Let Bygones Be Bygones 当爱已成风
Let Bygones Be Bygones
当爱已成风
—Donnie Oct.5,2011
There is a day we meet someone by chance or set-up,
There is a day we get attracted to someone for the sweet looking, vigorous mind,
There is a day we accept someone for the good virtues and clearly trust-worthy soul.
那天我们偶然地或者安排地遇见某人，
那天我们被他/她的顺眼的长相和活跃的思维所吸引，
那天我们接受了他/她，因为他/她的善良品质和深值信赖的灵魂。
There comes some day we find the one questionable for the unexpected behaviors,
There comes some day we find the one changed for the less caring than before,
There comes some day we find the one unreliable for the far deviant gesture.
The one could be someone we love and as well ourselves.
有天，因为一些意料外的行为，我们发觉他/她有些小问题，
有天，因为比从前关心少了，我们发觉他/她变了，
有天，因为某个很离谱的事，我们发觉他/她不再可靠。
有时也可能是他/她像上面描述的一样认为我们自己。
Love at first sight, to be sure, is a bonanza,
However, that at most can count as a mental crush or a heart-flip,
It is the dynamite of love to which its fuse just gets ignited,
It takes more to trigger the final blast.
As affected by the length of the fuse and the speed the spark burn through forward.
Possibly and unfortunately the spark gets smothered by a wind-blow, a rain drop,
Or an active force…
To keep the strength of the spark, it requires nurturing and guarding from dual sides.
一见钟情诚可贵，
但那种感觉充其量是头脑发热或心跳加速，
那只是爱情的炸药包刚被点燃引线，
离最终的爆响还很远，
因为这期间还要考虑引线长度和火星燃烧速度，
更可悲的是，火星可能被风霜雨雪或者人为的熄灭，
要想火星持续燃烧，需要双方的细心呵护和捍卫。
Looking from another angle, there is actually not such a thing as love at first sight.
True love might germinate via an eye contact,
But always takes some time, limited or indefinite, to thrive and bring forth fruit.
Although admittedly,
Modern socialization significantly makes it crazily easy for people to present themselves
And meanwhile, shortens the time for people to fall in love with another.
从另一个角度讲，世上压根儿就没有一见钟情这回事。
真爱也许会在初次四目相对的时候萌生，
就算是现在的社交生活方式让人们展现自己变得出奇的简便，
同时让人们能在更短的时间内爱上彼此，
但感情总是需要一段或者无限长时间去成长直到最终结出果实。
When we love someone,
Subconsciously we view it as the only love in our entire love,
Until the day it goes away,
We get devastated and start reminiscing the past happy time.
This is part of a complete love, to ourselves, and also to the one departs.
当我们爱上某人的时候，
下意识地，我们把它当成这辈子唯一的真爱，
直到哪天它走掉，
我们被打击的体无完肤然后开始回想过去的美好，
这是完整爱情的一部分，无论是对自己还是离去的爱人。
Here, I want you to realize and remember:
If you no longer love someone, try think in this way:
"We had fun, it's a great run. For some reasons, I don't love him anymore, and this is true.
The sooner to end it the less he will suffer, the earlier he can be on the way to find the next great girl and more importantly, the less guilty I will feel. We have both made the journey wonderful for each, nothing to regret about, no one to blame."
现在我希望你知道并记住：
如果你不再爱他，那么试着这样想：
“我们经历了，我们很快乐。由于某些原因，我不再在他了，真的不再爱了。
那么越早结束这段感情，他便可以少受折磨，也可以及早的继续寻觅下一个她，更重要的是，
我会少些内疚。我们带给了彼此一段美好时光，没什么可后悔，没有谁可责备。”
If he no longer loves you, try taking it in this way:
"Make sure he personally and directly tell you he doesn't love you anymore, if he does not dare to beak it to you directly, you should make him do so, cause hearing it from him is critical. Then find a way to alleviate your pain and resentment of him by remembering his contribution to this relationship and how generous he use to be. He does not have such strong feeling towards you, then if you continue to pay, no equal gains which will frustrate and irritate you, eventually, it will turn you into another you with the dark negative side. And try look on the bright side, if he does not love you, then he is not HE anymore, he is another man, and there are many excellent candidates lining up, surely, must be someone you will find charming. So don't be too sad."
如果他不再爱你了，那么尝试这样想：
“首先要确认他亲自直接地表示不再爱你，如果他很暧昧，那么逼他这么做，因为亲耳从他那里听见真相非常重要。然后试着找个方法让自己好受点，也减缓对他的恨意，可以想想他对这段感情的付出，他的慷慨。如果他不再爱你了，你继续付出，得不到回报会让你非常沮丧，最后你的阴暗面就会跳出来。试试想开点，如果他不再爱你了，那么其实他已经不是最初自己爱上的那个他了，况且有那么多追求者排队等我，其中一定会有对上眼的。 所以别太难过太久。”
The worst case, if you both still love each, but the world just does not allow it:
"If because of some objective realistic factors that restrain you two from carrying on the relationship, and you two have fight back and failed. Try thinking that God takes my babe away, God does not bless us, what can we do about it? Maybe God doesn't want to see us get hurt in the future, God just wants to let us suffer less. And they only thing I should do
is to comfort him and pray for him. More importantly, be strong and determined enough
to end it quickly.
God just let him leave to get a different dress and he will return to my life in a different body later on in the future. I will take care of myself and wait for his coming back."
最糟的情况是，你们都彼此还爱着对方，但是世界容不下你们的爱情：
“如果因为客观的现实因素影响你们继续这段感情，并且你们都试着争取了但还是不行。那么试着这样想，上天带走了我的爱人，上天不祝福我们，我们能怎么办呢？也许上天不想看到我们今后受伤，它希望我们少受罪。我唯一能做的就是安慰我的爱人并祝福他。更总要的是，要坚强并坚定自己的决定，让这个过程尽快过去。想想，可能上天只是带我的爱人去换件衣服，会让他以另外一个身份/样子重新回到我身边。而我，会在期间照顾好自己，并等待他的回来。”
当爱已成风
—Donnie Oct.5,2011
There is a day we meet someone by chance or set-up,
There is a day we get attracted to someone for the sweet looking, vigorous mind,
There is a day we accept someone for the good virtues and clearly trust-worthy soul.
那天我们偶然地或者安排地遇见某人，
那天我们被他/她的顺眼的长相和活跃的思维所吸引，
那天我们接受了他/她，因为他/她的善良品质和深值信赖的灵魂。
There comes some day we find the one questionable for the unexpected behaviors,
There comes some day we find the one changed for the less caring than before,
There comes some day we find the one unreliable for the far deviant gesture.
The one could be someone we love and as well ourselves.
有天，因为一些意料外的行为，我们发觉他/她有些小问题，
有天，因为比从前关心少了，我们发觉他/她变了，
有天，因为某个很离谱的事，我们发觉他/她不再可靠。
有时也可能是他/她像上面描述的一样认为我们自己。
Love at first sight, to be sure, is a bonanza,
However, that at most can count as a mental crush or a heart-flip,
It is the dynamite of love to which its fuse just gets ignited,
It takes more to trigger the final blast.
As affected by the length of the fuse and the speed the spark burn through forward.
Possibly and unfortunately the spark gets smothered by a wind-blow, a rain drop,
Or an active force…
To keep the strength of the spark, it requires nurturing and guarding from dual sides.
一见钟情诚可贵，
但那种感觉充其量是头脑发热或心跳加速，
那只是爱情的炸药包刚被点燃引线，
离最终的爆响还很远，
因为这期间还要考虑引线长度和火星燃烧速度，
更可悲的是，火星可能被风霜雨雪或者人为的熄灭，
要想火星持续燃烧，需要双方的细心呵护和捍卫。
Looking from another angle, there is actually not such a thing as love at first sight.
True love might germinate via an eye contact,
But always takes some time, limited or indefinite, to thrive and bring forth fruit.
Although admittedly,
Modern socialization significantly makes it crazily easy for people to present themselves
And meanwhile, shortens the time for people to fall in love with another.
从另一个角度讲，世上压根儿就没有一见钟情这回事。
真爱也许会在初次四目相对的时候萌生，
就算是现在的社交生活方式让人们展现自己变得出奇的简便，
同时让人们能在更短的时间内爱上彼此，
但感情总是需要一段或者无限长时间去成长直到最终结出果实。
When we love someone,
Subconsciously we view it as the only love in our entire love,
Until the day it goes away,
We get devastated and start reminiscing the past happy time.
This is part of a complete love, to ourselves, and also to the one departs.
当我们爱上某人的时候，
下意识地，我们把它当成这辈子唯一的真爱，
直到哪天它走掉，
我们被打击的体无完肤然后开始回想过去的美好，
这是完整爱情的一部分，无论是对自己还是离去的爱人。
Here, I want you to realize and remember:
If you no longer love someone, try think in this way:
"We had fun, it's a great run. For some reasons, I don't love him anymore, and this is true.
The sooner to end it the less he will suffer, the earlier he can be on the way to find the next great girl and more importantly, the less guilty I will feel. We have both made the journey wonderful for each, nothing to regret about, no one to blame."
现在我希望你知道并记住：
如果你不再爱他，那么试着这样想：
“我们经历了，我们很快乐。由于某些原因，我不再在他了，真的不再爱了。
那么越早结束这段感情，他便可以少受折磨，也可以及早的继续寻觅下一个她，更重要的是，
我会少些内疚。我们带给了彼此一段美好时光，没什么可后悔，没有谁可责备。”
If he no longer loves you, try taking it in this way:
"Make sure he personally and directly tell you he doesn't love you anymore, if he does not dare to beak it to you directly, you should make him do so, cause hearing it from him is critical. Then find a way to alleviate your pain and resentment of him by remembering his contribution to this relationship and how generous he use to be. He does not have such strong feeling towards you, then if you continue to pay, no equal gains which will frustrate and irritate you, eventually, it will turn you into another you with the dark negative side. And try look on the bright side, if he does not love you, then he is not HE anymore, he is another man, and there are many excellent candidates lining up, surely, must be someone you will find charming. So don't be too sad."
如果他不再爱你了，那么尝试这样想：
“首先要确认他亲自直接地表示不再爱你，如果他很暧昧，那么逼他这么做，因为亲耳从他那里听见真相非常重要。然后试着找个方法让自己好受点，也减缓对他的恨意，可以想想他对这段感情的付出，他的慷慨。如果他不再爱你了，你继续付出，得不到回报会让你非常沮丧，最后你的阴暗面就会跳出来。试试想开点，如果他不再爱你了，那么其实他已经不是最初自己爱上的那个他了，况且有那么多追求者排队等我，其中一定会有对上眼的。 所以别太难过太久。”
The worst case, if you both still love each, but the world just does not allow it:
"If because of some objective realistic factors that restrain you two from carrying on the relationship, and you two have fight back and failed. Try thinking that God takes my babe away, God does not bless us, what can we do about it? Maybe God doesn't want to see us get hurt in the future, God just wants to let us suffer less. And they only thing I should do
is to comfort him and pray for him. More importantly, be strong and determined enough
to end it quickly.
God just let him leave to get a different dress and he will return to my life in a different body later on in the future. I will take care of myself and wait for his coming back."
最糟的情况是，你们都彼此还爱着对方，但是世界容不下你们的爱情：
“如果因为客观的现实因素影响你们继续这段感情，并且你们都试着争取了但还是不行。那么试着这样想，上天带走了我的爱人，上天不祝福我们，我们能怎么办呢？也许上天不想看到我们今后受伤，它希望我们少受罪。我唯一能做的就是安慰我的爱人并祝福他。更总要的是，要坚强并坚定自己的决定，让这个过程尽快过去。想想，可能上天只是带我的爱人去换件衣服，会让他以另外一个身份/样子重新回到我身边。而我，会在期间照顾好自己，并等待他的回来。”
