What am I supposed to do?

                
                The eleventh week of this semester has already gone, but actually i'm not accustomed to this life, At the beginning of this term I tried to make my mind to take part in more extracurricular activities, And in the mid March i tried to fulfill my spare time with studying, and in April I attended Japanese class with good feelings, but In May I found there's no time for rest, even for Japanese class. Well, I tried to seek a feeling of comfort but no way. I tried to seek my love but actually failed several times. I really don't wanna be in this state. Today's presentation made me aware that i even didn't found my basic features: whose music do you like best? What style? Who's your favorite author? Why? What do you usually enjoy when free? If there's no one who accompany how to spend these hours alone without any lonely feelings?
                
                I am supposed to,
i'm supposed to make a plan, to write what i always should do and what are really urgent, What time and how and where, what is the deadline.
I'm supposed to treat every day as a treasure and eliminate any complaints.
I'm supposed to read a lot of books, about psychology, my major, science, novel and essays, histories,..., at least i won't be in stuck when asked who built the Zhongshan Bridge in Lanzhou and what's Shandan famous for.
I'm supposed to raise all of my ability, to adapt to the new environment and new trends. Everyday there will be a few intelligent or brilliant guys here, and I hope one day i can be ranked as among them.
Well, I'm supposed to keep silent sometime, for some of my words are not welcome, and some of mine give away what I think, which I really don't want. To leave a mature impression on everyone from now on, i will keep silent when necessary, but smile all the time.
                
                Well, for love, i have no idea. It really sucks. I can't do anything but waiting, waiting for some one? Nope, waiting for a fantastic dream. Maybe that's my destiny, lonely all the life.
What am I supposed to do? I have no idea, but ...actually...endeavor, forever.