This dream

It's been a long time since i dream and be awaken by it.

It was so real.

I couldn't remember any specific detail, but i can remember that i was in Sonke's house. I was waiting for Robin to come home to me. I kept waiting and waiting, with that sort of hidden desire to enjoy the intimacy when he arrives. Then it suddenly came to me that he was not gonna come home to me, ever. Suddenly I woke up at the moment of realization. The darkness reminds me that it was in the middle of the night. I looked into my heart and i didn't feel much. It was emptiness. The moonlight and the whole surrounding remind me that it was just a dream. Nothing more. The geographical gap between us is still there.

He is in Germany. I'm in China.

We are separated physically and mantally.

I cried when i try to write this down. The sense of such huge difference between high hope and cold blood truth left a deep cut on me.