【生活】恭维是艺术还是欺骗？
He flatters to deceive
人们对恭维的态度褒贬不一，有人认为这是一门交际艺术，有人则认为它暴露了人虚伪的一面。殊不知，恭维也要讲求方法，如果盲目谄媚只会落得个马屁精(apple-polisher)的称号。
How do you persuade someone to do something they might not feel so keen about?
你怎么说服别人做一些他们可能兴趣不大的事情？
*Flattery–the art of offering pleasing compliments–will often help you get what you want.
*恭维——一门赞美别人，讨人欢心的艺术，会让你心想事成。
Lucy Kellaway is a writer and columnist with the Financial Times. One day, she got an e-mail asking her to go to Scotland to give a speech for a charity.
作家露西•凯拉韦是《金融时报》的专栏作家。一天，她收到一封电子邮件，邀请她前往苏格兰为一家慈善机构做演讲。
She wanted to decline the invitation because there were good reasons to do so: Scotland is far away from London; she had never heard of the charity and barely knew the woman who wrote the message. Yet rather than say no, the columnist found herself saying yes instead.
她觉得自己有充分的理由来婉拒这个邀请：苏格兰离伦敦太远；她从来没有听说过这家慈善机构，也几乎不认识发邮件的那位女士。但她并没有拒绝，相反这位专栏作家竟然一口答应了。
Why?
为什么？
Because she was flattered. The e-mail began: “We haven’t met yet, but I hope we will.” The woman went on to *profess a huge admiration for Kellaway’s columns and claimed the charity’s committee would be “utterly over the moon” if she turned up.
因为她受宠若惊。这封邮件一开头就写道：“虽然我们未曾谋面，但我非常希望能有机会与您见面。”接下来，这位女士滔滔不绝地表达了对凯拉韦的专栏的赞赏，并表示如果她能够出席，那么慈善委员会绝对会“欣喜若狂”。
It would be hard for anyone to turn this woman down.
任何人都很难拒绝这位女士的邀请。
Writing in the Financial Times, Kellaway says that even though she didn’t believe the woman was really her fan, she was softened up nevertheless.
凯拉韦在《金融时报》上写道，即便她不相信这位女士是她的忠实读者，但她还是被说服了。
It is odd but true. According to a recent study from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, flattery works even when the *recipient knows it is *insincere.
这听上去很奇怪，但事实如此，香港科技大学的一项最新研究显示，即便被奉承者清楚这是虚伪之举，但它依然很奏效。
The Harvard Business Review recounts an experiment researchers did to prove the effectiveness of flattery.
《哈佛商业评论》杂志详述了研究人员是如何通过实验来证明恭维的有效性的。
A group of students were identified as potential shoppers. They were given a *flyer from a fictional clothing shop which said: “We are contacting you directly because we know that you are a fashionable and stylish person. Your dress sense is not only *classy, but also *chic…”
一组学生被视为潜在消费者。他们收到由一家虚构的服装店发来的传单，上面写着：“我们之所以直接与您联系，是因为我们深知您是一位前卫的时尚达人。你的着装品位优雅且时髦。”
They knew the compliment was not impersonal, and the motive was plain–the flyer asked them to shop at the store.
他们都知道这份赞美并不客观，而且动机也很明确——这些传单就是让他们去商店购物。
But the “shoppers” were charmed anyway and acted on their positive feelings by choosing a *coupon from the store that had flattered them.
但不管怎么样，这些“购物者”还是十分受用，十分乐意去获取刚刚那家恭维他们的商家的优惠券。
*Flagrant flattery may sway customers, but that doesn’t mean it can work in every situation.
毫不掩饰的恭维可能会使打动顾客的芳心，但这并不意味着它在任何情况下都会奏效。
Should you use flattery on your boss at work to get quicker promotion? Better not, according to a research done by the University at Buffalo in the US. Their study showed that empty flattery often *backfires. Successful flattery takes skill. Researchers found out that insincere flattery often produces a negative response.
工作中，你是否应该奉承老板以获得平步青云的机会呢？最好不要。美国布法罗大学的一项研究显示，虚假空洞的奉承往往适得其反。奏效的奉承需要技巧。研究者还发现虚伪的奉承往往还会产生负面反应。
If a supervisor sees a *subordinate’s flattery as a *ploy to get ahead, they will tend to rate the employee lower on job performance.
如果上司将下属的恭维视为其晋升伎俩，那么他们往往会低估下属的工作成就。
But if the flatterer is skillful enough to fool the supervisor into thinking his or her praise is sincere, they will usually get positive feedback.
但如果恭维技巧十足，就连上司也信以为真的话，那么他们一般都会做出积极回应。
An article in The Economist agrees and argues that the ambitious should master the art of flattery.
《经济学人》杂志中的一篇文章对此表示赞同，并提出胸怀大志者应该掌握恭维的艺术。
It quotes Jennifer Chatman, of the University of California, who conducted experiments in which she tried to find a point at which flattery became ineffective. It turned out there wasn’t one.
文章援引了来自加州大学的詹妮弗•查特曼的实验为证。她曾进行了一项实验，试图找出恭维失效的临界点。而事实证明它根本不存在。
Chatman says: “People who bring positive information, who make the boss feel good about the decisions he or she has made, who build up the boss’s confidence, those people are going to do better.”
查特曼说：“那些能够带来正面信息的人，能让老板对其个人决策感觉良好的人，能增强老板自信心的人，会做的更好。”
人们对恭维的态度褒贬不一，有人认为这是一门交际艺术，有人则认为它暴露了人虚伪的一面。殊不知，恭维也要讲求方法，如果盲目谄媚只会落得个马屁精(apple-polisher)的称号。
How do you persuade someone to do something they might not feel so keen about?
你怎么说服别人做一些他们可能兴趣不大的事情？
*Flattery–the art of offering pleasing compliments–will often help you get what you want.
*恭维——一门赞美别人，讨人欢心的艺术，会让你心想事成。
Lucy Kellaway is a writer and columnist with the Financial Times. One day, she got an e-mail asking her to go to Scotland to give a speech for a charity.
作家露西•凯拉韦是《金融时报》的专栏作家。一天，她收到一封电子邮件，邀请她前往苏格兰为一家慈善机构做演讲。
She wanted to decline the invitation because there were good reasons to do so: Scotland is far away from London; she had never heard of the charity and barely knew the woman who wrote the message. Yet rather than say no, the columnist found herself saying yes instead.
她觉得自己有充分的理由来婉拒这个邀请：苏格兰离伦敦太远；她从来没有听说过这家慈善机构，也几乎不认识发邮件的那位女士。但她并没有拒绝，相反这位专栏作家竟然一口答应了。
Why?
为什么？
 |
Because she was flattered. The e-mail began: “We haven’t met yet, but I hope we will.” The woman went on to *profess a huge admiration for Kellaway’s columns and claimed the charity’s committee would be “utterly over the moon” if she turned up.
因为她受宠若惊。这封邮件一开头就写道：“虽然我们未曾谋面，但我非常希望能有机会与您见面。”接下来，这位女士滔滔不绝地表达了对凯拉韦的专栏的赞赏，并表示如果她能够出席，那么慈善委员会绝对会“欣喜若狂”。
It would be hard for anyone to turn this woman down.
任何人都很难拒绝这位女士的邀请。
Writing in the Financial Times, Kellaway says that even though she didn’t believe the woman was really her fan, she was softened up nevertheless.
凯拉韦在《金融时报》上写道，即便她不相信这位女士是她的忠实读者，但她还是被说服了。
It is odd but true. According to a recent study from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, flattery works even when the *recipient knows it is *insincere.
这听上去很奇怪，但事实如此，香港科技大学的一项最新研究显示，即便被奉承者清楚这是虚伪之举，但它依然很奏效。
The Harvard Business Review recounts an experiment researchers did to prove the effectiveness of flattery.
《哈佛商业评论》杂志详述了研究人员是如何通过实验来证明恭维的有效性的。
A group of students were identified as potential shoppers. They were given a *flyer from a fictional clothing shop which said: “We are contacting you directly because we know that you are a fashionable and stylish person. Your dress sense is not only *classy, but also *chic…”
一组学生被视为潜在消费者。他们收到由一家虚构的服装店发来的传单，上面写着：“我们之所以直接与您联系，是因为我们深知您是一位前卫的时尚达人。你的着装品位优雅且时髦。”
They knew the compliment was not impersonal, and the motive was plain–the flyer asked them to shop at the store.
他们都知道这份赞美并不客观，而且动机也很明确——这些传单就是让他们去商店购物。
But the “shoppers” were charmed anyway and acted on their positive feelings by choosing a *coupon from the store that had flattered them.
但不管怎么样，这些“购物者”还是十分受用，十分乐意去获取刚刚那家恭维他们的商家的优惠券。
*Flagrant flattery may sway customers, but that doesn’t mean it can work in every situation.
毫不掩饰的恭维可能会使打动顾客的芳心，但这并不意味着它在任何情况下都会奏效。
Should you use flattery on your boss at work to get quicker promotion? Better not, according to a research done by the University at Buffalo in the US. Their study showed that empty flattery often *backfires. Successful flattery takes skill. Researchers found out that insincere flattery often produces a negative response.
工作中，你是否应该奉承老板以获得平步青云的机会呢？最好不要。美国布法罗大学的一项研究显示，虚假空洞的奉承往往适得其反。奏效的奉承需要技巧。研究者还发现虚伪的奉承往往还会产生负面反应。
If a supervisor sees a *subordinate’s flattery as a *ploy to get ahead, they will tend to rate the employee lower on job performance.
如果上司将下属的恭维视为其晋升伎俩，那么他们往往会低估下属的工作成就。
But if the flatterer is skillful enough to fool the supervisor into thinking his or her praise is sincere, they will usually get positive feedback.
但如果恭维技巧十足，就连上司也信以为真的话，那么他们一般都会做出积极回应。
An article in The Economist agrees and argues that the ambitious should master the art of flattery.
《经济学人》杂志中的一篇文章对此表示赞同，并提出胸怀大志者应该掌握恭维的艺术。
It quotes Jennifer Chatman, of the University of California, who conducted experiments in which she tried to find a point at which flattery became ineffective. It turned out there wasn’t one.
文章援引了来自加州大学的詹妮弗•查特曼的实验为证。她曾进行了一项实验，试图找出恭维失效的临界点。而事实证明它根本不存在。
Chatman says: “People who bring positive information, who make the boss feel good about the decisions he or she has made, who build up the boss’s confidence, those people are going to do better.”
查特曼说：“那些能够带来正面信息的人，能让老板对其个人决策感觉良好的人，能增强老板自信心的人，会做的更好。”
