美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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My name is Mary Alice Young.
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When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article
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about the unusual day I had last week.
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Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life,
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but that all changed last thursday.
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Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
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I made breakfast for my family.
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I performed my chores.
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I completed my projects.
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I ran my errands.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day --
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quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.
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That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet
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and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.
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My body was discovered by my neighbor mrs. Martha Huber,
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who had been startled by a strange popping sound.
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Her curiosity aroused,
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mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.
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After some initial hesitation,
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she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot.
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There's blood everywhere.
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Yes. You've got to send an ambulance. You've got to send one right now.
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And for a moment,
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mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy...
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But only for a moment.
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If there was one thing mrs. Huber was known for,
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it was her ability to look on the bright side.
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I was laid to rest on a monday.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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After the funeral, all the residents of wisteria lane came to pay their respects.
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And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.
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Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
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Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
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Of course, she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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She didn't have the time.
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But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant,
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her husband Tom had an idea.
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"Why not quit your job?
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"Kids do better with stay-at-home moms. It would be so much less stressful."
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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But this was not the case.
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In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic,
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she was now forced to get her fried chicken from a fast-food restaurant.
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Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it,
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but she couldn't. She didn't have the time.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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- Stop it !
- But, mom!
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No,
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you are going to behave today.
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I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood.
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And just so you know how serious I am...
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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what's that?
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Santa's cell phone number.
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How'd you get that?
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I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf,
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and if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa,
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.
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You willing to risk that?
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Okay. Let's get this over with.
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Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block,
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brought a spicy paella.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Since her modeling days in New York,
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Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food...
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and rich men.
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Carlos, who worked in mergersnd acquisitions,
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proposed on their third date.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes,
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but she soon discovered this happened
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every time Carlos closed the big deal.
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Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.
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However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,
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I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.
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He let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible.
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Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?
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Look, just work it into the conversation.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.
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Why not?
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At the Donoghue party, everyone was talking mutual funds,
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and you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.
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I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down, please?
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Absolutely. We wouldn't want them to think we're not happy.
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Bree van de Kamp, who lives next door,
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brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.
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Bree was known for her cooking,
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and for making her own clothes,
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and for doing her own gardening,
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and for reupholstering her own furniture.
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Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood,
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and everyone on Wisteria lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.
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Everyone, that is, except her own family.
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Paul. Zachary.
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Hello, mrs. Van De Kamp.
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Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
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It was no trouble at all.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Now, the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests,
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but the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary.
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It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast-type things.
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Thank you.
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Well, the least I could do is
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make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning.
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I know you're out of your minds with grief.
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Yes, we are.
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Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.
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Of course.
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Susan Mayer, who lives across the street,
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brought macaroni and cheese.
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Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni,
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saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook,
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and she rarely made it well.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house.
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It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt.
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She burned it the night carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.
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A year had passed since the divorce.
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Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life,
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even one who would make fun of her cooking.
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Mom... why would someone kill themselves?
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Well... sometimes people are so unhappy,
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they think that's the only way they can solve their problems.
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But mrs. Young always seemed happy.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they're totally different on the inside.
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Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend always smiling and says nice things,
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but deep down, you just know she's a bitch?
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I don't like that word, Julie.
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But, yeah, that's a great example.
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Hey, what's going on? Sorry I'm late.
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Hi, susan.
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Hey. So, what did Carl say when you confronted him?
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You'll love this. He said...
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"it doesn't mean anything. It was just sex."
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.
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Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, and he said, "you know, Susan,
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most men live lives of quiet desperation."
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Please tell me you punched him.
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No, I said, "really? And what do most women lead
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lives of noisy fulfillment?"
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Hmm. Good for you.
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I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch.
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It's like my grandmother always said -- an erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
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Even the limp ones aren't that ethical.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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This is half the reason I joined the NRA.
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Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences,
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I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home
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with a loaded Smith & Wesson.
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Lynnie, Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might?
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years.
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I wish he was having sex with someone else.
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So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?
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I don't know.
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I'm sorry, you guys. I just...
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I just don't know how I'm going to survive this.
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Listen to me.
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We all have moments of desperation.
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But if we can face them head-on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are.
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Susan. I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on friday.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closetand help pack up her things.
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He said he can't face doing it by himself.
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Sure. That's fine.
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Are you okay?
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Yeah.
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I'm just so angry.
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If Mary Alice was having problems,she should have come to us.
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She should have let us help her.
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What kind of problems could she have had?
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She was healthy, had a great home, a nice family.
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- Her life was...
- Our life.
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No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we'd have known.
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She lives 50 feet away, for god's sakes.
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Gabby, the woman killed herself.
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Something must have been going on.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
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Why?
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I made it. Trust me.
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Hey, hey, do you -- do you have a death wish?
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No, I just refuse to believe that anybody cans crew up macaroni and cheese.
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Oh, my god.
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How did you -- it tastes like it's burned and undercooked.
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Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.
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Ha ha. Thanks.
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I'm Mike Delfino. I just started renting the simms house next door.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Susan Mayer. I live across the street.
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Oh, yeah, mrs. Huber told me about you.
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Said you illustrate children's books.
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Yeah, I'm very big with the under-5 set.
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- What do you do?
- Plumber.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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So if you ever have a clog...
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or something.
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Now that everybody's seen that I brought something,
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I should probably just throw this out.
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Ease up, you little vampire.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Lynette, I've been looking all over for you.
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Are you aware of what your sons are doing?
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What are you doing? We are at a wake.
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When we got here, you said we could go in the pool.
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I said you could go by the pool.
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Do you have your swimsuits on?
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Yeah, we put them under our clothes before we left.
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You three planned this? All right. That's it. Get out!
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- No!
- No?
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I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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We want to swim, and you can't stop us!
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Get out, or I will get in this pool and just grab you. Get out!
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Get over here.
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Get -- get over here!
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All right, give me your arm. Get back --
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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He had other things on his mind --
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things below the surface.
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The morning after my funeral,
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my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.
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While some did their cooking...
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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and some did their cleaning...
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and some did their yoga...
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others did their homework.
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Hi.
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I'm Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Oh, okay. Well, let's go around and get it.
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Stay.
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His wife died a year ago.
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He wanted to stay in L.A., but there were too many memories.
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He's renting for tax purposes, but he hopes to buy a place real soon.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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I can't believe you went over there.
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Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake.
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You're obviously into each other.
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Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out.
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Julie, I like mr. Delfino, I do.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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I just, uh, I don't even know if I'm ready to start dating yet.
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Oh, you need to get back out there.
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Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex?
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Are you mad that I asked you that?
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No, I'm just trying to remember.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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I don't want to talk to you about my love life anymore. It weirds me out.
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I wouldn't have said anything. It's just...
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What?
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I heard dad's girlfriend ask if you'd dated anyone since the divorce,
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and dad said he doubted it.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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And then they both laughed.
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- Susan.
- Hi, Mike.
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I brought you a little housewarming gift.
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I probably should have brought something by earlier, but...
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actually, you're the first in the neighborhood to stop by.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Really?
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Susan knews he was lucky.
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An eligible bachelor had moved onto wisteria lane,
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and she was the first to find out,
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but she also knew that good news...
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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Travels quickly.
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Edie Britt was the most predatory divorc?e in a 5-block radius.
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Her conquests were numerous...
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varied...
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and legendary.
美剧绝望的主妇Desperate Housewives英文对白
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