伍迪•艾伦语录
来自: 逍遥未遂(行到水穷处,坐看云起时。)
I'm afraid of the dark, and suspicious of the light.
我害怕黑暗,也怀疑光明。
——伍迪·艾伦
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
没有办法证明上帝不存在。要相信上帝不存在,你只能靠信仰。
——伍迪·艾伦
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
今天,我看着落日余晖丹霞似锦,心想,“我多么渺小啊!”。当然,我昨天也是这么想的,而昨天下雨。
——伍迪·艾伦
A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
一个男人从未对一个女人撒过谎,这说明他完全不顾这个女人的感受。
——伍迪·艾伦
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. 欣赏和喜欢你拥有的东西,而不是你没有的东西,这是快乐的天赋。
——伍迪·艾伦
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
如果你放弃所有让你想活到一百岁的东西,你就可以活到一百岁。
——伍迪·艾伦
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
我被绑架后,我父母立即采取行动——他们把我的房间租了出去。
——伍迪·艾伦
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. 我不怕死,我只是不想在我死的时候在场。
——伍迪·艾伦
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. 我并不相信有来生,不过我还是带上了换洗的内衣。
——伍迪·艾伦
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. 死亡是少数几件只要躺下就能完成的事情之一。
——伍迪·艾伦
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
我和我老婆唯一一次同时获得高潮是在法官签署离婚文件时。
——伍迪·艾伦
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
性与爱之间的区别是性缓解紧张,而爱则引起紧张。
——伍迪·艾伦
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
总的来说,我的老婆不太成熟。我在家洗澡时,她总是来把我的小船弄沉。
——伍迪·艾伦
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.
别对自慰说三道四。那是与你爱的人做爱。
——伍迪·艾伦
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
性爱是你在不笑的情况下能获得的最大乐趣。
——伍迪·艾伦
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
如果上帝存在,我希望他有一个好的借口。
——伍迪·艾伦
The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."
最动听的话不是“我爱你”,而是“它是良性的”。
——伍迪·艾伦
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
人似乎分为好人和坏人。好人睡得好一些,而坏人似乎能更好地享受醒着的时间。
——伍迪·艾伦
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
我不知道问题是什么,但性肯定是答案。
——伍迪·艾伦
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
如果你不是经常失败,这表明你做的事情没有什么创新性。
——伍迪·艾伦
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
人类比历史上任何时候都更接近一个十字路口。一条路通往绝望,另一条路通往灭绝。让我们祈祷我们有智慧做出正确的选择。
——伍迪·艾伦
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
我想我的父母并不喜欢我。他们把一只活的泰迪熊放在我的婴儿床上。
——伍迪·艾伦
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
有意思的是,现代天文学家认为,空间是有限的。这一点非常令人欣慰——尤其是对那些从来都不记得把东西放在哪里的人。
——伍迪·艾伦
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
生活中有比死亡更糟糕的事。你曾经和一个保险经纪人共度过一个晚上吗?
——伍迪·艾伦
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
如果你想逗上帝发笑,就把你的计划告诉他。
——伍迪·艾伦
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
男人学着去爱吸引他们的女人,而女人则学着去吸引他们爱上的男人。
——伍迪·艾伦
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
我没有娶我的初恋情人,因为当时我们之间有严重的宗教冲突。她是个无神论者,而我则是个不可知论者。
——伍迪·艾伦
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
我因为形而上学考试时作弊而被大学开除了——我偷看了邻座同学的灵魂。
——伍迪·艾伦
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
我参加了一次存在主义的考试。我一个答案都没写,结果得了100分。
——伍迪·艾伦
Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
我们的生活取决于我们选择用什么样的方法去扭曲它。
——伍迪·艾伦
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
不要把死亡视为末日。把它看作削减开支的真正有效的方法。
——伍迪·艾伦
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
下一辈子,我想倒着活。从死亡开始,以一次高潮告终。
——伍迪·艾伦
I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.
我不知道我想要什么,但我知道我不想要什么。
——伍迪·艾伦
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
我的爱情生活很糟糕。上一次我进入一个女人的身体还是在我参观自由女神像的时候。
——伍迪·艾伦
I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
我的结论是,艺术家无法解释生活或想出生活有意义的充足理由,但他们能够在一个热天给你一杯冰水。
——伍迪·艾伦
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
生活并不模仿艺术,生活模仿的是的糟糕的电视。
——伍迪·艾伦《丈夫、太太与情人》
如果生活是什么的话,那就是无聊。哲学家们称其为荒诞,但他们真正的意思是无聊。
——伍迪·艾伦 《中央公园西路》
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
如果一切都是幻觉,什么都不存在,那可如何是好?那样的话,我肯定为我的地毯多付了钱。
——伍迪·艾伦《无羽无毛》
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
我讨厌现实,但这仍然是获得一块好牛排的最佳地方。
——伍迪·艾伦《无羽无毛》
我想起了那个老笑话,你知道,有个家伙去看精神病医生,他说:“大夫,我兄弟疯了,他以为他自己是一只鸡。”医生说:“那你怎么不把他带来?”那家伙说:“我是想带他来的,可是我需要鸡蛋呀。”你看,我想这就是现在我对男女之间关系的感觉,你知道,它是完全非理性的、疯狂的,甚至荒谬的,但是我想我们还一直要经历这一切,因为我们大多数人都需要鸡蛋。
——伍迪·艾伦《安妮·霍尔》
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