英式幽默，爱，笑抽

                
                酒吧里
Hugh - Another one please, barman.（喝光了酒说）
Fry - You sure?
Hugh - What?
Fry - No offence, but this will be your seventh.
Hugh - You just keep 'em coming.
Fry - Righto. Your funeral.
Hugh - Bitch.（自言自语）
Fry - Come again?
Hugh - My wife.
Fry - Oh, right, right.（把酒递给 Hugh）
Hugh - She doesn't understand me. She's never understood me.
Fry - What, Polish or something, is she?
Hugh - You ever been...
You ever been trapped in a loveless marriage
with a woman you despise?
Fry - Not since I was nine.
Do you like it straight up?
Hugh - What?
Fry - Or with ice?
Hugh - Ice.
Fry - Righto.
Fry - Cocktail onion?
Hugh - No, thanks.
Hugh - She takes no interest in my friends, you know.
She laughs at my...
Fry - Peanuts?（端出一小盘花生）
Hugh - ...hobbies.
Hugh - She doesn't even value my...
Fry - Crinkle-cut cheesy Wotsits?（端出一盘cheesy Wotsits，
这个双关语可能不太好理解：Wotsit 是食品商标，同时也是"what's it"，这里被用来指“那东西”，Crinkle-cut 是说“那东西”即 flaccid 又wrinkled，最后，cheesy 这个有点脏，是指“那东西”上的 smegma，讽刺洗的不够勤。）
Hugh - ...career.
You know, it's just so depressing.
Hugh - All right, so other men have got larger...
Fry - Plums? （端出一盘李子）
Hugh - ...salaries, and better prospects, and other men can boast a healthier-looking...
Fry - Stool?（拿出一个凳子让 Hugh 坐）
Hugh - ...lifestyle.
All right, you know, so I haven't got loads of cash hanging around.
You know, but why complain?
Other people are worse off. I've got a job.
Hugh - I've got two sweet, rosy...
Fry - Nibbles?（端出两盘Nibbles）
Hugh - ...children.
And she's always going on and on and on
about my appearance.
I mean, it's not as if she's an oil painting.
Hugh - You know, I mean frankly she's...
Fry - Plain and prawn-flavoured.（分别指着两盘不同的 Nibble 说）
Hugh - She's not as young as she used to be herself.
I don't know why I bother with women.
I'd be better off being a...
Fry - Fruit?（拿出一个香蕉）
Hugh - Well...
Monk or a hermit or something.
Hugh - At least if I was a...
Fry - Fag?（拿出一包骆驼牌香烟）
Hugh - At least if I was a monk, you know,
I wouldn't have to put up with women,
you know... Women going on and on,
who can talk the hind leg off a...
Fry - Camel?（指着骆驼牌香烟）
Hugh - ...donkey, you know.
Hugh - The trouble is, I couldn't live without women.
You know, in a monastery
the best you can hope for is a bit of...
Fry - Chocolate Hobnob?（拿出一盒 Hobnob，Hobnob 又指 To perform oral sex）
Hugh - ...peace and spirituality.
I mean, let's face it,
we haven't slept together for years.
Hugh - You know, the best I can hope for is a bit of...
Fry - Savoury finger? （拿出一盒手指饼干）
Hugh - ...a bit of a...
Bit of a cuddle at Christmas.
Hugh - And, naturally, she won't let me give her
so much as a...
Fry - Good juicy tongue in the back passage.（指着酒柜后面问）
Hugh - ...as a peck on the cheek.
Hugh - I tell you... I tell you, the trouble with that woman,
is that she's just a...
Fry - Rather disgusting-looking tart
that should have been disposed of ages ago?（端出一盘看起来很恶心的 tart，tart 英式英语里又指荡妇）
Hugh - She...
I tell you what it is, she's a complainer.
That's what she is, a complainer.
Hugh - Well, one more for the road I think, barman.
Fry - Certainly. Anything to go with it?
Hugh - Bag of oral sex, if you've got one.
取自 A bit of Fry and Laurie，第四季第三集