Grey 的独白
2008-05-24 15:05:58 来自: Lomotion
-We go into medcine because we want to be good.We go into medcine for the rush,for the high,for the ride.But what we remember at the end of most days are losses.What we lie at night replaying is the pain we caused...the ills we couldn't cure or failed to save.At the end of the day, the reality is nothing like we hope, the reality is, at the end of the day, more often than not, turned inside out and upside down.
-And then somehow, improbably and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again...
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2008-05-24 15:15:57 Lomotion
To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple.Cut, suture and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips it's stitches wide open. The better you get at remaining neutral clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off?
To stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.> 删除 -
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2008-05-24 16:27:34 Lomotion
Surgeons are control freaks, with a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain, you are 10 feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the O.R. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control just falls to crap. No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task.And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning , and you realize that you shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you .No matter how hard you fight it ,you fall. And its scary as hell. Except there's an upside to free falling . It's the chance you give you friends to catch you.
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2008-05-24 16:43:55 Lomotion
Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness,the random pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain, we anaesthetize...ride it out...embrace it...ignore it...And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. Pain, you just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes , the pain gets to you when you least expect it. Hit's way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always make more.
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2008-05-25 19:41:35 Lomotion
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided, there's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own.But the basic insecurity, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all, become an adult... We get bigger, we get taller,we get older. But for the most part, we are still a bunch of kids. Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in. I've heard it's possible to grow up.I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic. Against all the experience. Like children, we never give up hope.
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2008-05-25 22:18:27 Lomotion
As doctors patients always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and sent me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't understand the underling cause...or just how deep the wound really is. The first step towards a real cure is to know excatly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here. Ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix. As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you. Shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're luck, you end up with nothing more than flesh wound. Something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.
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2008-05-26 13:35:26 Lomotion
It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts thinks that people are less inclined to off them themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your famil. You take that the fates hand you... and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not... you cope. There's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until you ready to go out into the world...and find your tribe.
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2008-05-26 16:49:29 Lomotion
There's this thing about being a surgeon. Maybe it's pride or maybe it's just about being tough. But a ture surgeon never admits they need help unless absolutely necessary.Surgeons don't need to ask for help cause they are tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys, rough around the edges. Hard-core. Least that's what they want you to think. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hard-core for once. You don't need to be or have to be tough every minute of everyday. It's okey to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do...As long as you choose your moments wisely.
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2008-05-26 16:56:54 Lomotion
At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses. Which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours.
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2008-05-26 17:09:47 Lomotion
In life, we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, Pride, Lust. But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe we think anger is not that dangerous. That we can control it. My point is maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be alot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior... it did make the top seven. So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride then you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others. But anger... anger is the worst, the mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge. When it dose, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.
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2008-05-26 21:11:15 Lomotion
There's a reason why surgeons learn to wield scaples. They like to pretend they are hard, cold scientist. They like to pretend they are fearless. But the truth is, they become surgeons because somewhere, deep down, they think they can cut away that which haunts them. Weakness, frailty, death. The truth is， I don't know anyone who haunted by sth... or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet, our effort usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page... or put an old story to rest. Finally, finally to rest.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.> 删除 -
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2008-05-26 21:17:25 Lomotion
There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly you're old enough to vote, drink, and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly people expect you to be responsible. Serious, a grown-up. We get taller, er get older, but do we really grow up?
No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we still forever stumbling. Forever wondering. Forever young.> 删除 -
2008-05-26 21:30:53 Lomotion
We all go through life like bulls in a China shop. A chip here. A crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people.The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes, the damage is sth we can't even see. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood.Then, as grow-ups, we give as good as we get.Ultimately, we all do damage. And then... we set about the business of fixing... whatever we can.
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2008-05-31 21:48:59 Lomotion
1.03
We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven days a week, fourteen hours a day. We're together more than we're apart.After a while the ways of residency become the ways of life. Number one: always keep score. Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three? Don't make friends with the enemy. And number four: everything, everything is a competition.Whoever said that winning wasn't everything....never held a scalpel.
There's another way to survive this competition. A way that no one ever seems to tells you about. One you have to learn for yourself. Number five: it's not about the race at all. There are no winners or losers. Victories are counted by the number of lives saved. And once in a while, if you're smart, the life you save could be your own.> 删除 -
2008-05-31 21:59:21 Lomotion
1.04 No Man's Land
Intimacy is a four-syllable word for, "Here are my heart and soul, Please grind them into hamburger and enjoy." It's both desired and feared,difficult to live with......and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to life's three R's: Relatives, romance and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know. I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy.It would be nice if you could see it coming. And I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it...and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules...maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.> 删除 -
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2008-05-31 22:11:30 Lomotion
1.05 Shake Your Groove Thing
Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday, or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck.Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands... Hello! Talk about responsibility. Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it?The scariest part about responsibility: when you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.
Responsibility. It really does suck.Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences.And still, adulthood has its perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do.
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2008-05-31 22:22:11 Lomotion
1.06 If Tomorrow Never Comes
A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow," he said, "which you can do today.This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That, by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor.
The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost.We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometime we have to see for ourselves.We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.
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2008-05-31 22:30:13 Lomotion
1.07 The Self Destruct Button
Ok, anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it's not just the job that keeps us up. I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?
Maybe we like the pain.Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know......maybe we just wouldn't feel real.What's that saying? "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?" "Because it feels so good when I stop."> 删除 -
2008-05-31 22:40:56 Lomotion
1.08 Save Me
You know how when you were a kid and you believed in fairy tales?That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, Who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill. You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true.
At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well...it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happy ever after. Just that it's happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while...people may even take your breath away.> 删除 -
2008-05-31 22:48:18 Lomotion
1.09 Who's Zoomin' Who?
Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital...Well, that's a little different. One thing is certain. Whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don't have room for anything else.
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control... ...you're not.> 删除 -
2008-05-31 22:57:19 Lomotion
2.01 Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple.Cut, suture and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips it's stitches wide open.
The say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral， clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off? To stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.
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2008-05-31 23:41:58 Lomotion
2.02 Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)
I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say, "Say when." My aunt would say, "Say when," and of course we never did. We don't say "when" because there's something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.
There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. t's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times, there's no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless. And all we want is more.> 删除 -
2008-05-31 23:44:15 Lomotion
2.03 Make Me Lose Control
Surgeons are control freaks, with a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain, you are 10 feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the O.R. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control just falls to crap. No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task.And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning , and you realize that you shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you .No matter how hard you fight it ,you fall. And its scary as hell. Except there's an upside to free falling . It's the chance you give you friends to catch you.> 删除 -
2008-05-31 23:53:02 Lomotion
2.04 Deny, Deny, Deny
The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth.We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth, right in front of our faces.
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the damn bursts all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth.Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial ... and face the world head on gun's blazing. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean. o how do you keep from drowning in it?> 删除 -
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2008-06-01 00:09:44 Lomotion
2.05 Bring The Pain
Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize...ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.
Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets to you when you least expect it. Hit's way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always make more.> 删除 -
2008-06-01 00:22:48 Lomotion
2.06 Into You Like A Train
In general... people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Ok, so my point actually ... and I do have one. Has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.
As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know.We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And how to take care of each other.Eventually we even have to figure out... how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there maybe fear..... but there's also hope.> 删除 -
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2008-06-01 12:14:32 Lomotion
2.07 Something to Talk About
Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking; the harder it becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need.
At the end of the day there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear. And some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often ... but every now and then ...... some things simply speak for themselves.> 删除 -
2008-06-01 12:25:42 Lomotion
2.08 Let It Be
In the 8th grade, my English class had to read Romeo & Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear. That love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic. Romeo & Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison and go to sleep in a mausoleum ...... she deserved whatever she got.
Maybe Romeo & Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could've known that beforehand maybe it would've all been ok. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was growing up I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now I believe for the most part love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending ... most of the time. And that sometimes despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.> 删除 -
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2008-06-01 13:16:11 Lomotion
2.09 Thanks for the Memories
Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy just to be alive... Whether we like it or not.
Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciate small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing ...... is reason enough to celebrate.> 删除 -
2008-06-01 13:29:02 Lomotion
2.10: Much Too Much
When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college it was the heady combo of youth, tequila and well you know...As a surgeon you take as much of the good as you can get... because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love is not always a good thing.
How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bear?> 删除 -
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2008-06-01 21:23:43 Lomotion
2.11 Owner of a Lonely Heart
Forty years ago, The Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely the surgical wings of hospitals. As surgeons we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that at the end of the day all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.
400 years ago another well known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in. And let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have 4 legs. Someone to play with or run around with. Or just hang out.> 删除 -
2008-06-01 21:25:21 Lomotion
2.12 Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts thinks that people are less inclined to off them themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your famil. You take that the fates hand you... and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not... you cope. There's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until you ready to go out into the world...and find your tribe.
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2008-06-01 21:36:20 Lomotion
2.13 Begin the Begin
Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over.It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing, we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.> 删除 -
2008-06-01 21:44:58 Lomotion
2.14 Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest.ying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.
No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. Whether we like it or not.But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts.So we lie.
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2008-06-01 21:54:08 Lomotion
2.15 Break on Through
In surgery there is a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized is not tolerated. In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity.If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it ...... the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?
We can't help ourselves. We see a line. We want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is once you've crossed it's almost impossible to go back. But, if you do manage to make it back across that line. You find safety in numbers.> 删除 -
2008-06-02 13:32:16 Lomotion
2.16 It's the End of the World
It's a look patients get in their eyes. There is a scent. The smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die? (Izzie and Meredith appear to be naked showering together and scrubbing each other sensuously. Cristina is also in there helping them. They look like they're having a blast) Ok, hello? Clearly not my dream. (George enters the shower and shuts the door behind. He then re-opens it, tosses his towel on the ground. Scene switches abruptly to George falling from his bed in his bedroom in the house) See? I told you, not my dream.
2.17 As We Know It
In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent. The smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is. It's creepy. Because if you know. What do you do about? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?
If this was your last day on Earth, how would you wanna spend it?> 删除 -
2008-06-02 13:33:33 Lomotion
2.18 Yesterday
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided, there's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own.But the basic insecurity, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all, become an adult... We get bigger, we get taller,we get older. But for the most part, we are still a bunch of kids. Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in. I've heard it's possible to grow up.I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic. Against all the experience. Like children, we never give up hope.> 删除 -
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2008-06-02 13:47:58 Lomotion
2.19 What Have I Done To Deserve This?
Ok so sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions.Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're gonna regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret, regret because at least you know we put ourselves out there. But still ... something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. I mean maybe not regret, regret because at least you know we put ourselves out there. But still ... something inside us decides to do a crazy thing.A thing we know that'll probably turn around and bite us in the ass.Yet, we do it anyway.What I'm saying is ... we reap what we sow.What comes around goes around. It's karma and any way you slice it ...... karma sucks.Like I was saying ...... payback's a bitch.
One way or another, our karma, will leave us to face ourselves.We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind.One way or another, our karma will always find us.And the truth is as surgeons we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor.No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home.I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just ... evens the score.And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass ..... well it goes without saying ......we do it anyway.
ps:这集是George的独白> 删除 -
2008-06-02 13:49:39 Lomotion
2.20 Band Aid Covers the Bullet Hole
As doctors patients always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and sent me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't understand the underling cause...or just how deep the wound really is. The first step towards a real cure is to know excatly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here. Ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix. As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you. Shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're luck, you end up with nothing more than flesh wound. Something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.> 删除 -
2008-06-02 13:59:10 Lomotion
2.21 Superstition
My college campus has a magic statue.It's a long-standing tradition for students to rub it's nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power......and insisted on visiting it to rub it's nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out her sophomore year. But the fact is we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting out left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.
Superstition lies in the space between what we can control...and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help?Is anyone really listening?And if no one's listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all?We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju...from wherever it comes.> 删除 -
2008-06-02 14:04:51 Lomotion
2.22 The Name of the Game
A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play-by-play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play...a little too much.
Life is not a spectator sport.Win, lose or draw...the game is in progress...whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead: argue with the refs, change the rules...cheat a little...take a break...and tend to your wounds.But play. Play.Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Ok, so it's not whether you win or lose...it's how you play the game. Right?> 删除 -
2008-06-06 14:58:24 Lomotion
2.23 Blues for Sister Someone
The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice.And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.
A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it."What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. Too often, going after what feels good, means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. When we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side or measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.
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2008-06-06 15:02:06 Lomotion
2.24 Damage Case
We all go through life like bulls in a China shop. A chip here. A crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people.The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes, the damage is sth we can't even see.
We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood.Then, as grow-ups, we give as good as we get.Ultimately, we all do damage. And then... we set about the business of fixing... whatever we can.> 删除 -
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2008-06-06 15:08:58 Lomotion
2.25 17 Seconds
In life, we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, pride, lust.But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous.That we can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior......it did make the top seven.
So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins?It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride then you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others. But anger...anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.> 删除 -
2008-06-06 15:30:34 Lomotion
2.26 Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response
2.27 Losing My Religion
Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. Family. Love. Sex. But we only need one thing... To actually be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threatened...We respond in one of two ways. We either run...Or...We attack. There's a scientific term for this.Fight...Or flight. It's instinct.We can't control it.Or can we?
ps:(Mere + George + Cristina + Izzie + Derek + Burke + Addison + Alex + Richard + Bailey)'s monologue =这两集的独白> 删除 -
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2008-06-09 22:37:45 Lomotion
3.01 Time Has Come Today
In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes. 15 hours. Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering....until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other.
Time flies.Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds.All any of us wants is more time.Time to stand up... time to grow up. Time to let go.Time...> 删除 -
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2008-06-09 22:57:34 Lomotion
3.02 I Am a Tree
At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours.Of course, sometimes we have impulses we'd rather not control.
The body is a slave to its impulses.But the thing that makes us human...Is what we can control.after the storm. After the rush. After the heat of the moment has passed.We can cool off and clean up the messes we've made.We can try to let go of what was. And then again...> 删除 -
2008-06-09 23:07:44 Lomotion
3.03 Sometimes a Fantasy
Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant; we splice them open with a butter knife. Replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in.Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake. Banished to the back of our mind. But sometimes we're sure, if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.
The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good.And twice as much pleasure is better.That pain is bad. And no pain is better.But the reality is different.The reality is that pain is there to tell us something.And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's OK.Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.
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2008-06-09 23:23:46 Lomotion
3.04 What I Am
At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become If you ask them they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because Outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue who they are, they're afraid to find out.
ps:加一段Denny的留言
Dad, mom it's me. I'm calling from Seattle Grace hospital where the beautiful, talented, and incredibly stubborn Dr. Isobel Stephens has just given me a brand new heart and promised to marry me. I know we've had our differences and I'm sorry we've been out of touch.Believe it or not, I was trying to make everything better. I know you're angry but I hope you cn forgive me. Turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing......Sometimes you have to make big mistake to figure out how to make things right.Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. I know what I want. I've got the love of my life, and a new heart. And I want you guys to get on the next plane out here and meet my girl. Everything's going to be different now.I promise, from here on out, nothing's ever going to be the same. I love you. Bye.> 删除 -
2008-06-10 00:28:42 Lomotion
3.05 Oh, The Guilt
First, do no harm. As doctors we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens. Then guilt happens, and there's no oath for how to deal with that.Guilt never goes anywhere on its own. It brings its friends, doubt and insecurity.
First, do no harm. Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world but the fact is... most of us do harm all the time.Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good.And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is entirely up to you.We're left with a choice...Either you can let guilt thrown you back into the behavior that got you in trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt, and do your best to move on.> 删除 -
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2008-06-10 13:49:18 Lomotion
3.06 Let The Angels Commit
To make it... really make it as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed. Cause if we're not, we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.
There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.> 删除 -
2008-06-10 13:56:39 Lomotion
3.07 Where the Boys Are
As surgeons we're trained to look for disease.Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble.Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.
Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye.And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise.The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury.And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.> 删除 -
2008-06-10 13:56:47 Lomotion
3.07 Where the Boys Are
As surgeons we're trained to look for disease.Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble.Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.
Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye.And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise.The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury.And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.> 删除 -
2008-06-10 14:06:55 Lomotion
3.08 Staring at the Sun
Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There's a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.> 删除 -
2008-06-10 14:19:45 Lomotion
3.09 From A Whisper to a Scream
As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a 10-blade. And every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to. But not all secrets can be kept.
In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear.We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust. And then there are some wounds that are so deep, so profound, that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.> 删除 -
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2008-06-11 14:04:57 Lomotion
3.10 Don't Stand So Close to Me
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care about each other...it's usually a load of bull.So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to. and once we've chosen those people we tend to stick close by.no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.And sure, sometimes close can be too close.But sometimes that invasion of personal space... it can be exactly what you need.
ps:小感人的一段
（Christina受到排挤）
Meredith: I can't take this any more.
Izzie: What?
Meredith: Let her off the hook. Let Christina off the freakin' hook.
Christina: Meredith..
Meredith: Izzie, you cut the LVAD wire. She stuck by you and did the echo. (to Alex) You cheated on Izzie with syph nurse, and she helped you study for your boards. And George when everyone was calling you 007......
George: She was calling me 007.
Meredith: Just let her off the hook.
Alex: It's okay.
Izzie: Sorry.
(They leave)
Christina: Why can't you mind your own business? What is your problem?
Meredith: You're my sister. You're my family. You're all I've got
Christina: I'm so tired.
Meredith: I know me too.
> 删除 -
2008-06-11 14:19:45 Lomotion
3.11 Six Days (Part 1)
3.12 Six Days (Part 2)没独白的两集
--Izzie: I'm both. I'm a surgeon. And I'm a person who becomes emotionally involved. I will never again cross the line like I did with Denny. I learned my lesson. But I'm still both. And I'm not gonna give up either part of me. And I'm not going to apologize for it.
--Christina: There's a club...the dead dad's club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try and understand...you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss...my dad died when I was 9. George...I'm really sorry you had to join the club.
George: I...I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't.
Christina: Yeah, that never really changes.> 删除 -
2008-06-11 14:28:01 Lomotion
3.13 Great Expectations
No one believes their life will turn out just kind of ok. We all think we're going to be great. And from the day we decide to become surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go, and then we get there.
We all think we're going to be great. And we feel robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected pales in comparison to the unexpected.You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the unexpected is just what keeps us steady...standing...still.The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
ps
Cristina: I was right. I swear, I really believe what I did was right. I don't want you to forgive me. Frankly...I'd...find it patronizing if you did because while I know I was right, you think I'm wrong. Which doesn't matter. Because, I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul, and I'm in this to finish the race. So if that means I don't win this one, then fine. I don't win. You win. I'm talking. See I'm talking first, you win.
Burke: Marry me.> 删除 -
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2008-06-15 19:06:21 Lomotion
3.14 Wishing and Hoping
As surgeons we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs ......and suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then...something amazing happens.And against our better judgment, we start to have hope.
As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what are patients really want to know is. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What are patients really want to know is......is their hope.But inevitably there are times when you find yourself in the worst-case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we have left.
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2008-06-15 19:20:59 Lomotion
3.15 Walk on Water
3.16 Drowning on Dry Land
Disappearances happen in science, disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained, it's rare, bit it happens. We call it misdiagnosis say we never saw it, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?
Like I said disappearances happen. Pains go phantom, blood stops running, and people fade away. There's more I have to say. So much more. But I've disappeared.
PS
1
Burke: What is your problem?
Cristina: You know, everyone's back. Everyone's back except here. And I listened to her, everyday about her McLove life and McDreamy and McCrap. And on the one day, the one day I have a thing...she's disappears.
Burke: Meredith? This is about Meredith.
Cristina: She doesn't know yet.
Burke: Meredith?
Cristina: She's my person!
Burke: Right. And if Meredith doesn't approve, then what?
Cristina: No, no, no. This is not about getting her approval. It's about...
Burke: What?
Cristina: Telling her...makes it...makes it...if I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.
Burke: Ok, see now, you're likening someone here to a corpse. I'm done.
Cristina: She's my person.
2
Izzie: I know people die. People die in front of us everyday. But I believe Meredith will survive this. I believe...I believe...I...I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of year and in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary we will all be ok. I believe a lot of things. I believe that...I believe that Denny is always with me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me the calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. And I believe that you are a man who made a terrible mistake marrying Callie. And I believe that because I am your best friend I can tell you this and we will be ok. I believe even though you made this mistake you will be ok. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive.> 删除 -
2008-06-15 19:39:06 Lomotion
3.17 Some Kind of Miracle
There are medical miracles. Being worshippers at the alters of science we don't like to believe miracles exist, but they do.Things happen...we can't explain them, we can't control them, but they do happen.
At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered and so many aren't...We take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch.
关于友情
(Cristina is at Joe's with bags of stuff)
Cristina: Do you use moisturizer? Here take this, keep it behind the bar.
Joe: Wow, what is this? It smells like something burning.
Cristina: It's gingerbread.
Joe: Yeah.
Cristina: You're not getting this are you? Ok, this is 99 cents. Ok? You can buy anything for 99 cents. It's small, it's um, tiny size, it has cat like creatures on it but it is a chair. For 99 cents you can buy a chair, that's America man.
Joe: That's Taiwan, man. You know this ferry things pretty bad. Don't you think you should be...
Cristina: I am coping. Ok? I'm coping. So, uh, shut up and look at all my crap.
(Joe's bar)
Cristina: This is...this is quality sudoku, Joe. This is like two dollars worth of sudoku.
Joe: Good to know.
(Joe walks away and Burke sits down next to her)
Burke: Been no change. Thought you should know.
Cristina: No kidding.
Burke: You know, some do come back from this.
Cristina: I am not a civilian. I know the science here. It's drinking time.
Burke: Not yet! You have a responsibility to Meredith.
Cristina: Uh-huh, I don't do this stuff. You should know.
Burke: You were there when I needed you.
Cristina: After. After I knew you were gonna make it. Ok. I not proud, ok? I just...I can't. I can't go back there and watch.
Burke: Listen to me, this is about you and the woman you call your person and you do know the science here. And if she dies and you are sitting here when that happens I can't see you coming back from that. Come and say goodbye to your friend.
（Mer恢复意识）
Cristina: Did you just say something? Did you just speak?
(Cristina stands at Meredith's side and touches her face)
Cristina: Ok, Mer, I don't understand you. Try...try again...try again for me, ok?
What...I...I can't? Please, please don't be. Your brain works, ok? So all you need to do is form a word, please.
Meredith: Ouch.
Cristina: Oh, god. Oh, hi! I'm getting married to Burke! Not that, that should be anywhere on your list of thought right now. But just in case you slip on the hall later or...You are the one person I wanted to tell. Thank you for not dying.
> 删除 -
2008-06-15 19:51:22 Lomotion
3.18 Scars and Souvenirs
People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories......diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere......and though the cuts long gone......the pain still lingers.
What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful......or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something......they remind us of where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Something's we just have to learn over and over and over again.> 删除 -
2008-06-15 20:08:18 Lomotion
3.19 My Favorite Mistake
Surgeons always have a plan, where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But even with the best plans, complications can arise, things can arise and suddenly you're caught with your pants down.
The thing about plans is...they don't take into account the unexpected. So, when we're thrown a curve ball, whether it's in the OR, or in life. We have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes......what we want......is exactly......what we need. But sometimes...Sometimes what we need is a new plan.
ps
(talking about the wedding)
Cristina: It has to be small. Just you and me...and Meredith...and Shepherd too, if you want. But that's it. And the justice of the peace. I know you're spiritual and stuff but I don't want any rabbi's or ministers, nothing religious. Let's just make an appointment at city hall and that'll be it. And no veil. Ok, I don't wanna get married with a mosquito net all over my face.> 删除 -
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2008-06-30 15:49:09 Lomotion
3.20 Time After Time
A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heartburn's a heart attack, if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to rewrite their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke or forget to mention certain drugs, which in surgery can be the kiss of death.We can ignore it all we want.But our history, eventually, always comes back to haunt us.
Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing.At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know...Or do we step forward to something new.It's hard not to be haunted by our past.Our history resurfaces time after time after time.So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.
> 删除
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剧中人如何那样就接受了George的离去 (libra)
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