苏烟

                
                
They told me not to leave, they put away my hand bag and there was this moment I almost wanted to stay. I said yeah fuck it. I'll stay.
Then I sat down and lighted up a cigarette; haven't been smoking for a while so the strong smell choked my throat and I almost puked. The one who sat besides me use to love me a lot, but now is about to get married. He asked have you ever noticed the sentence on this cigarette pack? It says: following the track of the gale, I'm chasing the sun. How cliché but romantic, He said, on a pack of 苏烟.
My plan was staying here for 3 hours and that was it. I'll again jump on the train and leave. But somehow I gave up and that is because I have never stick with my plans. I always fuck up things by not knowing how to say no to people, and buy insurance for the unintended risks.
So I just stood up and left. That was it. Losing all hope was freedom. What you own will eventually owning you. Just let go.
I left the people I love and who would care about me and provide shelter for me. The reason is I want to embrace the crew when I'm glamour, not when I'm fucked up.
So it goes.