Rick and Morty S3 E9 subitiles 瑞克与莫提 第三季第九集 字幕5

本集大概是我这辈子都忘不了的，最残酷的一集动画，超越了S1 E6毁掉平行世界那集。 一个男孩被关在一个宇宙里，靠吃自己的后代来生存。平庸的人和一个习惯于狩猎异族的女外星人交往，分手差点被杀。F*k up God告诉他女儿，宇宙残忍的真相： 我很坏吗？ 更糟，你很聪明。当你知道一切都不重要时，整个宇宙都会是你的。而我从没见过一个宇宙喜欢这样的。宇宙就是一头野兽。它以凡人为食。创造出无数的白痴只是为了吃掉他们。和你的朋友 Timmy 没有什么不同。 是 Tommy。 现在这些都不重要了，亲爱的。聪明人有机会爬到顶峰，骑在现实背上，但现实会不停的试着把你甩下去。并且，最终，它会成功。没有别的出路。 （翻译直接来自 http://dhew.org/） 鲁迅狂人日记控诉封建社会的本质是吃人。丹哈萌和Roiland的Rick说，宇宙就是吃人的野兽。 Dad? I feel like I've spent my life pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been... That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. Am I evil? Worse. You're smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy. Tommy. Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it'll never stop trying to throw you. And, eventually, it will. There's no other way off. 以下全集字幕 1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,400 <i>In local news, child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip</i> 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,140 <i>is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection,</i> 3 00:00:05,170 --> 00:00:07,840 <i>his execution already drawing dozens more spectators</i> 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,680 <i>than the death of TV news. Carla?</i> 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,050 <i>The man that once ate his own son...</i> 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,650 Wow. He's really getting executed after all this time. 7 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:16,750 You know the son that he ate was... 8 00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:18,150 Your best friend... Tommy. 9 00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,250 We know. Stop true-crime bragging. 10 00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,890 I was traumatized, Summer. 11 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,990 Okay, your generation wouldn't get that. 12 00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:23,260 Bitch, my generation 13 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,990 gets traumatized for breakfast. 14 00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:27,560 It took years of therapy to even process the reality. 15 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,930 I mean, when I was a kid, 16 00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:30,970 I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost 17 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,200 in the magical realm of Froopyland. 18 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,140 "Froopyland?" My make-believe world. 19 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,810 I know the name's stupid, but it was so real to me. 20 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,170 Aren't you guys supposed to be at your father's 21 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,680 for custody weekend? 22 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:42,840 We're not in a hurry. Dad sleeps until sundown. 23 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,250 Can we talk a little bit more about this Froopy... 24 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,580 Not the bubble gun! 25 00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,550 There's no air... 26 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,290 I gotta say, I am warming up to the bubble gun. 27 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,720 You know, if you're so great at naming things, 28 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,950 why don't you do it from now on? 29 00:00:53,990 --> 00:00:55,220 - What? - Froopyland. 30 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,460 Was it my best work? I don't know. 31 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,130 Does it deserve to be shit on creatively? 32 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,830 Yeah, that's right. 33 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,260 I agree with your look of horrified realization. 34 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,900 You can be very inconsiderate sometimes. 35 00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:07,640 Here it is. 36 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,100 You know, I collapsed a quantum tesseract to... 37 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,170 Dad, I don't care how you made it. 38 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:11,710 I want to know if Tommy's still in there! 39 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:13,210 Relax, Beth. 40 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,910 If he is, we'll find him. 41 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:16,510 He'll be the only sun-bleached skeleton 42 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,010 with non-imaginary DNA. 43 00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:46,900 ♪ 44 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:51,340 Synced by ElectricBump www.addic7ed.com 45 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,330 Tommy! 46 00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:55,540 This is a nightmare. 47 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,800 I can't believe you used to lock me up 48 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,340 in this glorified chicken coop. 49 00:01:58,370 --> 00:01:59,840 Chicken coop? 50 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,840 Those are procedurally generated clouds, Beth. 51 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,810 That river is a rainbow. Literally. 52 00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:06,050 Come on, I-I-I put real elbow grease into this place. 53 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,780 Well, you're supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter! 54 00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:09,120 Gross. 55 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:10,820 Do you think something ate him? Nope. 56 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:12,190 Froopyland creatures were designed to be harmless. 57 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,020 He definitely just starved to death. 58 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:15,690 I could have been the one who starved to death in here. 59 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,060 What if I'd gotten hurt? 60 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,420 God, you're right. I'm a terrible dad. 61 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,190 Well, nothing to live for. 62 00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,960 Goodbye, cruel world! Dad! 63 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,760 Oh, how do you like that? 64 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,670 What kind of merciless creator makes the ground bouncy? 65 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,840 I'm gonna have to drown myself. 66 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,300 Unh! 67 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,800 Oh, no. Oh, the water's breathable? 68 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:32,870 Who went and did that? 69 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:33,940 Oh, whatever. 70 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,240 Yeah, whatever. 71 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,010 A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2, 72 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,380 and it breaks the front page of Reddit, 73 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,410 but I'm Charles Manson because I gave you 74 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,020 your own world instead of an iPad. 75 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,820 I think the words you're looking for are... Aah! 76 00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:46,250 Holy ［bleep］ ［bleep］ This thing has claws! 77 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,020 Yeah, I get it. It's a childproof world. 78 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,320 No, no, seriously, this hurts really bad! 79 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,360 This thing is sinking razor-sharp claws in... 80 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,890 Aah! ［bleep］ 81 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,360 You've made your point, Dad. 82 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,460 Dad? 83 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:02,140 Ugh! 84 00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:05,170 Whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing? 85 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,070 I think it's supposed to help prevent abandonment issues. 86 00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:08,440 I want to be abandoned. 87 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,080 Yeah, I'm talking about Dad. 88 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,950 Bienvenue a la Chez Divorced Dad. 89 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:13,480 Wow, Dad. 90 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,950 Your place looks way less like a crackhouse. 91 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:18,450 It's actually clean, like a cocaine house. 92 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,790 Dad, what's going on? 93 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,850 I'm simply centered, activated... 94 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,190 And telekinetic? 95 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:25,190 Pretty cool, huh? 96 00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,130 Check it out. Who wants a smoothie? 97 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,860 Oh... Oh, no. Uh, oh, God. 98 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,170 Summer... Summer, can you... 99 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,400 - Aah! - Sorry. 100 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,670 You have much to learn, my Uloo. 101 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,140 Morty, Summer, this is Kiara. 102 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,010 She's a Krootabulan warrior priestess 103 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,340 from Krootabulon. 104 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,380 I-I know where Krootabulans are from, Dad. 105 00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,810 Uh, Chaimuntolo. 106 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:46,910 Chaimuntolo, younglings. 107 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,920 Hymen... cholo. 108 00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,620 Your father's mind holds love for you. 109 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,450 I am humbled to meet in physicality. 110 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:53,920 Dad, are you... 111 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,890 In love with a badass, sexy alien lady? 112 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:59,160 Ha, ha, I don't know, Summer. You tell me. 113 00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:00,890 I wasn't going to ask if you were in love 114 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,100 since you barely know her. 115 00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:03,630 Summer. 116 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,470 Kiara and I met on that interstellar dating service 117 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,270 Rick was always suggesting 118 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,400 when your mom and I were together. 119 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,240 And things just kind of clicked. 120 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:11,270 We must move! 121 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,040 Our reservation is at 7:00. 122 00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,810 I hate to see her leave, 123 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,810 but I love to watch her phase shift away. 124 00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:19,780 I'm sure you noticed what she has three of, 125 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,980 but guess what she has two of? 126 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,650 Oof! 127 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,050 All right, knock it off! 128 00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:29,460 Listen, I've been giving you a pass 129 00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:31,520 because I'm charmed that life finds a way, but... 130 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,430 Aah! All right, you know what? 131 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,800 Ouch! 132 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,200 Oh! Unh! 133 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:39,100 Ouch! God! 134 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,800 Aah! 135 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,540 Agh! 136 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:45,340 Oh, Dad, this place is the safest. 137 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:47,040 Best dad ever. 138 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,210 Can't you just say, "I admit it, I screwed up"? 139 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,510 Uh, what would be the point of that? 140 00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,880 You can't do it, can you? 141 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,110 You can't just ［bleep］ apologize. 142 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,350 Okay, okay, Beth, I'm sorry... 143 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,280 you think you deserve an apology. 144 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,220 Hey, don't look at me. 145 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:01,890 You let your kid roll around on the floor of a target, 146 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,090 it's gonna get stepped on. 147 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,430 Huh. Well, here's the problem right here. 148 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:12,130 We've got a bunch of Froopyland procedural carbons 149 00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,530 all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA. 150 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:15,700 Are you saying Tommy survived here 151 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,170 by having sex with Froopy creatures, 152 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,340 creating Froopy-human hybrid offspring, 153 00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:20,510 and then consuming their proteins, 154 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,440 sustaining himself with an endless cycle of cannibalistic incest? 155 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,640 It's just a working theory. 156 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,140 Of course, if that's the case, 157 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,580 I expect he'd be worshiped as a kind of god 158 00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:27,850 by a medieval-level society 159 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,020 of his least-delicious children. 160 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,620 Halt! 161 00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:31,650 You are now prisoners of our exalted ruler, 162 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:32,990 giver and taker of life, 163 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,920 helper and consumer of mortality, 164 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,360 dispenser of life... Yes, if I could interrupt? 165 00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:37,590 We're way ahead of the reveal here. 166 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,190 Yeah, just take us to King Tommy. 167 00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:40,760 I thought warrior priestesses 168 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,430 could only leave Krootabulon on a hunt. 169 00:05:42,460 --> 00:05:43,560 Mmm. Thank you, sweetie. 170 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,970 I hope it's not human season. 171 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,600 I'm on Earth hunting the Varrix. I would never hunt a human. 172 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,500 Your father and I are soul-bonded. 173 00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,940 Soul-bonded? 174 00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,540 Um, does your planet have shorter days, 175 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,480 because you guys are moving kind of fast, no? 176 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,320 Go get him, honey! 177 00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:05,490 She's always hunting. 178 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,250 She probably knew a Varrix worked here, 179 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:09,620 and that's why she said the Yelp reviews didn't matter. 180 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,360 Dad, do you understand 181 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:13,190 how serious Krootabulon soul-bonding is? 182 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:16,830 Uh, gee, Morty, I don't know. It's got such a casual name. 183 00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:18,230 If you want to lecture anyone about commitment, 184 00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:19,670 start with your mom. 185 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:22,270 Oh, my God. Dad, is that what this is about? 186 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,200 Are you rushing into a new thing to get back at Mom? 187 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,470 Every weekend, you two have told me to move on. 188 00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,270 Move on, like, out of bed. 189 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,210 Like, stop using paper towels for toilet paper, 190 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,580 not move on into a sloppy rebound. 191 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,250 Dad, you need to slow down, rethink this soul bond. 192 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,480 Why don't you just say what you really mean? 193 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,550 You think it's cool 194 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:40,650 that having sex with her gives me telekinesis 195 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,520 and you recognize she's got a hot bod 196 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,290 like Cheetara in "Thundercats," 197 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:45,590 but you're grossed out 198 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,260 by her avocado-shaped head and blue skin, 199 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,930 and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head. 200 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:54,030 After all the time and energy I spent 201 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,300 teaching you two about race... 202 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,070 you ended up racist. 203 00:06:58,470 --> 00:07:00,010 Soon your world will be rid of Varrix. 204 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,110 Tomorrow, we celebrate. 205 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,410 We could take the kids to the water park. 206 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,550 We celebrate with a hunt! 207 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,450 Ooh. You kids want to hunt? 208 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,550 - Yes. - Yes. 209 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,390 All kneel for King Tommy! 210 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,290 I'm not kneeling. Suck my ［bleep］ 211 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,360 Well, hello, all! 212 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,830 I am the King of Froopyland, 213 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,360 but I go by another name, too. 214 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,160 We know. It's Tommy! 215 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,430 - We know. - We know. 216 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:28,500 I have lived here since I was a mere child. 217 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:29,700 - We know. - Got it. 218 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,170 I suppose you're wondering, 219 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:33,270 how do I sustain myself? 220 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,570 - Oh, boy. - No, we aren't. 221 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:36,440 I always find the theater 222 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,680 is the best way to clarify things. 223 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,750 - Ugh. - Seriously? 224 00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:41,910 Oh, my God. Players, go! 225 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,420 I am little Tommy. 226 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,320 I am tiny Beth. 227 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,290 Oh, come on. 228 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,290 Come with me to a magic land. 229 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,590 Don't do it! 230 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,790 This is my secret Froopyland 231 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,500 where I have no rules! 232 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,200 I am excited. 233 00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:02,240 I am jealous of Tommy's friends and his Nintendo 234 00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:04,440 and his dad who likes him. 235 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,570 I take it Tommy wasn't class playwright. 236 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,710 You want to see the Honey Swamp? 237 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,580 Yes! Let's do it! 238 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,510 Well, I want to see you dead. 239 00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:14,780 Ow, help! I'm stuck! 240 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,320 I'm covered in honey. 241 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:17,780 Huh. Well, that's interesting. 242 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,190 Fake news. 243 00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:21,320 Many nights have passed, 244 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,690 trapped in this strange land. 245 00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:28,860 I am hungry, and all I can do to pass the time is hump. 246 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,460 I will hump this rock. 247 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,430 I will hump this tree. 248 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,570 I will hump this beast of the land 249 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,240 and put my seed in it. 250 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:45,180 I am the first of Tommy's children. 251 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:48,710 Eat of my flesh so you may survive. 252 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,350 And so I did. 253 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:52,790 Oh, wow. 254 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,320 Okay. Yeah. 255 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,590 Certified fresh. Good... Good job. 256 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,530 Perhaps a demonstration is in order. 257 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,630 - No, that is the last thing that is in order! - Ugh. 258 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,160 Oh, my God. Poor Froopy character. 259 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,160 Leave him alone. 260 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,100 Ahh. Gather round, gang! 261 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,170 Dinner time. 262 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:12,340 All right, that's it. I'm outta here. 263 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,010 What are you doing? 264 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,370 We're in the middle of an adventure. 265 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,180 Here's some things an adventure needs, Beth. 266 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,280 Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit, 267 00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,780 and, clearly, Morty. 268 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,350 But Tommy's still in there, 269 00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,120 raping Muppets and eating babies. 270 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,650 Yep. Luckily, that's not our problem. 271 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,750 Time to pull the plug. 272 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,190 Pull the plug? 273 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,890 We have to get Tommy out of there, okay? 274 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,360 We... We need to do the right thing. 275 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,530 Do what you never did as a dad... 276 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,730 Put in a little effort. 277 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,460 All right, cut the high-road routine. 278 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,660 We both saw Tommy's shitty play. 279 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,500 You pushed him in the Honey Swamp, Beth. 280 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,170 His very happy life is in your hands. 281 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,900 You go save him from it. 282 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,370 You're gonna believe a play over your own daughter? 283 00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:46,670 Yes, I am, Beth, because you're not my own daughter. 284 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,540 Oh, God, yes. 285 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:48,810 I'm one of infinite Beths 286 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,010 with infinite fathers in infinite universes. 287 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,610 It's called a hug, Dad. It won't kill you. 288 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:53,850 Yeah, don't be so sure. 289 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,350 You know why all Ricks made a Froopyland 290 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:56,520 for all their little girls? 291 00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:57,920 Same reason I wasn't surprised 292 00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,690 by Tommy's overwritten, badly structured, 293 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,350 cheaply produced flashback. 294 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:02,860 You were a scary ［bleep］ kid, man. 295 00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,590 Oh, my God. 296 00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:06,430 I didn't make Froopyland to get rid of you, Beth. 297 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,160 I did it to protect the neighborhood. 298 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,600 Not in a noble sense. 299 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,260 It was just more practical to sequester you 300 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,670 before I had to start, you know, cloning a replacement 301 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,340 for every less-than-polite little boy or gullible animal 302 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,170 that might cross your socio-path. 303 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:20,410 You would rather believe I'm evil 304 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,510 than admit that you were a bad father? 305 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:23,210 Oh, dude, no. 306 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,780 No, bad father all the way to the max over here. 307 00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,350 I'm a ［bleep］ nutcase. 308 00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,050 And the acorn plopped straight down, baby. 309 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,450 Look at some of this shit 310 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,920 you were asking me to make you as a kid. 311 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,350 Ray guns. 312 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,820 A whip that forces people to like you. 313 00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:37,990 Invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun, 314 00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,490 a teddy bear with anatomically correct innards, 315 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:44,530 night-vision googly-eye glasses, sound-erasing sneakers, 316 00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:47,500 false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts, 317 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,900 a lie-detecting doll, an indestructible baseball bat, 318 00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:54,910 a Taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge, 319 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:58,480 location-tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape, 320 00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:01,880 mind-control hair clips, poison gum, 321 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,820 a pink, sentient switchblade. 322 00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:05,480 Hi, Beth, you've gotten taller. 323 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,620 Shall we resume stabbing? 324 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:07,850 Has it occurred to you 325 00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,260 that I asked you to make those things 326 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,020 because I wanted you to spend time with me? 327 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:13,760 Has it occurred to you that <i>if</i> I did try killing Tommy, 328 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,760 it might be because I was jealous of his family? 329 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:16,420 Wait, what? Why? 330 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,560 Wasn't his dad, like, some kind of cannibal? 331 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,830 Seems like it must be hereditary. 332 00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,970 Oh, my God. This is your fault. 333 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,300 I am not a bad person. 334 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:24,500 I'm gonna go back in there, 335 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,640 I'm getting Tommy, and I'm fixing this! 336 00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:30,410 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 337 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,740 I don't know why I just said that. 338 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,310 Doesn't make a lot of sense, but gotta stand by it. 339 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,100 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 340 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,820 I'm owning it. 341 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,550 No, Dad! You're not doing it right! 342 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,620 Cutting off their heads isn't doing it right? 343 00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:47,820 They're clearly regenerative! 344 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:50,190 I-I think you have to stab them through the heart or something. 345 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,960 You think or you know? 346 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:54,090 I thought you were the alien expert, Isaac Asi-hole. 347 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,960 Don't snap at me! I'm tired! 348 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,760 - Me, too! - We're all tired! 349 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,870 That's the last of them. 350 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,200 Tonight, we celebrate. 351 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,370 With a hunt? 352 00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:10,080 Yes, for tomorrow, we hunt. 353 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:20,290 I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond. 354 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,820 - What the ［bleep］ Dad? - Oh, my God! Duh! 355 00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:22,860 - Obviously! - Yeah, no kidding! 356 00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:23,890 Can you guys help me? 357 00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,190 What? How? 358 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:27,090 Can I just, uh, tell her it's because of my kids? 359 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,800 You know, like, you don't like the shape of her head, or... 360 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,830 That's you, Dad! That's<i> you!</i> 361 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,970 You're a baby and an idiot! 362 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,940 I think that's been established, Summer. Now help me! 363 00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,400 First, I want you to admit 364 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,870 that you're a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, 365 00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:42,040 and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation 366 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,280 by only thinking of yourself. 367 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:44,340 Okay. 368 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,080 I want to hear you say it. 369 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,080 Look, I'm a closeted racist, 370 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,980 and I'm sexist and selfish, 371 00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:55,090 and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things 372 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,860 because I'm stupid. Thank you. 373 00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:58,860 Now you're gonna help me, right? She just did. 374 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,760 Yeah, clean up your own mess. 375 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,700 Wait, wait, what? 376 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,260 Oh, man. 377 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,170 All right, everybody. 378 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,630 Next item on the docket... 379 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,840 I would like to have sex with some of you, 380 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,400 and then eat the babies. 381 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,870 I thought you'd like that. 382 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,710 I do keep rolling out the hits, don't I? 383 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:19,650 Oh! It's the Magic Crayon Lady! 384 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,210 Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. 385 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,920 And by "make dinner," I mean... 386 00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:26,650 Tommy, I'm going to take you to the real world. 387 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,050 Well, this<i> is</i> the real world. 388 00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:29,690 No, you don't understand! Your dad... 389 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,420 Uh, people think your dad ate you! 390 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,160 So? You doy-oy! 391 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:34,660 People should eat people. 392 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:35,860 Just leave me alone! 393 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,660 Tommy, you don't understand. 394 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,960 I have to make this right 395 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 because it's my fault that you're in here. 396 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,900 I'm Beth. 397 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:43,970 - Beth? - The destroyer! 398 00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,170 The destroyer! 399 00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:47,070 Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest. 400 00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,710 You fell into some honey. 401 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:52,040 Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey. 402 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,080 I respect your right to believe I pushed you. 403 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,080 Oh, do I get to have that? 404 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,050 Is my reality like a little side of fries... 405 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:01,790 a little Kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way? 406 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:04,460 Yes, because I'm focused on saving your father's life 407 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,290 because I'm not a petty piece of ［bleep］ 408 00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:08,390 So, then, it should be pretty easy 409 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,700 to say, "Sorry I pushed you." 410 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,160 Real easy and not necessary, 411 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,770 since you coming home will save your dad's life 412 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,130 whereas nothing is changed 413 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,900 by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego. 414 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,270 Sorry, forgive me. 415 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:19,870 Uh, I've been in Froopyland for quite a while. 416 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,370 Have apologies changed? 417 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,080 Tommy, I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology. 418 00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:25,380 Oh, my God. I'm my father. 419 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:28,210 Uh, will someone just kill this B-word? 420 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,850 Hi-ya! 421 00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:33,190 Oh, my God. I'm my father! 422 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:34,420 Ya! Ooh! Froopy! 423 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,020 It's stab time! Ooh! 424 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,390 And that's why one pussy plus two pussies 425 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,230 makes a bunch of pussies. 426 00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:45,460 Come on, y'all, I'm trying to make this 427 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,370 appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles. 428 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,140 Hi, I need to pull Morty out of school. Come on, Morty. 429 00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,040 Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty. 430 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,370 you have to leave school. 431 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,140 Wait, what are my values? 432 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:57,010 Dad, what's going on? We're going to Alaska. 433 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,610 What? Why? It's nice there. 434 00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:00,850 Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn't take it well, 435 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,050 and she wants to murder you two. 436 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,920 What? Th-Then why are we walking? 437 00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:05,120 I'm walking because I'm tired. 438 00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:06,250 You guys should definitely run. 439 00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:10,260 Excuse me, I just... 440 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,220 You know what? I'm... I'm just gonna go left. 441 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,130 No, okay, your left, that's fine. 442 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,400 Do you know what left is, 'cause... Ugh! 443 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:19,300 What does your breakup have to do with us? 444 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:21,170 Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. 445 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,900 I thought we made that clear at the lawyer's office 446 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:25,270 and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook. 447 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,240 She kind of blames you guys for the breakup. 448 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,510 - Why? - Why? 449 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,940 Because I told her it was your fault. 450 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:33,380 - What?! - What?! 451 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,980 Look, I'm not an evil person. 452 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,550 I'm just not very imaginative! 453 00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:42,320 Oh! 454 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,290 ♪ Doo-doo butt ♪ 455 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,290 ♪ Doo-doo-doo... doo-doo butt ♪ 456 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,560 No. 457 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,700 ♪ Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt ♪ 458 00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:52,970 Hey. Hey. 459 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,870 Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, 460 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,900 if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, 461 00:15:58,970 --> 00:16:00,370 what would you need to get started? 462 00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,170 I don't kn... Tommy's DNA? 463 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,010 Okay, 'cause he, um... 464 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,180 Yeah, he didn't want to come back, 465 00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:08,510 so, um, he gave me this. 466 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,380 He gave you his finger? 467 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,550 Uh, well, what happened is... 468 00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:13,850 It's okay. It doesn't matter. Okay. 469 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,220 This'll take about three hours. 470 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:16,820 Okay. 471 00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:18,520 Hey. You want to help? 472 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,560 Okay. 473 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:24,000 - ♪ Doo ♪ - ♪ I got a doo-doo in my butt ♪ 474 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:28,000 - ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ - ♪ And I don't know what to do ♪ 475 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,300 ♪ With the doo-doo in my butt ♪ 476 00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:34,510 ♪ But I know that a father should say to you ♪ 477 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,080 ♪ That he's proud of you ♪ 478 00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,210 - ♪ Doo ♪ - ♪ Every daughter is a doo-doo from a father's butt ♪ 479 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,580 ♪ Biologically speaking, the butt is a nut ♪ 480 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:46,050 ♪ And every father fathers wrong ♪ 481 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,390 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ And there isn't a song ♪ 482 00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:51,220 ♪ That can change that ♪ 483 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,590 I am wiped out. I guess I'll turn in. 484 00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,160 Cool. 485 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,360 Dad? 486 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,260 I feel like I've spent my life 487 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,940 pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. 488 00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,470 And the ugly truth has always been... 489 00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:08,440 That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. 490 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,540 Am I evil? 491 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,240 Worse. You're smart. 492 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,480 When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. 493 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,580 And I've never met a universe that was into it. 494 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,320 The universe is basically an animal. 495 00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:18,620 It grazes on the ordinary. 496 00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:20,920 It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, 497 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,960 not unlike your friend Timmy. Tommy. 498 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,520 Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. 499 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,490 You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, 500 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:27,790 take reality for a ride, 501 00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,500 but it'll never stop trying to throw you. 502 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:30,700 And, eventually, it will. 503 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,560 There's no other way off. 504 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,930 Dad, I'm out of excuses to not be who I am. 505 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:38,940 So who am I? What do I do? 506 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,740 My advice... Take off. 507 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:43,110 Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out. 508 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,310 I can't do that. 509 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,080 The kids, Jerry, my job, 510 00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:48,080 and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC's "The Bachelor." 511 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,180 I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, 512 00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,220 with all your memories. 513 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,720 An exact copy in every way. 514 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,890 It'll love and provide for the kids, 515 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,890 do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV 516 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,390 on the same allegedly ironic level as you. 517 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,590 You could be gone a day, a week, 518 00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,000 or the rest of your life with zero consequences. 519 00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,330 The moment you decide to come back, 520 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,770 I flip a switch, and the clone's job is done. 521 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,540 It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, 522 00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:13,110 and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner." 523 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,770 If nothing matters, why would you do that for me? 524 00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:18,680 I don't know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. 525 00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,410 Or maybe it makes you matter. 526 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:21,650 Maybe I love you. 527 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,710 Maybe something about your mother. 528 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,420 Don't jump a gift shark in the mouth. 529 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:26,690 I don't know if I can do it. 530 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,650 Then stay, and luxuriate in a life 531 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,590 you can finally know you've chosen. 532 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,030 My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, 533 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,760 you're finally gonna chill the ［bleep］ out. 534 00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,470 Okay. 535 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,640 I know what I want to do. 536 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:46,770 Aah! 537 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:48,340 Ow! 538 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,380 You can't run forever! 539 00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,710 She's really pissed off. 540 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:53,510 I know. It's kinda hot. 541 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,680 Shut up! 542 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,150 The hunters! They're back! Run! 543 00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:58,620 - We're not hunters. - We want to hide with you. 544 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,420 We're not hiding. We're nesting. 545 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:01,420 Ooh la la. 546 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:04,760 The children must be destroyed 547 00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,120 so that we can be together. 548 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,530 You need to break up with her, Dad... properly! 549 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,560 God damn it, Dad! 550 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,500 Dump her! 551 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,630 Okay, okay. 552 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,500 Kiara, let's just run away. 553 00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:17,500 - Dad! - Come on! 554 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:18,970 Just rip the Band-Aid off! 555 00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:20,370 Okay! 556 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,340 Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists 557 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,240 who were demanding I break up with you, 558 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,640 I lied. 559 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,510 If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, 560 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,080 it's me. 561 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:32,750 <i>I'm</i> the one who wants to break up. 562 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,190 I... I'm not an evil person. 563 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,620 I'm lazy, I'm cowardly, 564 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:38,020 and... and I do not know what I'm doing. 565 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,160 Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. 566 00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:42,760 We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. 567 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,400 I was excited to date someone cool 568 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:47,530 because it would make my ex notice me. 569 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:52,140 I would expect nothing less from humanity... 570 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:54,640 a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that... 571 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,740 - Kiara? - Trandor! 572 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,780 What are you doing here? 573 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,450 Just... hunting. 574 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,110 Do you really expect me to believe 575 00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,220 it has nothing to do with us? 576 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,680 You knew Earth was my domain. 577 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,650 I don't like what you're insinuating. 578 00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,720 Dad, can we go now? Hold on a second. 579 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,620 I'm starting to get the feeling that<i> I</i> was the rebound. 580 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,490 Dad, you just got handed an Ex Machina. 581 00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:15,760 You're taking it. 582 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,460 Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, 583 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,200 and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? 584 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,300 That's Gorgon shit... total Gorgon shit! 585 00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,310 We're home! 586 00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:29,880 Hey, guys! What's for dinner? 587 00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:31,480 How was Jerry's? The usual. 588 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,880 Can we have pizza? Pizza sounds great. 589 00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:35,850 Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? 590 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,550 No. Gross. For the alien. 591 00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,750 Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo's is closed. 592 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,650 Are you guys sure you want pizza? 593 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,790 Arnaldo's isn't closed in the dimension 594 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,530 where they didn't invent Daylight Savings! 595 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,400 What would we do without you? I love you, Dad. 596 00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:52,860 Love you, too, sweetie. 597 00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:56,000 By the way, that wasn't time travel. 598 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,570 There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. 599 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,270 I grabbed them. 600 00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:29,740 ♪ 601 00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:32,340 <i>Hey, Jerry, it's Kiara.</i> 602 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:34,710 <i>Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you've been sending me,</i> 603 00:21:34,740 --> 00:21:36,340 <i>and he got pretty pissed off.</i> 604 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,580 <i>If he calls you, just ignore him!</i> 605 00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:40,050 <i>This is Carmox.</i> 606 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,650 <i>I have intercepted sexual communications</i> 607 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,550 <i>between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara.</i> 608 00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:45,520 <i>I am coming to kill you now!</i> 609 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,290 <i>Yo, Jerry, it's the Big R.</i> 610 00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:49,420 <i>Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya.</i> 611 00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:51,060 <i>Looking out for ya, buddy.</i> 612 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:52,790 <i>Hey, Jerry, it's Rick.</i> 613 00:21:52,830 --> 00:21:54,490 <i>Don't be mad. I ［bleep］ your ex-girlfriend Kiara.</i> 614 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,730 <i>Who are you talking to, Rick?</i> 615 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,260 <i>Doesn't matter.</i> 616 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,800 <i>Hey, Jerry, this is Michael</i> 617 00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,530 <i>down at The Antique Phone rentals.</i> 618 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:01,970 <i>Um, I'm gonna go ahead and let you off the hook</i> 619 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,640 <i>for the $70 late fee.</i> 620 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,240 <i>You can go ahead and keep that answering machine.</i> 621 00:22:05,270 --> 00:22:06,870 <i>Nobody really uses those anymore</i> 622 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,470 <i>except for exposition on TV shows, anyways.</i> 623 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,200 Synced by ElectricBump www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 <font color="#ffff00" size=14>www.tvsubtitles.net</font>