又中又英——"a cup of coffee" - Michael Chugani 褚簡寧
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It has become a common saying that if the ICAC invites
someone to its headquarters for "a cup of coffee" it actually means the ICAC wants to interrogate that person. Many VIPs (acronym for Very Important Person) are now being investigated by the ICAC. They include former chief executive Donald Tsang Yam-kuen and former ICAC commissioner Timothy Tong Hin-ming. I wonder if the ICAC had invited them to its headquarters for "a cup of coffee". Nobody knows. But if I ever get a phone call from the ICAC inviting me for "a cup of coffee" I'll tell them straight off (immediately, right away) that I don't like drinking coffee.
If they ask me why, I'll tell them I don't want to be middle-class. Financial Secretary John Tsang Chun-wah had said people who drink coffee are middle-class. My aspiration (ambition) is to be upper-class. I'll tell ICAC officials that if they want to interrogate me, they will have to invite me for a glass of vintage wine. The word vintage means the year or place in which high-quality wine was produced. For example, 1982 wine is considered one of the best vintage wines. Rich mainlanders love to buy 1982 Chateau Lafite vintage wines, which are very expensive. To interrogate means to ask questions in a forceful way. The word is usually used when the police question suspected criminals.
If the ICAC tells me people are usually invited for coffee, not wine, during interrogations, I'll reply that it is an unfair rule. Why should the ICAC serve only coffee to people who are invited for interrogation? The ICAC had served expensive wine and mou tai when Timothy Tong Hin-ming invited his mainland friends. The ICAC should treat everyone equally. Tong had spent so much of the public's money buying alcohol that the ICAC must still have many bottles left. The ICAC should make good use of this by inviting people they want to interrogate for a glass of wine instead of a cup of coffee. Serving wine instead of coffee is also a clever idea because it is much easier to get information from people who are tipsy (slightly drunk).
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我們慣常會說，廉政公署請人到總部「飲咖啡」，實質即是廉署要審問（interrogate）那人。現在，許多大人物（VIPs，Very Important Person的簡稱）都被廉署調查，包括前特首曾蔭權和前廉政專員湯顯明。我很好奇到底廉署有沒有邀請他們到總部「飲咖啡」，這就無人知曉。但如果我收到廉署的電話，請我去喝咖啡，我會馬上（straight off）告訴他們，我不喜歡喝咖啡。
他們若問我因由，我就跟他們說我不想當中產人士。財政司司長曾俊華曾經說過，喝咖啡的人屬於中產。我的宏願（aspiration）是進身上流社會，所以會告訴廉署人員，他們想審問（interrogate）我的話，就得邀我喝杯陳年（vintage）名酒。Vintage是指優質名酒所釀造的年份或產地。譬如，一九八二年的酒就被認為是最佳陳年（vintage）葡萄酒之一。富有的內地人喜愛購買一九八二年拉菲酒莊的陳年（vintage）好酒，此酒價值不菲。Interrogate即是審查、拷問，當警察要質問嫌疑罪犯時就常常會用到個字。
如果廉署告訴我，審查（interrogation）期間只會請人喝咖啡而非洋酒，我就會回他們說，這項規則實在太不公平了。為甚麼廉署邀請人回去接受審訊（interrogation），單以咖啡招待？湯顯明招呼他的內地朋友時，廉署就曾以貴酒和茅台待客。廉署好應該公平對待所有人啊。湯花了那麼多的公帑買酒，廉署一定還有許多瓶的存貨吧。廉署好應物盡其用，請人接受審問（interrogate）時，招呼他們喝杯酒而不是喝咖啡。而且，以酒代咖啡亦不失為明智之舉，因為當人微醺（tipsy）的時候，要套取資料就容易得多了。
mickchug@gmail.com
中譯:七刻
