Vol. 152 A sudden update

When we finish the Christmas celebrating, the new year greeting begins.

Now I catch the song, Christmas Knot from Eason Chen, a HK singer who has magnetic voice and millions of beautiful songs, thinking about the whole year of myself, colorful but...

Jan, I met a boy, actually met again. He was my alumnus, we met in 12 or 13 years old, when we were both in the cram school in a summer. Still remember he was arrogant and smart, teacher said. We were in the some middle school and high school due to geographical reason. But we did not have much connection because we didn't in the some class.

Heard he failed to the satisfying college, and got in an ideal college in the next year in Zhejiang province.

After graduated, he worked in Hangzhou then moved to Shanghai because his families were there. Everthing with him was steady and comfortable as a financial sales.

We got connected because the same relatives. You know in China, the spring festival is a big rally. People all over the country came back home and communicated together. They actually had no many things to do but to finds some gossips of young people, especially someone already approached 30s but still have no BF or GF, like me.

After negotiation between my aunt and his aunt, we have a romote blind date. And decide to give it a try because we didn't hate each other. Ridiculous right? We didn't quit to connect because we didn't hate each other not like each other.

Guess what? It is normal among my peers because it's tough for us to find somone fit us well and we fall in love at the first sight. We already accepted to cultivate the feeling with both efforts. See, the life is tough, also the love.

I felt he liked me several weeks later and sometimes I cannot sleep because of him. But gradually, I felt I did not like him and when he said like me and asked if I can be his GF, I said pls gave me some time. About one week later, I told him, sorry, I... don't like you.

I told him over a wechat call. He was calmer than I imagined. In the coming days, he didn't connect me at all. Sometimes I considered why boys were all the same, never persist on pursuing, and so resolute (I don't want to say hardhearted because I was the one who refused him). Without hesitation, the relationship was over in May.

continue...

After this inexplicit relationship, I felt increasing fear about blind dating with someone introduced by relatives. Because I didn't want to the same story happen again.

I was wandering for several months and busy with bullshit works.

Normally I came back home alone twice a week, enjoyed the weekend with my families, no worries about what to eat and where to kill time, how to make life meaningful. Time in homtown is quick and totally relaxing, full of fresh air and beautiful sceneries.

I assumed few of my peers could enjoy this. I was lucky.

But I did a few to my works. I didn't 100% like the current working status, dull, hypocritical and time wasting. But tough for me to start another career for now. I am lack of courage. I totally realized the conditions I was in, but I didn't carry on the self-learning process long long ago. That's ridiculous.

A girl did nothing but grumbled.

continue...

I'm gonna step into my 28 year old. In this beautiful age, lots of pressure comes, especially marriage. I'm sure it's a good age to get marriage and I never drop to find an ideal one to grow together. But unluckily, I didn't find him yet.

Lots of targeted ads were distributed to my homepage of social media. The platforms know I am their potential customer, I am bored but I can forgive them.

There's only one day left. Kill it like the past or cherish it like you ever did, all your choice.

That's it.