“When I had walked for over an hour, I saw a drugstore that was open. I went in and had a cup of coffee. The coffee was reheated, black and bitter—its taste was medicinal, exactly what I needed. I was already feeling relieved, and now I began to feel happy. Such happiness, to be alone. To see the hot late-afternoon light on the sidewalk outside, the branches of a tree just out in leaf, throwing their skimpy shadows. To hear from the back of the shop the sounds of the ball game that the man who had served me was listening to on the radio. I did not think of the story I would make about Alfrida—not of that in particular—but of the work I wanted to do, which seemed more like grabbing something out of the air than constructing stories. The cries of the crowd came to me like big heartbeats, full of sorrows. Lovely formal-sounding waves, with their distant, almost inhuman assent and lamentation.
This was what I wanted, this was what I thought I had to pay attention to, this was how I wanted my life to be.”
Family Furnishings，Alice Munro
This was what I wanted, this was what I thought I had to pay attention to, this was how I wanted my life to be.”
Family Furnishings，Alice Munro
明天就去逛公园的广播 · · · · · · ( 全部 )
明天就去逛公园 说：
大S离世这么多天了，其实我还是没有缓过来。但这种哀伤是很私人的，和大S本人关系很微弱。我只是不停回想起我和姐姐妹妹妈妈一起坐在电视机前看台湾综艺共享白天和黑夜的场景。那个时候，我是一个生活在小城市的小学生，生活如此狭窄，命运又如此不可想象，于是误以为我们也能像大小S和她们的姐妹团那样，永远在一起。小时候在一起，长大也在一起，私下在一起，工作也在一起，世界永远小小的，只够我们几个人手拉手徘徊。结果十几年过去了，命运和生活不仅分开了我们，也分开了她们。我自己的生活的幻想没有实现的可能，而曾经被别人实现过的幻想原来又如此轻易就被终止了。有时候我简直是在恨命运，因为我除了顺服地恨它，没有任何能做的。
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