So I was live under her shadow

If I did not learning fashion, then I wouldn't relieze what they did wrong to me. I had a period time that I was being myself, that I knew I was looking for something last forever, but I figured everything is going to vanish at some point. I'm just curious, but the way how they did it, made me feel I was that type of person. So time gets longer, it stays in my mind. And I don't know how to clean them out. I'm curious about what is that mean, I don't like those I know who I am inside, I just don't know how to be myself. I don't have the ability to know how other people wants. I never try to gain their love. I just try to be a good daughter, and listen to what they talking about. I did not through away myself, it just comes to the po I was holding myself for 18 years for not listening and let their bad thoughts get over me for 19 years. she I'm holding myself for 18 years, also because my whole entire family drinks. I don't want to drink. I don't smoke, either. I was trying to create and get inspiration. But everything in my head is what and where and how I grow up. I had being depress since I was young. But no one cares about it. Maybe they just think I'm not happy. You all were not at home everyday, and you all expected me to be perfect, for 18 years. I am clearly know where the line is, but you all don't make me think that way. so I sometime I listen to my feeling, sometimes I copy what other people do, and sometimes I just try to think what will you call do.