罗马皇帝征皇后
世界上找不出比此人更靠谱的了！
Basic info:
Name: Lucius Annaeus Seneca Caesar Augustus
Birthdate: Historians still haven't figured that out, but they tend to agree it's sometime between 750 or 753 ab Urbe condita (4 to 1 BC for those little people called Christians, and 4 to 1 BCE for you politically correct folks)
Birthplace: Corduba, Hispania Baetica (but my family was originally from either Etruria or Illyria)
Education: received the best education Rome had to offer; studied rhetoric and was a pupil of the philosophers Attalus and Sotion
Employer: Senatus populusque Romanus
Job: Princeps
Current place: Rome, but I usually spend my summers in my villas in Campania (yeah, Nero gave me a lot of those)
Family:
Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Elder (father)
Helvia (mother)
Lucius Junius Gallio Annaeanus (elder brother)
Annaeus Mela (younger brother)
Marcus Annaeus Lucanus (nephew)
Nemesis: Claudius the stutterer
Religious view: mostly in line with the Epicureans
Political view: mostly in line with Plato
Philosophical view: Stoic
Favorite authors: Zeno, Chrysippus, Epicurus, Asinius Pollio
Favorite music: my pupil playing on the water organ (off the record: he sings like a dog)
Favorite films: What are those things?
Favorite sports teams: The greens, I guess
People who have inspired me: Socrates, Cato the Younger (for they are the best examples of how to throw a suicide party)
Qualifications for the empress:
1. Must not be a dancer, or any performance artist, just in case Procopius will mistake you for a prostitute or even worse, a vampire;
2. Be well-educated, but not too smart that you will feed me poisoned mushrooms;
3. Preferably asexual, as I don't appreciate my empress outshagging the most famous courtesan in Rome in my absence; also then I won't be a suspect of kicking my pregnant wife to death;
4. Can bring a son, as long as he is more interested in philosophy and the res publica than singing and charioteering, oh, he can't be a priest to some Eastern deity, either;
5. Can have a secret lover or whatever, just don't marry him when I'm in Britain (we call that a coup, you know?);
6. Can definitely NOT be called Livilla;
7. Be willing to commit suicide together with me at my suicide party, but don't worry, my posse will bandage you up (it's mostly for Tacitus who would resent me otherwise).
All interested parties should contact the imperial freedman Domitius Sopater, and he will schedule interviews with qualified individuals.
马哈哈哈哈哈！
Basic info:
Name: Lucius Annaeus Seneca Caesar Augustus
Birthdate: Historians still haven't figured that out, but they tend to agree it's sometime between 750 or 753 ab Urbe condita (4 to 1 BC for those little people called Christians, and 4 to 1 BCE for you politically correct folks)
Birthplace: Corduba, Hispania Baetica (but my family was originally from either Etruria or Illyria)
Education: received the best education Rome had to offer; studied rhetoric and was a pupil of the philosophers Attalus and Sotion
Employer: Senatus populusque Romanus
Job: Princeps
Current place: Rome, but I usually spend my summers in my villas in Campania (yeah, Nero gave me a lot of those)
Family:
Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Elder (father)
Helvia (mother)
Lucius Junius Gallio Annaeanus (elder brother)
Annaeus Mela (younger brother)
Marcus Annaeus Lucanus (nephew)
Nemesis: Claudius the stutterer
Religious view: mostly in line with the Epicureans
Political view: mostly in line with Plato
Philosophical view: Stoic
Favorite authors: Zeno, Chrysippus, Epicurus, Asinius Pollio
Favorite music: my pupil playing on the water organ (off the record: he sings like a dog)
Favorite films: What are those things?
Favorite sports teams: The greens, I guess
People who have inspired me: Socrates, Cato the Younger (for they are the best examples of how to throw a suicide party)
Qualifications for the empress:
1. Must not be a dancer, or any performance artist, just in case Procopius will mistake you for a prostitute or even worse, a vampire;
2. Be well-educated, but not too smart that you will feed me poisoned mushrooms;
3. Preferably asexual, as I don't appreciate my empress outshagging the most famous courtesan in Rome in my absence; also then I won't be a suspect of kicking my pregnant wife to death;
4. Can bring a son, as long as he is more interested in philosophy and the res publica than singing and charioteering, oh, he can't be a priest to some Eastern deity, either;
5. Can have a secret lover or whatever, just don't marry him when I'm in Britain (we call that a coup, you know?);
6. Can definitely NOT be called Livilla;
7. Be willing to commit suicide together with me at my suicide party, but don't worry, my posse will bandage you up (it's mostly for Tacitus who would resent me otherwise).
All interested parties should contact the imperial freedman Domitius Sopater, and he will schedule interviews with qualified individuals.
马哈哈哈哈哈！
