letter to bymmers: 你无法独自成为最好的自己
you can't be the best you can be on your own
hey bymmers,
有个理论叫做 the hero's journey (from Jung, Campbell), 大意:天下故事基本都是一个套路,即一位普通人过着原本平静平凡的生活,因为某种机缘,开始一场历险,过程中得到高人相助,还置于死地而后生,总之克服艰难险阻,自身获得成长,最后倚天屠龙,获得美人和珍宝而归。
大家对比一下古今中外的故事,从牛郎织女到星球大战,基本都是这个路数(当然有些 variations). 但是这个理论 has a strong male perspective bias. 比如结尾 “抱得美人” 这明显是个男性视角。那么 what's the female version of the hero's journey? i.e. the heroine's journey?
Canadian psychologist Peterson gave his interpretation:女性的 “英雄之旅” 是 find a man that's savage and powerful, but has a kind heart, and tame him, thus liberating him from beast to man.
这个 heroine's journey 最典型的演绎就是《美女与野兽》。
Peterson 这个解读可能会让很多人不舒服:为什么女性需要通过 “驯化” 男性来自我实现?不过这里大家不要把 “女性” “男性” 完全从字面理解。实际上这里的 “性别” 更有点像法语语法中的 “性别”,并不是指我们所理解的 “性别”(虽然两者有高度重合),而更是一种 “原型” (archetype). 很多女性也践行 hero's journey; 男性也可以 live out the female version.
I am not here to argue the validity of this "heroine's journey". But let's say we suspend our skepticism for a moment -- what i like about Peterson's interpretation is that, it presents a path to realization (enlightenment?) that cannot be completed alone, for neither men or women.
say you are a guy. it doesn't matter how smart or strong you are, your development is arrested (haha, 向 “arrested development” 致敬!). You are stuck in your crude, beastly state, until some female comes along and tame you. and you know, i think this is exactly what's happening to some of the guys i know.
marriage is on the decline these days, and i think bymmers have no shortage of people of telling you it's okay (indeed preferable) to opt for the single life. i'd just like to provide an alt. view to balance it out. either way, have a kick-ass life!
follow weibo hashtag #heybymmers# follow me on weibo: bymfeng
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