Driving Test
Well, queen of disaster queen of epic fail, you are back on line again.
The driving exam is a lost cause anyway, but I never would have imagined you make it happened on the first second when you hit the petal. So dramatic. You didn't even get to turn the steering wheel. And then the serious examiner grabbed his chance to take on this show, saying "OK! Now swithch to parking mode, turn off the key, and, you failed."
I never wanna see his face again.
I didn't even see it this time, he was wearing sunglasses, which were perfectly designed to scare sheepy first-timers like me. It worked well. And who would want to drive a car unless he is told it's a necessary social skill anyway. I mean, it's a car, a 1.5 tons monster with rolling wheels and a hi-fi and all. I could be freaking out just seeing one coming towards me across the street, let alone riding one.
I could not trust someone to drive in the world like me. Never.
I should be responsible to the hundreds of lives God trusts in my hands, in the approach to never drive.
God, I just realized I never knew it was this scary to drive until now. A license to drive is a license to kill, technically. How could there be just one brake. I need insurence every time I get on the road, for me and for the road. I just never knew or thought of how much amount of responsbility that an adult could have. It is a TREMENDOUS amount. It is terrifying and it is crushing me. If you told the fourteen-year-old me what I had to deal with 5 years later, I might've just end all my adulthood fantasy, you know, giving up high heels and sex and all the cocktails once and for all.
I was born too early. I should wait till 2050 when it's like in that Spielburg movie Minority Report, that cars are all self-rotating robots driving on walls of skyscrapers, and if you are about to hit someone, you just fly straight skyward, saying "oh that was close, thank god there is a road above."
I could work with that, not what we have now.
I think maybe the problem is that I'm not a robot.
I am much lamer.
I despise protocols. I laugh at my mistakes. Then I forget them. I don't need to worry that my mistakes would have me amputated.
I get tired. I get sleepy. And I carry despair around me wherever I go.
I am literally distracted by everything that makes me a human. How could strangers trust me to behave on the road like a robot. How could I trusted them that much all through my sloppy, ignorant life. Mystery of the century.
Today's failure made me learn one thing. That a spaceship would never be an option for me if one day they come into production.
I grieved for 5 seconds.
The driving exam is a lost cause anyway, but I never would have imagined you make it happened on the first second when you hit the petal. So dramatic. You didn't even get to turn the steering wheel. And then the serious examiner grabbed his chance to take on this show, saying "OK! Now swithch to parking mode, turn off the key, and, you failed."
I never wanna see his face again.
I didn't even see it this time, he was wearing sunglasses, which were perfectly designed to scare sheepy first-timers like me. It worked well. And who would want to drive a car unless he is told it's a necessary social skill anyway. I mean, it's a car, a 1.5 tons monster with rolling wheels and a hi-fi and all. I could be freaking out just seeing one coming towards me across the street, let alone riding one.
I could not trust someone to drive in the world like me. Never.
I should be responsible to the hundreds of lives God trusts in my hands, in the approach to never drive.
God, I just realized I never knew it was this scary to drive until now. A license to drive is a license to kill, technically. How could there be just one brake. I need insurence every time I get on the road, for me and for the road. I just never knew or thought of how much amount of responsbility that an adult could have. It is a TREMENDOUS amount. It is terrifying and it is crushing me. If you told the fourteen-year-old me what I had to deal with 5 years later, I might've just end all my adulthood fantasy, you know, giving up high heels and sex and all the cocktails once and for all.
I was born too early. I should wait till 2050 when it's like in that Spielburg movie Minority Report, that cars are all self-rotating robots driving on walls of skyscrapers, and if you are about to hit someone, you just fly straight skyward, saying "oh that was close, thank god there is a road above."
I could work with that, not what we have now.
I think maybe the problem is that I'm not a robot.
I am much lamer.
I despise protocols. I laugh at my mistakes. Then I forget them. I don't need to worry that my mistakes would have me amputated.
I get tired. I get sleepy. And I carry despair around me wherever I go.
I am literally distracted by everything that makes me a human. How could strangers trust me to behave on the road like a robot. How could I trusted them that much all through my sloppy, ignorant life. Mystery of the century.
Today's failure made me learn one thing. That a spaceship would never be an option for me if one day they come into production.
I grieved for 5 seconds.
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