quotes from JESSE

Jesse: I also feel inspired to go off book, um, and ask Andrew, um, in this movie my character falls out of love with your character. How did you fall in love with me on screen?
Justin: And off.
Jesse: And or off.
Andrew: Um, I could choose to answer this honestly… and I’m going to. There’s something about your face, that kind of um, engenders (laughing), a kind of… a well of um… joy! Springs from my soul. And uh, it’s pure projection. It’s nothing personal. It’s actually nothing to do with you; it’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had that I was very much enamored by.
Jesse: Whatever it takes.
Andrew: And your physicality is that of um…
Jesse: A dog?
Andrew: Yeah, well, yeah. A dog.
Jesse: Was it a golden retriever?
Jesse and Woody Harrelson Zombieland interview, containing the weirdest exchange in any Jesse interview, ever:
Interviewer: “And your mom, I can imagine what she was thinking when she watched that scene — because that’s your little love scene moment.”
Jesse: “Well it’s even weirder, because I have an Oedipal complex. So I think my mom was probably just jealous.”
Woody: “Right. So she has a — what’s the opposite of that? Where it goes down from the top?”
Jesse: “Illegal. Disgusting, actually.”
Woody: cracks up.
Jesse Eisenberg Q&A @ Rome Film Festival
Wherein the first question is about Mark having trouble with girls and Jesse’s like LOL I WOULDN’T LIMIT THAT TO WOMEN and then goes on about Mark/Eduardo and how the laptop smash is the first time Mark really sees and understands how his actions affect people emotionally, while the opening of the movie with Erica is the total opposite because Mark doesn’t feel genuinely sorry. TL;DR IT TAKES A WOUNDED!EDUARDO FOR MARK TO SEE THE LIGHT.
I also like what he says at the end, the bit about everyone saying something online that would particularly mortify them if it were made public and that the only difference between Mark and us is that there’s a movie feeding off his real blog transcripts. IMAGINE YOUR TUMBLR IN MOVIE FORM, GUYS.
 LOL 5:09. “I think you’re referring to my mother. I got distracted by my mother.”
Interviewer: Do you have a favorite horror movie?
Jesse: I don’t know, the only movie I really remember being frightened from is Schindler's List. I couldn’t watch it. That was the scariest movie I’d ever seen. I guess that’s not a horror movie.
“I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it. I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.” — Jesse Eisenberg
 
Interviewer: Which Adventureland job would you prefer – games or rides?
Jesse: I went for the games, because you can’t get killed on them.
“I personally feel very uncomfortable with myself, and I don’t feel uncomfortable with myself when I’m acting. I don’t know how to be in normal situations. I don’t ever leave the house. And yet acting, for some reason, feels very comfortable. I don’t know why, but it’s like sanctioned “being”.” — Jesse Eisenberg - Death & Taxes 2009 October
Woody: How did you jump from doing theater to movies? How old were you?
Jesse: I started doing musicals and stuff in New York when I was 14 or 15 years old. I’d come in to do plays, and then, very occasionally, for a movie audition. But I never really got into anything. Then when I was 17, I went to a performing-arts high school, and through that I got into a movie that got made. There was this series of really weird events.
Woody: So what part of New York City do you live in?
Jesse: I live in lower Chelsea.
Woody: Do you want to give your address to the readers?
Jesse: It’s 307 . . . West . . . Maple . . . Leaf . . . Road. The orange apartment.
Woody: You live in a pretty cool building, where they differentiate the apartments by colors.
Jesse: Yeah, the mailman likes it, but the dogs don’t because they’re all color-blind
“Hi Nylon, my name is Jesse Eisenberg. It’s nice to meet you. My style is like…every day is laundry day. I feel dumb in all things. Except for one piece pyjamas with the butt flap. All the clothes I have I take from the movie sets, cause on movie sets they buy so many multiples of the same pair of clothing, so I will often steal it at the end of the movie. So everything I have in my life, is taken from a movie set….ultimately stolen, yeah, to the point where the last time I took clothes I had to mail them back cause they realized I took them.
I really only listen to, uh, musical theater; probably not going to be very exciting for the Nylon audience. I love the band called Ween - W-E-E-N - they’re probably my favorite band that I have, um, but otherwise I listen to musical theater because…my mom didn’t know how to raise a boy.
Yeah, I started doing musical theatre when I was younger, that’s how I got started acting, by doing musical theatre in my town in New Jersey. The school that I go to, there’s a lot of - there’s a big art scene within the student body, and uh, that’s how I know of Nylon. But I’ve never been in the same room as a keg, but I’ve seen a picture of one…and it looks very interesting.
Woody Allen had a great line, he’s like, ‘I’d like to leave with a positive message, but I don’t have a positive message, would you except two negatives?’ …Every thought I have is parting, I’m always trying to get out of situations…um, so, probably that.”
Jesse Eisenberg for Nylon
Interviewer: Okay, to your facebook picture, your profile picture.
Andrew: Oh, are you kidding me? Can it be a picture of Jesse?
Interviewer: Jesse can be in it!
Andrew: Can it just be Jesse as my profile picture?
Interviewer: Yeah.
Jesse: I’ll try to look good like Andrew.
Interviewer: Do you guys wanna say anything about Andrew? Like interests, activities.
Jesse: Andrew’s an expert gymnast.
Justin: He likes chicken.
Andrew: I really do.
Justin: Lots of chicken.
Interviewer: Do you want to put any life quote? Like a life mantra?
Andrew [to Jesse]: What would you say my life mantra was?
Interviewer: You can’t just keep turning to Jesse!
Jesse: He exclusively quotes Mussolini, I don’t know why… [Andrew laughs]
Andrew: He had to repress a lot of his sexiness as well, which I think he found very difficult.
Armie: Yeah.
Aaron: That’s the thing!
Jesse: I thought that was a great failure… uh, the repression.
Andrew: It still came through in the end. Sue me.