read a humorous story each day

hiker

来自: hiker(kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-01 23:20:31

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  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-02 21:01:48

    *Story 2*:〈Act your age,not your shoes size〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1363330933/

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-03 23:29:39

    *Story 3*:〈Are you trying to get me killed〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1364858371/

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-04 21:14:50

    *Story 4*:〈Behave yourself〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1366009828/

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-05 22:59:54

    *Story 5*:〈Contrary to popular belief,she's not a bad girl〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1367430555/

  • erziyuchuan

    erziyuchuan (Don't break my heart) 2012-01-06 05:35:48

    Speed is desirable
    what's that mean?

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-06 23:54:53

    The meaning of "Speed is desirable" is to move at once.

    *Story 6*:〈Could you exert all your strength〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1368710572/

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-07 22:23:53

    *Story 7*:〈Current trends in clothing are becoming more and more bizarre〉
    http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1369854320/

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-08 22:25:35

    *Story 8*:〈Two Tickets Please〉
      A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
      When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
      Notes:
      (1) be (fall) in love with 爱上
      (2) disappointed adj.失望的
      (3) sell out 售完,卖完
      (4) sur-ticket n.附加票

      两张电影票
      一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。周末,他请她看电影。来到售票处,小伙子对售票员说:“请给两张票。”售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。失望的年轻人说:“那么,您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-10 10:53:34

    *Story 9*:〈I'll Keep it on My Floor〉
      My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
      Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I'11 keep it on my floor. "


      Notes:
      (1) be proud of 为……感到自豪They were Very proud of their success.他们对他们的成功感到非常骄傲。
      (2) layer n.层
      (3) equipment n.设备
      (4) accompany v.陪伴
      (5) credit union 信用联社
      (6) account n.(银行)账户
      (7) process v.办理
      (8) accessible adj.可接近的,可用的

      放在地板上
      我的儿子杰弗,十六岁。他是一个令父母感到自豪的孩子,只是你别去看他房间的地板,那上面总是堆满了一层层的衣服、杂志及运动器材。
      不久前,我带杰弗到信用联社去开他自己的账户,这是他第一次开银行账户。当信用社职员在办理手续的时候,我便告诉杰弗说他需要一个安全可靠的地方来保存密码本。“我知道,妈妈,”他回答说,“我会在地板上找到地方的。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-10 21:56:23

    *Story 10*:〈The Attraction of the Map〉
      Mr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"

      Notes:
      (1) subject n.题目
      (2) audience n .听众
      (3) jokingly adv. 开玩笑地

      地图的吸引力
      史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。在每次课的开始,他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演,题材不限。轮到杰克作讲演时,他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在当地工作。但在讲述过程中,杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。他开玩笑似地对杰克说:“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥,他现在在南美还好吗?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-11 22:18:10

    *Story 11*:〈What Grade?〉
      Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
      "Eleventh!" Kristin replied.

      Notes:
      ① niece n.侄女 ④ full-service n.昼夜服务
      ② license n.驾驶执照 ⑤ pump n.加油机
      ③ pull up 停止

      哪一级
      我的十七岁的侄女,科里斯蒂,刚刚拿到驾照。她主动提出去加油站给她妈妈的车加油。她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。服务员问她:“(加油加到)哪一级,小姐?”
      “十一(年)级!”科里斯蒂回答说。

  • 刘子骥

    刘子骥 (无中生有) 2012-01-11 23:57:49

    whatever, thank you, guy

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-12 22:14:27

    *Story 12*:〈An Adult Decision〉
      The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

      Notes:
      (1) constantly adv. 不断地
      (2) tattoo n. 文身
      (3) permission n. 允许
      (4) masculinity n. 阳性,男性
      (5) image n . 形象,肖像
      (6) Mickey Mouse 米老鼠

      成年人的抉择
      我儿子十八岁前的那一年,他常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这样做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了,并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。果然,十八岁生日的几天后,他文了身,回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴,但出于好奇,我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-14 18:10:29

    *Story 13*:〈We are on That Mountain Over There〉
      My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.
      "I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"

      Notes:
      (1) hike v.远足;徒步旅行
      (2) Rockies n.(美国)落基山脉
      (3) compass n.罗盘
      (4) go off course 走下了道
      (5) electronics n.电子学

      我们在那座山上
      落基山脉徒步旅行时,由于爬得太高,我和儿子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地图和罗盘来确定我们是在哪儿走错了路。我的儿子是位电子学工程师,他却马上从包里拿出一个全球定位系统接收器。他很小心地把仪器锁定在地球上空的四个卫星上,认真地看了看仪器上的图。然后他自豪地宣布道:“我知道我们的确切位置了。我们就在那边的那个山上!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-15 23:58:33

    *Story 14*:〈I'm Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer it〉
      A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.
      "Sounds great," the scientist said.
      When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
      "Yes," said one processor.Then he launched into a highly technical question.
      The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "

      Notes:
      (1) on one's way (to)某人在……的路上
      (2) chauffeur n.受雇驾驶私人汽车之司机
      (3) give you the night off让你休息一个晚上
      (4) auditorium n.礼堂
      (5) settle v.使安身;使安定
      (6) launch into开始
      (7) panic-stricken adj.惊慌失措的

      让我的司机来回答
      一个著名科学家起程去再作一个讲座。他的司机出了个主意:“老板,您的讲座我已听了这么多次了。我打赌我能作这个讲座,让您休息一个晚上。”
      “那太好了。”科学家说。
      到了礼堂,科学家戴上了司机的帽子,坐在了后排。而司机走上了讲台,作讲演。讲演结束后,他问听众是否有什么问题。
      一个教授说有,并提出了一个高深的学术问题。
      司机一时被问懵了,但很快就镇定下来。“这很容易,”他说,“太容易了,我要让我的司机来回答。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-16 23:15:09

    *Story 15*:〈Where Do You Want These Blinds〉
      A drill sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room in the barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtful they could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door . "Who is it?" asked one of the women.
      "Blind man, "came the reply.
      Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door.
      "Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "Now, where do you want these blinds?"

      Notes:
      (1) drill n .军事训练;操练如: The soldiers were at drill in the barrack square.兵士们在营房的操场上操练。
      (2) sergeant n.中士
      (3) recruits n.新兵
      (4) barracks n.兵营;营房如:The barracks are quite new.那些营房相当新。
      (5) doubtful adj.怀疑的;不能确定的
      (6) ruin v.使毁灭;使败坏
      (7) strip v.脱下;除去
      (8) nude n.裸体人像
      (9) knockouts n.动人的人或物
      (10) blind adj.盲的;瞎的n.卷式窗帘

      窗帘挂于何处
      一位军事训练中士命令两个年轻的女兵去油漆营房里的一间屋子,并一再强调不得把漆弄到她们的制服上。她们对不把衣服弄脏表示很怀疑,所以就把门插上,脱了衣服,裸体在里面油漆。大约一个小时过后,她们听到有人敲门。
      “谁呀?”其中一女子问。
      “送窗帘的(与‘盲人’同音同词----编者),”来者答道。
      她们觉得让一个盲人进来无妨,就开了门。
      “哇,多动人的人儿呀!”那男子惊奇地说,“现在你们想把窗帘挂在哪儿?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-17 22:09:02

    *Story 16*:〈Whose Dog Was the Smartest〉
      Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.
      The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.
      The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.
      The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.

      Notes:
      (1) do (show) your stuff显显你的本领;露一手
      (2) trot v. 疾走;快步走
      (3) triangle n.三角形
      (4) accountant n会计
      (5) nibble v.轻咬
      (6) beckon v.招手令他人走近或跟着来
      (7) ounce n.盎司(重量单位,常衡为1/16磅)
      (8) holler v.喊叫
      (9) soil v.弄脏;弄污

      谁的狗最聪明
      四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。第一个人是个工程师,他对自己的狗喊道:“T形角,使出你的本领来。”这只狗便跑向一个书桌,拉出一张纸和一支铅笔,画出了一个完美的三角形。
      第二个人是个会计。他对他的狗说:“珠算法,上吧。”那狗直奔厨房,用嘴咬开一袋甜饼并把饼分成了四等份。
      第三个人是位药剂师。他命令他的狗----量杯,表现一下。但见那狗径直走向冰箱,叼出一瓶牛奶并精确地把八盎司牛奶倒入一个量杯中。
      最后一位是政府职员。“休息时间,”他对自己的狗喊叫,“去吧。”话还未落,那狗便跳将起来,踏污了那张纸,吃掉了所有的甜饼,喝光了那杯牛奶。

  • [已注销]

    [已注销] 2012-01-17 23:38:59

    楼主,前面几个故事只有题目啊………
    Where are the content?

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-18 21:50:23

    Sorry,story 1-7 are caricatures.

    *Story 17*:〈What Will Be the Headline〉
      When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal. "
      The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
      "Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog. '"
      "Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
      "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"

      Notes:
      (1) Ga. Georgia的缩写(美国的)乔治亚州
      (2) come upon 偶然遇见
      (3) grab v.抓取;揽取
      (4) throttle v.勒死;缢死
      (5) congratulate v.祝贺
      (6) vicious adj. 凶恶的
      (7) Connecticut n.(美国)康涅狄格州
      (8) huff n.发怒
      (9) Yankee n.(美国南北战争中)北部诸州的人;北方佬

      标题是什么
      一位男子在乔治亚州的麦根城遇到一条狗在袭击一个男孩。他敏捷地用两手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位记者目睹了这件事,向这位男子表示祝贺并说次日的新闻标题将是:“本地男子杀恶畜救孩童”。
      然而,这位英雄却告诉记者他不是麦根人。
      “那么,”记者说,“标题可能为‘乔治亚男子杀狗救孩童’。”
      “实际上,”那男子道,“我是康涅狄格人。”
      “这样的话,”记者怒气冲冲地说,“标题将是‘北方佬杀死家庭爱犬’。”

  • [已注销]

    [已注销] 2012-01-19 01:01:12

    3Q,LZ,it is so kind of you… I will keep focusing on the post and supposing you!

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-19 21:14:01

    :) Thanks for your supporting!

    *Story 18*:〈A Challenging Hunt〉
      A woman answered her front door and found two boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we are on a treasure hunt, and we need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar. "
      "Wow," the woman replied, "who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend. "

      Notes:
      (1) pork-chop 猪肉排
      (2) carbon paper复写纸

      富有挑战性的搜寻
      一个妇人打开前门,看到两个男孩手里拿着一张字条。“夫人,”其中一个解释道,“我们在寻宝。我们需要三颗麦粒、一块猪排骨、一张用过的复写纸来挣一美元。”
      “哦,”那位妇女回答道:“谁让你们作这样富有挑战性的搜寻的?”
      “是我们保姆的男朋友。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-20 21:09:35

    *Story 19*:〈You are Not Going to Make it〉
      Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
      "Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
      On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
      "I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.

    Notes:
      (1) gravely adv.特别严重地
      (2) physician n.医生
      (3) motion v.以动作或手示意
      (4) ensure v.保证
      (5) survival n.生存
      (6) stress-free adj.没有压力的
      (7) complain(about)v.抱怨;发牢骚
      (8) passionate adj.热烈的

    你活不成了
      一个人得了重病,妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后,医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
      “你丈夫病得很重,”医生说,“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一,一日三餐,要营养美味。第二,给他一个轻松的环境,不要抱怨。第三,每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
      在驱车回家的路上,丈夫问道:“医生说了什么?”“很遗憾,”她说,“你活不成了。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-21 21:33:17

    *Story 20*:〈A Pleasant Surprise〉
      A friend of mine had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.
      A few days later a neighbor came over to visit my friend. After admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen. "

    Notes:
      (1) cabinet n. 橱柜
      (2) extravagance n.奢侈
      (3) overjoyed adj.大为高兴的;极为开心的
      (4) install v.安装
      (5) be confined to限制;限于范围内

    惊喜
      我朋友有很长一段时间一直想在厨房添置一些厨柜,但她丈夫坚持说这是铺张浪费。她去娘家过了两周,回到家来,发现厨房里新添置了漂亮的厨柜,这令她喜出望外。
      几天后,邻居来拜访我朋友。欣赏了新厨柜后,邻居说:“你不在家的时候,你丈夫弄失了火。我们都深感庆幸只是厨房遭了殃。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-22 22:00:51

    *Story 21*:〈A Clever dog〉
      A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
      "How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
      "Five dollars.
      "Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."

    Notes:
      (1) claim v.声称
      (2) when given money是 when he was given money 的省略
      (3) news stall n.售报亭
      (4) insist on 坚持
      (5) demonstration n.演示
      (6) trot off 小步跑开


    聪明狗
      一位养狗人宣称:要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示,并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来。
      “你给了它多少钱?”狗的主人问。
      “五元。”
      “这就是了。你给它五元钱时,它就去看电影。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-23 21:33:43

    *Story 22*:〈It Seemed like Hours〉
      As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.

    Notes:
      (1) band n.乐队
      (2) instructor n.指挥
      (3) turn in上交;归还
      (4) signed by their parents:由他们的父母签名的。这是一个分词短语作定语修饰sheets.
      (5) so I can be sure they are putting in enough time:这样我才能确定他们投入了足够的时间。这是so that 引导的目的状语从句,其中that省略。


    犹如几个时辰
      作为一个小学的乐队指挥,为了确保学生投入足够的时间练习,我要求他们上交由他们父母签字的练习单。可是有一次,一位家长的签字把我逗乐了。练习单上写着:“练习了17分钟,但犹如几个时辰。”

  • Rita

    Rita 2012-01-23 21:35:55

    M!这活动不错

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-24 20:41:35

    *Story 23*:〈Mother's Feet〉
      To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project. As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet. My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.

    Notes:
      (1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止
      (2) pester v.使苦恼;困扰
      (3) massage v.按摩;揉捏
      (4) lounge v.懒洋洋地坐着或站着
      (5) contractor n.承包商
      (6) improvement n.改进;改善
      (7) renovation n.修复;修理
      (8) slip off滑脱;掉
      (9) mindlessly adv.不注意地
      (10) soothe v.抚慰;使镇静
      (11) embarrassment n.局促;不安

    母亲的脚
      为避免我们的狗----莱希,纠缠来访的客人,我母亲常在爱犬喜欢呆的地方,即餐桌下面,摩昵它。一天,一个建筑商来谈居室装潢工程。在这人和我母亲坐在餐桌边谈居室的修茸时,我母亲滑脱了她的鞋子,开始不经意地用脚摩蹭起莱希来。谈话进行了半个小时的时候,我母亲突然感到很不好意思起来,因为这时她听到了莱希在前门外的犬吠声。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-25 20:51:10

    *Story 24*:〈I Want to Get Out〉
      A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
      The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in----"
      "I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out

    Notes:
      (1) obviously adv.明显的
      (2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
      (3) slam v.砰然放下
      (4) interject v.突然插话

    我要出去
      在凌晨两点,酒吧店主锁了店门,回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟,这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业?”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。
      店主非常气愤,砰地一声挂上电话又上床去睡。几分钟后又有一个电话,他听到还是那个声音问同样的问题。“听着,”店主嚷道,“不要问我什么时候营业,因为我不会让你这种人进----”
      “我不是想进来,”那人打断他的话,“我要出去。”

  • matt007

    matt007 2012-01-25 20:55:01

    how do you compile these funny stories

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-26 23:57:34

    :) They are all from other's share. Please correct it when you find out any mistake. Thanks!

    *Story 25*:〈Nest and Hair〉
      My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
      "What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
      "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
      "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
      "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

    Notes:
      (1) inform v.告诉
      (2) nest n.窝;巢
      (3) description n.描述
      (4) encourage v.鼓励
      (5) resemble v. 相似;类似

    鸟窝与头发
      我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次,一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
      “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
      “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
      “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
      “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”

  • Herman 5

    Herman 5 (blue collar) 2012-01-27 00:38:47

    好き。ありがとう。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-27 21:01:37

    *Story 26*:〈I Never Work after Supper〉
      A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field,, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"
      The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.
      When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's have supper too. " They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.
      "Now that the meals are out of the way, " the farmer announced, we can go out and work all day without interruption. "
      "Oh, no, " the farmhand answered. " I never work after supper.

    Notes:
      (1) penny-pinching adj.吝啬的
      (2) hired hand n. 帮手
      (3) nuisance n. 讨厌的事物、人、行为等
      (4) wash up洗
      (5) be out of the way解决某事
      (6) interruption n.打断某人


    我晚饭后从不工作
      一位农场主非常吝啬,不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上,他对帮手说:“从地里回来,又要洗手吃饭,又花时间,真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间,现在就吃午饭呢?”
      雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是,两个人又开始吃起来。
      吃完后,吝啬鬼说:“既然我们还在桌子边,让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。
      “现在三顿饭都吃过了,”农场主宣称道,“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
      “哦,不,”那帮手回答说,“晚饭后我从不工作。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-28 23:24:56

    *Story 27*:〈I've Just Bitten My Tongue〉
      "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
      "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
      "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "


    Notes:
      (1) poisonous adj.有毒的
      (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。句中Cause是Because的缩略形式。


    我刚咬破自己的舌头
      “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
      “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
      “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-29 21:41:11

    *Story 28*:〈Job Technique〉
      Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"
      "Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.
      "Works every time," the driver said with a wink.


    Notes:
      (1) Oahu n.瓦胡(岛)
      (2) straggler n.落伍者;掉队者
      (3) show up显现
      (4) approach v.走近;接近
      (5) be about to(do)(表计划)即将做
      (6) board v.上(船、火车、飞机、公共汽车等)
      (7) straight-faced adj.板起面孔的
      (8) nudist Colony天体营(裸体主义者实行其信条的场所)
      (9) retreating quickly迅速后退。这是一个分词短语作状语,表示伴随状况。


    工作技巧
      在瓦湖岛上度假时,我们坐在旅游车里等候掉队的人。一位男子,明显不是和我们一起的,朝旅游车走来并要上车。司机会怎么处理这种情况呢?我们都拭目以待。司机拉长了脸,向车门靠过去,问道:“先生,是去天体营吗?”
      “哦,不,”刚想乘车的男子回答说,迅速转身而逃。
      “每次都管用,”司机眨巴了一下眼睛说。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-30 21:30:59

    *Story 29*:〈A Bad Doctor〉
      A man walked into a doctor's examining room.
      "Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
      The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
      "0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong with you . You need more exercise."
      "But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"
      " Don't tell me what you think, " the doctor said "I am the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least 20 minutes a day. "
      "Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"
      "I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. If you don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "
      "But I walk every clay," the patient said.
      "Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet from your office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day. "
      Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor who thought he knew everything.
      "I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "
      For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, will you?"

    Notes:
      (1) examining room检查室
      (2) mailman n.邮递员

    庸医
      一人走进一家诊所。
      “伸出舌头,”医生说。
      那人伸出舌头,医生很快地看了一下。
      “好了,把舌头缩回去吧。”医生说,“你的病因很明显。你需要更多的运动。”
      “但是,医生,”那人说,“我不认为----”
      “不要告诉我你认为怎么样,”医生说,“我是医生,不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计的你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分钟。”
      “医生,你不知道,”病人说,“我----”
      “我不想听任何理由。”医生说,“你应该抽出时间来运动。如果你不锻炼,那么当你老的时候,你就会变得很胖,并且有健康问题。”
      “但我每天都走路的,”病人说。
      “喔,是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步。你走几英尺的路,从家到火车站,又走几英尺从车站到办公室,然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆去吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园里散步20分钟。”
      “请听我说,医生!”病人叫起来,对那位自以为什么都知道的医生很生气。
      “我是一名邮递员,”病人接着说,“我每天得走7小时的路。”
      医生闷在那里半天无语。然后他轻声地说:“再把你的舌头伸出来,行吗?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-01-31 21:19:56

    *Story 30*:〈A Woman Who Fell〉
      It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

    Notes:
      (1) rush hour n. (大城市上下班时的)拥挤时刻;高峰时刻
      (2) dash v.猛冲
      (3) terminal n.(铁路、公路的)终点站
      (4) near v.接近;靠近
      (5) plump adj. 圆胖的;丰满的
      (6) sprint v.以全速缩短距离
      (7) momentum n.动量(即物体质量与速度之乘积)
      (8) scramble v.爬
      (9) composure n.泰然自若


    摔倒的女人
      上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她靠近我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-01 21:23:55

    *Story 31*:〈My wife Thinks So〉
      Reading water meters in an unfamiliar part of town, I came upon a house with no number. Then I noticed an elderly man gardening at the first house on that block.
      "Excuse me," I said to him. "Are you Number One?"
      He smiled and replied, "My wife thinks so!"


    Notes:
      (1) water meter n.水表
      (2) unfamiliar adj.不熟悉的
      (3) come upon偶遇(等于come across)
      (4) Number One第一;一号


    我老婆这样认为
      在城区陌生地段查读水表时,我发现一处房子没有门牌号。接着,我看到这个街区的第一幢房子前有一位老人在养花。
      “打扰,”我对他说,“您是第一(号)吗?”
      他笑了,回答说:“我老伴是这样认为的。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-02 21:24:16

    *Story 32*:〈A Plumber〉
      My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber at home. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber be sent. For several days her request was ignored.
      In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come to work in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a. m.


    Notes:
      (1) plumber n.水管修理工
      (2) ignore v.不理;不顾
      (3) desperation n.不顾一切的冒险;拼命
      (4) depart v.离开


    管道修理工
      我女儿朱迪在一家管道公司工作。一日,她发现自己家里需要一个管道修理工。于是,去上班时,她要求派一个管修工到她家里。但一连几天,她的要求都没有得到回应。
      出于无奈,一天下午下班时,她给老板留下这样一张字条:“明早管修工一到我家,我即刻来上班。”第二天早晨还不到七点钟就来了一位管修工。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-03 21:35:01

    *Story 33*:〈A Tough Teacher〉
      A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he was assigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tie flap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through his tie into his chest.
      He had no trouble with discipline that term.


    Notes:
      (1) injure v.伤害
      (2) plaster cast n. 石膏绷带;石膏夹
      (3) assign v.分配;分派
      (4) undisciplined adj.缺乏纪律的
      (5) rowdy adj.粗暴而吵闹的
      (6) breeze n.微风
      (7) flap v.上下或左右移动
      (8) eraser n.黑板擦


    强悍的教师
      我有一位作教师的朋友弄伤了他的背,因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。开学的第一天,他的身上还穿着石膏罩。他被分派教最不守纪律的班级。他很自信地步入乱哄哄的教室,把窗子尽可能大地打开。就在这时,一阵强风把他的领带吹得飘起来。为了固定领带,他拿起黑板擦,把一个大头钉透过领带砸入他的胸膛。
      那学期在他的课上,没有不守纪律的。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-04 19:45:35

    *Story 34*:〈I'm a Police Officer〉
      When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they tore out into the yard.
      Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's all right, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
      "Not a very brave one," she observed.


    Notes:
      (1) guard v.保护;保卫
      (2) ferocious adj.凶猛的;残忍的
      (3) lunge v.冲刺;前冲
      (4) tear v.急奔;冲
      (5) reassure v.消除对……的恐惧;使安心


    我是警察
      在我丈夫杰克还是警察的时候,一次他走近有两只恶狗看守的庭院。那两只狗奋力地扑抓纱门,把门弄开了并冲到院子里。
      杰克反应迅速,三步并两步地跨入房子里,牢牢地关上身后的门。“没事了,女士,”他安慰家主道,“我是警察。”
      “可不是很勇敢的一个。”她淡淡地说。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-05 21:54:14

    *Story 35*:〈A Business Trip〉
      On a business trip to India, a colleague of mine arrived at the airport in Dilhi. He took a taxi to his hotel, where he was greeted by his hospitable Indian host. The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U. S. for the fare, which seemed reasonable, so my friend handed him the money.
      But the host grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge visitors. The host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to return.
      As the taxi sped off, the host gave the remaining bills to my colleague and asked him how his trip had been. "Fine," the business- man replied, "until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."

    Notes:
      (1) colleague n.同事
      (2) hospitable n.好客的
      (3) equivalent n.等值;等量
      (4) initiate v.开始
      (5) verbal n.言辞的
      (6) assault (on/upon) n.猛烈而突然之攻击
      (7) cabby n.出租汽车司机
      (8) parasite n.寄生虫

    出差旅行
      我的一个同事去印度出差。他抵达迪尔黑机场,就搭出租车到宾馆。好客的印度主人在那里迎接他。出租车司机索要相当于八美元的费用。我朋友觉得似乎是合理价格,就把钱给了他。
      但迎客主人一把抓过那钱钞,对出租司机大骂不止,称他是一文不值的寄生虫,并说他企图宰国外来客,真是丢尽了他们国家的面子。他把钱钞的半数扔给司机,告诉他永远别再回来。
      出租司机一踩油门跑掉了。主人把剩下的钱还给我的同事,问他旅途如何。“很好,”这位商人回答,“只是你把出租车赶跑了,我的行李还在车箱里。”

  • 春天原野上的熊

    春天原野上的熊 (北欧,等我) 2012-02-06 00:27:04

    good,here

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-06 21:33:00

    *Story 36*:〈Get a Job〉
       One day shortly after I had come home from college, my father was outside doing yard work. He found a baby bird under a tree and assumed it had fallen from its nest. Wanting to return the tiny creature to its home, my dad went to get a ladder . When he got back, he found another baby bird on the ground.
      Suddenly he heard a loud chirping from above. Looking up, my father saw the mother bird giving a third baby the boot from its nest. With that, Dad walked into our house, took one look at me watching television and barked, "Get a job!"


    Notes:
      (1) assume v.猜测
      (2) chirping n.啁啾声
      (3) give sb the boot开除;赶出
      (4) bark v.咆哮着说出;吼叫


    找个工作
      一天,我刚刚从学院回到家里,我父亲正在院子里面做活。他发现树下有一个雏鸟,猜想可能是从窝里掉下来的。父亲便去搬梯子,他想把这个小东西送回它的家。梯子搬来了,可父亲发现地上又多了一个雏鸟。
      突然他听到树上有大声的唧唧声。父亲抬起头,看见母鸟正在把第三只雏鸟往巢外踢。
      看到这些,父亲走进屋,看了一眼在看电视的我,大声叫道:“找个工作去!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-07 23:31:03

    *Story 37*:〈A Stubborn Horse〉
      The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
      "General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed."
      "Stubborn horse," explained the writer.


    Notes:
      (1) go mad 发疯
      (2) pound v.连续重击;砰砰地打
      (3) pronounce v.宣称;宣布
      (4) psychiatrist n.精神病专家
      (5) leap upon跃上(马)
      (6) thumb through以拇指翻动(书页)
      (7) manuscript n.草稿


    倔强的马
      大作家疯了,但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来,他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于,他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来:
      “杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马,喊道:‘驾,驾,驾,驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾,驾’!”他惊奇地说。
      “是匹倔强的马,”作家解释道。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-08 22:10:42

    *Story 38*:〈Looking for a companion〉
      A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: " I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports and enjoys group activities. "
      Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin. "


    Notes:
      (1) bachelor n.单身汉
      (2) perfect adj.完美的
      (3) mate n.配偶
      (4) cute adj.聪颖的


    找个伴侣
      一个单身汉要电脑为他找个完美的伴侣:“我要找一个娇小可爱的、喜爱水上运动又喜欢群体活动的伴侣。”
      他得到的回答是:“娶一只企鹅吧。”

  • 高言司

    高言司 (hereafter) 2012-02-09 00:32:38

    collect

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-09 22:15:49

    *Story 39*:〈My Roommate〉
      My roommate was interested in a young man in her English-literature class, but she was too shy to let him know. One day she overheard him say he was on his way to the library for a certain book. She rushed to the library, found the book and stuck in it a letter from her mother.
      "Why would he want to read a letter from your mother?" I asked.
      "He wouldn't, but if he's any kind of gentleman, he'll return it to me " Her dorm and room numbers were on the envelope, of course.
      The next day he appeared with the letter and asked my roommate out on a date. "Couldn't fail," she later told me. "The book was Great Expectations.


    Notes:
      (1) overhear v.偶然听到;无意中听到
      (2) on one’s way to在去……的路上
      (3) date n.约会


    我的室友
      我的室友对她英国文学课上的一个年轻人有意思,但又不好意思让他知道。一天,她听到他和别人说要去图书馆借某本书。她冲到图书馆,找到那本书,夹进去她妈妈来的一封信。
      “他为什么会要读你妈妈来的信呢?”我问。
      “他不会读的。但如果他还算是个绅士的话,他会把信还给我的。”当然啦,她的宿舍及房间号码就在信封上。
      第二天,他拿着那封信出现了,并约我室友出去。“错不了的,”她后来对我说,“那本书的书名是《远大前程》。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-10 22:54:20

    *Story 40*:〈The Big Baby〉
      "You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."
      "Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby. "
      "Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.
      "Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
      She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "
      She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
      "You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
      "You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
      The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.
      At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
      Then he started to scream.
      And scream!
      And SCREAM!
      "Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.
      A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
      "I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "
      "Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.


    Notes:
      (1) shopping cart 购物手推车 (3) lose one's temper发脾气
      (2) scream v.尖声叫喊 (4) be patient with有耐性


    大婴儿
      “今天你得照看孩子,”女人对丈夫说,“我身体不舒服。”
      “亲爱的,那你呆在床上休息,”丈夫说,“我很高兴照顾我们的孩子。”
      “谢谢。今天我将清静一下了,我很快就会好点的。”
      “我为你去买东西,好吗?”
      她很高兴地说:“这帮我很大忙呢。我给你列个要买的东西的单子。”
      她列好单子,递给他。
      “在超级市场你能买到这些东西,”她说。
      “你把孩子放在购物手推车里,就不用把孩子留在外面了。”
      男人带着孩子到超市,把他放在推车里。然后推着车子沿着货架走,寻找单子列出的东西。
      开始一切都进行得很顺利,接着孩子开始哭起来。
      然后孩子开始尖声喊叫。
      尖叫。
      又尖叫。
      “保持镇静,乔治,”男人说,“不要冲动。不要喊叫,乔治。不要发脾气,乔治。”
      一个女人在超市听到他说的这些话。她走到他跟前。
      “我觉得你真不错,“她说,”你对你的小乔治真有耐心。”
      “夫人,”男人说,“我是乔治,他是爱德华。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-11 19:58:22

    *Story 41*:〈She Is Left-handed〉
      A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
      "I suppose so-it's paid for."
      "How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
      "I suppose so-it's paid for.
      "What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
      "Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.


    Notes:
      (1) avid adj.热望的
      (2) golfer n.打高尔夫球者
      (3) It's paid for理所当然
      (4) heck(俚语)地狱(用于感叹句中)
      (5) blurt out脱口而出


    她是左撇子
      一对已婚夫妇都热心于打高尔夫球。一天夜里,他们在谈论将来。“亲爱的,”妻子说,“如果我死了,而你再婚,你们两个会住在这个房子里吗?”
      “我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
      “那我们的汽车呢?”妇人继续问道,“你们两个会留着这辆车吗?”
      “我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
      “那我们的球棒呢?你也会让她用吗?”
      “见鬼,不,”丈夫脱口而出,“她是左撇子。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-12 22:54:59

    *Story 42*:〈Ways end Means〉
      A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please," he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without a receipt.
      "Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return and gave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.
      The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " he said. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.
      Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have these altered, please."


    Notes:
      (1) slacks n.宽松的裤子
      (2) receipt n.收据
      (3) process v.处理以保存
      (4) ring up用收银机收钱
      (5) bag v.打包;装入袋中
      (6) triumphantly adv.获胜地;得意洋洋地


    花招
      一位男子把一条宽松裤递给百货商店职员。“我想换一条。”他说。店员向他要售货收据。这位男子翻遍了他的口袋,最后只得说收据丢了。店员告诉他说没有收据不准随意更换,这是商店的规章。
      “那好吧,”这位男子说,“我要把这条裤子退掉。”店员按程序办理了退货手续并把等于裤子价格的现金给了他。
      这位男子把钱从柜台上推回去。“现在我还要这条裤子,”他说。店员用收银机收下了钱,把那条裤子装进包里,并把它们连同收据递给了他。
      这男子终于以胜利者的姿态把裤子和收据放在柜台上,说:“我要把这条裤子换了。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-13 22:25:16

    *Story 43*:〈You Let Me Search Quite〉
      Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
      After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"
      One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
      Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son on the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"


    Notes:
      (1) think of想起
      (2) hearing this听到这话。这是个分词短语,相当于一个表示时间的状语从句,即:When he heard this.



    叫我好找
      古时,有个人记性极差。一天,他带着小儿子出去玩。一高兴,便把小儿子举起来,让他骑在自己的脖子上。
      过了一会儿,他忽然想起儿子来,逢人便问:“你看到我孩子了吗?”
      “哎,你脖子上的那个不是吗?”有个邻居见了大笑。
      这个人一把将小儿子从脖子上揪下来,狠狠地打了一耳光,骂道:“混蛋,叫你别乱跑,刚才你到哪里去了?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-14 22:13:47

    *Story 44*:〈The Long and Short of It〉
      Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .
      "Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
      She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."


    Notes:
      (1) stately adj.高贵的
      (2) leaf through迅速翻阅;浏览
      (3) teen-ager.十几岁的人
      (4) fall in love with爱上;坠入爱河


    来龙去脉
      尽管我从未见过我祖父,但我知道他身高五英尺六,而我高贵的祖母身高五英尺十一。十几岁的时候,我和祖母一起一页一页地翻着老照片,我终于认识到他们在一起是多么不同寻常。
      “奶奶,”我问道,“你怎么会爱上一个比你矮五英寸的人呢?”
      她转过脸来看着我。“宝贝,”她说,“我们是坐着相爱的。当我站起来的时候,已经太晚了。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-15 22:47:35

    *Story 45*:〈The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat〉
      A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
      The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
      "Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
      The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
      "How did you know?"
      The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.


    Notes:
      (1) bureaucrat n.官僚
      (2) come upon偶然遇到
      (3) shepherd n.牧羊人
      (4) take a fancy to sth 喜爱
      (5) astonish v.使惊骇
      (6) pick out挑选
      (7) grudgingly adv.不情愿地
      (8) sling v.用力投掷
      (9) occupation n.职业;工作
      (10) figure v.料想;推断


    牧羊人与官僚
      一位官僚在徒步旅行,这时他看到一个牧羊人在看护一大群羊。这个官僚特别喜欢羊,就问牧羊人:“如果我能猜出有多少只,我能领走一只羊吗?”牧羊人想他不可能猜中准确的数目,就同意了。
      官僚猜道:“你有二百八十七只羊。”牧羊人惊呆了,因为这确是准确的数目。
      “我可以挑一只羊了吧?”官僚问道。牧羊人勉强地答应了。官僚挑了一只羊,把它甩在肩上就往家里扛。
      牧羊人来了主意。“如果我猜中你的身份,”他说,“我可以收回我的羊吗?”官僚甚感惊奇,但考虑到牧羊人猜中的机会很小,就同意了。“你是个官员,”牧羊人猜道。
      官僚一愣,问道:“你怎么知道的?”
      牧羊人回答:“先把我的狗放下,然后我们再说话。”

  • Mr_Homme

    Mr_Homme (簡簡單單~ 開心就好~) 2012-02-15 23:24:36

    M~

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-17 02:39:59

    *Story 46*:〈The Judges Pistol〉
      One day Mel Martin stopped by the chambers of a judge with whom he had lunch appointment. As his friend changed from robe jacket, Martin noticed a shiny black pistol bolstered to the judge's shoulder.
      The judge was not a firearms enthusiast, so Martin asked him why he was carrying it. His friend said that because of recent threats he had borrowed the pistol from the repository of confiscated weapons. Holding it up, the judge said, "I chose this one because it's so mean-looking, yet it hardly weighs a thing. I hope I don't need it, because I don't even know how to load it."
      "It's not hard," Martin said, examining it closely. "We can fill it at the water fountain on the way out."


    Notes:
      (1) chambers n.法官办公室
      (2) robe n.长袍
      (3) shiny n.闪亮的
      (4) holster v.装在皮套里
      (5) repository n.仓库
      (6) confiscated adj.没收的;充公的
      (7) mean-looking adj.吓人的
      (8) load v.装弹于(枪炮)


    法官的手枪
      一天,麦尔·马丁来到一个法官办公室。他跟法官约好了一起吃午餐。当法官换掉长袍时,马丁发现法官肩上绑着一支闪光发亮的手枪。
      法官并不是个武器狂热者,因此马丁问他为什么带上它。他的这位朋友回答说因为近来不断有恐吓发生,所以他从充公武器仓库那里借来一把手枪。法官把枪拿在手里,说:“我选了这把枪是因为它看起来很吓人,却一点也不重。我希望我并不需要它,因为我还不知道怎么装子弹呢。”
      “这并不难,”马丁说,一边仔细检查那支枪,“我们可以在出口的自来水管处装满它。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-17 23:11:57

    *Story 47*:〈A Call from a Frog〉
      A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
      The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
      "No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.


    Notes:
      (1) frog n.青蛙
      (2) psychic n.通灵之人
      (3) semester n.(美国)一个学期
      (4) biology n.生物学


    青蛙的电话
      青蛙拨打通灵热线。电话中说:“你将遇到一位美丽的年轻女子,她要了解你的一切。”
      青蛙说:“这太棒了!我会在舞会上遇见她,还是----?”
      “不,”通灵者说,“是在下个学期她的生物课上。”

  • 子夜蓝

    子夜蓝 (海阔天空) 2012-02-17 23:16:07

    woulderful~~~~~~~

  • matt007

    matt007 2012-02-18 07:45:34

    great do you just update it everyday

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-18 19:53:05

    *Story 48*:〈Wouldn't You Know〉
      I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was an elderly man who studied intently and then said, "Boy."
      Without another word, he got off at his floor. I was about to tell my wife how strange I thought he was acting when suddenly I realized she was wearing a T-shirt sporting the "Guess?" logo.


    Notes:
      (1) accompany v.伴随;陪伴
      (2) pregnant adj.怀孕的
      (3) appropriate adj.适当的
      (4) intently adv.专心地
      (5) T-shirt n.T恤衫
      (6) logo n.标语


    你不要知道吗?
      我陪伴怀孕八个月的妻子去做月查。我们上了医院的电梯去某个楼层,电梯里另外还有的唯一一个乘客是位上了年纪的男子。他专注地看着我妻子,然后说:“男孩。”
      直到他到了自己的楼层,他再也没说话。我刚要告诉妻子那位男子是多么的奇怪,这时,我突然意识到她穿着一件T恤运动衫,上面写着“猜猜看?”的标语。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-19 23:17:10

    *Story 49*:〈The Very Last Birthday〉
      When I was approaching 50, I announced to my three grown children that I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday and that they could phone me instead of sending a gift. At first they protested, but finally they agreed to go along with my wish. So when the doorbell rang on the morning of my birthday, I was surprised to see the florist delivering a huge, beautiful plant. Suddenly, without a word, she rushed back to the truck and , with a sad look, turned once to glance at me. Puzzled, I read the card attached to the plant: "To Mom-with lots of love-on your very last birthday.


    Notes:
      (1) approach v. 接近
      (2) protest v.反对
      (3) go along with 同意
      (4) florist n.花商;经营花卉业者
      (5) glance at瞥视;匆匆一看
      (6) attach v.附上;系上


    最后的生日
      接近五十岁的时候,我对我的三个成年孩子宣布说我不再想庆祝我的生日,并说他们可以给我打电话,不要再送礼物。开始他们反对,但终于他们同意随我愿。所以我生日那天早上门铃响的时候,我惊奇地发现花店营业员送来一束又大又美的鲜花。突然她一声不响地跑回到车上,并回过头来悲哀地看了我一眼。我感到纳闷,我看了一下花上的卡片,上面写着:“献给妈妈----无尽的爱----在您最后的生日里。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-20 23:25:16

    *Story 50*:〈Good Thing He Has You〉
      While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "


    Notes:
      (1) remark v. 谈起
      (2) concentrate v. 集中注意力于;专心于


    有你教他真好
      在我和一位三年级学生的母亲交谈时,另一位老师从旁边走过。那位母亲评论说那女教师真美,她说:“如果由她教我儿子的话,他一定不能认真听课的。”她停顿了一下,又加了一句:“有你教他真好。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-21 20:47:44

    *Story 51*:〈Do Me a Favor〉
      The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs, so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I'd brought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls, and at one point he stopped and looked at me . "Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in? That way it won't look as if you've been here all day."


    Notes:
      (1) mechanic n.汽车修理师
      (2) settle down安适地坐下或躺
      (3) do sb a favor帮助某人
      (4) flip v.以指捻


    请帮个忙
      我把车拖去修理,机械师很忙。所以我就坐在接待室,拿出我随身带来的书读,机械师出出进进地打招呼。有一次,他停下来看了看我说:“你能帮我个忙吗?有人进来时,把书翻回几页行吗?那样的话,就不会看上去你在这儿呆了一整天了。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-22 22:50:11

    *Story 52*:〈Point of No Return〉
      My husband ordered home delivery of our local newspaper. Because we live in rural area where no street numbers are used, I was concerned that the carrier would have trouble finding us. Sure enough, we missed delivery several days despite frequent calls to the circulation department. Finally I phoned to cancel the subscription. "You'll have to tell me your exact location," the woman on the line said. "We can't cancel the subscription unless we know where you live.


    Notes:
      (1) delivery n.递送
      (2) rural area乡村
      (3) concerned adj.焦虑的;担心的
      (4) have trouble doing sth做某事有麻烦
      (5) despite prep.不管;不顾
      (6) frequent adj.时常发生的;惯常的
      (7) circulation n.发行
      (8) subscription n.订阅


    有去无回
      我丈夫预订了当地报纸的户送。因为我们住在乡下,没有街道号码,所以我担心送报员不易找到我们。果真如此,一连几天都没有报纸送来,尽管我们频繁地往发行部打电话询问。最后我打电话取消订阅协议。“您得告诉我们您的准确位置,”电话中女子说,“除非我们知道您住在哪里,否则我们不能取消订阅协议。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-23 23:18:29

    *Story 53*:〈The Story of a Snail〉
      When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle. Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident.
      "I really can't remember," the snail replied. "You see, it all happened so fast."


    Notes:
      (1) snail n.蜗牛
      (2) run over碾过(在地上的某人或某物)
      (3) regain v.恢复
      (4) consciousness n.知觉
      (5) emergency n.紧急事件;紧急情况


    蜗牛的故事
      一个蜗牛过马路,被一个乌龟从身上碾过。在急救室里它恢复了知觉,有的人问它事故是怎样发生的。
      “我记不起来了,”蜗牛回答说,“你瞧,一切发生得都太快了。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-24 22:56:36

    *Story 54*:〈Not Here〉
      Kathy and Polly were friends but they liked playing tricks on each other
      One day Kathy met Polly in the street. She said, "Hi, Polly. It's good to see you."
      "How can you see me when I'm not here?" Polly asked.
      "What do you mean, you' re not here?" Kathy asked. "Of course you 're here."
      "No, I'm not." Polly said. "and I'll bet you ten dollars that I can prove I'm not here."
      "Alright," said Kathy. "Ten dollars. Now prove you' re not here ."
      "Easy," Polly said, "Am I in Hong Kong?"
      "No," said Kathy.
      "Am I in Paris?"
      "No," said Kathy.
      "If I'm not in Hong Kong and I'm not in Paris," Polly said, " then I must be somewhere else. Right?"
      "Right," said Kathy. "You must be somewhere else."
      "Exactly." said Polly. "And if I'm somewhere else I can't be here, can I? Ten dollars, please. "
      "That's very clever, Polly," Kathy said, "but I can't give you ten dollars."
      "Why not?" asked Polly. "We had a bet.
      "Certainly we had a bet," Kathy said, "but how can I give you ten dollars if you're not here?"
      And with a laugh she walked away.


    Notes:
      (1) trick n.恶作剧
      (2) play a trick on sb.开玩笑;戏谑某人
      (3) prove v.证明
      (4) Hong Kong香港
      (5) Paris巴黎(法国首都)

    不在这里
      凯斯和波丽是朋友,但她们总爱开对方的玩笑。
      一天凯斯在街上遇见了波丽。她说,“喂、波丽,很高兴见到你。”
      “我不在这里,你怎能看到我呢?”波丽说。
      “你说你不在这里,这是什么意思?”凯斯问,“当然,你在这里。”
      “不,我不在这里。”波丽说,“我将和你打10美元的赌,赌我能证明我不在这里。”
      “行,”凯斯说,“10美元。现在证明你不在这里吧。”
      “这很容易,”波丽说,“我在香港吗?”
      “不在,”凯斯说。
      “我在巴黎吧?”
      “如果我既不在香港也不在巴黎,”波丽说,“那我一定在别的地方。对不对?”
      “对,”凯斯说,“你一定在别处。”
      “确实如此,”波丽说,“既然我在别处,那我一定不在这里,不是吗?请给10美元吧。”
      “真聪明,波丽。”凯斯说,“但我不能给你10美元。”
      “为什么不给?”波丽问,“我们打过赌的。”
      “不错,我们打过赌。”凯斯说,“但既然你不在这里,我怎么能给你10美元呢?”
      说完她笑着离开了。

  • lakhi

    lakhi (请不要假装对我好,我很傻会当真) 2012-02-25 00:12:40

    thank you

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-25 23:11:21

    You are welcome.

    *Story 55*:〈A Midshipman〉
      One of my fellow midshipmen at the U. S. Naval Academy was performing poorly in class and reported to his company officer for counseling., "Your marks are deplorable!" the officer scolded. "Is there a problem-that has kept you from studies?"
      "No, sir," the midshipman replied. "I have no idea what the problem is. I study the notes I take, and I'm never late to class. I don't even talk in class, but for some reason my professors don't seem to like me.
      The officer sat back and thought. Then he asked, "Do you get enough sleep?"
      My classmate replied, "Sir, do you mean at night or in class?"


    Notes:
      (1) midshipman n.海军军官候补生
      (2) the U.S.Naval Academy美国海军学院
      (3) perform v.执行;履行
      (4) company n.连(队)
      (5) counsel v.建议;劝告
      (6) deplorable adj.可悲的;可怜的
      (7) scold v.指责;责备


    海军军官候补生
      我们在美国海军学院军官候补生中有一个同伴,他的学业很差。他到连队军官那儿寻求安慰。“你的成绩糟透了,”军官责备他说,“是否你的学习中存在什么问题?”
      “没有哇,先生,”候补生回答说,“我搞不清楚是什么问题。我读我的笔记,上课从不迟到。甚至上课从不讲话,但不知怎么搞的,教授们好像都不喜欢我。”
      军官向后一靠,想了想。然后问道:“你睡眠充足吗?”
      我同学回答说:“先生,你说的是夜里还是课堂上?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-26 23:23:48

    *Story 56*:〈Thats What They All Say〉
      While sitting on the bleachers during my youngest son's baseball game, I overheard another mother talking about her three-year-old daughter, who was playing with a neighbor's boy. The little girl kept saying to the boy, "Marry me. Marry me." The little boy innocently replied, "I want to play first."
      At this, the mother turned to all of the parents on the bleachers and announced, "That's what they all say!"


    Notes:
      (1) bleachers n.(美)运动场的露天看台
      (2) baseball n.棒球
      (3) keep doing不停地做
      (4) innocently adv.天真无邪地


    他们都是这么说的
      我最小的儿子在参加棒球比赛,我坐在露天座位上观看。我听到另一位母亲在讲她的三岁的女儿。她女儿和邻居家的一个男孩玩耍。小姑娘不停地对男孩说:“娶我,娶我。”而那个男孩总天真无邪地说:“我想先玩球。”
      说着,这位母亲转向所有坐在座位上的父母亲,大声地说:“他们都是这么说的!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-27 21:21:29

    *Story 57*:〈The Mistaken Father〉
      The morning following the birth of our first child, my husband was mistakenly directed to the room of another new mother on the maternity floor. As he walked into the room, he bent over the nap- ping mother, whose back was turned to him, and gave her a big kiss. The woman was startled to see a stranger. But before she could say anything, my husband smiled and said, "I didn't know having a baby would change you this much!"


    Notes:
      (1) mistaken adj.弄错了的 (4) nap v.小睡;打盹
      (2) direct v.批示方向;指点 (5) startle v.使惊奇
      (3) maternity n.(医院)产科病房


    糊涂父亲
      我们孩子出世的那天早晨,我丈夫由于受误导跑到了产科病区的另一位产妇那里。他弯下腰,给了那位正背对着他小睡的产妇一个长吻。那位产妇发现是位陌生人,惊跳起来。但她还没来得及张口,我丈夫便微笑着说:“真想不到生个孩子能使你变化如此之大!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-02-29 22:44:27

    *Story 58*:〈This Hole in the Ground〉
      There was once a farmer who lived near a road.
      It was not a busy road, but from time to time, cars passed the farm.
      Near the farm gate, there was a large hole in the road.
      This hole was always full of water, and the drivers of the cars could not see how deep the hole was. They thought it was probably shallow.
      Then when they drove into the hole, they could not drive out because it was so deep .
      The farmer did not spend much time working on his farm. He spent most of it watching the hole.
      When a car drove into it, he pulled the car out with his tractor and charged the driver a lot of money for doing this.
      One day, the driver of a car said to him, "You must make a lot of money pulling cars out of this hole night and day."
      "Oh, no, " the farmer said." I don' t pull cars out of the hole at night. At night I fill the hole with water."


    Notes:
      (1) from time to time偶尔
      (2) tractor n. 拖拉机
      (3) charge v.收费;要价


    地坑
      从前,有个农夫住在马路边上。
      这不是个繁忙的路段,偶尔有汽车从农场路过。
      就在农场大门的旁边,路当中有个大坑。
      坑里总是充满了水,汽车司机根本看不出坑有多深。他们会以为很浅。
      司机们一旦把车开进坑里,就别想再开出来,因为坑太深了。
      农夫也不怎么在农场里干活,大部分时间他都在注视着这个坑。
      当一个汽车开进坑里,他就用他的拖拉机把它拉上来,然后为此向司机索要很多钱。
      一天,一位汽车司机对他说:“你日日夜夜把汽车往外拉,肯定挣了很多钱。”
      “哦,不,”农夫说,“我夜里不干这活儿,夜里我得朝这坑里注水。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-01 21:54:27

    *Story 59*:〈A Prospective Horse Buyer〉
      Then there was the preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was impressed with the animal, but the preacher said, " I must warn you-he only responds to 'church talk'. Go is 'Praise the Lord', and stop is 'Hallelujah"'.
      "I've worked with horses all my life," said the buyer, "and I've never heard of anything like this." Mounting the horse, he said skeptically, " Praise the Lord." The horse began to trot. He repeated "Praise the Lord" and the horse broke into a gallop. Suddenly the buyer saw a cliff dead ahead. Frantic, he yelled "Hallelujah", and they came to a stop a foot from the edge.
      Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"


    Notes:
      (1) prospective adj.预期的;可能的
      (2) preacher n.传教者
      (3) impress v.给予强烈影响;留下深刻印象
      (4) respond v.有反应
      (5) Praise the Lord感谢上帝
      (6) Hallelujah哈里路亚(赞美上帝之语)
      (7) skeptically adv.怀疑地
      (8) trot v.小跑
      (9) gallop n.疾驰;飞奔
      (10) dead adv.完全地;绝对地
      (11) dead ahead正前方


    欲买马之人
      传教士决定卖掉他的马。一位欲买马之人看中了这匹马,但传教士说:“我必须警告你----他只懂‘教堂语言’。走是‘感谢上帝’,停是‘哈里路亚’。”
      “我一生都在同马打交道,”买马之人说,“这样的事我还是头一次听到。”他跨上马,将信将疑地说:“感谢上帝。”马开始小跑。他重复说“感谢上帝”,马开始飞奔起来。突然买马者看到前面是一个悬崖。他吓坏了,匆忙喊道:“哈里路亚。”他们在离悬崖只有一英尺的地方停了下来。
      买马之人擦了擦额头上的汗珠,说道:“感谢上帝!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-02 23:10:28

    *Story 60*:〈Bad Business〉
      A salesman was chatting with the owner of a motel."Business is terrible," said the motel owner. 'Really bad."
      "But every time I drive by here you have the 'no vacancy' sign on. " said the salesman.
      "That's true," replied the motel owner. "But I used to turn away 30 to 35 people a night. Now, I only turn away ten to 15."


    Notes:
      (1) motel n.汽车旅馆
      (2) vacancy n.空缺
    (3) turn away n.谢绝


    生意不好
      一个商人在和汽车旅馆的主人闲聊。“生意太糟了,”旅馆主人说,“真的太糟了。
      “可是每次我驾车经过这儿,你都挂上了‘客满’的牌子,”商人说。
      “那倒是真的。”旅馆主人答道,“可是过去我一夜就谢绝三十至三十五人,而如今只能谢绝十至十五人。”

  • 北冥木木木有鱼

    北冥木木木有鱼 2012-03-03 10:21:48

    HI! I will be a silk thread of your beauty of the robe,LZ!Come on...so kind of you.

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-03 22:54:07

    I feel highly honored by your trust.

    *Story 61*:〈The Cheater〉
      Donald was not very good at math.
      He could not understand the teacher's explanations.
      Even when the teacher explained something a second time, Donald still could not understand it.
      "Never mind," Donald told himself. "I'm quite good at other subjects. I'll cheat in the math exam, then I won't be in trouble."
      "I'll sit next to the boy who's best at math, he thought, "and copy down his answers."
      The day of the exam came, and Donald sat next to Brian Smith, who always was at the top of the class in math.
      Donald carefully copied Brian's answers on to his own exam paper.
      At the end of the exam, the teacher colllected the papers and graded them.
      Then she said, "Well, boys and girls, I've decided to give a prize to the student who got the highest grade. It's difficult for me to decide who to give the prize to, however, because two students, Donald and Brian, got the same grade.
      "Let them share it," one of the other students said.
      "I've thought about that," the teacher said, "but I've decided to give the prize to Brian."
      Donald was angry when he heard this.
      He stood up and said, "That's not fair. I got the same grade as Brian. "
      "That's true," the teacher said. "However, Brian's answer to Question 18 was 'I don't know'. Yours was 'Neither do I'."


    Notes:
      (1) be good at擅长
      (2) cheat v.作弊
      (3) be in trouble有麻烦
      (4) grade v.打分;分等


    作弊者
      多纳尔德数学不太好。
      他听不懂老师的讲解。
      即使解释第二遍,他也听不懂。
      “不要紧,”多纳尔德安慰自己,“我别的科目很好。我要在数学考试中作弊,那么我就不会有麻烦了。”
      “我将坐在数学最好的同学旁边,”他想,“并抄下他的答案。”
      考试那一天到来了,多纳尔德坐在布思·史密斯的旁边。
      布恩是班里数学学得最好的学生。
      多纳尔德仔细地把布恩的答案抄下来。
      考试结束后,老师把卷子收上去,开始判分。
      判完后,她说:“好,同学们,我已决定给得最高分的同学奖励。然而我不知该奖励哪一个,因为两个学生,多纳尔德和布恩,都得了一样的分数。”
      “让他们两个都得奖励吧,”一个学生说。
      “我想过这样办,”老师说,“但我打算奖励布恩。”
      多纳尔德听到这话非常生气。
      他站起来说:“这不公平。我和他得的分数是一样的。”
      “是这样的,”老师说,“然而,布恩的第18题的答案是‘我不知道’。你的是‘我也不知道’。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-04 23:43:35

    *Story 62*:〈Which One to Call Back〉
      After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitated some hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting, my wife answered the phone.
      "Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.
      When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a name and number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "
      My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your name and number, he won't know which one to call back


    Notes:
      (1) take office 任职
      (2) precipitate v.使突然发生
      (3) conduct v.主持
      (4) confidential adj.保密的
      (5) ruse n.欺诈


    给哪一个回电话
      我上任为肯塔基州的一个小城的市长后,发生了一件不幸的事,从而招致了一些可恨的电话打到我家里。一天夜里,我还在主持市政会议,我妻子接到了一个电话。
      “是伯特·麦因、市长的家吗?”一个女人的声音问道。
      我妻子向她解释说我还在开会,如果她留下姓名和电话号码的话,我会给她回话。通话人马上说:“这个保密。我是他的女朋友。”
      我妻子知道这完全是欺诈。她镇静地回答说:“女士,如果你不留下姓名和号码的话,他就不会知道给哪一个回话。”

  • titus

    titus (gibtab) 2012-03-05 21:24:25

    : D

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-05 23:23:08

    *Story 63*:〈Boy, Oh Boy〉
      When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
      As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "


    Notes:
      (1) tend to(do)倾向;趋向
      (2) mayhem n.大混乱;大灾害
      (3) put one's foot down开始抗议
      (4) sternly adv.严厉地
      (5) whine v.哭闹
      (6) tease v.取笑
      (7) tattle v.扯淡


    让人无奈的孩子
      我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候,总要招来大乱。一个星期六,我开始抗议了。“好啦,你们两个,”我严厉地说,“不许叫喊,不许乱拿,不许哭闹,不许乱敲,不许取笑,不许扯淡,不许弄坏玩具,不许乱抓,不许打架。”
      我刚转身要走,就听我儿子说:“来,斯蒂文,我们来把自己弄脏吧。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-06 22:45:26

    *Story 64*:〈I Can't Let Him Get Away〉
      A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
      The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
      "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.


    Notes:
      (1) crab n.螃蟹
      (2) sideways adv.侧着;斜着


    不能让他跑了
      一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
      第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
      “哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-07 23:16:41

    *Story 65*:〈A Hasty Interruption〉
      The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "
      Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"


    Notes:
      (1) replace v.更换;替换
      (2) purchase v.购买
      (3) assure v.有信心地说
      (4) seek v.寻求
      (5) assistance n.帮助


    匆忙的打断
      我所工作的精品商店是从二十年代以来就营业的。最近我接到一个妇女的电话。她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。这套餐具她是在三十年代从我们这儿买的。我向她保证说我们可以帮忙并向部门经理提了出来。“你永远也不会相信,”我对他说,“我刚接到一个顾客的电话,她在三十年代从我们这里买了一些椅子。”
      我还没来得及说她的要求,经理就打断了我的话:“不要告诉我她到现在还没收到货!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-08 23:11:49

    *Story 66*:〈A Small Surprise〉
      When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"
      "Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.
      "Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.
      "Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"


    Notes:
      (1) the facts of life(口,委婉语)性知识(例如讲给孩子们听的)
      (2) check out挑选出;筛选出
      (3) stumble v.结结巴巴地说话


    小小的意外
      当妻子要生第三胎时,父亲决定给分别已七岁和九岁的两个儿子讲关于性的知识。他从图书馆查出几本书,都是关于父母如何涉及这个话题的。在结结巴巴地解释一番后,他长出了一口气,然后说:“好了,孩子们,有什么问题吗?”
      “有,”小儿子立即回答。
      “问吧,”爸爸说,心提到了嗓子眼儿。
      “我们,”儿子问道,“可以得到新棒球手套了吗?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-09 23:33:36

    *Story 67*:〈The Cat and the Saucer〉
      An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: "
      "Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "
      "The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.
      "Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "
      "Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"


    Notes:
      (1) saucer n.托盘
      (2) antique n.古董
      (3) lick v.舔
      (4) urge v.力劝;敦促
      (5) throw in 额外赠送


    猫与托盘
      一个古董收集者正路过一个小店。他发现店前人行道上一只猫在舔一个托盘上的牛奶。这个人立刻意识到这个托盘是个值钱的古物。他带着一种毫无兴趣的表情步入店内,要买那只猫。“对不起,”店主说,“这只猫是不卖的。”
      “卖给我吧,”收集者敦促道,“我家里面需要一只猫来捉老鼠。我给你20元。”
      “猫归你了,”店主接过钱说道。
      “还有,”收集者补充道,“我想你是否能把那只旧盘子也额外赠送给我。猫好像很喜欢它。我不愿意看到它失去这东西。”
      “对不起,”店主回答说,“但那只托盘能给我带来好运。你不知道,光这一周,我就卖掉68只猫!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-10 22:13:47

    *Story 68*:〈Long Life〉
      A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
      Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
      Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
      "And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."
       "And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."
      Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
      One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"
      Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "
      "Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "
      The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"
      “Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."


    Notes:
      (1) fair n.集市
      (2) charge v.收钱;要价
      (3) look as if看上去


    长生不老
      一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
      很多人想买药,那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中,一边收钱,一边递药。
      然后当围观的人多起来时,那人举起一个小瓶子。
      “听着,女士们,先生们,”那人喊道,“这就是你们一直想要的药。
      消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶,就会长生不老。”
      “女士们,先生们,”那人接着说道,“对这种神奇的药,我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元,我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧,朋友们,只花10美元,你们就能长生不老。”
      人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
      一人喊道:“如果这药能使人长生不老,你为什么不吃?”
      接着另一人叫道:“是哇,你看上去至少60岁。”
      “谢谢,先生,谢谢,”那人回答,“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
      听到他的话,人群中发出一阵笑声,但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她,“他已329岁了,这是真的吗?”他问。
      “别问我,”助手说,“我只为他工作了150年。”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-11 23:42:56

    *Story 69*:〈Diet Tribe〉
      Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. "What does she look like?" the clerk asked.
      My husband said simply, "She just lost ten pounds.
      "Third door on the left." the woman replied with a smile.


    Notes:
      (1) drop sb off将某人送到(某处)
      (2) lingerie n.女内衣
      (3) fitting room试衣室


    节食族
      妈妈为她减肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我们小两口一起去商场的路上,她别无所谈。我们把她送到女内衣部,在那儿分手,但当我们回来找她时,却找不见她。我想她也许会在试衣室,就问售货员是否见过我母亲。“她长得什么样?”这位职员问。
      我丈夫直截了当地说:“她刚减了十磅。”
      “左边第三个门,”女售货员笑眯眯地回答。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-12 23:20:10

    *Story 70*:〈Stunning Reply〉
      My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?"
      He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"


    Notes:
      (1) pick up捡起;拾起
      (2) chore n.杂务;不愉快的工作
      (3) exasperated adj.愤怒的;恼火的


    出色的回答
      我在准备晚饭的时候,我叫年仅五岁的儿子把玩具都收拾起来。当我问他为什么没做他的差事时,他说他不想做。我感到有些恼火,就对他说:“要是我说我不想做晚饭,这时你会在哪里呢?”
      他略加思索便回答说:“在饭店里?”

  • 独苗一根

    独苗一根 2012-03-12 23:22:47

    真好

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-13 23:49:23

    *Story 71*:〈Senior Class〉
      During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
      When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!"


    Notes:
      (1) periodic adj.定期的
      (2) bend down弯腰


    年长者阶层
      医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴,为此,他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日,并要求她还他一个吻。
      医生走后,我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗,”她说,“付了他70元,我还得亲他!”

  • elephant

    elephant (生而为人,不出去走走,岂不白活) 2012-03-14 08:29:29

    每天背几篇,已经背到15篇 3Q lz

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-14 23:32:08

    Don't mention it. It's my pleasure.

    *Story 72*:〈The Young Man at the Wheel〉
      My infant daughter began crying as I drove home from the store, and since she was harnessed to her safety seat in the back, I couldn't console her. Stopping for a red light, I turned around and waved my hands, calling her name to distract her. I gave her my biggest smile and blew her a kiss. The sound of a horn from the car behind us prompted me to look up. The young man at the wheel was smiling broadly .He waved and then blew me a kiss.


    Notes:
      (1) harness (to)v.系于;绑于He is harnessed to his job. 他工作脱不开身。
      (2) console v.给予安慰或同情
      (3) distract v.转移注意力;使分心
      (4) prompt v.驱使
      (5) the man at the wheel驾驶员
      (6) broadly adv.咧嘴地

    驾车的小伙子
      从商场开车回家的路上,我的小宝贝女儿开始哭闹起来。由于她被套在后面的安全座里,所以我无法安慰她。红灯停车的时候,我转过身来,对她摆手,叫她的名字来引她。我给她以满脸笑容,并给她一个飞吻。从我们车后传来的喇叭声立刻使我抬头望去。驾车的小伙子正对我咧着大嘴笑。他向我摆手并给了我一个飞吻。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-15 18:07:36

    *Story 73*:〈What Went Wrong?〉
      A Japanese company and an American company had a boat race, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans hired analysts to figure out what went wrong. They reported that the Japanese had one person managing and seven rowing, while the Americans had seven managing and only one rowing. The American company immediately restructured its team. Now they had one senior manager, six management consultants and one rower.
      In the rematch the Japanese won by two miles. So the American company fired the rower.


    Notes:
      (1) analyst n.分析家
      (2) figure out 想出;演算出
      (3) restructure v.重组
      (4) consultant n.顾问


    问题出在哪里
      一家日本公司和一家美国公司进行了一场划船比赛。日本队赢了一英里。美国人便请来了分析家探讨问题出在哪里。他们的报告说日本队有一人掌舵七人划桨,而美国队是七人掌舵一人划桨。美国公司立刻对队伍进行了重组。这次他们有一个高级舵手、六个舵手顾问、一个划桨员。
      在第二次比赛中,日本队赢了两英里。因此,美国公司解雇了划桨员。

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-16 18:18:54

    *Story 74*:〈You Never Called〉
      A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, "Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. "
      "I didn't?" the doctor says." Then what are you doing out of bed?"


    Notes:
      (1) spot v.(从很多人或物中)认出;看出
      (2) mall n.集市


    从未来访
      一人在购物中心偶遇他的医生。他走上前去说:“六周以前我在你的办公室,你告诉我让我回家去卧床直到你来访。但你从未来访。”
      “我没去吗?”医生说,“那你现在下床干什么?”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-17 23:07:17

    *Story 75*:〈A Vacation Cruise〉
      One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the same treatment
      Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "I wonder if they're serving any food on this cruise."
      "I don' t know, the second guy replied. "They didn't last year."


    Notes:
      (1) cruise n.乘船巡游;巡航
      (2) sign up签约
      (3) bet n.棒
      (4) unconscious adj.没有知觉的;不省人事的


    假日巡航游
      一愚笨之人读到一则假日巡航游只须花100元的广告。在他签了字付了款后,旅游经纪人用棒猛击了他一下,把他打昏了过去,并把他从后门扔进了河里。不久又来了一个人,付了钱并得到了相同的待遇。
      十五分钟后,这两个人一起向河的下游漂去。第一个人说:“不知道他们这次巡航游是否提供食物。”
      “不知道,”第二个人说道,“去年是没有的。”

  • 冰

    (我就喜欢) 2012-03-18 10:37:44

    you did a good job.thank you sincerely

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-18 18:26:35

    Thank you. Good luck!

    *Story 76*:〈This Way to Request〉
      I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.
      "Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this. "


    Notes:
      (1) dislocate v.脱离原位;使脱臼
      (2) signature n.签名
      (3) due to由于
      (4) honor v.承认并如期支付


    如是请求
      我摔倒了,肘骨脱臼了。这使得我几乎不能给我的小生意签账单了。我打电话给银行解释说由于事故,账单上我的签名看起来会有些古怪,并请求他们无论如何给予承兑。
      “好的,”电话中的女子说,“但你必须给银行写封信,告诉他们你在作此项请求。”

  • REN

    REN 2012-03-19 11:59:11

    welll,excuse me ,could you please inteoduce youself?er```

  • REN

    REN 2012-03-19 12:00:24

    i'am curious about how can you speak english so well?

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-19 22:44:46

    I am a hiker on the voyage of life who enjoy sports and English. I am doing a job as an editor. Thanks for your compliment. My English leaves a lot to be desired. I consider interest is the best teacher and diligence is the key to success.

    *Story 77*:〈The Problem of Two Flounders〉
      Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."
      "Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.
      "No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.
      The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.
      "Dear, " he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"

    Notes:
      (1) inveterate adj.(指习惯、感情)根深蒂固的;由来已久的
      (2) exaggerate v.夸张;夸大
      (3) flounder n.比目鱼
      (4) figure out想出;理解
      (5) ostentatious adj.炫耀的;卖弄的
      (6) rack one's brain绞尽脑汁
      (7) be seated就座
      (8) stride v.大步走
      (9) platter n.
      (10) dismay n.惊慌
      (11) brush oneself off摆脱窘境

    两个比目鱼问题
      西蒙是个老练的渔夫。人们都熟知他爱吹嘘“跑掉的那条”鱼的尺寸。但有一天他确实抓了两条极大的比目鱼。他立刻邀请几个朋友过来吃饭,然后着力搞清楚怎样上鱼。“如果两条一起上,”他对妻子说,“好像有点炫耀之嫌了。”
      “何不两条鱼各上一块呢?”他妻子建议道。
      “不行,如果把两条鱼都切碎了,就不会有人相信我抓了两条大比目鱼了。”西蒙绞尽了脑汁,终于想出了一个好办法。
      客人已在餐桌边就座完毕,这时主人大步地走进来,手里端着一个托盘,托盘上是一个他们所见过的最大的比目鱼。突然西蒙被什么东西绊了一下摔倒了。所有的人都惊慌地叫了起来,因为鱼在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地摆脱了窘境。
      “亲爱的,”他对妻子喊道,“把另一条鱼端上来!”

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-20 23:53:44

    *Story 78*:〈At the Supermarket〉
       At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."

    Notes:
      (1) aisle n.超市中两个货架之间的走道
      (2) dairy n.售牛奶、奶油、鸡蛋的柜台、商店
      (3) check out(超市上)付款离开

    在超级市场

      在超市我注意到一位上了年纪的男子好像总在跟着我。我每到一个售货通道,他就跟我到一个售货通道,微笑地看着我。我开始想他是不是喜欢上我了。在乳品柜,我正给鸡蛋包装结账时,有人在我肩上轻拍了一下。我转过身发现还是那个男子。“女士,”他终于开口说话了,“你用着我的采货车呢。”

  • 冰

    (我就喜欢) 2012-03-21 06:50:02

    每天都要来读一读,O(∩_∩)O

  • hiker

    hiker (kindness doubles happiness. :) 2012-03-22 09:31:24

    Thanks for your focus.

    *Story 79*:〈In the air〉
      Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
      "Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
      Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but we won't buy anything. "
      They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt's wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
      Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
      "Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
      Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn't want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
      "I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn't scream or shout, she can have a free flight."
      Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
      The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
      When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can have her ride free."
      "Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

    Notes:
      (1) stingy adj.吝啬
      (2) hate(doing)讨厌(做)
      (3) free adj.免费的
      (4) make a bargain with sb 达成协议;做成交易
      (5) upsidedown 倒转地;倒置地

    在空中
      麦特和妻子住在乡下。麦特很吝啬,讨厌花钱。一天,附近的镇子逢集。
      “我们去赶集,麦特,”妻子说。“我们很久没出去了。”
      麦特想了一会儿。他知道在集市上一定得花钱。最后他说:“好吧,但我不打算花太多钱。我们只看不买。”
      他们去集市,看看所有可买的东西。有很多东西麦特的妻子想买,但麦特不让她买。
      然后在附近的露天场地,他们看到一架小飞机。
      “有趣的飞行。”海报上写着,“10分钟10美元。”
      麦特从来没有乘过飞机,所以他想乘一次小飞机。然而他不想付他妻子的票钱。
      “我只带了10美元,”他对飞机驾驶员说,“我妻子能免费和我一起乘飞机吗?”驾驶员没卖出多少票,所以他说:“我和你做个交易。如果你妻子不尖叫,也不叫出声来,她就能免费飞行。”
      麦特同意了,他和妻子一起登上了飞机。
      飞机起飞了,驾驶员让飞机做出各种各样的动作。有一会儿飞机倒着飞行。
      飞机着陆时,驾驶员说,“好吧,你妻子没发出任何声响。她就不用买飞机票了。”

  • 冰

    (我就喜欢) 2012-03-22 09:59:52

    未完成?

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