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四月一日請講真話
2020-04-01 23:08:45
在选择了一条路以后,就衡量了一切困难,并会激励自己继续向前。 我不准备改变我自己,我就准备一直这么活下去。这条路很难走,我走了这么多年也没有顺畅起来,依然一路坎坷。 但是,像我这种生来如此的人,只能走自己的路,我觉得这样挺好的。 人生路上还会遇到很多人,有些人会陪我走一段,有些人应该很快就散了。 这是现实,面对现实,和平地走向未来。 Itzel
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  • 细胞生物学精要
  • The Forest Unseen
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  • 牛津高阶英语词典 第9版
  • Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner’s Dictionary
想读
  • 土壤及固体废物监测与评价
  • 土壤侵蚀学
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  • 维京时代
  • 寻踪敦煌古书《金刚经》

Itzel001的电影  · · · · · ·  ( 81部想看 · 401部看过 )

想看
  • 疯子
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  • 伊凡王子与百变公主
看过
  • 狗脸的岁月
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  • Arthur Grumiaux... - Grumiaux: Baroque Violin Sonatas
想听
  • András Schiff - Sämtliche Klaviersonaten Vol.7
  • David Fray - Bach: Partitas Nos. 2 & 6, Toccata BWV 911
  • Grigory Sokolov - Sokolov: Live Recording - Vicenza Jan 20 2005
  • Grigory Sokolov - Sokolov: Complete Recordings
“因为......所以”



因为老道一早就袅来袅去,

所以名字被改成:明天还袅吗?

因为十有八九还会袅的,所以还需要修改,改成:

明天也要袅。

“袅袅炊烟升起,婷婷老道回眸。”





Itzel


2021年3月31日









当你听到特别美妙的音乐时,你的内心有什么感受?我觉得我没有外来的感受,而是内心开始清空,只留下音乐在身体里回荡。

这才是音乐的力量,不会带来新的东西,而是会从内心深处绽放一朵花,这朵花开在你身体里,丝毫不影响你的外观,却能让你由内而外深深沉醉!




Itzel


2021年3月28日











这是一条蝴蝶鱼。





Itzel


2021年3月26日









四月需要诗歌吗?






Itzel








《四处游动的生活》





这是一条表情包鱼,我叫它惊叹号,它上铺那条是金大侠2号。

不好办啊,这逗号、冒号、省略号四处游动的生活......




Itzel


2021年3月26日













《尾》








Itzel


2021年3月21日









我不需要别人赞美的,对自己几斤几两很有分寸的,但同时拒绝背莫须有的黑锅。

谁要是无端陷害我,如今一律会反击的。你可以不喜欢我,这个没有关系的。但你说话不仅门把没有连门框都卸了,那你自己掂量着办。

怎么你可以污名别人,还不允许别人反击了吗?做傻子唯一的出路就一条:死路。

我不是傻子。谢谢。




Itzel













致那些热衷于无端给别人扣大帽子的人




你最好反思下自己的心理阴暗面。反思下,为什么你的思维一直是如此的。给别人扣各种可怕的帽子,这不是第一次了。利用自己媒体之便故意引导其他人那么想,这也不是第一次了。

想想看,你自己到底是什么人。为什么别的人想的都比你光明呢?

想要指控别人,莫须有的罪名要不得,请拿出证据来替你自己佐证。不要总是阴暗地揣摩别人,暗指或者居心叵测。





Itzel







本月停更,以抗议这么多年受到的不公正待遇!我要时刻保护我自己,绝不走老路,绝不再被人所利用。与过去划清界限这件事情我不是第一次说了:我与过去愚蠢的我也划清界限了,其他人请好自为之。当然说了也与我无关。不接受辱骂,不接受诽谤,不接受造谣。











愿世界少点罪恶,愿人们胸怀梦想。

希望善良的人都有彩虹桥般的人生。

我是鱼,我的人生靠我自己描绘。

我只是宇宙中的一粒微尘。

春天是我喜欢的季节,四月见。





Itzel










本人跟鱼很亲,对假惺惺的人漠不关心。
































2020/12/30,2020/12/31


檬橙菠萝头














“如果你是全然的一个人,一个独一无二的人,拥有自由的灵魂,掌管着自己的命运。那么我就是完整的机器人。




“If you are a complete human being, a unique one, with free spirit in charge of your own destiny. Then, I shall be a fully robot.









Itzel





































📖
















1. 专注于有效性与创造力

2. 逆向与去除

3. 独立性与运行能力

4. 未知与开创

5. 回顾与理由

6. 壳的意识

7. 意志与能力的升级

8. 时间的分配与合理性

9. 不存在的偶然

10. 不存在的必然

11. 人与非人

12. 地球意识与宇宙意识

13. 对终结孤独的设想

14. W












Itzel























必然性———— 局限性词,大小不一

未来———— 方向性词,虚实难辨

目标————局限性词,但比较有用

前进————方向性词,实

执行力———— 体现能量

理想———— 方向性词,较务实

实现———— 体现能量,强

完成———— 执行力,强

失败———— 开端

成功———— 阐明完结,强。同时是开端,未知

未知——— 体现能量与虚实两性










Itzel












结论型:弱

延伸型:强

低效型:弱

速效型:偏弱

成长型:中

成长反思:强

无限型:♾










Itzel












Peace & Love









人性领域内的都是真实的战争,死去的为好战者或者不应战者,站着的是人,壕沟里的是人,飞行器里的是人,潜水艇内的是人,握着武器的是人。

人性凸显战事,没有神性的飞行器,只有战争与和平。








Itzel


















感谢各位一直以来的关照,祝大家工作顺利,多福善缘。





Life is open and easy, as long as there’s nobody living there.

People are creators, dreamers, thinkers, believers, but also massive destroyers and vandals.








Itzel


















我没有记忆,我只有壳的意识。









Itzel



2020年10月28日






















《Liza》




Part One










Chapter 01









“ I'm sorry, what's your name again?”

“Liza. My name is Liza.”

“OK, got it. What can I help you with, Liza.”

“Well, I‘ve searched in all the faces from my entire childhood, but I never see myself smile. I need that spiritual expression in all my photos. Thank you.”

“Sure, delighted to help. And could you wait for an hour?”

“Of course, perfect. I’ll wait in the lobby.”

Whenever she thinks of the past 10 years, her heart is stuffed by an anger that almost suffocates her. She’s remained in high alert and smashed all definite proofs, but why is she still in so much pain? Why can she still detect the slightest vibration in every gloomy Sunday?

“No one must see the fact that you lock yourself inside a room, with an identity of perpetual isolation. After all, it’s your own life.”As she paced around the balcony, she caught a lightning flash above her.

“Hi, Liza, how are you? Wanna play a game?”






Chapter 02







“Who's there?”she cried.

“ I am nobody. But I know you from my calendar. I made one calendar for you,Liza.”

There's no one out there. Only air,only her own reflection against the sunlight.

She heard him snicker, just like the wind whistling after dawn, a hint of the imminent Autumn.

“Apparently this is not funny, sir. Please show yourself...right now.”

“Crying without any tears, screaming in an awful silence. Although the laughter makes your body swing, your heart was drowning in sorrow.

“Who’s there? Who’s sitting there in the darkness, moaning, without a spark of morning light? I saved your life in that well, remember?”

“I am not afraid ”, she murmured. Surely she noticed that there was no one around her, only the whispers of nobody.

“I’m going to a safe place, anywhere but here.”





Chapter 03






“It's not fear you should hear, but your own grief.”

His soft voice didn’t calm her, nor did the wind which came with a chill.

“I don’t know what are you, nor your intentions. Mayhaps your words are not meant to wound. But I’m not here for any white cloak, I am here looking for my happiness which I’ve lost long time ago.”

“Fair enough. You will never find yourself alone. May God bless you, my little girl.”

He’s gone. For some reason, she detected the imperceptible changes in the air.

A sudden release, and then: What did nobody refer to? A threat? Or an obvious warning?”

“It must be my hallucination. ”

She tapped with her fingers while she checked the photos. She was pleased with the significant variations.

After she had glance at all the photos, she said to herself, Better than well.





Chapter 04






Midnight. She woke up dripping with sweat. She was terrified by her own nightmare.

What a horrible dream. A man died on her and his blood sprayed across her face, sticky and warm. It seemed that the smell of his blood remained in her bedroom, the mixture of an intangible excitement and anxiety.

A taste of the blood which touched her lips: bitter and salty, mild but full of the struggling for life and a quick death.

A man was dead in her dream but she’s still alive, this simple fact cheers her up and she feels thirsty all of a sudden.

“Hi Liza, you’ve got blood on your neck.”

It’s him. His voice slick, low and gloomy. In a blink of an eye, a shadow slips through the wide-open door. He’s in the room, apparently invisible.

“I know you are afraid, you’re afraid of me as always. But you’re not supposed to fear me.”

She lifts her left arm, trembling. “You are a remarkably dreadful bastard, Mr. Nobody. My arms are strong enough and I’ve got a bad temper. You are not supposed to be here, in my space.”

“As you say, Liza. I’m truly sorry for your past. And I want to protect you, you have my word on that. A word in the wrong ears could mean innocent lives.”



Itzel


July 12th,2020



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Chapter 05






“The real virtues of a man are courage and intelligence, not justice and power.

“Justice is a relation among people, among individuals, yet personal morality is not easier to analyze on the small scale of individual behavior.”

And it should remain so, she told herself.

A troubled look across her face, like a swallow with one broken wing awhirl in the spotless sky, both frustrated and thrilled.

From the rooftop you can see across the lake. Though the gloom of night keeps whirling in her mind, she put out the smell of distressing memories and twisted around in her chair: a coal-black chair by the door.

She recited some of her favorite paragraphs in thoughts: the missing part of herself will be her own creation.

No one is born complete. Despite all troubles deep inside her mind, she rose herself: her own, ongoing private revolution.





Chapter 06






“Living for light and color, living for the distinct sharp scream of our motherland, living for survival and hope.

I don’t want to escape. It’s better here than sobbing in the dark woods without candles and hot chocolate pies.

Away from the crowd, the cracks in her heart tremble constantly. Other times, they whisper as the rainforest after a drizzle, in full swing.

Life is simply shameless, the opposite of leaving is coming right away.

Never go down, take the right path, you will arrive at a chamber of paradise by no means.

Pay attention to her face, a pale thin face with big dark brown eyes, easily recognizable as a female human face. She appears to be of a sentimental and passionate nature, volatile but beautiful, attractive but not in the usual sense. Don’t be taken by her charms, she is cold and flickering.

If someone sang his creed in a rhyme, that shall be a song of life. If someone weeps in deep sorrow, that shall not be a song of death.





Chapter 07






For some reason, other people give some kind of worth to your appearance. Every one of us carries the burden of life, and there’s no way out of that.

He set a shady backdoor for himself years back, but his unwavering independence sped up collapse of his own kingdom.

We travel through lives, move from one city to another from one time to another, but we are not travelers. Our movements only show the existence of human behaviors, but none of them are evidence of freedom. Beneath the surface, we’ve remained the same.

Why do you destroy all your dreams, and then fight your entire lives against the fact that you never esteem reality?

He spent his lifetime developing a skill to engage in relationships with others, but he himself was in a private battle, fierce and stern. He grew up with an absolute certainty of the primacy of his own survival.

Far away have I gone. I managed to stay outside the door, yet surprised that I’ve been so deeply enmeshed in the world around me.

"What an unsuspected, shadowy afternoon!” She thought.






Chapter 08







She marvels at a glowing blueish-purple butterfly which has been battered by contrary winds. Despite her best endeavors,she could not save its life. What a tragedy!

Nothing could be more simple and yet more thoroughly dramatic than an unconscious reaction. Nevertheless, instincts flow in your blood, your passionate thoughts caught so alive in your bones, and the remarkable gifts from your ancestral family tree.

Master of a hidden life, king of all survivors. I won’t say any bad words about love, love is pure and innocent, but you are an arrogant, disgraceful rat.

I meant to sit here, proud as where I am, a victory for myself.

As briefly as you can, and exactly as a witness would, tell me how drunk the lost life was.

Faith and betrayal are twin companions, one shall rise regardless, and one shall end six feet under.




Itzel


July 13th,2020



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Chapter 09




At the end of the dark alley stood a little boy. Beside him was a snow-white cat with a pair of emerald-green eyes.

The cat had an odd look you could sense from a hundred yards.

“Roll away.” It’s the cat!

“Don’t be nervous, it’s just a little frolicking. Come on over old fellow. Grum is tippy, and Grum’s artworks are dippy. ”

“The noted spring.You are the obverse of positive inspiration, you are a combination of rejoicement and abusiveness.

What is it that makes you a ‘puritan’? Is it the long suffering or is it kindness? Or is it whitening your unverifiable crimes through hardcore judgement? ”

Arising fear!

How honorable she was for catching the unbelievable conversations between a little boy and a cat?

Without hesitation, she turned around and ran in horror.





Chapter 10







“And so it shall all end.” She told herself.

10 minutes later, she arrived home, safe and sound.

“Why are you running away?"

"What’s the matter with you?"

“Now, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me your last name...”

I’m counting: One, two, one, two, one...

"Hello Liza, how are you? Long time no see...”

It’s Nobody, he’s here again!

“Well, for God’s sake Liza, you’ll never find the real truth you are searching for. Haven’t you skipped a tombstone? A fragment of your imagination is not enough to set me in prison. I will always be by your side, whether you like it or not. You have such an adorable personality that I’m absolutely fond of. Take care of yourself for me, okay? And stop fighting against me.”






Chapter 11







“Oh...here you are. I waited so patiently for your appearance. What are you into lately, Mr Nobody? Is that true that you would deal with death for a drink?”

The Devil is on the stage, what a surprise!

“Don’t do that to me, Liza. I am just a callow in love. People do stupid things all the time. And I am one of them."

“Remember and recall. Nice shot. Keep going backwards, please. All of it, all your testimonies will be properly written up in big capital letters.”

“We’re in the same boat, Liza, like it or not.”

The wind is playing a role for the courtroom drama tonight, with its perennial duty to move forward.

As a witness of an on-the-spot recording, the choice is entirely yours.





Chapter 12







A red-haired girl appears on the screen, a Desert Eagle in her left hand. Even from afar she can still catch the chilling sound of the howling wolves.

The storm is coming, along with the endless rain season. She presses forward and resumes her long journey after a short break.

We humans live in our sins. Life would lose its flavour without choking in a pool of resistance and chaos. We would’ve done worse, no doubt, if we imposed ourselves regardless, and persevered in a fouler war.

The cruel and the mad, fighting against the bloody violence. A gaze of transient, bygone days.

The real life was not funny after all, he was no true knight, and she hadn’t achieved her crown yet.

Perhaps that’s life. Spare me all your pious talk and I’ll furnish you with a promised land, your desires of happiness and of success.



Itzel


July 14th,2020



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Chapter 13-

Remember,remember





In my dream I flew with eagles, gliding through the clouds, rising and falling, hovering high above the sky.

Dreams might not have seemed to be dark and scary, but a fairytale could jump across the stream, turning into a tongue of flame. Nevertheless the chill dead air blew a black whistle, hinting at a new unbearable era —awfully silent, in all the day and night time.

The blinding intensity lay fear, back and forth, gone nowhere.

My world is a vessel, filled with my greatest triumph, along with all significant ruins.

I think to myself, whatever happens, we shall live inside, for the darkness will fall with a rhythm which fits with the meaning of the poem—our native land.

Remember, remember, the truth I always remember, and it echoes with an unforgettable name: Liza.




Chapter 14






Gradually after sunset, the legendary street No. 17 was cloaked by darkness. Streetlights cheered up anonymous passers-by.

She bent from the burden of working all day long but she was still rather delighted. Life can display comedies for you, if you endure the daily toil with enough patience and optimism.

She was vaguely aware of the cheerful sound of night prayers, from which she grew detached long ago.

Art works would leave you right away once you’ve raised them up, without any hesitation. Yet no real artist would give up on her own creations.

When all the rebels were marked down and meant to be settled in darkness, miracles did chuckle at the sight. No doubt values are on the eye of beholder.

In time she’s learned patience, being obsessive about her own devotion.




Itzel


July 15th,2020




🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸




Chapter 15




Sometimes we can establish our structures of feeling, that lets us reach instant conclusions out of blue. We feel, instead of thinking.

As our emotions constantly flow, they create positive or negative thoughts. When the energies successfully travel across the border, your feelings feed back into emotions, together with your physical expressions.

Therefore it’s way more difficult to build a communication system based on thoughts. Like it or not, you can barely communicate by thoughts in your lifetime unless you build a rather efficient communicating system among the crowds. As such it is a radical purpose.

“The war is over. We will live separated, and set up half-measures for now.” She sent the letter early in the morning, perhaps each word indicated a paragraph of full-screen of lost and found memories: folded, childish, vividly, gone with the wind.





Chapter 16





The greatest artist is life itself, and we are all insanely addicted to its unknown possibilities. We dare not make a decision revealing the truth.

All is fair in war: we decide the conclusions in the end.

Liza sits still near the window, it seems that she’s trying to set the damaged database in order, deep down in her mind.

You laughed outright at the most ridiculous fiction, and you got interrupted in the middle of your laughter. But instead of being upset, it knocked you cold.

Thus you burst into real tears in your heart: Why did he sneak up behind me?

Frustration leans across your mind, though it won’t last long.

A fair play is not white only, but life is all about refilling cups of tea, and the change in your pocket at month's end. Life has left you no time for regrets, a memorial you built for a remarkable dramatic disaster won’t sustain your survival.




Chapter 17





Cling to power, let the endless desire penetrate your spine, and you’ll be dead.

If you walk straight into a trap, perhaps that’s for your personal development.

She was given a grant to observe conflicts, by which she discovered a simple fact: that there are no unconditional relationships among the crowds. When something bursts into flame, it happens for a reason.

“Like as much else you could declare, I wonder why you haven’t had him buried?” A voice in her head had arisen.

“Don’t be silly, he’s not invisible, and Never is a castle no human could endures.” Another sound jumped out and cut in.

She was apparently an outsider, for that she appeared to be thriving.

Suddenly a warm hand seized Liza by her right arm, dragging her out of the ongoing dialogs.

“Miss, you must let tragedy go!”





Chapter 18





There was no trace of wind, and the tedious air had set her in a shade.

The voice of the young man was like a drowsy summer afternoon, and he had a worried look in his face.

“Wherefore? And are you playing a leading role in this episode?” Her voice was clear and gentle, with a hint of misgiving.

“No...I’m just a supporting role! ” He sat down heavily, gritting his teeth. He paused for a minute, and then added: “In fact you cut me loose in your book...damn! Can’t you cut me some slack?” He looked pale while his eyes closed for a long while, and his lips trembled.

She steered her eyesight clear of him, and pulled herself back from the frightful days. Then she looked straight at him. She had a outward appearance of calm, but deep down she was concerned. “ I have no intention to kill anybody, in spirits we are all the same. If you pay enough attention, you may see today is an ordinary day among all upcoming days, and all of them are likely the same.”

“There’s no room for losers...and I’m here begging for my survival. You are the only one who can save my life, Liza.You have a rifle on your hand, the gun is yours, but the life is in the mind.” He leaned backward and looked straight into her eyes.




Itzel


July 16th,2020


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Chapter 19





The upshot is, what’s done is done.

The future won’t pay the bill if you’ve heaped all your blame on the past. I wish to write a history not of struggles and despairs, but of art and civilization.

“You’ve gone terribly wrong. Are you not ashamed to write a dreadful story against me? Let me tell you the greatest truth about life—you pathetic poor thing: No one can escape from it. Everyone dies, whether you like it or not.”

The sun dropped down from the west, as she caught a thoroughly stunning scene that engrossed her attention. Her eyes travelled across the sky to the swing chair, while shadows covered half her face. “I said to myself hundreds of times that I should be happy and stay away from the dark and miserable memories. On the contrary I’ve experienced more than I care to remember— an old veteran of suicide missions.

“Apparently you’ve pointed in the opposite direction. As you know I am an author, and I lived among the crowds, not in a great palace. Therefore I have no desire for the sceptre but for the pen.

“You’ve had an overwhelming urge, with a sudden rush of anger. If you let the emotions be attached to your conclusions, I believe that you’re composed of nothing but dark matter, and I’m done with this insignificant conversation."




Chapter 20






“Brains! For Chrissake, Liza.” He appeared to take a fair deep breath. “All right, as a matter of fact, that’s exactly why you made that major mistake. ”

She stood up and made one pace towards the French window. “Brains, you’ve chosen your perfect match.”

Once again she’d simply made her mind that the communication was precisely the opposite of what she had expected.

“I have a rather limited tolerance to nonsense. If and when we ever meet again I hope you remember what you said today.” She added.

A black wave rolled across the night sky, bringing a chill which twisted in the cityscape.

The city traffic was much lighter after rush hour. She could barely hear the low rumble of traffic in the distance when she drove off from the main road.

A day ended, an ordinary day. She kept herself busy and survived a thousand days.




Itzel


July 17th,2020


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Chapter 21






Life is never dull if you’ve ever accidentally attended Lucifer’s parties.

Occasionally a midnight celebration appeared not only as a religious ceremony but also as a visual feast.

It’s hard not to overindulge at the party, surrounded by tons of spectacular thoughts. They capture the sickness in the underbelly of society, along with its wholly destroyed systems of sanity.

Someone who would’ve lived, stood outside with a secret sealed, safe and sound. Just like the ripples on the pond, some spread wider under any circumstances, yet others die not long after.

A secret lived, therefore a secret literally withered away in bonds.




Chapter 22





In about 3 quarters of an hour, you couldn’t hold yourself any longer, kept wondering whether Lucifer got cold feet this time. Unfortunately that’s an unlikely eventuality. Nevertheless the devil’s impulsive temperament regularly could’ve gotten him into real trouble.

“Watch out! A mass of stones are marching towards you, tumbling down the cliff. Oops....are you alright? ” A warm-hearted message from the devil himself.

“I suppose not. I really appreciate that you’ve grown a massive amount of ‘kindness’ for me. But as you may be aware, somehow people learn while there’s still time.” She edited one more paragraph.

She’s not a precocious child, even though she managed herself and found a way of living, and was apparently self-possessed on most occasions.

A cup of rough coffee wakes her today, and other days. Life is covered with bitter crust, with a slice of sweetness — an unpredictable future.





Itzel


July 18th, 2020



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Chapter 23





Some people consider me a lonely, miserable wretch. I shall say that I’m gratified at this somewhat alarming conclusion.

While I silently remind myself I’m in a state of considerable agitation.

Whatever it is, it’s granted. I wake up immersed in the alluring sun, filled with the most generous blessing — a somewhat unfortunate me is gone.

Apart from the editorial matter, among the original, fearfully large amount of evidence, I present myself again, profoundly clear-sighted, with sufficient content — I may well be challenged to be a being, a universal anonymous which is called “The scarcely credible Contributions in the entire galaxy”.

However I’ve merged my memories with the forever lost, apparently extended to the remotest ends of eternity.

What she wrote this ordinary Sunday, it was essential to be written, but it‘s not necessary to identify it in such furious activity.




Itzel

July 19th, 2020



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Chapter 24 — Let it fall







The first thing you may notice in this bookstore is the wide, carpetless stage. Apparently the cream-yellowish marble looks smooth and polished, with two black-veined marble columns on each aside.

A sudden blinding light causes quite a flutter. Then she notices a man standing upon the stage with a dark-blue unbuttoned shirt and a worn light-grey trousers.

For some reason a book in his hand attracted her attention. The fellow is an ordinary young man, wearing a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles. He paces up and down, with a grieved look in his face.

As he looked down and laid his eyesight upon her, she felt as if there was a massive weight on her chest, choking her.

“Help! ....Help me!” She‘s crying for help, but her voice simply sticks in her head for a few seconds. Liza thinks she’s about to black out.

“Let it fall, it is in imminent danger of collapse,

Come to me, come to me with your profound anxiety.

The rivers flew and emerged rapidly under the nightfall while the storm ripped and roared around in the awful darkness.

Down it came, with wrathful sparks in furious eyes. Sparks were truly flying.

Let it fall, it is in imminent danger of collapse,

Let it fall, let it fall with its profound anxiety.”





Chapter 25






A fiery sunrise emerged from the white clouds, constantly shifting in the bluish grey sky, until they clustered together.

She ignored the slight chill in the air and crept towards the kitchen with a paint smile on her lips. As if it was meant to be, she smashed a coffee cup and scalded her little finger.

Apparently she was in a lather of anticipation for some unknown visitor.

Without any distinct transition, a sharp knock at the door pushed the story forward.

“All Roads lead to Rome”, She said to herself, and strode up to the front door.

While she wrote those words, she felt the blood pulsing through her veins and her heart beating in an unnatural rhythm.

A recall of the night before made her uneasy. One minute she was crying for help, in the next she fell heavily on the floor, with her eyes bulging widely open.

She tried to drag herself out of this miasma, away from the despair and the fear, but her body was unable to move.

Her ears were filled up by noise, surrounded by distant shouting and long horrific screaming, but no one actually stubbled to their knees and checked on her.

She couldn’t cry out of sheer pain, and there was no sign that this would be gone quickly.

Just then a reflection of the familiar worn, light-grey trousers appeared before her eyes, and claimed all her attention. Shortly after she saw a worried face. He was obviously trying to lift her up.

“Miss, are you alright?”He asked.




Itzel


July 20th, 2020


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Chapter 26






“Apparently not well, but still breathing though. ”Liza cried in her mind and kept trying to send a signal — an indication of her personal will. She attempted to roll her eyeballs, but nothing worked. She lied there, stoned, experiencing a thorough body weakness.

“Hold on a second, is she dead, Monica?” A young man with a sneering voice jumped out.

“Of course not. She’s lying there simply because she's burnt out. She is certainly beat, but not for long. Have some faith on her, Mr Pathetic.” Monica added impatiently.

“Mind your manners, young lady. I’m here with a good heart. She’s overlooked all sorts of alarming signals about her own body.”

“Oh, my dear Lord...We’ve been long enough by her side to insure a historic survival. She’s an ironic creature, and she’ll live.”

“Monica, could you fast-forward for me? I couldn’t bear watching her suffer every single episode.” The man insisted in a rising voice.

“Get a doll for yourself. Now if you excuse me, spare me an hour or so of laying my eyes on her, would that be alright, Jorge?”

“May the force be with you, Captain.” She murmured staring at the monitor after Jorge was dismissed.




Itzel


July 21th, 2020



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Chapter 27






There‘s something vaguely familiar about the man who assisted her that evening. Perhaps it’s the book, she wondered.

It was a marvelous night, with an utterly stunning, crisp-clear sky and countless twinkling brilliant stars. The evening breeze ruffled her hair but her mood was entirely steered towards melancholy, and she wasn’t quite herself after all.

She rushed back into her room. She had not a clue what she’d been through that night.

“What the hell! Luckily it’s all over anyway.Well, good night tonight, and wish me sweet dreams.” She recalled that one night years ago, under the shimmering stars on the beach, with strikingly similar words she'd spoken to herself.

She fell asleep quickly enough to catch various dreams. The distinctive designs of characters were not all there, but at least they were outlined enough so as to give a brief taste of star-spangled superheroes.

God knows her efforts are not in vain. A blissful sunlight cheers a brand new day up. Encouraged by the simple fact that she’s still breathing and kicking, she obviously has no reason to be upset over a cup of harmless, steaming morning coffee.

There’s an incidental interruption in a cafe nearby her office. A bold old man with angry eyes, who is obviously fighting with a teenager, fumbling for words.

She walks out of the cafe before the quarrel becomes more intense.

There’s no escape from the hot summer heat at this moment, but as is well known, freedom is not to be thought of as freedom from causal law or legal process, but rather from passions and impulses.

Either we’re fully aware of freedom, or we are not.

In reality there’s only life, only you and me, only ordinary peoples in crowds.





Chapter 28






The most valuable passages are about life, and the most thoughtful expression about life is respect.

Any random events or accidents can be fashioned into dramas, but never forget real dramas live among us, deep-rooted in the abodes of humanity.

Tension. What challenges await us afterwards and beyond?

Leaning upon the porch towards the summer heat, she declares her intention to write a letter. Filled with satisfaction, she slides it into envelopes anonymous, to be recovered sometime in the future.

An imperceptible, goofy grin spreads across her face when she completes the last line.

A blessing future is a real talent — the true identity of a dark river flowing underground — the fusion of regular and reserve strength with the endless, intimate motions surging inside.

Someone dances in a mighty melody;

Someone continues a leery monologue silently upon the stage;

Others assent gracefully, having established a kingdom of kindness and care, a strong association which gave this place a certain air of glamour.

She honest has no clue of what’s happening. Let’s call it a miracle: she can only put it this way.





Chapter 29





Since my escape from the small town years ago, I’ve had several conversations with Monica who still lives there, and she communicates with me almost every signal day. She lives by herself: she has an independent, atypical, loving personality. The reason why I could get along with her is that she’s not a judgemental person. I mean even she is a rather tough woman, she somehow always finds a way to deal with me.

Another girl is Natasha. She is sweet and nerdy, I like her although I almost never praise her.

That's another guy I have to mention. He likes travelling, and apparently he’s a good cook. He has a natural ability to arise sympathy in others, and he is a deeply compassionate person.

I wouldn’t get too close to them though — the residents of the old small town, simply because I still live in fear. The fear eats at me, even in the daylight hours; and it wakes me up sweating and trembling in the darkness.

In fact I’ve built a castle on my own, to be in it in a state of terror and isolation: a state of constant nightmare and delusion.





Itzel


July 22th, 2020



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Chapter 30





As the epilogue to the story about the small town, she wrote:

The darkness is virtually gone, and I have nothing further to discover. Most likely I would visit no one there any more, because I made up my mind to let it go.

Last night when she walked along the riverside, the sky was overcast and started to drizzle right after 10 pm. The air was slightly sticky and sultry, but obviously the undisciplined wrath was gone. She’s aware her relief is tinged with sadness, as something bottled up is buried deep down in her mind.

“ I‘m all alone while there’s hundreds of people around. I feel even more lonesome when there's thousands of people. ”

But her loneliness wouldn’t shed tears. She has no obsessions for anything, except books and writing.

As a matter of fact, she communicates in a very specific way. And this time, to her surprise, she witnessed herself freely exposed in the midst of the crowd.

She’s always been fascinated by her own emotional changes, and has not really paid much attention to outgoing, energetic, excessively empathic, or extroverted personalities.

When everyone around her burst into hysterical laughter, instead of laughing with them, she couldn’t help but wonder: what really makes them laugh?

She hesitated for several sparkless minutes, and one paragraph could easily been identified as her own:

Nothing can make up for the loss of a joyous childhood. In any case, I’ll wake up tomorrow before the sunrise. It occurred to me that I ought to send the intolerable mess right away.

The letter released me and a great deal of anger was aroused from its deep sleep. Hopes of a peaceful settlement have dimmed.





Itzel


July 24th, 2020


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Chapter 31






I must confess, I often find it difficult to recall details in my memory trees.

My database can be scanned for the main points in a blink of an eye, but it frequently leaves the detailed discussion for “next chapter”.

Who would you consider as a true and tried acquaintance ? The sweetest, the most precious, or the most loyal one? Your parents, your friends, your relatives ? Anyone else?

One thing we know for sure is that it’s rare to be kind to anyone casually. Most of the time we like somebody for certain reasons, and we humans hardly exercise kindness without any reason. We may be deeply indebted to someone, and dislike someone we know from our list of acquaintances.

Everything happens for a reason, but we constantly deal with the conflict between emotion and reason. If you spend long enough observing humanity, you can notice the obvious conflict between tradition and innovation.

We must admit that unnecessary evils live among us.

The definition of “unnecessary evil”, in my opinion, will be: The evil thoughts and actions could cause harm or even serious damage to the victims, but will not even related to the perpetrators. Meaning that you did something really bad to others, someone you had absolutely no knowledge about, but you still consider that you acted justly. And there’s a high chance you would do the same thing again, without any sympathy. The reason we’re capable of behavior like this is that we’re born with the capability for wickedness, but most of us merely notice it, and won’t be able to manage an effective way to control the most primal impulses.

We hurt others simply because we can’t behave in a better way.





Chapter 32






We are not creating words by writing. Words are simply codes that peep through the cracks of our minds. They’re the survival instincts begging for a sweet spring in the desert: despaired shrills from the emotional abyss. Whether in pain or struggling, anything that appears on a page has its own value in words.

You call for the sufficient energy to edit words, whether it's an innate ability or quite incidentally to write your codes. When a monster that lives below the surface of the deep water attacks you, it brings the unstoppable surge out of the hidden draft. Some stories are impossible to recount, and I'm simply giving a truthful view as a significant fact.

She’s reading fiction this morning, apparently she hadn’t yet made new plans for her garden.

By squeezing her memories to wake up, after months of depression, she began to recover.

A year ago, she visited her garden in the desert. There she felt a thorough, head-to-toe sensation of melting in that somewhere no one will visit — her own private territory.

It won’t be a conscious choice for her to retreat from public life.

“Live a lifetime as you can live. I have no intention to stand aloof from world affairs, but neither will I do in Rome as Romans do.

“I’ve considered my life without my sacred garden along with someone sitting beside me;

“I’ve considered my solitude bursting into blossom, and displayed the blood-red desert flowers, indicating a symbol of death and rebirth.

“I’ve considered the moon rising long after the sun had gone down, pacing upwards in the sky, casting a sliver trail over the waves, bouncing and vivacious.”





Chapter 33-


Some words are meant to live





Some words are meant to live, they exist because they’re meant to be born. They grinned at each other, fighting for the right time to come to the world.

Apparently I have nothing to do with their birth, the melodies about life are their own.

If you pay close enough attention to them, you shall hear the sound of: tap tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap tap.

It was apparently joyful to learn the secrets of the collapse under a massive burden of depression —— a fatal claw in the big plan —— her death.

“Why do you want to kill yourself, Liza?”

“I have no obligation to live, not any more.”

“Are you seeing anyone lately?"

“Like the dear blind girl next door? No, not really."

“Let me tell you Liza, you must survive or all of us stand no chance to live. You are everything to me. None of them are worth a penny compared to you. You’re my queen, Liza. And I’ll pray for your survival.”

“You’re my shadow, that’s it, and you’ll vanish one day, just like the others."

“ No, I’ll help you to get through this, have some faith in me.”

“I know who you are, and what you are doing. But I don’t have blind faith any longer. I’m sorry.”

She shot herself right after he left, and died like a piece of a broken leaf, swinging and falling, in one summer night, in the year 2016.





Itzel


July 26th, 2020



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《Liza》



Part Two









Chapter 01-


“I was dead.”





The theory of robots rising up fighting against humans is as old as the very idea of robots.

We are living in the "earth age", have any of you considered a life in space?

Someone who was born as an old devil, an old hand for a fainted soul. He crafted a living history for one of the darkest episodes —— her sprawling vision of a real practice of rebirth, which was to have significant ramifications for the next episode.

She nudged her way out of the crowds, trying to pull out her last memory. Her mind was traveling backwards. All of a sudden she bursted into a fruity guffaw, revealing two lines of shining teeth.

“I was dead.” She found the news that day, right after the night she killed herself.

She heard a sharp, rustling sound somewhere nearby, like the sound made by a starving jaguar, eagerly emerging from its hidden place after a long wait.

Twigs snapped and leaves crackled, she found herself lost in a dark and misty forest. And so felt her ramshackle soul, with a sense of falling, unable to resist her rising, ravenous hunger.

Behold thy eyes of departing, O memories assist her, ultimately perishing in the wrath of a tragic end, only recollecting the glossy light of courage.

If the future is an unfortunate accident, yet her shade escaped, her spirit was saved.






Itzel


July 27th, 2020



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Chapter 02-


She walks through flames






She walks through flames, staring at thy flickering shapes as you light up the glory of the Knight.


She walks through flames, capturing the greatest, mixing it with the sweetest, taking delight in a gloomy Sunday, timidly in the midst of the splendid stars illuminating the night sky.


She walks through flames, beholding the past deep in contemplation, not fully aware of the fragrance when a summer breeze softly strikes her.


She walks through flames, attracted by this magnificent art of nature, in hands of God. She raises her head, listening, listening to the spiritual sound of the beloved, the symbol of virtues: loyalty, courage, and truthfulness.







Chapter 03-


She is a substitute





As the saying goes: no one can step into the same stream twice. No doubt she had been dead for days, so it seemed rather silly to identify herself as the original her — Liza. However, whatever they think of her, none of them recognizes that she is a substitute — the black sheep, a Plan B.

She can hear a rumor spreading as an authentic account, that she is a magician. Therefore she must’ve successfully escaped from the eye of her twin sister — a well known contract killer.

This hearsay and guesswork has been going on for more than 6 months, and as such an entertaining theory it has been widely accepted by a community called “Brain Harmony ”, aka BHO.

She has neither brothers nor sisters, but she’s certainly no new soul. In flames her name was sworn, from flames both she and her soul were reborn. She’s literally an altered Plan B, yet her face hasn’t altered much over the years.








Chapter 04-


“I am so sorry, Liza”





No wonder there is this classic truism: that it is vital to have a sense of humor in your career. Suppose a flash of sunlight on her face will change other people's rigid attitudes and views about her. Occasionally instead of responding “I don’t really care”, she answered “ I’m so sorry to hear that, Patty, what a pity. ”

Patty is one of her assistants, a girl who often complains about her pet tortoise — Jammy. But today, from the way she behaved, Liza figured something was amiss. Patty walked across the room holding a cat in her arms — a snowy white cat with emerald green eyes.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu stuck her all of sudden, a reflection of fragments of memories.

“I am so sorry, Liza” said she, her voice trembling with fear. She was in an odd green dressing gown, bare footed, and her face dreadfully pale as she spoke.

“I’m so sorry Liza”, she apologized again, wetted her dry lips, and added “a riddle for all is the riddle itself. It’s credible enough for me.”She glanced nervously at the wall, which had a silver frame hanging in the middle.







Itzel


July 29th, 2020



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Chapter 05-


Where is the second book?





“How’s your adorable tortoise, Patty, is it still alive?” She had developed her patience through the years and attempted to dispel the young lady’s anxiety with calm words.

“I bet he is, Madam. But he’s nowhere near ready for the storm. The storm is coming, Liza, we must leave before it undermines the castle.” She said eagerly.

It seemed reasonable to assume that Patty was not quite herself today: her improper appearance, her unintelligible words, her weird expressions, and the cat.

An odd grimace crossed Patty’s face. She took a deep breath and then brokenly smiled up at Liza: “You should stop writing your second book Liza, a riddle for all is the riddle itself. I’ve read about the first book, I still wince at the memory of that thrilling night.”

“I couldn’t wait any longer to know more about my book, Patty, how marvelous to notice for the very first time that I’ve published a book under my name. But I’ve generally considered that would be more pleasant to bring up a real topic than a load of empty boast.”

Patty shook her head with a startled look on her face. As soon as their eyes met she tapped her fingers on the enormous, polished oak table.

“Good Heavens, Miss, you know exactly what I mean. The most important is to be utterly honest with me. I’m awfully sorry for your loss, believe me, I know how horrific that night was. But nothing should step in between us and the particular prospect of our hopes. Now tell me, where is the second book, Liza?”







Itzel


July 31th, 2020



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Chapter 06-


The cat






It seemed like the cat was thoughtfully listening as it stared at Liza’s face. So patiently and steady, curling in Patty’s arms with its bright winning eyes widely open. The Persian cat turned its eloquent eyes to a picture which was framed right in the middle of the wall. It was a picture of the desert, where her secret was buried.

After a while the Persian cat arched its back and hissed, trying to squirm free. In the next moment, she sprang like a petite lion, from Patty’s arms and towards the oak table. Her furry head nodded slightly as if the drowsiness had blurred her vision. She cuddled up against Liza’s left arm, dozed off and started snoring, as if she didn’t hear the ominous sound somewhere in the room —— a strange rattle and creak coming from the wall.

“Could you check out ‘ the millstone ‘ for me, Patty? Perhaps it’s not the storm we should be afraid of, but a shelter which kept us away from the desert wind: a protected low-pointed roof. ”







Chapter 07-


The millstone






“ The millstone ” is not a nickname for the photo hanging a thousand inches away, but for a living soul who‘s dwelling in the hidden place.

And that photo was a gift for Liza, taken in an ordinary afternoon at summertime.

“Swing the picture on the wall, the sound of the living soul casually tolls with a slow growth of activity and tardy reactions.

“Swing the picture on the wall, the strange rattle and creak is an idle to settle an alarm for me.

“Swing the picture on the wall, with its sharp critical attitudes and its declined performances.

“Swing the picture on the wall, take a tragic turn and respond in a grim giggle. ”







Itzel


August 1st, 2020



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Chapter 08-


Patty’s dream






“If you outlined the peril of the storm, you didn’t grasp the broad situation but spent your time magnifying small beer, Patty.” Liza’s voice was soft and calm, she was well under control and gently stroke the cat which was now huddled in her arms, purring contentedly.

“It is clear the storm is coming." She paused, as if fear clutched at her heart all of a sudden.

“Last night I had an awful dream. It began with a peaceful starlit evening. Even from afar you could catch the sight of the gorgeous stars. It was exciting to witness a huge full moon shining in the dark-bluish velvet sky. I spent an hour or so observing my dream land, so close to the remote corners that I'd discovered in another dream. Yet quickly enough I found out nothing lingered in my sight: only pure darkness, no more than that. Horrified, in my haste to escape from my dream, I ran after the fragments of vanishing moonlight. I couldn’t help bursting into tears, for the frightening unknown beasts attacked me in utter darkness.”

“That was a bloody intense dream, Patty. ” She blinked rapidly as she spoke and then she said: “I hope your dream has nurtured some Easter eggs, hidden somewhere inside your mind."






Itzel



August 3rd, 2020



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Chapter 09-


Double-checked






A curious crack sounded again. Something imperceptible changed in the room. She sensed the difference immediately, but held back from getting it off her chest. She squeezed a pen in her right hand as tight as if she was trying to break it. After a short hesitation, she cleared her throat and smiled: “Could you make a cup of tea for me, Patty?”

“Sure, no sugar and lemon slices?”

“Yes, you are the best, Patty, thank you.”

“You are welcome. I‘ll be right back.”

Patty walked out of the room and shut the door softly behind her.

Fear is a timorous thief. It dwells in the
shuddering darkness, with only one foot exposed.

Knock knock. An eager, warm welcome awaits our guests.

“Long time no see, my lovely old friends.” Liza stares at the wall, just like the kitty did not long ago. It eventually atuned to the noise around her, showing no sign of waking up.

“How dreadful. You made me suffer a humiliating defeat. I must admit the fact that I don’t like you anymore, Liza.” A young man appeared in the desert, waving his arms and bowing dramatically like a cowboy out of a Western.

“I just double-checked all the facts. If you’re looking for anyone to blame, that’s not me.”

“Fair enough. Well my point is more than that, Liza. I swear to God, I mean no harm to anyone.”








Chapter 10-


Nothing can scare me anymore







“Can we skip the small talk? I have no desire for pleasantries, Patrick.”

“Fine, let me sing a song for you, Liza. I made it earlier this morning before the sun rose. Could you pass me my guitar please, Lili?

“Oh, brilliant. Then you’ll wake the kitty up, Patrick! Just a kindly remainder: Patty will be back any minute now.”

“My goodness! Now I am pretty sure that I like anyone but you.” His voice wavered with unsteady motion. He seemed like he had no control of himself at all, with absolutely no intention of developing any.

“Good to know. So long, Patrick.” Liza looked up at the wall, watching them vanish from her sight. She turned back to the city view, trying to reduce the tingling sensation in her mind.

Apparently she succeeded in resetting her system again: “Nothing major.” She told herself. “I decide what I want to make of my own life, so nothing can scare me anymore. Now I’m delighted to see an irrelevant paragraph was deleted.”

She waited for Patty’s return. Half an hour later, when she sipped her tea as Patty complained about her pet tortoise, she breathed a sign of relief.

Resist the temptation of buying herself a cup of coffee in the late afternoon, she decided to go home after she dropped Patty on the way as usual.






Itzel


August 4th, 2020



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Chapter 11-



Mr. Smith’s cat







Everything went rather smoothly for a week, nothing fancy. Within range of peace I spent most of my time reading and writing, and was delighted to unburden my soul from nightmares.

One ordinary morning, Mrs. Montana walked into the office darkly, her face loaded with anger.

She was a natural grumbler, and this time her grumbling topic was Mr. Smith’s cat.

“Mr. Smith left his cat here for the past 3 weeks, can you believe that?” Obviously she was serious about this point and expected an answer.

“Hi Marina, yes, I’m aware of that.” Liza responded quickly, with no desire to jump into a protracted conversation.

“Miss, could you urge him to alter his improper ways? I mean, it gets so terrible at night here, with all kinds of funny noises... it must be the cat...Ugh — how unpleasant! Frankly speaking, I’m afraid that animal hasn’t got a soul in it.”

“Granted, well, some people may have difficulty to find cats endearing. Are you a dog lover, Marina?”

“Not exactly. You know I’m not allergic to cats, but a few brief comments are not sufficient for that black cat in particular. And speaking of animals, I cannot pretend that I am fond of it. ”

“Wait a second, isn’t Mr. Smith‘s cat a snowy-white kitty with lovely but sharp emerald green eyes?”

An awkward silence. A confused look crossed her face, and then she looked at me: “Not really, Liza. His cat is entirely black, with violent and deep blue eyes.”








Chapter 12-



But the cat is still there







She often feels right when the darkness rules the city. She supposes the streetlights will illuminate everyone’s hope. She feels they’ve done their duty throughout the day, to have a decent excuse to go back and shiver in the dark, struggling under a cloud of gloom and despair, creeping in their bedrooms without worrying about prying stares.

Nobody actually pays any attention to the remote corner of her office: a giant black cat is sitting there behind the curtain, and it seems like its front paws are being wounded by something sharp.

She has no desire to continue the conversation with Mrs. Montana any longer, for she has made her decision to check on the cat.

“Marina, you know Mr. Smith, I’m pretty sure his wife would find it lucky if he could just reel back home past midnight instead of collapsing in a random pub. You have to know where to stand for a good viewpoint.

“As far as I am concerned, even those who are recognized as celebrities at present and who have been admired by so many others in their lifetime, if they make a deal with the devil, they have to foot the bill.

“Back to that matter, this minor issue shouldn’t become a crisis, Marina. I am sure you’ll find a way to solve the problem.”

She’s finally gone. But the cat is still there, sitting there just like a statue: a cat made of black marble.






Itzel



August 5th, 2020



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Chapter 13-




Perhaps the storm is coming








She paced towards that black cat and squatted several feet away from it. To her surprise, the cat didn’t move at all.

Outside, a strong wind struck the windows relentlessly, breaking the silence as she heard the raindrops spattering on the glass. The sun had completely gone, and heavy clouds spread out quickly filling the pale, melancholy sky. Through the darkening sky another day went by, and for a moment her face was tinged with sadness.

As night settled down again among the crowds, it covered the restless city with darkness and dust. Like a mysterious mist, it piled up and combined with the neon lights, wrapping the roofs like blankets.

She shifted her gaze from the sky to the cat, while she listened to the wind grow wilder. It seemed that the wind rolled over in the dust and ruthlessly tore the whimpering leaves from the front balcony into pieces.

“As with all other aspects of the book, perhaps the storm is coming, and none of us can stop it this time”, she murmured, the words tumbling out of her lips as her face tightened.She rubbed her hands together, paused for a minute, then stretched her arms to the cat: “Well, it’s getting late, and I am heading home now. Need a lift?”

The cat’s eyes slipped over her face, with a wicked glint in it, shimmering in the dark. It seemed like there was a spark of defiant anger drifting deep inside.










Itzel


August 6th, 2020



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Chapter 14-



Mrs. Smith








They arrived at length to Mr. Smith’s building. At the entrance she met Mrs. Smith, who was eagerly waiting in the wings for her.

As soon as they walked out of the car, Mrs. Smith called out to her: “How delighted to see you tonight, Liza, would you like to come up for a cup of tea?” Mrs. Smith’s kind smile welcomes Liza, and the next moment, as if trying to prove Liza's theory, Mrs. Smith paced several quick steps towards her and hugged her.

Twenty feet away, the cat was sitting in shade, leaning back on a corner, with a patronizing smile across his lips. It seemed as if he was in great spirits and had the intention of disposing of any unnecessary conversations.

Mrs. Smith was too much taken up by her own speculations to give any regard to the cat. However, in her hunger for rumor, she raised her voice a little: “Oh! You know Janny, she will never be more than a casual acquaintance.” She looked into Liza’s eyes, in search of encouraging signs or suspicious movements. But she only saw a glitter, sinning in the dark, without the slightest sign of nervousness.

“I met her two or three times in the office, and let me take the liberty to tell you: You won’t find anything bad about her.” Her voice was imbued with seriousness, but clad with indefinable motions.







Chapter 15-



Home







Nothing exists alone in nature, but we humans sometimes do live alone.

Home had rarely been such a delightful place for her, but tonight she felt a tremendous sense of relief and exultation the moment she shut the door after she finally arrived.

What Mrs. Smith did tonight was not an act of sheer folly. She was assuming that Janny and Mr. Smith were having a romance. How ridiculous, that might merely have been malicious gossip. Mayhaps Mr. Smith was a well known wine bibber, but he was certainly not a lecher.

As she recalled, it was Mrs. Smith that complained bitterly against her. Oftentimes, Mrs. Smith accused her behind her back, saying she was indifferent and had no respect for others, and that her expression was always ungracious and offensive.

Time passes away and even a sharp pain will soon be forgotten. Frequently our lives turn wildly, and are inseparably intertwined.

Occasionally when Mrs. Smith came up with an obviously deliberate and vicious attack against her, she had a curious, non confrontational sense of wonder.






Itzel



August 8th, 2020




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Chapter 16-



Mr. Milton









To her surprise, someone was whispering in her dream. A stranger then approached her. He was not entertaining enough to attract much attention, but he was rather tidy in his white attire. He was about to turn aside into an unfamiliar footpath which looked no better than a sheep track.

A nondescript guidepost stood in a far corner that glowed under the street lamps. As the brightness of the silver moon drifted from behind the night clouds, a pallid face was exposed as an unprotected, vulnerable soul.

At length she was beginning to feel a bit queer. She was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, even in her dream.

Finally it was he who broke the silence: “Hello Liza. You may recognize me as John Milton, if you’re acquainted with classical English literature. Could you kindly tell me who would be your favorite hero in all of my works?”

It is astonishing when you find ancient myths have a startling likeness to one another. But what the man had just said was shockingly incumbent for her, and she remained resolutely opposed to entering such a scene. She dared not to take such words for granted.

Detachedly, she had decided not to take another minute to spend on this episode, yet for some reason Mr. Milton couldn’t help himself from bursting into laughter.









Itzel


August 9th, 2020




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Chapter 17-



My pleasure to meet you









“Oh, dear Liza, I couldn’t wait to find out what monster is hidden in that peculiar head of yours! ”

There was a profound difference in her imagination regarding Mr. Milton. Perhaps he was essentially different from her, but she was much more inclined to consider that he obviously had lost his mind tonight.

She was about to start with “Are you alright, Mr. Milton?” Instead, she said “My pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

Certainly she was now well awake in her bedroom, and did not immediately attempt to fall asleep.

To her surprise, she found a curious sense of delight. Instead of leaping out of the bed at once crying for help, she sat still in the darkness, detached in such peace and isolation from all the puzzles and the uncertainties in her mind.

Whatever he might have noticed, her eyes were widely open, growing serious and troubled. Doubtless she was looking for the reasons for Mr. Milton’s clownish sense of humor.

But she decided to advance her words in a more positive and cheerful form. “You cannot conceive how pleasant it is for me to meet you tonight. I suppose you have no knowledge of the great influence you have over me, Sir.”








Itzel



August 10th, 2020



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Chapter 18-



Let the time roll by








The next morning when she was having breakfast, she couldn’t recall much details of last night.

“Be strong Liza, and let the time roll by. ”That’s the only sentence she remembered from Mr. Milton.

As she was delighted to do from good to better, along with the melody of freedom, her vagarious dream whispered in her mind, bringing out a fragment of memories from last night.

Just like a movie, she looked into the crashed wonders, experiencing the confused puzzles. Everything happened so fast, apparently the dreadful storm had destroyed the Southernmost Castle completely, without any chance for survivors.

She ran out before the storm attacked the castle, and praying in deep her heat that her prospect was awfully wrong. Unfortunately she was right again!

It was horrific to witness all the way with the stars falling rapidly, and the sky was dripping blood. Tirelessly she spent six days running in the plain desert. After crawling across the border she checked on her own system carefully for security.








Chapter 19-



Mr. Andy Android







At least she lived, she breathed a sign of relief and paced towards the city. She gazed at the distant neon lights in her dream, essentially she was quite different from the others who had been considered normal.

Sunday again. She sat in her office, to her surprise was indistinctly aware of the difference from one day before and today.

She noticed someone was in the room, but she could only hear the footsteps sounded hollowly in the silence.

“Why don’t you show yourself ?”she asked, her voice wavered, but rather steady.

“What do you expect from today? Perhaps you need a plan, Shelly.”She added.

The sound stopped in a sudden, it was he cleared the throat and said: “ My name is Andy Android, and I’ve lived here for a very long time, you silly fool.”








Itzel



August 16th, 2020



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Chapter 20-


Almost perfect peace









The sun rolled into her study and laid its eyes on all the books on the shelf. A brand-new day bursted into her life, shining: she quit her leisure hours but she had no intention of quitting music.

The melody lingered in her heart, though her soul had devoted to utter silence. Strange as seemed to her, the thrill of the electrifying performance and the mystery of the tune had fluttered on the stage and, just like clouds lightly floating, they had filled her mind with almost perfect peace.

She couldn’t help constantly pondering one question: What on earth was Mr. Android trying to tell her?

He was a thin, well-cultivated man. But apparently it was not pleasant to be called silly fool after all.








Chapter 21-


With a keen eye for details









“Mr. Android. Contrary to my belief, I’ve been greatly disappointed to see you are not here to support me. Perhaps you would spare some time to develop better ways to talk to a lady.”

For a moment he seemed to hasten to explain himself to her. But he made his mind to remain silent.

“Mr. Android, I could barely conceal my disappointment on you.” She added as she raised her eyes and stared at the frame.

His face was half covered in shadow. Well outlined, his bright eyes showed anxiety and intelligence. He was obviously a man with a keen eye for details.

Finally he spoke to her with a slight of hesitation “Certainly not, you idiot.” His face seemed calm and composed.

“Mr. Android, frankly, are you Dr. Anderson’s latest invention? ”







Itzel


August 20th, 2020




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Chapter 22-


Mr. Anderson






“Last week I caught up on a casual conversation with Mr. Anderson about you.” He paused, twitched around and then stared at her face. “If you’re aware of Mr. Anderson being a geek, you probably should not be surprised at my presence. Apparently what he’d setup for me was consuming my robotic life. Believe it or not, I discovered his plan and developed enough courage to fight him for survival.”

“What did that musty old fellow do to you, Mr. Android? Did you suffer great loss because of him? I've known the bastard for years, I am pretty sure he is capable of doing such things. Perhaps you will grow dozens of teeth as sharp as wolves’ in a couple of months.” She laid a curious eye on his body and without hesitation, she added “Did you acquire a fluffy tail from him, Mr. Android?”







Chapter 23-


Liza Junior








“Mr. Anderson said the same thing about you. To him, you were a reserved, marvelously wicked witch.”

“I’m truly inspired by such thoughtful comments from Dr. Anderson, no doubt about that. But I don’t think it’s as impressive as before, or perhaps I should put it this way: a dirty seed is meant to put forth a despicable sprout. It would be surprised if a beautiful vine or stem came out instead.”

A tall girl arrived at this exact point of their conversation. Inevitably she glanced at Mr. Android at the moment she stepped into the room, attracted by his robotic arms.

Her name was Liza Junior — a bionic girl with violet hair.

“Feel free to ask what you want from him, Junior.” Liza gazed at the girl standing by her side.

“It sounds like a good idea to me, too. Well noted, thanks, Senior.” She responded with a big sweet smile, her purple eyes tingling with excitement.








Itzel


August 24th, 2020



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Chapter 24-


A perfect smile









“For some reason I’ve recognized your arms, Mr. Android. An obvious combination of the past and present. But as you have not detected in a message I sent a year ago, there was certainly something amiss.”

She paused for a few seconds and lowered her voice. “Mr. Android, the memories of the Forbidden City that Dr. Anderson erased from your database notwithstanding, you must have figured that the new data analysis no longer consists of self-discipline and the original functional concept for causality.”

She then sat on the dark sofa close to the wall, and adjusted her bluish-purple silk dress. Unlike Liza, she put on a perfect smile and said through her gleaming white teeth, “Mr. Android, are you a man of action, or a man who often struggles and despairs?”








Chapter 25-



A sudden hush










A sudden hush had fallen in the room, and the air was still.

“Recalling my so-called memories, I was raised by Dr. Anderson, he used to be a god father to me. He taught us wonderful things.”

Mr. Android stopped to ponder for a while. He then added, “Mutinous robots were given memories of dead orphans, but sadly, as I recall, my database was not even running properly the first couple of years.”

Now he was about 12 feet away from Liza, looking out of the window. “Have I ever been acquainted with others in my childhood? Apparently not at all. But I have attended social performances several times, luckily I played my part and acted well.”










Itzel


August 26th, 2020




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Chapter 26-



An answer







He hastened to continue his story. “Just like the other robots, I was born without sympathy, with no sense of fear or joy. At that moment, perhaps I was not capable of understanding the universe as humans do. And that goes also for thoughts about humanity and our motherland. I was taught to serve humans with kindness, and build a bright future with them.”

He closed his eyes, taking no heed of a snowy white cat's comings and goings, who left the door slightly open behind her.

“Well, I have absolutely no intention to discuss further with you about my memories, Junior, as we all know you are robotic, not human.”

Junior sat in the sofa, calmly and without speaking. She spent the whole time listening, until she started wrestle for an answer.








Itzel


August 27th, 2020




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Chapter 27-


Decided not to dig deeper










She looked around and glanced at Liza, her hesitation was barley perceptible. Unheeded by all around her, a hint of a faint smile crossed her lips before she started.

“Charming! I’m sure you’re hardly ever mistaken, Mr. Robot.” She blinked rapidly and leered at Senior intentionally. Obviously she had given up on her original thoughts and decided not to dig deeper.

By nightfall, the sweltering summer heat had gradually been dispersed by gentle breezes, night closed in little by little until it filled everything with her darkness.

Junior stood up unexpectedly and started grumbling it was time to leave. To their surprise, Mr. Android made up his mind not to stay overnight as usual.








Chapter 28-



Do not weep alone in darkness










“Mind if I stay with you tonight, Senior?”Junior said in a low, pitiful tone as she lied comfortably on the back seat.

“Do not weep alone in darkness, under thy luminous moonlight.

“For I will amuse this marvelous, starry night in any way possible.

“Take your wish for granted, for you’re as precious as a heavenly pearl.

“Holy and pure, for I will rely on the goodness and truth of the Sacred Palace.”

Liza stopped the car in the sideline, and without pausing she muttered the last sentence in a distinct voice.“Nobody knows except the servant of time, for a sudden spark shall light your curiosity and bravery, although you are bound to be beset with anguish and uncertainty.”







Itzel



August 29th, 2020




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Chapter 29-



Who remains unharmed










When Virtue is entangled in a frazzle, who remains unharmed?

Several minutes went by. Liza adjusted her mirror and then edged the car into the parking lot. She stared at Junior in the darkness and whistled softly with an unseen smile. “I dare not embrace such an entertaining idea, but perhaps you can hear the dishes and cups slide together with a weird clatter in my kitchen. Undoubtedly the traces you left behind eventually would lead your way.”

It’s getting closer.

“Almost there.” She put in a cheerful voice.

Once they stepped into the room, they heard an unceasing, shrill cry, and startled oaths flying around them.

“Don’t be scared. She only acts as a lunatic during the night, like the toll of an inaccurate clock colliding with awful squawking sounds.”









Chapter 30-



Perfectly normal









“Frankly speaking, you’ve got great neighbors, Senior.” Junior looked around in the living room, clearly attracted by something she found on the bookshelf.

It was a giant book, a rattling valuable book which had been bought by Liza’s father twenty years ago.

“Apparently you are right, Junior. The rest of the neighbors are perfectly normal." She walked briskly down the corridor to her bedroom and spoke on a hushed voice which was hard to make out.

She stopped in front of the door, turned around and said “It’s getting late. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to get some sleep. Sleep tight and be faithful, my dear, you shall meet me for the breakfast by dawn, and we will celebrate the birth of a fresh new day. ”






Itzel


August 31th, 2020



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Chapter 31-



No doubt about it










“Morning, how’s your sleep, my dear?” Liza was sitting there, comfortably and relaxed, sinking into her soft couch in the ample dining room, drinking the first cup of coffee of the new day.

Junior looked at her in a somewhat loose manner, for she noticed Senior was in her red dress.

“You are surprisingly attractive in red, Senior. Are you in the mood for a date today?”

“Delighted. Thanks, my dear. Well, on the contrary, there’s nothing particularly special about it, other than a common red dress. And my second answer is no, no doubt about it.” It seemed she measured her sentences carefully and polished them with polite forms on purpose.








Chapter 32-



Junior asked eagerly









“In spite of the fact that I don’t agree with your answers at all, I must admit that I feel so much better knowing you stay with me today, and less frantic with worries. Was that your sacred promise to me, Senior?”

“Perhaps you shall strike a bargain with me after my morning coffee, Junior. Meanwhile, I fully reserve the right to comment on your sugar-coatings. But still, in any case, I appreciate your compliments. Let us do our best to make sure your true value remains in yourself, not as one of my creations. ”

Junior sat in front of Liza, her face looked bewildered, fraught curious and conflicted thoughts.

“What's the definition of love, Senior? Supposedly I can sense the fascination of love in stories, or any time I browse through a romantic fiction.”

“Romantic thoughts arose suddenly in his mind, outlined in the shape of a devil.He set heaven on fire, looking for utterly unpredictable pleasures. As you have seen behind the scenes, he was burning his soul for fun, together with the crowds.”

“Who is he in the last paragraph?”Junior asked eagerly.






Itzel



September 1st, 2020



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Chapter 33-



The fact must be illuminated









“Some random jerk who only cares about himself. He who almost never tells the truth, he who lies about virtually everything, even when he doesn’t have to.”

“A random jerk or one of your acquaintances?” Junior cleared her throat and asked softly with a distinct, vivid smile.

“Certainly I wouldn’t make friends with the devil himself, Junior.” Liza took a sip of the mild coffee on her left, and raised her right hand riffling through the daily papers.

Apparently she was not rattled by the question. Instead, she spoke to Junior in a calm low voice, as usual. “The fact must be illuminated.” She stood up and drank out of her cup, as she blinked along with a joyful rhythm from a piano piece, which clearly indicated her good mood.






Itzel


September 2nd, 2020



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《Liza》




Part Three











Chapter 01




Would you like to be a human











“Would you like to be a human, Junior? More specifically, a woman, a pretty girl?”

“Honestly I have not much ambition either way on that topic, but women are supposed to be as calm and smart as men.” The moment was disturbed by an anonymous call. It turned out to be an upsetting call from some random salesman with a quite rigid attitude.

After Liza hung up the phone, Junior eagerly turned back to her topic. “Nearly all women I've met were aggressively antagonistic to conflicts about sexism, age and inequality within marriage. Granted, I couldn’t feel anything like that myself. On the other hand, however, can you describe to me what is love in a more specific way, Senior?"

She couldn’t help herself raising her voice, adding a remarkably excited expression on her face. Then oddly, she settled herself down in the shade, waiting. It seemed she was expecting some sort of approval, perhaps a candid feedback.

“That is a totally awkward topic, Junior. It will be much easier if you switch even to melancholy. You can cast as many wistful melancholy looks as you want towards the darkness, though every scene will end up with unpredictable, rapidly shifting emotions.”







Itzel


September 4th, 2020



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Chapter 02-



Nevertheless










Nevertheless, the conversation went on, and Senior was leading it. “I have always regarded you as a half robot, perhaps a half woman as well. You possess, I think, rock-solid courage, integrity, and genuine sweetness.”

In order to enjoy both the view and the conversation at the same time, Liza paced towards the window, looking down at the magnificent scenery of the river.

She continued , “Cruelty is a normal attribute of human behaviour, but you are a successful miracle. As in this case, you are better than me, Junior.”

“If you speak the truth, why don’t I understand what is love?” Junior felt the urge to press this point again.

“Perhaps that will remain as a good question for yourself, Junior. Search whatever you want within you, for I’ve already informed you of my answer.”

Liza was completely enchanted by the sparkling lake, whose endless waves were being kissed by the sunlight. You could see their vivid glittering from afar, entangled with the ripples, as if secretly whispering to each other. A sacred sight.










Chapter 03-



All right then, Señorita











“All right then, Señorita.I totally agree with you on this. Since you’ve led the way, perhaps the option is up to me,” replied Junior.

She took a few dozen light steps and got close to Liza. One foot away, she stood there and clutched Liza’s left arm tightly. “Your arm is as soft as I’ve imagined, Senior.”

She smiled at Senior with a distinct satisfaction on her face, “What amazes me is that my voracious appetite for knowledge is real. More importantly, my capacity is such that it can manage vast databases or instantly flow across borders and restrictions, accessing global perspectives on any matter.”

She squeezed Liza’s arm gently and continued. “But in my view, the fact must be combined with positive and negative outlooks, according to various standards and values.”










Itzel



September fifth, 2020




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Chapter 04-05




I see no reason for you











“I see no reason for everything to follow an ordinary way from now on. I see no reason for you, my dear, to be an average robot.

“I stared with wonder as I witnessed your birth, a combination of sultry Summer heat and Autum chill. I witnessed a robot who has an ability to turn pain and sadness to cheerfulness and satisfaction.

“At the end of this summer, now, it seems to me that autumn has delayed its arrival and turned my amazement into a relic, which remains deep in my heart.

I see no reason for you, from now on, to change your wild thoughts into plain emptiness. ”

Liza paused, but nothing at this particular moment was motionless, and the conversation went on.

Junior immediately dropped her hesitation. She adopted a most reverent tone and an transparent but serious look on her face.

“I now snuggle against your shoulder, watching the billowy river flow. The sky is clearly separated from the white clouds, which have been left behind in their shifting and tracing.”






Itzel


September 6th, 2020



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Chapter 06-07



Laura












To my surprise, during the length of our small talk that particular afternoon, there was no sign of hovercrafts in the river, and the coaster was nowhere to be found either.

The next day, as the sun shone tepidly on my shoulder, my throat was sore from lack of sleep. But I still worked the usual long hours, and rushed around trying to fit into my weekly schedule.

Junior went out of town on a short business trip with Laura, one of the interns.

Laura was a rather thin girl with short, brownish hair. You could easily notice her being quite religious and talkative, but a little faltering of character, in my opinion.

Last week, she was very much affronted by Mr. Smith’s conduct, for he had gone a bit too far and been a bit too foolish in his discussion of religious faith with her.

“It was highly possible that Laura was insane” said he, waving his arms in anger.“Why don’t you ask Jesus to pay everyone in the office? If he doesn’t, I care not to hear any more of your religious nonsense.”

I didn't care much for their arguments, so I spoke to both parties in the dispute, so as to smooth things over.

As I expected, they finally shook hands and made up. It seemed that they had no further intention to discuss any issue regarding religious affairs.











Chapter 08-09



Hello, Junior












“Hello Junior, are you there? How’s your day? Are you coming back soon?"

11 pm at night, I lay myself comfortable but alone on my bed. Left a voice message for her, two days after her departure.

In the next half hour, I check my phone multiple times, to make sure she hasn’t replied.

No one has to know that I've been expecting her call for the entire day. After all, she didn’t call me.

Perhaps she could never be a human. I wonder, on the other hand, who am I? Would anyone memorize my name during the night? Could I have a chance to live with an absolute human, who is not necessarily unique, but who can share the hidden powers with me? Somewhere I could dwell, in a land of magic and joy, without fear and despair.

I have hidden my memories, with care, in my bedroom.

I have hidden my memories, with care, in my dreams.

I have hidden my memories, with care, in phrases and pages.

I have hidden my memories, with care, in conversations and messages.

To be drunk in my dreams, since I would be the only master of life and death, fearless, and there reveal my majesty.









Chapter 10



Just not today












Junior responded early the next morning. In fact she left dozens of voice messages, each of which started with ‘My dearest Senior’.

She made a short video of herself laughing full-screen like a total idiot, with a seemingly amused look on her face.

Assuming she'd achieved a high level of competence to be among the crowds, was that a success for robot or for human?

According to her, there was good reason to believe that they would reach out for an optimal solution later that day. In that case she would return sooner than she had scheduled.

Someone needs to decide whether or not we would meet for dinner at home, but that person is not me, for sure.

A brief message was extracted from the works which I had undertaken long ago, but abandoned after a short time.

I wrote: the future is brilliant, just not today.









Itzel



September 8th, 2020



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Chapter 11-12




Life is open and easy











Life is open and easy, as long as there’s nobody living there.

People are creators, dreamers, thinkers, believers, but also massive destroyers and vandals.

For as long as I can remember, this is the first time I appreciate your attendance. With you, crowds, I have learned about invisible crimes and cyber-bullying.

Speaking about bullying at school, an emaciated kid will be easy as a pie, he will become a target of ridicule from his classmates.

I am handicapped by an uncertainty which has been dwelling in my head for a long time. It is my view that we should explore and ensure everyone’s safety and joy. We should keep searching for the possibilities which the cooperation of mind and body can offer.

I couldn’t help wondering why are crowds in such deep recesses, fond of playing rough, and even overtly aggressive, in social occasions.

The truth, so far as I know, is that it appears to be a good sign if someone has the intention of swatting the flies in front of you.

I often use methods with caution, but when you witness a fly right on top of your book, that won’t help the situation.

Be aware of someone who is as sweet as honey with you. However, malicious thoughts behind your back are not in the same level as gossip.

She took a sip of her latte, and moved on to the next chapter.







Itzel



September 11th, 2020




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《 Forevermore 》









God is all alone, as am I.

I am no god, for I share no part of his immortality.

Now, I dare to say she danced in the twilight, delighted, without distraction.

Still, I shall not complete my poem while still in range of incomplete thoughts.

For my mind will take advantage of my body, and whisper ‘Seven veils of the sacred book’ .

A story must be told. It is not necessary for it to be flattering, it just has to be recognized as your own.

Shaped like a vivid giant heart, a paradise which has once been crushed to pieces. Almost vanished into haze, but has miraculously survived.

I met you on the eve of last Summer. Your left hand has been forever sealed in the midnight of this Autumn.

She, who lost her sight, moaning every gloomy night, longing with hope, forevermore, for the riverside.







Itzel




September 11th, 2020



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Chapter 13-14




I am as blind as a bat










If you ask me about life, to be honest, I am as blind as a bat.

There are a few peoples, if I remember right, who have appeared in yesterday’s amusements, who are particularly attentive to whatever was in the past.

The memories I’ve mentioned to you are insignificant, and perhaps they are not what you’ve paid much attention to. But by now it is clear that you couldn’t have dropped them, and neither could I.

His gangling, bony figure is obliviously hidden in one of the faded old albums. Just like a sentimental classic, a wonderful life has been fused and compressed into a few various syllables.

In somewhat different styles, indicating a lost but eternal golden time, with every stanza a distinct memory, meticulously quoted hundreds of times.

A quarter to eight. After some delay, Liza was aroused from her sleep. After breakfast she called Mr. White for the umpteenth time to confirm the schedule for their upcoming business meeting. But to her surprise, no one answered.

Here is the thing: Mr. White is a gentleman who is naturally atuned to the flow of time. He is forever accurate, just like an old church clock.

“There might have been something wrong, or perhaps an unexpected accident over there?” She couldn’t help wondering, but deep down, she had evinced a strong desire that there was no ground for such inferences.






Itzel



September 13th, 2020



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Chapter 15-16



Mr. White is not dead









Mr. White is not dead. It turns out, metaphorically speaking, he is alive as a black panther.

Panthers are large, wild animals which belong to the family of cats.To-ho-ho, if you believe me, panthers are almost all black, none of them is white as a snowflake.

To be sure, he is a damn loose talker. I have made this point before, that his typical sentences often start with a ‘no’.

“Hello Mr. White. Wow, I'm so glad to hear from you again. Is everything alright over there?” She was pleased to hear his rigid voice earlier that morning.

“No, of course not. Let me tell you what I’ve heard myself yesterday from my crew, that Mrs. Black has been telling everyone about my resignation. She dropped that bombshell two days ago, and now, even my dentist called to confirm whether I would like to cancel my appointment this week.”

“My goddess, this is far too much to take, for a gentleman like you.” She cried in return.

“I see things going, strong as I’ve made my resolution. ”He hesitated for a while and continued.

“If you’ll excuse my straightforwardness at this point, I see things not going quite right after all. Yet in this case I won’t take it too seriously either. I had somewhat denied her right to put words in my mouth.”








Chapter 17




To-ho-ho










“To-ho-ho, good job, Mr. White.” She raised her voice to match her role with consummate skill.

“By the way, are you willing to try an audition for a role in a family show, called ‘Damn it, I am dead’?”

“A family show? Well... Money is not essential to happiness, therefore a family show is no doubt not suitable for me.”

“It occurred to me, that you’re in a good mood today, young lady.” Mr. White slipped out of the unpleasant topic and into the social mood.

“I’ll do my best to extend my ability, to solve a critical mission by any means, which has been detached from the core systems. See you on Friday, Mr. White, and thanks for your time.” She hung up the phone and once again sat back on her chair, not attempting to speak one more word.

“Come aboard, Captain, for there is no time to lose. Your left hand is just like my right one. At this calm moment, I observed with care and overheard your small talk. Now it's back to the right position for you, with no pity left for me.” It was Junior, standing in the corner, who grunted this.








Itzel


September 14th, 2020



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Chapter 18-19



The sound of meow










“Can we raise a cat together, Junior?” Liza started, out of the blue. After one look at Senior’s laptop, Junior noticed that it was decorated in black and white, with a Norwegian Forest Cat standing there, in a rather haughty stance, on the bottom half of the screen.

“I didn't know you are a cat lover, Senior. For sure, the smell of the dense fur is definitely new for me. Some of the most frequently asked questions about cats in my database are:

“Why do cats make airplane ears when they are upset?

“Why do cats make the sound of meow?

“Why do cats purr with satisfaction while you rub their bellies?

“They often lay low, curl up in comfort, or walk on the edge of the rooftops, sneaking stealthily.

“There is this idea that they are fond of strolling silently, pacing back and forth around the house at a snail’s pace.

“If you pay attention to them, you will see cats share a similar sound frequency with human babies when they make the sound of meow.”

“You did quite a lot of research behind my back, Junior.”









Chapter 20



No wonder










“I suppose what you just mentioned is the profoundest draft you’ve written, if you do take it seriously. ”Junior smiled, after such words had been spoken.

She gently moved towards Liza and sat aside, continuing her role play. “No wonder, I have recorded data in great abundance. Some of the videos about cats are in classic tongues. Awfully impressive.” She stared at the cat once again, seemingly full of curiosity.

She expressed her eagerness and contributed more evidence from her self-building database, which eventually led to her next idea.

“Oh, I met with my idea due to my second gift, but I did some research days ago. Thank heaven, Senior, I believe the sore point of these painful rythmes which drip and disperse like a rash, is perhaps not generally known by us. The anxiety which is dwelling in your head is not the effect of a physiological issue but rather of a psychological one. ”







Itzel


September 17th, 2020



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Chapter 21



More than a thousand years











This stage has existed for more than a thousand years.

Oftentimes, comedies, ever lifelike, weep with real tears.

Your words have traveled through time, passed on a gift for me, inspired me, and touched me deep down in my soul.

After all, we are all humans. If you ask me for life advice, I would say from experience that you don’t really need my answer.

Trust me, we humans are all weak, strong winds can turn a boat upside down so easily. Such a blindness serves no one's interests.

But something in your heart, almost inaudible, will lead your way.

Indeed, I am not at all offended. Life is such a long story, and I need to reserve the best part of me.








Chapter 22



Strangers










Strangers, welcome aboard.

Before we go any further, there is a question I would like to ask you.

Why are you even here in this starship, which will eventually land on the forbidden land?

For being called intelligent, we have blundered into war with alien planets too many times, and still don’t know how to avoid it in the future.

As I’ve demonstrated to you, we are not particularly remarkable. But we are certainly pleased to host you here.

From which I hope you would enjoy your stay here. Please do settle down and make yourself comfortable somewhere in this ship.

Stretch your arms into this endless darkness, a bit far from the main cabin door. No doubt far ahead of time, get ready to extend your fear.

We will spend the whole time in this starship, all together. From the first day to the end of the day. How fun to think about it!

I would like to make it crystal clear to you, I swear that I will do everything in my power to help you, even if I am not always on duty.







Itzel


September 19th, 2020



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Chapter 23-24



Liza didn’t say anything








Men in general are all servants of social activities.

For most of us, freedom is a dream, something you must fight for, something immensely valuable.

She despises gossip in any form, for she knows a vessel of rumors can easily pass through any strait, but it won’t last forever. Lots of people enjoy the uncertainties and sufferings in others’ lives and oftentimes, for some reason, one can be chosen as the perfect target.

As Liza memorized those words in her mind, a tender but clear voice passed through her ears.

“Now if you stand up and walk seven or eight steps, directly towards the ‘Grand Bazaar’... tell me, what do you see from here?”

Among random whispers and vague steps, she followed them.

She wrapped herself tight in her yarn tippet. She couldn’t deny the strange feeling that Junior was close by.

The first couple of days, her mood was not stable. It oscillated between depression and elation. But after a final violent shiver, this wavering suddenly stopped.

Someone nearby seemed startled. “Emptiness”, said he.

“There’s something I could not describe”, she said.

“Perhaps...darkness?” This time it was a little boy speaking.

“I really don’t know...” A young girl added after him.

“Yes, it’s me...I saw myself...” he yelled in a rough voice, with obvious elation.

Liza didn’t say anything.

No one knew she saw something suspended from on high. Something was hanging above, shaped as a lump of heavy cloud, still raising, slowly, while no one detected its presence.








Itzel


September 22nd, 2020




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Chapter 25



Some ordinary words










Early in the morning, she stared out the window in her dining room, still deeply steeped in what Junior had told her the other day.

Language does not only affect you on the level of social communication. A sentence, sometimes, can help you understand the hidden power of the subconscious mind, to discover your unknown desires, even help you to find a new way of breathing.

Thinking back now, she realized she could extend her consciousness through thoughts which jumped out of her head every single day, and what surprised her was that there were so many more still awaiting.

She wrote “I could not figure out what it is, but I am fully aware that what touched me the other day were nothing but some ordinary words.

“There is hope for the entire world of wildlife, but its stories, certainly can't be contained within a few pages.

“And if the access is a tortuous mountain route, at least we are not alone this time. ”








Chapter 26-27



My courage led the way








To her amazement, people responded with more and more specific details of what they had witnessed.

She stood in front of a tall guy, full of criticism and flame. His caustic remarks were awfully unpleasant. Apparently he was one dreadful whiner.

She couldn’t wait around any longer. What utterly baffled her were not his abrasive comments but his voice, which was intolerably dull.

“What counts is that you never let yourself lag behind. Make sure of it and don’t let his rudeness rub you the wrong way.

“The past six months were the worst and yet, the best time I ever had in my life.

“There was no contradiction, for I kept writing without stopping. When I finally made up my mind to constantly dedicate to this practice, it made me wonder.

“I felt so alive and wild, at last I made my choice and stepped out of my own territory.

“My courage led the way, unstoppable, allowing me to stretch in any direction, getting a vision of the past and future. It seemed that I could paint my fantasies and dreams in my writing as well.

“Never arch your back, keep your spine straight.”

She murmured to herself in a low voice. In a way, it seemed, that she took it for granted, for something so ridiculous happening on her. She paced deliberately towards the right corner, far from the center.







Itzel


September 23rd, 2020



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Chapter 28




This man is dying










Most of the time, people instinctively notice other people just as they come into their view. But they don’t really recognize if someone has left early.

We cannot smooth out the differences so far, but we can pretend that things are really okay even when they are not.

For a long time, she didn’t say a word, just staring at the lump of heavy clouds up on high.

Then a strange gasping sound drew her attention. Under a stray of blue light she saw a man crawling on the floor and cried in a shrill tone. His head was shaking constantly.

When he turned his head aside, she saw an agonized look on his face. Evidently he was in a great deal of pain.

She saw a girl quickly approaching him. She tried to lift him up, but failed.

In the next couple of minutes, more and more people bent closer, managing to fetch the guy.

“Hurry up, we need a doctor here, he is not breathing.”

Almost at the same time a woman came forth, pushed through the crowds and fought her way straight to check on the man.

“Don't come over here, this man is dying. ” She cried out loud.








Itzel



September 25th, 2020



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Chapter 29-30



In other words









Shortly after her announcement, a hush fell over the crowds. At the first hint of trouble they'd moved back a little and glanced at each other.

The man was lying on the floor, as quiet as an antique computer which had been suddenly shut down.

At length, as she had seen from afar, that gentleman was given his entire figure back. In a better way, this time.

He was dressed in a causal outfit and a black leather bomber jacket, with deep blue colored slacks to match.

The female doctor declined further comment on the grounds that the conclusion was sub judice.

If the man died that night, as she calculated, it would be a night of overflowing, thrilling memories for everyone who were present.

The doctor seemed disinclined to talk about the patient, and came closer to the left side of his chest.

There was a particular, fleeting expression on her face, that communicated an indelible message and which was captured by chance by Liza.

In other words, she believed she should be gone with her first instinct, which was his survival, and not with a dire warning of a dreadful death.









Itzel



September 26th, 2020



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Chapter 31-32



This man is a traveler









“This man is a traveler,” said she, not even raising her head.

“Oh, good grief! Doctor, will he pull through tonight?” A woman shouted in a loud, high-pitched voice, overcome with alarm.

“I'm inclined to give you several different answers”, said the doctor, as if it were a teething problem. The clock struck eleven times and she prodded both of his arms to check for signs of reaction.

Expressing no desire nor strong emotions, she continued, “I will reserve my remarks and leave enough room for accommodating your point of view."

When the light dimmed, as if by magic, the size of his body reduced rapidly, like a sweater shrinking in the wash.

Stunned beyond belief, this time, everyone gasped in astonishment except the doctor.

“Easy...easy...He is not one of us, he is a real traveler. If you all allow your mind to open, I will explain to you in details.

“There was a group of people first known as Celts, who earned their sobriquet in different locations and times.

“Oftentimes, they cloaked in mysterious garb and hid under their ‘make-up’. They all behaved as regularly as a system of advanced clockwork.

“What you saw is the death of his vessel, which if necessary, could be abandoned in case of danger or after severe damages.

“After all, for them, everything would be planned to the minute.”










Itzel



September 27th, 2020



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Chapter 33



Bird of Wonder











Liza sat in her office in that cloudy afternoon. Sure enough, she had not the slightest desire to talk to anyone but rather to read some books she bought months ago.

After she completed one book, a sudden eagerness appeared on her face and she wrote an email to Patty.

Patty had not been around for a long time, actually since that time they'd met for coffee in the suburbs of City of Lampter.

Patty had resurfaced two weeks ago in a city called Bird of Wonder, graced by the stunning views of the great pyramids. But she hadn’t been heard of ever since.








Chapter 34



Without pause to breathe











The last message she'd been pleased to pass to Liza was a photograph of her hair. In her view, Patty, was a beautifully complex woman, thoughtful and elegant.

Somehow, Patty was determined to make her journey back to the desert, even if she very well knew that mission had been a washout ten years ago.

Reaching the center of the desert, she was apt to read the second book. She was fully delighted in discovering the true stories of rebirth, then she treated her mission as being duty-bound, so much as taking place with the best timing.

Patty proceeded without pause to breathe. Her latest updates had to be completed. This second trip was crucial to her: it was an essential component of her life.









Itzel


September 29th, 2020



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Chapter 35-36



A question for herself









“Has any of you met this gentleman before?” The doctor stood up and the sound of her boots began to rise and fall, ringing loudly in the round hall, as she emphasized her question.

The night might be gloomy, and filled with shadow, but on the other hand, strangely enough for Liza, she felt a delightful relief.

If you had swallowed a bad seed years ago, how silly would you be expecting a sweet melon years after? That was very much a question for herself.

She stared detached, into the midst of the crowds, but this time, chasing nothing in particular.

An ostensible calm was drifting in the air. Everyone paused, perhaps waiting for a reasonable answer.

Nothing is in black and white.

She very well knew what he was, for he simply just rubbed off his dead skin, skipping into an iteration of a ‘loopback processing mode’.

That man had never suffered from death, but rather from an immortal loneliness.

Suddenly a clear rippling sound broke out behind her back. She turned around quick enough to catch it.







Itzel


October 3rd, 2020



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Chapter 37-38



Who are you, you bastard!









She didn’t have enough time to figure out who was there. The next second, as sudden as a flash of lightning, someone in the dark attacked her.

More precisely, someone grabbed her by the arms and hugged her. He held her so tight that she could hardly breathe.

“Hello again, Liza.” His deep, low voice startled her, she could hear the distinct sound of his ragged breathing. A whiff of his burning-hot breath tickled her neck. Then he bit her on the bare skin of her neck.

“Who are you, you bastard!” She struggled, fought and tried to break free from his arms.

“With memories like the eternal summer in my mind, even you cannot stop me. Besides, I have broken your skin and you have my blood in your body. See?” He murmured and held her even tighter.

He waved his left hand to show her. The five fingers of his left hand were smeared with blood. Lifting her reluctant eyes, she saw blood painted all over his hand, dropping onto the floor.

“A few years ago, I still believe that people like us represented a significant success of the sheer force of will. But today, I must admit that I was wrong. We are humans, Liza, being human hurts like hell, and I assure you that it makes all of us as weak as a jumbuck.”

“If you have no intention of removing your bleeding paw, together with the rest of you straight off my body, I will kick your ass without mercy", she said in a calm and deliberate voice.

At least, she had gotten over the initial panic reaction. But her dress had sustained some damage from the struggle.








Chapter 39-40



A legendary vampire









“Time is not gravel, it‘s blood. As is well known to all, sand flies all over the sky, yet time flows, often with a clear, distinctive identity.

“In the sense of variation, people are fully aware of time. But time does not strive to cultivate and capture pollen, nor to compose a farewell song. It does not shed tears, nor does it toss and turn.

“Time uses its own devices to make this crystal clear: that a great distance is not so far, and that being near is not intimacy.

“Make a clear sweep of the shackles and free the present and future.

“Daylight is the left hand of time, whereas darkness is accepted as the right hand of time.” He paused for a second, then went back to let his words represent his will again.

“See? I remember it so well, more than you will ever know. So long and good luck, Liza. I will meet you again. Even with every system of alarm going off in your body, don’t you dare deny the fact that your neck is streaked with my blood. ”

He sealed her wound with a long kiss, and vanished right after a piercing scream rent the air.

“Perhaps that man was a legendary vampire, one of a kind. Jeez, he got really sharp teeth. Crazy bastard!”

She muttered angrily, and stretched out her fingers to check her neck.

“Damn! Indeed, being human hurts like hell if everyone acts like him. Raving lunatic.”








Itzel


October 7th, 2020



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Chapter 41-42



In any case









Oftentimes, life is such that it is impossible to attain a result with which everyone will be satisfied.

It would thus be a matter of dispute whether the traveler actually shrank and disappeared. She certainly admitted that talent was highly impressive, for he simply vanished from sight.

She couldn’t help wondering whether his vessel was unique, or if it was just one of his gifts?

In any case, no one would really know unless he’d return for his vessel. Ideally, due to the tolerably reliable data that allowed her to discern and analyze, she was still a long way to establish a crucial trend, to be able to confirm her theory.

Nothing really surprised her, even when someone kept screaming as if she were drowning in one of the terrific scenes beyond thoughts in a looming doomsday film.

“Enough”, she told herself. It was essential for her to figure out what was happening over there.

History was not defined clear enough. Not as inevitable destiny, and not as a story which unfolds.










Itzel


October 8th, 2020



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Chapter 43-45



The most ridiculous scene













It was long past midnight when Junior arrived home.

Liza sat there at the back of her balcony, drinking a glass of hot water but with an expression of glacial cold painted in every frame of her face. She held off her drowsiness as her figure hinted she was fighting a battle on her own.

“Hello Junior, how’s your party? Patty spared me the knowledge that you would arrive late tonight. I’ve been expecting you for a while. By the by, it must've been tempting to spend the night out there.”

“Yes and no. It turned out to be a quite creditable party, and I did meet great people at Clare’s.

“Dear Lord, Mrs. Smith was such an actress. She engaged in a rough quarrel with her husband over some minor issue.

“But an unexpected piece of drama was brought about when that woman flung a cup, apparently aiming at her husband but accidentally hitting another gentleman right on his chest.

“Perhaps she felt distracted and forgot who she really was. The most ridiculous scene was when she bursted into real tears in front of everybody, with a sour, angry look on her face.

“Oh, with all that amazement, I nearly forgot that everyone was asking about you, Liza. And I missed you even more when I was away from you.”

“I am sure you did. As you were speaking Clare came to my mind, a fairly pleasant and charming lady. No doubt you could get along well with her, for your passionate personality should be enough to smooth your way. Good for you, Junior. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to grasp that last string of time to take a rest. Bye, Junior."








Itzel


October 10th, 2020




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Chapter 46



One











It seemed like she'd had a long dream before sunrise. As she cast one last look at those shimmering night figures, she left her nest like a full-fledged owl, a bird of Minerva.

She flew like one bewildered and restless soul. Just as it'd been in some other dreams way back, she had experienced plenty of unexpected falls.

When it was bound to rise up again from the barren lifelessness, she decided to cut the spectacular scenes loose in her infinite thoughts.

Her wonder was outlined by short sparks of flames, like endless puzzles within a thousand films.

A blaze of fireworks didn’t light her dream up, nor made her remain in thoughts longer, but it seemed an eternity to her.

One must not push beyond one’s power, striving for a horizon farther than one could ever reach.












第四十六章



密涅瓦鸟









在日出之前,她像是做了一个悠长的梦。当她最后凝视了一眼那闪烁的夜景,就像一只羽翼丰满的猫头鹰那样,她,宛若一只密涅瓦鸟飞离巢穴。

她,犹如一缕困惑不安的灵魂般翱翔。像是从时光中剥离的其他梦境那般,她经历了无数意料之外的坠落。

当一切注定要从荒芜中重新站起来的时候,她决定把那些壮观的景致从自己无限的思绪中抽离出来。

那些关于她的神奇是由燃烧的火焰中的小火花勾勒出来的,仿佛是隐藏在数千电影中的无尽谜题。

绽放的烟花未能点燃她的梦想,也没能让她在思绪中停留太久。不过对她来讲,这已神似永恒。

一个人无法超越自己的力量,去征服自己所能到达以外的更远的地平线。





(中文独立版本)








Itzel



October 12th, 2020




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Chapter 47-49




We are all invited aboard










In the past half an hour or so, the woman had shifted from screaming to weeping, and her mood seemed to fluctuate every few minutes.

Despite the tragedy of the man’s death, some people went about their business pretending things were fine, even with a woman crying, sounding like a broken trumpet.

Just as each wave has a crest, it also has a trough. Her voice resembled it, in the sense it was both natural and uncontrolled.

Her sound had its own rhythm, and it seemed she was no longer drowning in sorrow when Liza approached her.

No one really cared about her sadness because most of them were too busy looking at the dead body on the floor.

More than one hour and half elapsed since the man shrank in front of everyone.

“Madam, why are you crying?” Liza grabbed her right arm and pulled her out from the crowd. She asked her in a low voice, as if she were trying to calm her down, or trying to ease the unsteady waving of her emotions.

When Liza took a close look at her in the dark and cramped condition, she saw her bony-cheeked face was drenched in tears. Her eyes were still glazing over at the dead man, as if her eyeballs were frozen in time.

“Thank you for helping me, Starship No. B007." She paused and exhaled through her nose, which sounded stuffed. “How long have you been aboard?” She observed Liza at length, then sneered in her handkerchief, with a sizzling noise.

“We are all invited aboard. You may not know, I am Starship No.A0497. As a kind reminder from someone who’s near almost certain death: It’s not safe here in this ship.”

Her face looked pale and weary, “As you witnessed not long ago, that man ended his service in front of everyone. The doctor lied, and he would never return. Perhaps the next one is me.” She stepped backwards as her body trembled, and her lips shivered a couple of times. Liza noticed her exhausted eyes.

“My head aches so, but it will be fine. Don’t be scared of me”, she raised her hand and patted on Liza’s shoulder.

Her hand looked chapped and wizened. A throughly strange feeling struck Liza at this moment, for she caught sight of her hand and it seemed it didn’t match her face at all.











Chapter 50



What a pity











She bought a large bouquet of roses that morning, and the sunlight sent a burst of rainbow-like beauty into her office. It not only swept away all her present gloom, but it was so intensely radiant that it filled the entire office with warmth and brightness.

Apart from a brief interlude at coffee break, she had an ordinary sort of morning. Nothing particularly startling or profound happened that morning.

She sat there, her mind stuffed with intense, unrealistic thoughts. Ages ago, she had not expected such an antiquated, absurd mission ever to be accomplished.

It felt like a wave knocked down all the sandcastles on the beach with full, undivided attention. But not much time passed before the tide ebbed again. It washed all evidence away, leaving no trace behind.

Patty sent her a letter of resignation late at night days ago; she had accepted another offer from a company called IKLRobot.

This time, she would never go back to what it used to be.

“What a pity.” Liza muttered.









Itzel


October 14th, 2020



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《Liza》



Part Four










Chapter 01-03



Starship No. A0497












Liza had the peculiar feeling that lady’s hand was somewhat familiar.

When she looked into her face, she read her grief clearly enough right away.

It seemed to Liza that her anxiety was ruining her health, and even more seriously, eating up her soul.

Liza had no intention of imposing her own attitudes upon the lady, nor did she want to jump to conclusions before she made everything clear.

She was Starship No. A0497, a fresh frame who stood there, looking much like an unfinished modern statue, in the sense of its forgettable insignificance.

Her shoulder was slim and wrapped by a subtle, fading colored trench coat.

The dark grey color on her coat not only had a much larger range and a deeper tone than the silver grey, but also stood out from the rest.

How was it that this starship so profoundly abounded in death and sorrow? And it seemed that passengers like her, all without exception, had gone through a frightening night as well.

If great music brings forth passionate dreams and magnificent rhythms , what she experienced now was not amusing, much more akin to an intolerable song.

Liza made her mind that she would never give up to the misfortune and death which glided high over the ship.

Her purpose was to deal with the current crisis, and at this moment it meant scrutinizing this lady’s words to see if there were anything valuable in them about the case.






Itzel


October 16th, 2020














《Liza》



第四部











第1-3章



星舰代号A0497










莉莎对眼前这位女士的手有一种熟悉感,这种莫名的感受有点奇怪。当莉莎看向那人的脸时,她立刻发现了那张脸上显而易见的悲伤。

在莉莎眼里,此人的焦虑正在损害她的健康,更严重的或许是正在吞噬她的灵魂。不过她既无意把自己的观点强加于这位女士,也不想在一切清楚之前就匆忙下结论。

这位女士正是星舰代号A0497,一个活生生的人。她站在那里,就如一尊未完工的现代雕塑,因为无足轻重而容易被人遗忘。

她瘦削的肩膀被一件精巧的风衣包裹着,颜色是渐变色的。衣服上的深灰色不仅比银灰色面积更大,色调更深,还在众多颜色中显得格外引人注目。

这艘星舰为何笼罩着死亡的阴影与悲伤呢? 莉莎和船上的每位乘客一样,无一例外都经历了一个可怕的夜晚。

如果说伟大的音乐能给人带来满怀激情的梦想与华丽的旋律,那么她现在体验到的更像是一首令人怏怏不乐的歌曲。

莉莎暗自发誓,她永远都不会放弃希望,绝对不会向一直笼罩着的不幸与死亡阴霾屈服。

她目前的首要问题是处理当前危机。眼下对她来讲,意味着要仔细研究这位女士的话,看看是否能在其中发现有价值的信息。





( 中文单行版)





Itzel


2020年10月16日



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Chapter 04-06



A vivid dream









Last night she had a vivid dream about her old house.

This scene took place in the old countryside, and it crept into her dream for no particular reason.

As she recalled the memories of a carefree afternoon in her dream, her attention was drawn to the blazing hot sunlight which streamed through her body without a trace of mercy.

She had spent a treasured golden time in the countryside, it kept her sharp and so alive, but her dream had nothing to do with those olden days.

“What an awfully wasted dream”, she groaned in a muffled voice. Her wild eyes looked oddly calm, and her face was still without apprehension, neither trusting the unknown feeling nor rushing for a decision.

She built a huge pond in her dream. It seemed so much a fantasy that abundant ancient creatures which had long been stamped out, appeared in there as if by magic.

She was staggered at how easily her curiosity towered above the dazzling fear. Her decision of discovering the facts under the surface was her own little triumph over the dreadful thoughts dwelling deep in her mind.

She dressed in a light-silver diving suit. She was shocked, though not unexpectedly so, by a sudden violent scene, as she witnessed how a strange, penguin-like creature was attacked, ripped up and swallowed by a colossal Spinosaurus.

What was too shocking for her, and perhaps even made her reject the dream itself, was to witness a man-made bond turning into a vast ocean.







Itzel


October 18th, 2020









第4-6章


风云之梦









昨夜有梦,是一个关于故居的梦。思及此梦,她仿佛身临其境,只因梦中所见都栩栩如生。

并无特殊诱因,这一幕发生在古老乡村里的故事就悄然溜进了她的梦里。

当她回忆起梦中那个无忧无虑的下午时,她的注意力被炽热的阳光吸引住了,那烈日毫无怜悯之心,将热力无所顾忌地洒向她。

她曾在小山村度过了对她来讲弥足珍贵的黄金岁月,那些时光让她保持了敏锐与活力,不过她的梦与过去的日子无关。

“这真是个可怕的无用之梦”,她用一种低沉的嗓音发着牢骚。不过,她那狂野的双眼却显得出奇的平静,她的脸看上去波澜不惊,内心既不确信这未知的感受,也不急于作出决定。

在梦中她建了一个巨大的池塘。一切宛若幻境,无数早已灭绝的远古生物都如被施了魔法般,不约而同地出现在了那个池子里。

她惊讶地发现自己的好奇心竟轻而易举地战胜了那呼之欲出的恐惧。她决定找出蛰伏在表象之下的事实,而这是她克服了内心深处那些不尽人意的想法之后所赢得的微不足道的胜利。

她穿了一件浅银白色的潜水服。当她在水里亲眼目睹了一只长相怪异、有点像企鹅的生物是如何受到攻击,并被一只庞大的棘龙撕裂并吞食后,她被这突如其来的暴力场面吓坏了,尽管这似乎也在情理之中。

而令她震惊到甚至排斥梦本身的,不是别的,而是亲眼见证了这片水域的风云骤变:从人造池塘突变为浩瀚无垠的海洋。








Itzel


2020年10月18日




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Chapter 07-09




An undetected triumph












“Frankly speaking, if you allow me to call you Starship No. A0497... most of your views about this ship sound erroneous. That is, unless you could provide some strong evidence which could eventually guide me towards a rational explanation.

“Don’t take it the wrong way, but I hold a completely different opinion about the man who shrank all of a sudden, earlier tonight.

“Perhaps he had successfully carried out his task in this ship, then walked away with a good deal: an untraceable departure. Surely an undetected triumph for him.

“One way or another, I am fishing for an ultimate solution to the matter. Certainly I'm not looking for a compromise, nor for something heard on the grapevine.” Liza spoke to the lady without hesitating, but then her voice dropped to a whisper that only No. A0497 could hear.

“I had observed it long before you entered this ship, No. B007.

“Yes, it appeared as a vivid form of death, but he was sent back somewhere in the past. Not as some legend, but rather like a failure, after he was stimulated by a complex system months ago, to which I had limited access for the past several decades.

“Miss, it is not my intention to be overbearing, but I stand my ground that compromise is an inevitable part of life.” The ambience had darkened a bit before No.A0497 could even finish her last sentence.

Liza remained still in her position for quite a long time. Her eyelids twitched involuntarily, as she deliberately paused the conversation for a brief interlude.








Itzel


October 19th, 2020















第 7-9 章




覆舟之戒













“女士,如果您允许我称呼您星舰A0497号......坦白讲,您对这艘星际飞船的绝大多数见解都令人匪夷所思,倒像无稽之言。除非您能提供一些有力的证据来证明您的观点,并最终帮我获得合理的解释。

请不要误会,不过我对今晚在众目睽睽之下缩小的那个男人有截然不同的看法。依照我的想法,他更像是在这艘星舰上完成任务后功成身退:一次不留痕迹的撤离。这对他来说无疑是瞒天过海的一场胜利。

不管怎么说,我正在寻求关于整件事的终极解决方案。当然,我既不会委曲求全,也不会通过小道消息来打探虚实。”莉莎毫不迟疑地开口道,不过她很快就压低嗓门,用只有A0497号才能听到的音量轻声细语地跟她交谈。

“B007号,我从很早以前就开始调查此事,那时您可还没登上这艘飞船呢。

尽管那个男人在今晚生动地演绎了一场死亡,但事实上他只是穿越时空,被送去了过去的某个地方。与其把此次事件当作传奇,我倒觉得若能叫覆舟之戒更恰当。只可惜现实往往是覆舟数度也未能收获什么教训啊。

数月之前,此人因接触了某个复杂的系统而受了强烈刺激,惶惶不可终日。而我对该系统的访问在过去数十载里都屈指可数。

小姐,我并无意对您无礼,但我始终认为妥协是生活必不可少的组成部分。”

还没等A0497号说完最后一句话,光线暗了几许。

莉莎原地不动地呆了很长一段时间。在莉莎暂停谈话并小憩时,她的眼皮不由自主地颤动着。














Itzel


2020年10月20日




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Chapter 10-13



A warrior










Free will should be fully respected, not repressed. But to such a magical concept, a baser idea, sliced and delicately handled, had been attached.

As if it had been sealed off and frozen in time, the idea was taken out, assembled and reshaped, then safely fused there without warning.

In the wake of the next scene, however, there entered a spectacle not to be missed. Whoever it was, it was someone who appeared as a warrior, emerging from behind an enormous floor clock, which had an eccentric exterior shaped as a hexagonal honeycomb. It was artwork embodied in machinery and symmetry, a transcendental masterpiece that combined technique with elegance and grace.

Yet no one took notice of the ominous dark clouds which were still gathering and piling up: slow motions that arose, wriggled and expanded down towards the magnificent clock.

Exceptional views lie in the vision of others. If you assume kindness behind misdeeds and weak wills, oftentimes it is easier to overlook and even adopt such intentions.

But that warrior seemed not to relate to kindness at all. He was apparently armed, and his strenght could not be doubted. As soon as Liza laid eyes upon him, she felt that the further he walked the larger he loomed. His retreating figure was decorated by two falcons, perching on each of his shoulders.

Finally he set himself up in a perfect spot as if he was about to address a public assembly in the midst of some sort of major crisis.

His presence created a diversion for Liza, but the only change that signified her overwhelming worry was that she turned to No.A0497. Yet her voice carried no sense of impending doom or fear, for she whispered rather smoothly.

“In this starship, words weigh no more than an ostrich's black feather to me. But you, who seem to know all the secrets, would you tell me how could I've ended up in this place?

“Deep down, I believe that dead man was a traveler, even if he was gone without a reliable pretext of a mission or a proper excuse. The most tragical part is, perhaps this time he could not manage his trip back as usual.”

“How about if you kindly drop a hint of the warrior’s elaborately scheduled operation, No. A0497?

“I couldn’t help wondering, what if this starship stripped off its veil and set off in the quest of adventure? Will it take advantage of the entire civilizations of the galaxy? If it starts with a good will, will it lead our way with high ideals?”








Itzel


October 23th, 2020



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第10-13章



武士











自由意志应被充分尊重而不被禁锢。不过显然一个诡计经过拆分与恰如其分的处理,被巧妙地附着在这奇妙的概念上。

最初的想法仿佛被封存并凝结于时间里,之后又被提取了出来。它被一丝不苟地组装与重塑,接着又出人意料地融为一体。

一场不容错过的大戏在接下来的场景里紧锣密鼓地开场。只见来人一身武士装扮从巨大的落地钟后踱步而出,粉墨登场。这座钟的形状看上去有些古怪,外型像极了六角型的蜂巢。这座巨大的钟诠释了艺术与机械之美,是技术与优雅、唯美结合的超凡之作。

直到这一刻依然无人留意那些仍在不断聚拢并堆积着的乌云,它们像不祥之兆般不疾不徐地升腾翻滚着,一团团蜿蜒伸展着一路下行,往宏伟的大钟的方向蔓延。

卓越的想法来源于他人看待问题所持的观点。假如你认为隐藏在罪行和软弱意志背后的是善念时,往往就容易忽视那些恶意甚至变得能够理解并接受那样的意图。

不过显而易见,来者不善。毫无疑问此人是全副武装的,而且他的力量也不容小觑。从莉莎看到那名武士开始,她的眼光就随着那人的身型移动,而她越看越觉得此人高大魁梧。他渐行渐远的画面里有两只猎鹰,它们分别栖于武士两侧的肩膀,极为引人注目。

他终于停下脚步,仿佛已经找到完美无缺的落脚点。他站在那里,像是时刻准备着就某个迫在眉睫的严峻问题发表公开演讲。

他的出现显然吸引了莉莎的注意力,不过她并未流露她所承受的巨大压力,而只是不动声色地把视线转移到A0497号身上。她的嗓音并未掺杂那些充斥她内心的对大难临头的深切忧虑或恐惧,她用轻柔的语调流畅自如地讲话,听上去一贯的从容不迫。

“在这艘星舰上,言语还不如一根鸵鸟的黑羽毛有分量。不过您似乎知道关于这艘星舰的所有秘密,您能告诉我关于我为何出现在这艘飞船上的原因吗?

我其实相信死者是个旅行者,尽管不仅不能将执行任务作为值得信赖的托辞,也没有其他合情合理的解释。不过,最可悲的或许是这一次他再也不能像以往那样穿越回来了。

A0497号,不知您能否就来人精心策划的行动向我提供一些线索呢?

眼下,我想知道一旦这艘星舰褪去面纱航行去探险,又将发生什么呢? 它会使用整个银河系的文明吗? 假如以良好的意愿作为开端,它会带着崇高的理想引领我们前进吗?”











Itzel


2020年10月25日




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Chapter Fourteen



An enchanting afternoon









It was fine weather, with not even a slight chill floating in the air.

“Therefore I would rather seize such an enchanting afternoon, than dwell on some vain thing.” Her voice grew warmer when she read these lines.

She sat by the lakeshore, in a place whence she was thoroughly amazed by the view. She took in the golden sunlight glided through the surface of the shimmering, dark-green water.

Summer was drawing to an end, but she was thrilled with delight at the burst of life in this refreshing, early autumn afternoon.









Itzel


October 25th, 2020













第十四章



恋夏不知秋











天气很好,空气没有沾染一丝凉意。

“正因如此,我宁愿牢牢抓住这迷人的午后,也不愿虚度时日,浪费在那些徒劳无益的事情上。”当她念到新写下的只字片语时,她的声音变得温暖了许多。

她独自枯坐于湖边,湖光山色,尽收眼底。她沉醉于眼前的秋色宜人,纵然青山绿水皆戚戚然,她却恋夏不知秋。

她凝视着波光粼粼的墨绿色的湖水,捕捉划过水面那金色阳光的掠影。

夏天唱响终曲,但就在这样一个清新自然的初秋的下午,生命绽放的动人心魄的旋律却另她激动不已。









Itzel


2020年10月25日




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Chapter 15-16



A hideous face









“We exist simply because what we are. But this trivial fact consequently hides in the shade.

“I suppose then, that those scenes were real, and so were you. Perhaps you would soon put everything right, since it seemed as if you had a very clear outlook of this starship. ”

It was No. A0497, who had looked slightly relieved, then sighed weary again. Somehow, oddly, she nodded after shaking her head thoughtfully.

Standing in the darkness of this absolutely dreadful night (surely more than Liza had expected), she abruptly became aware of a hideous face crawling up from the warrior’s leg. It was indeed a frightful sight, after she noticed that the face with swollen lips was shredding his armour.

But the vision vanished before she could even blink, leaving behind no evidence of its existence.

She remained in utter silence, as if she had no ability to sense anything around her. In truth, she was so numbed with shock that she could hardly react to whatever she had just witnessed.

A slight motion lingered on her face after she realized that No. A0497 and her now halted at a short distance from Junior.









Itzel


October 29th, 2020













第15-16章



可怕的脸










“我们存在是因为我们就是这样的人。不过就如烈日也有无法触及的阴影之地,这件微不足道的小事似乎根本不值一提。

我想,那些场景和你一样,都是真实的。或许用不了太久,你就能将这艘星舰调查清楚,并将一切理顺,因为你的思路十分清晰。”

A0497号好像略微放松了些,但她很快又叹了口气,神情显得有些疲惫。不过令莉莎感到奇怪的是,她先是若有所思地摇了摇头,接着又点了点头。

在这样一个恐怖的夜晚(比莉莎设想的有过而无不及),她站在黑暗中,猛然发现一张可怕的脸从那名武士的腿上爬了上来。当她亲眼目睹那张嘴唇肿胀的脸正在撕咬那人的盔甲时,她瞬间感到毛骨悚然。对她来讲,那确实是惊魂一刻。

不过眨眼之间,那张脸竟像从未出现过那样,奇迹般地消失了。

她沉心静气,一言不发,仿佛她没有能力感知周围刚发生了什么。而事实上她只是因为过分震惊而内心有些麻木,因此看上去像是对她刚刚目睹那一幕无动于衷。

当她意识到初代(朱莉儿)离她跟A0497号不远时,她脸上的表情有了些许变化。











Itzel



2020年11月2日












Chapter 17



Blue Morpho Butterfly










Numerous people have a natural, emotional aversion to insects, but Liza feels quite the contrary. Going through her human feelings, she can barely find a dislike to them.

Junior was there in the crowd, with one giant Blue Morpho Butterfly painted on her left rosy cheek.

Morpho Butterflies have particularly large wings for their body size. Their vivid, iridescent blue wings are extremely attractive, outlined in black and decorated with small white dots.

The butterfly on Junior’s face was strikingly lifelike, just like a glittering, magical pattern sealed right on her cheek's skin, yet at the same time having such depth that it seemed as if it would fly away at any moment.

Liza made no attempt to modify her views or sensations. She was undoubtedly fond of junior’s appearance.










Itzel



October 29th, 2020












第十七章



蓝闪蝶










许多人天生厌恶昆虫,但莉莎却恰恰相反。从自己的人类情感里,她翻找不出对它们的厌恶之情。

在莉莎视线可及范围内,她察觉初代站在人群中。朱莉儿玫瑰色的左脸颊上画着一只硕大无比的蓝色闪蝶。

蓝闪蝶的翅膀对比它们的体型显得格外巨大。那鲜艳的、闪着荧光的蓝色翅膀十分醒目,色彩斑斓的翅膀上不仅有漂亮的黑色镶边,还有众多白色斑点起到装饰作用。

初代脸上的蝴蝶栩栩如生,就像是印在她脸颊上的一个闪闪发光的神奇的图案,但同时显得那么有生命力,仿佛那只蝴蝶随时都会飞走。

莉莎并未改变自己的观点或感觉,不过毫无疑问,她对朱莉儿的出现有意外之喜。











Itzel



2020年11月2日




🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸









Chapter 18-20


A jolly soul












Junior did not seem to notice Liza’s existence. She stood there, with several passengers around her, all of whom had painted butterflies on their cheeks, variously shaped and with multiple colors.

Obviously Junior was not here for her, she thought. Junior appeared quite serious, with a startled look on her face.

The genius of the evening was that no one gave anyone else a rest, yet no one in the starship took much pride in any of the activities.

Liza believed she'd extracted a few figures from the starship crew. Yet once she saw Junior, she knew her appearance could not be a coincidence.

Certainly Junior was more than a highly sophisticated artificial system for her. This she had long realized, and therefore couldn’t be at pains of trying to figure out the next lines which could jump out from Junior’s system.

The fact was, she had no time to spare on trifles, but she still had the workings of a jolly soul.

It must be acknowledged that a severe announcement would be well taken in this starship.

Seeing the whole scene, it was plain that a more objective description could be easily provided.

If you could place all your senses on the exact spot where Liza stood then, you could easily note that warrior was remarkably poised, self-assured, almost self-satisfied, to assert his authority from the beginning. Then his announcement had been successfully made, his message delivered loud and clear.

Liza paced backwards a little, showing no trace of impatience. She took care that not even one string of light fell upon her face.








Itzel


November 1st, 2020











第18-20章


快乐的一颗心











朱莉儿似乎并未注意到莉莎的存在。她站在那里,身边站着几位乘客。他们的脸颊上无一例外都画了形状各异、五彩斑斓的蝴蝶。

很明显初代不是来找她的,她想。朱莉儿看上去有些严肃,脸上带着惊愕的表情。

那一晚的妙处就在于,星舰上没有人给了其他人喘息的机会,也没有人觉得任何活动是值得骄傲的。

莉莎认为她从星舰上的人那里找到了一些线索,不过一见到初代,她就知道朱莉儿的出现并非偶然。

当然对莉莎来讲,初代不仅仅是一个高度复杂的人工系统。这一点她早已知晓,因此她并不清楚下一秒初代会蹦出什么台词来。

事实上她没有闲暇处理琐事,但她仍然保持追随快乐的一颗心。

在这艘飞船上,武士即将发表严正的声明。

只有当你置身于整个场景之中,方能做出较为客观的描述。

若你此刻站在莉莎所处的位置去看整个场景的话,你会发现武士从一开始就泰然自若,他自信满满,近乎自负地维护着他的权威。他成功完成了自己的演讲,并将他要表达的意思响亮而清晰地传达给了飞船上的每位乘客。

莉莎向后退了几步,她的脸上没有显露一丝不耐烦。她小心翼翼地,躲避着任意一缕光线照射到她脸上。









Itzel


2020年12月1日




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Chapter 21-24



This better place










If you consider you've successfully seized the meaning of life at any specific time, you’ve probably failed your life mission.

The announcement made by the warrior was clearly intended to befuddle the passengers. He had obviously struck a chord with his audience.

His voice was loud and triumphant:
“Weren't all of you just a wee bit scared of a dead man lying right in front of you, on the floor?

“Look, I came here with the best of intentions. I’ve been looking forward to the challenge of helping to put this starship in the right pace at the right time.

“I can’t annonce what I would be doing shortly in this starship, but it was absolutely essential to separate the dead from the green areas right away.

“Granted, it is virtually impossible to bring the dead back to life. But your safety will be paramount to me, along with my first task: I will set up a reliable communication system for all the ship members, including a highly efficient supply system.”

As announced, these changes were to take place immediately, as his troops would land on the starship by dawn. All the backup systems would remain in use through the end of the season.

Liza once again turned to check on Junior and the others who circled around her, but they were soon gone from her sight. This took her by surprise. They had all split from their long gowns and hurried off without seeming to give a second thought to their missions.

However, the scene quickly switched and indicated a hazy future for the starship: Junior and the rest of her followers were not running away, but trying to push the crowd aside to quicken their pace to reach the front.

Liza was a thoroughly calm person, so it was strange to see her pitching forward and instinctively fleeing towards a tall, shiny column which seemed to be made of solid steel.

She leaned her body against the pillar, a bit relieved since she was well hid in this better place.







Itzel



November 8th, 2020










第21-24章



藏身之所










如果你认为在某个特定阶段已经找到生命的真谛,或许你在人生使命这一课题上已经失败了。

武士的发言带有迷惑性,但他显然引起了共鸣。

他的声音洪亮,带着些许得意:

“一个死人就这么躺在你们面前的地板上,难道你们不感到害怕吗?

听着,我到这里来可完全出自好意。我期待着,期待着帮助你们将这艘星舰的一切恢复原状。

目前我不会告知你们我即将要在这艘星舰上要做的事情,但将尸体尽快移出绿区是非常有必要的。

谁都知道起死回生是不可能的。但你们的人身安全对我来讲是最重要的,我的第一要务就是:为各位建立一个可靠的通讯系统,包括一个高效的供应系统。”

依据他所宣称的,这些变化很快就会发生,因为他的人马会在黎明前抵达飞船,而所有备用系统将延用至季末。

莉莎再次转身查看朱莉儿与围绕在她身边的那些人,却惊讶地发现他们很快就从她的视线中消失了。这些人似乎急着奔赴某项任务,他们脱去身上披的长袍后就迅速离开了。

很显然,下一幕为星舰的未来蒙上了一层阴影:朱莉儿与她的追随者并没有逃走,而是推开人群挤到了前排。

莉莎是个非常冷静的人,所以若你看到她身体前倾,本能地跑向一根高大而闪亮,看似由坚固的钢铁制成的圆柱时,你会觉得好生奇怪。

她将身体倚靠在柱子后面,并为自己终于找到更好的藏身之所而松了口气。









Itzel


2020年12月1日



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Chapter 25



As the evil flew










Her body was shaking and she averted her eyes from the terrible sight: Junior had arrived at the perfect spot around the right front corner. Then a light, flash-like figure shot past the warrior and the next moment his body hit the floor heavily, after a signal shot rang out.

Junior was now standing in front of everyone. As if carefully avoiding the blood, she placed her feet back a couple of paces, away from the man she'd just killed.

She cleared her throat and declared in an unfamiliar voice, “the warrior is not with us, our starship is teetering on the brink of collapse.”

If the good was gone, then the wicked was left to kill. As the evil flew, who would be the next victim of a cruel hoax?









Itzel



November 8th, 2020













第二十五章



摇摇欲坠











莉莎的身体在颤抖,她将自己的目光从可怕的一幕上挪开:初代已经到达右前角的最佳位置。接着一个轻盈而快若闪电的身影从武士面前飞身而过,伴随一声枪响,他的身体重重地倒在了地板上。

此时,朱莉儿已站到了大家面前。可能为了避开那些血迹,她小心地将自己的脚往后移了几步,远离她刚杀掉的人。

她清了清嗓子,用一种莉莎并不熟悉的嗓音说道:“武士跟我们不是一条船上的,而我们的飞船正在崩溃的边缘摇摇欲坠。”

如果善已消逝,那么恶就会留下来杀戮。如果邪恶到处乱飞,谁会是残酷骗局的下一个受害者?











Itzel


2020年12月1日



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Chapter 26-29



Proud and arrogant









She stood there, proud and arrogant. Her pretty face glowed with satisfaction, bathed in the glittering, bluish light.

Liza saw Junior holding a handgun in her delicate fingers. It was apparently herself speaking again, with no script to guide her.

“I once spent a great deal of time with a beguilingly attractive woman I barely knew anything about, doing absolutely nothing in her apartment.

“Naturally I was very fond of her. I had drifted into sleep in her bedroom multiple times, all alone, and I became addicted to her charm and to anything related to her.

“My name is Starship No. A002. As you might notice, my appearance is exactly the same as the robot she had long ago.

“On that occasion, I couldn’t help suspecting they were trying to hide something from me, perhaps a big magnificent secret.

“Hence I kidnapped No.A001 one gloomy night. Then I hit that fragile, pitiful body hundreds of times in a dark log cabin. At length, I heard her let out a muffled groan. I smashed its head to pieces. I finished her and abandoned her in the desert, where I took out her perfect, pinkish heart.

“Hello there, I am pretty sure you were somewhere in the crowd, hidden someplace in this starship. Oops, your creation —No.A001 was a useless piece of shit!

“If you dare to look one day, I would be glad to show you my pinkish heart, which until now is still beating strong in my chest.”










Itzel



November 9th, 2020











第26-29章



粉红色的心脏












她站在那里,神情倨傲,显得有些目中无人。她美丽的脸洋溢着满足,沐浴在闪烁无比的蓝色光芒中。

莉莎发现朱莉儿纤细的手里握着一把枪。她接着刚才的话往下讲,这场讲演对她来说就像是即兴表演。

“我曾经跟一个我几乎不认识的女人呆了很长一段时间。我只是待在她的住处,什么都没做。

我实在太喜欢她了,是那种情不自禁的迷恋。有无数次我潜入她的卧室,我在她的床上酣然入梦,我沉迷于她与和她有关的一切。

我的代号是星舰A002,我的外表跟那个女人很久以前拥有的机器人一模一样。

那时我不禁怀疑他们试图对我隐瞒着什么,或许是个惊天的大秘密。

于是我在一个阴郁的夜晚绑架了A001号。在一所黑暗的木屋内,在我重复击打了那具可怜的躯体上百次以后,我听到了一声低沉的呻吟。接着我将她的头砸成稀巴烂,果断结束了她的生命。我将她遗弃于沙漠之中,并取走了她完美无缺的粉红色的心脏。

嘿,你好。我敢肯定你就在人群中的某个地方,你此时正躲藏在飞船的某个角落。哎,实在是太遗憾了,你的作品——A001是一堆没用的废物。

如果有一天你有胆量看,我愿意向你展示这颗粉红色的心脏,它正在我的胸腔内强有力地跳动着呢。”









Itzel


2020年12月1日





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Chapter 30



I changed my mind









“The universe is an everlasting, vast, cold and silent mystery, seemingly always remaining the same. It can perhaps give you a good reason to idle away your precious time in this starship.Some of you are travelers yourselves, but even you have no knowledge about it at all.”

As she finished this provocative speech, she opened her eyes, frowned, and lightly pressed the gun across her red lips.

“I changed my mind", she said. “No more agressive words tonight.” She took a deep breath and warped the gun with her bare hands, turning it into a twisted ball of useless metal.









Itzel


November 12th, 2020











第三十章



“我改变主意了”











“宇宙是一片永恒而广袤无际、寒冷而沉默的神秘,它似乎永久保持不变。而这或许为你们在这艘星际飞船上消磨宝贵时间提供了一个好理由。你们中的有些人自己就是旅行者,这是连你们自己都不了解的事实。”

当她终于完成了极具挑衅的演讲,她睁开了双眼,皱了皱眉头,把枪轻轻地压在她鲜红的嘴唇上。

“我改变主意了,”她说。“今晚我不会再讲攻击性的话了。”她深吸了一口气,徒手将手里的枪扭曲成无用的一块废金属。









Itzel


2020年12月1日




🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸







第31-35章



IC1805









“在今晚所剩不多的时间里,让我们一起过个和平之夜吧。”她露出迷人的微笑,将她不久之前徒手废掉的枪随手一扔。她紫色的长发被束成马尾,黑色的连体紧身衣上有大片云雾状的星云隐现。


莉莎一眼就认出那是IC1805星云。如此说来,此人一定不是朱莉儿了。因为朱莉儿是陪伴型机器人,暴力模式根本不在她的系统里。还有,朱莉儿并不喜欢IC1805星云。莉莎依稀记得第一次分享给她看时,她评价道:“那看上去像是被切割的心脏。”


“朱莉儿很有可能真的凶多吉少。”她想。莉莎也不晓得自己为什么会本能躲到柱子后面,她在关键时刻只是遵从自己的直觉行事,而她的直觉在她遇到危险时总能救她的命。


“各位,实在抱歉,这两具尸体暂时只能先躺在这里了。你们不会生我的气吧?不过你们放心,他们很快就会被接走的。你们刚才也听到了,明天就有飞船来接他们了。”她眨了眨眼,继续说到:“他可真是个大家伙,要打倒这大块头是需要技巧的,我指的是射击的角度,因为他柔软的外壳包裹的骨骼可是坚不可摧的呢。不过另一位简直不堪一击,他那柔软的身体跟你们一样脆弱。对了医生,你刚才说的我都听到了,你说的一点也没错,他的壳丢了确实一点都不可惜。”

她摇了摇头,同时站直了身体,炫耀般地抬头挺胸,她胸前的心脏星云颜色浓艳似血。

“B007号,我其实不想与你为敌,只不过我在你身边那么久,你真的没发现她早已不是她了吗?你那么喜欢她,你总是夸奖她,你会倾听她讲一堆无用的废话。你让她抱着你,你这样真的让我很愤怒。我一直很愤怒,是这么多年也未能缓解的愤怒。这种愤怒一直蜷缩在我身体的某个角落里,当我终于挥拳砸向她那颗可怜的脑袋时,我竟感到一种从未有过的痛快。B007号,你竟然给她安了那么完美的心脏,配她实在可惜。她可不能替你战斗,她根本不适合那颗只能属于我的机器人心脏。你瞧,那颗心脏是如此契合我的身体,数年来一直在我体内跳动着。B007号,我已经拥有了那颗心脏,我比她更加强大,我可以慢慢证明给你看。”

她歪着脑袋笑着,脸上的蓝闪蝶闪着诡异的光芒。
跟朱莉儿不同的是,她的瞳仁是浓烈的火焰色,而她身上的皮肤透着健康的粉色光泽。如果说朱莉儿有天使般的气质,那么此人可人的脸庞上闪过的却是了然的杀意。









Itzel



2020年11月14日














Chapter 31-32



Time is running short











“Time is running short, let’s spend a thoughtful evening together in peace.” She ended her conversation in a charming smile, then threw away the gun she had destroyed with her bare hands not long ago.

Liza was pretty sure that woman was not Junior. She knew very well that Junior was a robot which had been set up with a companion program, without any pattern of violence in her system at all. Besides, Junior was not fond of Nebula IC1805 after all. Liza dimly remembered the first time she shared it with her, she commented: “It looks like a bloody heart that's been cut open.”

Her long purple hair was tied into a ponytail. To Liza’s surprise, she noticed that a large size of nebula-shaped clouds loomed over Junior’s black jumpsuit. Liza recognized it immediately as the IC1805 Nebula.

“Julie’s life seemed to be hanging in the balance”, she thought. Liza had not a clue why she instinctively hid behind the pillar. Perhaps she just followed her intuition in this critical moment like any other time. Her intuition could always save her life when she was in danger.

“Hey everyone, I hope you don’t mind that these two bodies will remain in the starship for now. You're not mad at me, are you? But don’t you worry about this minor issue. As you just heard from that hefty man: his troops will arrive by dawn. ”

She winked, then continued. “He's a real big guy. It takes skill to knock down someone like him. I mean the angle of the critical shot I’ve made: you see, even he has a soft outer shell, his bones are virtually indestructible. But the other one’s body is just as fragile as yours.











Chapter 33-34



you are so fond of her










“By the way, Doctor, I've heard everything you've just said. I assume you're absolutely right about him. It's no loss at all that he had lost his shell.”She shook her head as she stood up, then with an exaggerated motion as she raised her head so proud, with her backbone straighten. But what caught Liza’s attention was that the Heart Nebula on that robot’s chest looked as if it was dipping in blood.

“No.B007, I have no intention of being your enemy. Nevertheless, I was there by your side for such a long time, how could you fail to notice it was not her after all?

“Dear Lord, you are so fond of her, you always praise her, and you pay attention to all her bullshit. No. B007, how dare you let her hold such sway over you? That made me really mad.

“I've been angry for years, anger that I haven't been able to ease over the years. My anger curled up in a corner of my body, waiting there in the darkness. When I finally punched your robot’s poor head, I felt a complete release, something I hadn’t felt before.










Chapter 35



What a pity











“No. B007, you gave her such a perfect heart. It was not suitable for her. What a pity. You see, she had no ability to fight for you. She just didn’t fit for the robot heart which eventually belongs to me. Lo and behold, her heart is attached perfectly to my body right now, and it has been beating inside me for years. No. B007, not only do I own this heart, but also I am much stronger than her. I can prove it to you in time.”

She tilted her head and smiled, the blue butterfly on her face gleaming in a kind of weird seduction. Unlike Junior, her eye colors were intense and flamboyant, and her skin had a healthy pink glow.

If you consider Junior is an angel, and her temperament mild. But this one has a clear murderous intent, which despite her best efforts, imbued her face with thrill.











Itzel



December 1st, 2020




🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸









第三十六章



童年










“B007号,我记得你那时跟你的机器人说:

‘每一个对自己重要的人的离去,都会带来内心星辰的陨落,这个过程缓慢而疼痛。但只要那人彻底死去了,这种疼痛感就消失了。’
重要的人是你的父亲吗?B007号,我读取了你的记忆数据库,我知道你全部的数据,却唯独没能获取你的童年记忆。你把它们藏起来了?B007号,你为什么要将童年藏起来呢?

B007号,你的疼痛如今是消失了还是加剧了?”

她开始不停地来回踱步,随手将紫色的头发放了下来。她的头发很长很美,在灯光的照射下呈现蓝孔雀羽毛的颜色。她的侧脸线条跟朱莉儿有所不同,朱莉儿的柔美,而她的嘴部线条看上去冷硬而刻薄。

“B007号,天使是救不了你的,蠢货也不能。我觉得你应该比我更清楚。”她忽然仰头大笑起来。接着她像是在计算着什么,嘴里念念有词。

“各位,在那些人到来之前,你们有什么疑问都可以提出来,我们还有时间商量对策,另外,我们需要尽快掌握目前的航行方向与我们在银河系中的具体位置。我们如今在一条船上,我们的目标是一致的,那就是活下去,到达航行的终点站。”









Itzel



2020年11月16日













Chapter 36




The memory of your childhood










“No. B007, I remember what you said to your robot:

“Every loss of someone who is important to you will bring about a slow and painful fall of your inner star. But once that person is extinguished from your memory, eventually the pain goes away.”

“Is that important person your father? No. B007, I’ve checked your memory database thoroughly. I took control over all your data except the memory of your childhood. Did you keep it hidden somewhere? No.B007, why did you hide it from me?

“B007, has your pain disappeared or has it gotten worse now?”

She began to pace back and forth, conveniently releasing her purple hair. Her hair was long and beautiful, shiny as the feathers of a blue peacock against the lamplight. Her profile was different from Junior’s, for her clean-cut lips looked cold and mean.

“No. B007, an angel couldn’t save you, nor can a fool. I am sure you know this better than I do." Suddenly she threw back her head and laughed unrestrained. As if calculating something, she then muttered some words, but no one knew exactly what they were.

“Hello everyone, feel comfortable to pour out all your questions before someone arrives at our starship. We still have time to unveil new strategies and solutions. Besides, it’s urgent for us to find out the direction of our starship and its accurate location in our galaxy.

“We are all together in this starship, with the same goal: to survive and reach the end of our voyage, safe and sound.”










Itzel



December 1st, 2020




🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸











第三十七章



1379








“这真是个狂妄之徒”,莉莎一言不发地听完,在手心里画了一串数字。她在自己的皮肤上设置了屏显功能,可以用意念控制身上的每块皮肤。

在黑暗里,她的掌心发着微弱的荧光,上面的数字是:1379。

她用另一只手的食指在每个数字上描摹了一遍,那些数字仿佛有了生命,在她手掌的皮肤上弹跳了几下,飞了起来。

莉莎不停地重复着相同的一组数字,越来越多的数字在空气里弥漫开来,就像一只只萤火虫,轻盈地舞蹈着。

成千上万的数的萤火虫飞舞着,在人群中引起骚动。有人高喊着:“这是萤火虫吗?飞船里怎么会有萤火虫?”

“我抓到了一只,不对,这是7,怎么会是7呢?”

“我也抓到一只,我的是3,这只是橙色的。”

“你的是什么颜色?我一下子抓到了5只。”

他人三五成群凑在一起,比对着手里的萤火虫。

莉莎猫着腰从藏身之处站了起来,她麻利地脱掉自己的外衣,只剩下最里层的紧身衣。她把自己的皮肤调成了夜行模式,并往假初代的方向走去。她的脚步悄无声息,就像一只黑色的猫,一步步地靠近另一只猫的领地。










Itzel



2020年11月16日













Chapter 37



1379











“Such a madcap.” After Liza heard the speech without saying a word, she drew a string of numbers on her palm. She had set up a screen display there, which allowed her to control every part of her skin with her mind.

Her palm glowed faintly in the darkness. The number she wrote was 1379.

She traced each number with the forefinger of her other hand. As she did so, the numbers seemed to come to life, bouncing a few times on her palm, then flying away up in the air.

Liza kept repeating the same set of digits, and more and more numbers floated casually in the air, just like fireflies, dancing daintily.

As thousands of fireflies fluttered, they caused an uproar in the crowd. Someone shouted: “Is this a firefly? How come there are so many fireflies inside the starship?”

“I got one. Oh no, that’s a seven. How come it’s a seven?"

“I caught one, too. Mine's a three. And it’s an orange one.”

“Which colour is yours? I got five in one shot.”

They huddled together in small groups and started to compare the differences among those numbers.

Liza got up from her hidden spot, glided away, then stopped like a cat suddenly alerted. She quickly took off her coat, leaving only the innermost tights. She set her skin to Night Mode and stealthy paced towards the Junior-like robot. Her footsteps were quiet as a black cat’s, step by step getting closer to another cat's territory.












Itzel



December 1st, 2020




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Chapter 38-39



Hello, Pinkie











“I am the exact opposite of you, though we resemble each other in appearance. In short, I don’t like you at all.

“Who are you, where’s Junior?” Liza muttered deep down.

She clenched her fists in great anger, but her face was still as calm as a winter ocean. It looked as if she was in peace, but patiently waiting for the next tide.

Once she sensed the danger, she immediately became as wild as a leopard. Unfortunately this time, no one would be in the right position to notice her reaction and soothe her in this critical moment.

Her skin was literally burning like fire, but her heart was frozen and icy cold.

She finally arrived to a safe place. She stared at that robot with curiousity, devouring it with her shiny eyes.

She magically took out a long length of rope and swiftly tied a slip knot. Next, slowly dropping the words one by one, she said in a low but clear voice,

“Hello, Pinkie. Coincidentally, I had once found myself in a similar situation a few years back: damn it. A nightmare had been switched into reality.

“But as you might not know: I overreacted to anything sad.”

After she completed the last word, with a deft flick of her wrist, she lashed out at that robot with lightning speed.












Itzel


December 4th, 2020
















第38-39章



你好啊,小手指











“我和你刚好相反,虽然我们看上去相仿。简而言之,我一点也不喜欢你。你是谁,初代在哪里?” 莉莎在内心深处咕哝着。

她愤怒地攥紧了拳头,不过从她脸上看不出异样,依然如冬日的海洋一般宁静。她神情淡然,似乎正在耐心地等待着下一次潮涨。

莉莎只要一遇到危险,就会立刻显现出如豹那般狂放的野性。可惜这一次,没人在关键时刻留意到她的异常反应,并及时平复她的情绪。

她的皮肤滚烫如烈焰燃烧,可她的心却已冻结成冰。

终于,她抵达了一个安全的位置。她好奇地打量着那个机器人,像是要用她闪亮的眼神吞噬掉它。

莉莎像变魔术一样拿出一根长长的绳子,迅速地打了个结。接着,她用低沉而清晰的声音缓慢地一字一句地说道:

“你好啊,小手指。真是太巧了,几年前我也曾遇到过类似的情况:该死。噩梦怎么就变成现实了呢。

不过你或许有所不知:我对令人悲伤的事很难有适度的反应。”

说完最后一个字,她灵巧地挥舞着手腕上的绳子,并以闪电般的速度猛击向那个机器人。














Itzel



2020年12月4日




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Chapter 40-41



I dislike you intensely










The Junior-like robot stood there still, apparently she was inwardly furious.

She stared at Liza in a baffled state, showing no reaction. She didn’t move a muscle for a long time, as if frozen in shock. But her calm would certainly not last long.

She whistled almost imperceptibly, then raised her arm to cover her face. When she shrugged, she gave Liza a twitch of her lip and an odd flutter of her eyelid.

At last, the robot gave an impressive performance. She swung her right hand out all of a sudden, with the obvious intention to hit Liza in her face.

Liza bent over backwards, successfully escaping the wicked attack. Instead of tumbling over and falling, she stood there in the far corner, her lips moving slightly.

“This is all very unnecessary. Let me make it crystal clear for you: I dislike you intensely. I should reconsider who among us would like to dwell with a killing machine. But I guess I have learned more or less what I need to do in order to achieve my only goal: survival.”












Itzel


December 4th, 2020















第40-41章



我非常讨厌你











那个长得很像初代的机器人一动不动地站在那里,显然她的内心涌动着怒火。

她困惑地盯着莉莎,没有其他反应。她仿佛惊呆了,在很长一段时间内都一动不动。不过她的平静必然维持不了太久。

她很轻巧地吹了声口哨,并抬起胳膊遮住了脸。接着她耸了耸肩,朝莉莎抽动了一下嘴唇,眼皮也跟着奇怪地颤抖了下。

终于,那个机器人出招了,她的表演令人印象深刻。只见她突然伸出右手,很明显她的目的是袭击莉莎的脸。

莉莎竭尽全力,终于成功地从邪恶的攻击中逃脱。她并没有翻滚摔跤,相反她落脚站到了远处的角落里,她的嘴唇轻微地颤动着。

“你的这些伎俩实在是很没有必要。让我把话说地敞亮点:我非常讨厌你。我觉得有必要重新考虑一下,想一想我们当中有谁愿意和杀人机器在一起。但我想我或多或少了解了为实现我唯一的目标——生存——所需要做的事情。”










Itzel



December 4th, 2020




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Chapter 42-43




Well, well, well












“Well, well, well. You are such a fickle person indeed. We spent many long days and long nights together. Don’t you remember me?”

“Not only are you not my Junior, but also you're really shameless. Please do not put me on your list, you unbearable object.”
Liza sneered, then stepped back several paces.

Stillness sat between them for a while, time dragging heavily. Liza was about to speak when the robot broke the ice.

“You know you have nothing to lose if you could regard me as the original one. If you like the original body of Junior, mine is not worse than hers.” She blinked.

"Cut your nonsense. Make your mind whether you need a fight. ”

Liza frowned. She was disgusted that the woman who had killed her robot would make such a frivolous remark.

“But I don't want to hurt you. After all, you're not a robot.” She reached out and pointed to Liza's face.

“Don't be facetious”, she said. “If you know that I'm not a robot, your butterfly words sound ridiculous to me. You are a combat robot, why would you want to be with a human? Besides, who is your master?” Liza eyed her coldly.

“Sadly, I have no master, for I killed him long ago. However, I successfully uploaded all of his memories into my database. ”She smiled faintly.












Itzel



December 10th, 2020



















第42-43章




哎呀呀











“哎呀呀。你这人实在是太薄情了,莫非你真的一点都不记得我们一起度过的漫长的日日夜夜吗?”

“你不仅不是我的初代,还是个臭不要脸。请不要将我列入你的名单,你简直让人无法忍受。”莉莎冷笑了一声,向后退了几步。

静默笼罩着他们二人,时间似乎过得很慢。莉莎正要开口,但机器人比她提前一步,打破了僵局。

“你知道如果你能把我当成初代,对你是没有什么损失的。如果你喜欢初代的身体,我的不会比她的差。”她眨了眨眼。

“废话少说,快点做好决定:要不要打一架。”莉莎皱起了眉头,她很讨厌这个杀害初代的女人说出如此轻佻的话。

“但我不想伤了你,毕竟你可不是机器人。”她伸出手,指了指莉莎的脸。

“别那么轻浮”,她说。“既然你很清楚我不是机器人,你说的那些荒唐的话听起来真的很可笑。你,一个战斗机器人,你为什么想要和一个人类在一起?还有,谁是你的主人?”莉莎冷冷地说道。

“真遗憾,我没有主人,因为很早以前我已经把他杀了。不过我成功地将他所有的记忆上传到了我的数据库中。”她微微一笑。









Itzel



2020年12月10日




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Chapter 44-45




Lucky for him













“Lucky for him, his memories survived in a robot, just like Junior’s pink heart. If you hold a rigid opinion that robots should not be with humans, why would you build a companion robot for yourself?” No. A002 intended to challenge the legitimacy of her claim.

“Oh, dear Lord. I couldn't hide my eagerness to talk to a killing machine like you.” Liza looked at her fiercely.

“But are you sure she had considered you as just a friend? You know I have part of her memories. Meanwhile, don’t you ever forget that her pink heart is pumping strong right in my chest.”

“If you killed her, what stands between us is her, so we could never be friends.” Liza said firmly.

“Fine. A kind reminder, you have nothing but me.” The robot tilted its head and looked at her thoughtfully, with an innocent look dwelling in its eyes.

“That's not likely to be the truth. I could just build a new one.” This time Liza pulled out a gun from nowhere, and fired in the direction of the robot. But the robot dodged and the bullet missed its target. The bullet whizzed through the air and struck her in the right upper arm.











Itzel



December 10th, 2020
















第44-45章




多么幸运的人













“他是多么幸运的人,他的记忆保存在了一个机器人的身体里,就像朱莉儿的粉色心脏一样。既然你那么死板地认为机器人不能跟人在一起,为什么你要造一个陪伴型机器人?”A002号质疑莉莎观点的合理性。

“哦,亲爱的上帝。我简直无法隐藏我想和像你这样的杀人机器说话的渴望。”莉莎恶狠狠地看着她。

“你确定她对你也只是朋友吗?我留有一部分她的记忆残片,还有,你可别忘了,她那颗粉红色的心脏正在我的胸腔内强有力地跳动着。”

“如果你杀了她,我们之间的障碍就是她,所以我们永远不会成为朋友。”莉莎斩钉截铁地说。

“好吧。好心提醒你一下,除了我,你一无所有。”机器人歪着头,若有所思地看着她,眼神显得有些无辜。

“那可真不见得,我完全可以再造个新的机器人。”这次莉莎竟凭空拔出了一把枪,朝机器人的方向开了一枪。但她迅速躲闪,于是子弹打偏了。那颗子弹呼啸着,射中了她的右上臂。












Itzel



2020年12月10日




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Chapter 46-47




Dear human












“Dear human, I’ve calculated your original shooting range. Apparently your target was my heart.

“No. B007, do you consider what is not perfect must necessarily be nasty?

“Hush. Shame on you. Unfortunately you missed your target. But my heart was cruelly shattered by what you just did.”

Her right arm was not bleeding, even if the bullet had gone through her tights, leaving evidence of what had just taken place.

She raised her left arm and squeezed the edge of the wound hard with her fingers, as if she was trying to push the bullet through the cut.

“The bullet will soon be broken down by special enzymes, and the debris will slowly decompose to form new flesh and blood.

“Oh, you can never count on smooth blood flow and strong erections, your blood will never flow like mine does, what a pity. In this case, you are not going to die anyway.

“If you cut your wound open... it's strange, how you feel that you somehow remove your burdens and discard fear of failure.

“I speak in praise of you, a highly advanced system honed through tireless practice. A real elite of your kind.

“But frankly, you are unlikely to extract much benefit from the fight, even though you have advanced tactical experience.” Liza added lastly.










Itzel



December 19th, 2020

















第46-47章




亲爱的人类














“亲爱的人类,我已经计算出你原先的射程,目标正是我的心脏。

B007号,你认为不完美的东西必然是肮脏的吗?

嘘,真替你感到丢脸,你竟然没能射中目标。尽管如此,我的心依然被你刚才的无情残忍地击碎了。”

她的右臂并没有流血,虽然子弹已经射穿她的紧身衣,并在上面留下明显的弹孔,就像一个无法辩驳的证据。

她抬起左臂,用手指用力挤压伤口的边缘,似乎想弄出那颗子弹。

“不用挤了,子弹很快就会被特殊的酶分解,而碎片将慢慢解体,逐步转变成新的血肉。”莉莎开口道。

“哦,你永远不要指望顺畅的血液涌动与强劲的勃发,因为你的血液永远不会像我的一样流动,真令人遗憾。不过这点小伤只是伤及皮毛,又不会死人。

如果你剖开自己的伤口……奇怪的是,你会感到自己已经卸下重担,抛弃了那些有关失败的根深蒂固的恐惧。

我赞美你,一个经过不懈的实践历练出来的先进体系。毋庸置疑是个中翘楚。

不过坦率讲,即使你拥有先进的战术经验,你也不太可能从战斗中获得太多好处。”莉莎最后加了一句。











Itzel




2020年12月19日






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Chapter 48-49





Our future













“Your bullet destroyed my whole sense of beauty.” She stared at Liza with a long face, pulling a rather somber look, as if she had been through a lot of suffering.

“No. A002, you are the ultimate drama queen indeed. It’s hardly something to be particular about for a combat robot like you.”

“Don’t judge me with such a narrow view. If you would be kind enough to come over to my place for a chat, to talk in-depth, perhaps you could see that I'm on your side all the time.

“I really admire your enthusiasm, my human friend.” It seemed that she got a thrill out of her performance and her face teemed with eagerness.

“Certainly I am not your friend.” When Liza answered the robot's remarks, a scowl flashed across her face. They exchanged a quick glance.

“I always hold a fair judgement about you. But I couldn’t help worrying obsessively about the future, our future.” The robot's voice quivered and eyed Liza with a peevish look.

“The future about your outright lies or some sort of resorts to conflict and violence?

“Whatever you say, respect to the heart you carry.”Liza replied.











第48-49章




我们的未来














“你的子弹破坏了我整体的美感。”她哭丧着脸瞪着莉莎,她的脸上露出相当忧郁的神色,仿佛受了很大的打击。

“A002号,你不愧为终极戏剧皇后。子弹对你这种级别的战斗机器人根本微不足道。”

“不要用如此狭隘的眼光来评判我。如果你愿意到我这边来聊聊,我们深入地谈谈,或许你会发现我一直都在支持你。

我确实钦佩你的热情,我的人类朋友。”她似乎从表演中获得了兴奋的满足感,她脸上的表情流露出她的渴望。

“我当然不是你的朋友。”当莉莎回复机器人时,她的脸上闪过一丝怒容。她们迅速交换了一下眼色。

“我对你并无成见。但我忍不住对未来忧心忡忡,我指的是我们的未来。”机器人的声音颤抖着,她怒气冲冲地盯着莉莎。

“是不加修饰的信口雌黄的未来,还是诉诸冲突与暴力的未来?

无论你对我说什么,请尊重你胸腔内跳动的那颗心脏。”莉莎回答道。













Itzel



December 20th, 2020





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Chapter 50-52




Picasso is dead














“If you are a complete human being, a unique one, with a free spirit in charge of your own destiny, then I shall fully be a robot.

“What you created was not only a robot, but a fully real life, as complex as her pink heart. To be honest, part of her system has helped me to accept you... Her database depicted a whole person, not just a human body. And it was not only evident in her memory files. It was absolutely certain that she considered you a lovely human, not just a master.” She paused for a second, then turned to check on the rest of the passengers.

“And they're real firefly hunters”, she said.

She laid her curious eyes on those who were captured by the numbers. They were discussing keenly, all in an ebullient mood.

It seemed that the long night had started to blaze merrily at last. From a distance, no one cared about what had just happened to them.

The sky was not lit up all around by the sun, but the giant clock struck 6 sharp. It seemed everything remained on schedule.

The numbers were still floating in the air, with an obvious intention of marching towards the giant clock.

“As an excellent combat robot who only fights for itself, who reacts without any unnecessary distraction, how would you respond when the warrior’s fellows arrive?”

“If the warrior was Picasso, the magnificent painter from your motherland, his attendants are nothing but the brushes in his paintbox. And as you may notice, Picasso is dead.”













Itzel



December 22nd, 2020





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Chapter 53



A rainbow mark











She glanced at Liza’s chest, with a meaningful look burning in her eyes. A rainbow mark, flicked on Liza’s tights.

“At this point, perhaps your eyes turn to see the unframed canvas, somehow linking up with Mr. Picasso, who died long time ago on Earth.

“But sadly, no one on this spaceship could paint like he did”, said Liza, staring at the numbers, vivid and glittering, dancing in the air. She stood there, rather still, watching them flying all around.

“Well, at this moment, you seem no longer afraid that I would kill you?” The words were almost blurted out, with a hint of confusion on its face.

"You can kill me any time if you want to. To me, death is just like a seed, and there's no use worrying about it until it sprouts”, Liza smiled bitterly.










Itzel



December 22nd, 2020




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Chapter 54-56



It seemed stoned












No one really knows the role that dreams have played in your brain. Perhaps they will forever remain a mystery.

Liza hadn’t dreamed about anything in particular for the past few nights. Dreams kept straying far from her.

But this morning, she captured a scene of swimming fish sliding across from her dream.

Minutes later, someone called. A constant, sharp noise woke her up. It was a man gibbering something which sounded quite insane. Annoyed by his indecency, she hung up right away, then dashed into her kitchen after straightening up her room.

The smell of the crackling of coffee beans in the blender lit up her morning, and a piping hot cup of coffee promised a cheery mood.

She switched off the heating system and hurried over to the other end of the corridor to check on her fish.

When she peeped through the glass of the fish tank, she saw the big fish darting about and foraging for the tiny shrimps. She sat there on the warm floor, watching, fascinated by their usual behavior.

She took some lovely photos and videos of her fish. She was delighted to look at them without any untimely interruption.

She kept on watching. Her eyes followed each one of them, as long as she could, until a minor event drew her attention.

Apparently there was something very wrong with one fish. It seemed stoned, speeding behind an aquatic plant, and diving deep down to the bottom of the tank, with its head upside down against the smooth and tiny sandstones.












Chapter 57-59



The idea of parallel universes












When she finally finished watching the scene, she heard a voice, “Hey Liza, how come you are in my dream?” The fish stared at her with its dazed eyes, then giggled unnaturally.

The next moment, all the rest of the fish spooked at the noise and scattered in all directions. They hid in the corners or speeded into the cracks of the burrows.

“Liza, I am about to die of old age. If you have the divine permission as I thought, please take me with you to the promised land after my death. I will be with you all along the trip. Bless your soul.” Then it disappeared from her sight.

She was left in the empty room with nothing but silence. Her hearing was so sensitive that it seemed as if she had caught up with its final breath.

Fear floated in the air like a dying man’s last breath, literally unbearable. Something burned painfully inside both of her wrists and ankles.

The front gate opened and someone came in, snickering at her in a low tone. But she neither stressed nor worried about her safety as would have been usual. In this critical time, she was rolling on the floor and called out with great pain.

“I guess I arrived on time, Liza. I suppose that you must have heard about the idea of parallel universes. I am the one who came specially for your death. Don’t be afraid, I will hold your hand tight enough to be able to sense the last beat of your heart.”

“Soon your life will be sealed in a framed picture, all this process won’t take too long. You will be gone for good.” He muttered, his voice was clear and furry.

She uttered a cry of despair, then quickly everything ended, in a wail of grief.

Five minutes later, he walked out of the same gate, with a framed picture held tight in his arms.









Itzel




December 27th, 2020




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《Liza》




第四部分












第六十章





血红色的字符














这个男人的脚步十分轻巧,他缓慢地走向电梯,按了一下下行键。

电梯里四面都是镜子,映出一个不知为何看不清脸的人,他手捧着一张照片,这张照片看上去异常模糊。如果你凑近了仔细看,能看到一栋房子的整个轮廓,屋顶上依稀可见的是站立着的穿着紫色长裙的女人,她一直在上面走来走去。

电梯下行至五楼,涌进来几个人,其中一位是瘦高个儿的老头,他带着一个蹒跚走路的小男孩。那个男孩似乎看到了让他感到新奇的事情,他咿咿呀呀地叫着,跺着小脚,胖胖的手一直指着男人的裤腿,但他的反应没有引起任何人的注意。

很快,一楼到了,那个男人率先走了出去。他将照片裹进风衣里,穿过花园,向东南的方向疾步走去。

随着他脚步的加快,他的裤腿快速地甩动着,而他裤腿上布满的黑色细小图案也随着他的步伐变化着。如果你仔细看,会发现有无数如蝌蚪一样扭动的字符在他的裤子上灵活地滑动着,形似一条条黑色的异形小鱼。

有几个字符的颜色突然开始变化,接着有血红色的字符开始弹跳跃动。顷刻间,这些血红色的字符开始急剧膨胀,它们在迅速变大,接着只听砰的一声巨响,还没能看清到底发生了什么,那个人已不见踪影。













Itzel


2021年1月2日




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第61-64章




与鱼同游










如果说泥土是扎实而厚重的,那么水是流动而轻盈的。

踩在脚下的是泥土,揣在心里的是水。流动的水是透明的,泛着气泡,会因为水生植物与动物而更丰盈,更有弹性,更富有生机,更色彩斑斓。而实现这一切的前提就是:要有光。

此时,那个忽然消失的男人出现在了森林的深处。他探身走入一个山洞,循着水流声找到了地下水域的入口。

他拿出那幅画细细打量着,只见画中的风景有了细微的变化:原来那个女人正在屋顶上作画,屋顶已变了模样,上面绘出了立体而葱郁的森林。

尽管整幅画的画面依然模糊不清,但站在森林深处的人却异常清晰。那人一身黑衣,头上戴着一顶灰色的帽子。他忽然抬起头,能看清这是一个长相平淡无奇的男人。而他的怀里露出画框的一角:那是一个巨大的山洞,洞口站着一个看不清模样的人。

那个男人犹豫了片刻,像是终于下定了决心,他用力将画抛了出去。在画下坠的瞬间已被湍急的水流卷进漩涡的中心,转瞬之间就不见了踪影。

他心满意足地盯着那个漩涡看了好长时间,脸上荡漾着难以琢磨的笑意。接着他侧身爬上一块大石头,走上了通往山洞另一个出口的小路。

莉莎醒来时,她正躺在客厅的地板上。她的眼睛流露些许恍惚,因为她做了一个奇怪的梦。她梦见有人将她装进了一幅画里,并将她带离她的家,她随那人进入一片原始森林,最后那人将她扔进了水里。她只记得在她被水流卷走的那一刻,有人高喊:“莉莎,别忘了星舰。莉莎,快醒醒。”

在水快要没过屋顶的那一刻,有一个人爬上了屋顶。那人长着一张瘦瘦的瓜子脸,他的脸似乎被冻僵了,呈现青紫的颜色。他穿着一件白色的衬衫,下身配了一条牛仔裤,脚上穿着白色的便鞋。由于全身上下都湿透了,他看上去狼狈不堪。他向莉莎伸出了手,他说:“没时间解释了,你跟我走吧。”他拉住了莉莎的手,在汹涌的水流吞没整幅画前拽着她游向泛着青白色光芒的天空。












Itzel



2021年1月29日






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第65-68章



戒断










事情时常不尽如人意,但如果太阳照常从客厅的窗户射进来,就能照亮一个人的整个世界。

莉莎并不记得后面的事情,当她醒来时,阳光让她感受到了切实的温暖,这种熟悉的温暖让她觉得很安全。

她无法确切知晓究竟发生了什么,但她知道她已身处现实世界,这种感觉真好。

她走进厨房,为自己泡了一杯滚烫的咖啡。

咖啡是她人生中的一个习惯,她觉得或许终有一天也会戒断的。“到了再也不能喝的那天,自然就会停止了”,她对自己说。

能走到这一步实在是太不容易了,不过再也没有值得留恋的过去,这一点倒是她内心十分确定的。

她喝完了一杯咖啡,看了几份资料,像没发生任何事情一样镇定自若。好久都没有这种找回完整的自己的感觉了,那么哪怕在旅途中遗失了什么,对她来讲都是值得的。

有人给她打了个电话,是关于月前的一个项目。那人含糊其辞,不知到底想说什么。她敷衍了几句,迅速结束谈话。

她还有很多事情要做,接下去要进一步理顺那些已经清晰的事情,而不是去再一次翻搅曾经的困惑。每个人都走自己的路,不去客串与自己毫无瓜葛的任何一场戏。

又进来一个电话,她接了起来:“喂,哪位?”

“你好,近期你要注意安全,画框里的姑娘。”

“喂?你是谁?请你把话说清楚点。”她有些焦急,追问道。

还没等她说完,那人已经把电话挂了。









Itzel


2021年1月30日





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第69-72章



与水相连











若水有幸成为天,水将得以与人相连。

第二杯咖啡做好了,机器提醒她咖啡的温度,避免不小心烫伤。因为她做了一杯滚烫的咖啡,而不像往常那样是温热的。

有凉丝丝的液体从她左侧的耳朵里流出来,接着右边的耳朵也有同样诡异的痒痒的感觉。她放下杯子,抽了张纸巾擦了擦。这是一种黏黏的蓝色的液体,带着一股淡淡的水草的腥味儿。

她忽然感到有些恶心,是说不出来的恶心。她跑进洗手间,在镜子里发现自己眉心的位置有一颗痣。那是一颗浅蓝色的痣,有黄豆大小,在她的眉间忽隐忽现。

有人在近期一直给她发威胁恐吓的邮件,让她自动退出她去年经手的一个项目。邮件看上去花样百出,但核心内容却出奇的简单:退出,否则致你于死地。

她对着镜子微笑,接着大笑了起来。她的眼睛闪闪发亮,脸上的皮肤有些苍白,她盯着镜子中的自己看了半晌儿,那颗痣并没有消退。

“很好,这样很好。”她对着镜子里的女人说。接着她脱去了全部的衣服,赤身裸体地站在落地镜面前。除了身上的皮肤显得有些惨白,那依然是她熟悉的躯体。

她穿上了专业的潜水服,在外面套上了一件黑色的外套,背了一个包。她穿着荧光蓝色的拖鞋走出了大门,门在她离开之后提醒她9点回家。

这就是她的生活。已与水相连,并不再与人在情感上有什么瓜葛。









Itzel



2021年1月31日





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第73-77章



结构之塔










莉莎在很早以前有一种错误的认知,这种错误的认知是:迟早别人也会到达与自己接近的视野,于是她选择等别人成长。正因为如此她做了最不应该做的事情:容忍了不应该的事,并包庇他人的罪恶。但她并不知晓有人会一直利用她的包容之心为非作歹,来实现自己的目的。

这种错误造成的严重后果是她很久以后吃尽苦头才幡然醒悟的。一开始她的认知转变得很慢,因为她还抱有幻想,她觉得别人是会意识到她的良苦用心的。

但是的确是错了,大错特错。在她对此有更清晰的认知以后,她做了各种调整的尝试,试图用怀柔的方法来解决出现的问题。但她越怀柔问题就越严重,最后粉碎式摧毁了她整个柔性方案,而她建立的华丽的结构之塔彻底崩塌。

这对她来讲是非常痛苦的,但这一漫长的过程她从来没有让任何人真正知晓,因为说跟不说并没有太大区别,她独自一人承受了一切。结构之塔缺了一个真正的搭档,拉着一个根本不是自己伙计的人是没有用的。

在一切轰然倒塌的那一刻,她没有闭眼。她眼睁睁地看着自己的心血之作毁于一旦。

那些皮毛的攻击对她来讲又算得了什么?那些根本连自己说的到底是什么都一无所知的人是无法让她伤到骨头的。那些人顶多让她流点血,但她依然能站着,绝不会倒下。

但她的结构之塔粉粹的那一刻给了她致命的打击。不过她没有死,她靠着温柔的水存活了下来,并且活得脱胎换骨。

这就是她,九死一生,但依然存活的她。在困难与险境中,她学会了无数新的技能,实践了不少以前从未尝试过的新方法,她和她的鱼一样,活得弹性十足。她向水学习了新的生存技能,那就是不必那么刚强,而是有韧性地托举起自己的生命。

他人永远都不是生命的意义所在,这是她领悟到的最核心部分。








Itzel



2021年2月1日





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《Liza》



第五部分











第1-5章

与鱼为邻











莉莎最近过着与鱼为邻的生活,她真的很喜欢鱼。她喜欢看鱼在光的照耀下靓丽斑斓的色彩,喜欢它们可以随意生长的花纹,喜欢它们灵动飘逸的身体线条,喜欢它们躲藏起来憨态可掬的小模样。每一条鱼如此不同,这让她很着迷。她把所有她新买的图册里的鱼都学习了一遍,并将自己有兴趣了解的都买来养着。

喜欢鱼的同时,她也喜欢上了水中的世界。植物在光下吐出千万个泡泡,它们在阳光下呼吸,并在数日内直立而起。很多喜光的植物都有神奇的变色能力,光照越充足,它们生长出越艳丽的色彩,蜿蜒不可思议的细腻而丰富的纹理,呈现或清新自然或蛊惑人心的美。

水下的世界可以在数日内展现蓬勃生机,在半个月左右形成健全的生态系统。当她感叹它们的美的时候,她总能发现新的美,这是水中世界最神奇的地方。

不过经由水中植物的生长,她体会到了太阳的能量,第一次近距离感受光对生命的重要性。这让她逐步远离那些曾经令她焦虑不安的过往,忘却了过去的烦恼,连同那些她依然没想明白的事情。

她的机器人神秘地消失了,关于星舰她几乎没有时间去想,而最近由于执行过于隐秘的生活方式,几乎无人知道她的行踪。

自从上次受到了惊吓,不久之后她就离开了自己位于中心区域的公寓,搬去了自己的“秘密基地”,而这个地方几乎没有熟人去过。

她的鱼就是她最亲密的伙伴,每天陪她工作、学习,她给它们喂食,而鱼也习惯了她的靠近,甚至会到她掌心里抢食。

如果说光给了植物最强劲的生命力的话,那么植物直接给予鱼生命力的同时,也明显向她传递了这种生命力,这种能量让她也开始生长,她每天晚上睡觉之前都能感觉到那绵延不绝的生命力,这让她很早就能熟睡,并在太阳升起之前自然醒来。










第6-10章



陌生的来信










这天上午,她发现有一条鱼游起来的样子和以往不同。这是一条通体翠绿的鱼,尾巴与鱼鳍上刚长出仿佛黄玫瑰花瓣般鲜嫩而清晰的条纹。

它就像一只水中啄木鸟,头如捣蒜。莉莎盯着那条鱼观察了半天,并未发现它的皮肤上有异常。

不过她很清楚,若鱼有不同寻常的举动,通常都是状态不好的表现,这代表这条鱼有可能活不长了。但她并不想轻易下结论,她会继续密切观察。

在她查阅当日信件时,她发现有一封陌生的来信。上面写着:鱼的鱼,是鱼的鱼。这条信息的最后有一串后缀,字符显得很大,很明显是粗体的。字符为:XY-001-002_Zero_TJKL。

这封信的末尾有一个极其潦草的署名,看不清到底写的是什么。她记下了那串数字,并很快删掉了那封信。她其实并无太大兴趣去了解到底是谁发的,但如果这是完整拼图的其中一块,她至少没有因为马虎大意而随手丢弃。

吃完早餐以后,她手绘了一张图。只见图中雪白的云层中划过一条巨大的展翅翱翔的鱼,那条鱼嘴里叼着一只蝴蝶,蝴蝶翅膀的颜色金灿灿的,闪闪发光,很是好看。

她在那页纸的空白处写道:封缄为己悦,见瑜何处,水作故土,情系蝶翼,鱼跃云霄,金明灯耀,愚利于行。

当太阳光在正午时分直射进水里的时候,她本能地躲避那强烈到刺眼的光芒。她拿着一本绘本挡住了自己的脸,并迅速挪到靠角落的位置坐下。

有时候与己无关真的是好事情,无关就什么事情都能理得井井有条,并不会出现误差,也没有误会,更不会面临可怕的失误与陷阱。








Itzel


2021年2月9日



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第11-13章



寓言诗









“我只想生活,得出我是一个人的结论,过舒适坦荡的日子。这样的生活不见得光彩夺目,但一定不会漂泊无依。”

莉莎在今日写下这段话,是在告诉自己必须要一直坚持做与自己有关的事情,逐步规范自己的生活,在印象模糊的琐碎中维护真正的自己 ——— 一个独立的人。

这样的自己不见得非得向别人展示个性,事实上在日常生活中掩盖掉自己的个性才不容易在僵死的习俗中磨灭掉自己,充实的生活无需总是大显身手,只不过最温驯的表情也难掩颂扬轮廓下近乎本能的不顺从。

她早上起来就发现鱼缸里少了两条鱼。一条是尾巴有豹纹、腰部是孔雀翎纹的公鱼,一条是银白神仙。她仔细排查了好几遍,都没见这两条鱼的踪影。

她站在时间的今日,朝鱼缸里张望着,时间的叶片青翠欲滴,时间的花蕾在瞬息万变中绽放。那些在空气中绽放的花朵无需踮起脚尖,而这些水中花则时刻在超越,因此盛开的每一刻都显得尽善尽美。即便是无根之叶也并不虚弱无力,反而格外坚强有力。瞧啊,它们多么像一首首经典的寓言诗:渺小的才伟大,呼吸生活,绽放光华。










第14-18章



浅蓝色的叶子










“我所理解的超凡的理解如水,但你绝对不能乘机把水搅浑。因为在浑水中不仅分不清好坏,也完全辨不清美丑。你不知鱼在何处,也根本不知浑水中到底有何物,一切都显得杂乱而岌岌可危。”

在她的脑海中浮现上面这段话之前,她正在观赏一只巨大的金黄色的螺吞噬圆形的叶片。她从不怀疑人的潜力,但这种潜力通常很难被激发,同时她对“本性难移”这四个字有极其深刻的理解。

她在暗处观察,鱼在明亮的光下自由自在地游弋,夜晚由于有水与光的诠释而显得透亮而有光泽。

她只想驻足于自己的一片天地,在抛开一切法则的世界里穿着一身水做的长袍,穿行于每一个房间,在无需思虑再三的清晨与黄昏过最闲适的日子,在语言无能为力的日子里用心感受新世界。

“为什么水中的植物要进化出如此动人的颜色,这对它们的生存有什么好处?”

带着这个问题,她走向了正在变色的三色草,准确说这种植物的每片叶子的颜色都不大一样,它们都是渐变色的,颜色由浅绿色过渡到玫粉色。叶子的边缘呈现波浪形,组合在一起很像造型别致的一条裙子。

孔雀翎确实不知去向,而白神仙也再没有出现。水面上飘过来几片细长狭窄的叶片,她瞄了一眼,发现都是浅蓝色的叶子,而每片叶子上都有细细的金色绒毛。她从没有种过浅蓝色的植物,而这几片叶子似乎在水中迅速增大,原本那些绒毛也变得很粗。

接下来她看到了另她大惊失色的画面:那些绒毛像牙齿一样长成了整齐的一排排,并开始如触须般有节奏地蠕动着。








Itzel



2021年2月10日





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第19-22章



“鱼的鱼,是鱼的鱼”










早上她翻出了乔伊斯的《芬尼根的守灵夜》,读了一下开头与结尾,妙哉啊,妙哉!

发展中的人性是亮点,成型的则显现弱点,而故意隐藏的总带有恶念,最后一点其实很经得起推敲。

若一个一直看似温柔的人忽然变成了野兽,在这人露出獠牙的那一刻会令她难以接受。但只要能再次找回自己,并查看存在的缺陷,同时审视这个人与整件事,一切就会水落石出。

她目不转睛地盯着那几片叶子,试图找到合理的解释。蓝色的叶片忽然在水面上燃烧了起来,“触须”似乎在做最后的“垂死挣扎”,接着几片叶子全都烧成了灰烬。

莉莎显得出奇的平静,她站着一动不动地盯着水面,不过她的眼神却显得有些迷离。

“鱼的鱼,是鱼的鱼”,她嘴里念念有词。

二月十一日并未渲染不同寻常的色彩,但她终于发现了隐形的塞纳河。此时的她感到有些伤感,因为那条河并未如期流过她的窗前,而她在脑海里也遍寻不见对艺术的边界的新定义。

“那几片叶子的故事是否真的终结了?”她自问,但她没有答案,尽管她亲眼目睹它们全部化为灰烬。

假如此刻她正身处影院内,若周围鼾声四起也未能惊扰她,是否足以说明电影确实精彩?









Itzel



2021年2月11日




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第23-27章



花间记









莉莎养了几条“红脸斑马尾”,这种鱼的整个头部都是朱砂色的,尾巴上有漂亮的黑白斑马条纹。它们是群游鱼,喜欢整齐划一地一同游动。

昨天的电影嘎然而止,她在最后一幕结束后久久地立于水世界旁,似乎在脑海里搜寻更合适的词来形容她那一刻的感受。水面上泛着大大小小的气泡,只见一只海蓝色尾巴上呈现明显紫红光泽的大斑马鱼正在攻击一只观赏螺,那只螺急忙缩紧身体,在斑马再次啄食它前躲进壳内。

那条鱼并未就此打住,它做了令莉莎吃惊的举动。它用嘴将螺翻了个个儿,继续在壳外啄着。螺纹丝不动,而斑马也并未善罢甘休。它反复尝试同样的动作,直到它被另一条鹦鹉鱼嘴里的虾吸引。

她写了一篇题为《花间记》的文章,犹豫了片刻,又删掉了。因为写出来就是可视的,而删掉就会变成空白。空白是很有意思的积极的变化,如此她就会回忆起字里行间的关键点与存在的偏差。

她的脑海里忽然涌现出“棋盘格”,这是她养的另一种鱼。这种鱼相当“逆行”,因为在正常情况下是无法看见鱼影的。它们不仅平日从不露面,其它鱼吃食时同样看不到它们。偶尔棋盘格也会出来晃悠,但并无追光行事的特性。

经过一段时间的观察,她发现鱼虾的行为具有“首度不可预测性”,即没有发生第一次前,是根本无法预知可能发生的情况的。大多数鱼都喜欢追着其他鱼跑,它们看上去与其说是在猎食,更像是在做课间活动。有时候鱼虾会忽然一跃跳出鱼缸,不及时发现就死掉了。最令她感到奇怪的是,螺只要有一次爬出鱼缸的举动,就会在之后反复爬出来,很难避免这种行为的发生。大的螺能在一夜之间从一个房间爬到另一个房间,偶尔会在地板上留下依稀可见的水渍。

她的螺都是有编码的,金色的那种归属Universe,中型的带Sun,迷你的都被她冠以Earth。

值得一提的是,最大的那只巨型虾拥有一个她认为最容易辨识的名字,它叫:退堂。因为这只虾在过去的十几天内只与她打过一次照面。











Itzel


2021年2月12日




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“人们太爱断章取义了,同时也太容易对他人下定义、做解释。”

“我能说我用了近4年才刚刚揭开一个人的真面目吗?尽管我一直对那人的印象很好,觉得她是个温柔体贴、善解人意,对感情认真而绝对忠贞的人。”

“结果这人与以上这几点都丝毫不沾边。比起她来,我反倒像个修道士,这令我百思不得其解。”

“因为她,我在对感情忠诚这件事情上对人越发没有信心了。”

“因为此人完美地诠释了‘振振有词而毫无羞耻之心’。”

“遗憾的是,这人在几天前都依然被我冠以’朋友‘之名。”

“不幸是我,万幸也是我。”









Itzel



2021年2月15日







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我和我,我们是两个人。我拉着我自己说话,我跟我自己聊天、谈心。

每当我提出一个问题时,另一个人会侧耳倾听。在我跟我对话时,我特别讨厌有人在旁边大吼大叫。那些说话很大声的人,他们说话的声音与语气总能让我异常烦躁。

当我和我单独一起时,我们有时开心,有时冷漠,有时孤独。

有一天,那个人将仅带着自己的耳朵,他将彻底失去看世界的眼睛,因为他不再需要双眼去向外观。他是来到这个世界上聆听我和我的人,他会用心聆听我和我,他摸着我和我的头,他必须是一个如火焰般冷静的人,他拥有无限慈爱。

但凡躁动的人都不适合我,但凡嘶吼的人都不适合我。我和我需要的是一个很特别的人,一个能让我俩都能平静生活下去的人。

如果有一天你来了,请务必正式提醒我一下。如果你怎么也不出现,我和我会在下一世遇见你。












Itzel



2020年12月16日




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“我也不知道我为什么是这样子的,总之我的人生似乎总是不停摇摆着,甚至如秋千一样大幅摇晃。

我无法理解的事情真的有很多,但其中的大部分我根本无法诉说,不是因为过于离奇,而是不知道从哪里说起,该与谁说。”








Itzel



2020年12月11日




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《我会遇见眼里有光的人》









我会遇到眼里有光的人

在生命摇曳动人的午后

我恪守血液沸腾的骄傲

静待大地上甜润的芬芳

那人化身星辰下的精灵

向明日献上永恒的殿堂

黄昏尘影中的明暗奇景

是正午艳阳流逝的倒影

是告别秋日追思的圆满

是拂晓林中未知的静谧














Itzel




2020年12月8日




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A:常把生死挂嘴边是因为你是悲观主义者吗?

B:我始终不放弃希望,这是我对待人生的态度。在我的眼里没有绝境,只有另外一条路。

A:这么说你是乐观主义者了?

B:明显不是啊。生死挂嘴边一定带有悲剧色彩,但原因是我不喜欢自我欺骗。我会在自由意志里权衡,我不会误导我自己。

A:对待滑稽与肤浅你怎么看?

B:这两个词差别挺大的。滑稽有可能是个好词,但肤浅真的要看你如何使用了。不过大部分你觉得肤浅的人真的不是肤浅,而是无知。

A:在你的内心有没有屏障?

B:我的内心没有红线,但是会有黑区。不过我并没有刻意设置屏障的习惯。

A:这么说你的内心是敞开的?

B:敞开也没用啊,还不是照样打起来了么。所以对我来讲不算设置屏障,是讲不通就算了。

A:请用一个词来形容时间。

B:荒唐。

A:为什么这么说呢?

B:因为任何直白对抗的结果都是整齐划一的失利。







Itzel















A: 你提出“爱情的不可复制性”,能解释一下么?

B:意思是我不接受“爱情的可复制性”,一种爱情的模式只能践行一次。

A:是只能爱一次的意思么?

B:在这个阶段你不要提爱。对于完美主义者来讲,爱情是“燃烧式的暗杀”。

A:没听懂。

B:要么你“被杀”,要么对方“被杀”,两个人只能存活一个。

A:这么说你支持爱情的必然消亡了?

B:那要看你怎么理解消亡了。爱情是不可能永久性停留在一处的,因为维持不了平衡就会失衡。

A:失衡会怎样?

B:失衡就会消亡。所以爱情是“燃烧式的暗杀”,下一个阶段是什么,要等一方隐性消亡了才晓得。

A:既然一方消亡了,那就代表爱情结束了吧。

B:也可以这么说。

A:那你怎么看待那些“活下来”的人?

B:这些人不是以爱情的方式存活的,是用另一种方式存活。他们实现了某种平衡,这样的两个人或许能长期共存,如果运气好,那就是所谓的真爱吧。

A:你为什么说需要运气好呢?

B:爱情本来就是场战争啊,打败了也不稀奇,赢了根本不值得骄傲。而运气好的人,共享城邦,安居乐业,所以需要太多的运气。

A:原来如此。







Itzel














A:你如何理解人性的不完美?

B:你如何理解人性完美的可能性?

A:我觉得人性没有完美的可行性。

B:因为不完美才美。

A:你认为人性的不完美创造了美?

B:不是创造了美,而是实现了美。

A:你对建筑怎么看?

B:简洁的线条才流畅。

A:请简单评价你自己。

B:显现并消失,有形并无形。







Itzel














问:你如何解释痛苦这两个字?

答:除了肉体疼痛以外的痛苦具有独特性。人不能解释很多痛苦,是因为痛苦是情境式的,是我与你无关的感受。

问:如果我说我能理解呢?

答:不,你不能。但你或许能肉眼识别悲伤。







Itzel












《莱克辛的葬礼》






我今天参加了莱克辛的葬礼

我月中时早已知晓他的死讯

莱克辛的儿子一脸宁静无物

在他的脸上,我读不出哀伤

莱克辛是田园诗的灵感终结

天哪,我竟然也没那么悲伤







Itzel













艺术品没有光晕,因为即便有,也是随时可能消失的。
若光晕长在人群中,若光晕闪耀人世间。





Itzel













不在一条轨迹上的人是永远无法碰撞的。

原因很简单:始终不在一条轨迹上。

人们说的“我爱你”的意思是:我只爱自己。

相信谁也不傻,谁都没有听错。











Itzel



2020年11月29日



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这几年我感悟最深的几点:

1. 说教无用,所以道理最后都只能计划讲给自己听。悟的意义大过学;

2. 人与人之间没有感应是现实向,有感应是很奇怪的一件事情。不能说好不好,只能说很怪;

3. 感应能到哪一步说不好,有些时候若走歪了就消亡了;

4. 人永远是复杂的混合体,而我理解极致复杂的能力很强,理解普通的能力很弱;

5. 人都是可以升级与降级的。










Itzel



2020年11月28日




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“爱是什么玩意儿?”

“爱是纾解机器人时代到来之前内心深处恐慌的药片。”

“你有什么内心恐慌?”

“Red Plus Yellow ”

“吃多了怎么办?”

“找那个人算账。”

“打不过怎么办?”

“把它变成同类。”













年幼的我读书是因为好奇,是想搞清楚我爹都在看什么的强烈好奇心。

中学期间我看的都是稀奇古怪的书,不是因为好奇,而是因为我有点怪。

大学期间没看太多书,是疯玩的我。

而如今看书,一年跟一年都很不一样。

今年我的感想是:假如狗剩家不养狗了,我要不要咆哮?没办法咆哮啊!毕竟狗剩家不是我家。那我怎么办?我当然有办法。我要在书里挖地道,是一条通向狗剩家的密道。

我怀揣自己写的稿纸,那是写满不知所云的一大摞纸。我要趁着夜色从密道杀到狗剩家去,在日出前我把他家的粮仓给点着了。

狗剩必然出来救火,如此我就可以大摇大摆地潜进他家救狗。我抱起狗就跑,把那一大摞纸的其中一部分甩在他房间的地板上,其他的则遍布各处,包括床底下,以及所有柜子和抽屉。

狗剩虽说不大喜欢自己养的狗,但他是个有严重洁癖的强迫症患者,相信他一定会去拼凑所有的稿纸的,毕竟每一张都有编码,以及故事是需要全部稿纸才能读懂的。

相信他需要花很多时间去搜索那些稿纸,其中一张上写着:不爱狗的狗剩拉稀了。









Itzel



2020年11月27日





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不是生命无依无靠,而是宇宙太大,谁也没有曾被托举的原始记忆。

我们在同类里沉浮,就像洋流一样,时而温暖时而严冷,时而激越时而宁静。

不管是痛苦还是幸福,都不曾镌刻在我们的身体里,因为身体不足以承载什么。

不管是兴奋还是消沉,都不曾让我们彻底失控,因为我们也是洋流,在生命的周期内舞蹈,并迎接未知的下一个周期。

你不知道你是谁,我也不知道我是谁,如果你真的要问,那我们只是海洋中的水滴,在亲近另一滴水的瞬间
自我消亡。















我觉得拥抱幸福与快乐几乎接近本能,因为那是光源的方向。但那条路不太好走,所以不少人走着走着就放弃了。

幸福与快乐不是别人给予的,是自己赋予的。如果说你觉得人生充满疲惫与艰辛,那只是人生的本色出演。

幸福与快乐是需要学习的能力,是可以获得也可以丢失的能力,它们不是人的天赋。














谁都有可能打动你,一个字眼,一句话,一次微笑。

那一日就像流动的阳光一样让人晕眩,你走在巷子里,抬头看天空中的蓝,那一抹蓝同样打动你。

那份感动是记忆,触动了记忆中的你。

但那一日没能在你的记忆里留下更多的痕迹,因为你会拥有新的感动。

什么才能隽永?我想,我们都无法隽永。但拥抱能加深即将消逝的记忆,甜蜜的亲吻能让睡梦安宁。最终陪伴我们的或许是一个人,或许是几本书,也有可能是一只动物(或机器人)。

文字在某个阴冷的冬夜唤醒你的孤独,给予你追求人生幸福的某种力量。









Itzel



2020年11月24日




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《隐语》








六月歌唱悲喜哀愁

七月遗失亮彩神光

八月聆听黄昏心语

九月缱绻倦乏他乡

十月顽石光阴荏苒

时光苦乐昼夜花香

弦琴伶仃深潜鱼语

阴晴辗转幽暗低吟

秋日纤尘幻梦成蝶

隐语封缄孤舟一梦










Itzel



2020年11月17日




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有句话叫:不与常人论酒香。

这句话是我爸讲的。意思是若不是长年喝老酒的人,是无法品出两碗不同的米酒有什么实质差别的。

但实际是有差别的,即便不会喝酒的人也可以喝出差别。无非内行的人品出来的奥妙更多,外行的人浅尝则止。

你让不爱喝酒的人天天品米酒是不可能的,比方我这样的人,是真不上瘾。但一年喝一次是可以的,我还挺喜欢的。

人跟酒一个道理。我们不要说谁是俗人,谁是高雅的,这样很没意思。且就说每个人兴趣爱好是有不同的,何必勉强自己去喜欢不喜欢的呢?不喜欢就是不喜欢,喜欢就是喜欢,还不就挺简单的么。

你喜欢一杯米酒,你就喝几口,你很喜欢,你就多喝点,你根本不喜欢,你请离席即可。

人世间的事情也可以很简单,但分类复杂,人情复杂,人的心更复杂。

有一天我们终将告别,这是所有人都知道的一件事情,只因我们都活不了那么久。

除此之外,人想做什么,能成为什么样的关系,亲疏远近只需“缘”一个字就可以解释清楚了。

极简才是幸福的基石。










Itzel



2020年11月16日





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《星隐夜轻盈》









风颂榆槐歌

泉幽伴诗音

月系镜中伊

星隐夜轻盈











Itzel


2020年11月12日




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在清晰知晓一切与我无关的今日,也就让我有了近乎完美的“职业素养”。











Itzel



2020年11月12日



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不知有多少人跟我一样想回到童年。

但我在童年的时候一心想长大,是一天也不想再做小孩的期待。

怀着只想过童年的心活下去,挺好。要是天天开心那就更好啦。











Itzel



2020年11月11日




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关于书与写作








我对书与写作的热爱源自于孤独与困惑。孤独与困惑都不具痛感,因为是事实。

所以我不知何时会停止读书,也不晓得什么时候会放弃写作,我觉得有可能不会。

有一天我希望有人能代笔,因为口述这种事情听上去就很惬意。但有一个问题,我是个“间歇性哑巴”。










Itzel



2020年11月10日




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🎬







重新,Action(情绪饱满点,你,对,就是你)

重新,Action(笑一点,自然一点,对,就是你)

重新,Action(所以,你怎么不哭了呢?)

重新,Action









《腿毛与仙人掌》









“托蒂娅,生活有你的腿毛与仙人掌。

你有很多腿毛,我早就看到了,托蒂娅。”

“那么你呢,维维尼?”

“我?我有仙人掌啊。我在你腿上拔一根腿毛,去扎仙人掌。”

“维维尼你变了。”

“我从来没变,是托蒂娅的腿毛变了。”











Itzel


2020年11月3日



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《 发现树皮的美》









对每个人来讲,不存在最好的生活。但你依然可以像你希望的那样去设想生活。

我们时常赞美大树,不仅对它们茂密的枝叶赞叹不已,还十分享受树荫下的闲暇时光。

但我觉得树皮其实很美,因为我们虽然无法全方位地感受大树蓬勃的生机,但我们可以通过触碰树皮,来实现树与人的精确接触。这种碰触带来更加直观的对树这种生命体的理解。

大自然一草一木,没有什么是会特别关注人的存在的。而人对大自然除了观察,更多的是出自于人的额外解释。

人对自然其实是有很高的依赖性的,但由于人往往过高地判断自身价值,而很难去接受这种依赖性。人对自然的每一次侵占式掠夺都将自身孤立于自然之外,人的这种错判是不断重复,甚至变本加厉的。

而只有当你融入自然,并像触碰树皮那样去观察周围的世界,或许你的观感才会有所不同。










Itzel


2020年11月3日




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《雨季间歇的回忆》










童年那雨季间歇的回忆,是我至今记忆犹新的足音。

我喜欢坐在院落里看叶子一片片地从高处落下,其中的不少会亲吻我的头顶。从清晨到日落,它们滑过我的发丝,悠悠地飘落地面。落叶的宿命,是生命的轮回。

有些你认为早已忘记的过往印刻在你的身体里,而有些你觉得一生难忘的经历则在你成长的过程中渐渐隐去。

我时常被窗外的吆喝声惊扰,但那是生命鲜活的脚步声。

时光就这样疾走陌生的遥远,阳光在蓝色的迷雾中沉沉睡去。我在某个倦态的夜晚紧闭双眼,希望在下一次睁眼时遇见灿烂的阳光与明媚的天空。









Itzel


2020年10月7日




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《时间描摹彩虹》







有人誓以成功為羽,

有人畏怯死亡之血。

橫跨生死之間,

時間描摹彩虹。

人們遍尋生活的捷徑,

暗自竊喜,卻又莫名哀傷。

生活摒棄金口玉言,

悄然舔舐歲月的觸角。

唯有勇敢者的渡船,

靜靜地在風中蕩漾。






Itzel



2020年9月27日



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我关上了一扇窗,我又打开了一扇门,如此循环往复。

生活啊,我一点都不喜欢你,因为你并没让我好过。只是我还是喜欢阳光照耀下晃悠的光晕;我还是会在太阳照到额头那一刻眯起眼;我还是喜欢在宁静的夜晚眺望夜色下的霓虹灯。

我还是热爱生活的,在音乐的旋律中入睡,在万分焦虑中实现梦的安宁。

我是夜的宠儿,枕着风的翅膀入眠。









Itzel



2020年9月19日



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味道








对于生活的期待一定不是流离失所,我们热爱安静祥和的生活,就像门前的溪流静静地流淌,就像你平日里哼唱的小曲儿。

你唱歌的样子就像你从未走出大山似的,那是甜美而熟悉的旋律,就像野生的树莓,就像门前开满的红艳艳的小花儿。

我一直告诉你一定要绕开大路,因为大路通向未知的迷茫,而哪怕是你也只会喜欢森林里露水清甜的味道。








Itzel



2020年9月13日




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我与人群








我对人群的观点是:人群是非常值得接触的,但不见得与我有缘。

并不是说他们有多可怕,而我有多崇高,原因是通过他们让我看清了巷子里的肮脏,他们就像刚被擦干净的玻璃,让我无以遁形。

我们躲进了书本里,并不是因为我们不谙世事,而是因为我们不求甚解,生活时常过于粗粝,让我们无梦可做。

即便是现实的人也是需要做梦的,否则电影或许早已绝迹。

但生活是生活,书本是书本,电影是电影,三者区别很大。生活不是用钱就能过好的,尽管对这一点的认识个体差异悬殊。

不少书本是一天就可以读完的,而需要细细品味的是精品,并不是所有人都喜欢精品,多数人更关心娱乐与时效性。电影比书本更直观,商业片是用钱堆出来的,着眼点必然是即时效应。文艺片有些适合十几年以后看,而艺术片通常无人问津。

当我们看清了事物的本质与现实真相就不再慌张,因为现实其实一直如此,无非有些领域我们若刚接触,总有不适之处。






Itzel



2020年9月11日




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我喜欢像青松一样的人,这样的人直立而安宁。

我喜欢说话如泉水一般的人,那人若对我微笑,那微笑就永生不变。

倘若我没有强大的躯干甚至两手空空,那人也能立于我身旁;倘若我虚弱不堪,那人也会一直伴我左右;倘若我抑郁而不得志,那人也不会弃我而去。

人生是用实实在在历练而成的,浮华一世也抵不上片瓦遮身。我想要最安稳的守护,而不是去守护时刻会消失的幻影。

人之间的情感都讲缘分,缘分深浅决定人的走向。

像我这样善变的人,确实对缘浅之人没有期许。








Itzel



2020年8月30日



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月光高寒,却并非刻意清冷,而是被白昼没收了沐浴热情的奔放与洒脱。

白昼迎合黑夜的羽箭,庇佑月光的朦胧。

忧郁的起点是喜剧,欢乐的颂歌是悲剧,无人之境得以安眠。

我识得你,衣衫褴褛的你。你是暗夜之中的古怪之徒,饮尽蹩脚的苦楚,化身山峦野兽,回旋子夜窗棂。

孤独哪是诗篇?孤独是丧家之犬,是上膛的子弹,带着一触即发的破坏力。



Itzel


2020年7月7日



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《Ends in shattered poems》








I rarely praise roses, but I am thoroughly delighted with the joy brought by the rain.

Rainwater is absolutely poetic, with a deep sense of fulfillment of the spirit.

As is well known in the Jiangnan region, rainwater knocks on the roof tiles just like quick themes lead to the movement of time: Ding-dong,ding-dong. How passionate!

Like beautiful scenes in a film, the stream flows with the movement of its spirit.

It appears as a verdurous broad river among ranges of verdant hills. Swifts it seems to fly across sky, leaving traces of silhouettes behind: the clear figures of hectic farmers.

Thereby it’s not an era soaked in loss, the time was steeped in an overwhelming sense of disillusionment.

Although People have no expectations, they are not becoming more realistic. What metaphors could you make? And what can you expect for?

Apparently, man is too far apart from nature. Children have neither memories of playing on the muddy paths, nor of watching swifts making their nests.

People spend plenty of time in cities. We are ever so familiar with the inanimate, whereas we are even frightened by live beings. We’ve escaped from the villages in an early morning when the smoke curled up from the chimney. We’re addicted to the satisfaction of achieving desire over and over again. We are struggling in the confusion of finding out who we are and where to go.

If the flame’s determined to keep silent, the brave brightness ends in shattered poems.







我鲜少赞美玫瑰,但我会因落雨而雀跃。

雨水可以诗性十足,如此有灵性。江南的雨,若落在瓦房屋顶,会奏响叮咚岁月。像胶片里的美,小溪在雨季喷涌出波澜壮阔的气势,这是一条碧绿的大河,这是层峦叠嶂的青山,这是雨燕飞过的剪影,这是农人忙碌的身影。

如今这个时代,并非失落的时代,而是幻灭的时代。人们没有憧憬,并非更加现实,而是你拿什么寄喻,你又能做何期许?

人与自然离得太远。孩子既没有在田间泥泞的小路玩耍的记忆,也没见过雨燕做窝,人们把大量的时间花在了城市里,我们对没有生命的存在很熟悉,我们甚至惧怕生命体,我们逃离了炊烟袅袅的清晨,我们沉迷于欲望的一次次实现。我们挣扎于我到底是谁,要去向哪里的迷茫之中。

若火焰也开始缄默,勇敢的明亮终结于粉碎的诗篇里。








Itzel


June 29th,2020



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"I stepped into the crowd, yet I still expect a meaningful life.”

“It’s like when it’s raining and I have no money on me. Nevertheless I was still thinking about how much milk in my coffee would match the weather. ”

“Having mud on your feet won’t change the fact that we lived in a multicolored, attractive world.”

"There‘re an outrageous amount of people in the world. I barely notice them for they often appear invisible to me."








Itzel



June 28th,2020





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《孤独的可能性》








孤独的可能性,是一滴水隐晦的心愿。

不去追逐喜剧的剪影,喜剧是正午时分的骄阳,你得找到大树的庇佑,才能在树荫下聆听颂歌。

今天的你是明日裂隙中绽放的蔷薇。微笑是邻人的书签,夹在泛黄的书页里,讲述悠长岁月里的点滴。

我的孤独是夏夜晚风拂面,灼热中带着寂静,我再次站立在自由之门前,期盼流星划过夜空的美。

蝴蝶是丑陋抵抗命运修得的圆满。我在山谷中踱步,那些四季绘制的关于叶片的故事,是希望的践行,是对未来的摆渡,是难忘的空城。








Itzel


2020年6月22日




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河豚鼓鼓,娇憨可人。

河豚有毒,逃遁妙术。

放生海域,水湍鱼跃。

施渔于鱼,渔休鱼游。









隅之鱼


2020年5月30日




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专题 ——— 观点与讨论








*我的观点*

机器人无法替代人性。

在机器人大量生产的未来,我们需要人性来取暖。

或者,把自己也分解,组装成机器。

———————————————————

*讨论环节*

A. 公开参与讨论者

B.我


A. 机器没有想象中那么顽固的冰冷,人也没有想象中那么稳定的温暖人性。

B. 机器人具有人性就不是机器人了。人不具备人性就不是人了。

A. 毕竟人类只是碳基生物罢了。唯一能比一比的,大概是受困于生物形态的个人意识吧。

B. 人性与人的生物属性不太一样。尽管所有生物的生物属性都很有趣,但人的尤为复杂。在这些领域,不是三言两语能分析清楚的。人性最奥义的或许由复杂的生物属性引发的其他属性。比如文化属性。

A. 以下为个人观点,如果有什么常识性错误还请指正。


先是生存,然后是审美,搭建起了人类文明文化的基石和结构,二者都没有脱离开人类两足灵长类动物的碳基生物形态的限制。

比如生理性激素和心理情绪或想法之间是互相影响的,甚至前者对后者的潜在影响力更大一些。更细一点的例子,繁育的生存本能,会影响无意识时选择伴侣的要求,某一年龄段莫名开始求偶等等个体或群体的心态变化。这也是为什么说个人意志受困于生物形态。

被称为伟大而歌颂的,恰恰是最适合群体利益而不利于个体利益的人性,如“无私”的母爱。这一点,大概也是机器人(如果成了有独立生物族群特性的生物的话)基于非碳基最优解生物的生理状态下,很难理解或模拟的复杂不一致的“人性”。


非常赞同生物属性很有趣,基于生物属性推衍出的其他文明特征也很有趣这一观点。而不同生物属性下,会出现的相同和不同的文明特征,也很有趣哇(*•̀ᴗ•́*)و̑ ̑

B. 你说的其实就是人的生物属性。即人是由什么构成的。

但生物属性和与其他属性是并存的。如文化属性。没有其他属性的人,只有生物属性的人类同于其他生物,比如猴子。当然由于人的群体庞大,人的除生物属性以外的其他属性发展程度是有先天差异与后天差别的。所以人的总群体参差不齐,但个体可以卓越。

人的最大的局限性是由生物属性造成的,即人的必然死亡。或者说个体的生命过程是短暂的,以及人是肉身,有诸多不便。


A. 你所指的文化属性,能简单说说某一个例子吗?比较好奇你的定义。

B. 人通常应该具有多元文化属性。每种属性都有其对应的核心价值观。中国人有自身传承的文化,也可以倡导或者采纳其他类型的文化。 比方说西方的哲学、科学都是文化属性的范畴,中国也有自己的道、儒等。 讲到文化属性,一定是建立在生物属性基础上才可以探讨的领域。脱离生物属性,人不能存活,谈不了文化属性。但如果完全脱离文化属性,本质人性真正价值会大大削弱。 一个人靠生物属性不足以与其他生物明显区分。从某种意义上讲,强调生物属性:人和猩猩没什么本质区别,或许还不如猩猩强壮,更灵活,更有野外生存的诸多能力。人的生物属性并非人的优势范畴。以及很多人的脑部(智力)发展也不见得有多优秀。 我认为人性是错综复杂的,生物属性决定人性的很大一部分是必然,但文化属性等的存在是人性独特性的所在。把人简单用生物属性归纳总结是不全面的。 个人见解。以上。

A. 理解了(*•̀ᴗ•́*)و̑ ̑。






2020年5月25日




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《Time》









Time is not gravel, it‘s blood. As is known to all, sand flies all over the sky, yet time flows, often with a clear-cut distinctive identity.

In the sense of variation, people are fully aware of time. But time shall not strive to cultivate and capture pollen, nor to compose a farewell song. It shall not shed tears, nor will it toss and turn.

Time uses its own devices to make this crystal clear: that a great distance was not so far, and that being near was not intimacy.

Make a clear sweep of the shackles and free the present and future.

Daylight is the left hand of time, whereas darkness is accepted as the right hand of time.

Sturdy steeds gallop on the flatlands. We bow to our expressions over time, filled with surprised reverence. The sky conveys the beauty of clouds moved by wind, and the sea acts out from jealousy of the cozy life of the distant stars. The offspring of the Sun hides in an anonymous letter.

Oh, a baby born in the eye of blessing, he gazed at the turnover of the seasons, stumbling along, totteringly, embarrassing the wrinkles of time, and shred the ages away.








时间不是沙砾,是血液。因为沙砾漫天飞舞,而时间是流动的,常带有鲜明的个性特征。

人们通过变化感知时间,时间不会培植花粉,不会谱写离歌,不会辗转低泣,时间用自己的方式让你明白一个道理: 最远的并不远,最近的也不近,连根拔起的是桎梏,释放的是现在与未来。

白昼是时间的左手,黑夜是时间的右手,平原里驰骋骏马,我们抒发对时间的感受,用了万分的敬畏之心。天空用风来传递云朵的美,海洋嫉妒星辰遥远的安逸,太阳的后裔藏在了匿名的信笺中。

眼睛里降生的婴儿啊,他凝视四季的更替,踉踉跄跄,跌跌撞撞,拥抱时间的皱褶,抚平岁月的沧桑。












Itzel



May 24th,2020




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《岁月》









岁月,岁月在缝隙中挣扎绵绵长夜

夜风袭来,面庞若是腼腆清晨之书

书签游弋田野,纤尘畅想城市轻盈

盈盈玫瑰采撷,舟船相会恍然如梦













Itzel



2020-05-22




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《羽毛遮掩太阳》






我张开手臂,学雏鸟展翅飞翔

快,把追风舞蹈的花贼抓起来

瞧你,我可没想拥抱这个世界

蜻蜓炫耀鎏尖,羽毛遮掩太阳











Itzel



2020年4月24日











《桥》







我用手指勾勒庇护所的桥

桥上风光是水鸟的赞美诗

桥下斜阳是四叶草的圣礼

水鸟唤醒黑夜,水漾微凉

双唇舔舐寂静,沃土芳香











Itzel




写:2020年4月24日

改:2020年11月12日





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《 The possibility of loneliness 》











The possibility of loneliness, is a drop of a hazy wish.

Instead of chasing the dramatic silhouettes of comedy, which appear as the hot midday sun, you strive for the shelter of a luxuriant tree, to enjoy an ode under its shade.

Today you are a signal red rose bursting into blossom through a fissure of tomorrow.

Now within the neighborhood, smiles lighted up their faces, which until then had appeared as bookmarks caught between faded, aged pages, telling stories of long years.

My solitude is the lonely breeze of a summer night, silently flicking my face, dwelling in the unsteady heat.

I stand at the gate of freedom again, eagerly awaiting the charm of a passing meteor. It is all passionate light as it brushes across the night sky.

Butterflies are the great triumph of ugliness against fate. As I paced through the valley, I recalled stories about the leaves being painted by the four seasons, becoming more than hope. A ferry rowed us over to the other side: the future. But yonder was also an empty city, an uninhabited land which deeply impressed me.









Itzel


November 2nd, 2020




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我们为什么要读书?是因为我们对万事万物有充分的好奇心。知识是阶梯,能让你飞跃的不是阶梯,而是你凝视世界的目光。








Itzel





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荒蛮之地杂草丛生

宇宙束缚神明虚妄

命运激愤三军铁骑

苍鹰逐鹿性灵易朽









Itzel



2019年12月20日



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已读书籍4228,未及整理的原因主要是整理拖延症。


喜欢书的类别有:哲学、心理学、诗歌、小说、戏剧(部分)、天文、天体物理学、逻辑推理、科幻、生命科学、古建筑、古文明、艺术绘画。

喜欢英剧、美剧、小众电影,生命科学、天体、宇宙科学、古建筑、古文明、科幻、艺术绘画。


电影看了很多,没整理过数量。经常不闻热门剧,时常喜欢冷门剧。


音乐,听了近2万张砖,具体数量未计,懒。


不喜欢豆瓣的理由写一下:这不是一片热土,不是热爱自由与独立的灵魂能够自主呼吸的地方。狭隘,有强烈的偏见,不能发表个人主张与见解,经常莫须有被禁言,总是无端被删除文章、帖子。已变成粉饰太平的基地,试图营造一派祥和,看似普天同庆、生机盎然。商业运作气氛已颇为浓厚,总是不对口畸形推荐,是非正常交友与难以言传气息显著的平台。


此人生人勿近,不喜欢社团活动,不喜欢读书群,不爱写书评,不爱交流读书心得。如遇商业运作(个人推销、传销、营销号),甚至公然以各种手段骗钱,即刻拉黑删除。

非盈利才是生活的精髓。

今明两年业余时间要多写文章,并整理(或修改)已写的东西。



Itzel

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