逝者长已矣，生者如斯夫
2011-01-05
Joyce Carol Oates
长久未念 Joyce Carol Oates 的作品了。很多年前为了提高英语写作水平，买了很多她的书，加上Anna Quindlen 的文章，一个字一个字地读，录下来听，有一些还试着背下来。昨晚临睡前在 Dec. 13, 2010 的 《New Yorker》 上，看到她写的“A Widow’s Story：The Last Week of a Long Marriage，” 忍不住就开始看了。看了几次钟，想，明天还要早起，明天还要工作。关了灯，却终于又重新打开灯把它看完了。 她写她丈夫得了肺炎在医院里的一个星期 -- 他生命的最后一个星期。没有drama，没有大起大落。一切似乎都不该发生，然而死亡就这样不期而至。她写道，当她不得不离开她丈夫的病房时： “'Honey，I think they want me to go now.'" My voice is thin, wavering. Perhaps it isn't a voice but a faintly articulated thought. Helplessly, I am standing there, thinking -- the thought comes to me -- There will never be a right time. Meaning, a time to leave the hospital room. Meaning, a time to turn my back, and walk away."
Joan Didion
同样写丈夫就在两人准备坐下吃晚饭的瞬间就不在了的，是Joan Didion 的《The Year of Magical Thinking》。一个人怎样能接受当独生女儿躺在危重病房里时，丈夫又因为突发的心脏病去世？她拒绝悲哀，因为她整个被悲哀紧紧裹住。Didion 文笔之细腻而矜持，让我至今难忘她写的细节。记得那时去Harvard 开会，在机场买了这本书。那年 Boston 三月忽降大雪，我在旅馆里看不下去这本书了，因为越看越觉得孤独。回家的飞机上，旁边坐着一位Boston的女建筑师，也在看这本书。在飞机上几乎从来不跟人聊天的我，那天跟她两人一同泪眼朦朦。
逝者长已矣，生者如斯夫。她们写的其实都是生者对于死之无奈。死亡的力量与活着一样大，这是使得人之为人的东西吧。
或许只有女作家才能写出这样的文章，但这不是因为她们多愁善感 -- Oates 和 Didion 的风格都是细腻然而没有半分的煽情。唯其不煽情才更见沉重。让别人进入自己巨大的悲伤需要非凡的勇气；这勇气至今好像是女作家的独占。
又想起Emily Dickinson 的诗，“There's Been a Death in the Opposite House”。也是写生与死之间的那个时空里的各种仪式的琐琐碎碎。生与死之间没有桥梁，只有借仪式来搭这桥梁。而这仪式之虚伪空洞或真诚实在，都只在个人的心中。
There's been a death in the opposite house
As lately as today.
I know it by the numb look
Such houses have always.
The neighbours rustle in and out,
The doctor drives away.
A window opens like a pod,
Abrupt, mechanically;
Somebody flings a mattress out, -
The children hurry by;
They wonder if It died on that, -
I used to when a boy.
The minister goes stiffly in
As if the house were his,
And he owned all the mourners now,
And little boys besides;
And then the milliner, and the man
Of the appalling trade,
To take the measure of the house.
There'll be that dark parade
Of tassels and of coaches soon;
It's easy as a sign, -
The intuition of the news
In just a country town.
（Wikipedia： Joan Didion (born December 5, 1934) is an American author best known for her novels and personalized, journalistic essays. The disintegration of American morals and cultural chaos upon which her essays comment are explored more fully in her novels, where the overriding theme is individual and social fragmentation. A sense of anxiety or dread permeates much of her work.）
（Wikipedia： Joyce Carol Oates (born June 16, 1938) is an American author. Oates published her first book in 1963 and has since published over fifty novels, as well as many volumes of short stories, poetry, and nonfiction. Her novel them (1969) won the National Book Award, and her novels Black Water (1992), What I Lived For (1994), and Blonde (2000) were nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. As of 2008, Oates is the Roger S. Berlind '52 Professor in the Humanities with the Program in Creative Writing at Princeton University, where she has taught since 1978）。
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Joyce Carol Oates
长久未念 Joyce Carol Oates 的作品了。很多年前为了提高英语写作水平，买了很多她的书，加上Anna Quindlen 的文章，一个字一个字地读，录下来听，有一些还试着背下来。昨晚临睡前在 Dec. 13, 2010 的 《New Yorker》 上，看到她写的“A Widow’s Story：The Last Week of a Long Marriage，” 忍不住就开始看了。看了几次钟，想，明天还要早起，明天还要工作。关了灯，却终于又重新打开灯把它看完了。 她写她丈夫得了肺炎在医院里的一个星期 -- 他生命的最后一个星期。没有drama，没有大起大落。一切似乎都不该发生，然而死亡就这样不期而至。她写道，当她不得不离开她丈夫的病房时： “'Honey，I think they want me to go now.'" My voice is thin, wavering. Perhaps it isn't a voice but a faintly articulated thought. Helplessly, I am standing there, thinking -- the thought comes to me -- There will never be a right time. Meaning, a time to leave the hospital room. Meaning, a time to turn my back, and walk away."
 |
Joan Didion
同样写丈夫就在两人准备坐下吃晚饭的瞬间就不在了的，是Joan Didion 的《The Year of Magical Thinking》。一个人怎样能接受当独生女儿躺在危重病房里时，丈夫又因为突发的心脏病去世？她拒绝悲哀，因为她整个被悲哀紧紧裹住。Didion 文笔之细腻而矜持，让我至今难忘她写的细节。记得那时去Harvard 开会，在机场买了这本书。那年 Boston 三月忽降大雪，我在旅馆里看不下去这本书了，因为越看越觉得孤独。回家的飞机上，旁边坐着一位Boston的女建筑师，也在看这本书。在飞机上几乎从来不跟人聊天的我，那天跟她两人一同泪眼朦朦。
逝者长已矣，生者如斯夫。她们写的其实都是生者对于死之无奈。死亡的力量与活着一样大，这是使得人之为人的东西吧。
或许只有女作家才能写出这样的文章，但这不是因为她们多愁善感 -- Oates 和 Didion 的风格都是细腻然而没有半分的煽情。唯其不煽情才更见沉重。让别人进入自己巨大的悲伤需要非凡的勇气；这勇气至今好像是女作家的独占。
又想起Emily Dickinson 的诗，“There's Been a Death in the Opposite House”。也是写生与死之间的那个时空里的各种仪式的琐琐碎碎。生与死之间没有桥梁，只有借仪式来搭这桥梁。而这仪式之虚伪空洞或真诚实在，都只在个人的心中。
There's been a death in the opposite house
As lately as today.
I know it by the numb look
Such houses have always.
The neighbours rustle in and out,
The doctor drives away.
A window opens like a pod,
Abrupt, mechanically;
Somebody flings a mattress out, -
The children hurry by;
They wonder if It died on that, -
I used to when a boy.
The minister goes stiffly in
As if the house were his,
And he owned all the mourners now,
And little boys besides;
And then the milliner, and the man
Of the appalling trade,
To take the measure of the house.
There'll be that dark parade
Of tassels and of coaches soon;
It's easy as a sign, -
The intuition of the news
In just a country town.
（Wikipedia： Joan Didion (born December 5, 1934) is an American author best known for her novels and personalized, journalistic essays. The disintegration of American morals and cultural chaos upon which her essays comment are explored more fully in her novels, where the overriding theme is individual and social fragmentation. A sense of anxiety or dread permeates much of her work.）
（Wikipedia： Joyce Carol Oates (born June 16, 1938) is an American author. Oates published her first book in 1963 and has since published over fifty novels, as well as many volumes of short stories, poetry, and nonfiction. Her novel them (1969) won the National Book Award, and her novels Black Water (1992), What I Lived For (1994), and Blonde (2000) were nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. As of 2008, Oates is the Roger S. Berlind '52 Professor in the Humanities with the Program in Creative Writing at Princeton University, where she has taught since 1978）。
