【伍迪·艾伦】哈西德教派故事选

GE08-Hassidic Tales, with a Guide to Their Interpretation by the Noted Scholar
㊣18哈西德教派故事选（附著名学者对其阐释的指南）

A MAN journeyed to Chelm in order to seek the advice of Rabbi Ben Kaddish, the holiest of all ninth-century rabbis and perhaps the greatest noodge of the medieval era.
有个人跋涉到切尔姆，目的是向本·卡迪什拉比请教，这位拉比是九世纪所有拉比中地位最高的，但也有可能是中世纪的头号闷蛋。

"Rabbi," the man asked, "where can I find peace?"
“拉比”，这个人说，“我去哪儿能找到平和？”

The Hassid surveyed him and said, "Quick, look behind you!"
这位哈西德派拉比仔细打量了他一番，然后说：“快，看你后边！”

The man turned around, and Rabbi Ben Kaddish smashed him in the back of the head with a candlestick. "Is that peaceful enough for you?" he chuckled, adjusting his yarmulke.
此人转过身，本·卡迪什拉比用一根蜡烛打了他的后脑勺。“这对你来说够平和吗？”他吃吃笑起来，一边扶好他的圆顶小帽。


In this tale, a meaningless question is asked. Not only is the question meaningless but so is the man who journeys to Chelm to ask it. Not that he was so far away from Chelm to begin with, but why shouldn't he stay where he is? Why is he bothering Rabbi Ben Kaddish--the Rabbi doesn't have enough trouble? The truth is, the Rabbi's in over his head with gamblers, and he has also been named in a paternity case by a Mrs. Hecht. No, the point of this tale is that this man has nothing better to do with his time than journey around and get on people's nerves. For this, the Rabbi bashes his head in, which, according to the Torah, is one of the most subtle methods of showing concern. In a similar version of this tale, the Rabbi leaps on top of the man in a frenzy and carves the story of Ruth on his nose with a stylus.
本故事中，问到了一个无意义的问题。不只问题无意义，那人跋涉到切尔姆就为问这个问题也毫无意义。不单是他离切尔姆那么远却要这样做，而且他干吗不待在原来的地方？干吗他要麻烦本·卡迪什拉比——难道这位拉比烦心的事还不够多吗？事实上，拉比当时正被几个赌徒搞得焦头烂额，并在一位海彻特太太提出的确认父子关系的官司中当了被告。不，本故事的寓意，是此人跋涉到切尔姆惹别人烦，纯属吃饱了撑的。所以，拉比打了他的头，根据《律法书》，这是所有表示关心的方法中最微妙的一种。在与此故事类似的一个版本中，拉比暴怒之下，将那人扑倒在地，并用铁笔在他鼻子上刻了路得的故事。

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Rabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi with a long beard, who was said to have inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor. One of his disciples asked, "Who did God like better--Moses or Abraham?"
波兰的拉迪茨拉比个头很矮小，蓄长胡须，据说其幽默感导致了对犹太人的几次清洗。他的教民之一问他：“上帝更喜欢谁，摩西还是亚伯拉罕？”

"Abraham," the Zaddik said.
"But Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land," said the disciple.
"All right, so Moses," the Zaddik answered.
"I understand, Rabbi. It was a stupid question."
"Not only that, but you're stupid, your wife's a meeskeit, and if you don't get off my foot you're excommunicated."
“亚伯拉罕。”扎迪茨说。
“可是摩西率领以色列人到了应许之地啊。”教民说。
“好吧，那就是摩西。”扎迪茨回答道。
“我明白了，拉比，这是个愚蠢的问题。”
“不只是这样，而且你也愚蠢，你的妻子是个教外人，你还敢踩着我的脚，我就把你逐出教会。”


Here the Rabbi is asked to make a value judgment between Moses and Abraham. This is not an easy matter, particularly for a man who has never read the Bible and has been faking it. And what is meant by the hopelessly relative term "better"? What is "better" to the Rabbi is not necessarily "better" to his disciple. For instance, the Rabbi likes to sleep on his stomach. The disciple also likes to sleep on the Rabbi's stomach. The problem here is obvious. It should also be noted that to step on a rabbi's foot (as the disciple does in the tale) is a sin, according to the Torah, comparable to the fondling of matzos with any intent other than eating them.
本故事中，这位拉比被要求在摩西和亚伯拉罕之间进行价值判断，这并非易事，特别对一个从来没读过《圣经》，却一直装作读过的人。另外用了这个要命的比较级“更好”又有何意？在这位拉比看来“更好”的，在他的教众看来并非一定“更好”。例如，这位拉比喜欢趴着睡，这位教民也喜欢趴在拉比的肚子上睡，此处问题显而易见。也应当注意到，根据《律法书》，踩在一位拉比的脚上（如本故事中的教民）是一宗罪，相当于怀着并非想吃的目的抚摸逾越节薄饼。

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A man who could not marry off his ugly daughter visited Rabbi Shimmel of Cracow. "My heart is heavy," he told the Rev, "because God has given me an ugly daughter."
有个人嫁不出自己丑陋的女儿，去拜见克拉科夫的希梅尔拉比。“我心里沉甸甸的，”他告诉拉比，“因为上帝给了我一个丑女儿。”

"How ugly?" the Seer asked.
"If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
“有多丑？”这位先知问他。
“她要是跟鲱鱼一起躺在盘子里，看不出哪是她，哪是鲱鱼。”

The Seer of Cracow thought for a long time and finally asked, "What kind of herring?"
The man, taken aback by the query, thought quickly and said, "Er--Bismarck."
"Too bad," the Rabbi said. "If it was Maatjes, she'd have a better chance."
这位克拉科夫的先知想了很久，最后问：“哪种鲱鱼？”
此人听到拉比这样问吃了一惊，脑子飞快地想了想说：“嗯——醋渍的。”
“太糟糕了，”拉比说，“如果是酒汁腌制的，她嫁出去的机会还大一点。”


Here is a tale that illustrates the tragedy of transient qualities such as beauty. Does the girl actually resemble a herring? Why not? Have you seen some of the things walking around these days, particularly at resort areas? And even if she does, are not all creatures beautiful in God's eyes? Perhaps, but if a girl looks more at home in a jar of wine sauce than in an evening gown she's got big problems. Oddly enough, Rabbi Shimmel's own wife was said to resemble a squid, but this was only in the face, and she more than made up for it by her hacking cough--the point of which escapes me.
本故事说明了像美这种具有转瞬即逝特点者的悲剧所在。那个女孩真的像鲱鱼？怎么会呢？怎么不会？你见过如今有些走来走去的东西吗，特别是在旅游点？就算她长得的确像，可是难道所有生命在上帝眼里不是同样美丽吗？也许是，但如果一个女孩浸在一罐葡萄酒调味汁里比穿着晚礼服让人看上去感觉更自然，那她的问题就大了。很奇怪的是，希梅尔自己的妻子据说类似一条鱿鱼，不过只是脸像，她的干咳大大弥补了这一不足——这里的寓意我不记得了。

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Rabbi Zwi Chaim Yisroel, an Orthodox scholar of the Torah and a man who developed whining to an art unheard of in the West, was unanimously hailed as the wisest man of the Renaissance by his fellow-Hebrews, who totalled a sixteenth of one per cent of the population. Once, while he was on his way to synagogue to celebrate the sacred Jewish holiday commemorating God's reneging on every promise, a woman stopped him and asking the following question: "Rabbi, why are we not allowed to eat pork?"
以色列的兹维·哈以姆拉比是《律法书》方面的正统派学者，而且是对某种在西方闻所未闻的艺术心怀不满的人。他被其希伯莱同族人公认为是文艺复兴时期最聪明的人，而希伯莱人占全部人口1%的16%。某次，他正要去犹太教会堂庆祝神圣的犹太节日，以纪念上帝在所有承诺上都食言，一个女人拦住他问了如下问题：“拉比，我们为什么不能吃猪肉？”

"We're not?" the Rev said incredulously. "Uh-oh."
“我们不能？”这位拉比怀疑地说，“噢——喔。”


This is one of the few stories in all Hassidic literature that deals with Hebrew law. The Rabbi knows he shouldn't eat pork; he doesn't care, though, because he likes pork. Not only does he like pork; he gets a kick out of rolling Easter eggs. In short, he cares very little about traditional Orthodoxy and regards God's covenant with Abraham as "just so much chin music." Why pork was proscribed by Hebraic law is still unclear, and some scholars believe that the Torah merely suggested not eating pork at certain restaurants.
这是全部哈西德文学中涉及希伯莱律法的少数故事之一。这位拉比知道他不应该吃猪肉，可是他无所谓，因为他喜欢。他不只喜欢吃猪肉，而且很喜欢滚复活节彩蛋。简而言之，他对传统中的正统观念很不在乎，并把上帝与亚伯拉罕的立约看作“都是扯淡”。希伯莱律法中，猪肉为何属于被禁止之列仍然未明，一些学者认为《律法书》只是建议在某些餐馆不要吃猪肉而已。

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Rabbi Baumel, the scholar of Vitebsk, decided to embark on a fast to protest the unfair law prohibiting Russian Jews from wearing loafers outside the ghetto. For sixteen weeks, the holy man lay on a crude pallet, staring at the ceiling and refusing nourishment of any kind. His pupils feared for his life, and then one day a woman came to his bedside and, leaning down to the learned scholar, asked, "Rabbi, what color hair did Esther have?" The Rev turned weakly on his side and faced her. "Look what she picks to ask me!" he said. "You know what kind of a headache I got from sixteen weeks without a bite!" With that, the Rabbi's disciples escorted her personally into the sukkah, where she ate bounteously from the horn of plenty until she got the tab.
维贴布斯克的鲍梅尔拉比决定开始绝食，以抗议不公正的法律禁止俄罗斯犹太人在贫民窟之外穿懒汉鞋。一连十六个星期，这位圣洁之人躺在简陋的草垫上，眼望天花板，拒绝进食任何营养品。他的学生担心他生命有虞，后来有一天，一个女人走到他床边向这位知识渊博的学者俯身问道：“拉比，以斯帖的头发是什么颜色？”这位拉比虚弱地转过身面对她。“看她挑的什么问题来问我！”他说，“你知道我十六个星期没吃过一口饭，我的头该有多疼！”他说完后，拉比的学生把她一直送到了“苏克棚”。在那里，丰饶角里的东西让她开怀大嚼，直到她收到账单。


This is a subtle treatment of the problem of pride and vanity, and seems to imply that fasting is a big mistake. Particularly on an empty stomach. Man does not bring on his own unhappiness, and suffering is really God's will, although why He gets such a kick out of it is beyond me. Certain Orthodox tribes believe suffering is the only way to redeem oneself, and scholars write of a cult called the Essenes, who deliberately went around bumping into walls. God, according to the later books of Moses, is benevolent, although there are still a great many subjects he'd rather not go into.
这则故事微妙地涉及了骄傲和虚荣的问题，而且似乎暗示绝食是件大不该的事，特别在空腹情况下。人类不会造成自身的不幸，苦难实际上是上帝的旨意，然而他为何从中得到如此大的乐趣非我所能理解。某些正统教派相信苦难是自身赎罪的唯一途径，学者们写到一个名为苦修派的教派，他们有意到处去撞墙。根据摩西几书的后几部，上帝是仁慈的，然而还是有很多话题他不愿谈。

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Rabbi Yekel of Zans, who had the best diction in the world until a Gentile stole his resonant underwear, dreamed three nights running that if he would only journey to Vorki he would find a great treasure there. Bidding his wife and children goodbye, he set out on a trip, saying he would return in ten days. Two years later, he was found wandering the Urals and emotionally involved with a panda. Cold and starving, the Rev was taken back to his home, where he was revived with steaming soup and flanken. Following that, he was given something to eat. After dinner, he told this story: Three days out of Zans, he was set upon by wild nomads. When they learned he was a Jew, they forced him to alter all their sports jackets and take in their trousers. As if this were not humiliation enough, they put sour cream in his ears and sealed them with wax. Finally, the Rabbi escaped and headed for the nearest town, winding up in the Urals instead, because he was ashamed to ask directions.
赞斯的叶克尔拉比，他曾经在全世界发音最好听，直到一个异教徒偷了他的能产生共鸣效果的内衣。他连续三个晚上梦到只要他能赶到沃尔基，就能找到大批财宝。他告别妻子儿女就上了路，并说他会在十天后回来。两年后，他被发现在乌拉尔山区游荡，并跟一只熊猫产生了感情。又冷又饿的这位拉比被送回家，在家里，他喝了热腾腾的汤和蔬菜炖牛排后恢复了元气，之后，又给了他一些东西吃。吃完饭，他讲了他的故事：离开赞斯三天后，他遭到了野蛮的游牧人的袭击。他们得知他是个犹太人后，强迫他把他们所有的运动夹克衫改得合身，还把他们的裤子改瘦。好像这样侮辱人还不够，他们把酸奶油灌进他的耳朵并用蜡封住。最后，这位拉比逃跑了，逃向最近的镇子，结果却到了乌拉尔山区，因为他耻于问路。

After telling the story, the Rabbi rose and went into his bedroom to sleep, and, behold, under his pillow was the treasure that he originally sought. Ecstatic, he got down and thanked God. Three days later, he was back wandering in the Urals again, this time in a rabbit suit.
故事讲完后，拉比起身走进他的卧室睡觉，嗬，他的枕头底下，正是他原先要去寻找的财宝。欣喜若狂的他跪下感谢上帝。三天后，他又回到乌拉尔山区游荡，这次穿了件扮兔子的衣服。

The above small masterpiece amply illustrates the absurdity of mysticism. The Rabbi dreams three straight nights. The Five Books of Moses subtracted from the Ten Commandments leaves five. Minus the brothers Jacob and Esau leaves three. It was reasoning like this that led Rabbi Yitzhok Ben Levi, the great Jewish mystic, to hit the double at Aqueduct fifty-two days running and still wind up on relief.
上面这则短小的杰作充分说明了神秘主义的荒谬性。这位拉比连续做了三晚上的梦。《摩西五经》是从十诫中减剩下的，再减去雅各兄弟和以扫的故事就只剩下三个。正是这种推理，让伟大的犹太神秘主义者伊茨霍克·本·列维拉比在阿奎达可特赛马场上，连续五十二天赌马赢了翻倍，到头来却要靠救济生活。