in the loop 中英语字母

马尔科姆•腾克 首相联络部部长 早上好，我的伙计们 Good morning, my little chicks and cocks. 马尔科姆，录像资料…和往常一样 Malcolm, monitoring... All the usual. 你们队在周末表现的怎么样？ How did your team do at the weekend? - 额，是的，我们赢了 - 懦夫 - All right, yeah, we won. - (whispers) Wanker. 早上好，山姆，感觉如何？ Sam, morning. How are you? 那么，挑剔鬼，今天该从哪张开始呢？ Well, pop-pickers,what disc shall we start with today? 沃基•罗恩还是西蒙•福斯特？ Wonky Ron or how about Simon Foster?在BBC下午段的埃迪•麦尔的节目上 On the Eddie Mair PM programme on the BBC. 今天，我们请来了西蒙•福斯特 (recording) MAIR: Well, I'm joined by Simon Foster, 英国国际发展署署长 the Minister for International Development.你已经任职一年半了 You've been in the job for 18 months. 你觉得你有取得进展吗？ Do you think you're making headway? 是的，我想是的 SIMON FOSTER: Yes, I do. 我猜你希望我这样说… You'd expect me to say that, I suppose. 马克 WOMAN: Mark. 你们在修改千禧年目标的新闻稿吗？ You're co-ordinating the Millennium Goals press release? 那么就改得好点 Co-ordinate it better, please. 那是署长吗？ Is that the minister? 好吧 OK.（西蒙•福斯特 国际发展署署长） 关于昨天晚上的采访马尔科姆有说什么吗？ Have we heard anything from Malcolm about last night's interview? 没，还没有 No, not yet. - 可能他没有听到 - 或者他可能死了 - Perhaps he didn't hear it. - Or maybe he's dead.他可能真死了！ He might be dead! 他一直有中风的迹象 他可能最终就死于中风 He might have finally had that massive stroke he's been heading for. 在他妈的那样的职位It's been in the fucking post. 在全球贫穷国家中，有可以预防的疾病Preventable sickness in many of the poorest countries around the world. 当然，最有可能预防的是腹泻… And of course,the big one is diarrhoea... 啊，腹泻，国际发展署署长，真有你的Ah, diarrhoea. This is the Minister for International Development. 他应该谈谈食物分配 He should be talking about food parcels, 而不是因为口水乱飞导致危害 not fucking arse-spraying mayhem. 如果我们能解决像腹泻这样的小问题 我们就能… So if we can tackle the easy things like diarrhoea, then we can... 哦，再说一遍，真棒 Oh, say it again. Yes, very good. 这算什么？该死的预言吗？ What is this, the shitting forecast? 希望这能是在预防疾病的… ... hopefully that will strike another blow 战争中的一记重拳 in the war against preventable diseases. - 你提到了战争？ - 当然，埃迪 MAIR: You mentioned the word "war". - Steady, Eddie. 对抗可预防疾病的战争 FOSTER: Against preventable diseases. 所有的证据的矛头都指向 MAIR: All the evidence now points to 美国在中东地区的军事介入 a US military intervention in the Middle East. 你也是这样想的吗？ Is that your view? 我个人觉得，战争是不可预测的 FOSTER: Well, personally, I think that war is unforeseeable. 山姆，山姆Sam. Sam! 不可预测的？ 是的MAIR: Unforeseeable? FOSTER: Yes. 不，你不是这样想的！ No, you do not think that! 山姆，我现在要去国际发展部 Sam, I'm going to have to go 我要揪下该死的西蒙•福斯特的头发 to International Development to pull Simon Foster's fucking hair. 他没有说不可预测 He did not say "unforeseeable". 你也许听到他这样说了 但他真的没有这样说 You may have heard him say that, but he did not say that. 那才是事实 And that is a fact. 现在，他想让你在今天晚上的问题时间 Now, he's gonna want you to row back 重新解释不可预测 on that "unforeseeable" thing on Question Time tonight. 问题时间，你知道他们总在结束时 提那些古怪的问题吗？ On Question Time, you know the funny question they always have at the end? 是的 Yes. 我想我们现在就该开始准备 I think we should prep that now. 因为我喜欢在有意思的问题上出风头 Cos I'd like to shine on the funny question. 我很幽默，有敏感的触角 I'm a funny guy, with a light touch. 有个人，他是房产业大亨 他买下了南海的一个岛 There's this guy, he's a property tycoon. He bought a South Sea island. 可能是类似问题，如果你必须选择一人 It might be something like that. If you had to spend the rest of your life 和你在孤岛中度完余生 你希望这个人是谁？ on a desert island with someone, who would it be with? 这个…我不能说我老婆 因为我还没有 Well... I can't say my wife cos I haven't got one. 我不能说我女朋友，因为我也没有 I can't say my girlfriend, because I haven't got one of those either. - 还有，不要说曼德拉，太… - 是的，太无聊了，而且他是个笨蛋 - And don't say Mandela. That's... - No, no, boring. And a bloke. 或者，凯拉•奈特利（英国女星） Or Keira Knightley. 那是个好主意That's a good idea. 堕落，淫荡 署长，大家可不想知道这些 Pervert. Sex. Minister. People don't want to know. 我不这样认为 I don't think so. 你把衣服从洗衣机里拿出来了没？ Did you take the washing out of the machine? - 没 - 没是什么意思？ - No. - What do you mean "no"? 就是我没有拿出来 No, I didn't take the washing out of the machine. - 衣服会皱的… - 没有关系 - It's gonna go really stale... - It'll be fine. - 那有关系 - 没关系，我来穿皱衣服 - It's not fine. - It's fine. I'll wear stale pants. 我不想和穿皱衣服的出去 I don't want to go out with someone in stale pants. 这样吧，我不穿底裤直接穿裤子 Well, there we go. I could go commando. 但我觉得政府不允许我这样做 But I don't think that's accepted in government. 你带了第一天上班该带的吗？ Have you got everything you need for your first day? 是的，都在这儿，我强大的智慧 Oh, yes, all in here. My massive intellect 还有给西蒙•福斯特的一个苹果 and an apple for Simon Foster. 狼狈的西蒙，你是这个意思吧？ Simon "Fluster", don't you mean? 不要这样说，我会重新塑造他的 Don't call him that. I'm rebranding him. 他昨天在电台里的表现像屎一样 He was absolutely crap on the radio last night. 他听起来就像是被黄蜂叮过屁股的鸡 He sounded like a chicken with a wasp up its arse. 你给我一周的时间，我让他听起来 You give me a week, I'll have him sounding 像是没有被黄蜂叮过屁股的鸡 like a chicken without a wasp up its arse. 祝你在外交部好运，不要惹恼俄国人 Good luck at the Foreign Office. Try not to annoy Russia. - 再见 - 再见 - See you later. - See you later. 我稍后给你电话，你不要关机 I'll give you a call later. Keep your phone on. - 悠着点，当心车 - 是吗？谢谢了 - Be careful. Cars. - Oh, really? Thanks for that. 希望如此… Helpful... 好，好，继续印出你的不可预测 OK, OK, go ahead and print "unforeseeable". 听着，如果我要告诉你老婆 Listen, assume I tell your wife 你和安吉拉•希尼在黑泽会议的事 about you and Angela Heaney at the Blackpool conference, 你觉得哪种方法比较好呢？ 邮件？电话？或者其它方式？ what would be best, an e-mail, a phone call or what? 我可以写在蛋糕上，用那些银色的小球 I could write it on a cake! With those little silver balls. 你那花心的丈夫在10月4日那天背叛了你 "Your hack husband betrayed you on October 4th... 还有，恭喜你生了个孩子 and congratulations on the new baby." 对，你最好还是放弃吧 Yeah, maybe it's better to spike it, yeah. 好吧，去你妈的，再见 OK, fuckity bye. 你把宽面拿出来了吗？ WOMAN: (on phone) Did you put away the lasagne? 是的，在冰箱里 Yes, of course, it's in the fridge. 所有的东西都用保鲜膜包起来了 It's got Clingfilm on it and everything. 你为什么要用保鲜膜？ Why did you put Clingfilm on it? 因为这样能保持新鲜 那就是保鲜膜的作用 Because that keeps it fresh. That's the point of Clingfilm. 我不想再等了 No, I don't want to hold. 这样食物就会很干 It might dry out. 那是个外行人犯的错误 That's an amateur mistake. 我不想再等了，他在等什么？ 该死的变性手术？ I'm not holding any longer. What's he waiting for, a fucking sex change? 那不是致癌物 It's not carcinogenic. 什么？西蒙•福斯特？ What, Simon Foster? 保鲜膜不会致癌 Clingfilm doesn't give you cancer. 没有人会腹泻，我喜欢 Diarrhoea Of A Nobody. I like that. - 锡纸… - 关于这点 - Aluminium foil... - Apropos of that... 让你得艾滋，或者，你知道 宽面会让你得梅毒 ...gives you AIDS, or, you know, lasagne gives you syphilis. - 这么什么的 - 不，你冷静！ - It's not a thing. - No, you relax! 天，那是谁？ God, who's that? 让该死的布莱恩接电话 MALCOLM: Get me fucking Brian! （片名 通灵人士） 如果你不让他接，我立马就直接过去 If you don't get me fucking Brian, I'm gonna come over there. 把你锁在该死的蓄水池里 I'm gonna lock you in a fucking flotation tank 然后装满污水，直到你淹死 and pump it full of sewage until you fucking drown. - 帕丽斯•希尔顿？（豪门浪女） - 你是认真的吗？ - Paris Hilton. - Are you serious? - 莉莉•艾伦（英国女歌手） - 不，不要女人 - Lily Allen. - No, no women. (phone rings) - 说？ - 奥尔森姐妹？（美国明星姐妹） - Yeah? - The Olsen twins. - 谢谢 - 是谁？ - Thank you. - Who's that? - 马尔科姆，他过来找你了 - 他妈的，他还活着 - Malcolm. He's coming to see you. - Oh, shit, he's still alive. - 他什么时候到 - 现在 - When's he due? MALCOLM: Now! 不要说你没准备，我打过电话了 And don't say you weren't prepared, because I rang ahead. 给我一分钟，行吗？亲爱的 Give us a minute, could you, please, love? 关于那个词 去你妈的纳金高（抒情爵士歌手） In the words of the late, great Nat King fucking Cole, 不可预测，你才是不可预测的 unforeseeable, that's what you are. 那个人是谁？ WOMAN: Who's that geezer? 哦，我知道他是谁 Oh, I know who he is. 你是丹，是吗？ You're Dan, right? - 丹尼尔？新的顾问？ - 托比 - Daniel? The new adviser? - Toby. 托比，哦，不好意思叫你丹 Toby. Oh. Sorry about the "Dan" thing. 你们总是叫丹，所以值得猜下 You guys are often called "Dan" so it's worth a punt. 我是朱迪，朱迪•莫洛伊 I'm Judy, by the way. Judy Molloy. 国际发展署通信部的主管 Director of Communications for International Development. 今天是个普通的早晨吗？ Is this a normal morning? 署长在昨晚的采访中表现的像垃圾 The minister was rubbish on last night's interview... - 他是垃圾？ - 是的，垃圾 - He was rubbish? - Yes. Rubbish. 别这样，马尔科姆，他问我个人观点 Come on, Malcolm, he asked me for... for a personal opinion. 那你为什么不说？他问你，他妈的 当然，这就解释通了 Why didn't you say? He asked you. Fuck, of course, that explains it. 如果他叫你去操黑人 或者告诉他你的银行密码 If he'd asked you to fucking black up, or to give him your PIN number 或者让你丢脸，你也这样做吗？ or to shit yourself, would you have done that? 操黑人，是的，那是电台节目 没有人会知道 Blacked up, yes. It was radio, nobody would've known. 很好 Very good. 战争基本上是无法预测的，是吗？ War is basically unforeseeable, isn't it? 那不是我们的方法 你要照我们的方法做 That is not our line. Walk the fucking line. 凯伦•克拉克今天就从华盛顿过来 We've got Karen Clark over from Washington today. 五角大楼的呆子，我们这里已经够多了 We've got enough fucking Pentagon goons here 足够来次武力政变 to stage a fucking coup d'état. - 署长 - 亲爱的，不是时候 - Minister. MALCOLM: Not the time, love. - 我忙着，滚出去 - 是托比 - I'm busy. Fuck off. - This is Toby. 托比，很高兴你能来，今天有点特殊 Toby, hi. I'm glad you could make it. It's a bit of an odd morning here. 欢迎来到精神病院，我替马尔科姆道歉 Welcome to the madhouse. I apologise for Malcolm. 不要为我道歉，你应该为自己道歉 Don't apologise for me. Apologise for yourself. 我刚才是不是让你滚 你为什么还在这里？ Did I not just tell you to fuck off and yet you're still here? 是的，我，是的，我还在这里 It's true, I am, yes, still here. 喂，小子 Hi, foetus boy, 第一课，我叫你滚，你怎么做？ lesson one, I tell you to fuck off, what do you do? 滚开 Eff off? 你最好走远点 You'll go far. - 滚，现在 - 好 - Now, fuck off. - Right. 朱迪和我将在今晚的问题时间重新解释 Judy and I were thinking that I could row back on Question Time tonight. 你不要去问题时间了，你没有资格 You're not on Question Time. You've been disinvited. - 我们已经开始准备问题时间了 - 为什么没有人告诉我 - We've been prepping Question Time. - Why wasn't I told about this? 我为什么要告诉你？ 我让你滚了两次，你还在这里 Why the fuck would I tell you about it? I told you to fuck off twice. 这是国家通信部秘书安排的媒体见面会 It's a scheduled media appearance by this department's secretary of state 那是在我职责范围内 so it falls well within my purview. - 在你职责范围内？ - 是的 - Within your purview? - Yes. 你以为你在哪里啊？ 在摄政团里面演戏啊？ Where do you think you are, some fucking Regency costume drama? 这里是政府部门 不是在简•奥斯丁的小说里 This is a government department, not a fucking Jane fucking Austen novel. - 马尔科姆… - 请允许我拿个小帽子 SIMON: Malcolm... - Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet 盖住你的职责范围 然后用醉酒的马的鸡巴把它吊来 on your purview and ram it up the shitter with a lubricated horse cock. 你满嘴的脏话没有留下好印象 Your swearing does not impress me. 我丈夫在陶尔哈姆雷特区工作，相信我 My husband works for Tower Hamlets and believe me, 那些东西让你听起来像… 安杰拉•兰斯伯里（英国女星） those kids make you sound like... Angela Lansbury. 她结婚了？可怜的混蛋 She's married? Poor bastard. 马尔科姆 朱迪的醉酒的马鸡巴先放放吧 Malcolm, Judy's lubricated horse cock aside for a second, 你是说我没有资格参加媒体见面会？ are you saying I'm now no longer allowed to make media appearances? 是的，直到我们相信你按规矩做事 Correct. Not until we can trust you to keep the line. 我会按规矩做事，我会去说 I was going to keep to the line. I was going to say, 我不认为战争是不可预测的… I don't think war is unforeseeable... - 那算什么？嗯？ - 我不知道，可预测的？不对 - What is it, then? - I dunno. Foreseeable? No. 不，不是可预测的 这真他妈的算在宣战 No! Not foreseeable. That's fucking declaring war. 你他妈的想宣战？ Do you want to fucking declare war? 我是内阁大臣 我不是靠那些媒体见面会 I'm a Cabinet minister. I didn't get here by screwing up 得到这个位子的 every media appearance I ever had. 记下来，战争既不是可预测的 也不是不可预测的 Write this down. It's neither foreseeable nor unforeseeable. 没错，不是不可预测的，但也不是… Right, so not inevitable, but not... 你最好按照规矩做事 You'd better walk on this fucking line. 可预测的 ...evitable. 喂，你，放个酒杯在那 防止BBC暗地里搞署长 You, hey, put the snifter out there that if the BBC ambushes a minister 再问你署长关于战争的事 我立马扔个炸弹过去 with another surprise question about the war, I'll drop a bomb on them. 我不能这样做，不是吗？那是政治 I can't do that, can I? That's political. 难道这不属于你的职责，玛丽皇后？ Does that not fit within your purview, Marie Antoinette? 你为什么不躲到他妈的克兰福德去？ Why don't you just scuttle off back to fucking Cranford 喝喝你的茶，吃吃你的蛋糕 玩玩你他妈的马的鸡巴 and play around with your tea and your cakes and your fucking horse cocks. 让他们去吃鸡巴！喂，你！ 罗恩•韦斯莱，你来弄吧 Let them eat cock! Hey, you! Ron Weasley, you do it. 不，不，你不需要担心加拿大人 No, no, you needn't worry about the Canadians, 他们到那里就会开心的 they're just happy to be there. （迈克尔•罗杰斯 外交部长） 是的，当他们被邀请时总看起来很惊讶 Yes, well, they always look surprised when they're invited. 关于西蒙•福斯特 我要不要打电话给托比？ Shall I just give Toby a call about this Simon Foster thing? 是的，好主意，我不是在和你说话 Yes, good idea. No, I'm not talking to you. 帮我转到安哥拉的代办 Get me the Angolan chargé d'affaires. 是的，叫他不要踢球了 Yes, well stop him playing football. 你好 Hello. 怎么样？陷入泥团了吗？ So, how's it going? Found the bogs? 有点…狂躁 It's a bit... manic. 和在农业部不一样 人们不会因为小事轻易骂人 Never like this at Agriculture. People tend not to get so sweary about wheat. 对不起，迈克尔 能不能把声音调小点？ Sorry, Michael, do you mind just turning it down a bit? 就一点点…真刺耳，该死的音乐 (classical music) - Just a little bit... grating. Bloody music. 听着，事实上，我想帮你 Listen, I've got a bit of leg-up for you, actually. 我想我们可以把西蒙•福斯特 弄到3点凯伦•克拉克的会上 Yeah. I think we can get Simon Foster into the three o'clock with Karen Clark. 凯伦•克拉克？ TOBY: Karen Clark? 是那个因为白血病 而用小船游遍英国的女人吗？ Was she the woman who went round Britain in a coracle for leukaemia? 不，托比 凯伦•克拉克是国务卿的助理 No, Toby. Karen Clark, US Assistant Secretary of State. 哦，好，凯伦•克拉克，太好了 Oh, right, Karen Clark. Wow, great. - 迈克尔有话要说 - 肉 - Michael wants to say something. - Meat. 肉？ Meat? 他的人在房间里面任人宰割 他就是不说话，像个摆设 His man is only going to be meat in the room. No talking. He's just padding. 美国人不认为他们在参加严肃的会议 The Americans don't feel like they're getting a proper meeting 除非两边都有30人参与 unless there's 30 people on each side, 在那个房间，他基本上就是一摆设 so he's basically like bulk in the room. 他不重要，但是他会到场 He's not exactly going to be relevant, but he'll be present. 说实话，我才不会告诉他这些 I won't tell him that, to be honest. - 好，我要挂了，亲爱的，我爱你 - 好，我也爱你 - OK, I've got to go, darling. I love you. - OK, yes, likewise. 至少在这个问题上我同意 Affirmative on that one. 好的，亲爱的，保重，再见 All right, darling, take care, bye. 我现在能把声音开大吗？ Can I turn it back up now? 你性生活是健康的，是吧？真讽刺 You're on sexual health, aren't you? That's ironic. 好了，托比，简单介绍下 Right, Toby, quick tour. - 我应该去… - 这是迈克 - I should probably just go and... - This is Mike. 给迈克就行，他知道自己要做什么 Just leave it to Mike, cos he knows what he's doing. - 是吗，迈克？ - 什么？ - Don't you, Mike? - What? 是的，他是一白痴 Exactly. He's an idiot. 听着，我理解你对新人的敌意 Listen, I understand your hostility at new wood being brought in. 抱歉，我想，介绍就此结束 Sorry, that's the end of the tour, I'm afraid. 这里真的有很多重要的人你需要认识 There is really a lot of very important people that you ought to know about, 但是我不得不… but I have to... - 嗨，托比 - 好吧，老板 - Toby, hi. - All right, boss. 关于先前马尔科姆的事情，我很抱歉 I'm sorry about earlier. Malcolm. - 他有点强势，是吗？ - 是的 - He's a bit of an alpha male, isn't he? - Yes. 听着 Listen, 我想… I was just um... - 不要坐在安娜的桌子上 - 对不起 - Don't sit on Anna's desk. - Sorry. 我成功的将你弄进了今天下午的 大型外交部会议 I have managed to get you into the big Foreign Office meeting this afternoon. 是凯伦•克拉克的会议吗？ 真的吗？他妈的 The Karen Clark meeting? Really? Shit. 你是怎么做到的？ How did you do that? 我可是努力争取的 I did it through sheer bloody hard work. - 朱迪？ - 嗯？ - Judy? - Yeah? 托比将我弄进了今天下午 凯伦•克拉克的会议 Tobes here has got me into the big Karen Clark meeting this afternoon. 哦 JUDY: Oh! 大肉（与肉同音） The big "meat". 很厉害，是不是？ 顺便问下，怎么拼的？ Impressive, eh? How are you spelling that, by the way? 两个E Two "E"s. 哦，对 Oh, right. 一件事 TOBY: Just one thing. （外事局） 小心说话，你到那里就会发现，一堆人… Talkingwise, you might find once we get in there, that the bulk of it... - 我们能不能等下朱迪？ - 当然 - Can we just wait for Judy? - Of course. 西蒙 Simon. 嗨，迈克尔 Michael, hi. 你好，欢迎 Hello. Welcome. - 迈克尔 - 是的 - Michael? - Yes. 我是切德，我们希望会场能够布置成U形 I'm Chad. We'd like a dual horseshoe formation for the meeting set-up. 一边留给克拉克女士 一边给五角大楼代表团 An enclave for Ms Clark. An enclave for the Pentagon delegation. 还有，请求您能允许 And, politely, we request the presence 提供碳酸和非碳酸两种饮料 of both carbonated and non-carbonated waters. 好的 Right. - 就这些？ - 是的，就这些，非常感谢 - Is that all? - Yeah, that's it. Thank you so much. 不客气，哇，是谁啊？小兰肯斯坦恩？ Not at all. Wow, who was that? Young Lankenstein? 他可能在做一些相对重要的事情 He's probably running something relatively major. 他们都是美国小伙 They're all kids in Washington. 就像《龙蛇小霸王》那样 不过是玩真的 It's like Bugsy Malone, but with real guns. (spoon tapping glass) 谢谢大家今天的出席 Thank you all for coming today 来到临时英美资源论坛 to the Interim Anglo-American Resources Forum. 我特别要感谢… I'd particularly like to welcome... 你那边看的清楚吗？ What's your view like? - 还行吧，一般 - 好，我们换个位置好吗？ - Well, it's pretty basic. - OK, can we swap? 我不想在这样的前提下达成共识 I don't want a consensus forming around the premise （凯伦•克拉克 外交部国务卿助理） 就是，在这样的当口，军事行动是首选 that military action is necessarily the primary option at this point. 这篇文章是我的一个助手写的 丽莎•维尔德… This paper which was authored by one of my aides, Liza Weld... 丽莎，我希望你不要介意 我公开这篇文章 Liza, I hope you don't mind if I foreground this paper. 严格来说，这不是我的文章 It's not strictly my paper. 某种意义上说是你提交的… In the sense that you were the one who put in the requests... 维尔德小姐非常的谦虚 但这的确是她的 Miss Weld is very, very modest, but this is her paper. 她强调了几点我们为什么… And she's highlighted several reasons 不能预见至少一年内 在世界上发生的事情的原因 why we cannot envision a theatre deployment for at least 12 months. 我是不是应该说点什么？ 她邀请我来，我该说点什么 Should I say something? She invited me. I should say something. 如果你在前十分钟里面不说话 If you don't say something in the first ten minutes, 之后就完全不可能发言了 then you might as well not say anything at all. 我觉得你不应该说话 I really think you shouldn't say anything. - 不，我应该说点 - 不，西蒙，不，不要… - No, I should say something. - No, Simon, don't, just don't... 不要拉我的手 Don't pull my hand down. 委员会认为应该发展的更加快点 The committee feels a quicker deployment is possible. 啊，哪个委员会？ Ah, which committee? 很多委员会成员都在讨论这个问题 It was discussed in a number of committees. - 如果我提到一个委员会… - 你提到了 - If I mentioned one committee... - You did. …那么就是一个口误 ...then it was a slip of the tongue. 怎么，你不小心提到一个秘密的委员会 What, because you've accidentally alluded to a secret committee, 一个战争委员会？ a war committee? 允许我打断下 我理解这段时间我们压力都很大 If I may intercept. I understand we are rather pressed for time. 丽莎，你知道林顿有没有 建立一个战争委员会？ Liza, do you know if Linton has set up a secret war committee? - 不，我不知道 - 给我查 - No. I have no idea. - Get me on it. 我认为英国政府的官员 I think it's worth noting that ministers in the UK government, 就像我们在场的这位，西蒙•福斯特 such as our colleague here, Simon Foster, 解释的很清楚了 他们认为当下的战争是不可预测的 have made it very clear that they feel currently war is unforeseeable. 是吗？西蒙？ Isn't that right, Simon? 额…是的 Er... well, yes. 我就是这样说的 That's... That's what I said. 我仍然坚持我的立场 And I stick to what I said. 不是说，我不会改变我的立场…在将来 That doesn't mean that what I said won't change... in the future. 额…是会改变的 Um... it's not immutable 或者，不变 or mutable. 那是…那是…那是… It's... It's... It's... 那是会发展的… It's a developing... 我想我们有关于变数问题的讨论时间 MICHAEL: I think there are areas of mutual discussion 我们先回到正题 那个可能在结尾时会让大家讨论… that we could come onto now, and then maybe if there's time left at the end... 朱迪，你能不能传下这个？好吗？ Judy, can you just pass that on? Is that fine? （别当傻子了） 好的，可以，谢谢 Yes, that's all fine, thank you. 好，过来，我们谈谈 这算什么？别当傻子？ Right, come here. We need to talk. What do you mean, "Stop being a tit?" 就是说，我是个傻子？ In what way was I being a tit? 我到底为什么来？ Why am I even over here? 你就是板上的肉，西蒙 You were just meat in the room, Simon. - 是的… - 板上的肉？ - Yeah... - Meat in the room? 是的 Yeah. 真他妈感谢你，朱迪 我花了一个小时来这里 For fuck's sake, Judy, I've taken an hour out to come over here 当案板上的肉 and be room meat. 是的，但是…重要的是 Yes, but... but a prime cut, 你知道，你不是废物 you know, not offal. 哦，太棒了，我不是没用的肝脏 Oh, great. I'm not liver. 我算什么？山雀肉？ What was I, tit meat? 额，不，我… Well, no, I just... 算了，我们回去吧 SIMON: Come on. Let's get back. - 嗨，丽莎 - 嗨 - Hey, Liza. - Hey. 恭喜你，你的文章被重点引用了 I just want to say congratulations. Your paper got a major citation. 你一定察觉到凯伦会提出 You must be psyched that Karen brought it up. 额，是的，你知道 是她提出的，不是我 Yeah, well, that was, you know, her call. Not mine. 在当下这种局面 You couldn't write a paper 你已经不可能把文章写的更激烈了 that clashes more violently with the current climate if you were trying. 你似乎已经很努力了 It seems like you almost were trying. - 我没努力！相信我 - 你像生活在不祥里的女人 - I wasn't trying! Believe me. - You're like the woman in The Omen. 生下了一个现在要杀你的恶魔 You've given birth to a demon and now it's gonna kill you. 你看起来像是不祥之国里的孩子 You probably identify with the kid from The Omen. 看出来了吗，你是独子，是吗？ See, you're an only child, aren't you? 我难以想象的是父母有限的生育能力 I don't understand how my parents' 对我产生了多坏的影响 limited reproductive ability reflects badly on me. 我是穿越成功的精子，所以… I'm the sperm that made it, so... - 丽莎 - 我老板叫我了 - Liza. - I'm being called by our boss. - 好，去吧，一会儿见 - 好，玩的开心点 - OK, retreat. See you later. - Yeah, have fun with yourself. 你和你的事业克星也玩的开心点 Have fun with your career kryptonite. 下面发生什么了？好像很重要 What's going on down there? That looks important. 我的牙疼的要死，它们碎了吗？ My teeth are killing me. Are they chipped? 那颗一直是在那里的，是吗？ I think that one has always been there, right? 表面上有碎片？ It was a chip on the veneer. - 不要盯着我的牙齿看那么长时间 - 对不起，对不起 - Don't look at my teeth for a long time. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - 那个吓到我了 - 丽莎！ - It just surprised me. TOBY: Liza! 托比 Toby. 托比！嗨 Toby! Hi. - 嗨 - 打我电话！ - Hi. - Give me a call! - 好 - 好 - Yeah. - OK. 丽莎•维尔德，校友，拿过肯尼迪奖学金 Liza Weld. She did the Kennedy Scholarship at my college. - 我喜欢过她 - 我看得出，是的 - I had a little thing for her at the time. - I can imagine, yeah. 没想到，她还记得我 Don't think she remembered me, to be honest. 那一定是氟硝西泮（迷奸药）的副作用 That is one of the side-effects of Rohypnol. 林顿已经建立了战争委员会，我就知道 Linton has set up a secret war committee. I just know it. 我说，林顿就是一个大疯子，丽莎 I mean, Linton is an absolute lunatic, Liza. - 他很危险 - 这可不好 - He is dangerous. - It's not good. 他的心里一定是在高歌吧 The voices in his head now sing barbershop together. 我真的，真的不希望打仗 战争就像噩梦 I really, really hope there isn't a war, it's going to be a nightmare. 搞他妈的奥运会已经够糟的 It's bad enough having to cope with the fucking Olympics. - 署长？ - 简单说两句吧，先生？ - Minister? - Just a quick word, sir? 这是你照规矩办事情的机会 你还想按规矩吗？ This is your chance to nail the line. Do you want to nail the line? 不，我要自由发挥，你好，嗨 No, I'll freestyle it. Hello, there. Hi. 署长，战争是不可预测的，是吗？ So is war unforeseeable, Minister? 听着，所有的事，事实上 Look, all sorts of things, that are actually very likely 都是不可预测的 are also unforeseeable. 飞机在雾里的时候，山就是不可预测的 For the plane in the fog, the mountain is un... unforeseeable, 但是，突然又看的很清楚，可以避免 but then it is suddenly very real and inevitable. 那是你的观点，还是政府的？ Is this your opinion or is this the government position? 山是一种隐喻 The mountain in the metaphor is 一座假设性的山可以代表任何的东西 a completely hypothetical mountain that could represent anything. 那么，谁是飞机，谁是山呢？ So, who is the plane, and who is the mountain? - 政府在云雾里迷失了方向？ - 我说的是… - Is the government lost in the fog? - What I'm saying is... 在走向和平的道路上… that to walk the road of peace... 有时我们要准备好去穿越… 充满冲突的山 sometimes we need to be ready to climb... the mountain of conflict. 非常感谢 Thank you so much. 谢谢，就这样了，女士们先生们，谢谢 Thank you. That's it, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. 妈的，妈的，妈的，妈的，妈的，妈的 我们为什么不守规矩？ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, why didn't we nail the line? 西蒙，我提醒过你 Simon, I did try to warn you. 你是提醒过你但是你没有阻止我，对吧？ Yes, you tried to warn me, but you didn't actually stop me, did you? 我无法把你扭倒在地 I can't tackle you to the ground. 就像别人 已经被火车撞了的时候喊火车！ That's like shouting "Train!" At somebody as they get hit by a train. 你应该喊火车！他妈的火车来了！ You should go "Train! There's a fucking train!" 白痴！ (mobile rings) - Bollocks! - 他妈的，是马尔科姆 - 我也是，马尔科姆打过来的 - Fuck, it's Malcolm. - It's Malcolm for me, too. 他是怎么做到的？ How does he do that? 西蒙，我不喜欢在新闻里看到人们看到 Simon, I don't like finding out about people employed by this government 政府的人，除非他们是死人 via the news, unless they've just died. 马上给我过来 Be here, now. 英国政府应该做好准备 The British Government must be prepared 去穿越充满冲突的山 to climb the mountain of conflict. 不知道他是否和首相交流过他的观点 It's unclear if his view is shared by the Prime Minister. 也许我们应该澄清下 TOBY: Maybe we should get it out there. 说战争是你辞职的借口 Float the idea that the war is a resigning issue for you. 不能这样说，说了那就真的要辞职了 You can't say it's a resigning issue, because then you have to resign. 你第一天过的还真不赖，知道吗？ You're having a really great first day, you know that? 你是内阁大臣 You are supposed to be a Cabinet minister! 你是官员阶层！ You are supposed to be Officer Class! 别弄这些，别他妈的挥挥手 Don't do this, don't make fucking waves. 我们能做到，不让公众羞辱我们 SIMON: We can do without the ritual humiliation. You know I'm against talking up the war. 你是反对战争的？ You're against talking up the war? 所以你就说穿越冲突的山 Is that why you said "climb the mountain of conflict"? 你知道你这话听上去像什么吗？ Do you know what you sounded like? 他妈的纳粹茱丽•安德鲁斯 A fucking Nazi Julie Andrews. 我只是说我也许被迫表明我的立场 I'm just saying I might be forced to the verge of making a stand. 立场？ A stand? 好，出去，白色条纹组合（歌手） Right, The White Stripes, outside. 额…额… Uh-uh. 白色条纹组合只有两个人 There's only two people in The White Stripes. 我… I um... 我钦佩你 I admire you. 真的，我钦佩你 I really do, I admire you. 有立场 Making a stand. 我知道了，我可以告诉首相 你不想去华盛顿 So, I take it, I can tell the PM that you... you don't want to go to Washington? - 去哪里？ - 去华盛顿 - To where? - To Washington. 知道吗？首相，他要你…他要求你去 See, the PM, he wants you... Well, he wanted you 去寻找真相，你知道 to go on a fact-finder, you know. 如果中东问题升级，我们都要面对 Problems we might have to face if it all goes boombastic in the Middle East. 哦，对 Oh, right. 但是，你知道，你是被迫的，不是吗？ But, you know, that's you, you're on the verge, aren't you? 你被迫阐明你的立场，所以… You're on the verge of your stand, so... 马尔科姆，拜托 Well, Malcolm, come on, 我不知道我应该用什么话表达我的心情 I don't know what words I used in the heat of the moment. 也许在某种意义上，是，我是被迫的 那很重要 Maybe in a sense, yeah, I am on the verge, but that's the important thing. 我是被迫的，我没有做决定 I'm on the verge. I'm not in any way decided. 有老天罩着，你慌个头啊？ Christ on a bendy-bus. Don't be such a fucking faff arse. 不，我表明我的立场，被迫的 No, I'm standing my ground, on the verge. 好吧，好了，你去美国之后 Right, OK, well, when you go to America, 找国务院的凯伦•克拉克，知道吗？ talk to Karen Clark at the State Department, yeah? - 好，好的，我有点晕 - 离林顿•巴维克远点 - Right, OK. I'll give it a whirl. - Keep away from Linton Barwick. 就因为考尔德伍德（一个外交官） 他发动了战争 He's pushing the war for Caulderwood's lot. 我来对付他 他拿手榴弹就像拿张纸一样轻而易举 I'll deal with him. He uses a live hand grenade as a fucking paper weight. 那是真的 That's a true story. 哇，那么我不和他说话 Wow, I won't talk to him. 和越少的人讲话越好，这样对你好 Talk to as few people as possible, that would be best for you. 好，丽莎，洗澡优先 帮我查查林顿的战争委员会 OK, Liza, the priorities are shower, get me on Linton's war committee （美国国务院 华盛顿） 帮我找个牙医，算了不要按那个顺序了 and get me to a dentist, not necessarily in that order. 晚点洗澡吧 Shower later. 我们走了之后林顿做了些什么？ What has Linton been up to while we've been gone? 我们在加州宣战了？ Have we declared war on California yet? 啊，凯伦 Ah, Karen. （林顿•巴维克 政策助理国务卿） - 英国之行怎么样啊？会开的怎么样？ - 很好啊 - How was London? Good meetings? - Very good meetings. 我们讨论的很顺利，我想我们… You know we had some great discussions there, I think our... 谢了，他们到我办公室来的时候 我会看你的发言的 Thank you very much, and I will read your words when they come through. 非常感谢，凯伦，额，鲍勃 Thank you so much, Karen, hm. Bob. 你不会看的，林顿 You won't read the words, Linton. 切德来了吗？切德？ Is Chad coming? Chad? 没，他可能还在处理和合唱队女友的事 No, he's probably doing his desperate chorus girl thing, 在林顿办公室门口晃着，想吸引眼球 hanging around Linton's office, trying to catch an eye, you know. 所以昨天她穿了提胸的胸罩 注意到了吗？ That's why he's wearing his push-up bra today. Have you noticed? - 嗨，国务卿助理 - 布拉德，你好吗？ - Assistant Secretary of State, hi. - Brad, how are you? - 切德 - 好，好，非常好 - Chad. - Yep, yep, yep, exactly. - 我回避？ - 是，是，当然 - Can I? - Yep, you betcha, OK. 嗨，听着，关于战争委员会 Hey, listen, the war committee. 你要做的就是找 What you have to do is you've got to look for 行政部门以外的10个名字 最无聊的委员会 the ten dullest-named committees happening out of the executive branch. 林顿是不会起 “恐怖战争委员会”这样的名字 Because Linton is not going to call it the "Big Horrible War Committee". 他会起多样化战略这样隐蔽的名字 He's gonna hide it behind a name like "Diverse Strategy". 无聊到你想自残 Something so dull you're just gonna want to self-harm. 帮我找五角大楼的米勒将军 Get me General Miller at the Pentagon, please. 我的牙疼死了 My teeth hurt. 真他妈疼 My teeth hurt like hell. 我讨厌听到牙疼，恶心 I'm sick of hearing about the teeth, frankly. 嗨，是，我在报纸里找线索呢 Hi, yeah. I'm checking the status on a paper 这里工作人员发的 that was circulated by a staffer here. 叫… It's called... 战后计划，数据，暗示和可能性 "Post War Planning. Parameters, lmplications and Possibilities". 这是…是丽莎•维尔德写的，对吗？ This is the one by... this is the one by Liza Weld, right? PWIP PIP？（执行控制计划） "PWIP PIP"? 天啊，已经有缩略简称了 Oh, God, it already has an acronym. 你知道另外一个简称吗？ DOA…（到达时死亡） You know another acronym? DOA... 你的命运 Your career. 神啊，真不明白为什么大家 喜欢在透明房间工作，是吗？ My golly, I can't see why anyone would choose to work in a glass office, huh? 透明办公室，我觉得是给变态用的 Glass offices, in my opinion, are for perverts. 我可以要求在玻璃上涂上霜花 I could request the glass be frosted. 霜花是涂在蛋糕上的，好吗？ Frosting is on cakes, huh? 好，在英国还发生什么了？ Now, what else happened in London? 总的来说，主要有两个小问题 Ah, generally positive, two glitches... 真的，什么啊？ Really, what? 凯伦提供了她手下的报告 Karen flagged a report by one of her staffers. 她想用那个阻挠，叫 PWIP PIP She's obviously trying to use it as some kind of roadblock. It's called PWIP PIP. - PWIP什么？ - PWIP PIP - PWIP what? - PWIP PIP. 算什么东西？鸟语报告啊？内容呢？ What is it, a report on bird calls? What does it even stand for? 我忘了，既支持又反对战争 就事实而论 I can't recall. It's factish. Intel for and against intervention. 我们只要真实情况的全部资料 其它的我们都不要 We have all the facts on this we need. We don't need any more facts. 在真理的净土上，我的朋友… In the land of truth, my friend... …拥有真理的人就是王者 ...the man with one fact is the king. 你说还有点事，是什么？ You said there was something else, what is that? 在外交部的会议上 In the meeting with the Foreign Office, 有人不小心提到那个委员会了 the committee was accidentally and briefly alluded to. 哪个？ Which committee? 就是…战争委员会，先生 The... The war committee, sir. 好吧，凯伦还不知道这个，对吧？ All right, Karen is not to know about this, huh? 她就像被刺激的，乱叫的母狗 She is an excitable, yapping she-dog. 把这几分钟的记录找出来，我改下 Get a hold of those minutes. I have to correct the record. - 我们能这样做？ - 当然 - We can do that? - Yes, we can. 这几分钟的内容作为我们的备注 Those minutes are an aide-mémoire for us. 不是对说过的话的原始记录 They should not be a reductive record of what happened to have been said, 他们要的是对说过的话的原始记录 but they should be more a full record of what was intended to have been said. 这样的记录更加精确，不是吗？ I think that's the more accurate version, don't you? - 先生 - 没错 - Sir. - Right. 我不喜欢这部分，删了 I don't like this section, let's cut that. 好的，好的，先生 Aye aye, sir. 颠倒顺序 Let's reverse this. 先生，那些是凯伦说的 That was something Karen said, sir. 她说的不对，改下 Well, it's not right, so let's change it. - 好的，先生 - 还有，还有，就这样吧 - Aye, aye, sir. - And... And I like... I like this. 额，谢谢你，先生 Ah, thank you, sir. 对，写上全体通过，知道吗？ Yeah, let's say everyone agreed with that, huh? 然后…然后车会在机场接你 So... So the car will pick you up from the airport. 我觉得会是辆好车 It's supposed to be quite a good one, I believe. 美国方面负责车，我只有联系电话 The Americans are doing that. I've just got the contact numbers. 她为什么他妈的那么开心？ What's she so fucking happy about? 她可能在打私人电话 She's probably just on a personal call. (Judy laughs) 为什么她能有百叶窗？ Why has she got control of the blinds? 我想… I think it's... 我是政府大臣却不能有自己的百叶窗 I'm a government minister and I don't have control of my own blinds. 我可以帮你订一些 一些漂亮的，厚重的 I could order you some blinds. I could order you some nice, heavy curtains, 有垂花，有窗帘箱 with swags and a pelmet maybe. 好，就那样的 Yes, do that. 嗯 OK. 你跟我来下 Will you come with me? 听着，去美国小组，我的小组… So, listen... my team for the US, Team Simon... 我想带上你，不带朱迪 I'm thinking of taking you and leaving Judy. 我能胜任，真的 I could work with that, definitely. 再说，她有点，你知道的… Plus, she can be a bit, you know... 为什么所有的事情都不合心意？这个样子 "Everything's a bit shit, isn't it?" Like that. 是的，是这样，还有，她还 Yeah, it's true. No, she can be, 哦，你是老大，我一定要铭记？ "Oh, so you're the President and I'm supposed to be impressed by that?" 我老公在陶尔哈姆雷特区工作，哼，哼 "My husband works in Tower Hamlets. Meh, meh, meh." 这可比做总统难多了 "Which is much harder than being President." 好，就这么定了 她就给我呆这里，去告诉她 Yeah, OK. Well, that's settled. Fuck it, she's staying here. Go and tell her. 什么？ What? （美国国务院） 我们需要讨论点其它的东西 KAREN: Well, that moves us on to any other business. 我对需要讨论是事做出了标记 就像以前一样 I think I've flagged everything that I need to discuss, as I usually do. 你把问题都准备好了 Everything you're preparedto discuss. 你在干什么？ What is that? What are you doing? 林顿，我知道你成立了一个新的委员会 叫什么来着？ I understand you've started a new committee, Linton. What is that called? 你为什么这样想？ What makes you think that? 我们在伦敦开会时已经有人提及了 It was mentioned at our meeting in London. 你肯定是听错了 Well, you must have misheard me. 不，难道我听错了委员会这个词？ No. I misheard the word "committee"? 也许是别的词语 Maybe it was another word. 例如说是，霍梅尼（与委员会音似，下同） Like, say, Khomeini. - 难道你在霍梅尼担任委员？ - 也许，还是有很多词相似的 - You're sitting on a new Khomeini? - Possibly. There are a lot of words. 堪萨斯州城，基帝 Kansas City. Kitty. - Itty - Itty？ - Itty. - "Ltty?" Itty 不是一个单词，鲍勃 "Ltty" is not a word, Bob. - 军粮供应处 - 谢谢，詹姆斯 - Commissary. - Thank you, James... 你何不现在就给我概括一下 Why don't you just recap for me, at the moment, 所有你目前做了委员的委员会？ all the committees that you're currently sitting on? 我很抱歉，凯伦，但是…你的牙流血了 I'm sorry, Karen, but you... you appear to be bleeding from the teeth. 等我看看，天啊 Let me see that. Holy Mother of... 别转移话题 Well, don't try to change the subject. 各位，真的很抱歉，不必在意这些血 I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. Just ignore the blood. - 会议没有结束 - 我不能视若无睹，很抱歉 - We haven't finished the meeting. - I can't ignore... l'm sorry. 我不是故意这样说的 但是这样看起来有点恶心 I don't mean to be rude, but this is a tad repulsive. 我很抱歉，请让让 丽莎，跟着我，我需要你 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Liza, come with me, I need you. 查德，留在这里 Chad, stay here. 去吧，巴菲（吸血鬼猎人） 你现在属于吸血鬼女王 Go, Buffy, you belong to the vampire queen now. - 丽莎 - 我正在过来 - Liza. - I'm coming. 哦，我的上帝，该死！又给他脱身了 Oh, my God. Shit! He's in there alone. 我不能忍受看着女人嘴里流血 I cannot stand to see a woman bleed from the mouth. 这让我想起不能忍受的乡村音乐 It reminds me of country and western music, which I cannot abide. Huh? 那东西就像是会令人窒息 That stuff is just choking the airwaves. 看，很抱歉，我们仅仅是需要… 天啊，上帝 - Look, sorry, we just need... - Oh, my God! 很糟糕，遭透了 我不能碰到任何东西 - It's really bad. It's really bad. - I can't touch anything... 这不是开玩笑的 这…我需要捉住它 - Nobody was joking. - It's... I need to catch it. 你对委员会了解多少？ How far are you with the committees? 实际上，我刚刚知道2个 I've got it down to two, actually. 一个是目标和政策联盟委员会 One is the "Aims and Policy Alignment Committee". 另一个是未来计划委员会 The other is the "Future Planning Committee". 不是第一个，因为那是我提出的 It's not the first one, because I set that up. 它的名字听起来很无趣？ 我想它会是一个好名字 Does it really sound dull to you? I thought it was a good name. 是的，哦…不，挺好的名字 Right, no... it is a good name. 好吧，查一下 看看是不是真的叫未来计划委员会 Well, find out if it really is the... "Future Planning Committee". 查一下是不是它 Find out if it really is that. 好的，那我现在就去了 Um... OK, well, I might go and do that. 如果我现在出去做， 你不会对我大吼大叫，对吧？ You're not going to shout at me if I go and do that, are you? 我不是怪物，丽莎 I'm not a monster, Liza. OK? 你用不着暗示我是怪物了，好吗？ Will you stop implying that I'm some kind of monster? 鲍勃！ Bob! - 嘿 - 嘿 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 我想跟你说，我们正在评选这愚蠢的 I wanted to tell you we're having this stupid 办公室本月最帅职员 "hunk of the month of the office" kind of contest. 你知道，我并不想你觉得自己被物化 And I just didn't want, you know, you to feel objectified in any way, - 或者类似什么的 - 不，一点也不 - or anything like that. - No, not at all. 凯伦知道了一些 关于未来计划委员会的一些事情 And Karen knows about the Future Planning Committee. 我不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about. - 不知道？ - 不知道 - No? - No. 失陪了 Excuse me. 未来计划委员会，就是它了 Future Planning Committee, that's what it is. 华盛顿 哇！ TOBY: Wow! 酷毙了 This is fucking cool. 别那么幼稚了，托比，我们正在办公事 Don't be callow, Toby, we're on official business. - 先生们这边请 - 谢谢 - This way, gentlemen. - Oh, thanks. 真是有点他妈的酷毙了 That was a little bit fucking cool. 没错 Yep. - 你有预定车？ - 我？没有 - Did you book a car? - Me? No. 朱迪会帮我们预定一辆车 Well, Judy will have booked a car. 朱迪？ Judy? - 嗨 - 拜托！ - Hi. - For fuck's sake! 我想知道我们的车在哪里？ I was wondering what the car situation is? 这是罗比的工作，而你则是接手就行了 It's Robbie's job to book it and your job to check it. 很明显…我想她那边 搞得有点乱了 There's obviously... some snarl-up at her end, I think. - 西蒙•福瑞斯特 - 噢 - "Simon Forester." - Oh. 非常感谢 Thank you very much. 英格兰政府，西蒙•福瑞斯特 "England Government, Simon Forester." 我是西蒙•福斯特，是英联邦政府的 My name's Simon Foster, it's British Government. (siren) 嘿，老兄，我在一个礼宾车上呢 Hey, Gav, I'm in a fucking motorcade. 没错 Yeah. 我觉得我们应该再找些小姐 你懂我的意思吗？ I feel like we should have hookers, do you know what I mean? 我的意思是在这里…现在 I mean in here... now. - 你想要小姐吗？ - 不不，不，绝对不是 - Do you want girls? - No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. 不，很抱歉，不要小姐 这仅仅是一个玩笑 No, sorry. No hookers, it was just a joke. 我讨厌这个，并非是挑衅 但是，还是不用了，谢谢 I hate hookers. Not in an aggressive way, but, no, thank you. 奇怪的酒店 Strange hotel. 这很像商人专用的飞机棚，不是吗？ TOBY: It's like a hangar for businessmen, isn't it? - 这个更好，难道不是？ - 的确比那个大 - That's better, isn't it? - It's big, yeah. 就把它们带到这里，这很好了 Just bring them here, that's fine. 托比，你有没有美元？ Tobes, have you got any m... 我还没去自动柜员机，现在只有英镑 Well, I haven't been to an ATM, so I've not... I've only got English. 我的意思是，我不认为英镑可以做小费 I mean, I don't suppose English money is... 这个都给你，很抱歉，这是英镑 This and this, sorry that's... 通常一个旅行袋子只需要一美元 TOBY: It's usually a dollar a bag. 噢噢，那里是国会 Ooh, well, there's the Capitol, 你可以通过那扇窗子看到，就在树后 you can see there through that window and that tree. 从技术上讲 你看到了美国国会的顶端景色 Technically, you've got a Capitol Hill view. (classical music) 你好 Hi. 打扰了 Excuse me. 你好，最近怎样 Hello. How are you doing? （米勒•乔治将军 五角大楼高级军事助理） 说点什么好呢，我已经一个月没见你了 Was it something I said? I haven't seen you in a month. 很久没这种感觉了，谢谢 I haven't felt that in years. Thank you. 你真漂亮 You're beautiful. 哦，谢谢，但我肯定你对所有女孩都这样说 Oh, thank you. I'm sure you say that to all the girls. 是的，的确，我也会对一些士兵这样说 Yes, I do... and some of the soldiers, too. 这就是为什么你不能参政，桃色新闻 That's why you shouldn't run for office, bimbo eruptions. 来吧，别相信那些鬼东西了 我不会去参政的 Come on, don't believe that shit. I'm not gonna run for office. 我只是想尝试做一些与众不同的 I'm just trying to do something different. 这是我喜欢你的一个原因 It's one of the reasons I like you. 我知道你的热情 都用在了教育，住房以及… I know your passion about education and housing and... - 女性内衣，兽性 - 没错 - Lingerie. Bestiality. - There you go. 我情愿没听到 I'd forgotten about that. 你还是对狗过敏？ Are you still allergic to the dog? 是的，早上醒来后 我的眼睛都睁不开，我的头像肿了一样 Yes, yes, I wake up and my eyes are closed and my head is swollen 看起来就像一个巨大的气囊 and I look like a giant ball sac. 天啊，你知道 Oh, my God. You know, 他们确实有现代疗法专门针对这种东西 they do have modern medication for that sort of thing. - 尽管仍是美丽的气囊 - 非常感谢 - Beautiful ball sac, though. - Thank you very much. - 国防部最近怎样？ - 有点小摩擦 - How's the Pentagon? - It's kicked up a little. 他们聊合理侵略聊的很起劲 They're talking invasion reasonably seriously. 有地方可以借一步说话吗？ Is there somewhere we can talk about this? - 我不知道 - 一定有 - I don't know. - There must be. - 我不住在这里 - 跟着我 - I don't live here. - Follow me. - 走这边 - 不要让别人知道我们离开 - Go that way. - Don't let people know we're leaving. 很好，她女儿不在家，我刚和她聊过 This is good. Her daughter's not home, I talked to her. - 在这里？ - 是的 - In here? - Yeah. 如果有人立刻进来 我不知道我们要讲什么 Although, I don't know what we'll say if somebody comes in right now. 不，我还没能想出一个很好的借口 No, I can't think of a good possible excuse, no. 我也是 No, me neither, me neither. - 什么？ - 来这边 - What? - Come here. 小心点，别弄乱这些东西 Just be careful, don't mess stuff up. - 来吧，这只是玩具 - 坐下吧 - Oh, come on, it's toys. - Let's sit down. - 所以… - 是的 - So... - Yeah. 并没有足够的军队 Not enough troops. 最低总量只可以满足欧洲战场 Total minimum European Theatre requirement. 远东，东南亚战场 The Far East, Asia. - 好吧，这是我们现有的？ - 是的，那是总量 - OK. That's how many we have? - Total there, yes. 我们应急机制已经部署好了 And then we have the contingency already deployed. 好吧，我不是…你弄糊涂我了 OK, I don't... You've lost me. 等一分钟 Hold on a minute... 哦，这个该死的 Oh, fuck this. 什么 What? TO Y: # La la la, la la la la, la la la. 好了 Good. 你的武器装备真令人印象深刻，将军 Your military hardware is impressive, General. 只能这样了，不是吗 Yeah, well, not any more, it isn't. 然后，你把这些加起来 - So, you add these together. (toy sound effects) 这是需要用来入侵的作战部队的数目 So this is the number of combat troops available for an invasion, 根据这些数据 according to these figures. 是12！ TO Y: 12! 一万二千？ Thousand? 不不，12支军队 No, 12. 12 troops. 哦，不是吧？你在耍我啊？ Oh, come on, you're shitting me? 我是在耍你，12,000个士兵 I am shitting you. 12,000 troops, 12,000 troops, 但是这并不足够…这是要牺牲的人数 but that's not enough... that's the amount that are going to die. 而事实上，战后你需要一些士兵活着 And at the end of a war you need some soldiers left, really, 否则就好像你被打败了 or else it looks like you've lost. TO Y: Bye, for now. 你知道吗？明天我得和几个英国佬开会 You know what? I've got some Brits I have to meet tomorrow. 一个叫西蒙•福斯特的 A guy named Simon Foster. 谁是西蒙•福斯特 Who's Simon Foster? 那是个会在公开场合 说战争是无法预见的家伙 He's this guy that said publicly that war was unforeseeable. 我想他会在战争委员会中很有用 And I think he could be very useful on the war committee. 他可以把那些反对意见国际化 He can internationalise the dissent, start to. 你想把他当作是一个小傀儡？ You're going to use him as a little meat puppet? 嗨，托比 Tobes... hi. 嗨 Hi. 我们今晚…要干什么？ What are we gonna... do tonight? 今晚做什么？ Gonna do tonight? 是的，我们今晚要干么，我的首席助手？ Yes, what are we up to, my... my chief aide? 好吧，额，我的意思是 今晚我打算整理一下思绪 Well... yeah, I mean, I sort of thought tonight 我们也许真的有点累了 we'd probably be just a bit tired, really. 不，我是累了 但是我是职业政治家，托比 No, I am tired. But I'm also a career politician, Toby, 要在世界的政治强国呆48小时 in the political powerhouse of the world for 48 hours, 我认为我们应该出去而不是坐在房里 and I thought it might be nice to go out rather than just sitting in my room 总好过在这里看鲨鱼纪录片 trying to spank one out over a shark documentary, 因为我害怕如果看色情节目 because I'm scared if I watch a porno 我会兴致一来去注册会员，所以… it'll end up in the register of members' interests. So... 你有没有什么好主意？ What have you got... for us to do? 好吧，我做了什么？ 目前为止我们已经… Right, what have I got? Well, so far we've got... 在门那里有一张宣传单 Well, there's a leaflet through the door 那是酒吧的欢乐时光介绍 也许会很有趣 for happy hour at the bar which might be interesting. 或者我也有一些朋友 Also I do have the number of a guy 一些我在大学认识的朋友 现在在CNN工作 I was at uni with who works for CNN out here. - 不 - 不？ - No. - No? - 你在哪里？ - 我在向你招手 - Where are you? - I'm waving at you. 我没有看到你，做的更明显点 I don't see you, be more visible. 我就在你上面，我现在正向你走过来 I'm, like, practically on top of you, I'm coming to you, is what I'm going to do. 你现在可以挂电话了 You can stop talking on your cellphone now. 没问题 Of course I can. 我要走了 打电话给西蒙•福斯特这个家伙 Look, I have to leave. Phone Simon Foster's guy. 告诉他们到这个军事委员会来一趟 Tell them, come to the war committee. 我将给些见面时间 大约在明天10点左右 I'll give them some face time tomorrow around ten o'clock. 准备一些咖啡和丹麦，他们会想要一些茶 It'll be coffee and Danish. Tea. They'll want tea. 茶和同情，或者茶还有打手枪，无所谓 Tea and sympathy, tea and a hand job, whatever. 关于锤头鲨我们仍有很多未解之谜 ... great deal that is unknown about hammerhead sharks, 例如它们交配的习惯 such as their mating habits. 你很清楚看到哪个是母的 You can definitely spot the female ones. 你好 Hello. 托比，你今晚要干什么？ Hi, Toby, what are you doing tonight? 额，不，你难以相信的忙碌 事实上我们… Well, no, it's unbelievably hectic. Actually we're... 他们的求爱期是很粗暴的 Their courtship is a violent affair. 除非雌性答应，否则雄性鲨鱼 一般会紧紧咬着她们不放 The male will bite the female until she acquiesces. 丽莎，军事委员会那是个大事 The war committee, that's a big thing, Liza. 好的，实际上我以前也在一些委员会呆过 Yeah, well, I have been on committees before, 那是一个关于挑战奶酪市场的委员会 最大委员会中的一个 the Challenges For The Cheese Market, that was one of the big ones. 好极了，上帝，我喜欢喝茶 Yeah, God, yeah. Love a drink. 40分钟刚刚好，好极了 40 minutes is perfect, yeah, yeah. 再见，好的，再见 Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye, bye. - 马蒂，在CNN做的怎样？ - 很好 - Matty, how's CNN? - Great. 我没有，家伙 I can't, mate, no. 丽莎刚联系我们 让我们明天早上去未来计划委员会 Liza Weld has got us onto the Future Planning Committee in the morning. 战争委员会也行，随便你怎么叫 The "war committee" to the likes of you and me. 你到底在说什么？ What are you talking about? 未来计划委员会就是林顿的军事委员会 The Future Planning Committee is Linton's war committee. 你是在 CNN 工作还是在卡通新闻网络？ Do you not work for CNN or is it the Cartoon News Network? (knocking at door) (continued knocking) 进来，真没想到在这里见到你 Come in. I just wasn't expecting to see you here. 你真的在这里 明显的，你一直在我心里 Physically here. Obviously you're always in my heart. 他妈的我无处不在，我是个土地主 I'm here, I'm there, I'm fucking everywhere, I'm the egg man. 你就是想站在不同时区的区域侮辱我？ Have you come to insult me in a different time zone? 不，抱歉，我现在要出去和她喝东西 Yeah. No, sorry, I'm just off out for a drink with her just now. 朋友，你错了 No. You're barking up the wrong cock there, my friend. 小托比今晚会睡在他的吊床上 Little Toby is staying very much in his hammock this evening. - 西蒙，我刚刚为我们拿到了… - 嗨 - Simon, I've got us on the... - Hiya. 上帝，该死的，马尔科姆 Jesus Christ, fucking hell, Malcolm. 你应该在厕所里放屁，而不是在这里 You're supposed to shit yourself in there, not out here. 我安排了明天早上 去参加林顿的未来计划委员会 I've got us on Linton's Future Planning Committee for tomorrow morning. 很好，那是什么？ Brilliant. What is that? 那是一个战争委员会 It's the war committee. 什么？那是真正的战争… 真正的战争委员会？ What? The actual war... the actual war committee? - 谁将在那里？ - 凯伦 克拉克，丽莎•维尔德 - Who's going to be there? - Karen Clark, Liza Weld, 我和西蒙… me and Simon... 西蒙和我 Simon and me. 其他委员会的成员呢，他们是谁？ How about the rest of the committee, who are they going to be? 吉姆•澳文，格温妮丝•帕特洛 这是一个转移注意力的消遣 Jimmy Osmond, Gwyneth Paltrow? It's a diversion. 真正的委员会，事实上在白宫那里工作 The real committee, that's happening at the White House. 我迟点将会告诉你详细的细节 我现在要出去 I'll text you the details, because I'm going to go out 和一些国务院家伙喝一些东西，就现在 for a drink with some State Department bods just now. 不要把这个向媒体揭露，好不好？ 不要向任何人提及 Don't mention this to the press, OK? Don't mention it to anyone. 如果媒体闻到一丝丝 关于战争委员会的气味 If the press get a whiff that there's a war committee 甚至假信息，即使镇上的傻瓜 每一个在这个镇上的混蛋 even a cardboard one, every fucker in this town 都会争先恐后想知道它 is gonna turn up and try and get on it. 所以，无论你在哪个同性恋酒吧 别把消息漏出去 So no matter what gay bar you end up in, keep it shtoom. 我正在看那节目 SIMON: I was watching that. 好吧，我得和你说几句 Yeah, well, I have to have a word with you. 也许你会想躲进你的被窝里 You might want to slip into your negligee. (heavy rock music) - 你看到那些疯子了没？ - 嗯 - You see this mosh pit? - Yeah. 他们大多数是白宫员工 参议员的实习生 Well, they're mostly house staffers, senators' interns. 今晚他们跳的很疯狂 但明天他们仍会回到国会 Tonight they rage hard, but tomorrow they go back to the Hill 争论降低噪音的立法 and argue noise-reduction legislation. - 这是你的还是我的？ - 不知道，我已经有3个了 - Is this yours or mine? - I don't know, I've got three. 所以里面有一个应该是你的 So one of these has got to be yours. 我从没有看过这些像是液体东西… 你们称蜡是液体吧？ Those are like fluids that I've never... would you call wax a fluid? 不，这不是液体，更像是… No, it's not a fluid, it's more of a... - 感觉很亲切 - 这是一种泥，对，一种淤泥 - It's very intimate. - It's an ooze... it's an ooze. 噢...恶心 Ooo... eugh! 凯伦想你说战争是无法预见的 Karen will want you to say "War is unforeseeable." 而林顿希望你大声讲攀越冲突之山 And Linton will want you to talk up the "climbing the mountain of conflict" line. 你不发表任何意见，懂吗？ You say nothing, OK? 你给我扯远点，否则我就让你好看 You stay detached, otherwise that's what I will do to your retinas. 好吧，请问我现在能睡觉了吗？ Right. Can I go to bed now, please? 不不不，我们就这样呆着 No, no, no, no. We're going to stay here 而且你要排练不发表任何意见的样子 and you are going to rehearse saying nothing. 你在折磨我吗？ Am I being tortured? 你看起来心事重重 TOBY: You look worried. 关于我写给凯伦的那份报告 It's the paper that I wrote for Karen. 它叫 PWIP PIP，是关于战争的 It's called PWIP PIP, it's about war. 里面包括正反面观点 而我提出了大量反对观点 The pros and cons, and I came up with too many cons. 我现在，他妈的看起来很烦就是因为 I'm, like, fucking worried because... 这个，就像我的事业正在悬崖边上 this is, like, my career on the line. 我想你的确很烦 因为你本身看起来就很烦 I thought you were worried, because you were looking worried. 但你知道，我的意思是，别太担心 But you know, don't... I mean, don't... don't worry. - 谢谢 - 不用 - Thank you. - OK. - 不客气 - 谢谢 - Sure. - Thank you. 该死的！ LIZA: God damn it! - 你还好吧？ - 还好，我刚刚脱了我的鞋 TOBY: Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm just taking off my shoes. 为什么这样？清真寺戒条？ Why is that? Is it a mosque? 它就像… It's just, like... 这是不是，是不是快活城堡？ Is it... Is it a bouncy castle? (laughter) (kissing) 我能不能这么说，在华盛顿发生的 Can I just say, what happens in Washington, 就让它留在华盛顿，嗯？ stays in Washington, yeah? 我住在华盛顿，这看来对我没有效 Well, I live in Washington, so that doesn't, like, really work for me. 是吗？ TOBY: Yeah? 麻烦给我一个 华盛顿出租车公司电话号码 A number for a cab company in Washington DC, please. 要直接接通的电话 你好，我需要一辆出租车 Just straight through, straight through. Hi, I need a cab. 额，我不知道这里是哪 我在1427号外面，正在向… Well, I don't know. I'm outside number 1427, moving on... 我真的不知道在哪里 这是条漂亮的街道，有很多树叶 I don't know, it's a nice street, it's quite leafy, 周围都是政府房 federal houses. 马塞尔的很不错 Marcel's is nice. 我喜欢他们的外衣 I like their wraps. 你应该去 La Taverna 酒店 那里简直棒极了 And you should go to La Taverna, the Greek place, that's fantastic. 在那里他们会用火烧奶酪 They do that thing where they set fire to the cheese. 那个叫什么来着，非常有趣 What's that called? It's a lot of fun. 是的，听起来很有趣 Yes, it sounds fun. 那里还有航空宇宙博物馆和国际美术馆 And, well, there's the Aerospace Museum and the National Gallery. 他们会把那些美术品也点着火吗？ Do they set fire to the pictures? 也许 Yeah. 很抱歉我迟到了 在来的路上出了点问题，但… Hi, sorry I'm so late for the meeting. One or two issues getting here, but... - 我是凯伦 - 我是托比 - I'm Karen. - Hi. Toby. 捉到一个开夜车的？ Pull an all-nighter? - 哦，我只是被人引入歧途 - 谁干的？ - Well, I... I was led astray. - Oh. By who? 我只是被一些国防部的人 搞的筋疲力尽，还有… I... I just ran into some people from the MoD and... 不是佩林•格瑞林？ Not Penny Grayling? 不 No. 另外一群家伙 Another... gang. 我都不知道在这里有那么多代表团 Wow, I didn't realise we had so many delegations in town. 不是，额…是英国佬来了 No, well..."The British are coming!" 所以 So... 抱歉，你知道的，我还有一些事情 现在需要去核实一下 Yeah, you know what? I have a lot of things to check on just now. 所以这也许是个好地方 把事情就这样暂时结束 So this would probably be a good place to break things up. 没问题 No problem. 好极了 Brilliant. 再见 Bye. 我把你的包拿来给你了 I've brought your bag for you. 谢谢，哥们 Cheers, man. 托比，我不想在这里指责你那些放纵行为 Tobes, I don't want to have to read you the riot act here, 但我要从你放纵的行为中 为你抽出一些建议 but I am going to have to read you some extracts from the riot act. 例如第一部分，第一段 不要让你的老板处在孤军奋战中 Like section one, paragraph one: Don't leave your boss twisting in the wind, 然后迟到闯进来 闻起来还像一个在海边的醉驴 and then burst in late smelling like a pissed seaside donkey. 英国佬来了 (lamely): "The British are coming." 好吧，我真的很抱歉我开会迟到了 All right, I was late for the meeting. I am sorry, 但我没有在这里吐出来 but it's not like I threw up in there, is it? 不，你是对的，我对你不公平极了 No, you're right, I'm being unfair. 我应该感谢你没有吐出来 I should be thanking you for not throwing up. 好吧，你就是主角了 你没有尿湿自己，对吧？ Well done, you're a star. You didn't wet yourself, did you? 你来对地方了，你并没有公开的 说过任何种族歧视的东西 You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. 没有把你的鸡巴拿出来拨弄 You didn't pull your dick out and start plucking it 然后大喊，“我的鸡巴在弹琴” and shouting, "Willy banjo." 不是的，我很不公平 No, I'm being really unfair. 无论怎样你都是正确的 尽管你事实上没有来帮忙 You'd got so much right without actually being there 尽管那是我事业刚起步的 某一个重要时刻 for the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career. 谢谢你了，你真是一个传奇 Thanks, you're a legend. 你不觉得那只是会议的开始？ 我们是不是要回到那里去？ That was just the beginning, do you think? Are we going back in there? 我不知道，我仅仅是打了招呼 I don't know, we barely said hello. 我已经演了更长一点的哑剧 I've had muggings that lasted longer. 而我们谈的无非就是可燃的奶酪 All we talked about was flammable cheese. 要是会议已经结束了怎么办？ 如果凯伦又回来 TOBY: What if our meeting has finished? What if Karen comes back, 然后看到我们还坐在这里怎么办？ and then we're still sitting here? 那很尴尬，好像我们是追星族似的 It's going to be embarrassing, isn't it? We're going to look like groupies. 要是会议没有结束呢？ What if the meeting hasn't finished? 然后她回来而我们又不在那又怎么办？ And she comes back and we've disappeared? 也许我可以问问朱迪，她可以给点建议 Maybe I could call Judy? She could... 停一下，我们可不可以 做一些没有朱迪掺和的事情？ Please can we try and just do one thing without Judy? 好吧 Fine. 我觉得我们已经受够朱迪了 I think we've drawn long enough from that... teat. （白宫） 太让人惊讶了 这座大楼的大理石都不是进口的 Surprisingly enough, a lot of the marble in the building is not imported. - 是吗？ - 这相当有趣 - Really? - It's really interesting... - 如果你研究过 - 现在不是时候 - If you study the stonework... - Not at the moment. 这里，行吧？ So, you made it in OK, right? 是的，非常好，谢谢，我想要一杯咖啡 Yeah, hunky-dory, thanks. Can I get a coffee? 当然可以 Sure, sure. 我们开始谈的话 我的助手很快就会拿咖啡进来 If we just get started, my assistant should be bringing in coffee shortly. 你的助手？ Your assistant? 是的，那么，开始话题吧 Yeah. So, item. 我们需要谈谈英联邦国会议员情绪 We need to have a conversation about the mood of the British Parliament, 其中的一些问题 the bumps in the road ahead and what not. 很抱歉，我不是... 这里的情况是...就这个样子？ I'm sorry, I don't... This situation here is... is this it? 无意冒犯，孩子，但你看起来应该还在 No offence, son, but you look like you should still be 学校上学，低着头上厕所的小家伙 at school with your head down a fucking toilet. 第一个问题 关于冒犯的问题，恐怕我得接受 Your first point there, the offence? I'm afraid I'm going to have to take it. 第二个问题，我已经22岁了 但法律上还有9天才到我的生日 Your second point, I'm 22, but item, it's my birthday in nine days, so... 如果它的到来可以让你更有信心 我们可以到时再谈 if it will make you feel more comfortable, we could wait. 孩子，别挖苦我了 Don't get sarcastic with me, son. 我们曾经在1814年把这个城市烧成废墟 We burned this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814. 我很赞成再做一次 就从你这个混蛋开始 And I'm all for doing it again, starting with you, you frat fuck. 你再挖苦我 You get sarcastic with me again 我会把那些棉花塞进你该死的喉咙中 and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat 让那些棉花从你屁股出来 就像兔女郎的尾巴一样 it'll come out your arse like the tail on a Playboy bunny. 我竟然相信我被邀请参加军事委员会 I was led to believe I was attending the war committee. 是的，国务卿助理林顿先生 要我向你做简要的介绍 Yes, Assistant Secretary of State Linton Barwick asked me to brief you 关于未来计划委员会的基本工作 on the work of the Future Planning Committee. 我走了 I'm away. 这天杀的副总统 And here we are. The fucking Vice President 也用他那优美的姿态衬托了我们 has also graced us with his presence. 给他一杯牛奶 Give him a bottle of milk. 你没有叫醒我 You didn't wake me up. 那个念头闪过我的脑海 但你那时睡的很甜 The thought crossed my mind, but you just looked so sweet there. 你知道，倒时差就是这的 You know, with the jet lag and all. 我不知道，而我以为你知道你在做什么 I don't know, I thought you knew what you were doing. 不，很显然我不知道我在干么 我在睡觉 Well, no. Obviously I didn't know what I was doing, I was asleep. 人们是怎样穿过窗户 事情是怎样发生的我都不知道 That's how people walk through windows, that's how that happens. 丽莎？我接到了另一个电话 Hey, Liza? I've got another call 是参议员卢顿办公室打来的 关于军事委员会的 for you about the committee from Senator Crudden's office. 参议员卢顿？到底现在发生了什么？ Crudden? What is going on? 我的意思是，CNN是怎样知道这个委员会？ I mean, how did CNN know about the committee? 林顿是不是在脸谱网上贴了请帖什么的？ Did Linton post, like, an invite on Facebook or something? 丽莎，我想让你知道 每个人现在都对这份文件很有兴趣 Liza? Everyone is so hot for this paper, I just wanted to let you know. 我还要去另外复印多10份 I'm about to run off another ten copies. - 停停 - 像是哈利波特那本书 - Just stop. - It's like a Harry Potter book, 但是这个哈利波特让所有人都很愤怒 if Harry Potter made people really, really angry. 你现在相当红，像煮熟的龙虾那样红 You're in hot water, you're lobsterising. 你闻到龙虾味了？我可是闻到了 Do you smell lobster? Because I smell lobster. 很强烈，像浓汤的一样气味正飘过来 Strong... bisque wafting this way. 你和林顿相处的怎样？ How far would you go with Linton? 你是一个变态的追踪者 You freaky little stalker. 到哪儿都跟着他？像同性恋一样？ Downtown? Or all the way up Brokeback Mountain? 味道就像是浓汤，龙虾浓汤 Smells like bisque. Smells like bisque. (mobile rings) 军事委员会在哪里？我以为我去的是 Where's the war committee? I thought I was going. 西蒙去了，我以为你们是一对一处理 Simon's going. I thought you were doing your one-to-one? 该死的到底那个委员会在哪里 Where the fuck is it happening? 在政府部门大楼第七楼 It's in the State Department on the seventh floor. - 马尔科姆 - 什么？ - Malcolm? - What? 你想不想我现在告诉你 那里正在发生什么事情？ Do you like how I'm telling you what's going on where you are? 甜心，让我告诉你 你那里正在发生着什么事情 Let me tell you what's going on where you are, sweetheart. 某个哭丧着女人 A certain vinegar-faced, manipulative cowbag is about 将发现她该死的很快要失去… to discover that she's out of a fucking... …工作，妈的挂断了 你这该死的反复无常… job. Fucking hung up, haven't you? You fucking hoity-toity fucking... 嗨，伙计，你的脏话说太多了吧？ Hey, buddy? Enough with the curse words, all right? 亲我的蛋蛋吧，死胖子 Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck. - 那里有个手榴弹 - 我知道，我正盯着它 - There's the grenade. - I know, I'm looking at it. 他把穿越冲突之山放在画里了 He's got "Climb the mountain of conflict" on his picture. 贴在那上面？ TOBY: He's picked up on that? 我是个替死鬼 I'm a bumper sticker. 妈的，凯伦在那里 Shit, there's Karen Clark. 开会，开会 Have a meeting, have a meeting. 那个在各个地区传播的辨证逻辑怎么样？ What about the dialectic, as it spreads across the different territories? - 相当有趣的逻辑辨证… - 嘿，凯伦 - Interesting dialectic... - Oh, hi. 嗨，我们在委员会见 Hi. I'll see you at the committee. 我们正在整理一些东西 We're just sorting out a bit of prep... 很好，好极了 Very good, that's great. - 丽莎，他们还在那里 - 我知道，我告诉他们委员会在哪里了 - Liza. They're still here. - I know. I told them where it was. 好，我们出发，来吧 OK, let's go, let's go. Come on. 快点，我们必须跟紧点，我们开始工作 Quick, we've got to keep up with them, now. Let's roll. 不不，你不能说我们工作吧 在这里他们不喜欢这样说 No, you can't say "let's roll", they don't like it here. 看起来很疯狂 那只是被要求加入委员会的人 That's just who asked to be in on the committee, it's crazy. - 嗨 - 你好 - Yeah. - Hello. 你想和我们一起进去 还是我们在委员会再见？ Are you joining us or shall we see you there? 哦，很抱歉，不了 我们等会在那里见 Oh, I'm so sorry. No, see you there. 我不需要进去里面做任何… I don't need to do any of the things 你要进去做的事情 所以我还是在委员会那里等你吧 that you need to go in there to do, so I'll just see you there. - 托比，你需要上厕所吗？ - 不不 - Toby, do you need to use the? - No, no, no. - 不用 - 好的 - I don't need the restroom. - All right, OK. 他们疯了 Yeah, they're insane. 在哪里？ Where is it? 不知道，我们只能在这等 I don't know. We can wait here. 我们在这里绕绕 当她们出来，我们就再跟着她们 Wait round here. When they come out, we'll follow them again. 后面还有很多位置 Plenty of room down the back. （前景规划委员会） 我们看起来像弄了一场暴乱，鲍勃？ We seem to be overrun with insurgents, Bob, huh? 消息泄露了，真的，没有开玩笑？ BOB: There must have been a leak. - Really, no kidding? - 难以置信！ - 这是在摔跤吗？这个是铃？ - Unbelievable! - Is this the wrestling? Is that the ring? 米勒将军在那里 There's General Miller. 我认为我们最好转移地方 找个更大的会场 I think it's best that we move, reconvene to a bigger, a larger venue. 跟着我，带上议事日程 - If you follow my lead... - Take an agenda. 请带上议事日程，我们需要严格遵守它 Please take an agenda, we want to stick to that. 一群傻瓜，CNN 怎么会知道这个 KAREN: This is a cluster fuck. How did CNN know about this? - 拿好那个 - 你能让米勒签了这个？ - Hold onto that one! - Could you get Miller to sign it? 无论如何完成这个都需要很大精力 If we could do this with a certain amount of energy. 这边走，各位 Just this way, folks. 哞！ Moo! 找一个你觉得舒服的位置 Find a chair, wherever you're comfortable. 这边坐多点人 More this way. 好极了，我又在案板上了 Excellent. I'm room meat again. 这里是大规模的屠宰场 This is a massive abattoir of room meat. 正如你所知道的，凯伦和我并不欣赏 Just so you know, Karen and I did not appreciate 偷偷摸摸的行动 having to skulk around like Mulder and Scully 所以我们想弄明白这个委员会 to find out about the committee. 所以，你们都在这里了，约翰和优卡？ Well, you're both here now, huh, John and Yoko? 我们需要谈谈 We need to talk. 明天12:30到我办公室？ How about my office, 12:30 tomorrow, huh? 你走吧 OK, off you go. - 什么意思？ - 这里交给我就好了 - What do you mean? - I've got this covered. 出去找别的线索，找那个切德谈谈 那个阳光男孩 Go and find the next thing. Talk to that Chad boy, the boy from The Shining. 他知道一些事情 He knows things. - 不要叫我去追问他 - 不，我就是让你现在过去盘问他 - Don't make me pump Chad. - No, I'm making you pump Chad. 去吧，这回会简单很多 Go on, it'll be easy-peasey lemon-squeezy. 不，不会的，这将会很困难 困难到难以形容 No, it won't. It'll be difficult, difficult, lemon difficult, that is what it'll be. 祝你有个美好下午，停止对我的轰炸 Have a lovely afternoon. Stop a war for me. 所以，欢迎大家来到这个塞的满满的 So, welcome to the somewhat engorged 未来计划委员会会议 session of the Future Planning Committee. 对了，国务卿助理，议会日程第六条 KAREN: Yes, Assistant Secretary, on point six, 我感觉我们正在侵略 it feels like there's already been an assumption that we're invading 你不觉得我们应该为这种暗示讨论一下？ and don't you think that we should discuss the practical implications? 我的意思是，这毕竟是一个军事委员会 I mean, this is, after all, the war committee. 这是未来计划委员会 This is the Future Planning Committee. 好吧，非正式的 我们称它是战争委员会 Well, unofficially, it is called the war committee. 凯伦，如果非正式的话 我们可以根据我们喜好叫它什么都可以 Well, Karen, unofficially, we can call anything whatever we want. 我的意思是，非正式的，这是一个鞋子 但是其实它不是，它只是一杯水 I mean, unofficially, this is a shoe, but it's not, Karen, it is a glass of water. 而这个是未来计划委员会 And this is the Future Planning Committee. 额，非正式的话，这个也可以是狗屎 Well, unofficially, this appears to be bullshit. 嘿 Hey. - 这些都是什么？ - 写着穿越战争的高峰 - What's all this? - "Climb the mountain of conflict!" 我们正在选择一种看起来合适的字体 We're just choosing a font for what looks appropriate. 这种国务卿的字体你觉得怎样？ What about that font the SS used? 你想过用这种吗？ Have you thought about using that one? 额，好的，很明显有一些 不是很好的内在涵义 Er... well, that obviously has bad connotations. 重金属字体？ Heavy metal? - 不，还是国务卿字体吧 - 哦，好吧 - No, the SS. - Oh, right. 原则上，是否已经有 提倡侵略的政策被通过了？ Has a decision already been made, in principle, to advocate invasion? 在这方面，我想参考一下最近的评论 I would refer you to the recent comments 这些评论来自我们英国的同僚，西蒙先生 of our colleague from the UK, Mr Simon Foster, in that regard. 我的确已经听过双方的意见了 Yes, I think that Mr Foster would have something to say to that. 没错，我想西蒙先生有些东西想说一下 I'm... I'm certainly hearing both sides. 在英国，我们有一个说法 假如出现了像我们这样的情况 In England we have a saying for a situation such as this, 那就是这很困难，困难… Which is that it's difficult, difficult... …十分困难 ...lemon difficult. 的确如此，嗯？ 我认为我们正逐步达成共识 You betcha. Huh? I do think a consensus is forming. 不不，不是那样的 你那样说毫无根据，荒谬至极 No, No, it's not, and you have no basis for saying that. 凯伦，冷静点 LINTON: Karen, calm down. 我们不想再次看到你牙龈出血 Because we don't want you to have another haemorrhage. 林顿！林顿！ MALCOLM: Linton! Linton! 腾克先生，没错吧？很高兴再次见到你 Mr Tucker, isn't it? Nice to see you again. 你在戏弄我吗？ Are you fucking me about? 出什么问题了，腾克先生？ Is there a problem, Mr Tucker? 刚才给我介绍详情的是一个九岁的小孩 I've just come from a briefing with a nine-year-old child. 你是指AJ，AJ是我们最优秀的成员之一 You're talking about AJ. AJ is one of our top guys. 斯坦顿大学预科高中毕业后 进入哈佛大学 He's a Stanton College Prep, Harvard. 属于这里最聪明，最棒的 One of the brightest and best. 他的备忘都是用字母面拼成的 Well, his briefing notes were written in alphabetti spaghetti. 我走的时候，差点被他该死的脐带绊倒 When I left, I nearly tripped up over his fucking umbilical cord. 我们的工作人员年轻有为使您苦恼 I'm sorry it troubles you that our people 对此我只能说抱歉 achieve excellence at such an early age. 但是我们能不能谈重点？ But could we just move on to what's important here? 我知道贵国首相要求您 Now, I understand that your Prime Minister has asked you 为我们提供一些最新的英国情报 是这样吧？ to supply us with some, say, fresh British intelligence, is that true? 是的，很明显 你们这优等民族天赋极高的学步儿童 Yeah, apparently, your fucking master race of highly-gifted toddlers - 无法胜任这工作… - 好吧 - can't quite get the job done... - All right. …一边要喝母乳一边又要玩变形战士 ...between breast feeds and playing with their Power Rangers. 所以，一个真正的成年人被要求 来他妈的帮助你脱离困境 So, an actual grown-up has been asked to fucking bail you out. 啊，署长，多谢您的支持 我们不胜感激 Ah, Minister. Thank you so much for your support, we appreciate it. 您是怎么说的，攀登冲突的山峰？ And what did you say, that "Climb the mountain of conflict"? - 没错，说得太好了 - 这很复杂 凭我的… - Right, that's terrific. - It's quite complicated in terms of my... 我的朋友们，现在还是初期 条条大陆通慕尼黑 It's early days, my friend. All roads lead to Munich. 条条大路通慕尼黑？ 他妈的是什么意思？ "All roads lead to Munich"? What the fuck does that mean? 我觉得意思是… 其实，我也不知道是什么意思 I think it just means... Actually, I don't know what it means. 看到没？把那拔掉了，美国就瘪气了 TOBY: You see that? Pull that out, America deflates. 是啊，嘲笑总是很容易 你永远也做不到那样 Yeah, very easy to mock. The closest you'll come to getting one of those 最多也就是买一块他妈的 瑞士三角巧克力 is buying a fucking Toblerone. 我在车里等你们，走吧，回伦敦 I'll meet you in the car. Come on, back to London. 我们回去面对的是什么？ So, what are we going back to 除了一杯茶和一些持刀犯罪 apart from a nice cup of tea and some knife crime? 接待北安普顿选区选民 Constituency surgery in Northampton. 哦，太好了 Oh, great. 与我的选民见面 Meeting my constituents. 就好像变成西蒙•考威尔 （《英国达人》评委）但是却无法说 It's like being Simon Cowell but without the ability to say, 滚开，你疯了 "Fuck off you're mental." 英国 北安普敦郡 次日早上 门卡住了 SIMON: It's stuck. 西蒙，别这样好不好？ WOMAN: Simon, do you mind? 如果用力的踢底部的话，门就能开了 If you just kick it at the bottom really hard, that should do it. 我去处理排水系统 I'm just going to go and deal with that guttering. 我们刚从美国回来，罗兹 We've just come back from America, Roz. 嗯，总统怎么样？ Right. How was the President? 很好，确实很好 Good, actually. Yeah. 好 Good. 哦，天啊，从白宫到狗窝 简直是天壤之别 Oh, dear, how the mighty have fallen. From White House to shitehouse. 事实上，老兄，抱歉，该死的 你能钻到下面去吗？ Actually, mate, sorry, fuck this, could you get under there? - 这样好一点没有？ - 没有 - Is that any better? - No. 如果我们一开始就不知道这个化粪池在哪 This septic tank, if we didn't even know it was there in the first place, 为什么现在我们要承担责任？ how come we're responsible for it now? 我觉的问题的根源 I think what's causing the problem 在于它不是市政化粪池 is that it's not actually a council septic tank. - 你应该把问题交由我们处理 - 是吗？ - You should leave this to us now. - Really? 当然，我完全同意你的看法 Certainly, I'm completely on board. - 真的？ - 感谢您的到来 - Is he? - Thanks for coming in. - 好吗？ - 好，谢谢 - All right? - Right, yes, thank you. - 谢谢 - 十分感谢 - Thank you. - Thanks very much. 谢了 Thanks. - 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello. - 福斯特先生 - 叫我西蒙就行了 - Mr Foster. - Call me Simon. - 好的 - 你见过罗兹 - Right, OK. - You've met Roz. - 没错，我见过 - 好极了 - I know I have. - Lovely. 我知道你很忙，所以我长话短说 那边有一个人 I'll keep it brief, I know you're a busy man. There's a fellow there 想阻止人们在商店讲外语 who wants to stop people talking in foreign languages in shops. 嗯，这些商店有时能够吸引… Yeah. Well, this sometimes can be a magnet 一些精神上没有强烈归属感的人 for people who are slightly mentally dispossessed. 还有，像你这样通情达理的人，保罗 And also very sensible people, like yourself, Paul. - 保罗，要不这样… - 兄弟，你不要摆出高人一等的派头 - Paul, why don't you just... - Don't you fucking patronise me, mate. 保罗，要不你概述一下情况吧 Paul, why don't you just outline the whole issue? 好的，行，我再说一遍 Right, OK, I'll tell you again. 你的选民的墙 Your constituency side wall... - 嗯 - …快要塌了 - Uh-huh. ...is falling down. 你的墙…快塌进我妈的花园了 Your wall... is falling into my mother's garden. 她曾经给办事处打过电话 但是被搪塞过去了 She tried to call the office, but she was fobbed off. 被你的人搪塞过去了 因为她不是开着时髦汽车的高级官员 Fobbed off by your people, because she's not Lord Snooty in a posh car 也不是骑着马的麦当娜 or Madonna on a horse. 呃，我…我自己也觉得这类事情非常恼人 Well, that I... I find that sort of thing incredibly irritating myself. 伦敦接来的电话，是凯伦•克拉克，急事 It's a patch from London, it's Karen Clark. Urgent. - 嘿？不好意思，我是透明的啊 - 抱歉，保罗 - Hello? Sorry, I'm not here. - Sorry, Paul. - 这电话我必须接 - 我被搪塞了吗？ - I have to take this. - Am I being fobbed off? 当然不是 Absolutely not. 这和被搪塞有什么区别？ What's the difference between being fobbed off and what happened? 西蒙，我会让你记住我的 You won't be able to forget me, Simon. 西蒙，发生什么事请了？ What's going on there, Simon? 是…是部门事务，关于一堵墙 It's... It's departmental business. It's about a wall. - 哦，加沙？ - 嗯 - Oh, Gaza? - Uh-huh. 西蒙，我在想委员会上你干什么去了 I'm wondering where you were in committee, Simon. 我需要后援 你却像坨屎一样坐在那里动都不动 I called for back-up and you sat there like a dumb sack of shit. 也许更差劲 因为，事实上，从分子角度来讲 Only maybe worse, because, actually, on a molecular level, 屎也许还嘶嘶的散发着能量 shit is probably fizzling with energy. 我不得不说，凯伦 对此事我有明确的策略 I have to say, Karen, I do have a clear strategy on this, 我要打…打持久战 which is I'm playing... playing the long game. 西蒙，我还没走 PAUL: Still here, Simon. 他们已经迫使我们打速决战了 你却坐在那儿，像个… They've bounced us into a short game, and you just sat there like a... 英国人怎么说的？下流胚子 What do you call it in England? A wanker. 不，我们不是那么说的 No, we don't call it that. 保罗，保罗l ROZ: Paul. Paul. 也许如果我在胸前绑个炸弹的话 会更受重视 Perhaps if I had a bomb strapped to my chest, I'd get more attention. 他提到了炸弹 He's mentioned the matter of a bomb. 我不会引爆炸弹的 我在国民托管组织工作 I'm not going to let a bomb off, I work for the National Trust. 我怎么知道你不会引爆炸弹？ How do I know you're not going to let a bomb off? 听着，保罗，我把我的手机号码给你 Listen, Paul, why don't I give you, the details of my cell - 这样你就能够… - 移动电话号码 - so that you... - Mobile phone details. - 移动电话号码 - 保罗，你有移动电话吗？ - Mobile phone details. - Have you got a mobile, Paul? - 我当然有移动电话 - 罗兹 - Of course I've got a fucking mobile! - Roz. 你有什么问题啊？ What is wrong with you? 五百万像素 Five megapixels. 我们去看一下墙好吗？ 这样你满意吗？ Can we see the wall? Would that satisfy you? - 算是个开始 - 我们还是朋友？走吧 - Well, it's a start. - Friends again? Let's go and do it. 我不是…不是你朋友 我不是你的朋友 I'm not... not your friend, and I'm not your friend. 谢谢 Thank you. 不客气 That's a pleasure. 谢谢 Thank you. 好了，好了，我好了 Done. I'm done, I'm done. - 谢谢 - 我们去具体看一下那堵墙吧 - Thank you. - Let's go have a good look at that wall. 还有四个选民 你觉得还有几个会像他那样？ Four more constituents. How many do you think are going to be like that? 好吧，等等 OK, hang on. 还有委员会曝光了 是你的部门的人做的 Also the committee got leaked and that leak came from your department. 必须有人为此受罚 I want a head on a plate, to go. 你又不是我老板，呃…滚开！ You're not my boss. Er... fuck off! 你无权要求我解雇员工 You can't make me sack people. 她为什么想这么做？ Why does she want someone sacked? 她说有人泄密了… Ah, she said there's a leak... 在美国召开的委员会会议细节被曝光了 The detail of the committee meeting in America was made public. 有些不该去的人也去了 There shouldn't have been as many people there. 哦 她想解雇谁？ Right, and who does she want sacked? - 我们办公室的人 - 哦 - Somebody from our office. - Right. 别提了，来，下一位 Let's forget it. Come on, next person. - 会不会是朱迪？ - 也许吧 - Could it have been Judy? - Probably. 朱迪，能来我办公室吗 我有话跟你说 SIMON: Judy, can you come into my office, I need a word? 稍等，托比，电话，找你的 One second. Tobes, that's for you. 谁打的？ What is it? - 那个疯子，说墙的事 - 战争？（与墙同音） - It's that madman about the wall. - The war? 墙！ Wall! Eugh. 能不能麻烦你来我办公室 好让我训斥你？ Will you please come into my office so I can give you a bollocking? - 好，好的，好的，怎么了？ - 喂，你好 JUDY: Yeah, OK, OK, what? - Hello. - 啊！妈的！ - 我有话跟你讲 - Argh! Fucker! - I want a word with you. 还有你，该死的夏洛特•勃朗特 （英国作家） And you, Charlotte fucking Brontě. 保罗，我能为你做什么？ What can I do for you, Paul? 还记得你们沿墙放置的扶壁吗？ You know those buttresses that you had put up for the wall? 它们实在是太不坚固了 They are utterly insubstantial 即使外行都看的出来 现在它们就在我眼前 to even the untrained eye, and I'm looking at them. 而我是个内行 And my eye's trained. 是，我明白，我确实…我理解 No, I get that, I do... I understand that. 如果墙塌了，而我妈又正好在暖房里 If that wall collapsed and my mother was in the greenhouse, 她会被压死的 that could crush her to death. 你知道她今年多大了吗？ 告诉记者你的年龄 Do you know how old she is? Tell the reporter how old you are. 我60岁 I'm 60. 她60…你他妈的不是60！ She's 60... You're not fucking 60! 如果要登报，我就是60 If it's going in the newspaper, I'm 60. 奥莉维亚•牛顿•琼今年60 而且不用抗血脂药，是吧？ Olivia Newton-John's 60 and she's not on the fucking statins, is she? - 我没有泄密 - 你他妈给我站住 - I didn't leak anything. - Don't you fucking walk out on me. - 我去倒杯茶 - 让她喝杯茶吧 - I'm just getting my tea. SIMON: Let her get a cup of tea. 这阵子你能否让你母亲离墙远一点 Could you just get your mum to stay away from the wall for the time being? 办不到，她得给植物浇水 She can't stay away, she's got to water her plants. 也许她能站在远处用水管浇水？ Could she maybe do it with a hose, from a distance? 她用的是喷壶！ She's got a watering can! 冷静，保罗，冷静 Calm down, Paul, calm down. 我不是…我是他妈的禅宗信徒 I'm not... I'm fucking Zen. 美国国务院 长官，我带了双节棍，以备不时之需 I've brought my nunchucks if you need them, sir. 去看看会开的怎么样了 See how the meeting goes. 12:30 12:30. 稍等，将军？ Hold on. General? 呃…林顿•巴维克部长让我转告您 Yeah... Secretary Linton Barwick asked me to let you know 他的上一个会议超出了预计时间 that his last meeting looks like it's overrunning, 他深表歉意 He sends his apologies. 他什么时候能到这？ When will he be here? 目前我也不知道 I don't have that information at this moment. 搞什么？ What the fuck? 啊？ Huh? - 他是不是爽约了？ - 不，不是的，长官 - Did he stand me up? - No, no, sir. - 建议您最好还是等等 - 你知道我想干什么吗？ - You're more than welcome to wait. - Do you know what I'm going to do? 我要在他桌上好好拉一坨屎 I'm going to take a nice big shit on his desk, 让他知道我来过，你对此有意见吗？ just to let him know that I was here. Is that OK with you? 长官，我觉得他不会喜欢您那么做的 I don't think he'd like that too much, sir. 您可以等待，我们有一些不错的期刊 You can wait. We have some very interesting periodicals. - 譬如… - 哦，是啊 - There's um... - Oh, yeah. 国难当头，你让我看期刊？啊？ You want me to read a periodical at this time of national crisis? Huh? 坐在这里看报纸？ Sit here with my thumb up my ass reading a paper? 看什么？哪个小明星又风流了吗？ Finding out what? Which little starlet fucked some guy this week? 不是的，长官，我不是那个意思 No, I wasn't suggesting that, sir. 把这个给你上司 Give this to your boss. 好的 Yeah. 让开 Get out of my way. 哦，我的天，怎么了？ KAREN: Oh, my God. What's up? 该死的林顿放我鸽子 Fucking Linton stood me up. 他把我耍的团团转 He's playing me like a turkey stick on a bass drum. 你知道他在哪吗？他在打壁球 Do you know where he is? He's playing squash. 和这个傻瓜？ MILLER: With this little fucking twit? 不，不是和…不，那是切德 No, not with... No, that's Chad. 他每天都背着装备 因为他期待有一天能去打壁球 He just carries that every day, because he's hoping to play squash. 我本来正打算吃午饭，你吃的下吗？ 要来点吗？ I was going to eat lunch in here. Can you digest? Do you want some food? 哦，没错，我吃的下，来点吧 Oh, yes, I can digest, yes. 中餐行吗？ Chinese OK? 为什么不给我点些小型哺乳动物？ Why don't you order me some little mammals? 小兔，小狗，小猫 A little bunny and a little puppy, and a little cat, 这样我就能拧断它们的脖子 喝它们的血 so I can twist their fucking neck off and drink their blood. 好了，好了，行了 My, my. All right. 福斯特花纳税人的钱乘喷气式飞机 While Foster jets around at the taxpayers' expense, 而他的选民墙要塌了，他却屁都不关心 his constituency wall is collapsing and he doesn't give a shit. 报上不是那么说的吧？ It doesn't say that? 不是，说的是，超级无敌掌门墙 No. But it does say "Wall-ace And Gromit". 但可以解释为，修墙能手 Wall-ace, though. 报上把你描述成了北安普顿头号蠢材 You're being portrayed as the biggest twat in Northamptonshire. 相信我，我有更重要的事情要做 I've got bigger fish to fry, believe me. 我要把这事交给别人办，杰米！ I'm giving this to somebody else. Jamie! 啊，苏格兰最愤怒的人 Ah, the crossest man in Scotland. （杰米•麦克唐纳 高级新闻发布官） 啊，这不是矮胖子吗 Well, if it isn't Humpty Numpty. 这算什么？围攻？ What is this? Surround bollocking? 嘿，恕我直言，我话还没说完呢 Hey, with due respect, I hadn't finished. 这不是矮胖子么，像个傻蛋一样的 If it isn't Humpty Numpty sitting on top of a collapsing wall 坐在一堵快要坍塌的墙上 like some clueless egg cunt. 好了，我说完了 Now, I'm finished. 嗨，杰米，这是托比 Hi, Jamie, this is Toby. 哦，额…托比•赖斯，西蒙的助手 Oh, um... Toby Rice, I'm Simon's aide. 嗨，托比，托比见到你很高兴，请坐 Hi, Toby, Toby. Very pleased to meet you. Please sit down. 好了，说够了牛津剑桥式的客套话 Now, right, that's enough of all the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries. - 打招呼和牛津剑桥有什么关系？ - 闭嘴，真爱至上！ - What's Oxbridge about saying hello? - Shut it, Love Actually! 想要我在你脸上打个洞吗？ Do you want me to hole punch your face? 好了，我要去处理生死攸关的大事了 Right, I'm off to deal with the fate of the planet. 对他们温柔点 Be gentle with them. 好，马尔克，你了解我的，小心处理… 我会很小心的 Oh, you know me, Malc. Kid gloves... but made from real kids. 好了，男女同志 这篇关于墙的报道可不怎么好 Right, Butch and Gaydance, this wall story is playing badly. 这边还有张你的漫画，是一只海象 There's a cartoon of you in here as a walrus. 海象？ A walrus? 我又不胖，连八字胡都没有 I'm not fat, I don't even have a moustache. 妈的，还给我画了暴牙 Fuck, they've given me tusks. - 海 象 - 是的，我知道 - Wal-rus. - Yes, I know. 明白吗？象,墙（讽刺） You get it? Wal-rus, wal-rus. 我们给建筑工人打过电话了 但他们没有按时出现 We called some builders. They didn't turn up when they said they would. 你想怎么样？ What did you expect? 他们只不过是建筑工人！ They're builders! 你见过哪部电影的主角是建筑工人的？ Have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? 没有，从来没有 因为他们从来不在危机时刻现身 No, no, because they never fucking turn up in the nick of time. 蝙蝠建筑工人？蜘蛛建筑工人？啊？ Bat-builder? Spider-builder? Huh? 这就是你从来看不到 超级英雄背着砖斗的原因 That's why you never see a superhero with a hod. 我的看法是，马尔科姆在实验室 You know, my theory is Malcolm built him in a lab 用疯子的器官拼凑出了现在的自己 out of bits of old psychopath. 你们好，女士们 Hello, ladies. 好，我正要去吧台 OK, well, I'm just going to go to the bar. 正好，我们在喝桑塞尔白葡萄酒 Good idea, we're on the Sancerre. - 如果你买的起的话 - 如果吧台有人理你的话 - If you can afford that. - If you can get served at the bar. 谢谢你，奥斯卡•怀尔德（英国作家） 可能没人会理他，上帝保佑他 - Yes, thank you, Oscar Wilde. - He might not get served, bless him. 托比有短信，等等 Toby's got a message. Hang on. 是什么？ What's that? - 哦，哇，我不敢相信 - 怎么啦？ - Oh, fucking wow, I don't believe it. - What? 我不…我不相信，他又这样了 I don't fucking... I don't believe it, he's done it again. 混蛋，他太混了 Little shit, he's such a shit. 怎么啦？ What? - 他来了 - 给 - Here he is. - There you are. 威斯敏斯特最优质的桑塞尔白葡萄酒 The finest Sancerre in the Westminster reach. 你和丽莎上床了 是吗？ So, this Liza, you shagged her, yeah? 什么？没有 What? No. 你知道他和华盛顿的一个书呆子有染吗？ Were you aware he was ball-deep in some Washington wonk? - 苏西！ - 我对他的老二一无所知 - Suzy! - I didn't know anything about his balls. 我们能不能不要讨论我的老二 不要指责… Can we not discuss my balls and accusations in... 告诉我为什么，嗯？ Just tell me why. Huh? 我不知道，苏西 当时那边的情况很奇怪，很紧张 I don't know, Suzy. It was very weird over there, very intense. 是啊 Right. 也许，我也不知道 从某种程度上来说，潜意识里 Maybe, I don't know, on some level, subconsciously, 就像…就像…就像拼死一搏… it was like a... it was just... it was a last-ditch attempt to... …想阻止… 一场可怕的战争，你明白吗？ ...stop this... awful war, you know? 从某种…我的意思是 显然，我不是故意去… Just on a... I mean, you know, I don't mean, obviously, to try... - 哇 - 不足为奇 - Wow. - That's classic. …去阻止战争发生 ...to try and actually stop it. 托比你刚是不是说 你通过和别人上床来阻止战争爆发？ Toby, did you just say that you had sex to stop the war? 不，不是，不是的 No, no, no. 一次反战性爱？托比，你这么想？ 那实在是…哇 An anti-war shag? Is that what you thought, Toby? Because, that's... Wow. 我们能不能换个地方讨论这个话题 Can we just go and discuss this 因为这里实在是有太多 吃着零食的大孩子了 somewhere where there aren't enormous children eating snacks? 张三有大炮，李四有枪… He's got his little cannons and he's got his little guns, and... …平民想开战的问题就在于 ...this is the problem with civilians wanting to go to war. 一旦亲历过，一旦亲眼见过 Once you've been there, once you've seen it, 你就再也不想经历第二次 除非你没得选 you never want to go again, unless you absolutely fucking have to. 就像法国 It's like France. 还有没有其它吃的？ Is there anything besides this to eat? 吃点别的，这个有蛋白质，吃那个吧 Have something else. This has got a little protein, have that. 这是什么，鱼屁股？ What's this, fish ass? - 我想你看过丽莎的报告了吧？ - 是的 - So, you read Liza's paper, I guess? - Yeah, 我是个求知欲极强的读者 I'm a voracious reader. 我是国防部的戈尔•维达尔 I am the Gore Vidal of the Pentagon. 戈尔是同性恋 Gore's gay. 不，他不是 No, he's not. 很抱歉，我不敢苟同… I beg to differ, but... 他是同性恋？ 我还一直自诩为戈尔•维达尔 He's gay? Because I've been saying that Gore Vidal line. 他确实是同性恋 He is gay. 我想那我最好还是别那么说了 Guess, I'd better stop saying that, then. 太荒谬了 It's ridiculous. 反战理由比支持战争的理由更充分 The case against war is far stronger than the case for war 支持战争的理由都被曲解了 and the case for war is caveated all to hell. 许多分析家认为美国正准备 "Most analysts believe the state is looking 扩张领土 to expand aggressively beyond its borders." 然后你看下面的注释 唯一的线索是冰人 Then you look down the caveats. "The only source is "Ice Man". - 有可能是个酒鬼 - 他一天也许要吸十包冰毒 A possible alcoholic" - he probably does ten bags of methamphetamine a day. 吸冰的人 The Ice Man. 如果这个人确实存在的话 If he even exists. 国际标准化比值显示我们不能相信他 这和我们的情报不一致 "The INR says we can't trust him." We're disputing our own intelligence. 我们应该要把这个曝光 We should leak this, you know. 你想什么时候曝光？ When do you wanna leak it? 我？ Me? - 你刚不是那个意思吗？ - 不是 - Isn't that what you were suggesting? - No. 你不用承认是你亲口说的 You don't have to say that it came from you. 不 我不会泄露消息的 No, I'm not leaking it. 丽莎今天看起来很漂亮 Liza looks good today. - 林顿看过这份报告没？ - 我以为他是文盲 - I mean, has Linton read this thing? - I don't think Linton reads. 你为什么不等几个星期让事情平静？ MAN: Why don't you give it a couple of weeks to settle down? 哦，太好了，来的正好 反战混蛋回来了 SUZY: Oh, great, just what we need. Old Anti-war Fuck is back. - 他妈的可酷乐队在这干吗？ - 你在这干吗？ - What the fuck's Cocoon doing here? - What are you doing here? - 我住在这里 - 事实上托比，你不住在这了 - Well, I live here. - Well, you don't, actually, Toby. - 迈克尔，再给你倒杯茶如何？ - 好，麻烦了，再来一杯 - Want another cup of tea, Michael? - Yes, please. I'd love one. - 好吧 - 我要把厨房里所有属于我的东西拿走 OK, right, I'm taking all my stuff from the kitchen. - 需要我离开吗？ - 不，你别动 - Do you want me to go? - No, you stay there. 他在拿他的布里干酪和红辣椒 He's just getting his brie and his peri-peri. - 要我帮他打包吗？ - 还有我的榅K果酱 - Do you want me to help him pack? - And certainly my quince paste. 榅K果酱，真是个鸟人 Quince paste, he's such a prick. 我上楼去帮收拾他的衣服 Just going to gather up his shit clothes. 闭嘴 Shut up. 应该这么叠 That's not how you fold them. 我他妈的又不是去斐济岛 我是被扫地出门 I'm not going to fucking Fiji, I'm getting chucked out of my house. 它们一会都要进塑料垃圾袋的 They're all going in bin liners. 拿出来的时候会有区别的 It makes all the difference at the other end. 重点是他们不会被拿出来 There is no other end, that's the point. - 她胸很大吗？ - 哦，天啊 - Has she got big tits? - Oh, Christ alive. 是的，事实上，她胸很大 非常大，没错 Yes, actually, she has. She's got massive tits. Yes. 上谷歌地球搜索一下 它们还有专属区号 Look them up on Google Earth. They've got their own postcode. 它们太大了 They're so enormous that they actually 以至于把周围的胸都吸了进去 suck in other tits from the surrounding area. 就像你的？ Like you? 谢谢，那再见了 Thanks. See you, then. 好的 OK. 额 Um... 苏西，在这种情况下说这些 可能有点奇怪… Suzy, this is probably going to sound a bit odd under the circumstances, but... 很快的再做一次？ A quickie? 不，谢谢，不用了 No. Thank you, but no. 是关于丽莎的 It's about Liza. 丽莎写了一篇报告 题目是《执行控制计划》 Liza wrote a paper, it's called PWIP PIP. - 执行什么？ - 执行控制计划 - PWIP what? - PWIP PIP. 谁写的？查尔斯•狄更斯？ Who wrote that? Charles Dickens? - 战后规划影响… - 知道了，知道了 - Post War Planning lmplications... - Yeah, all right. 没错，我在想 如果这篇报告曝光了能够延缓战争 Right. I think, it could, if it was leaked, stop this kind of rush towards a war, 太快发生，那样子 you know, too quickly, that sort of thing. - 如果被曝光了 - 你太没种了 - Just if it was leaked. - You are such a coward. 带着你的无穷个人魅力和你的衣服 Take your backlog of Mojo and your shit clothes, 还有你八分之一的毒品和 吸毒管给我滚 and your eighth of dope and your flute and piss off. 好吧，我把它放在这里 OK, I'll just leave it there. - 我需要建议 - 把车子搞定 - I need advice myself. - Let's take care of the car. 这不应该在这出现 不应该在这出现 This should not be here. This should not be here. 先生，各位 MAN: Sir. Everyone. - 车备好了吗？ - 先生，都准备好了 - The car is ready? - All taken care of, sir. - 我在处理旅行事宜 - 为什么大家都跑来跑去的？ - I'm handling travel. - Why are people running around? 这最好是该死的消防演习 This had better be a fucking fire drill. 总统刚宣布 他否决对中国进口汽车征税的议案 The President just announced he's vetoing tariffs on Chinese auto imports. 也就是说，他想讨好中国人？ That means, right, he's buttering the Chinese up? 那说明他需要中国人 在安理会上至少要投弃权票 That he needs the Chinese to at least abstain on the Security Council. 哦，那我们要去联合国咯 OK, so we're going to the UN. - 是的，我们要去联合国 - 该死 - Yes, we're going to the UN. - Shit. 你为什么不早点告诉我，丽莎？ Why didn't you tell me, Liza? 自从我造出了财政赤字后 Since I created the budget deficit, 总统就不怎么说事给我听了 the President doesn't tend to run things by me any more. 不要跟我放肆，我没心情和你开玩笑 Don't get funny with me. I am not in the mood to joke. 我…我明白 I'm... I'm getting that. 如果你说我们十分钟后出发 那就意味着我们立刻就要动身 If you say we're leaving in ten minutes that means we're leaving right now. 不是我不相信你 但是我确实不相信你 Not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust you. 我要去林顿的办公室 I am gonna go into Linton's office 把那颗手榴弹上的拉环拉掉 and I'm gonna pull the little pin on that fucking grenade. - 千万别 - 开玩笑的 - Don't do that. - I'm fucking joking. 我不会那么做的 I'm not gonna do that. 正好电梯来了 We have an elevator waiting for us. - 很好，进去 - 非常感谢… Good. Step in, thank you very much, just... 我只是… I just... 这份工作压力太大，你知道吗？ This job is incredibly stressful, you know that? 西蒙，你不用驯狮 Simon, you're not a lion tamer, 也不打斯诺克 you're not a snooker player. 我不想支持战争，朱迪 I don't want to back a war, Judy. 听着，一会给点暗示，点点头眨眨眼 Look, put some hints out there, put some nods and some winks out 假意提到我在考虑辞职的事情，好吗？ 看看首相有没有反应 that I'm toying with resignation, OK? See if the PM reacts. - 你想让我眨眼？ - 还要点头，是的 - You want me to put out some winks? - And nods, yeah. 什么？用力点头？ What? Big nods? 不，不，就是那种…那种点头 No, no, just sort of... that sort of size nod. 好的 OK. 不，不，那太用力了 No, no, that's much too big. 我只是很平常的点了点头 目的是告诉你我明白你要我怎么做 I'm just nodding normally to say I understand the need for a small nod. 哦，好，好的，对不起，好的 Oh, yeah. No, no, sorry, yeah. 好了，我亲爱的朋友们，底线是… All right now, my lovely friends, the bottom line is... 哦，天啊，我讨厌那个词，底线 Oh, God, I hate that phrase. "Bottom line." 我们又不是做零售业的 I mean, we're not in retailing. 对不起，迈克尔说的对，我会换个词 Sorry. Michael's quite right. I won't use that again. 底线是美国总统要去联合国 The bottom line is the President is going to the UN. 这次投票将会是军事干预的开端 This will be the vote to commence military intervention. (mobile rings) 首相决定要我们加入 And the Prime Minister has decided that we should join him. 罗伯，因尼斯 Rob, Innis, 小鬼杰克，还有妈的李基•明布克斯 Little Bo Cock Jockey and the Leakey Fucking Mingebox, 回到你们办公桌 go back to your desks 现在就开始准备简介 and prepare to start briefing now. 迈克尔能不能借你的办公室一用？ Michael, do you mind if we use your office? - 什么？ - 就几分钟？ - What? - For a couple of minutes? 迈克尔，真不好意思 底线是，你能不能再出来一下？ Yeah. Michael, sorry. Bottom line is, can you come out again? 额…可能需要把音乐给关了 (operatic singing) - Um... might need to turn the music off. 好的 Yes. - 好的 - 好 - Right. - OK. 从现在开始我说的话都有倾向性 So, this is all going to spin along from here. 我们将投票表决，然后开战 We're going to have a vote and go to war. 我们要打仗，杀人 我们的孩子也会被杀 We'll fight people, kill them. Our children will get killed. 而这些事情恰恰是 This is exactly the sort of thing 我进入政界时不想看到的 that I didn't want to do when I went into politics. 与我的初衷背道而驰 This is the opposite of what I wanted to be doing. 所以你必须留在政府工作 去影响事情发展 That's why you have to stay in Government, to influence things. 在这里，你能影响事情的发展 可以延缓某些事情的进程 In here, you can influence things, you can delay things. 出了这扇门 你只不过是个没人愿意多看一眼的 Out there, you're just another 满口大话到处叫嚣的疯子 mouthy, shouty mad fucker who people don't want to make eye contact with. 记得玛丽吗？记得发生了什么吗？ 她在医疗事业上表明了自己的立场 Remember Mary? Remember what happened? She took a stand on health. 大家都觉得她疯了 Everybody decided that she was mental. 那是因为太阳报刊登了她的丑化照片 Because The Sun showed a picture of her 眼如铜铃，人头牛身 with wide eyes and her head on a cow. 我恰巧发现那图很有张力 I happened to find that a particularly powerful image. 听着…这个国家的首相 Look... the Prime Minister of this country, 他不是北欧海盗 he's not a fucking Viking, is he? 他不嗜血 He doesn't drink blood. 也不到处咬流浪的人 He doesn't go around biting tramps. 马尔科姆，我知道首相不是海盗 I know the Prime Minister isn't a Viking, Malcolm. 与我相反，他憎恨暴力 Unlike me, he abhors physical violence. 有情报吗，有确凿证据吗？ Where is the intelligence, the hard evidence? 我们有情报 We have got the fucking intelligence. - 我没见过 - 我们的情报太难懂 - I haven't seen it. - The intelligence we've got is so deep, 太确凿，会让你肾穿孔的 so fucking hard, it'll fucking puncture your kidneys. 从哪来的？ Where's it coming from? 有个密告者 There is an informant. 冰人 Ice Man. 冰人？ Ice Man? 名字不是我取的，冰人，没错 I don't name them. Ice Man. Yeah. 事实是，他给我们的情报… And the fact is, the stuff that he's given us is... 我是见过的 I've seen it. 会让你脊背发凉 It would make your blood run cold 血液凝固，会让你的内脏变成黑色布丁 and clot and turn your insides into fucking black puddings, 但是有些屌人 but certain box lickers 把它们搁置了，不过你会看到的 are sitting on it, but you're going to see it, 因为首相把你看做是 because the PM regards you 这事件的关键人物 as a key player in this now. 西蒙，首相十分钟后要见你 Simon, the Prime Minister wants to speak to you in ten minutes. 他想派你去联合国 He wants you to go to the UN. 好的 OK. 看到了？你现在是达官贵人 See? You're on the A list now. 有贵宾休息室 你他妈和肯尼迪一个待遇 You're there in the VIP lounge. You're a fucking Kennedy. 是，马尔科姆… Yeah, Malcolm... 你有金卡，附赠饮料 You've got the gold card, the complimentary drinks, 你简直挺呱呱 the fucking hard on. 我的底线是，他妈的看到证据 Show me the evidence - my bottom fucking line. 你不要也开始说粗话 Don't you start, as well. 我应该辞职吗？ Should I resign? 我提过我有可能辞职，然后我想我不会 所以如果我辞职的话，会更令人信服 I floated that I might, then I thought I wouldn't, so it'll look convincing if I did. 我是说，直接辞职 I mean, do you think, is it braver to just resign 然后说不要战争会不会更勇敢？ and say, "No. No war"? - 没错 - 或者还是说… - Yes. - Or... 这样做会比较勇敢… is it braver... …说我不同意 ...to say, "I don't agree", 然后咬紧牙关，继续工作？ and just grit my teeth and get on with it? 不 No. 真正的勇敢是不是 做你自己不赞同的事情？ Is the really brave thing actually doing what you don't believe? 不是 No. 也许 Maybe. 因为… Because... 做正确的事算什么勇敢？ What's actually brave about doing the right thing? 根本不算 Nothing. 做错事却… You know, doing the wrong thing is... 从某种程度上说是…更勇敢 is... is braver, 不是吗？ in a way, isn't it? 战争有时候的确能解决问题 And wars do sometimes work. 譬如… That erm... 独立战争 the War for Independence. 美国人民取得了独立，不是吗？ You know, that worked for the Americans, didn't it? 还有…额… And... erm... 第二次世界大战 The Second World War. 我知道，这不是… 不是什么好事，百万亡魂 I know, it's not... It wasn't a good idea, millions died. 不，不，我明白你的意思 No, no, I know what you mean. 克里米亚战争 那场战争后我们有了很多护士 The Crimean War. We got nurses out of that. - 护士很不错 - 是的，没错 - Nurses are good. - Yes. Exactly. 没错，额，完全正确 So, right, well, no, exactly. 那么… So... 你不打算辞职了？ You're not resigning? 纽约市 在车队里，我们能不能 不和朱迪一辆车？ In the motorcade, can we get a car without Judy, please? 你想招妓？先生，你喜欢妓女？ You want hookers? You like hooky fucky, sir? 不，我不想… No, I don't want... - 我想谈谈辞职的事情 - 又谈？ - I want to talk about resigning. - What again? 没错，但是是和你谈，不是和她 Yes, but with you and not her. 各大媒体现在都在报道 你因为反战想要辞职 So, the wires are all currently reporting that you're going to resign over the war. 什么？这是内部消息 What? That's not supposed to get outside. 现在不是了，现在传出去了 就像在长途车站魁梧的长毛强奸犯 Well, it is outside. It's lurking outside, like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. 你知道吗，如果可以的话 我他妈的想把你揍到瘫痪 Do you know, if I could, I'd fucking punch you into paralysis. （联合国总部） 您一定是西蒙了，我是英国驻联合国大使 So, you must be Simon. I'm the British Ambassador to the UN, （安理会投票当天） 乔纳森•塔特爵士 Sir Jonathon Tutt. 女士们先生们，就是这里了 这里就是联合国 Well, this is it, ladies and gentlemen. This is the United Nations. 先生，我们在这里 We, sir, are in here. 如果你们有任何需要 吹个口哨就可以了 So, if there's anything you need, just give me a whistle. 你们知道怎么吹口哨吧？ 应该怎么做？ You know how to do that, don't you? What do you do? 嗯？没错，合上双唇，用力吹气 Hm? That's right. You put your lips together and you blow. 我要回去接待其他代表团了 I'm going to head up to this delegates' reception. 我希望有些小点心，因为我饿极了 I hope there's some nibbles, because I'm ravenous. 小点心，这年头谁还说“小点心”？ Nibbles. Who still says "nibbles"? 去他的小点心，同性相斥怎么不管用了？ Fuck the nibbles. What was with the homoerotic tension? 你的手机关机了，这里有个大灾难 OK. Your phone is off, but there's been a catastrofuck here. 有人把丽莎•维尔德的 PWIP PIP 报告 泄露给英国广播公司了 Someone's leaked Liza Weld's PWIP PIP paper to the BBC. 神啊！ Jesus Christ! 啊，又来了 Ah, there we go. 我估计六点新闻会播出 差不多是你们那一点 I reckon it's going to be on the six o'clock news, one o'clock your time. 这样联合国投票就没戏了 That is going to fucking fist your UN vote to death. 嘿，说你呢！站住！ Hey, you! Freeze! 不胜想念，PWIP PIP 再见 Right. Missing you loads. PWIP PIP toodle-oo. 我他妈有话跟你说 I want a fucking word with you. 好，杰米，两件事 OK, Jamie, two jobs. 第一，查出是谁泄露了 PWIP PIP 然后宰了他 Job one. Find the PWIP PIP leaker and kill them. Job one has two parts. 第二，去英国广播公司 看报告在谁手上 Job two. Go to the BBC and find out who's got it there. 要把曝光时间拖到联合国投票后 明白吗？ We need them to delay till after the vote. Yeah? 爱你 I love you. 打扰了，我有话跟你说 Excuse me, I need a word with you. 不要动，否则我一刀捅死你 Do not move from here or I'll fucking stab you. 好的 OK. - 是你吗？ - 不，不是 - Right. Was it you? - No, it wasn't. 不是，什么？ No. What? - 你知道我说的是什么 - 我不知道 - You know what I'm talking about. - No. 而且…而且…不管你说的是什么 And... And... whatever it was, 绝对不是我做的 I almost certainly didn't do it. - 是你吗，橡皮头里的小孩？ - 不是，不是 - You, the baby from Eraserhead? - No, no. 那么，一定是你了 哭泣游戏里的女人 Then it must be you, woman from The Crying Game. 不是我 It wasn't me. 你就是要针对我，是吗？ You've really got it in for me, haven't you? 听着，有人脑子发昏，犯了大错 Listen, somebody has dropped a bollock in the noodles here. - 我估计就是你 - 哦 - And I reckon it was you. - Oh. - 逻辑真缜密 - 是啊，有这个可能 - Nice logic. - Yeah, no, that sounds possible. 你能不能闭上你的嘴？ Will you just keep your nib out? 从心理学角度来讲 Psychologically speaking. - 激飞猎犬头 - 这说的通啊 - Springer spaniel head. - It's plausible. 有可能你心怀怨恨 然后就用些卑鄙的手段施以报复 You might have built up a resentment and paid it off in some underhand way. 我看到过有人这么做的 That's a thing I've observed people do. 去你的看到过 Observe that. - 来吧，鲍尔德莫特 - 真该死，马尔科姆 - Right, Baldermort. - Bloody hell, Malcolm. 抱歉 Excuse us. 情况有变 We are in a new reality here. 明白吗？ 嗯 - OK? - Right. 你必须加快速度 And I need you to speed things up. 加快什么的速度，马尔科姆？ OK. Speed what up, Malcolm? - 讨论的速度 - 好 - The debate. - Right. 我要你把时间 从下午1:30提前到上午11:00 I need you to bring it from 1:30pm to 11 am. 好吧，我来告诉你这里的办事程序 以及无法提前的原因 Right. Let me tell you how the process works here and why that's not possible. 你照办就是了，否则，你会发现 Just fucking do it, otherwise you'll find yourself in the Caucuses, 你就像在中世纪战区的会议上 in a Medieval fucking war zone, 竭力说服那些恐怖分子 arse in the air, trying to persuade men in balaclavas 持续的性暴力不是出路，明白吗？ that sustained sexual violence is not the fucking way forward, OK? - 我不能这么做，也不会这么做 - 这件事到此结束 It cannot be done and it will not be done. There's an end to it. 好，那我自己来，从这儿进？ Ok, I'll do it. Through here? 不可以，这样会破坏协议 You will not do it because that is a breach of protocol. - 好，那么你来 - 不，我不去 - Well, you do it. - No, I will not do it. 进去，马上，我不跟你磨蹭 - In there. Do it. - I'm not dancing with you on this. - 进去，马上给我搞定 - 我不去 - Get through there and do it, now. - I'm not. 嗯…额… Right... well... 额…各位，我们能不能… Erm... everyone, if I could just... 这个… Is this... 能听到吗？ Can you hear me? 我在想我们能不能呃… 鲁莽的请各位… I just wondered if we might er... ask for a... …提前投票表决 ...a cheeky early vote, 这有一点点冒险 a sort of a little bit of an adventure. 我们必须堵住这个漏洞 Yeah, we've got to plug that leak. 我不知道他们还得到了什么消息 情报在谁手上？ I don't know what else they've got and where's this intel? 你确定你很积极的在工作 就像我一样？我已经汗流浃背了 Are you sure you're working as hard as me? I'm sweating spinal fluid here. 我现在是行尸走肉 I'm a fucking husk. 天啊 Jesus. - 目的都达到了？ - 没错，是的，谢谢你 - Got everything you need? - Yeah. Yeah, thanks. 停，停，停 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 弗林斯顿将军 General Flintstone. 是你吗？ Was it you? 是你泄露了 PWIP PIP 报告吗？ Did you leak PWIP PIP? 我知道你不会用枪 但是你会用传真机吧？ I mean, I know you can't fire a gun, but can you use a fax? 不，我没有泄露 PWIP PIP 我做事向来光明正大，知道吗？ No, I didn't leak PWIP PIP. I do everything up front. OK? 不像有些惟利是图的同性恋鬼鬼祟祟的 Not like some creepy little gay mercenary that sneaks around 助纣为虐 doing other people's dirty work. 嘿，我做我份内的事 Hey, I am doing my own work. 那是我的职责 I'm doing my job. 不，你在帮林顿做见不得人的勾当 No, you're doing Linton's dirty work. 你是他的英国走狗，可你却不自知 You're his English bitch and you don't even know it. 我肯定如果我今晚去你的房间 一定会看到你四脚着地 I bet if I went into your hotel room tonight, I'd see you on all fours, 穿着网袜，而他则在你身后操你 little fishnets on, him hanging onto the back of you. 哦，很好，很好 Oh, that's nice, that's nice. 那就是从一位他妈的光说不练的将军 嘴里吐出来的粗话 That's tough talk coming from a fucking armchair general. 你为什么不翘起脚继续睡觉呢？ Why don't you put your feet up on a pouf and go back to sleep? 腾克，如果在伦敦 你的狗叫也许会吓到别人 Tucker, you might be a scary little poodle fucker, back there in London, 但是在这，你什么都不是 but here you're nothing. 你知道你像什么吗？ You know what you look like? 瘪了的老二 A squeezed dick. 你太阳穴上都暴青筋了 You've got a little blue vein running up the side of your head. 要开枪的话，我会瞄准那的 See, that's where I'd put the bullet. 不过我必须得站远一点 因为你看上去会脑浆四射 But I'd have to stand back, cos you look like you'd be a squirter. 你有没有… Have you ever, even actually... …杀过人，我是说，玩真的？ ...killed anybody, I mean, really? 有啊 Yeah. 在别人身上睡着，把人给压死 那可不算哦 Falling asleep on someone. That doesn't count. 很好，很好 That's good. That's good. 你呢，娘娘腔，杀过人吗？ How about you, pussy drip, ever kill anybody? 我更喜欢从心理上打垮别人 Maiming is what I prefer, psychologically. 为什么不试试打垮我呢？ Why don't you try to maim me? 我会狠狠的揍你的脸 然后你就会满地找牙了 I'll hit you so hard in the face, you'll be shitting teeth. 请便 Go right ahead. 我已经能预想到明天的头条了 I can see the headlines right now. 热爱和平的将军在家联合国挑争端 瑞士调停 "Peace-loving general starts fight at the UN. Swiss intervene." 我不清楚，因为我不是很擅长添油加醋 但是肯定会影响你的仕途 I don't know, I'm not an expert on spin, but that could hurt your career. 是吗？ Yeah? - 是吗？ - 没错 - Yeah? - Yeah. 不好意思 Now, do excuse me. 我还有事要做 I've got work to do. 别他妈的再叫我英国佬了 Don't ever call me fucking English again. 苏西，做得好 (operatic singing) - Suzy, well done. 棒极了 This is absolutely superb. 嘿，那谁，是不是你？ Hey, horse of the year, was it you? - 什么是不是我？ - 他妈的回答我的问题！ - Was what me? - Answer the fucking question! 是不是你？ Was it you? 什么是不是我，杰米？ 我不知道你在说什么 Was what me, Jamie? I have no idea what you're talking about. 你不告诉她问题是什么 要她怎么回答你？ She can't answer the question, can she? Unless she knows what it is. 你… You... 把丽莎•维尔德的报告透漏给了 英国广播公司，是吗？ leaked Liza Weld's paper to the BBC, right? 告诉我，是你做的 Now, tell me you leaked it. 不，我没有，我没有泄露 No, I didn't. I didn't leak it. 我知道… I know... 消息是从这传出去的 the leak came from in here. 从… From... 这台该死的传真机传出去的 this fucking fax machine right here. 不，不可…不可能 SUZY: No. There's no... There's no way. 你看到… Do you see... 看到我要怎么处置这台机器吗？ what I'm doing to this machine? - 杰米，不要 - 看到没？ - Jamie, don't. - See? 天啊！ Jesus Christ! 妈的，杰米 Fuck, Jamie. 你看到我有多…生气… You see how... angry I am with the... 就因为这台办公设备泄露了份文件？ piece of office equipment that leaked this document? 啊？ Huh? 迈克尔 Michael. 你能想象对于泄露文件的人 我又有多生气吗？能想象吗？ Can you even imagine how angry I am with the person who leaked it, can you? - 那机器真的…很贵，杰米 - 你能想象吗，苏西？ - That's really... expensive, Jamie. - Can you, Suzy? 杰米，是我干的 Jamie, it was me. 哦，别他妈的学给我逞英雄 Oh, don't come over all fucking Spartacus on us now. - 是我泄漏的 - 你在干什么？ - I leaked it. - What are you doing? 不，等等，等等，首先… No, hang on, hang on. For a start... 把那该死的声音关了！ turn that fucking racket off! 关掉，只有元音 SUZY: Turn it off. - It's just vowels. 助长了他妈的外国元音 Subsidised foreign fucking vowels. 你们听这垃圾的唯一原因 就是显示自己身份 The only reason you listen to this shit is because it's bad form 就好像戴顶帽子然后说 我读的是私立学校 to actually wear a hat that says, 这种做法真的很拙劣 "I went to private school." 现在，告诉我 So, tell me now, right. - 你把它泄露给谁了？ - 我只是发了出去 - Who did you leak it to? - I just sent it. 我看过，觉得很重要，所以就发出去了 I read it, I thought it was important, so I sent it. 好，很好，看到那台传真机了？ Good. Fine. See that fax? 是的 Yes. 那就是你的前途 That is your career. 我觉得它有可能没戏了 但还是让我们再来看看 And I think it might be fucked, but let's just check. 没错，没错，彻底没戏了 Yeah, yeah, it's pretty fucked. 我希望你还够灵敏 Now, I hope you can play the spoons. 你太老了，想重操旧业也没人要了 You're too old to go back to being a gentleman's fluffer. 西蒙？西蒙 Simon? Simon. 恭喜你，你太出乎我意料了 Congratulations. I didn't think you had it in you. 嗨 Hi. - 太好了，西蒙 - 他准备辞职 - This is great, Simon. - He's resigning. - 看过没？照拍的不错 - 哦 - Have you seen it? It's a good picture. - Oh. - 他们在报道这消息？ - 简直是大肆宣传 - They're running with that? GENERAL: In a very big way. 我没说 I didn't say that. 什么？ What? - 什么？ - 你不打算辞职？ - What? - You're not resigning? 你还是主战？ Are you still playing the hawk? 从某种程度上来说，是… 我的策略更复杂 In a way, it's... I'm playing a much cleverer game than that. 我是… I'm a... 我是主战派卧底 I'm a fake hawk. 什么？ A what? 卧底 A fake hawk. 白痴 You're an idiot. 还是你在装傻？ Or are you being a fake idiot? 不管怎么样，是我们放的消息 告诉媒体，他向我们确认了辞职的消息 So, we float it, anyway, tell the press that he confirmed to us he's resigning. - 那么就这么办 - 什么？ - That's what we'll do, then. - What? - 那就这么定了 - 对不起，不是，我不辞职 - It's decided, then. - Sorry. No, it bloody isn't. 我才是我，好吗？ I'm me. OK? 你们不是我 You're not me. 我的事情由我自己做主 I decide about all the main things about me. - 现在开始由不得你了 - 不是你们，是我 - Not any more. - Not you, me. 西蒙，我们现在唯一能做的事情 是辞职，只有这样，才能影响事情的进程 Simon, the only thing that we can do to influence events now is to resign. 就这样，明白吗？ That's it, OK? - 牺牲我们自己 - 就像是自杀式袭击者？ - Sacrifice ourselves. - Like a suicide bomber? 不，不能这么说 自杀式袭击者是自愿的 No, not like suicide bomber. A suicide bomber makes a decision. 你还好吧？ Are you OK? 我在想变成人肉炸弹 I'm thinking of becoming a suicide bomber. 好吧 Right. - 要薄荷糖吗？ - 不用了 - Would you like a mint? - No. 对牙不好，会慢慢侵蚀牙齿 They're really not that good for the teeth, you know, rots them slowly. - 还早呢 - 朱迪，你喜欢我吗？ - It's early. - Do you like me, Judy? 额…你是我的上司 Well... you're my boss, you know. 你真的喜欢我吗？ But do you really like me? 喜欢 Yeah. 我…我还是让你一个人静静吧 I'll... I'll just leave you to your thoughts. 好吗？ OK? 我完全没有思绪 I haven't got any thoughts. 我只是在发呆 I'm just staring vacantly into space. 我的脑袋里有一个遥远的声音在说 While a distant voice in the back of my head goes, 哦，该死 "Oh, shit", 就好像是在半夜里响起的汽车警报 like a car alarm, in the middle of the night. 为什么这么问？杰米来过吗？ Why? Has Jamie been round? - 因为他… - 是你，对吗？ - Because he's... - This is you, isn't it? 苏西，我能过会打给你再接受训斥吗？ Suzy, can I phone you back in a few minutes for a further bollocking? 现在我面前就有一个准备兴师问罪的 I'll just deal with this one here. 我的前途一片光明，很快就要有大突破 I have got something really, really big in my career lined up for me 但是因为你泄露了我的报告 现在搞得一团糟 and you're going to fuck it up because of this leak. 你怎么？什么会被搞砸？ What did you? What would be fucked up? 切德，我没必要把一切都告诉你 Chad, I don't need to tell you anything. 我想给你讲个故事 I want to tell you a story. 当泰坦尼克号沉没的时候，有救生船 When the Titanic went down, there were lifeboats. 船上有空位，但水里还有人 They had extra room on them and there were people in the water. 船上有些人想要有空间把脚伸直 Some people on the boats just wanted room to stretch their legs, 但是水里的人却冻僵了 这使他们一辈子都良心不安 but people in the water froze and that was on their conscience. 你想讲寓言故事啊 你这样像个山寨耶稣 You talk entirely in parables. You're like a crap Jesus. 你给我小心点，好吗？ 我可不是好惹的 Tread lightly. OK? You are fucking with the wrong person. - 哦，是吗？ - 没错，我可以把这里给禁闭 - Oh, really? - Yes. I've got this town on lockdown. 我们都，所以… We're both and so... - 去你们的 - 共同的敌人 - Fuck you all. - A common enemy. 喂 Hello. 喂 Hello! 你好，保罗 Hello, Paul. - 猜猜看那堵墙怎么了？ - 你能不能稍等一下？ - Guess what's happened to my wall? - Could you hold on just a second? 副总统…没事了 The Vice President's... Doesn't matter. 美国的，没错，就是那个 Of America. Yes. That one. 我们离火线近了点，腾克先生 So, we're getting a little close to the wire, Mr Tucker. 情报呢，嗯？ Where is that intel, huh? 你找到了什么样的情报？ What sort of intel have you rustled up? - 啊，最新的情报？ - 没错 - Ah, the smoking intel? - Yeah. 额，说实话，我没找到 Well, honestly, I haven't got it. 你没找到？ You haven't got it? 好吧，行 All right. OK. 那么，这样吧，你能延迟投票吗？ 这样你就有时间找情报了 Well, then, can you delay the vote? Lt'd give you the time to get it. 我刚把投票时间提前了 I've just had it brought forward. 不好意思，我只是想…来拿我的薄荷糖 Sorry, I'm just erm... getting my mints. 你给我听着，推迟投票 I am telling you, delay the vote 给自己留些时间去搞情报 因为，我需要它 and make yourself some time to get the intel, because I need it, my friend. 嘿，好的，搞清楚一点 Hey. OK. Just a quick reality check here, J•埃德加•胡佛（FBI第一任局长） 我不是你的下属 J Edgar Fucking Hoover, I don't work for you. 你没权力要求我这么做 You don't fucking tell me what to do. 好的，首先，不要大声喧哗 OK. Firstly, don't raise your voice. 这是个神圣的地方 This is a sacred place. 也许你我都不相信 Now, you may not believe that and I may not believe that, 但是，老天作证，这虚伪的话很管用 but, by God, it's a useful hypocrisy. 其次 And, secondarily, 你的首相，指示你为我工作 I believe your Prime Minister has instructed you to work for me. 带着你的糖给我滚 Take your sweeties and fuck off. 哦，伟大的马尔科姆•腾克 LINTON: Oh, the great Malcolm Tucker. 你的手下泄露了文件，你就束手无策了 One of your guys leaks a paper. You can't do anything. 嗯？我们让你去找情报，你也办不到 Huh? We tell you to get some intel. You can't do anything. 我要你把投票时间延迟，你还是办不到 I need you to move the vote back. You can't do anything. 你简直就是废物 I am afraid you are nothing but a useless piece of 一坨屎 S star-star T. 你他妈想怎么样？ What the fuck do you want? 额…抱歉，我… Erm... sorry, I... 我刚接到消息说墙开始坍塌了 I've just heard that the constituency wall has started to collapse. 一块砖掉了出来 这就是我目前所知的消息 A brick's fallen out. Well, that's the news I'm getting, at the moment. 还会有后续的 There'll be more to follow. 新闻和砖块 News and bricks. 我的天，听起来很重要 腾克先生，处理好这事，好吗？ My God, that sounds important. Take care of that, Mr Tucker. Yes? 处理这事你应该得心应手 I think that's more your speed. 我可以预想你脱了衬衫 推着独轮手开心的哼着小调 I can see you, with your shirt off and a wheelbarrow, whistling a happy tune. 去办吧 Get on that. 你帮他做事？ You work for him? 这事很复杂 This is very fucking complicated stuff. 投票后… After the vote... …我辞职 ...I resign. 哦，去你的！ Oh, fuck off! 辞职？ Resigning? 太他妈感人了！ How fucking impressive! 辞职？马脱缰了是吧，本事大了是吧 小心挨枪子 Resign. The horse has bolted. It's out there now. It's getting fucking shot! 一会见，马尔科姆 I'll see you later, Malcolm. 你… You... 你要是敢把… You repeat... 在这听到的泄露一个字 one word of what you have heard here 我会打断你的腿…你的他妈的… and I'm going to fucking take your leg off... l'll fucking... 胫骨 The shin bone. 我会把你的胫骨折成两段 I'm going to take the shin bone, I'm going to break it in two 然后我会用它们捅死你，明白吗？ and I'm going to fucking stab you to fucking death with it, right? 所以，给我…给我… So, just... just... 离开这里 go away. 快走开 Go away. 嗨，请帮我转 BBC 新闻部 Hi. BBC News Desk, please. 我是马尔科姆•腾克 Malcolm Tucker. 嗨，本 Hi, Ben. 听着，我听说你们正准备播出一则 对我们不利的报道 Listen, I hear that you might be preparing a story that we might not like. - 对，拜托 - 嗷！ - Yeah, please. - Ow! 我想说的是，花园围墙的事情 不要报道了，算我拜托你 I just wanted to say, please, this garden-wall story, don't run with that. 嗷！ Ow! 西蒙•福斯特的选区办公室的墙 Simon Foster's constituency office wall. 你们收到这个消息的吧？ That's what you've got, haven't you? 哦，该死，我该不会泄露秘密了吧？ Oh, shit. I haven't let the cat out of the bag, have I? 拜托你，不要报道 否则我就要身败名裂了 Please, don't run with that. My reputation will be in tatters. - 嗷！ - 你可以走了！ - Ow! - And he is gone! 现在我的手被烫坏了 My hand is really quite badly scalded now. 我知道是你泄露了 林顿的战争委员会的消息 I know it was you who leaked Linton's war committee. 哦，那个，额… Oh. Right. Erm... - 不是我 - 不是你？ - It wasn't. - It wasn't? 当他们把你送到迭戈加西亚岛上的监狱 接受搜身的时候 That's what you'll say 你还是这么说？ when they fly you to Diego Garcia and carry out a cavity search? 我真的不记得了 I don't actually recall. 那阵子很忙 It was a very busy time. 这个理由好多了，行了 That's better. OK. 我现在给你假释 I am putting you on a probationary period 期限是从现在直到人类灭亡 from today, until the end of recorded time. - 好的 - 明白吗？ - All right. - Do you understand? - 明白 - 你现在是我的人，明白吗？ - Yes. - You're my guy now. Right? 我是你的主人，你是我的黑奴 去把你的该死的电脑拿来 I own you. You are my Kunta Kinte. Go and get your fucking laptop. 大使先生，你和你的大秃头 真是对我们格外关照，可否借一步说话？ Mr Ambassador, with your big, baldy head, you are spoiling us! A word? 抱歉，就一会 Excuse us, just for a second. 我很高兴的告诉你 由于我付出了很大的努力 I'm pleased to be able to tell you that, by some huge effort on my behalf, 我已经把投票时间提前了一个半小时 说谢谢吧 I've brought your vote forward by an hour and a half. Say "thank you". - 很好，额，我现在要把它延迟 - 真会开玩笑 - Great. Well, I need it delayed now. - Very funny. 至少延迟一个小时 By an hour, at least. 额，事实上，是两个半小时 因为你把它提前了一个半小时 Well, actually, two and a half hours, now that you've brought it forward. 不可能，我不会让自己再丢一次脸了 我不干 No. I will not put myself through that humiliation again. I'm just not doing it. 好，怎么说呢？额… Right. (clears throat) What can I say? Erm... 啊，二位，我有消息要告诉你们 Ah, right, Frank and Nancy Sinatra. I've got good news for you. 你们不会被炒鱿鱼，好消息，对吗？ You're not fired. That's great news, isn't it? - 听起来有诈 - 事实上我们要将丽莎维尔德的PWIP PIP报告 - Well, it sounds ominous. - We want to get Liza Weld's PWIP PIP 公诸于众 out there properly, in the public domain. 我们只需稍微做下修改 We just need to refine it a bit. - 你想改什么？ - 把它搞乱就行 - What do you want to refine? - Just mess it up. 对调段落顺序 把密告者的名字改掉就行了 Move the paragraphs. Change the name of the main informant. - 那就是造假了 - 易名并不会有什么影响 - Well, that's a complete fabrication. - Changing his name doesn't matter. 你不会真的认为他叫冰人吧？啊？ Do you think he's really called Ice Man? Huh? 人类先生和太太的儿子是…冰 "To Mr and Mrs Man, a son... lce." 所以，改个名字 - So, change it to another name. (on CD): # Sonata for Violin and Piano 这个拉小提琴的他妈的叫什么名字？ What's the name of the fuck with the fiddle? - 这正巧是德彪西 - 德彪西 - This happens to be Debussy. - Debussy. - 好，那么我们就叫他德彪西 - 不，不可以！ - Well, we'll change it to Debussy, then. - No, we will not! 由你来改，迈克尔 Now, your prints are gonna be all over this, Michael, 这是挽回你的工作的唯一方法 该死的泄密者 but that's the only way you can save your job, you leaky fuck. - 别逼我 - 不是他泄密的 - Don't make me do this. - It wasn't him. 肯定有人进来用过这台传真机 Somebody must have come in there and used the fax machine. - 任何人都有嫌疑 - 传真机？ - It could have been anyone. - Fax machine? 哦！不用管它了 Ah, no! (laughs) Don't worry about that. 那是我瞎编的 No, I made that up. 文件是用电子邮件形式传出去的 No, the document was leaked by e-mail. 只是刚才传真机刚好在那，又比较好踢 It's just, the fax machine was there, and it's easier to kick. 快点，笨蛋！ Come on, Thick White Duke! - 不要大喊大叫的… - 跟我走 - Don't shout at... - Come with me. 好的，准备好了吗？都准备好了吗？ Right, OK. Is it up? Have you got it up? 是的，一切就绪 Yeah, it's all fine. 好，剪切首段并粘贴到第5页 OK. Cut the top paragraph and paste it into page 5. 好，好了，完成了 Right, yeah, we've done it. 第6页，把脚注删掉 Page 6 - get rid of the footnotes. 好了 Done. - 翻到第9页 - 翻到第9页 - Go to page 9. - Go to page 9. 从这页开始把所有文字加粗 Highlight from that page to the end of the document. - 快，加粗 - 注释？ - Go on, do it. - The caveats? 好，删除，好的，我们正在做，删除 - OK. Delete. - Right, OK, we're doing it. Delete it. 你们不能把反战意见给删了 You can't delete the arguments against the war. 哦，有人在这摇头啊 迈尔克，我觉得他快翘辫子了 Oh. There's a shake of the head here, Malc. I think he's crashed. 重重的给他一拳，一般来说都管用的 Give him a thump - that usually works. 让我试试看手动操控 Let me try a wee bit of manual override. 我们看看有没有可能删掉反战言论 Let's see if it is possible to delete the arguments against the war. 嘿！你还是能删掉的嘛，做好了 Hey! You could delete it, after all. It's done. 好，打开邮箱，上传附件 Great. Now, attach that to an e-mail. 好，好了，好了 Yes, done it. Done it. 找台打印机 Let's find a printer. - 好 - 找日本人，他们肯定有 - Right. - The Japanese. They'll have a printer. - 我们不能就这么传出去 - 当然不行 - Well, we can't just present it like this. - No, we can't. 帮我找个蓝色的文件夹 Go and get me a blue folder. - 好，去哪找？ - 我怎么知道 - Well, OK. Where from? - I don't know. 我不知道文具在哪 我在五星酒店从来只谈性 I've never been in a fucking stationery cupboard. I do my shagging in hotels. 把所有假定条件都删掉 LINTON: Just take out all the conditionals. 譬如可能因为… 把可能找到改成已经找到明白吗？ Like, "might" becomes... Instead of "might have found", 'have found". OK? 大胆一点，把整份材料都改掉 Be audacious. Just re-write the whole damn thing. 哦… Ohh... 我需要的是陈述句 LINTON: Declarative sentences - that's what I want. - 统统给给我去掉 - 林顿，过来 - Take 'em all out. - Linton, come here. - 这是什么？ - 你手下找不到的情报 - What is it? - The intel your guys couldn't find. 是吗？ Yeah? 我想你应该好好的跟我道歉 而且要卑躬屈膝 I think that I am owed a massive, grovelling apology. 恭喜你啊，嗯？ Congratulations, huh? 说不定他们会封给你一个骑士头衔 Maybe they'll give you a knighthood. 合作愉快 A pleasure doing business with you. 我遇到过很多疯子… You know, I've come across a lot of psychos... 但你是最无聊的 but none as fucking boring as you. 你真他妈的很无聊 I mean, you are a real, boring fuck. - 抱歉，我知道你不赞同别人讲脏话 - 不，没关系 - Sorry. I know you dislike swearing. - No, that's all right. 所以，我会妥善处理 你他妈的无聊透顶的混蛋 So, I'll sort that out. You are a boring F star-star cunt. 我们差不多…一切都照您的吩咐办了 - Are we pretty much... - Everything as you requested. 行，很好，欢迎加入，丽莎 Fine. Good. Ah, welcome aboard, Liza. 我长话短说，直击要点 I will make this brief and to the point. 我们一会进去 然后用英国的德彪西提供的最新情报 We're gonna go in, we're going to state our case, 陈述我们的理由 with new British intelligence from source Debussy, 我们达到目的取胜后，就走人 明白了？ we win the argument, we get the hell out. All right? 2238号决议通过 CHAIR PERSON: Resolution 2238 is passed. 没错，就是那样了 - Yeah. That's that, then. (mobile rings) 喂？ Yeah? 太好了就是那样了 这句话你说了很多年了吧 Jolly good. "That's that, then," is your line for the ages, is it? 啊？ What? 我记得宣战那天 Well, I remember, the day that war was declared, 我去找首相，他说… I turned to the Minister, and he said... 就是这样了，谁要薄荷糖？ "That's that, then. Anyone want a mint?" 滚开，托比 Piss off, Toby. 英军还有多久…做得好，迈克尔 - How long before British troops... JAMIE: Well done, Michael. 你做的非常非常好 You did a really, really, really good job. 哦，天，千万别哭 Oh, for fuck's sake, don't cry. 我在五分钟前用电子邮件提交了辞呈 I e-mailed my resignation five minutes ago. 舆论的冲击下，你们也准备辞职吧 And yours should come pretty soon, for the biggest media impact. - 我一直在想 - 什么？ - I've been thinking. - Yeah? 这是我从政以来最艰难的抉择 This has been the hardest political decision of my career. 我不打算辞职 I'm not going to resign. 你搞什么啊，乔治？ Huh! What the fuck, George? 开战之前，我本来打算辞职的 Before the war, I was going to resign, 但是既然有战争…我就不能辞职 but now that there's a war on... I can't resign. 你说过你无法承受，你说过我们一起的 You said that this was intolerable. You said we would go together. 确实无法承受，但是我必须承受 It is intolerable, but I'm going to have to tolerate it. 我对战争的看法并没有改变 And I still agree with myself on that. 但是我要为孩子负责，我是一个军人 But my loyalty is to the kids. I am a soldier. 你才不是军人呢 You're not a soldier. - 我这辈子都是军人 - 是吗？ - I've been a soldier my whole life. - Yeah? 你说我不是军人是什么意思？ 我是军人 What do you mean, I'm not a soldier? I'm a soldier. 看看这身制服，你认为这行头是假的？ Look at the uniform - you think I'm one of the Village People? 你最后一次杀人是什么时候？ When did you shoot a guy last? 哦，就因为我15年没有杀过人 我就不是军人了？ Oh, not shooting someone in 15 years means I'm not a soldier? 军队可没要求我每五年 拖一具血淋淋的尸体进五角大楼 You know, the Army doesn't make you drag some bloody corpse 来更新我的军人证明 into the Pentagon every five years, to renew your "soldier's licence". 是没这必要！如果你是个好将军的话 你不应该这么没种 It's unnecessary! And if you were a good general, you'd have some balls! 你给我闭嘴，我一直很有有种 Look, shut up about my balls. My balls have been around. 你根本不了解 You've got no idea where my balls have been. 你想谈种的问题吗，我奉陪 因为我记得… I can talk about your balls all you want, cos I remember when... 哦，我20年前和你做过一次 从此耳根就没清静过！ Oh, I fucked you once 20 years ago, and I never hear the end of it! 每次我们在一起 我都要听到这些屁话，我都快忘记了 Every time we're together, I hear this shit. I don't even remember it! 走切德，我们要起草辞职宣告 Come on, Chad. We have to draft resignation announcements. 事实上，如果可以的话 我想我还是留下来陪将军好了 Actually, I think I might stay with the General, if that's OK. 如果他不辞职的话，我想留下来 看看我能不能帮到点什么 If he's staying, I might stay with him, see what assistance I can furnish. 好…，史莱克将军 和他忠诚的会说话的驴子 OK... General Shrek and his faithful, talking donkey. - 说得好 - 好，很好 - That was nice. - OK, well done. - 你留下来干什么？ - 我想让您知道 - What are you sticking around for? - Well, to let you know 我觉得您很有… that I think you've got... …种… ...big balls... - 很大… - 我的上帝 - It's like... two-thirds of the snowman. - Dear God. - 我们成功了，鲍伯，嗯？ - 是的，我们成功了 - We did it, Bob, huh? - Yes, we did, sir. 有几次还挺惊险的 There were a few moments where it got a little hairy. 不，没有 No, there weren't. 不，不，不，西蒙，等等，听着 No, no, no, Simon. No, no, listen. 嘿，嘿，嘿，听着，听着，听着 别走，别走，别走 Hey, hey, hey. Look, look, look. No, no, no. - 你还是没有必要辞职 - 我要辞职 - You still don't need to resign. - I do. 一小时后我就辞职 I'm resigning in an hour, 你劝不了我 and there's nothing you can do about it now. - 头儿… - 什么事？ - Boss... BOTH: Yes? 呃…BBC 新闻网站上写满了 Erm... it's all over the BBC News websites. 部分墙倒塌麦克尔森夫人的暖房 Partial collapse of the wall. Mrs Michaelson's greenhouse. 一扇玻璃窗被砸碎了 Obviously, a pane's been smashed. BBC 肯定派人去现场了 The BBC must have had a crew down there. 天，真有趣！ (laughs) God, how ridiculous! 这也叫新闻？ And that's news? 这不滑稽 It's not ridiculous. 一点也不滑稽…你被炒了 It's not ridiculous at all... You're fired. 什么？ What? 因为墙的事，这简直让人无法容忍 Over the wall - I mean, that's just not tolerable. 这只是一堵墙，马尔科姆 It's a fucking wall, Malcolm. 把报纸给我 Look. Give me the paper. 每日电讯报登了一幅你的漫画 在中国的长城上摇摇欲坠 The Telegraph has a cartoon of you teetering on the Great Wall of China, 暗示你是唯一一个 从太空都看得见的政界小丑 suggesting you are the only political fuck-up visible from space. 看看，看看 Look at this. Look at it. 你完蛋了 No-one could survive this. 首相对这类事情的态度很明确 你被解雇了，因为这堵墙 The PM's very clear about this. You're sacked - over the wall. 不 没错！ - No. - Yes! 不可以，你还没有和首相见面 No. You-You-You haven't even spoken to the Prime Minister. 我，我，我见过了 I-I-I have. 你他妈的没有！我刚刚一直站在你面前 You fucking haven't! I've been here in front of you. 我和首相谈过了，谈没谈过都无关紧要 这就是事实 I have spoken to the PM. Whether it happened or not is irrelevant. It is true. 他态度很明确，你必须得走人 And he was very clear - you've got to go. 哈！ Ha! 如果你觉得我会安静的打包走人 马尔科姆… If you think I'm going quietly, Malcolm... …你…你大错特错了 ...you've... you've made a mistake. 如果你想把这事变成反战游行示威 Well, if you want to turn this into some anti-war protest, 我很期待无论在何处 都能听到你的那句冲突的山峰 expect to hear your "mountain of conflict" sound-bite everywhere. 从手机铃声到他妈的… YouTube上的混合舞曲 From ring-tones to fucking... a dance mix on YouTube. 我会集结所有黑暗媒体势力 And I will marshal all the media forces of darkness, 让你不得不选择安乐死 to hound you to an assisted suicide. 好了，让我们去起草… “尊敬的首相…” Right-ho. Let's just go and draft your... "Dear Prime Minster, “特修书一封，特此感谢您的解雇” Just a quick note to say, 'Thanks for giving me the sack,"' letter. 快走吧 MALCOLM: Off we trot. 走吧，小西蒙 Come on, young Simon. 呃…米勒将军…打扰了 我知道现在时机不对… Erm... General Miller... sorry. I know this is an awkward time to be... 滚开 Go fuck yourself, Frodo. 好 OK. 那么你也可以去死了 (mutters): You can fuck off yourself, then. - 切德，你怎么样啊？ - 就…那样 - Are you hanging, Chad? - Just... hanging. - 想玩脸谱网上的国际象棋吗？ - 是的，夫人 - Wanna play some Facebook chess? - Yes, ma'am. 别那么靠墙！你在干什么？ Just get away from the wall! What are you doing? 我只是想离墙近一点拍张照 I just want a photo near the wall. 你可以在往后退12英寸，再退后一点 Yeah, you can go back another 12 inches. No, a bit further. - 可以吗？ - 停！ - There? - Stop there! 将军 CHAD: Check. (chuckles) 我还没碰棋呢 KAREN: I haven't touched it. 我替你走了一步棋，也许是最好的一步 但仍然… CHAD: I made a move for you, which is the best move possible, and it's still... 年轻人，说不定有一天 你会成为国务卿的 KAREN: You might be Secretary of State someday, young man. 你…真这么认为，你是真心的？ CHAD: You... Don't say that if you don't mean that. 当这些都结束的时候… TOBY: When, you know, all of this shit is over, maybe, you know... 你是个女人…我不是个女人 You're a woman... I'm not a woman. 你还想和我上床吗？ You wanna have sex again? 这个想法很糟糕吗？ Well, would it be such a terrible idea? 我是指，再来一次 You know - one more. 再来一次 "One more for the Gipper." 我不希望被人说我事必躬亲 Well, I don't want to be accused of micro-managing, 但是我不能理解为什么 《我爱哈克比》这部电影 but I cannot understand why "I Heart Huckabees" 适合军队观看？ is on a list of DVDs considered suitable for armed-forces entertainment. 那电影宣扬自我放纵 根本不适合军人 That self-indulgent crap is not suitable for combat troops. 我有许多报价供你选择 I've got a selection of the quotations here for you. 不过都是些地方建筑公司，大同小异 I mean, they're all local building firms. Much of a muchness. 你可以挑选一家妥善处理墙的问题 You know, to sort out the boundary wall. 但是…化粪池… But the... this septic tank... 隐藏的问题又出现了 That is rearing its pooey head again. 好的 Yes. 我刚和林顿通完电话 他还在为了《我爱哈克比》责备我 I just got off the phone with Linton, who proceeded to bitch me out, 就因为我把这部电影 加入了部队的DVD菜单 for allowing "I Heart Huckabees" on the troops' DVD roster. 对，你知道这话吗？我跟不上潮流了 Yeah. You know that phrase, "I'm too old for this shit"? 我想说的是，我太超前了，你明白吗？ Well, I'm too young for this shit. You know? - 新部长来了 - 马尔科姆！ MALCOLM: Here's the new Minister. - Malcolm! - 她来了 - 女士们先生们 - There she is. - Ladies and gentlemen. - 瞧瞧你！ - 谢谢，谢谢，真感人 - Look at you! - Thank you. Thank you. How touching. - 部长，还好吧？ - 非常好 - Minister, how are you doing? - Very well indeed. - 你瘦了 - 你好，我是朱迪•莫洛伊 - You've lost some weight. - Hello. Judy Molloy. - 见到你很高兴，这是丹 - 丹尼•丹特别顾问 - Nice to meet you. This is Dan. - Danny. Dan. Special Advisor. - 丹尼•丹？ - 战争似乎进行的很顺利 - Danny Dan? - War seems to be going great guns. - 哦，有点自负啊 - 朱迪，我的桌子分配了吗？ - Oh, very cheeky! Very cheeky. - Judy, have I got a desk out here? - 小心，有血的教训 - 呃…当然有，你就用那张桌子吧 - Careful. There's blood on the deck. - Er... yeah, sure. You can use that one. 怎么样？没有比这更好的了 非常华丽 MALCOLM: How about this? You can't get better than this. Very glamorous. 这和我以前的工作不大一样 但是没问题 MINISTER: It's a side-step from my previous job, but that's fine. 那边有个小参谋 MALCOLM: I think there's a wee bit of brains there. 实际上是他唯一的参谋 It's the only brains that he had, actually. 很高兴见到你，丹 你是哪个学校毕业的？ Nice to meet you, Dan. Where did you go to school? - 呃…泽西岛的一所学校 - 泽西岛？ - Erm... just a school in Jersey. - In Jersey? - 是属于英国吗？ - 是的 - Is that actually Britain? - Yeah. 抱歉，我在这站了20分钟了… MALCOLM: I'm sorry, but I've been standing here for 20 minutes... Sokidon Proudly Presents MALCOLM: Let's see you. Look at the hair on this. Who let this woman out with fucking hair like this, on national television? You'd think she's got her finger stuck in a fucking electric socket. Unbelievable.