哈佛幸福课(18)：睡眠，触摸和爱情的重要性
1. 睡眠：
75% people do not get enough sleep.
Look at it as an investment. A lot of return with this investment.
Benefits：
Strength Immune system
Energy levels
Lack of sleep leads to gain Weight
Motor skills (accidents)
Stress/anxiety levels
Depression. Tired, solve the problems at night. Physical, and psychological. （梦：前半夜的梦一般不太愉悦；后半夜的梦更愉悦）
Cognitive functioning
2. Tips：
8 hours a day.
Naps, for 15, 20 minutes.
Do not eat too late, or exercise to late.
Permission to be human.
Pay attention to internal rhythms. What’s right for you? With your natural need. How many hours and when do you have to sleep. （顺从自己的内在作息节奏）
3. Touch
It is a need.
An important part of relationship
Children grow better with more touch.
Overcome anxiety and depression
Better sex with touch（foreplay is more than the means towards an end）
Win-win. When we share, it grows.
Respect the other person. Make sure that others be comfortable to be touched.
Suggestion：5 hugs at least a day, 12 hugs are better.
实验：早产婴儿，更多抚摸，成长更快更健康；猴子试验；罗马尼亚（齐奥塞斯库在位时）的残忍实验，15万孩子由于缺乏抚摸，成长发育受影响。
Wonder drug：
30 minutes of physical exercise 4 times a week.
10-15 minutes of mindful exercise everyday or at very least a few deep breathe
8 hours of sleep more or less per 24 hours.
at least 5, ideally 12 hugs a day
4. Relationship
A natural need：
Close relationship.
Every one benefit from it. Man benefit more.
Have a partner to Share your happiness, and it enhances.
When you meet some difficulties, you can overcome them together.
The key is to know yourself：
The lasagna principle from the happiness book. Do not eat lasagna everyday.
How many hours a day is good for me?
How many relationships do you want have?
5. Divorce, relationship ends. Why?
The exotic is erotic. If it is new, it's more interesting, more fascinating.
追求新鲜是人的本性。引人性致的，更高的激励水平。（如万有引力一般，接受它，无所谓好坏）
There is no perfect love. 没有完美的爱情存在，但有真爱
If you had married to the most beautiful/handsome people in the world, and after period of time, he/she will not appeal to you like the beginning, maybe a common person will have a stronger attraction than you.
6. What true love really means? Does it really exist?
There is no perfect love. True love exist. 没有完美的爱情存在，但有真爱
“Perfect love is rare indeed—for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.”
智者的敏锐，童的灵活性，艺术家的感性，哲学家的领悟，圣人的包容，学者的宽容，笃定者的刚毅”——期待完美关系，注定失败
----Leo Buscaglia
7. Accept nature. Then what can we do?
Ask the question again. Question shapes reality. Make a change in our focus.
Do not focus on the failure in the marriage, but on the successful one.
What make some relationship thrive and grow stronger over time?
Those loves exist. What can we learn?
5. How to Sustain the passion in the relationship.
1) Working hard 维持恋情需要努力
2) To be known and how to invest 怎样投资
3) Allowing for conflict in a relationship 接受冲突
4) positive perception 寻找积极点
75% people do not get enough sleep.
Look at it as an investment. A lot of return with this investment.
Benefits：
Strength Immune system
Energy levels
Lack of sleep leads to gain Weight
Motor skills (accidents)
Stress/anxiety levels
Depression. Tired, solve the problems at night. Physical, and psychological. （梦：前半夜的梦一般不太愉悦；后半夜的梦更愉悦）
Cognitive functioning
2. Tips：
8 hours a day.
Naps, for 15, 20 minutes.
Do not eat too late, or exercise to late.
Permission to be human.
Pay attention to internal rhythms. What’s right for you? With your natural need. How many hours and when do you have to sleep. （顺从自己的内在作息节奏）
3. Touch
It is a need.
An important part of relationship
Children grow better with more touch.
Overcome anxiety and depression
Better sex with touch（foreplay is more than the means towards an end）
Win-win. When we share, it grows.
Respect the other person. Make sure that others be comfortable to be touched.
Suggestion：5 hugs at least a day, 12 hugs are better.
实验：早产婴儿，更多抚摸，成长更快更健康；猴子试验；罗马尼亚（齐奥塞斯库在位时）的残忍实验，15万孩子由于缺乏抚摸，成长发育受影响。
Wonder drug：
30 minutes of physical exercise 4 times a week.
10-15 minutes of mindful exercise everyday or at very least a few deep breathe
8 hours of sleep more or less per 24 hours.
at least 5, ideally 12 hugs a day
4. Relationship
A natural need：
Close relationship.
Every one benefit from it. Man benefit more.
Have a partner to Share your happiness, and it enhances.
When you meet some difficulties, you can overcome them together.
The key is to know yourself：
The lasagna principle from the happiness book. Do not eat lasagna everyday.
How many hours a day is good for me?
How many relationships do you want have?
5. Divorce, relationship ends. Why?
The exotic is erotic. If it is new, it's more interesting, more fascinating.
追求新鲜是人的本性。引人性致的，更高的激励水平。（如万有引力一般，接受它，无所谓好坏）
There is no perfect love. 没有完美的爱情存在，但有真爱
If you had married to the most beautiful/handsome people in the world, and after period of time, he/she will not appeal to you like the beginning, maybe a common person will have a stronger attraction than you.
6. What true love really means? Does it really exist?
There is no perfect love. True love exist. 没有完美的爱情存在，但有真爱
“Perfect love is rare indeed—for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.”
智者的敏锐，童的灵活性，艺术家的感性，哲学家的领悟，圣人的包容，学者的宽容，笃定者的刚毅”——期待完美关系，注定失败
----Leo Buscaglia
7. Accept nature. Then what can we do?
Ask the question again. Question shapes reality. Make a change in our focus.
Do not focus on the failure in the marriage, but on the successful one.
What make some relationship thrive and grow stronger over time?
Those loves exist. What can we learn?
5. How to Sustain the passion in the relationship.
1) Working hard 维持恋情需要努力
2) To be known and how to invest 怎样投资
3) Allowing for conflict in a relationship 接受冲突
4) positive perception 寻找积极点
