemed to forget all about hearing a voice on that ride. Stan could tell he's still suspected whether it was true or illusional. Stan went upstage and played guitar for the local club band for one song, then he stood in front of the microphone and claimed he wrote a song about his friend. Kyle was all blushing and shy away, moving slowly to the gate, and was about to escape once Stan starts to sing about him, but luckily Stan just sang a song with vague and loving lyrics, not targeting at any specific person.

They returned to the condo, both exhausted and after a shower, Stan went to bed quickly without saying goodnight.

Stan was almost asleep as he heard Kyle knocking on the door gently, meanwhile he's whispering something in a low voice that was almost muffled behind the door. "Kyle? Is that you? Just come on in," Stan sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes, "The door is open." Kyle didn't turn on the light and Stan didn't bother to turn on the landing lamp either, so the whole room was dark, all Stan could see was a streak of moonlight or the reflection of snow shed on the floor, and Kyle walked in bare-footed. "What's wrong, dude?" "S…Stan," his voice shaking, "I dreamed of free-falling." Stan could feel Kyle's throat clenching, it sounded like he's about to sob a little and he's suppressing his emotion at all his force. "Come here." Stan lift up his quilt and moved to the left side of the bed. Kyle climbed up the bed and nestled against Stan's arm, Stan was stung by how cold his neck was, freezing through his thin pajamas, waking him up. "Did you stand there the whole night, your skin is freezing." Stan wrapped his shoulder with the arm, wanted to warm him up out of instinct. "Listen…I dreamed of you knocked out of the sled and falling into the abyss." Kyle said, holding Stan's hand. Stan clenched Kyle's hand, which was also frozen as a stone, and tried to sound lighthearted, "I'm right here, Kyle, that's why dreams are only dreams." They waited till Kyle got all warmed up and Stan loosely holding Kyle to fall back on the bed and put up the quilt and blanket. "Wanna sleep over here?" Kyle laughed softly, "I thought it's our common room." "Kyle can sleep wherever he wants." Stan replied lazily. Maybe Stan being all energetic in the daytime was because he slept well like a baby at night, Kyle could almost sense the boy's breath was becoming regular and heavy. "Stan, I don't wanna sleep yet." "Huh…" "I don't want you to sleep yet." Kyle demanded. Stan was never angry at him, and he adjusted his head to find a comfortable angle to rest upon Kyle's shoulder. "I can do that," He was shaking his head, "stay up all night for you, dude." "Stan, did you try to avoid me in high school?" Stan was not expecting the subject to convert so promptly, and he kept silent for a while before answering it, "Nope." "Then are you sick of me or…" Stan smiled underneath Kyle's ear, "No, why would I, I like you, Kyle. Of all people in South Park. I was afraid that I could lose you if I didn't try hard to keep you." Kyle put his hands on Stan's waist, holding it, pulling himself closer. "You've never talked to me face to face since we parted for college. And all of a sudden you popped up and be like, hey, Kyle, how about going to ski so we can repair our friendship, I'm afraid you're losing the title of the best fri…" Stan managed to muffle Kyle's words with his palm, "I love you, Kyle." Then the whole room fell silent again, the two could hear each other's breathing and feel the heartbeat, slow and firm. "Can you please say that again?" Kyle shut his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against Stan's front head. "That was the only chance." They both laughed inside, Kyle continued, "I'm sorry. But here's something, uh, I was scared. I guess I never really understood why you like skiing, the sleigh ride, or why you've chosen to play football. I began to…I no longer know you so well…" "So you still trynna know me?" Kyle snorted at the sarcasm and nodded. "Good enough for us." "Stan, you see, I thought you were seeking some sensational excitement through sports, or whatever extreme music genre you're into." "Sounds reasonable and very judgmental." "You know what I mean." Stan started to touch Kyle's back neck with his nose, the red curls smelling fresh and chilling, and his voice was hoarse, "Not exactly, maybe I was mentally dependent on sports, but nothing serious or traumatized." "Stan…" "Did you ever feel like you're losing me?" "In my dream, you were falling and I couldn't catch you." "I just wouldn't let it happen." Stan didn't want to talk about it anymore and fell asleep, Kyle opened his eyes slowly. He moved away a bit from Stan to stare and contemplate at his sleeping face. Stan was breathing steadily, oblivious to the night fallen between them.